Dallas Cowboys Kicker Brandon Aubrey on Faith, Family, and the Pressure of the NFL

In today's episode, I sit down with Brandon Aubrey, kicker for your Dallas Cowboys. So when there's three seconds left and the game is on the line, he's the guy that's jogging out onto the field. He's a three-time Pro Bowler, one of the best kickers in the league right now. And yet, his path to the NFL didn't look like most players. What stood out to me in this conversation wasn't just us talking about Sundays, and for you football fans, we did. It's how seriously it takes being a husband, being a dad, and developing this newfound faith in his adult life. We talked about pressure, we talked about preparation, how to bounce back after a miss, and how he keeps his priorities straight in the middle of a demanding NFL career. I think you're going to enjoy this conversation. Let's get into it. Hey, welcome back to the Gaining Ground podcast. It's so good to have all of you. Gaining Ground, we're all about helping men grow. My name is Landon, and I have the honor of being the host today. If you've been watching Gaining Ground, there may be somebody that you'll notice is missing today. My co-host, my dad, Drew Sherman, is not here today. I know, while that's sad, I actually have a guest, though, that I think will make you forget all about my dad, and I say that with love. Okay, so love you, Dad. Today's guest is somebody that I'm absolutely thrilled to have on, is the first athlete, or at least professional athlete, that we've had on Gaining Ground podcast. Thrilled to introduce somebody that actually had a hand in helping me win a fantasy football championship this year, so thank you for one of my top ten accomplishments in life. No, I'm kidding, it's not. No, welcome to the podcast, three-time Pro Bowler, Mr. Brandon Aubrey. How you doing, man? Good to see you. I'm great. Thanks for having me, Landon, and I'm happy to be on a winning team, so thanks for winning with me on your team. There we go, man. I love it. I love it. Many of you may recognize Brandon because he is the kicker for America's team, the Dallas Cowboys. And so I know we got a lot of Dallas Cowboy fans we're going to talk all about today. Yeah, we're going to talk about how to win, right? You just mentioned that. How to handle pressure, because I think, man, being a kicker is probably one of the most pressure-filled jobs you can have,

and what it looks like to prioritize your family in the midst of a pretty demanding career, which I know a lot of people on here can identify with. So, man, I want to jump in with this. I always like to do somewhat of an icebreaker question, right? And we got a bunch of guys that are NFL fans, and they probably grew up in the backyard, dreaming of playing for the Dallas Cowboys. It didn't happen for them, just like it didn't happen for me, but it did happen for you. And I hear people talk all the time about these, like, welcome to the NFL moment, right? Where you realize, like, oh, it just got real. Yeah. So, Brandon, what did that look like for you? What was your welcome to the NFL moment? Yeah, so for me, you kind of have to set the backdrop of the previous guy in my job before I got here. He had a fantastic season, Brett Maher. I think it was like 90-plus percent on field goals throughout the year. And then a playoff game came, and he missed a bunch of extra points, inexplicably, at kind of probably the peak of his career, when it all kind of came crashing down. So he missed a bunch of extra points. Then they moved on from him. They brought me in, a guy that had no experience in the NFL. And it's week one in New York on Sunday Night Football. I got my first chance to go out on the field where I kicked off first. So that's nice to get that out of the way. So I got my first... Which Cowboys-Giants, I mean, that's a big rivalry right there. Yes, it's huge. So to be able to get my kickoff out of the way before having to hit an extra point or a field goal was massive. The Giants march down the field. They're going to kick a field goal. And I'm standing there watching without my helmet, just like,

hey, I'm going to get to watch an NFL kicker on the field up close in person. We ended up blocking that field goal and take it back for a touchdown. And then you're up. Yep. We call that a sudden change in the NFL. So obviously, I got to go find my helmet, run on the field, get going. But I wasn't quite mentally prepared for it. And wouldn't you know it, missed it really bad. Pulled it wide left. It's my first attempt in the NFL field goal, extra point. So the first time you stepped foot in an NFL field, you missed a kick. Yes. Dude, I didn't know that. Yeah. And so that continues the stretch of extra points that the kicker before me brought in. So I'm sure all the fans were thinking, I think we're never going to make an extra point ever again as a franchise. So that's starting off on the wrong foot. But luckily, that game, we won 40 to 0. So I had a lot of chances to kick. kick a lot more extra points in field goals that game and didn't miss again that game, so got it straight. Wow, okay, so the first time you ever stepped foot in a field, you know, you're watching this NFL kicker, and remind me, Brandon, like, have you, what was your background? Did you play football growing up? No. Or what was your story? Yeah, so I played soccer my whole life,

from a young age, probably like three or four, as early as I could walk, because I wanted to be just like my brother, who was playing soccer, upstairs in our game room, he'd throw me around, that's how I learned. But I played soccer my whole life, played collegiately at Notre Dame, then got drafted in the first round to go to Toronto, played one season there, didn't make my debut, was kind of a reserve player, moved on to the USL, which is a second tier soccer league in America, played one season with Bethlehem Steel there, actually had a good year, but, you know, wasn't the lifestyle I wanted, and, you know, I was getting married, that team dissolved, so my contract was gone, I was looking around for another place, and decided, you know, it's time to retire, went on to be a software engineer, which is what I studied at Notre Dame, did that for two and a half years, while training to be a kicker. Basically, my wife could tell that, you know, I wasn't enjoying being a software engineer, so she mentioned, hey, maybe you should try kicking a football when you're watching a game on TV, because, you know, every Sunday we'd watch NFL games, just like most of America. Jen gave you the idea to be an NFL kicker?

Yes, yes she did. Like, your wife was like, I want you to go outside and kick a football? Absolutely. You got a bunch of guys right now that are waiting for their wife to be like, you need to go pick up that baseball. It's like the movie The Rookie from Dennis Quaid, except you're not 58 out of shape, so. Absolutely. Okay, wait, okay, so, let me just go back to a couple things you just said, because I didn't realize this about your story, man, so, like, you never played, like, peewee football. I played peewee football, I played middle school football, but when the time came for high school athletics, I was kind of told by my soccer coach, if you want to be good at soccer, you're gonna have to dedicate yourself to just soccer, so, I don't think you should be playing basketball, football, baseball, and, you know, I listened to him, and it worked out for me. If I could go back and make that decision over again, would I selfishly want to play football in high school? Absolutely, that's a lot of fun. I even gave up high school soccer for the playing of, Like select league or whatever? Yeah, so I just played that select team. That was it, but, you know, it worked out for me. Yeah, it sounds like it did, man.

Okay, so, Jen, so you went professional soccer, which was the thing, your passion, what you dedicated your life to. You went there, that didn't work out. You retired, became a quote-unquote normal human being, okay, going to a job, as a software engineer? Yes. Okay, and then your wife says, hey, why don't you go try to kick a football? Yeah. All right, so you kick a football, you get really good at it, realize there's some type of, number one, you get a gift or a talent, then you stewarded that gift or the talent, which for what it's worth, the Gaining Ground podcast, right, this whole philosophy, is that everything in life is better when men grow, that everybody has gifts and talents. Our job is to help steward and resource those talents. It comes from 1 Timothy 4.15, devote yourself to these things, immerse yourself in them so that all may see your progress. Well, people have certainly seen your progress, Brandon. So, when I think of a kicker, man, I think about pressure, and I know that there's guys that are listening to this that maybe their job isn't as high profile in the sense of the number of eyes that are on them. I mean, Sunday Night Football is,

there's a lot of eyes on you on Sunday Night Football, but pressure is something I think men specifically, I know I do, feel a lot, and yet, I don't know that I can think of a job outside, at least in sports, that has as much pressure on you as a kicker does. Because when you kick an extra point, I mean, most people don't tell you thank you, right, it's expected, and then when you miss it, like you just mentioned the guy before you, he was killing it, and then all of a sudden lost it a little bit. One game. And it resulted in, at least, I don't know what happened to his career after that, but he had to move jobs, right? So, here's a question. How do you handle the pressure, Brandon, and what would you say to somebody that is dealing with pressure in their life? Just walk me through what it's like to be a kicker and how you deal with pressure. Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts on pressure. Obviously, that's the biggest component for a kicker. It's not such a physical demanding job, it's more mentally demanding, so. Which, for what it's worth, are you thankful for that? Because those dudes are freaking huge. Yes, I don't have to get touched, which is fantastic. Have you ever had to tackle somebody on a kickoff?

Just once so far in the NFL. Hopefully, can leave it at that, because it hurts. It does not feel good. Do you remember who it was? It was on the Lions. kick returner and have to go back and look. I kicked to their off returner. At least it wasn't Jameer Gibbs. Yes, exactly. He would've run me over. Yeah, that guy's unreal. Shout out, yeah, okay. So the first thing for pressure, I'd say the best way to handle it is being prepared for the situation you know you're gonna be in. And for kickers, that's pretty easy. You know what situation you're gonna be in. Being prepared for it means going out every day and training that's in the weight room, that's finding a mental coach and walking through exercises you can do to kind of calm your heart rate, whether that's breathing exercises, talking to yourself as you're on the field. For me, the biggest one is the breathing exercises on the sideline. And then as I'm coming onto the field, I talk to myself all the way through my process. As I believe pressure is perceived,

obviously you're going to kick a football. It's not the hardest thing to do in the world, but if you put too much into it, too much pressure on yourself, then it becomes a lot more difficult than it actually is. Because I've kicked a ball a million times in my life. The uprights aren't massive, but they're not tiny either. You just got to put the ball through 18 feet of uprights. So it's not the hardest task in the world. I kind of remind myself I've done it a million times. And then as I'm coming onto the field, if I walk through exactly what I need to do in my process to make good contact with the ball, to put it through the uprights, there's no time for me to think about the pressure or what the moment is, what the score is in the game. Because I feel pressure most when I'm at rest on the sideline waiting for my opportunity. As you can see it coming from a mile away, we're down by three, there's two minutes left, we're driving. At that point in time, yeah, I feel a lot of pressure. But as soon as I step onto the field and I start my mental process that I've practiced a million times to get myself prepared for, it all kind of goes away and then it's just kicking the ball. You know, there's a couple of things that stood out to me as I heard you talk. You talk about pressure is preparation. Or I'm sorry, the alleviation of pressure

is in large part due to your preparation. Yes. And then you said pressure is perceived. Yes. And I want to talk more about that too, because that was a great line. I remember when I was, so you know, if you're new to Gaining Ground, my background is I'm a pastor. I work at a church, I'm part of a prison ministry called God Behind Bars. And when I was studying to become a pastor, I was in seminary and they took us to this horse arena in the middle of the desert in Arizona. And I can't remember this guy's name, but man, it was like he broke a horse. Are you familiar with that terminology? Yeah. So like he basically, this was a wild Mustang stallion and then he breaks this horse and while he's doing it, it ends with him being able to sit on the horse and ride. He's teaching us like about leadership. Yeah. And he said a line that I thought was so brilliant. It's gold. He said, nobody rises to the occasion. You simply fall to your level of preparation. Yeah. And I just remember thinking like, my personality is like,

I'm going to try to say yes to as many things as I possibly can. What that's resulted in though sometimes is me winging stuff. Yeah. Which is not great. And I've realized after that, I don't feel good about it. And so the more prepared that I could possibly be before I step up to the plate to use sports metaphor or kick the field goal or go to work or have a conversation with my kid or my wife, like, what have I prepared for? Yeah. Right. What have I prepared for? And then the second thing I was thinking about Brandon is like, when you talk about self-talk, it made me think of this verse in Philippians chapter four that the apostle Paul writes, and here's what it says. Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I'll say rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. And whatever you talked about,

like the soundtrack that's going on in your head, this is what it reminded me of. Finally, brothers, whatever's true, whatever's honorable, whatever's just, whatever's pure, whatever's lovely, whatever's commendable, if there's any excellence, if there's anything worthy of praise, think about these things. And so he's telling his readers in the church and now telling us like, hey, the soundtrack in your head, if you're doing this with the Lord, should be what is true, what is honorable, what is just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, worthy of praise. Think about those things. And my guess is there's probably some guys listening to this right now, where if you thought about the soundtrack that's going on in your head, man, it ain't those things. And my hunch is that could be what's contributing to the feeling of pressure that you have in your personal life. in your work life and yet there's another opportunity. Now you think about those things you realize your identity is Christ isn't Christ and everything changes. So I want to revisit that pressure is perceived thing. I think I know what you mean by that. I definitely agree with it. Talk to me more about what that is. Yeah for me in the context of a football game it's what I mentioned earlier if you're focused on the scoreline if you're focused on the results or what the kick means in terms of the game or your overarching career then you're not really focused on what it takes to get the job done because for

me it's putting my ball in a specific spot or my foot on the ball in a specific spot and I mean that's pretty easy to focus on if if you kind of shepherd your mind that way but if you let it wander then you're not focused on what you need the details you need and you could miss something because the ball is moving it's a snap it's a hold and yes fast there's a chain reaction that you get 1.3 seconds to get it off from when it snapped so I've taken all the right details and ignore the details that don't matter. You got to take in all the right details and ignore the details that don't matter. You can't be looking up at the rush you don't want to be again thinking about the score you just need to think about where my plant foot needs to land in order for me to be able to put my kicking foot on the ball in the right spot if the ball is leaned a little bit differently then kind of change the angle of your your body as you're making contact so luckily I've got a good snapper and holder so I don't have to worry about those things very often but they are important versus you know what the score is if I'm kicking the ball and I'm like if I miss this we lose the game I'm increasing my chances of missing it. Okay so if you if you if I miss this we lose the game you're increasing your chances of missing it. Yeah. Right and okay the man this is I guess I didn't realize how much place kicking relates to life in general. Yes. It's kind of a metaphor. Absolutely. Which again I'm super grateful that you're on this and I'm thankful for the conversation but you know dude I've felt that like in my life too where it's like if I focus on everything that's wrong or could go wrong in my career in my marriage with my friendships there's probably a better chance that it will. Yes. Right there's a better chance that it will and yet if I focus on what I'm supposed to do like what God has asked me to carry the kind of husband that he's asked me to be the kind of father that has asked me to be like if I lean in and become excellent in those things if that's the soundtrack on my heart soul and mind then my chances of success man they they go through the roof. Absolutely. They go through the roof. Well man that's super helpful. Tell me tell me about you mentioned the first kick that you ever

attempted was a miss. Yeah. There's a lot of conversation I'm sure if you google your name after a miss there's a lot of chatter. Always. It doesn't matter how long you've been performing well if you miss a kick or two. You're just as good as your last kick. Exactly. Alright so how do you where do you go in your mind when you miss a kick and how do you deal with criticism? Yeah when I miss a kick I immediately go troubleshooting. Luckily I've been kicking a ball long enough that I can feel it off my foot before I really even look up I know if it's likely going in or missing and I can tell you know I sailed my plant I landed a little bit deep and I put my body behind the ball at contact it's gonna go a little bit right or if I swung too fast and I pulled it so I know those things pretty quickly and then if if I've missed my job is to get back to neutral thinking as fast as possible which can be tough because as a kicker you don't have a chance to correct a mistake you go out you miss a kick you give the other team good field position leaving points on the board and then you get to go sit on the on the bench and pray one of your teammates makes up for it because you're not going back on the field probably for another 10-15 minutes if you're lucky so for me it's okay let's figure out what went wrong and then go back to what the process is supposed to be like think of what a good kick feels like and and go from there because you don't want to dwell on the negatives too long I don't want to over correct and be okay you you pulled this one next one go out and push it to correct for that that pull I want to just think about what the proper technique is and what a good kick feels like that way I can get back to that solid fundamentals I had a leadership coach one time talked to me about how to reset after failure and he looked at me and he said hey Landon miss one not two And I was like, what do you mean by that? He said, you're gonna fail. Like failure is an inevitable part of life. What matters most is not that you fail, it's what you do and where you go after you fail. And so if you sit there and you dwell on that moment of failure, whatever it is, if it's in your marriage,

if it's in your friendship, if it's in the workplace, if it's kicking a field goal, right? If it's any arena of life, yeah, you miss one. If you focus on that miss, the likelihood of you missing another one increases. And again, I just go back to that verse in Philippians 4, four through eight, whatever's true, honorable, just pure, lovely, commendable, if there's anything worthy of praise, think about those things. So that way, when you get up to the plate, or you step on the field, or you go to work, or you sit down with your kids, you're not thinking about your failure, you're thinking about the next thing. Absolutely. The next good thing. And gosh, I just missed one, not two, man. And you talking about having to reset and where your mind goes, where your heart goes in a very high pressure situation. Man, one thing I've been wondering about is like, you seem like a very methodical, systematic, you're talking about even being a software engineer, right? I'm not an engineer, but I know a bunch of engineers and their brain is fascinating to me. How has the stuff you've learned on the football field, how to handle pressure, what to do after failure, how has that changed maybe your home life? Yeah. Your marriage with your wife, being a dad with your son,

what does that look like for you? Yeah, I'd say it's a lot harder off the field than it is on the field for me. I have, you know, when you're emotionally charged in an event or, you know, in your relationship where things to me matter more than on the football field, it's harder to get back to neutral. It's harder to kind of correct those mistakes you've made in your head. Cause you know, you're hurting somebody else's feelings or you've let down somebody in your life versus your teammates, which you care about your teammates. You care about the job at the end of the day, it's a game. And when it's the family, it's the closest thing to you. So for me... They're going to be there after you're done. Yes, exactly. So I got to find a way quickly to get over those negative emotions and think about what's important in the situation. How can I improve it? How can I bring us all back to neutral? Which can be hard cause it's not just you, it's your family and you can't control everything like you can in your professional environment. So you gotta, I have a hard time letting go of the things I can't control. So yeah, I'd say that's the hardest part. I don't think I've mastered those things yet. So I'm still trying to grow as a dad and as a husband,

but understanding that there are certain situations that are going to bring up a powerful response in me and trying to prepare mentally for those, like I would in a football game to when they arise to kind of ease that strong reaction I would have because you know, that's just gonna make the situation worse. So that's where I'd say I have the most growing to do. I've identified that and I'm constantly trying to work on it but yeah, that's where I'm trying to go currently. You said a bunch of things I think could resonate with our audience, but one that you kind of threw in there that I think I don't want to underestimate the magnitude of. You just said, what matters at home is more important. Okay, that's one thing to say, right? I mean, you're pretty good at what you do, right? I had a lot of people have noticed that and that's a great thing and it's awesome and I'm super happy for you and you know, one of your biggest cheerleaders and I'm sure there are people who envy the position, right? You grow up thinking about scoring touchdowns for America's team or kicking field goals for America's team. You actually get to do that. A lot of people, that's their life goal and life dream and you just said your wife and son are more important. Yeah.

So I'm curious, how'd you get there? I always grew up wanting to be a dad. I looked up to my dad, my mom as well and I saw the relationship they had and you know, as a kid, you think your parents are superheroes and you know, I still do. I think their relationship's awesome. They've been married for 30 something years now and it's something I've always wanted in life and that kind of shaped my whole life that way. Was excited. I think the most important decision you can make in life is who you marry and I got lucky, very fortunate to find Jen really early on in life, so I held on as strong as I could and You know we got married now. We're starting our family. We've got a year and a half old son and Jen is pregnant with number two Congratulations, thank you. I've met your son. He's a he's a ball of fun Yes, and so I've always wanted to be the best dad and husband I could possibly be it wasn't always my dream to be a kicker in the NFL That's kind of new in life, and you know I worked hard to achieve that and I Continue to work hard to make sure I can be that for a long time, but like you said That job will come and go and I'll still be a dad and I'll still be a husband when that's long gone So it's more important to me to be good at that than it is to be good at kicking So gonna do everything in my power and try as hard as possible to grow in those two fields hmm man, that's some really good stuff there and Yeah, I think it's probably like in the NFL what the average career is I think I read this somewhere It was like three years or something. Yeah, it's very accurate and and the truth is in for most people Listen to this you're the average career for you is is more than three years, right? you may change jobs over time, but you're gonna be working longer than three years and

So I think we could excuse excuse ourselves from a statement You just made when we really shouldn't have hey my family's gonna be there once I'm Done with the NFL But what I love about what you're doing is you're saying Your family comes first now yeah, and I think there's a lot of guys myself included sometimes that subconsciously we put our work before our family and Part of that comes from a good place we want to provide we want to win We want our kids to have nice stuff go on nice vacations There's a million different examples for this but at the end of the day though What we're ultimately responsible for is not how much money we have in a bank account not how many people know our name not how big we grew the company, but It's who do we have in this life with us? But I think that's one of the things that the Bible the Bible teaches, and I've been able just by starting this ministry and and being a part of Networking with a bunch of guys like I can't tell you the amount of CEOs that I've met That have retired in their early like in their 50s or 60s they hung it up and now what they're spending their time doing is just trying to help people mm-hmm and spend time with their wife and What I want from my life is To be able to come to that realization at 32 not 65 Yeah, right and did not miss the moment right now with my wife and my kids You just said the most important decision you've ever made in your entire life is who you marry Absolutely talk to me more about what that means you said you saw that maybe modeled in your mom and dad Yeah, but what does that look like? What did that look like for you before you and Jen got got married, and you're thinking hey? This is my life partner, and then how do you keep that at? the forefront of your mind as you're Raising kids and working a job. Yeah So I went into college saying I'm not gonna have a girlfriend. I'm gonna focus on sports Soccer was my life. I soccer is your girlfriend. Yes exactly I want to be in the MLS. It takes a lot of sacrifices I've spent my whole life trying to be as good at soccer as I possibly can and

Let's not get distracted from that and you know I Met Jen and I could tell okay change the and was she an athlete in there. Yes. She was a lacrosse player. Okay a goalkeeper Yes, when I met Jen I Immediately recognized all of the things I wanted in a wife. I couldn't really put it in a list I could just tell this is a person that is gonna be fantastic at you know a mom a wife She's caring. She's loving she's intelligent. She's really hard-working stubborn, which I think is a good thing But I just knew it was too good of an opportunity to you know kind of Pass by I was like this is a perfect person for me to Share the rest of my life with and that's exactly what it's gonna be soccer. You know I was really lucky my parents Put the idea in my head that soccer is gonna end at some point And you know that was go get your degree because you might not ever make it as a professional Soccer player and thankfully they did because I didn't make it as a professional soccer player I made it to being a pro, but I didn't make it as a pro So that Helped me be prepared for a career shift and also put in the back of my mind. Hey, why would I sacrifice? What I think is a really good spouse yeah and First soccer which is gonna be a fleeting moment in my life So made that decision early and luckily she felt the same way because that's a big part of it And then we got married right after college and you know She's been super supportive, and she was actually able the only reason I'm able to go to the USFL And take a huge pay cut from a software engineer because I took less than half of what I was making as a software engineer we just bought a house and everything because she was holding down a fantastic job as a pilot recruiter and then as a Ground school flight instructor for American Airlines I wouldn't have been able to take those risks if she wasn't supporting us in that time So just I think that decision and her decision to push me out the door and go chase a crazy idea like Becoming an NFL kicker with no kicking experience prior it just speaks to how good of a decision that was I made as a

Freshman in college and how do you find that she supports you today? Still because yeah, there was a there was a moment when y'all were figuring this out of hey go kick this football That's the way I picture it in my head is y'all are watching TV in your living room, and she's like hey go try this Yeah, so obviously with a son now Somebody's got to be watching him So that's where she steps in for the most part when I need to go To the gym or go to the field get some work in I got to go to the facility To meet with coaches that sort of thing so she Is on top of it with our home life, but then she even comes with me Before we had Colton would bring out her lacrosse stick come to the field and spend her free time Helping me shag balls, and then she'd help Remind me. I need to run at the end of practice to keep my legs in tip-top shape and some some days She'd even run with me So she's taken a big part of her journey and made it my journey for reference like every when we're Working as a software engineer and training to be a kicker every vacation we took was Kicking related we'd go out to a kicking camp in San Diego got to a kicking camp in Arizona And she'd come with me And we'd go see a site and then get to bed early and get up go to the camp the next day Get it done, and then come back home, so she made a lot of sacrifices for me to be here as well Whether that's her vacations or her free time Her money all that she put into me. How do you how do you how do you keep your family first? In the midst of a demanding season yeah, it's just a constant reminder when I get home that They're why I'm doing it kind of frame My job as I can do this as a kicker every year. I do this is seven years I don't have to do something else And then I can spend it with them and then I

Am fortunate as an NFL player the season isn't all that long it is demanding while you're in season And that's where Jen really steps up and takes care of the house for us and Colton but in the offseason I'm home a lot, and I get to spend a lot of time with them and kind of ease that burden on Jen and let her kind of You know take it 50-50 with me So I just remind myself constantly that okay. I'm kicking a football so we can be together for a longer period of time and You got to be good at it because if you're not good Then you're gonna be replaced and you're gonna be right back at a nine-to-five where you don't have as much free time to spend with them Brandon I'm curious we talked about your marriage, but I mean you became a dad right you got a year-and-a-half old Son you're about to have another yes. I have a four and a one-year-old and I could say that becoming a father Changed me probably more than anything else in my life that I can think of any second to becoming a Christ follower But becoming a dad I mean when you hold that baby for the first time it's like I I'm not ready for this. I can't believe they're gonna. Let me go home with this thing at the hospital You know you you were used to Being married and you and Jen having you know your your life, and then all of a sudden you you became a father So how has becoming a dad changed you and what have you learned? Yeah? I've learned way too much to count whether that's what's in our food and stuff like that But I've learned about Patience because you got to be patient with have to have patience with the young one You know he doesn't I guess know how to communicate as much as he wants he seems like he knows what's going on But he has a harder time communicating that because he's only got such a limited vocabulary sure at this point in time So patience is a big one kind of how to manage The shifting and the focus of our relationship going from just me and Jen to obviously now we're mainly focused on raising a son who we think is gonna be productive member of society and Just be a generally happy person and trying to figure out all of that that goes into it

Whether that be you know day-to-day. How do we get this kid fed a proper meal? Yeah, so like just the shifting of focus like you said from ourselves to to Colton biggest part You know Brandon one of the things you said to me off before we we started recording is You know your your upbringing your family you you just told that you just mentioned that you deeply respected your parents marriage There's probably parts of that that you know, you want to emulate or replicate in your relationship with Jen, which is great But I'm curious now being an adult being a dad a husband somebody who excels at their career part of how we met was because you know, there's there's an interest in in the things of faith, right and Following understanding Jesus. So man talk to me about like your your faith experience. Yeah, because I have a feeling There's probably some people that'll be really encouraged by your story and where you're at now. Yeah, so I grew up in Plano my parents My mom in particular really wanted me to have faith as a core of my life and took me to church every Sunday up until about 10 or 11 and then You know, I started playing select soccer and I was it was apparent I was gonna be pretty good at it So they helped me make the decision. Hey if you want to go chase this thing, this is kind of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so Let's put you in select soccer and that kind of conflicted with the church schedule. So we put You know my faith on the back burner And it kind of lasted that way all the way through college through my professional Soccer career and Now that we have a little bit more time playing football with and even when we were a software engineer Jen really wanted to get back to the church, so We started coming pretty regularly and you know, since we've we've had Colton we've kind of started finding excuses. We're too tired We can't get up that early sort of deal So, yeah, it's been on the back burner for most of my life But something that I've been trying to get into but don't really know how there's not really a

Clear roadmap or an example in my life of what it looks like So I always feel like I'm just kind of stumbling around when I'm at church. Well Man, thank you for your honesty. And that's part of the reason why we started this this whole idea of gaining ground, right and Because God just put it on my heart to try to help reach men and and men specifically that probably feel similar to what you just said of Hey, I got a lot of things going on in my life. I think it's a good thing. I'm not Anti-faith by any means. I just don't know what to do Yeah, I know how to progress in every other area of my life. But then there's what do you do with faith and Gaining ground centers around the idea that that whether you've been in church for 50 years or You're just starting this thing. You became a follower of Jesus yesterday. You're dealing with addiction. You're dealing with struggle You got 500 other priorities. You can still grow spiritually and you do that by by Deciding that and and so I just want to encourage you Brandon like one of the things I think is really cool about your opportunity is And I don't know a ton of NFL players My guess is you're probably a little bit different than a lot of them and and that's not to diss any of them the encouragement is What you've talked about today is that? Ultimately the most important thing about your life is not what happens between white lines with a brown ball Mm-hmm. It's the kind of father that you are the kind of husband that you are And so Brandon, I just want to encourage you like I think you can make a big impact in the NFL and when it comes to the things of faith like man my my prayer for you is that You're able to start to identify how you can grow in that and then you find a team right now you understand what it's like to be a team that can help you do that and And there's a bunch of men that are listening to this right now That fall in that category, too, and that's why but we started this whole thing. And so no matter where you are in this process, you can grow.

How you grow is you decide to. I'm gonna make this priority. It's gonna be ingrained in every part of my life. That phrase, the first Timothy 4.15, devote yourself to these things, whether these things, the things of God, immerse yourself in them so that all may see your progress. You gain ground 1% better every day and an inch at a time. And it's just been exciting to see men say yes to that. And so I'm excited for you. Appreciate it. Yeah, man. All right, last question. What's one piece of advice that you have for a kid pursuing a dream to go be a professional athlete? Let's start there. And then I've got another question to close. Yeah, I'd say find somebody who's been there before and pick their brain, figure out what's important, the key skillsets you need and work on those every day. You're gonna have to make sacrifices along the way. I gave up, you know, when I was in college, it was just homework, practice, see Jen and then sleep. That's about all I did. So that's what I'd say is find somebody who's been there before, get those details mapped out and then work on those things. Okay.

Now, what would you say to somebody who's dealing with pressure, who's trying to work through their priorities? What would your one piece of encouragement be to them? Yeah, try to view it as an opportunity. When I'm going onto the field, let's say the most recent season, week two of the Giants game, we're down 37-40. We have a chance at a 64-yard field goal to send it to overtime. Instead of viewing that as being put in a situation where you're likely to fail, view it as a situation where you have an opportunity to set yourself apart from the rest and an opportunity just to perform and showcase what you're made of. Because I like to say the harder the task is, then the more you'll shine when you succeed doing it. So that's what I look at it. I know that's a football example. I don't know how to relate that to life, but if that's, you've got a big task at work that's coming up and you're likely to fail at it, instead of focusing on what happens when you fail, just focus on what you can do to succeed in that situation. If that's, put your head down and put together the presentation with as much details as it is, then that's what you need to do. Start doing it and just focus on the task at hand

instead of the, I'd say be focused on the process instead of the results. Focus on the process, not the results. Yeah, that's a good word. I remember one time somebody told me, and I'd be curious what you think about this from like an athlete's perspective. When I was first starting in leadership or in ministry, I used to get like so concerned about the outcome, right? If the outcome was good, I was happy. If the outcome was bad, it was a failure and subconsciously I might be the reason that it was a failure or I was the one that was wrong. And I remember one time somebody told me Landon, you're not in charge of outcomes. And I remember thinking like, what the heck are you talking about? Of course I'm in charge of outcomes. But what I realized over time is the only thing I can control is my effort. Yeah. The only thing I can control is my effort. At the end of the day, the outcome is the outcome. Right now, if I was lazy, if I didn't work, if I didn't practice, then yeah, the outcome is probably not gonna be the one you're looking for. But I can't obsess over outcomes. Absolutely. And my guess is, is Brandon, you're probably that way too.

Because again, it goes back to kind of what's been the stream of this conversation. If you're focusing on the miss, it's probably gonna carry into your next one too. Absolutely. Right? There's only so many things you can control when it comes to your job. For me, it's really simple. It's kicking the ball. I can't control the snap and the hold. I can't control the protection or the rush. So I can't focus on those things. Just focus on what I need to do to kick the ball. Well, man, thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate it. I hope this has been helpful to you. I really enjoyed having you on here, man. Yeah. Anytime you get asked questions like this, it's a good. Chance to kind of evaluate your own thoughts, so thank you so much for all all the questions I I didn't know a lot of my answers until you know you asked the questions. That's awesome. Well, man I really appreciate you being on this and And do you have any do you have anything to say to the Dallas Cowboy fans before we end this? I forgot to ask that question. This is our year. Let's go Cowboys. There we go, baby Well, thanks everybody for listening to another episode of the Gaining Ground podcast We'll release episodes every other week and as always we hope this has been extremely helpful to you Appreciate you guys so much for more information. You can go to gaining ground men calm You can find helpful podcast content there on anywhere that you listen to podcasts You can also find different gatherings and events that are going on in the Dallas Fort Worth area. Thank you so much

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