Why So Many Men Have No Real Friends | The Aggressive Life with Brian Tome

Dirt works the same thing every year with his freaking dirty disgusting feet. What do you wear on a man camp, Dirt? - Chocos, chocos every year. Chocos sponsor me. Give me some new chocos. - Are they seriously? - No. I'm just asking them to. Come on, chocos. - Dirt, if you get the first legitimate sponsor of-- - Chocos. - I'm gonna be really, really upset. Unless the sponsor is like dove soap or something like that. That makes sense, what do you mean? - I could use some dove soap. - If you get the first legitimate sponsor, shit that'd be really bothersome to me. (upbeat music) - Welcome to the aggressive life. Hey, you're hanging with Dirt today. Just wanna let you know, today we're running an episode that we originally published last year. And the reason we wanna reshare this episode is because it is one of the most listened to episodes of the last year, maybe the most streamed on YouTube. Is it with a famous star? Is it with an athlete? Is it with a titan of writing and culture and thinking? No, it's with two normal guys from New Hampshire,

Matt and Rory, who started driving down to Ohio every year to be part of Man Camp. Matt and Rory found that that weekend changed things for them. And they wanted to bring as many people with them to experience it. They're coming back this year, and Man Camp is just around the corner. It's October 9th through the 11th, mancamp.us is where you can find all the information and where you can register registrations close in the next week. We want you at Man Camp so much so that if you use the code podcast15 at checkout, we'll take off 15% of your registration price. Man Camp is an incredible off the grid weekend with guys, with God, growing together, moving together, learning together, laughing together. It is a fantastic life-changing weekend. It was that for Matt and Rory. We want you to hear their story because we want you to be there too. Be back next week for a brand new episode with Brian's home of The Aggressive Life. Until then, this is how Man Camp builds dangerous men with our good friends from New Hampshire, Matt and Rory. (upbeat music) - Welcome to The Aggressive Life. We are weeks away from Man Camp 2025. It's shaping up to be our largest Man Camp we've ever had that's doing part to some really great people

that are not me. Bear Grylls, don't they, Bo, some other things? It's just good buzz. But Man Camp has been a growing thing for a while and this is called The Aggressive Life. It's not called The Man Camp Podcast, but it's one of the more aggressive moves that I've ever made in my life. Choosing to just take men out in the woods, poop in the woods, push on people spiritually, do something that's totally outside the box that I'd never heard of before. It was 500 people, the very first one in frigid conditions in Indiana and then we went to Kentucky and now we're in Ohio and it's sort of grown a bit every year. And this year is gonna be really good, but maybe one of my favorite, favorite years was when we were so close to having every single state in the United States represented. So we put out a call saying, wow, we're almost there. Hey, if anybody wants to come from these states, we're gonna give you a comp ticket. And what do you know, one of those states was New Hampshire and one guy said, really, the contact is really, really I'm gonna get a free pass like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't. He drove all the way with a buddy. I brought a buddy, yeah, but I'm not paying for that loser. So yes, yes, you can, they drove all the way

from New Hampshire to this thing they had really never heard of before, never been around. Apparently they liked a lot and they've been coming and bringing dudes every year from the New England area, this most recent man camp, hurricane, 22 dudes they brought down. I wanna hear them hear their story, hear what's happening in their life. Their names are Rory Lawrence and Matt Fortin. Welcome to the aggressive life. - What's up, Brian? Thank you so much for having us. We appreciate you guys. - Yeah, super excited to be here. I love this. - Well, it's excited to have you here. Now did you guys have your own podcast thing going on before you ever came to a man camp? - Nope. It was birthed out of the first man camp that we went to. - So go back, dude. Why did you decide to come? You show up and what was different than you expected better, worse than you expected. Does he at least do that? - You want to go first, Matt? - Yeah, I mean, I was basically forced to come. So Rory said, I'm going to do this. You know, I got to get out and camp

and I want to do this back in New Hampshire, right? So this was kind of our Rory's vision of doing something like man camp in New Hampshire and he was like, well, I got no one to come with me. So you're basically coming with me. So he dragged me out by my ear and, you know, we flew down, but we had talked before about doing a podcast and stuff and all that. And, you know, it wasn't until after man camp that we had really had seen the vision for it and everything, so. - You know what it was, Brian? I've seen a video on YouTube and it was the most epic thing I'd ever seen. I never knew about man camp, had no idea nothing. I see this video of this big dude jumping a mini bike off of a ramp into a pond and there's bubbles everywhere and like people are jumping and I'm like, what is this? And so I click on the video, I watched the whole thing and it was a promo that y'all had done for camp. And so I'd seen that and I was like, this is crazy. I've always looked and wanted something like this and I seen that clip and I was like, okay. So I literally, and then like a day later, I think is when they posted something about like, man camp was closed again. Mind you, this is the third time I tried to make it and I didn't make it a lack of preparation. But we, I saw the message about the states and one of them was New Hampshire and I'm like,

I should say something, I should say something. I probably should say something, I really want to get in. So I said something, we grabbed, they gave us a ticket, I bought a ticket for Matt, we, our first year we flew down because I didn't know what we were getting into and I was like, I don't want to drive that far. Well, blah, blah, blah, yada yada yada. - But that's a long ass drive, how long the drive is that? - It's almost, I think it's almost 14, 14 or 15 hours. - Brutal. - So first year was wild. We had high expectations and y'all exceeded it. Exceeded those expectations and as far as what, as far as the program, as far as the vibe, the field. What, what, what, what was it? - Okay, so expectations, you know, just New Hampshire, we grew up, we're always out in the wild, we're always in the woods everywhere up here. So we're always playing the woods. Adventures always been something that's been a big part of our lives, it's always been something's a big part of my life and seeing that and seeing the guys all out in like a war camp setting. You guys are just spreading them all out there in the middle of nowhere, Ohio. And so I was like, man, that looks incredible. And then getting there, seeing it, that exceeded the expectations on like just the fun outdoor adventure stuff, right? - Yeah.

- But then I think there were some other expectations of like, 'cause I don't know about you, but you go to like conferences and stuff like that and you get a lot of hype and then you just kind of go home. And there's nothing substantial, right, man? There's nothing really substantial that you take home. We still talk on a regular basis to our trip captain that we had the first year. - Oh, that's cool. Who was it? Do you remember? - Yeah, I remember his name's Matthew Hyatt. Shout out Matt Hyatt, you're awesome. We love you, dude. He's from Connecticut. He's incredible, dude. He's bringing his own crew again this year. - That's great. That's really great. (laughing) - So the cohesiveness, the fraternity, the stickiness of what you experienced was beyond expectation. - Absolutely, from the adventure to the campfire sessions to just your time building brotherhood, because our lives are so crazy that we don't build friendships anymore as men. It's wild. So just that focus time and then the mash tent, we'll get into that later.

That's wild. But man, just every level of an adventure that you could cover with adventure, with masculinity, with testosterone and meat tubes and everything, just absolutely incredible. The experience that you guys do is unlike anything. It's unlike any other thing that I've ever participated in. - Yeah, I went to, I went to speak at a immense conference recently. It was really, it was really good. We're really thankful to be able to do it. And I am pro anything that's for men in any setting. If a church wants to do it, if church wants to do it in a traditional sanctuary, wherever, anything from anywhere I'm a big fan of, and this was really, really, really solid conference, solid, solid experience. And I also thought as good as it was, there's only so much you can do under a roof in rows. - Right, right. - And people from out of town who are staying in hotels and going back or going to restaurants. There's only so much you can do there, but it really elevates the experience, the multi-sensory all in nature. When you go, no, we're on a property for two nights and like, no, you ain't going anywhere. No, it sits here on whatever number, mother nature throws us, no HVAC, no nothing.

You know, it's comfort-pooping in the woods. - Oh, I like, that's comfort-pooping for me. - You love that. - Oh, I absolutely love it, it's phenomenal. When I take a dump, when I take a dump inside, it's a probably 15-minute ordeal just because I can, and it's enjoyable and no one can bother me. It's probably a 15-minute deal, but there's something about being outside when it just comes out of you in 40 seconds and you're done. That's a beautiful thing. - Just taking a rugged one. - Right, right, because, you know, our larynx, our larynx connects to our intestines eventually, but you know, that when you're squatting down there, you're in the right posture for the teeth where it just to come out immediately instead of being kicked up on a thing. It's wonderful. - Full body flush. - Yeah, it's the way God designed our bodies work, which is why I've had at least two people give me those things that actually go around your toilet. And we'll give you those things. They're like a horseshoe plastic thing that's about foot by your supposed to put around. Therefore, you can put your feet on it and it replicates the position. - The squatty potty. - Yeah, I think that's what it is. - Yeah.

- How do we get on that? - I don't know. - Oh, just the limitations of what a confidence can be. With the greatest speakers, the greatest program, the greatest arts, awesome go, but there's just limitations versus a 24/7 in it and on a thing. - Right, yeah. - So for you guys, where were you faith wise before you came your first man camp? - Yeah, so I had met Rory probably a year before that. I had been away for a little bit, always grew up in New Hampshire and went away for a bit to New Jersey for another job and came back and just didn't really have a home for a church, grown up in the church for a long time, through high school and then kind of, you know, fell away from God a little bit high school college years. And then, you know, met Rory through my sister and just introduced me to him. And then, you know, a year later, we're already doing stuff together, you know, building podcasts and going to man camp and all that. So it's pretty cool to see how fast God can work in your life. - Yeah, my day job is similar to yours, planted a church about seven years ago up here in New Hampshire, my wife and I and been in ministry for about 15 years. Never thought I would ever, ever, ever end up in ministry. I probably would have laughed if somebody told me like, "Hey, you're going to be a pastor one day."

I'd be like, "Dude, you're higher than I am right now. That doesn't make no sense." But yeah, so my wife and I planted a church up here. We've been up here for the last seven years and that's where kind of Matt and I met. But there's always stuff, you know what I mean? Like there's always struggles. There's always different things that you're facing that, you know, I know for us men, we're always looking around to see if there's somebody we can, you know, connect with to be able to grow and sharpen one another. And it's such a thing that's lacking in so many areas and up here in the Northeast where people like, they like to be left alone. - Yeah, right. - They really do. Culturally, they like to be left alone. And, you know, there's a huge need I think for brotherhood. There's a huge need for men to, you know, step up and interact with each other and actually build relationships. And that was a huge thing coming out of man camp that I noticed every single year. It's like, I don't even know how to describe it. It's like rocket fueled testosterone that keeps the relationships that you bond with at camp and it just keeps them going. I mean, we're not hanging out with these guys every single day, but we're still talking. I just still asking for prayers.

Guys are still praying for each other. Like, I think that's one of the most powerful things that comes out of, outside of, you know, the spiritual side of man camp is those relationships that are built up brotherhood most people use January 1st as their ground to you know I'm gonna I'm gonna be better the start of the new year start of the new year you know Rory and I can man camps the start of our year where we're going interesting October October to October yeah that's interesting I like that that's that's an interesting rhythm yeah boy that boy that that that makes me wonder who I might I might have just had an idea for a new session new talk this year because I do a thing with my family yeah every Christmas Eve the story when Jesus says to blind Bartimaeus he says what do you want me to do for you and we do with the family go around like what do you want Jesus to do for you this year if you do so what is it not necessarily your goals right so that's fine too but like what do you want him to do for you and it's interesting to Jesus Jesus asked him that when he's blind as in well duh we you know return his sight to him but but maybe that wasn't his biggest need that he had maybe there's something and maybe Jesus wanted him to say it but it makes me wonder if that might be a little teaching at man camp is to say hey this year talk about around or around the campfire what does he want Jesus to do for you and then every year what we do in our family when we come back together Christmas Eve yeah we open up the file which we haven't looked at for 365 days we review what it is we said we want to do for us and we see with the hit rate and it's a hit rates about about 50 percent of things that happens pretty cool you know those the booklets you guys hand out the did the little guides yeah I'm pretty sure Matt has them all still right yeah yeah so I keep those and every year when the next year's coming around in October I go back through the previous years guide go through it same same exact thing you're talking about Brian and going through it seeing what where where God had the victories you know where the challenges were see if those challenges are still here you know at this at that current time a year later and then it's I mean it's a great way to really track coming out of an experience like man camp to track your progress where you're going and where we made we just made a commitment

after year one like this is the way like literally just this is man camp is the way now what do we do how do we get more guys here because they need to know about this they need to understand and experience this and so we just made that a pact and then every year from the first year out we haven't missed one hurricane was honestly my favorite which is last year why was that your favorite it was different yeah forced a lot of guys out of their comfort zone I think a lot of guys kind of wanted to roll in there and then they had known I mean I think it was all around I think guys just needed to elevate their game a little bit and step up and the when the rain the storms I mean we can get into some of the stories when we were driving up but we had guys in North Carolina that were well I forget where the main of the main town was in North Carolina one of one of our guys in North Carolina it started with an a ashville yes ashville there you go yeah in that town when we're calling and texting and he had to turn around because it was so bad but guys wanted it that bad we had guys driving and texting us updates because they were gonna they were from other states and they were just gonna meet us there and so they're texting us updates like this roads closed that I'm gonna try another one this roads closed that roads closed and then eventually it was just like everything is shut down I can't get there like we had one guy Paul he was trying to get there and he was actually trying to go pick up another guy Terry and pick him up and bring him to man camp and those guys actually got blocked out because of all the storm stuff which was just it was just wild it was wild but I think the reason I think that stands out as my favorite is it it had the limitations of you know whether you can't control it and so that created limitations where we had to adjust you know you're not just having all this free time I feel like everything became extremely more intentional guys were seeking the mashed in a lot more intentional I know the guys in our group were and these are guys that some of them that this is their first experience of faith yes and you were like just radically transformed through it and um guys that you would never expect literally never ever expect and they got there and it was just because I think, internally. That's why it was my favorite. - Yeah, I love that. Now, when you say that people in New England

are more isolated, are they, they're more isolated because that's the way they're planning it or it's just the way that the culture works. They don't wanna be alone, that's what you say. They want to, they want to be alone. So they don't wanna be alone, but they're alone or they really wanna be alone. So they want to be alone. - Kind of, yeah, it's kind of weird. So 43 years young and I did about 10, 11 years down South, 10 years in Texas, but born and raised in New Hampshire came back up here. And I think the differences I noticed coming back up here were just, I think generally they kind of want to be left alone, like they don't wanna be disturbed, they don't wanna be alone. I don't think that's a thing, but they wanna be left alone. It's kind of a cultural thing around here, it's weird. - So does that make any differences in your, in that culture with the suicide rate, the depression rate relative to other places or is it still the same? - Yup, suicide rate, depression rate and the alcohol rate. So we have what's called seasonal depression up here. It's our winter months when it's absolutely freezing, you go outside and your face hurts and then you wonder, you know, why you even live in a place like this. - And then they have liquor stores that are bigger than like the biggest Bass Pro ever and we have them on both sides of the highway

on every exit, it's insane. There's like people are like, what's going on in New Hampshire? We got fireworks, we got, we got liquor everywhere, like, and then winter happens and everybody just goes into like hibernation. - No, true. Okay, so guys are alone, lonely, they want their space but they don't embrace and want all the negative effects that come with it. So a man camp-like experience kind of meets a need, a stated need for the law of dudes have. - It hits a huge one, yeah, for sure. - So you said that's the ticket for you but you also said that you did it as a test run to do your own version of man camp in New Hampshire. So what's the aggressive move for you right now? Are you still gonna do your own man camp version in New Hampshire, are you still building that or is it just to get people to drive 14 hours to the OG man camp? - We're gonna keep trucking. I want to bring a bus to man camp. I want to fill a freaking giant bus and roll down 50 dudes deep or more and show up just in numbers. Because again, sometimes I feel like we look at stuff and we're like, oh, we can replicate that. Maybe, maybe, but not always. - Yeah, there has not been a shortage of people

who've wanted to do their own man camp thing. There have been so, so many and it just doesn't tend to happen for whatever reason because goals are different than thoughts or goals are different than actions. Inspiration is different than the expectation you're going to do it, starting is different than finishing whatever thing you want to do. And they run into a number of things. One is the number of, the amount of manpower you need to pull off a man camp. - Right. - If you just want to have guys, and I say just, it's not just, it's awesome in and of itself. If you want to take dudes out in the woods and camp and have some discussion on the firewood, anyone can do that anytime and that would be awesome. - Yeah, right. - Good, good, period. But when you start saying yeah, and we want to have games and we want to have kick ass worship and we want to have great teaching and we want to have people who are really skilled in prophetic prayer and we want to have some beer there and we want to have devotional thing and we want to have solitude and we want to have stupid humor and we start putting all that stuff together and it starts to take off. That's a lot of manpower, you know?

And then the thing that I find is really, really difficult is the reason why man camp works and this is much of our spiritual life that we don't recognize. Maybe the most under-reported spiritual practice that's been around forever that people don't understand and that is collisions when things collide, when two things shouldn't be together and they collide, that's when spiritual impact happens, like God is one, God is triune, that's a collision, like God is spirit but then God takes on flesh and Jesus, yeah, wait, it's faith and it's works. No, I'm not saying it works, get you to heaven but like there's that interplay, that dynamic is there and man camp is a bunch of collisions that shouldn't go together because they go together. It's like, wait, freaky prayer temp. - Right. - Yeah. - Wait, wait, wait, we're worship alongside someone modeling a point down their pants, how to poop on the stage, just need it with my underwear. - Right, like, wait, that shouldn't go. A call to, you know, turn away from your addictions. - Yeah. - And people have bourbon around the fire. (blows raspberry) A call to be on your own, solitude.

Buy yourself, buy yourself, unplug. Go in the way, buy yourself. And 3,000 dudes sing at the top of their lungs. (blows raspberry) You know, and most of the time, people are skittish with one of those things. I'm skittish with the beers. - Right. - I'm skittish with the freaky prayer, prophetic prayer stuff. I'm skittish with, you know, whatever. And that's, no, that's where the power is. - That's why I love man camp so much is because when I went there, I experienced everyone meeting me where I was at. Didn't matter, you know, my current beliefs, my, you know, what I'm into, if I like beer, if I don't like beer, like, it didn't matter. - Right. - And it was just in, 'cause I love being outdoors, I was met in my element, which most, that's where most guys are, and that's the best part about it. - And at the end of the first year, Matt, Matt got baptized. - Oh, Matt, come on. - Yeah. - That's great. - Yeah. - Well, was there a click that happened around the campfire for you?

Was there, was there a defining spiritual moment for you that first one? He said, okay, that's, I gotta, I gotta take the plunge. - Yeah, I, I had baptized when I was younger. And then it was just kind of the, you know, I hadn't been in a relationship with it kind of fell out of the relationship with Jesus over several years. And then it was just really experiencing the conversation around the fire and then being able to be pushed into the mash tent and just kind of let it all out. Stuff that's inside kind of, you know, spill all the guts out water leaking from the face and all that, you know what I'm talking about. - Yeah. - And so just after that, it was, you know, there was some relief there. And I said, you know, it's time to do this thing and turn my life around. - Oh, that's really good. - Yeah. - Was your people in the prayer tent, Matt, were the, was it just, I mean, was there anything that they were insightful on or was just their presence as a spiritual mature guy that was praying on you? Or what was, what made that, I think I'd use that? - Yeah, for sure, both of them were very spiritually mature, obviously, but I think the biggest part was, it was another man that was actually listening

to my problems and stuff that I was going through. And not even offering a solution, but just walking me through some steps and kind of what, you know, my life would look like if, you know, I had accepted Jesus again and just taking that next step with him. So it was really just the listening part because two, I think too many guys just keep everything inside, you know, and just, you know, I'll figure it out my own way, my own way, but, you know, when I met Rory back in 2021 and I, you know, we started to have a conversations. I was like, okay, you know, this is a real friendship. This is what a real brotherhood, you know, how a real brother is supposed to treat you. And just kind of from that moment on and actually getting, you know, comfortable in a space where I was able to, you know, work through some stuff. And I think most guys are, you know, don't have that space to meet them where they're at, which is kind of what I was talking about earlier, but that's really important. - Yeah, it is. - And what did you guys have the vision for the Dangerous Man podcast? Tell us about that. - That was, and what is a Dangerous Man? What is a Dangerous Man? - What I would say is a Dangerous Man is a man

who is willing to be disciplined in the physical. He's willing to be disciplined in the spiritual. He's willing to be disciplined over protection and providing for and caring for his family. And it's a man who gives up all his regard and serves his king. I would just say that probably in the most plainest words I could. - Yeah. And, you know, we had a wild at heart, John Eldridge, and just kind of how he describes, you know, being dangerous and, you know, wild at heart. And kind of comes from, you know, the whole Jordan people. yeah, being dangerous for good. - No, no, no, just for a little bit of a twist, you know, people don't really understand it at first. - That was the best name because we had a list and the rest of them sucked, so. (laughing) - So, but it kind of gives the, you know, the dangerous man and then people kind of do the head tilt and they're like, I don't really understand it. So it gives a good unique perspective where we can kill some people in on, you know, where our minds at and what a dangerous man is. - Well, John Eldridge was way before Jordan Peterson. John Eldridge is the granddaddy of unique teachings and ministry to men, really. At least granddaddy of who's living, maybe before him and why did, but in some other, I don't know, he's, yeah, he's got some really,

yeah, really, really unique, unique content around that and some really good stuff. We've had him on the podcast before. - Yeah. So your dangerous man podcast, did that, when did you decide to get into that? - Yeah, so we were coming out of year one at Man Count and just the experience again was just, it was very powerful, it was very moving and it was like, okay, well, like, I don't want this to be a secret. I don't want this to become something that like, we just enjoy ourselves, like, no, no, no, this needs to be shared with everyone. So we were on a plane ride back home the first year. Every other year after that, we drove. But the first year we did fly, we cheated. But we were on the plane ride back home and just thinking about the experience, the weekend, everything and we start talking and he says, man, like, we really need to like, find a way to like start getting guys together. We need to find ways to start bringing our men together and kind of having these, you know, these campfire times and having these connection times, which we were doing before just not really with a lot of intention. - Yes. - We were just leaving the time kind of wide open and all that stuff and, but now, I think coming out

of that plane ride, he's like, Matt was like, we really should, we should start doing something like a podcast or something and I'm like, I'll do it, let's do it, let's go, let's do it. - But then I got Volentold Brian, right? 'Cause I said, you know, Rory, you should do a podcast and I got Volentold, you know. - I said I wouldn't do it, I said I wouldn't do it unless he did and he was, he is deathly afraid of being recorded or having a microphone in front of him. - Really? - Yeah, absolutely. - Absolutely. - But you both have such good voices. I'm going, man, I wish I had either one of your voices. - He's sweating profusely right now. Guaranteed. - Yeah, I'll show you after. - He's gotten over it. Over the years, he's definitely gotten over it, but he was like, he was petrified. He's like, I don't, why would I want to talk? I'm like, people need to hear you, they need to hear your voice, they need to hear what you're talking with. 'Cause it's not like some sensational celebrity or something like that. It's just, hey, these are real men talking about real problems, talking about the real issues that men are dealing with. And we're providing every single episode,

we provide like training tips. We say this all the time, Brian, we got a mantra. You need to stop trying and you need to start training. That's a big thing with our show. And it's the same with your spiritual life, your physical life, your mental life, all of that stuff. So many guys I know die on the hill of trying. Training is the thing that erases all of that. And it develops you to a point where you can now be consistent and actually produce results and actually achieve and become the man that got initially and originally designed you to be. So yeah, it came out of that plane ride. We were talking crazy. All the people on the plane were looking at us as we were yelling because we don't know how to be quiet. We're like two little 10 year olds just so excited. I can't wait to do that. Like, let's start it. Let's get episodes gone. It was a really cool experience because you come out of, you know, man camping, you're away from your phone, right? You don't have your phone. Any outside contact, that's the best part. And, you know, you start to feel grounded again. And then you kind of come into the real world again, you know, reality and you start hearing all the noise and the buzz and everything. And it was cool on the plane because we didn't care.

We just like let the outside noise. And we were just focused on us and what, you know, we wanted to do and we wanted to accomplish. - What's an easy entry? The best episode to start somebody with if they're gonna do the dangerous man, like, but one. Find the one where we talk blank. Find the title of this. I give, I'm making it easier for someone to listen. Like, what's a winner from the start with? - I think my favorite would probably be just easy way to start with the dangerous man code. - Dangerous man code. - Code. - All right. No one tries real hard to complete a triathlon or a marathon Yeah, you only complete it if you're training for it right So what does that mean as far as there are things that we're doing? What's what's what are some training mechanisms someone would do if They want to have rich full friendships? What are some training mechanisms someone would do if they want to have a vibrant communication? Life with God. What's some training mechanisms? They would do if they want to have an intimate relationship with a woman those kind of things What's what take us along? Well, let's start with the Brotherhood one. Yeah, start with that one. I think step one come camp with us at man camp Yes, step two. I would say is like just go finds it is not hard to make a connection man to man Find something he likes that he does or something you do. It's really easy. Hey, you want to go? Hey, I got this broken lawnmower. You want to help me fix it like got guys? I think are so nervous about making like adult friends. I don't know why we do that, but I Think it's it's an easy step to avoid just put yourself out there and just say hey, man You want to go grab beer? You don't even have to know the guy like literally guys can make friends on the spot We're actually really good at it. We just don't do it

So I think brotherhood, you know the easiest tactical step that I would say is just make a connection with one guy Give yourself a couple of days ask a couple of guys and then lock it in and just go do something And that's as much of training because you're doing something as it is putting on your gym She's the first time taking a few steps to take a mile run. Yeah, you just you just you're just training You're you're not just trying attempting it. You're there's a thing. I've I've got to do here. That's a trainer So that's that's a big thing with us too because like I like a lot of podcasts I listening you the aggressive life I listen to a bunch of different podcasts and and one of the commonalities that I noticed like man You missed an opportunity there not on your show because you do it a lot But some of the other shows I listen to is like you missed an opportunity to give them something to do Like men we want something to do Like put us to work if you don't want to get to work We're only really questioning if you're a man or not But you need to be wanting to work guys that we want to build something and that comes that starts with ourselves too We're building ourselves and so when you're building brotherhood you're taking those steps like we we're constantly putting that out there for people Here's simple easy steps simple easy steps that you can do to build brotherhood simple easy steps You can do to train and develop your spiritual life simple easy steps You can do to mentally toughen up your little softness that you got and you can't and I'm not talking like just to be a brood Either I'm talking about you know knowing that when a storm rages in your life You know who's got you when when you know when divorce heads your way and You're staring down the barrel of it Do you have brothers that'll hold you up when you can't hold yourself up? Like there's so many things that guys are trying to fight alone and literally one of the major things You know this is brotherhood changes all of that It changes it. Yes, because you have connection and and I just stress this one Make sure they're they're guys that can speak life into you Make sure they're guys that are you know they don't have to believe every single thing you believe like that's we can agree to disagree on Things but make sure there are guys that are for you Guys that are encouraging you those guys are out there. They're all over the place Okay, what's another area? We're training training

plays out in a concrete way Yeah, I mean I think at the the end of the day It's the whole trying part of it because I don't I don't think I think a lot of guys know what they need to do It's just they're not Putting in the the time and the effort or putting at the forefront. It's really just a priority shift of You know this is most important. So use your you know marriage as an example like I need You know, I or I want a better marriage. That's what you know most guys say And then they sit on their duff and they don't do anything about yes, then they come home They throw on the TV that's they say what's for dinner and then they say okay. Good night. I love you And then it's just on repeat. Yeah So it's just the just intentional time With with what you're doing and reshifting your priorities in order to say, you know what? I'm done trying that way because it was priority number seven Let's move it up to number one or two and let's start training this thing and that's a huge takes the lenses off of you and it allows you to look at yourself in a way where you're like, like, if you're paying attention and you're engaged, you're going to be able to look at yourself in a way where you're going to go, man, I got, I got some stuff to do. I really, I have some stuff to work on in me. And the cool thing is camp provides, man can't provide an avenue where you can go to work on yourself when it's, you know, whether that's spiritually or physically, if you want to push yourself through the obstacle courses, you know, or you want to walk, you know, 42 miles back and forth through nothing but mud, like whatever you want to do, like it provides those avenues. And then spiritually, it provides an avenue where you can start your training, right? You can start your training. And like Matt was saying earlier, like we run October to October now, just because it's, it's almost like you come out of man camp and it's, it's, all right, this is, this is marching orders. I've done some work physically. I've done some work brotherhood wise.

I've done work spiritually. And now I'm coming out of here with a game plan or at least the first parts of it. You know what I mean? Yes. And it's such an equipping tool to be able to kind of just send you out to do whatever it is that God has put on your heart, whatever God's place on you, whatever is, is burning in your heart or maybe it's not burning in your heart, maybe it's burning in your gut. Who knows? But it's, it's a send off and it's, it's such a good moment, you know, because it disconnected in your strength and your, but you're connected to brothers, to other men to be able to sharpen. I think part of why an experience like man camp can be so transfer, transformational is, you can't afford the energy to present the preferred version of you. You know, all of us as men all day long, every day, there's a certain amount of energy we expend, what clothes am I going to wear today? What am I going to say? What am I going to say? What am I going to put in that email today? How shall I respond in this, in this interview or in this, this presentation or where they think of me? How do I manage my thing? You're, we're, we're managing expect, it's part of that you have to do, right? But we're managing our, our image and managing everything. And when you come in a man camp or thing like man camp, you're already spending so much energy on the hiking in, getting your gear set up, walking to the thing, getting the food, doing the games or the, that you, you can't afford the energy of, and you don't. It just doesn't naturally even happen of how am I being perceived right now? How are people seeing you? You know, because everyone's dirty, everyone's in the same clothes, everyone looks the same. You don't know who's a CEO and who's on welfare right now. You don't, you don't know any of that.

And therefore you're not, you're not playing any games the same old bullshit that you do happen in your normal day to day life. And I think that's where spiritual transformation can happen. And it unmasks you. Exactly what you're saying, it unmasks you. And you really, like, I remember our first year, I remember every year after that, you don't want to. You get there and someone, somebody else already has their mask off. And they're already dumping it on the table and you're like, Oh, we're going here? Yeah. Yeah. We're going here. Yeah. Right. Yeah. There always is one sacrificial lamb that goes forward. Sorry. You're going. Oh, you, man, man, man. You should just, and one guy's normally getting turned on. Oh, hey, boy, you got to burn a mouth. Oh, the trash talking at me. Yeah. It's the best. Yeah. It's so fun. There is what? No, there's, um, you know, there's one person who who lays it down and opens up and everyone's going, Oh, it's why I say sacrificial lamb as in they get slaughtered. But no, they're, they're the first one to make the bold move.

And as you said, Rory, it's, Oh, oh, I, he said it. I guess I can say my thing and, and magic happens every year, yeah, every year around the campfires, you watch the dominoes fall every year. And that first guy goes and then it's just, yeah, and that was the best part about our first year was our leader, Matt, and the vulnerability that he had on the first campfire session, because that's what sets the tone is the leader of the camp. And by opening up and saying, Hey, this is, uh, this is what I went through. And then you just, like Rory said, dominoes just start falling and, uh, you see God show up. Let's do a little brief lightning round for everybody, because you guys are now gurus coming from wherever real quick, real, real, real simple, right thing you're looking most forward to at man camp this year. I got to get down the water slide. Uh, I didn't do it. you're already wet. I still did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On a boogie board. All right. That's good one. Essential gear that you have to pack. Definitely extra close and make sure they're dry, but not too much because you don't want because I end up going 50 pounds every year. So it's got to be under 40 at least 50 pounds. For that meeting man. Right. That's my wife. I have problems packing for two day vacations. I'll pack for a week. Are you guys doing the whole guys? Guys have really had the hack of bringing the big old landscaping wagons. You guys doing that? No, we thought about a couple guys bring in the toys packs like the big tents and everything, but you know, but you'll see, we'll put our flags out. You'll see our fly or dangerous man flags. I love it. Essential gear foot gear. Essential gear foot gear. Yeah. Yeah. And that would be defined as what? I would say not a not necessarily hiking boot, but like an in between. Yeah. And make sure you're warm. What do they call them? Stupid things. Not cross trainers. Crocs. Those are where great last year. Yeah, that would have been. Yeah. What about dirt? Dirt dirt. We're the same thing every year with this freaking during disgusting feet. What do you want? A man can't dirt. Choco's. Choco's every year. Choco sponsor me. Give me sooner. Choco's. Are they seriously? No, I'm just asking them to come on. Choco's there. If you get if you get the first legitimate sponsor

of Choco's, I'm going to be really, really upset unless unless the sponsor is like dove soap or something like that. That means I could use some dove soap. If you get the first legitimate sponsor, I'd be really bothersome to me. But I'd be happy for you because you make less money than me, so you deserve that. So I can take some time. And I'm committed to always make more money than you, by the way. As long as you work for me. Yeah. That's good. I would say one more thing, a small thing of whiskey if the beer runs out because you never know. Did beer run out last year? I don't know. It's just a lot of people want that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what I find interesting is there's always a line at the beer trailer at the beginning, but then the line is at the prayer tent at the end. At the end, yeah. Right. And there's no line at the beer trailer, but it becomes not that big of a deal. Yeah. That's always an interesting observation for me. So anything that you guys want to talk about that we haven't talked about? Um, how about the, uh, so match 10 for those of you guys who have, or you're listening to this podcast, you had never been. I'd really challenge you to go. But if that's something that like kind of, because we had some guys that we took last year and they were kind of like, what do you, what do you mean, the prayer tent? What are you, what are you talking about? What is that? Like you just walk in there and prayers are everywhere. We're like, no, no, no, like, and so we kind of didn't unpack it for our guys a little bit intentionally. Cause we're like, listen, it's just the time where you go in, you talk to a couple guys and they're going to pray for you. So we give them the simplest version ever on purpose. Because it's a, probably one of the most powerful and profound things that I think is what makes man camp so unique. Um, all the other stuff that you guys do, absolutely incredible. Right. But that prayer tent is a place where I think I've seen more men freed from things that they never thought possible to be broken from. I've seen them walk out of that tent, broken from it, and never turned back. And that it's God. Oh, it's only Jesus. And it's something that is just, it's so unique. And don't, if you're like, what is this? It's weird. It's hocus pocus. No, guys, trust me. It is not. It is you interacting with your creator in such a way and you're having brothers that are taking the time to listen to you, to hear your heart and to stand with you in your wounds and help you move into healing. That, that doesn't happen in most men's life. I know people who've been to man camp two, three times and have never gone to the

mash tent. Never gone. Right. Right. And fear. Yes. Yes, it is. It is fear. It is. What else would it be? You have the time we talk about a lot of time. You don't know it. Yeah, I think it's fear. I think I don't know what it is. It's going on for them. I'm one of the guys. I'm a couple of guys. I'm talking about, I know fairly darn well for a long period of time. But my thing I say is, man, do the thing. My gosh, you got off the grid. You're doing stuff you. You know, like if I go to, if I go to a country, I went to Germany a couple of times and there was a site where Martin Luther, not Martin Luther King, Martin Luther King got renamed after Martin Luther, who was the lead of the Protestant Reformation, actually Martin Luther King Jr.'s father when he found out the story about Martin Luther, he came home and changed his name and named the son Martin Luther King Jr. because he was so inspired by it. Well, there's a stone that he laid on and it just kind of put his arms out as a sign of "I am in." He was very, very zealous. I said, "That's a stone. I'm going to do that." So, I'm either me. I'm the only one or our group lying on his face on a stone in a public place. I'm like, "That's the thing that happened here. That was a big deal." I'm saying, "Hey, man, if you're in a man camp experience, I do the thing. I go to the main sessions. Don't just sit down and listen to it because the loudspeakers are loud enough if you can hang out by your campfire. If there's a prayer, just go do the thing." I think there is fear and I just encourage people like, "They're there. Just push yourself. Allow it to happen." Yeah. We definitely push our guys, I mean, not to the scent of forcing, but we'll go right up to the line. We'll go right up to the line. We'll be like, because we have guys that kind of leg back, "I don't really want to do it. It's kind of, you know, weirding me out." All right, cool. Let's have a conversation. Let's talk about it. Most of those guys, though, I mean, obviously we're coming 14 hours away. If you waste this weekend, I promise I probably won't invite you back next year. You waste a lot of time, right? Yeah. Yeah, but you look at it, right? You're out in the middle of America. No cell phones, no service, whatever, with other dudes. What's the worst that's going to happen? No one's going to find out. Nobody's going to know. That was my whole thing when I first went in. I was like, "Hey, I got, you know what? I got nothing to lose. Let's just go for it."

Yeah. So, let's have a couple of advertisements here. One is, if you use the code podcast 15, we'll get you 15% off of Madam Camp. Go mancamp.us and do podcast 15. That's a little code for you. So, filming you something right there. And guys, if someone wants to follow up with you, where do they go? Where do they find dangerous man podcasts or give yourselves an advertisement here? Yeah, you can go to dangerousmanpodcast.com and find our website. It has links to all of our shows. You can get us on Spotify, Apple, and any others podcast app that you listen to your shows on, but easiest ways website and then all your socials and all that stuff that we'll link in the show notes. So, there you go. Mancamp.us. We would love to have you. We'd love to have you with me, with Rory and Matt and Bear Grylls and Daunte Bo and got another good surprise. Probably, let's start talking about my good buddy Jim Bergen from Flatiron's Church in Colorado. Do you guys know Jim or him? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good dude. He's going to be with us and a lot of other good surprises. Hey, hey, hey, it's called the aggressive life because we want you to do something, not just think something, not just feel something, but actually do something. This is a great way for you to train in your life, to put yourself in a bootcamp environment, to put yourself under somebody's personal training, to put yourself in a scenario where someone is planned a growth track for you in your life. I promise you, if you come to Mancamp, I can't promise you, you're going to leave a better, different, better version of yourself, but I can't promise you this. I can't promise you you have a higher likelihood of that happening at Mancamp that weekend than any place else on God's green earth. The greatest immersion experience exists for you that weekend is in Felicity, Ohio, and it has a greater shot of getting you to God than I think anything else that you could expose yourself to all weekend long, anywhere else on God's green earth, and there's a lot of people who are going to meet God someplace else on the God's green earth, but if you want to choose to opt into something, I think it's your best shot to have a true taste of God and to see how he turbocharges you and just brings you into a loving, abiding, powerful, strong, dangerous relationship with them. Any last thoughts from you guys? Absa freaking Lutely. Let's freaking go. LFG. Guys, if you're even on the fence, this is the last thing I'll say. If you're on the fence, If you're on a fence, that means your nuts are on the fence. You're not working yourself. Knock it off, get off the fence, get signed up,

and do something with your life. Come on! - I'm glad you said do something with your nuts. I thought you were gonna say this. - No. (laughing) - That's the best. I've never thought about being on the fence. - If you're on the fence, you're racking yourself. - Yeah, right. It's not just that you haven't figured out what territory we want to be on, but it's very uncomfortable being there. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, all right. Hey, we'll see you next time on The Aggressive Life. - Thank you guys. (upbeat music) - Thanks for joining us on this journey toward aggressive living. Find more resources, articles, past episodes, and more at brontome.com. My new book, A 60 Day Devotional Called, The Five Marks for Man, 60 Days to a Powerful Life, along with all the other books in The Five Marks Library are open right now on Amazon. Be sure to leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to your podcast, then send an email to dirt.

That's [email protected] to get a free aggressive life sticker. Find more on Instagram @brontome. The Aggressive Life's Abduction of Crossroads Church since San Antonio, Ohio. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) You You