Why Does God Bless Others Instead of You? | #051 | Unlearned Wisdom

In this episode, we're going to be talking about how to tell if God is saying, wait or no, why sometimes God feels silent and also why people get blessed over you or why you feel like sometimes people receive blessings that you've been praying for. And towards the end, we're going to talk about how to remain hopeful even in all of the silence and the patience and the waiting for God. I also have some questions I want to ask you about when you crashed out. So we're saving that to the end. Welcome back to another episode on the Unlearned Wisdom Podcast with yours truly Johnny Chang. And this is episode 51. We're going to talk about delays and waiting, waiting on God, delays with God, all of that. Let's begin. Each episode is a, God's each episode is a gospel centered lesson that you could apply to your life today. Hey, you, why don't you ever introduce yourself as pastor Johnny Chang? My name because I'm not greater than all this guy. So humble. I'm the humble man. So hungry. Wow. Just kidding. All right. So what do you guys want to talk about? I'm just kidding. Okay. There was a time where I was starting Bible class. This was before all of you guys. This was the time of book Johnny Chang. This was before caught a hot. This was before it was no script fellowship days. If you guys know, liking comment, you guys know, who's the OG no script fellowship people. Anyways, no script fellowship. I started my own Bible class because you guys were asking me, yo, you literally break down the Bible. That was when I had 30 to 70 people in my, in my Instagram live. And I only went on Instagram live. It didn't go on YouTube. It didn't go anywhere else. And you guys would ask crazy questions. I give you guys unlocks like I normally do. And you guys were like, Oh,

let's start a Bible study. And I was like, all right. So we coined it Bible study at first. And the first thing I thought was, should I talk like the gospels? Should I start with, you know, the tough books? And then pastor Kim was like, Oh, you know, you should start with Genesis and go all the way to revelation. I was like, genius. So I'm expecting him to give me all of his notes for some reason. I'm like, all right, I came to you. Obviously I've never taught from Genesis to revelations truly. Like I know about it, but like, help me out here, you know? And then pastor Kim straight up was like, no, like start a Bible class, but I'm not going to give you any of my notes. He's like, he even like wrote down on the thing. He's savage. He wrote down his name on the, on one of his notes. And he's like, do you see what this is? And I was like, no. And he's like, that's my name in Korean. That means he's Hermione notes. Bro's trolling me. He's like, so this is mine. He's like, so you're going to have to make your own. And at that time I was, I did feel a little salty. Cause I was like, okay. Cause first I became very offended. Cause I was like, why, why wouldn't you help me? I'm trying to teach other people the gospel. You told me to teach the gospel. Secondly, I was scared. I was like, dude, I literally started this Bible class off of the cold tail that I could take your notes and just preach it to them. So like, I wouldn't have, you know, have to come up with my own thinking and whatever. So now I'm locked into this, like not this verbal contract with my people. Right. And I'm like, dude, I got to preach the gospel and I don't know how to like teach from Genesis. So I just prayed about it. And pastor was like, you have to pray about it. You have to lean on God and God is going to work. So when I prayed,

I was praying till the very end to have God change pastor Kim's heart to give me his notes. Please make pastor Kim, give me his notes or pastor John. Pastor John works pretty well too. So then I went through all these other people. I went to pastor John, pastor John was like, bro, if pastor Kim says it, I can't help you with that. I was like, cool. Then I went around pastor John and pastor Kim. And I went to pastor James and pastor James was like, uh, you know, respectfully, I don't share my notes with anybody. He has 500 plus PowerPoints on like all kinds of things. And I'm like, bro, like hook a brother up. He's like, I'm sorry. And they all told me do it by faith. And honestly, it was during that time that I was like praying to God. And I was like, where are the answers? Cause you're literally closing every door and going, no, no, no, no, no, all this. And I'm like, dang, but I don't feel like I'm qualified to teach. Yes, I'm a minister, but like, and I teach the prisoners, but I teach more of like real world stuff. I don't go straight to exegesis of the Bible. And I was like, dang. So at that time I was like, all right, God, I know it's not me preaching the gospel. I know you had mentioned that in Moses is, you know, uh, experience, you fill his mouth, your word never returns void. So by the Holy spirit, I'm just going to really start studying, looking back. And I realized how much notes I actually took. Like I looked back at my actual notes all in my Bible. And I was like, dang, almost every verse in Genesis. Cause originally I was going to just do the most important verses of Genesis and then move on. so I could speed through it. But then I had a heart to be like, you know what?

If I have all these notes, like let's say there's 20 verses, 18 of them are like annotated. I'm like, I'm just gonna do verse by verse Bible class. And so I just started and everyone was loving it. They were just like, oh my gosh. And we started with like seven people. So does Pastor Kim, when he would normally teach a Bible class, it's not like you? So, okay, okay. So you came up with verse by verse. Yeah, he doesn't go verse by verse. He goes verses by verses. So he'll connect, he's made scripture. So he goes, okay, in John, and then it talks about in Galatians and it comes back to Genesis and then Exodus. Like he goes back and forth. Me, I was like, nah, we're going verse by verse and we're gonna tie it all in because God's meticulous. He's not gonna just put something in the Bible and be like, yeah, whatever. I'm just gonna fill this like empty space. Every single line he has is about Jesus and it ties into the prophecy some way, shape or form. And so through doing that, I had to wake up in the morning and the first thing I would pray, my prayer changed, my mind changed, everything changed to be like, how do I serve these people with the word of God?

Because now you have this thing where it's like, I'm nurturing people for the first time and I'm going, dang, like I'm discipling them. So this isn't a joke. And so I realized during that time, I was leveling up crazy on my spiritual life because I was seeking God every single day, every single moment, not just for church related stuff that I could hide behind the pastor, but now I had to step out like a minister and have actual like repercussions if I mess up. And James chapter three hit me. It was like, be not many teachers because they get the greater condemnation. The teacher gets a greater condemnation. So I'm like, sheesh, all right, God, you gotta help me. And from then on, it is what it is now. We're in numbers and it's like super amazing, super deep. Everyone loves the Bible classes. And even if I do 30 minutes free, they're getting crazy unlocks just from the 30 minutes free. People don't even sign up. They'll just jump on the 30 minute free one. And like, dang, like I got my food for this Sunday or this Saturday. How did you know that it was God helping you and how quickly did it happen? Because I think a lot of times when people pray to God, there's a timeline on it.

They want it on their own time. So it took, when I prayed, it was really almost like, not instantaneous, but it took like maybe two weeks because I prayed on it for like two weeks and then I started. What does it feel like when God is talking to you? It doesn't feel like anything. It's more of just the fruit. Like you start to see what other people are saying, not what you're feeling. So like, I wanna, I know you guys know, I teach feelings are like deceitful. So I don't go off of feelings. Just because something feels holy doesn't mean that it is, right? And so I was like, okay, aside from all the euphoria, aside from all the dopamine and serotonin, what are these people saying and are they changing? And I realized just after one Bible class, people's minds were like flipped and were like, oh my gosh, I see that Genesis is about the world of the heart. It's about Jesus being there in Genesis chapter one. I've read the Bible X amount of times. I've never seen it this way. And like, it wasn't forced. It wasn't like, hey, everyone agree with me. They were literally changing. And then I started to see people grow because I didn't have any, honestly,

before like core of the heart, I had no goals. My goal was just to preach the gospel. I didn't care if there was 10 people in the Bible class or 10,000 people, it didn't matter to me, right? Now we have like more than like 900 people. It's kind of crazy, but it started with seven people. And then the next, I noticed every single week, there would be more and more and more and more. And I'm just like, dang, like, this is kind of crazy. It's like catching fire. And it would just jump 100 people, 200 people. And I didn't feel anything. I wasn't like, wow, I have 400 people. Even today, I'm not like, oh my gosh, there's 900. I'm just more like, I've always stayed the same with my feelings, whether there's people there or they dip or they don't. Some people stay for like six months and then dip out. Some people stay for six days and dip out. I mean, it doesn't matter. To me, it's more of like, do people walk away changed? And that's how you know it's God answered. And he did, because if he didn't like the Bible class, he probably would have shut it down. He probably would have made it complicated and difficult. All it needs is a Zoom and an internet connection. And people were able to just join. And again, this was before you guys set up any platforms for me to pay walls and ACH and all that. There was none of that.

It was just Venmo, Cash App, just straight gangster. I was hustling Bible class like, yo, you guys want some freaking Genesis chapter 2? I got Genesis chapter 3 next week. It was literally like that. And people were just jumping in. And they loved it. And what's crazy was, it was way more expensive during that time. Like, it was like $20 each class. So four weeks, $80. No hangout session, by the way. Just straight Bible class. And they were- So should we jump the price? Yeah. and we're obviously super cheap now, but it's like back then it was that. It was one price and it was every week and people were lining up and people were just like, like and I was navigating, I was helping them and I was like, dang, I can't do this alone because there's some people who are just like, where's the unmute button? You know, bring me my ginger ale. You know, it's like, it was difficult, but from that I learned and I'm like, okay God, there's trials and tribulations with this, but there's just, it's not scalable to that point. But even then, I think by myself,

I had 400 people, like 300 people, something like that, right? Something crazy like that. And it was amazing, so yeah. It's crazy. You're not mind blown by it, but I'm mind blown by it. Yeah. It's crazy. And like when you see these numbers online, sometimes it feels kind of fake sometimes, just certain, just anyone online, you see a bunch of numbers or it's hard to conceptualize, but when you're in the Zoom and you see hundreds of people with their cameras on, you're like, wow, there really is hundreds of people here right now. You don't really notice or see that on typical live streaming apps, but it is crazy to see. It's different to see a face because like, we'll go on TikTok and there'll be 2.6 thousand people and then like 1,000, 1,200 on YouTube and like collectively there's 5,000 people, which is still nuts, but you don't see faces, right? So you're like, oh, it's just a number, 2.5, 1. And then, but when you go in the Zoom, you're right. It's like every single person is cammed up and you're just like, oh, that's how you look. Okay, you're always commenting, but that's how you, okay. And it's like kind of amazing. And I have to watch them to see if they're paying attention.

So it's kind of wild. That's a genius little UI hack that any of the live streaming platforms should do where the creator can see on another screen their faces if their audience turns it on. Dude. That's a genius. You can see them laughing or reacting. The chat should just be able to have like cams on. Cams on, yeah. Because like I changed the mode from like spotlight to gallery and there's just seven, eight pages of people with cameras on, which is crazy. Figurative facts, it's crazy. Wait, okay, so just to summarize it, you say, you know, it's God speaking if it's working, but then it's still that precursor. It's like, should I do it, right? A Bible class, no offense. Obviously you should do it because it helps God. What about somebody who it's the decision is not necessarily, like a lot of times you say, God cares about it most that you preach the gospel, but that doesn't necessarily mean everyone become pastors. Right, so, and maybe the decision isn't so specific. Like what job should I do, right? But when the decision is a little bit more blurry, how, like, it's not just do it. Is it really just do it and see how it ends up? Well, the goal of everything is dependency, right?

So like God works in formation. So he's gonna form you to then depend on him. So whatever it is that you're doing, whatever decision you make, as long as it makes you depend on God, it's okay. Like Bible class, for example, I had to depend on God. I couldn't just pull it out and be like, this is what it means. Cause there's repercussions to that, right? So I'm like, God, I don't know what it means. So I'd wake up in the morning and people in my Bible class, know every time I do a Bible class before I start, I read the chapter five times. Like I just read it over five times, every single chapter, whether it's numbers 28, whether it's 48 verses, whether it's 56 verses, whether it's 20 verses, I read it five times. Cause I know right through wisdom that five represents grace and I know by the fifth time you read something, there's gonna be something that like, it's different than reading it the first time. This is with everything, regardless of the Bible of anything else. If you read something five times, it's better than reading it one time, right? So start to retain information. I started to grow, but I had to learn even that thing. Like, dang, do you want me to do the Bible class? No answer, right? Okay, and when I'm doing the Bible class,

am I doing it right? No answer, no answer whatsoever. But God is like, I don't need to answer because just cause you don't see me answering you, like as you keep moving forward, you're gonna gain something out of it. Whether it's the answer of, no, you shouldn't be doing this. Whether it's, okay, you're doing it wrong, but if you tweak this, it'll get better. Like I had to learn that whatever I'm doing, at the end of it, you're gonna gain something out of it. And that's why I said, it's either a lesson or a blessing. Nine times out of 10, it's a lesson. And then, you know, sometimes it's a blessing or it's both. The lesson is the blessing, it depends. But basically like to answer your question, it's not about, again, if or, you know, if I do this, if I do this, it's go ahead and do it. If God doesn't like it, you have to have faith that he's gonna stop you, he's gonna close a door, he's gonna do that, right? How do I know if God is saying wait or no or keep going? So very simply, if a door keeps closing repeatedly, you apply for a job, let's say, and then it keeps on like, okay, you get rejected here, rejected here, rejected here. Like, let's say I wanna be- Front desk at Walmart. Yeah, front desk, let's just say like an assistant. And you keep wanting to apply to this specific job

as an assistant, and it keeps closing. out of 10, that's going to be God saying no. But what people don't realize is when you're asking this question, when do I know if God is saying wait or no? They ask this not because they're afraid of the wait or the no. They're afraid of, I don't want to do something and waste my time. That's the number one core issue. But that's what I just addressed earlier. You're never wasting your time technically. Like even if you do something, you're going to learn something from that, right? So all we ask and what we're told to is move forward because when you move forward without having all of these distractions in your face or having these answers, then you start to shift from transactional mindset to going, dang, I need to depend on God. I legit have to depend on God for every single thing. So just move forward and be like, all right, what is it? You know, is God going to show me this? Is he going to show me that? That's number one. Now, how to know if it's a no? Again, he keeps on closing the door. But again, when God closes one door, he always opens another door. When God subtracts something, he always does it and then multiplies it. If you look at the story of Job, if you look at Jesus, like Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane and he prayed for God to remove the cup of wrath according to his will. And God didn't even answer him. He didn't say yes. He didn't say no. He just didn't answer him. So even these things happen where Jesus had to go through it. Job had to go through it. We are definitely going to have to go through it. But that's the whole point is when you go through it, you grow through it, right? So you're never going to go through something and not learn something. That's really, really important. Now, how to know if God is saying wait, right? It's very simple. When you sit there and you have this sense of desire to do something and you have this sense of urgency to do something, you'll know when God says wait is when your desire is still there, but your urgency gets removed. So I'll give you an example. If a person is sitting there like, I want to be a doctor, right? And they fail an exam, but their heart is, no, I'm still set on wanting to be a doctor. And no matter how much they fail, there's this heart that like, my calling is to be a doctor, let's say. Then that is God just shifting you and forming you and molding you because he's closing the certain doors to kind of like build you up, right? He can't give you a certain blessing that you can't handle at that point in time. So he's going to mold you and open your heart a little bit so you can carry this type of blessing. So waiting is very simple. It's if God is telling you to wait, it's because, you know, he's going to give you this desire of, I want that

still, but you won't have that urgency anymore. And then you'll start to actually lean on God. Okay, if this isn't for me right now, that's not a problem. That's when, you know, you've entered into waiting. Now, a lot of people have gone through that, myself included, where I sat there and I was like, okay, I don't want to do the Bible class. I feel like it's Pastor Kim just shut the door. So maybe during that Bible class, God is saying to Pastor Kim, don't start your Bible class. But that's not what he said, because there was still this itching in my heart to be like, I want to steward people and disciple them, because the Bible says make disciples of many nations. Pastor Kim is not giving me the notes. Ah, God was basically saying, Johnny, wait, don't lean on even your own teacher, lean on me. And so when I leaned on him and prayed and all that, all these unlocks started to come to the point where even Pastor Kim is like, good job with that unlock, like that's deep. Pastor John's like, dude, that's deep. Other pastors in our mission, even in the Bible class, they're like, dude, how come this pastor, that pastor doesn't preach like you? They're all from the same mission. Well, it's because I've learned 100% to study and lean on God 1000% because of it. If you love biblical lessons like this, then you would love my weekly Bible class. Bible class brings clarity, community, and consistency. There are a lot of us who read the Bible, but we don't know how to apply that to our lives. Consistency also, a lot of you guys want to read the Bible and you don't know where to start, how to start. And therefore it kind of discourages you guys to read the Bible. So every week on Saturdays at 10 AM Pacific standard time, we go through one chapter and we break down every single verse and apply those verses to your life. And after the Bible class, we also do a group mentor session where it's, you can ask me customized questions and anything about the class and anything about your own life. If this sounds interesting to you, you guys can check the link in the bio and use code wisdom to get 50% off your first month. See you guys this Saturday at 10 AM Pacific standard time. Why, why again, you may have said, but why don't they share their notes? Like, why is it? Why? Because multiple pastors wouldn't. So it's more of like, they saw my heart posture, which was true. It was like, I don't want to go and do the research. I don't want to go in like, I don't have the confidence. I don't have faith in God. Essentially. I want to like be an immaculate Bible class. which in itself is not bad, but that's very transactional. It's like saying, like they'd rather me mess up and move by faith than not move by faith

and have this perfect Bible class. That's not what the goal is, but I couldn't see that my mindset was the goal is to make perfect disciples and perfect, it's like, but who's the perfect disciple? There is no perfect disciple. Everyone had a blemish. God had to go through certain things. Jesus had to fight people. There was 70 disciples that then brought it down to 12 because they felt like he was too harsh and they left him, so it's like these things even Jesus has to go through, but I'm over here thinking like arrogantly like I'm gonna avoid all these things and I'm gonna find loopholes and I'm gonna be the best gospel preacher. The best gospel preacher is not a person who has everything down pat. The best gospel preacher is even though they don't have everything down pat, they trust and believe and lean on God to make sure and clean up all of the stuff, and that's what I had to learn. I wanted, because I'm a perfectionist, and God was like, Johnny, you cannot be a perfectionist when it comes to Bible class because then they're gonna lean on you and not me, and that was the thing that he taught me was like you need to learn that,

and so I'm thankful to all the pastors that didn't share their notes. That was like, they were literally propelling me to only lean on God. Wow, right. Well, so do people in your Bible class ask you for notes now? They do, they do, but actually it's not even that. They take all of my notes, right? Whether it's our Bible class, you guys see it. Whether it's after service, they're literally like taking hell of notes. People send me- And then making videos and scripts. Making videos and scripts, screenshots of like just Dollar Tree is making buku money off of us, man. Like they're literally buying all of these notepads and like, oh, this is my seventh notebook filled with notes, and I'm like, what the heck? Like, that's crazy, so shout out to y'all if you guys are taking notes and stuff. When do you think it's overkill and they're taking too many notes and they should just lean on faith? I think, such a good question. If you're sitting there and you're relying on the notes rather than the hearing of the word, then it becomes a problem. Like, I would say take main points.

Main points, take your notes, but some people write every single thing and they even tell us in the Bible, can you stop, let me like write it all, and I'm like, here, look, it's recorded, let's move forward, but it's when they start to be like, these notes are like, you know, I need to know every intricate detail. That's when you're like, no, you don't, because you don't know every intricate detail of the Bible and yet you still call yourself a Christian. So in the same way, it's not about knowing every intricate detail. In fact, if you know every intricate detail, then you won't, I would say you don't lean on God. You then become very like knowledgeable and logical and puffed up, and then you have no surrender. The whole point is, I may not catch up with these notes, notes are a tool, but when notes replace, right, when they step up from being a tool to being like an idol, then it becomes a big problem where you're like, dang, I need to know these things, like I need to understand this, and then I can move forward and have faith. No, having faith is I don't understand, but I can still move forward no matter what, because God got me. Do you know what I also kind of noticed in my, because I was also like, when you first come to church or you first learn from you, it is mind opening.

Like I need to record this because it's helping my life so much. So I was very much like, would go to church and take notes the entire time Pastor Kim is preaching or whatever it is, or listen to your Bible class and pause, right, play, keep going, but, and I was only memorizing that stuff so that if people ever asked me the questions, I can answer them like you or Pastor Kim. And then it just got exhausting. What I noticed was like lately when people ask me things, in the beginning, I'd be like, I have no idea. I'd always text you a big, how do I respond to this or whatever it is. And then now the thought has changed where sometimes someone's asking me a question or challenging something about how they feel about God. And instead the thought comes to my head where I'll pause for a second. Usually I'd rack my brain and be like, what does Johnny say about this? But instead what I've noticed is like, okay, I'm gonna just pause. God helped me give the best answer. And if I don't know, just I'll tell him I don't know. Level up. And a lot of times, a lot of times it'll just be just an earnest answer that they'll be like, oh, that's interesting. Or I just won't know, but they'll be like, I'll be like, I don't know,

but like that's just part of faith. You know what I'm saying? And it'll open up a different conversation. So it's kind of interesting that it's like over time, that process does happen where you feel less of the need to need the perfect answer to be like, all right, God, like I'm just gonna say something and see where the cards fall. I think that ties into confidence, right? So like every new believer goes through that because they're going through this validation era where it's like, oh, like, I feel like I need to answer everybody's question. And when you answer, it feels good, but you also kind of don't. I don't want to mislead people. So it kind of puts you in the position of, I got to lead them, but I don't know how. But, and if I don't do that, then I'm not a good Christian. So God shifts us out of that, from performative feelings like that and validating feelings to actual faith. And that builds confidence. So that changes with when your confidence get built, right? So as you're going through these motions, which everyone has to go through, it's okay. You don't have to answer everybody's question. The more you become confident with everything, and more secure and become fluent in the gospel and literate in the gospel,

the more you actually don't talk as much. They say that about us all the time. They say that about me. They're like, Johnny, with his guests, I seen it in the George Jenko, they're like, man, I wish he would have said more. James Sexton's part, I wish he would have said more. Why doesn't Johnny just say more? He could have said so much, they should have listened to him, blah, blah. But what they don't understand is most people, you kind of go from spitting game, the level up is going from spitting game to listening to a person's heart, and then gaining their heart, and then letting them kind of just feel heard and comfortable and understood. Because when a person feels understood, you don't have to say much, because your heart is connected. So you could say a couple of things and they're like, I got you. Versus when you're trying to gain as a person, you almost have to sway them. So you have to have bomb arguments, you have to have good articulation, you have to know what you're talking about, and then they go, all right. So my job is always to switch people out of checkboxing to going, no matter what it is,

Johnny understands my heart. And that part right there is what's gonna open up people to even listen to what you have to say. And during that time, if someone's listening, you don't have to say much. It's just a simple couple of things. It's a couple of tweaks. And you're basically like a spiritual chiropractor. You're just realigning certain parts. You don't have to do the whole body. It's like, oh, you have neck pain? Boom, it's one of these like, all right, I'm gonna align this spiritually for you. And that's the level up for a lot of people is they go from performative to finally going, let me listen and hear. Let me listen to understand them rather than to assume or to protect or to project or to formulate my answers before they're even speaking. When a person sits there and goes, dang, they hear me, they understand me, everything else doesn't become a problem. Things become very minimalized after that. The other part to that is like, why you didn't say much is you got me on the podcast. So it's like, you don't need, I'm just kidding. Okay, so how do you make sure that when you're leaning on God, it doesn't become transactional? Does that make sense? Yes, by leaving the outcome with him.

So leaving whatever he's going to do with him. You can make your desires known to God, but your desires can never become expectations. Okay, so I wanna make 100K a month, let's say, right? God, I prayed for you, you need to give me 100K a month because I prayed and I tied them. That becomes transactional. Versus God, I would like to make 100K, but if you don't think that's okay, then you handle it. Either you give me the heart, not to want that heart of 100K, or you make it so that it is possible according to your will. So you just have to align with people. It's not about do I do this or do I stop? You're always gonna have your desires. If I tell you guys to be humble, like that doesn't matter, right? At the end of the day, God is gonna humble you where he sees fit, and he's gonna exalt where he sees fit. There's times where you can't help that, and all of this is part of God's plan, right? You obviously have a choice to sit there and decide if you're gonna follow God's plan or not, but that's the whole point, is following God's plan is going, Lord, can't do anything, you're gonna do everything. I'm only gonna make my questions and answers and my feelings and my desires known to you. That's it, and you do with it what you see fit, and you get to this position where even if you get a dub

or even if you take a L, you don't react to it, because you're like, okay, the L was because God allowed it, and sometimes you're wrong. Maybe I'm like, the L is, you know, I took a loss, but God's like, no, no, no, that's not a loss, you just think it is, and then he'll fix that too. Oh, I thought it was an L, but actually it's a dub. Oh my gosh, I didn't know that. We're trying to figure it out. That's the biggest problem. The biggest problem is like, I need to know an L is an L and a dub is a dub. If that's the case, you're not gonna have faith. You're basically saying, I don't wanna have faith in you, God. It is okay to wanna know that, but even that, you have to bring it to God. Lord, if you want me to know what this path is, then you let me know what this path is. If it's not, then give me the heart to cultivate and form faith inside of my heart to not worry about the path or the loss or the W or the knickknacks and the semantics. Rather, let me lean on you. I believe, help my unbelief. It's very simple, it's very simple. But in everything though, God's primary goal in our trials and tribulations, like why does God allow us to go through hardships? Why does God allow us to nurture faith?

Like what's the point of it? Why can't he just give it to us? Because it's dependence. God wants us to depend on him. When you go out into this world, everything is teaching you from kindergarten to college to just social media to every outlet is depend on yourself. He has a lot of work to do and then he has to undo all of these things of self-reliance, self-dependence. And so he's gonna use everything in your life to make you depend on him, good and bad, good and evil. People always ask me this too, like Satan. Earlier this morning, we had a main stage and the guy was like, why does God allow Satan to be alive? Like I get why he created Lucifer and then Lucifer chose to become Satan, but why doesn't he just get rid of him? Because Satan has a job to do. People think Satan is doing all these evil things. Satan is an exposer. He will expose, God will use him as a tool to expose what you lean on. For example, if you care about money, then Satan will draw your heart to money and then God will show you, see, you don't like me, you like money. He's just exposing because love honors choice. If God created everyone to love and he removed Satan, then where is the choice and the true authenticity

of choosing God and loving him? Everyone would love him if that's the case, right? So God will allow certain things to happen in your life so that you can depend and also see yourself for who you really are. Because the one thing I noticed about any human being, myself included, we cannot see ourselves accurately. We think we can, but it always comes down to like hearts change. Your first love, for example, we can do this test. Are they still your first love? You sat there and you explored your life with them, you loved them, you kissed them, you explored your bodies with them, you gave up things to them. Some of you guys have kids with them, but what happened? You're intimate with them, you felt that deep desire, you looked into their eyes, you're like, dude, I'm never, ever, ever going to change. This is a person that I love forever. And yet things change. Why though? Because God wants to show us. College applicants as well. You go to college, you get into college, you're like, this is my degree, this is what I'm gonna do. And then you switch majors, right? It's like you're so set on something and yet the heart changes. And it's because you don't know that.

Why does God allow that? For you to know that. For you to see your heart, it can be deceitful, desperately wicked, who can know it means no one knows this. So the whole point is dependence on God. That's why he allows everything in our lives to just depend on him. So the shortcut is depend on him. Is to go, hey God, I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm gonna start this business like I did with Jeremy and Aaron and be like, I don't know what's gonna come out of it. If they use me, if they don't, if we collapse, there is a lesson or a blessing in all of these things. And I think that's how God has led everything. Because me as a leader, if I don't do that, then they're gonna also do the same and they're gonna follow my lead and things would just go worse. We get people, random people who just fit like at the craziest times and I'm not surprised by that because I know if you surrender to God, this business is not your business, it's God's business. In the same stroke, if you surrender your life to God, your life is no longer your life. God has to now take care of it because you're depending on him. So the smartest hack is to depend and lean everything on him. Like I said, plan boldly, but surrender daily.

Every day you must plan, of course, right? If you wanna build a house, you have to have a blueprint. But you have to also realize that God will hold the materials together. He will provide the materials. He will, it's his house at the end of the day and he's gonna do what he sees fit with it. Guys, daily devotionals are back. Every morning I'll send you a devotional that I personally write, rooted in scripture to help you with your spiritual walk with God and make the gospel a habit in your life. There's nothing more powerful than starting your day with his word. Join over 100,000 others for your free daily devotional. Sign up with your email using the link in the description. My hope's to help you guys grow with your spiritual life each and every day. And that's really tough. That's really tough to do when you're on the, quote unquote, like downside of what that plan could be. For example, if the business did collapse or you do have to lose it, you're saying it's about being comfortable with that happening anyways or just knowing it's a part of the plan. That's where I think a lot of people struggle to have that submission when it's super uncomfortable, as you talk about all the time, but it's tough. Yeah, but that's why it's God's job too.

that they have to submit and surrender. None of the byproduct of surrendering is you get defeated so badly that you just give up. Giving up and surrendering is synonymous with one another. It means that they correlate, right? So people think I need to surrender. When they ask this question, how do I surrender to God? It's like saying, how do I get knocked out by freaking, you know, Mike Tyson? It's like, no, you just get knocked out. You get laid out, stretchered and everything, right? Life is like that Mike Tyson. It will lay you out and you will go through certain things and God will press your limits. He will test your limits. He will test your faith to show you you don't have faith so that you can distrust and depend on him instead of rely on yourself. He literally does that to everybody I see from Pastor Kim to Pastor John, to you guys, to me. I just watch from afar and I'm like, dude, God is working right now in this brother's life, in this sister's life, to do what? To make them surrender. And when they surrender, right? He saves the spirit and rebuilds them. He breaks them down, it says in the Bible, to then build them up. Like, we need to be broken down because we're built up by something else

on a crooked foundation, which is Satan, the enemy and through sin, and he breaks it down to then build it on a holy foundation, which in the end, you can be thankful for. The level up is you look back in hindsight and go, dang, I wish, I'm so glad I went through those things because at that moment, I couldn't see, but now I understand why I cultivated this, why I had to go through those heartbreaks, those types of relationships to show me what a real relationship was, why I had to fail at this business, why I had to quit this job, why I had to get played and get cheated on, why I had to cheat, why I had to do all of these things to then see who I am as a person that I cannot rely on myself ever again and I have to fully rely on God. So everything you talked about beforehand was about how Satan exists for basically the duality of God and how to exemplify love is choice, all those things you just said. But if you guys could take a magical bean and you would just follow God and not have to deal with figuring it out on your own, would you eat that bean? Of course. I wouldn't. Oh, whoops. I would eat the bean.

I would take your bean too. That's crazy. You're not gonna eat your bean? Wait, why? Why? Because that's what happened to Satan. He literally didn't take a magical bean, but he was created to only follow God. And in the end, when you only follow somebody and you don't have your choice, right? Because I think free choice is a very good thing. I think free will, obviously God designed it into the plan for a reason. Because then you're able to truly change, right? I was talking to Mark Laeda about this and Mark was like, it's so crazy. All these people who are on sulfide underbelly, they changed drastically because they went through the most craziest things in their lives to then make the decision to go, yeah, I went through that and I don't want that anymore. And then they had this amazing change where it's like, they're solidified in their choice where they're like, I walked that path and there's nothing there for me and that they're determined to change. And he's like, it's such a beautiful thing, right? And he was like getting emotional when he was explaining. He's like, it's beautiful to see people go walk the streets and do crazy stuff and then come back and go,

yeah, I don't wanna choose that. I walked it and I realized it wasn't for me. And now when they do choose, they're super disciplined. They're super like hardworking. They're super ethical people. And there's just a beauty inside of that. He's like versus me and he was talking about himself. Grew up in the suburbs, white American family, loved me and I'm over here like, yeah, like grass is always greener on the other side. Oh, there's a shiny object syndrome, you know? And he said it straight up like that ruined my marriage. I found a Colombian girl and she was super beautiful and that's what caused my divorce. And he goes, and it's because I didn't walk that path early on. I was like, you know, suburban kid, everything was amazing. God taught me, you know, family and taught me morals and about God and all that. And I try to live by that, but I was still always like itching, like, is this it in life? Like, no, there must be something else. And so for me, like, I think it's, there's something about not following God, like Saul, who then goes to the road of Damascus and becomes Paul and then really goes ham for God. And it's true authenticity versus like, yeah, I got everything I handed and like, I took this magic bean

and of course I'm gonna follow God. So you guys lose. I know, you're just trashing my idea. Anyways, I'm selling magical beans if anybody wants to buy them. Why would God even give you the thought that there could be something better? You know what I'm saying? Like if he made Satan- He doesn't give you that thought. What's that? He doesn't give you that thought. No, but I'm saying when he made all the angels and he made Lucifer, there was no other evil entity to tempt him. He just created that thought, so. There wasn't an evil entity to tempt him, but it wasn't the temptation that got to Satan. Satan wasn't tempted, right? Satan was, he just thought he was good. And that's the whole point. When you eat a magical bean and you only follow God, there is that itch where it's like, is there, there must be more to this. Cause think about it. It wasn't just Satan that fell. Did you know there was a third of heaven? That means a third of the angels were like, you're right. Like they have the same heart as that's a lot. Like, I don't know how many angels are in heaven.

I'm assuming a lot. Right? 7 billion. I'm pretty sure if there isn't, if they say there's an angel assigned to each person and a demon assigned to each person, then that means there's like billions. Okay. So a third is crazy amount. And, and that just goes to show, it magnifies the, this, this almost poisonous thing of choice where it's like, it's a beautiful thing, but it's also poisonous. Where if I don't get to choose, I always want to choose. And if I do get to choose, I don't ever want to make the choice again. Right? It's, it's very, I don't know. It's simple, but it's difficult to explain. People, for me, I know a lot of people in the church. For example, the church kids are always like, Johnny, what if I live the life you lived? Made money, women, cars, clothes. And then right before I die, I receive salvation. It's like, I've asked that question. Literally they, they're like, why do I receive? Cause the kids are like 16, 15, 17. They receive salvation. And they're like, dang, I can't trust my thoughts. And I can't go and experience women and have, you know,

fun and blah, blah, blah. And that's why a lot of kids end up leaving the church is because they're like, nah, I want to go and do stuff. But every time a kid leaves the church, church doesn't panic. Like our church, we don't panic. We actually are almost like celebratory. We're like, amen. Now they're going to go and discover why it's bad to trust. Like they know theoretically and hypothetically, and they've been kind of under the fellowship of the church. But now when they go out there, they're able to see like what it really means to follow your thoughts and be miserable. And then the kids who do come back, always bomb testimonies, super upgraded, super like, I'm wrong. I should have never followed myself. Yeah, I get what you guys are saying. And they have almost this renewed respect and heart for all the servants. I'd say that that's kind of me. Yeah. Oh, you don't feel that? No, you said you wanted to eat the beans. Well, I'm saying if there was... No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just kidding. I'm not allowed to eat the bean? Then I'm like a good God follower, you know?

No, no, you would be Satan. So you're saying I have to do what you did then? You would literally become Satan, Jeremy. Especially you. You don't know that. I'd be the two thirds of the angels. There's two thirds that were fine. Nope, nope, they chose two. Listen, when the angels split, they chose two. They were like, man, I'm going to follow God too. That was a temptation for them, right? Because they're like, dang, I could go and do whatever I want. Now imagine you're serving God all day. And you're just like, man, I'm tired of this. You put me in a role where I'm just stuck here. But Satan's issue was that he had everything. That's the problem. Following God, right? If you're a perfect follower of God, you become a Pharisee. Because if you look at the Bible, these Jewish Pharisees had no sin. There's no part where it even records them sleeping around. They were like literally immaculate almost, right? And they had their own righteousness. But that made them super judgmental. The reason why Satan wanted the throne was because he thought he deserved it.

How could you ask for God's throne? Because you think you're good enough for it. And it's the good people that crucified Jesus Christ. If you look at it, it wasn't the woman caught in the act of adultery. It wasn't people who slept with people and boiled babies and whatever. No, it was literally the Pharisees who went to the Romans and crucified them. So it's always the good people, good people, that end up going against God the most. Because God wants the unrighteous. He wants the lost. Good people are not lost. They're level-headed. They're logical. They're big-brained. They're found. They have direction. They have discipline. With all of these things that they're supposed to rely on God for, now they have it all of a sudden like Satan did. And they're thinking, why do I need to rely on him? And that's exactly how their hearts are. A lot of these atheists, a lot of these philanthropists, a lot of these people who rely on themselves are extremely intelligent. They're not stupid people. When I see them like debating Christians and Catholics,

they even tie them up. They're like, oh yeah, well if this is this and this, and they're like, they're so studied that people stumble even in their faith. And it's because they don't need God. Satan was number two in heaven. He was made out of bagpipes. He was beautiful. He was wise. Bro had music. Bro was that dude. And everyone loved him and almost worshiped him in a way. And his heart wasn't that he was too evil. His heart was that I'm so good, how come I don't deserve the throne? And this is exactly what causes people to err. Good people judge because they're like. You're not like me, and I don't do that, so you're bad. Evil, wicked people can't judge others. They know, damn, I messed up. I'm a liar, he's a liar. I can't be saying that I'm a freaking liar. I'd be a hypocrite. So it's always good people who go against God the most because God came for the lost. He came for the ungodly. He came for sinners. He came for the sick. Sick people have to go to a physician, it says in the Bible, right?

Same thing, evil sinners search for God. And so it's very, very, you know, it's important to be able to have free will and have free choice and actually come to the position of a sinner because then you have nothing to boast about and then God becomes everything for you. And that's ultimately what God wants. Again, the primary goal of God is forming dependence in you to make you depend on him. That's it. We're hiring, guys. Core of the Heart is hiring, but listen carefully. We're not just building a company. We're building one of the fastest growing Christian communities in the world. In just a year and a half, this community has grown to over 3 million strong and we're nowhere near done. Our mission is simple, but massive, to build the best tools and resources to help anyone in the world get closer to God. Our first immediate goal is to get 100 million people into heaven. So when we say we're hiring, understand this. We're not looking for employees. We're looking for mission-driven A players that want to change the world. Our criteria is simple. Don't show us what you could do.

Show us what you've already mastered. If you want to be the short-form editor, show me the millions of views you've gotten on short-form. If you want to be the podcast producer, show me the shows that you've successfully produced. We've learned the hard way not to hire off potential. We just want to hire off of peer experience, people who have already proven that they can perform at their skillset at the highest level. We have jobs available in many different departments, media and content, live events, and marketing. We also have remote jobs and LA-based jobs available. If you're an A player that has mastered their craft and wants to do something that glorifies God, then please head to the link in our description and check out the job board. And lastly, if you're an absolute beast at something and you don't see it on the job board, please reach out. I mean, you know, you might be able to do it for us. It might work out. So if you're amazing at something, you don't see the perfect job description, just reach out, tell us what you're good at. Maybe it'll work. Genuinely, I can't do this without a team. So I'm very thankful for anyone who supports the mission. I look forward to hearing from you guys. So eating the bean would lose the dependence. 100%, because now you can depend on yourself. You can follow him and be like

the prodigal son's older brother. What if the bean has an ingredient that makes you dependent on him? Yeah, then we would just be human beings. Human beans? Human beans. I thought that's what you said. Human bean. I thought that's what you said. That is what I said, human beans. Human beans. Then we will be human beans. Yeah. We're kids here, I'm sorry. Okay. Why does it sometimes feel like God is blessing others and not me? Because of timing. So people don't understand timing. God blesses everybody. Oh, what are you, the master of time? Yeah, yeah. What are you, father time? Yeah, yeah, this guy, he said, people don't understand time. They don't understand timing, because different timing, people equate timing to love, right? So they think different timing means different love. No, God loves everybody equally, right?

He's a just and fair God. But there are certain things that you receive at a certain time, and there are certain things that somebody else receives at a certain time. So they have this confusion that if I don't get blessed based off of my time, even if it's 10 years from now, which I'll be patient enough to wait, still your timing, by the way, then all of a sudden, it's almost like they feel forgotten, or they feel not acknowledged by God, or they feel less favored because somebody prayed and then they got it right away, right? And so a lot of people get frustrated, but it's because they don't understand that everything is in God's timing. So a five-year-old cannot get the same blessings as a 45-year-old, right? If I'm five and I'm in kindergarten, I can't start a business at five years old. Like if I'm 45, however, I can't be in kindergarten, I should be starting a business, right? So there's timings and things, and it talks, even Jesus talks about this in the parable in the Bible, where he says, people come to a vineyard and they work, and they get paid one wage, let's say it's $10, right, for the whole day.

And there's certain people that came in the beginning, and they're like, 10 bucks? All right, I'll work eight hours, I'll get paid 10. They agreed to that. Then another person comes, and it's literally two hours left in the workday, and he's like, $10. And now, all of a sudden, this $10 that they agreed upon doesn't look so good because they only worked two hours. So it's not about fairness, but when human beings who are unfair use their own standard for being fair, then they start to judge God and dumb him down to like, if I feel like this, that's what it should have been. God is talking about grace. Hey, regardless if you. you work two hours, or you work 10 hours, you're all gonna get blessed the same. That's what he was trying to prove in this story, which is a very big unlock. But people, they confuse different time with different love. Okay, so if I get it at this time, and I didn't, or I didn't get it at this time, it means God loves me more, or he doesn't love me as much. It means I wasn't obedient enough, or I was obedient. No, different time is just different time. It's not different, it's different timing, same love.

People think different time, different love. God doesn't love me. I'm still struggling for 20 years. I've been praying for this. And this guy freaking literally came to church for two weeks, and he got the same thing. I've been wanting that job, and I wanna be an electrician or something. And in two weeks, he became an electrician. What the hell is this? They start getting frustrated. But God is trying to show, do you trust me in the timing? It's not your time to do that. So in that scenario right there, 20 years wants to be electrician, someone gets it in two years. Is the 20-year person that, let's say they were trying their hardest to depend on God from their viewpoint, were they that dumb to be ignoring the signs from God that they shouldn't be an electrician? Or it's true, like? It's all comparison. So what God does when he withholds certain things is to expose other things. So for example, most people, if you get mad that someone is getting blessed, for example, and the fact that you get mad is already exposing your heart that you're comparing. You feel like, I need to compare

and I need to receive that blessing. So you're already comparing. Now, God can't bless you if you're comparing because then you're only gonna count your blessings based off of the comparison. Okay, I have a million dollars, but he got 10 million, so why can't I get to, it's, he has, you have to get rid of that first. So at the core root, right, if you feel like God has skipped you because others are blessed, that's what he's exposing. Hey, you feel skipped, not because I skipped you because I'm God, I would never skip you, that's absurd. I would never show anyone favor over you. But you think I do, so I can't bless you right now because when I do, then you're gonna think the other way. Oh, I'm favored by God, which leads to ego, which leads to pride, which leads to arrogance. I know so many people who are blessed by God and they're like thinking that it's their own blessing. It's like, oh, because I tithe, because I fasted, because I prayed. Oh, I finally distrusted my thoughts, that's why God gave it to me. No, God gives it to you. He's the God of the good and the evil, right? He blesses the poor and the rich. He's not, he's just because he's graceful and he's faithful. So he's always trying to make us, again, realize who we are. God will expose our hearts, even if it takes 20 years.

It only takes 20 years because you didn't get it. You don't see your heart, which sounds crazy, but God cannot bless that. If a kid is five years old and he loves, I see him, let's say, stabbing things with pens, right? Stabbing the couch or whatever it is. Some of you guys have kids who do that, where they mess up the furniture and they're five. If they're 10 years old and they watch things like samurai movies and swords and ninjas and they want a sword, I'm not gonna give it to them because I know that they're gonna stab up stuff. It's not because I'm cruel, it's because the kid is not, he's still a kid in his faith. Now, you could be 45 years old, but you're still a child to God. When your heart is not in the right position, you're asking God to bless you is actually cursing you because if your heart is not ready for that blessing, you will fumble everything and you may even hurt yourself or hurt other people with it, right? If you give $10 million to a drug addict, for example, they're going to squander it 100%. But if you give $10 million to an investor, somebody who's mature enough and disciplined, then they would probably multiply that. So God is, he's smart. He's not gonna give you something that you can't handle. That's what you have to accept. Okay, there's probably something in my heart.

If you can have this heart to go, if there's something that I've been waiting for and God hasn't been giving it to me, you have to ask God to expose that part. Rather than asking God, fix it, you have to ask God to expose it. God, what is it that you're not giving this? Like, I feel like I'm ready, clearly I'm not as you can snap your fingers and give it to me. What is it that I'm not getting here? And if it's not for me to get, then give me that heart to not understand and just move forward and move on from this. Because this desire in my heart, this burning thing in my heart wants it so bad. And I realize that you're probably not gonna give it to me. And I've already prayed for patience. It's been 10 years, five years, however many years. I'm obviously not getting it. So please show mercy on me and give me the heart and give me the grace to be able to learn. I guarantee you if you ask like that, most people don't even pray like that. They never pray like that. They pray for, okay, I'm gonna wait and I'm faithful and I have to have a job. Okay, you're gonna give me this job. Boom, they don't get a job. Okay, what? What am I doing wrong like they pray this way, but it's still the heart of what give me the job rather

It's like okay. You could have gave me the job, so let's move forward from that you didn't fine It's been this long you could have healed me from this you did it fine What is it that you're trying to teach me through this because I'm not getting it and if I'm not getting it Please help me with that. I Guarantee you guys you pray like that God is gonna show it to you because that you need a certain heart posture to even pray Like that and we're giving you guys the shortcuts for that also the mindset that you guys have to have It's not why them so if God is blessing somebody your mindset should not be why them it should be me, too And what I mean by that is that same God that's blessing them. He's gonna bless me too in his timing I don't need to worry about that. He's God is a fair God He's not gonna. Just give blessings to one guy, and they'd be like la la la la la like you know you Like he's not gonna do that. He's gonna go. Oh wow them being blessed. I'm gonna be blessed, too That's why when I look at all the people who hate on me. I'm like you guys are calling me heretics You guys are doing all that Why don't you see it as like dang if God can help this guy who's a freaking criminal who literally has a GED education? Who's horrible manipulated did all this have lied and everything and was the biggest sinner didn't even care about God? Man, I've been following God since I was 10 years old like how is God not gonna Help me man amen that Johnny Chen gets lifted up because that means God is gonna lift me up and that means God really is Good to let somebody like that step up and get a platform and get famous etc But instead people have no faith they look at it And they go why not me and then so they tear people down and they go yeah You shouldn't be doing that you shouldn't be doing this like I should be over there No, you should be in the same position instead of why me you have to ask me, too, right? You have to go me to me to God you're gonna. Help me. Do you pray like that what me to me, too? I feel like you'd be like why not me. Yeah, why him you know anyone, but him I'm pretty good the other question. I was gonna first of all you jerk. Oh, I'm just kidding No, you're not that was truth in there. Yeah, sometimes. You're a little bit of a doubting Thomas Me out of all the people me This guy's the king I don't know That's fair I am guilty I'm joking the one thing I wanted to ask was Why does it sometimes feel like God is blessing me right when I don't feel like I necessarily deserve it or in my head

I'm like there's still parts of me that are feel selfish You know I'm saying because he's trying to get you off of your feelings, so if God is blessing you Right it's he's trying to prove that you don't deserve it. That's another thing. That's a common misconception I only get blessed because I deserve it That's such a lie. We don't deserve anything right in fact if you look at a human being What is one thing that we're gonna receive like every human being death 100% so we're all gonna die in a hundred years None of this is gonna matter right and so God is like even though you deserve only death I'm still gonna give you life. I'm gonna give you all these different, but do you deserve it no there's evil people Every single day roaming this earth literally hurting people and yet God allows him to live Why because God is blessing everyone that's what grace does it levels a playing field for everybody it doesn't matter about your actions It's hey. I love you even if nobody loves you now I'm not condoning that you guys should go out and be evil right because God doesn't bless you more or less based off of your Behavior he blesses because he's good and his covenant, so if you are asking Why does God bless me even though I don't feel like I deserve it. That's the whole point He's trying to show you that he's so good That even though you don't deserve it He's gonna give it to you right and in the other end even if you're doing so good Your goodness is not the goodness of God good intention is not God intention So if you're doing things transactionally, then you will get mad and be like dude. I've been doing all these things How come I'm not getting blessed well? That's the point well how can he bless you because he's gonna nurture a Transactional mindset when he wants to nurture a relational mindset and a lot of people are not relational with God They're transactional with God God. Give me this give me that I did this I did that. Thank you for giving me this all Why are you not giving me this that's like 90% of people's prayers instead you have to sit there and go Lord Regardless if you give me this or that whether you give me this or that you've given me everything else that I didn't pray for Like my life like waking up in the morning like my children like my money in my bank account like the clothes on my back Like the food in my belly everything that other people don't have Literally we had a kid recently passed away right in a very tragic way, and he received salvation He was in Miami, and he preached the gospel to a lot of people that's proof right there that although he preached the gospel

He was his life was taken he was 19 years old right and he makes me He reminded me a lot of my youngsters and at the same time there are people here who are complaining on main stage or? complaining on Google, and complaining on Reddit, and complaining, and I'm like, how much more if this kid, rest in peace Christian, if he had one more day to preach the gospel, if he had one more day like them, would he be complaining, he'd be preaching the gospel, and yet he can't. So people would say that's unfair, but his own mom is in our main stages saying, I receive life from these main stages, I'm thankful that he received salvation. At his funeral, 40 plus kids came, and they all received salvation. They were all preaching the gospel. Bro is putting in work even though he passed away. That's such a humbling, most beautiful thing, and when I see videos of him, he literally says the things that I say. He made this joke where he's like, I look at myself and I'm not the savior, I'm just FedEx, I'm just USPS. I just plant the seed, and everyone's laughing and stuff. So when I see him, I'm like, man, it's so cool, he's like a mini me, and yet, even though he's like that, God took him, and it was more like, okay. And I remember him saying in Miami, Johnny, I wanna be able to be up there with you one day,

I wanna preach with you one day, and the only thing I'm sad about is that he can't do that with me. Other than that, I'm very proud that for death, even though he passed away, people think death is a sorrowful thing. For Christians, death is not the end, it's the beginning. He's up there with God, he's rejoicing, he's happy, and he don't gotta worry about dealing with crazy things anymore, and lust, and the world, and all that. How I see it is, he's free, he's finally able to rest. Why would I be sad about that? I'm actually very happy to have met a very clean soul like that, to see a pure kid, in this day's generation, where there's distractions everywhere, there's lust everywhere, there's vape everywhere, there's weed, and drugs, and alcohol everywhere, and he's like, nah, I'm gonna choose to preach the gospel to my family, and my friends, and anybody I came in contact with. And so yeah, to me, death was a transition for him, to transition him up to God. He really was like a anomaly, almost, right? A lot of people are not doing that. Most people are doing it for clout, they're doing it for performance, they're doing it for look at me, look at how great I am. He was just like, bro, I just love the gospel,

and I wanna preach it. I wanna be a good dad to my kid, and I wanna preach the gospel to my kid. And so, how beautiful is that, you know? Can the devil trick people into think they're getting blessed? Yes, the devil can also bless people. How can you be aware if you're getting blessed by the devil or not? Yeah, by not focusing on the blessings, and focusing on the dependency. So your blessings should always make you depend more on God. That Satan makes, he will use your blessings, even blessings from God, to make you miss the blesser for the blessing. So God will always make you, he will bless you to make you depend on him, to formulate faith and nurture your life. Satan will always utilize blessings to make you become God, and be like, see, I got blessed. And now I have this, and I lean on this, and this is all I want. And that's the danger, right? We have to be careful not to miss the blesser for the blessing, right? We really have to be careful of that. A lot of people miss the blesser, which is God, and go, this is what I want. And that's why Jesus mirrored this in the gospels. He was like, I'm gonna heal you,

but I command you not to tell anyone about it. Why? Because he knew people who would wanna be healed would only come to him because they wanna be healed. They want the blessing of being healed with no surrender, no obedience to God, no love of God, just transactionalizing and using him and accessorizing him. And so that's how you can tell, right? What do you think would be worse, believing in the wrong God or believing that there's no God? Believing in the wrong God or believing that there's no God? That's a good question. Or are they the same? I think it's the same. I have mild thoughts. Believing in the wrong God is the same as believing in no God because there's no other God except God. So the wrong God is still a no God. It's just maybe a God of this world, but it has no power. My thought was this. If you believe in the wrong God, at least you believe in a higher power, there's an opportunity that you find the right God. If you believe in no God, then you're fully- But what if your God is Satan? Like there's Satanists. Yeah, but I'm saying you still believe

in the spiritual realm. Oh, the core values? You believe in the spiritual realm and maybe the real God. You could come across the, because I believed in the wrong God. I hear what you're saying. Yeah, but no God to me, it's like you will never accept it even if the right God came to you. I agree, I agree. It's almost the way I think about with grace-based and work-based. A lot of you guys who are followers were work-based. I would say 100% of you guys who, before you came to me, didn't know anything about grace. You thought you were serving God. You thought you were loving on God and you did everything by works. And then when I showed you grace, you're like, oh my gosh. So I think it's okay, amen, where it gives you the foundation. Because Satan flips everything right, but God will also flip everything back And so God wants us to recognize that it's okay to follow your heart and do spiritual things and even with the witchcraft stuff like I noticed that so many of our Congregation used to be like ex witchcraft people Wiccans and paganistic things and they believed in all of that stuff and at the end of the Day, they realized dude. I was following the wrong God I would but they did believe in a higher power, which you know, if you think about it foundationally, there is a higher power They're just trusting in the wrong one or they're misplacing that trust, right?

And so yes, I actually agree when you explain it like that. That's pretty well I'm just curious what more people come from What more new Christians come from converting or just finding faith because it's like I would think that no God is a clean slate in a sense You're more likely to just hear something and maybe believe it versus the wrong God that takes a lot of unwinding It's like you grew up learning something or your family learned something That's way harder to convince someone out of then just truly in slate But I think it's harder, right? I think in our congregation though. Most people are converted. Really? Yeah, like I know most people. Yeah are converted Touching me. Sorry But yeah, okay Well, I just think about like I just think about if it's clean slate and I'd say Jesus walked on water Somebody that believes in a God would be like, oh, that's pretty crazy Like I've been possessed or I can see that where someone else make that's no dude. You're crazy Levels to not believing people believe in certain things and not others true You put the thing that's bothering me is you pulled that off the equipment that's the tightener for the base of the mic Yeah, but they're always floppy Just know that this can happen put it back or we're gonna ground you we're literally gonna ground you jumping up. No, it's good We're good Fully intentional. Yeah Okay, so a while back pastor Kim had said to you He was like, I hope God can hold on to you and you could preach to the very end and that made you mad Yeah, why did that make you mad because I had a thought of like God is holding on to me, bro Well, but then bro, yeah But like what was the context where you would take that and like in a I think I think I got Frustrated because I thought that I was a good person There's times where my heart will also shift in a way where it's like man. I'm a good person, you know And I think I'm doing okay. Look God is blessing. God is working You know, he's building our congregation. We recently became a church, etc. Etc. Like it's working it's working and he's like I

Hope right that those words of I hope God can hold you hold on to you to the end made me think like it almost sounded like Condescending like okay, not condescending but more of like you It was it was I think for me it was scary. I think for me it was like dang So is God not holding on to me? and then and then it made me feel like oh he's attacking me because when I get afraid my Fight or flight when I get scared, I don't get scared. I'm like, I don't freeze. I get mad like I'll legit fight right so When he said that immediately, I felt the callusing and the tightness in my chest. It was like So, what do you mean pastor? Right and I tried to listen but at that moment, I just couldn't and he's like no I'm just telling you that my hope is for you is for God to hold on to you till the end because Who knows and he and later he clarified what he meant Which was we don't know if we're gonna go or not, but all of it we counted as glory But I didn't see it like that. I saw it as like What do you mean and then just that word? I'm so glad he said that revealed many things that number one. I wanted to hold on to my congregation number one I wanted to hold on to my destiny and that I want to preach the gospel to the very end Little did I know there was already expectations rooted in that was very subtle But like that one word revealed my heart I wasn't pastor Kim didn't say anything bad. And when that happened, I realized something. Oh my gosh, I'm good I think I can hold on to my congregation. I think I can stop sinning whenever I want I think I can preach the gospel to the end whenever I want I think I'm things are working and I'm getting blessed because I'm doing the right things like surrendering No, no, God is blessing us because he's pity if he's pitiful towards us. He's giving me mercy It's not just because I'm obedient There's tons of people who are obedient like the people in the Bible that didn't get blessed people got their heads chopped off They got shot down with arrows they got stabbed to death with swords and God promised them that they would make it to the end and they didn't and so a lot of the times I

was It's misconstruing this mind, this idea of if I do good, that's why I'm getting blessed. And I didn't even realize because the heart is deceitful that you get into that position. And so, so, um, I started to condemn myself after that. Right there. I had these thoughts and it was in the discord. I cried because I was like, dang, my mind is telling me, Johnny, you're getting butthurt and it's been 10 years with pastor. You're still getting butthurt so right there. What is that? What? What is the heart underneath that? You're good. You need to stop doing that, bro. It's been 10 years and you haven't changed. What the hell is wrong with you? Are you really listening to pastor? Are you really a Christian dude? You're a fraud, bro. You're not happy. What the hell is wrong with you? And it started to spiral like this. And the number one thing I learned that day was Satan can never stop me from preaching the gospel, but he wants me to forfeit. He wants me to give up. Pastor Kim wasn't the one that said leave. It wasn't even me. It was the enemy going, see, you spent 10 years, right? You fraud. You suck.

You still struggle with anger and depression and lust, let's say, and all these things. You're a fraud, bro. You can't do this. Look at you. You know, they're right about you. You are a heretic. And I was just like, it wouldn't stop. And I realized, all right, I had made a determination in my heart to be like, I got to talk to pastor, but I'll be honest, my heart already left the congregation. I'm like, man, whatever, dude. I never did this for fame anyways. It's so much better to sit there and just go to prisons and talk to real dudes who I feel I can connect to and not have cameras around and have an honest discussion because they hella show respect. They don't ever question and, you know, try to act crazy. And I'm not under a microscope of everything. And they look, literally every week they're waiting for me to go and visit them than to deal with people who don't even know who I am and all these unsolicited opinions. And so I quit in my heart. But during that time when I made that determination, it was like clockwork. Pastor John called me. And the words that he said which cracked me was, hey, bro, I miss you. And I hope you know that, like, no matter what you do, God still loves you. And I'm like, what? Like, why would he say that in that moment when I was like, I want to leave, I want to run away? And he showed me that. And I started crying. So I was bawling. And he was like, yeah, what's going on?

And I shared everything. And he showed me, you know, only good people get condemned. Only good people get condemned. He said, because if you're wicked and you're evil, then you just acknowledge that about yourself and you don't really have a conscience. You're not like, oh, I'm so bad. I did this. You're just like, yeah, that's who I am. I'm kind of crazy. I messed up. I'm wicked. So it reminded me of Polonsky. When we went to Polonsky and we met P-Dawg, I don't know if you guys remember him. He was a black dude on the left side. Remember there was two people on the side. There was like a Hispanic dude and they all had extended stays of execution. He was bald. Yeah. Bro was basically like, you know, just a real, real nice dude. But he was in there for, you know, like serial murders. Right. And he was in there for a long time. He was in there since he was a teen and he was like 50 and he got an extended stay of execution. Three days. And that third day we went there and we preached and bro sat there and he shook my hand. And you know, he was telling me some things that, you know, they say very explicit things. They treat them like dogs. And he's like, and none of us really fight back. And I kind of thought about it.

You know why? If someone called me a negative derogatory term, I would be like, what? Like I would want to fight back. But he's like, because what they say, what they say, I'm worse than that. That was his own words. I'm worse than what they say. They know I'm in here for a reason. Like I'm not in here because I was a good person. I know I'm wicked. And so that's when I realized, dude, good people can never say something like that. Wicked people go. I acknowledge myself that I'm bad and I mess up and I have no excuses. So call me whatever you want because I'm even worse than what you actually think I am. Gossip A Lot is officially live. I made an AI chat bot built from everything I've ever taught. Live stream, sermon, main stage message, Q&A, and daily devotion, all trained to give gospel centered answers aligned with my teachings. For years, you all have asked for two things. Number one, how can I absorb the Bible faster and actually live it? Number two, how can I get more direct access to me? This is that tool. Think of it as having me and the word in your pocket 24 seven. You can go deep. Like why does God allow evil to exist? Why did Jesus turn water into wine? When Christians get tattoos, how do I preach to my atheist girlfriend? Not only will gospel bot reply with the perfect answer, but it will also send you the original videos where I originally talked about your question. We spent over six months building this gospel focused guide so that. When life hits, you can get my gospel-centered advice

instantly. GospelBot is free to try for everyone right now. Try it right now with the Core of the Heart account. Or if you want more messages, start a seven-day free trial at tier two or tier three and dive all the way in. My mission has always been simple, to equip you with the tools I wish I had when I was trying to learn spiritual life. Now you've got one of the most powerful tools ever made right at your fingertips. Go try it, ask it something real, and watch how your spiritual life can improve. Check the link in the description for sign-up instructions. Can you explain the depths of Romans 8, 31 to 32? So Romans 8, 31 to 32 talks about who can lay a charge to God's elect. It is God who justifies, who condemneth thee, right? It is God who justifies us. And so it goes on to talk about us being more than conquerors. Now, God understands one thing, that as people who are believers, we will always face accusation, persecution, condemnation. And when I saw this, I realized I wasn't believing in that word. I was trusting what I saw and I was condemning myself. Now, when God says who can lay a charge to God's elect, meaning he elected you, I chose you. Johnny, like when I read that verse, it spoke to my heart. You know, I created you the way you were, Johnny, and I elected you and I chose you above my son.

When you look at scripture and it talks about Jesus being forsaken, he says, and literally means God, God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? God forsook Jesus for all of us. He sent Jesus 2000 years ago to die for all of our sins. Now I understood that up here, but for the first time when I read that scripture, I was able to see, dang, even if I condemn myself, even if the whole world condemns me, it is God who justified me and God who chose me. That in itself brought so much peace inside of my heart. So if you guys are feeling condemned, whether it's family members, your kids, your spouse, your own self, most of us condemn ourselves before it even reaches our family members, right? You have to read those verses and go, man, although I condemn myself, I'm so thankful that God doesn't condemn me. Although I remember my sins in Hebrews 10, 17, it says the Lord doesn't remember your sins anymore. Like, although I remember my sins, although I condemn myself, God doesn't remember my sins and he doesn't condemn us anymore. So it was so deep. I've read Romans eight so many times. I've read the Bible 26 times, but I read Romans specifically more than that.

And I never really understood. I was like, oh yeah, God can, he justifies and he doesn't condemn people. And it was that simple. But that whole chapter is about condemnation and self-condemnation and all things related to condemnation and it hits different when your heart reaches a position, which is soil for that seed, which is the word of God to like enter. So I heard it so many times, read it so many times, but that's the first time that it hit me to where I literally was bawling. I couldn't stop crying. Not cause I wanted to, but I was like, dude, I finally tasted maybe 10% of what God's heart was towards me through that one verse. And it was so powerful. It's like, he was basically speaking to me, Johnny, who can condemn you? Who can judge you? I already judged you and I don't condemn you. I've justified you. I've sanctified you. And it was almost like I was getting spiritually hugged by God. You know, it was the weirdest thing. And it's not even a feeling. It was just more of like, wow, God, I'm so stupid. I'm so foolish that I cannot see you. Even though I've studied the Bible so many times,

I cannot see what you're saying to me unless my heart posture is in the position where you have to break it to that position. So God allowed my heart to get lifted. God allowed me to feel like I was good, to teach the deeper lesson through that, which was Romans eight, which was condemnation versus conviction, which was you're not good and that's okay that you're not good. And that I actually wanna work with you because you're weak. I don't want you to be strong because you don't need me then. You'll rely on yourself. You'll never rely on me. And so through that, I was able to be like, dang, God, thank you. I felt extremely loved by God. Like, whoa, I'm weak and you still choose me? You knew I was gonna be like this, a runner and you still love me? You knew I was gonna be dumb dumb for real and never even think that I know about God and then show me, hey, you really don't and still wanna work through a person like me? It was just, yeah, it was the most freeing thing I felt. Other than salvation, being freed and realizing my sins were washed away and I was perfected, that was the only other time that I was truly. like I was free again, like, oh my gosh, Lord,

you freed me from all of this. And yeah, I don't think God would want me to run away. It was more of like, Johnny, I love you, and I don't want you to run away. The issue is Satan is trying to make you feel like I'm not there, because all Satan has to do is distract you. He just has to convince you that God is not there and God's done with you. And then I'll start living like God has done with me. Even though God is there. He also taught me through Romans 8 that God cannot separate from us, right? God talks about it, he cannot pluck anything from you. You know, I used to think, you know, sin was separation from God. But after feeling all of that sadness and kind of going to that position of humility, I was able to realize something. How can God, who's omniscient and omnipotent, meaning he's everywhere all the time, knows everything all the time, ever be separated from you? Like even King David says, even if I make my bed in hell, you're there. He can never actually separate from us. And yet, I was under this impression that if I did something, I have to separate from the congregation and I have to separate from you.

God's like, bro, you're conjoined to me. There's nothing you can do to separate from me. And again, I felt that love of like, dang God, you genuinely love me. And I don't even love you and I don't even care about you and I don't even know your heart. And I couldn't fathom still to this day why he loves me so much, even though I'm rotten to the core, even though I don't understand him, even though I'll always, always, always mess up. And I'm so thankful to God that he loves me. And it took me a whole week to really go through this. And even when I spoke about it on Main Street, I cried because it was difficult. And I don't want to get emotional, but it was difficult to be like, dang, not in that it was a bad thing. It was like he used the bad things to expose and then almost to rebuild everything. And so it made me feel very thankful. Till this day, I have that thankfulness in my heart towards God. Like, God, thank you for letting me go a little crooked to then show me who you are to me. It was wild. It was wild. If you guys want to see the actual, Johnny kind of talking about it when it was closer to the thing,

just look up the I crashed out episode on our page. It's crazy. It was crazy, which is why I wanted to bring it up again only because this has a bigger audience, but it was a really, really good episode. And I think that that's what's special or why people draw to you, honestly, is your vulnerability. And I think that like, yeah, ultimately you make the Bible make sense. I think God has blessed you in that way. And if you did run away, no one would subscribe to your OnlyFans, which is what you talked about in that episode. I did. I was thinking crazy things. I'm going to be honest. I thought crazy things. I was like, should I do OnlyFans? Then I was like, I know some of you guys will be like, he's being Adam and Eve. It's biblical. He's naked. I'm just kidding. No, he even had the marketing of it. He was like, imagine he's like from faith to OnlyFans or something. You said that. I said that?

Yeah, you said something crazy. He was like, dude, like, imagine that. A pastor that then becomes an OnlyFans. I was like, bro, that would go nutty. I would, Adam 22, you know what time it is? Oh my God. Bro would jump on that so fast. Like, hey, Johnny, what are you? Like, it was, I, guys, my mind is crazy. But I will be honest with you about those things, you know? And if I withhold any truth, it's only for your guys' sake. Like, we don't mind telling the truth to people, but there's some people who are like, oh my gosh, he said that? Like, guys, we're human at the end of the day. Like, it's okay to be open and honest about these things. I was talking about it and I didn't agree with it. I didn't consent to it. Remember, having intrusive thoughts, you're not your thoughts. Thoughts can shape reality, but only if you give them the power over your reality. Like, if you consent to temptation, that's when it becomes a problem. When you have those thoughts and you agree with those thoughts, that's when it becomes a problem. But not every thought is from you and not every thought is from God either, right?

So you have to be cautious about those things. But when my thoughts came up, I was honestly kind of almost negotiating with it. Well, if this happened, this happened. And again, I wanted to show you guys that I'm human too. I'm not above the congregation. If anything, I think I'm below the congregation. When I look at every person in the congregation, no BS, like they all are better than me. Like when I look at them and I read the anonymous struggle sometimes, and I'm like, is that even a struggle? I'm like, dang, that's what they're like. Oh, I struggle with forgiving, you know? And I'm just like, dang, like just don't forgive them. You know what I'm saying? I'm just, you know, like genuinely. And I'm like, dang, do you know what? If you thought, if you played my mind in a highlight reel, all of you guys would be like, oh, hell no. This is our pastor. Dude, for sure, he's a cult leader, you know? He's also a freaking lustful piece of garbage and a spiteful and angry and murderous person. Like you would see every single thing, like all the bad. At least sins and whatever, like that's, I'm a big back, gluttony, sinful and lust, right? It's like so many things, right? Wrath, all that. Mean to Jeremy.

Mean to Jeromskis. I done killed Jeremy like 17 times in my heart. No, I'm just kidding, I'm totally kidding. Sleeves is dying. Me too, jump him, jump him. Yeah. But it's just, it's, it's, I think there's one thing about being vulnerable that is a super power in that it's, it's, you guys ever seen the, the eight mile scene where like B rabbit, where Eminem like just clowns himself. Yeah. And then he has like nothing else to say, like low key. That's the hack. It's like, Hey, I acknowledge everything about myself. Say whatever you want. It has no more power because it's like, once you fully expose yourself, then. You're just open to ridicule. Yes. But that's also what God loves is like, he shows everyone's blemishes too. In his timing, in his way. And through that, you're able to then lean on God, because if you guys are struggling with lust, that's a good thing because you're actually leaning on God because of that. Right. And the fact that you're struggling, I always say this is proof that you're saved because if you weren't saved, why would you care about that? I know so many people that are not saved even now. And they're just like, hell yeah. I want a threesome. I want to do like, what, what they, there's no breaking system for them. They're heat. Like they're just heathens straight up.

Right. And they don't care. And they like that too. They're like, yeah, bro, this fool over here, like he's Christian, bro. Got to lock up his, you know, whatever. Like I could do whatever I want. Like, there is no conviction inside of them. So the fact that you're like, man, I shouldn't be doing this is a good thing. Don't make it spiral to where you're like, I'm weak and I got to leave. And God hates me. You have to realize like, okay, because I'm like this, I need God. But honestly, like, that's why I call out Aaron's like all your blemishes. I'm helping you guys. Thank you. No, no. Oh, now you're switching. You need to call your own blemish. You never do that. I do guys comment in the bio or comment on the podcast comment. And he's ever said anything. If anything, he's always like, I'm the star of the show. No, see, this is why I'm so humble. He never talks about his blemishes. Aaron will talk about his blemishes. No, I'm just kidding. I'll talk about his blemishes. I'll talk about his blemishes. He'll talk about my blemishes. He'll talk about the frigging Elijah's blemishes. Because I'm trying to help, right?

God was like, yo, help these people. They need you. You better stop. Cause people seeing this are going to be like, you know what? That's what I do. It'll be, they're going to take it for real, bro. You better stop, bro. They will say that. You're no one. Jerry's my favorite. It's literally going to be, I am the crowd favorite. You know, my God. Okay. Can I ask one? Am I allowed to ask one more? No. Of the you're good. You know why I say no? Cause I know you're hungry. Hungry. You guys don't understand. Okay. I've literally been sitting here. I'm so hungry. I've been sitting here for the past four, five days, seven days, seven days, sick, literally sick, sore throat, all that. And I, I could not eat anything. Jeremy put this thought in my mind. He goes, the reason why you're sick is because you eat like booty. Like it's horrible.

Right. And I'm like, okay, so what do I do? He's like, eat more healthier stuff. And I'm like, all right. All right, mom. Right. So I go and I, I literally have been eating chicken and rice. Like, it's like coming out of my ears, man. It's so much and fruit. Finally fruit. Okay. I've been eating fruit, but before you start to condemn me, why don't we just know that I have your Uber eats? Like when you use the company card. So I see the thing and you're not, you're eating like booty pocket watch. Yes. He pocket watches. You're eating like booty. So you tell me, so, so wait, let's ask the comments. What do you think is healthier guys? Chicken, rice, fruit, you know, Air One food, which is, it's all like seed oil free or, or wings, Krispy Kreme. Oh, that was only for three days. Jeremy, your body's changing. You can't handle that. You're, you can't, you can't eat like a garbage dump. You keep thinking like, Oh, uh, it's only three days. It's only three days. Yeah. Well, what if I just, because in the Bible, Jesus resurrected in three days.

So I had to die. Okay. And now I get to go eat whatever. I only do fentanyl once a month. Not bad. Once a month. That's it. No, no, but, but yeah, I understand. No, no, but because of that, I've been wanting to eat so bad. And today I popped off on Jeremy. That's how, you know, I'm hangry. So we were supposed to go and get, okay. So I don't pop off crazy, but I got not crazy. with Jeremy, I got 10% there, but my 10% is like, your guys is 60%, okay? I'd say like 80%. Your guys is 80%. Okay, so I sit here and so we go, he's looking up stuff after our podcast, it's a ritual for us to go out and eat. I like to take my team to go eat because I appreciate them for working hard, genuinely, right? He doesn't pass in money, only food once a week. No, that's not true, that's not true. So we go and I'm like, so we love eating Korean barbecue, anything Asian. Now, for me, I was put on a low histamine, anti-inflammatory diet, meaning no soy, no gluten,

basically no happiness, okay? Just no happiness, they should not call it the low, they should call it the low and no happiness diet. I could not eat anything, right? And I'm like, pissed. So I'm doing this and I'm locked in, right? It's seven days, I'm like, I'm busting this open. And I'm like, all right, let's go. So he chooses a place and it's a Mediterranean place, which is for me, which I asked for. Sorry for thinking about you. Not bad, he's thinking about me. And I'm like, again, it's halal food and it's great and all, but I'm like, bro, I've been eating that for days. Kebab, chicken kebab, bro, I swear, I'm gonna start speaking freaking Persian. Change his name to kebab. Literally, Johnny Kebab, right? And so I'm like, okay, and I text in the chat because I talked to my doctor, shout out Dr. Wakely, and he's like, Johnny, you're not living in a bubble. You shouldn't be having to do that. And I'm like, oh, you don't say, Jeremy. And she takes a mile. And he's like, all you gotta do is, Johnny, you gotta eliminate, it's a process of elimination of food. You have to sit there and you have to eliminate certain things in your diet. I'm like, all right, cool.

So he's like, corn, I don't think you should eat. It's processed, you know, your body doesn't digest it. It's all GMO, et cetera, et cetera. Cool. He's like, eggs are- By the way, he eats 20 pounds of corn cheese when we go to Korean barbecue, continue. True, it's true. Okay, I never said I didn't, but either way, right? He's saying, don't even try it yet, it's okay. But then he goes, anything that's saucy, try a little bit of sauce. Like, just eat rice, eat the, you know, chadol, which is a- Brisket. Brisket. And, you know, galbi, right? Which is, you know- Short rib. Short rib. He's a Korean barbecue veteran. But anyways, so we gotta do all of that. And I'm over here, super excited. I'll text, I'll look at the text right now. I'll read it in tonality too, okay? I'll read it in tonality. And how you read it in tonality, now I'll read it in my tonality. I said, guys, with double exclamation. Double exclamation means it's crazy, right?

Good news, I spoke to Wakely, he explained everything and told me good stuff. So let's do this Korean barbecue spot tonight. He wants me to experiment with something. He said, that other place is gonna have the same effect, so I might as well do Korean barbecue. Just no kimchi, no corn, but everything else is okay. See what it does and then eliminate it and get it down. I'll tell y'all more. Oh, wait, Aaron, you're leaving. I'm sorry, because I thought Aaron was gonna leave. And then he goes, I can't cancel. This is Jeremy, this is how I read it. I can't cancel, because you have to put your credit card down. Okay, I can't, he says, right? And they charge a cancellation fee within a certain time. Aaron's like, my flight's 8 a.m. tomorrow, right? And I was like, that's why he's a goaded employee. He's like, I'm down, basically. Jeremy's like, this place is also right down the street from your house. I put, okay, it's also not right down the street, because when I Googled it, it's 45 minutes. It's not right down the street. We can eat it. I'm just saying, I'm at Aaron's house. Gotcha, this is so whack. That's what I said, right? And then he goes, and then I call him.

And the number, wait, wait, I call you, I call you, and then you're gonna get your side. I call him and I go like this. Bro, you wanna eat, right? Just be honest with me. That's how I said it. Now go ahead. First of all, let me explain a couple of things. Aaron said, before that, he said, I have to leave right after the podcast so I can't even eat. So he couldn't go to the dinner tonight. Yeah, but he said 8 a.m. No, but he didn't say that until later. He first said he didn't, so then when he said, my flight is at 8 a.m., he didn't say, oh, I can eat now, my flight is at 8 a.m. What I assumed was, I have to pack, I have to do a bunch of things. So that's why I said, is near his house. Because if he does wanna go eat, it's- But explain the cancel, I can't cancel part. Because they charge you. So I got charged, I canceled it. No, but you could have just been like- That's what I said, I said, they charge you. That's what I'm saying. No, you said, I can't cancel. I can't cancel because they charge you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, but listen, hold on, hold on. Let me go to my turn, my turn. So listen, first of all, let me give some more backstory. We've had Korean barbecue probably two times a week, one time a week for the last year. So I thought maybe, okay, it's one time, we can't cancel. It's by his house, it might all work out. He took it as, you defy me, you must pay for it. He calls me, I said, dude, hit your tone again, hit your tone again, hit your tone again now. I said, so be honest, you want, right? No, no, he goes. He goes, he goes, hey, be honest, you want, right? Oh my gosh. You're telling me I banged on you? Yeah, homie, you banged on me. This is Beck Chung gang. You banged on me, you banged on me, yes you did. Fake news, fake news, fake news, Jimmy Chang, Chad. Bro, that was, I didn't, but look, you said, the reason why, honestly, you said, I can't. And then when I heard I can't, I was like, and I expressed this to Jeremy, I expressed this to Jeremy. He couldn't see my heart. That's what made me sad. I was like, dang, I'm sitting here and I'm literally struggling. But then I try to think. Struggling? He acted like he's in the trenches.

I was struggling. He's eating air one. No, I'm not eating air one. I'm not eating air one. Okay, kebab. I'm eating kebab, which is good. No disrespect to all my people, right? Wallahi, I'm just kidding. But genuinely, right? God bless it with you. But I was like, dang, and then what, and I told Jeremy this, and this is also for you guys. I genuinely, when I feel like people can't read a heart posture, that's the one thing that makes me jump into like, dang, these people, like, they don't read heart posture and it's not a good thing. It's always also for him. Like, I'm like, that's why I had to talk to him. Like, Jeremy, you want, right? And I was gonna build off of that and be like, and if he said, yeah, I do, I'd be like, all right. And I was gonna have a conversation with him. If you understand, like, we can eat, I said it. I just, in my heart, bro, like, maybe think about my heart sometimes. That was the lesson, that's all I wanted. But he's so snaky, he's so good. No, well, here's the thing, I wanted to cancel and it's at Aaron's and, you know,

and I am thinking about other people. It's Aaron. No, but you didn't think about me. Think about you all the time, man. Yeah, you do, okay. But yeah, anyways, I thought you guys would like that. Hey, but I just wanna say this. So he said something very key right there. He said, you know, it makes me sad when they don't see our posture. I've never seen him bang on anybody else who doesn't see our, he goes. I didn't bang on you. Hey, cook, you wanna eat, you gonna eat. I pulled this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he said that. What's gonna happen? He said, I was like, Aaron, this is all your fault, by the way. I'm gonna be like, see what happens when you pull it. Hey, the thing that's making me laugh the most is look at where Aaron's mic landed up. He's holding parts. I'm trying to see how far I can get from causing the whole thing. He's literally has the part. I wanted to see how much I could destroy before you noticed. He literally has the mic in three parts while he's holding it.

I dropped the piece that connected it on and Johnny saw it and I'm like, I'm cooked from here. We are done, we are done with the show. Dude, hey, no lie though, Jeremy was right. He was literally like, bro, look at this, what's gonna happen and it freaking happened, bro. I know, this guy makes me so angry. Hey, this is why you should hit your children. Yeah, see me and Johnny never would take this apart. We get a whooping. Aaron is like, oh, what's the worst that could happen? My mom grounds me. I'll just leave the house. You have no control over me anymore, mom. Oh my God, that was hella funny. Yeah, did you learn anything this episode? You've been pretty silent. I did learn that I'm really glad we're not going to. I thought we were still going. I didn't see those. No, I'm kidding. You're my aha. You're my aha. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Hey, no, but no lies is fire, right? But when you're eating the same food, like if I'm eating, if I ate Korean barbecue seven days, I'll be like, oh my, all right guys, can we not? That's not true. No, that's not.

That's not true. Jeremy, that is true, that is true. I would eat, I would switch to a different type of barbecue. If they cut you open, you would literally be, they would find the chadol, the kimchi corn cheese. That's just your insides right now. It's just like four stomachs of, they would just be like, what the, this guy's literally a walking Korean barbecue right here. Bro's like 20% human, 80% Korean barbecue. 80% corn cheese. That's why you're inflamed. That's why you're inflamed. You stab him and no blood comes out. It's just cheese and corn. It's just the, it's just the soy, the, what is it? The brisket sauce. You can stab Johnny and you just, just realize you were hungry later because you lost the stomach contents. Like, wait, now I'm hungry. Yo, I'm so hungry though. But anyways. What did you learn? What did I learn? I learned that Johnny, I learned that you take, I learned something about you today a little bit. And it was just pretty interesting seeing you get kind of choked up talking about that stuff.

And you can kind of tell when someone is just like very passionate about what they're talking about or kind of like holding back in a way. But yeah, that gave me some insight into kind of not your background necessarily, but the things that you go through, I guess. And that was interesting. Yeah. What did you learn? hear me? For me, the one part was like, that's why I think you're kind of built for this, right? Like, you're right. It could have been, you could probably continue this congregation and with that heart of, look at me, I'm good. And it could probably go very far and you probably wouldn't treat us any differently that we would notice that it's happening. And it, yeah, it could, but like, I don't know. I just think that it kind of like affirmed why I wanted to help you in the first place and why I believe in this so much and why I believe in God because of the people you're around, who you listen to and how I see you breaking your own heart. Even though you go through what 99% of people would crumble if they had to experience 5% of it, your friends turning on you, uh, what you have to deal with with the outside world, what you have to deal with within the congregation, what you have to deal with, you know, it's different. Dude, good news is kind of militant. It's a very difficult church and I, every day I'm like, I couldn't, like, I couldn't do it. I could, I would, I would have left the church and like left the church, you know, I'm that stubborn, you know? So just with all that, I'm just like, I'm very grateful that you go through what you have to go to teach, to be an example of the lessons that, that we should all learn, you know? Yeah. And yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm grateful and honored that I get to work for you. And I know that this is going to work. Dang. If Jeremy's saying that God is real guys, type in the chat, God is real. Yeah. God is real. You got this far. God is real. Oh, that's beautiful. I'm grateful for you. Thank you, bro. Yeah. You shared that with me on the, in the texts and it touched me a lot, you know, but I'm thankful that God also gives me the heart to go through these things and teach you guys. That's the

first thing I always think is like, dang, I got to tell some reason he's given me the heart to just tell everyone like, Hey, cause, cause I would want, if you went through it or if you went through it, I would want you guys to tell me, cause then it would help me like process the things in my life. So I always think about that too. Like I'm always thinking about you guys in one way, shape, or form. Yes. I'm selfish. I'm stubborn. And I obviously have my blemishes, but genuinely I do want people to be happy. Cause I think I understand how it feels to be so miserable that you don't have any like hope inside of your life. You want to kill yourself again? Always just want to share, you know, my experiences with you guys. Cause who knows? Like, I think the, the reason why I'm the way I am is because of pastor Kim and how he shared all of his like struggles with me too. Pastor John for sure shared all, I was in the struggles with him like many times. And so it just made me have this heart of like, dang, we all really are interconnected through the struggle. Like when I say that, I don't just say like, Oh yeah, we're interconnected to struggle and get a clip. Like we all, every single person from the person who was hating on us to the person who loves us, to the people who don't know about us, there's struggle everywhere. It's a universal language. And so, I don't know. I just have the heart to be like, I look at certain people and I feel like, dang, it sucks that they have to struggle solely because they don't know like the things that I've learned. And so I want to like almost feel like a, I guess a duty or like a responsibility or obligation to like pass that on to people. Otherwise it would not like God wouldn't be happy, but it would just be really sad for me, you know? So I appreciate you guys too, that I can be vulnerable and you guys see certain blemishes in me and still be like, it's okay. Like we respect him. We trust him. You know, you guys have to also trust my leadership at the end of the day. And so that right there gives me a lot of hope when I want to quit. I always think about you guys too. I'm like, dang, like, and it's not in a way where like, I have to do this for Jeremy. I have to do this for Aaron. I have to do this for you guys, but it's more of like, how can I say that I care about people who've supported me from the mud, from the bottom. Right. And, and I just can just throw them away at the end of the day. Like, that's not cool either. And so it makes me really, I feel like God gave me you guys in a way to also keep me in check. Cause if I run away, I know Pastor Kim would still accept me. And I know that

you guys would too, but it just makes it that much difficult to be like, bro, you're not living for yourself anymore. You know, every time I see you back, Hey, remember when we were at a big, like we were growing a big old audience. I remember that. Yeah. You always say that you're so funny. You're like, okay, Johnny, well, you'll be one of those guys was like, you know, I used to have a million followers. Johnny's like, yeah, I used to be the high school quarterback. You went to the state championships peaked, peaked. But yeah, no, with that being said, this wraps up the just the whole podcast, right? Yeah. This wraps up the whole episode. I really hope that you guys can learn not to just wait on God and you know, God's delays are not, you know, rejection. It's usually protection and it's usually, you know, just nurturing. And so I hope you guys can learn that. And also just being vulnerable, right? If any of this stuff hits you guys to the core, please also share that. Not just with, you know, other people, but also share it in the comments. Let us know like what you loved about this part or loved about this episode. And yeah, also we have an app coming. I do have to say, so by this, by the time this comes out, I think the beta there, the beta has gone out. If you were signed up on the email list and you followed and you were a good boy or girl, you got early access. Heck yeah. It could be on this app right now when you're listening to this. Yeah. Yeah. So guys, Johnny put his heart and soul into this thing. This thing has been meticulously engineered to help you live spiritual life. And it's not easy. Like spiritual, I mean, spiritual life is so weird. It's easy and it's not, but this is going to help you guys immensely. And yeah. So if you guys want to get on the list or test it out, the link is in the description and you guys can start poking around. Amen. Hallelujah. With that being said, like every podcast we always end with a prayer.

So let us bow our heads and let us pray. Father God, thank you so much for giving us this wisdom. You've led many souls to the kingdom Lord, just through vulnerability and waiting for your delays and waiting for your timing. God, if there's any brothers and sisters who are listening and they're struggling with your timing, they're struggling with this expectation that you have to meet their timeline and you have to meet their goals. God, please put them at ease and show them that your time is the best time Lord. It's not called our timing, but God's timing for a reason. And that's because you know what's best for us. God, please help our hearts when it gets anxious. Help us when we feel very dependent on self and we rely on situations and circumstances rather than relying on you. What we do this many times because we want control, but God please show them that you've always been in control. And for those people who are struggling also with vulnerability and opening their hearts because they're afraid to be vulnerable and they're afraid to show all of their blemishes and weaknesses. Please remind them of second Corinthians chapter 12 verse nine to 10 in that when they are weak, they are strong and that they can glorify in those things because it takes a spotlight off of them and puts it a hundred percent onto you. God, thank you so much Lord for allowing us to be vulnerable, to have a space like this where we can all kind of share our hearts and be in the comments and follow and just have people know our heart posture. And please also teach people, Father God, that you see their heart posture and that you already made a clear, clear justification of their souls through Romans eight 31 to 34,

that you love them regardless of who they are and that there's no condemnation for them. Father God, and that condemnation is in fact from the enemy. You convict us towards you. You never condemn us away from you for that. God, we're forever thankful. And with that being said, we leave everything in your hands, God. And in Jesus name we pray. Amen. Amen. Like comment and subscribe. If you want a free daily devotional every single day, join the link in the description. If you want a daily to free daily devotional in your email every single day, join the landing page in the description. If you want to come to a free live event near you hosted by Johnny Chang, make sure to text events to 323-613-3577. And we'll let you know when there's an event in your area. All right, that's it. See you guys.