Home Work Pt. 5

Hey, what's up, everybody? This is Pastor Keith Battle here, and we're in part five today of our series Homework. And today we're going to be talking about do what's right. And let me share this with you. If you go and download Design Church app, it has on their devotions five days a week for every message we give. It's just an additional form of content that supports what you're getting on Sundays. So if you're a regular here, download Design Church app and you can get a weekly daily devotional with scriptures. It'll put timestamps on the message, breaks down the message and gives you further content to help you. So it's going to bless your life. Don't forget to comment, like, share and subscribe. And check out this service. We're going into the sanctuary. Homework, part five. Please stand with me as we go into the word of God. That was not planned. We have never done that song in the history of this church ever. I promise you that ain't on the set list. How they did that, I don't know. Praise God. Praise Him. But God knows this is a series called Homework. It is not one word. It is two words. We're using a play on the school homework. But what we're not talking about is we're not talking about school homework.

We're talking about the work we have to do in our homes to build our families. And everybody in the home has some work to do. And I don't just mean chores. That's part of it. But it's also our biblical responsibility, whether we're husbands or fathers, mothers, wives or children. We all have work to do in our homes. This is part five. Don't worry about parts one through four. If you want to go back and watch them, you can. You will understand this message without having heard the previous one. I want to go to Colossians chapter three because that's our foundational passage. And I'm reading four verses out of the Amplified Bible, beginning at verse 18. This is what it says. Wives, be subject to your husbands out of respect for their position as protector and their accountability to God as is proper and fitting in the Lord. Verse 19 says husbands love your wives with an affectionate, sympathetic, selfless love that always seeks the best for them and do not be embittered or resentful towards them because of the responsibilities of marriage. And I hear some lady saying he don't do none of that. Amen. That's OK. Verse 20 says children obey your parents as God's representatives in all things. For this attitude of respect and obedience is well pleasing to the Lord and will bring you God's promise of blessings. Verse 21 fathers do not provoke or irritate or exasperate your children with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive, nor by favoritism or indifference. Treat them tenderly with loving kindness so they will not lose heart and become discouraged or unmotivated with their spirits broken.

Somehow we're going to have to learn with God's help how to build our children without breaking them. God help us. You may be seated. My subtitle today is do what's right. Do what's right. If you don't hear anything else in this service, that's enough to go home with. Do what's right. Because even though I'm going to be talking about the parent and child relationship today, the reality is in every sector of your life, there's a charge to do what's right. What is the right thing to do in this situation and do that at work, at when you're out in the community, when you're tempted to do wrong, when you're given advice and you have a, you know, because every decision you make will have choices and options to it. And here's the thing. What is the right thing to do? Now, before we go into this specifics about parents and children, which is what this part is about, I want to make a contrast, a contrast and comparison for you. Looking at Colossians chapter three, verse 18, where we just started. And in that verse, it says wives. be subject to your husband's. But watch what it says after the Amplified Bible amplifies this thing. It literally connects it back and says, why is it subject to your husband's as is proper and fitting in the Lord? What that is, is a sacred boundary. What is being written here by the Apostle Paul is, is that although a wife is called to submit herself to her husband, not because he's greater than you are, you're equals, but because he has the authority. When you choose to arrange yourself under your husband, the Bible says, make sure you do it as is proper and fitting in the Lord. Why God would put that boundary out there as he's saying, don't just do whatever your husband says. Why he would say, do it as is proper and fitting in the Lord, is because that can go too far. That whole submission thing can go too far. Where a man is throwing his weight around and being dominant and being and bullying his wife, God says, no, you do it as is proper and fitting in the

Lord. That's the boundary on it. And then to even further bring about accountability, God says in the very next verse, following in verse 19, the very next verse after he tells wives to subject yourself to your husband, he tells the husband, but make sure you love your wives. Make sure you're agape your wife. That's an unconditional love. Make sure you make sure you have their best interest. What is that? That's God's checks and balance systems. That's God saying, yes, she is supposed to be submitted to you and you're supposed to love her and be kind to her. That's the checks and the balance right there. So that you, watch this, so that you don't abuse her submission. Then in verse 20, God says this to children. In this same passage, he says to the children, this is different right here. He says to the children, you obey, that's a Greek word, Hupo Akuo. It means to hear under. You hear under your parents. Watch this, not as is fitting in the Lord, do it in all things. So the children are given this directive to have a boundless submission to their parents. Now the wife has said, you submit, but do it only as proper and fitting in the Lord. But if you're a child, you do it just in all things. Why would he tell a child to be submissive to the parents in all things and tell a wife to be submissive to the husband only as it is fitting and proper in the Lord? Because the husband and a wife are equals. When you're a child, you ain't on the same level as your parents. And you need your parents at this point in your life to give you the direction and correction and protection that you need in order for you to be successful. Now let me say this, as we get into this message, a lot of you will want your children to hear this message and they're not here right now. Some of them are in children's church, some of them in the junior high ministry, high school ministry, or maybe they're not here. And I would suggest you watch it together. Some of you may be parents and your children will watch this and they'll check you because I'm going to talk to parents too. And your children might say, well, mom, what about what the pastor said about you? Like we got to be able to have those kinds of conversations because it can't just be one way. See, one of the best ways that you can gain your children's respect is by showing them that I am submitted to God too. That you're submitted to me, but I'm submitted to God. You're supposed to do what I tell you to do, but I'm doing what God tells me to do. And if God tells me to do something and I'm doing something wrong to you, then I need to make that adjustment and show you that I can submit to authority too.

I shared this story at one of the earlier services. I won't share which child it was because I've had, I have three children and I've had, you know, good times and hard times with all of them. But one of the times I was having a challenge with one of my children and I really didn't know what to do because I knew what I normally do was, that wasn't working. And, and so I went to my pastor. Pastor John K. Jenkins Sr. is my pastor. I went to that church and when I went to the church service on a Sunday when I wasn't preaching, and when I got to the service, he was preaching on parenting. Let me tell you, when you know you got the right pastor, your pastor will always have a word for you. I say, your pastor, well, if I ain't got a word for you, I ain't your pastor. My pastor always has a word for me. Amen. Now, I go there and everything he's saying in the message is what I need for my situation. I did follow up with him after the service only because I could, because I preached at his church. I have a different level of relationship than most of the congregants, but I didn't really even need to follow up with him because what he said in the sermon was enough. Some of y'all want to meet with me. This is our meeting right here. You don't need to meet with me. You need to do what you're hearing in the message because what you want is a prayer with Pastor Wood about this particular nuance in my, the specificity of my situation. No, just do what he, do what's right. That's what you're supposed to do, do what's right. Now back to this. When you're a child, God said, do obey your parents in all things. Now watch this, watch this. This is very important because I want to say two things to children before I get into this part of the message. I need every child to first of all understand that being a child is not about age. It's about dependency, because everybody is someone's child. I'm a grandfather and I'm still a child because my father's still living. Now so everybody is someone's child. What this passage is talking about when the Bible talks about a child, it has to do with primarily, do you still live under their household? And are you still dependent upon them financially? See, if there's a fiscal support you're getting from your parents, then if you're 47 and you're still on the family cell phone plan, guess what that makes you? You want to be grown, really be on your own. Make it make sense numerically. But if they're paying your bills, they don't got nothing. You can have hell in your face and all that. It don't make no difference. Anybody paying for stuff for you, you should automatically be in line. You should already be, yes sir, yes ma'am. That's how that works.

So the first thing I want you to understand is that everybody is someone's child. The second thing I want you to understand is that your parents were picked by God. I promise you they were picked by God. You didn't pick them. You did not pick your parents and I bet you say, yeah, and I wouldn't have either. And you didn't pick them. You weren't laid up in the maternity ward laying in there and looking out the maternity window and all them parents up and he said, I want to go home with him and him. No, God picked your parents. Your parents didn't even pick you. Your biological parents couldn't have pick you. It was a scientific process orchestrated by God. So your biological parents have the DNA that you needed to accomplish your purpose on this life. Even if they're not even involved in your life, that's who God picked to be your mother. You are not an accident. Even if they didn't mean to have you, the fact that you didn't get aborted, the fact that you didn't wasn't stillborn, the fact that you didn't die in the crib, a crib death, the fact that you here right now proves that you are a designer's original, that God fearfully and wonderfully made you. You might have this from your mother and you got this from your father. You don't even have to know him. You got a personality and a skill set and a proclivity that is part of your structure and what you've been built to do. And God made you. You are exactly where you're supposed to be from, and you are exactly a part of who you're supposed to be. You are exactly who you're supposed to be. Your parents may not have had a plan for you, but God had a plan for you. And he picked your parents. There's something you're supposed to get from your parents, and there's something you're not going to get from your parents. And all of it adds up. There's some things my father gave me, and there's some things my father left me bereft of, and all of it has made me who I am today. Amen. God didn't make no mistake. Your parents are who they're supposed to be. Even if you got adopted, he picked them. When you say, well, they picked me. Well, he made them pick you. He made them love you. He made them find you. He made them discover you. God has orchestrated your life for the people who are over your life. And it's important that you understand that so when they correct you and say something to you, you understand this ain't just coming from a human. This is coming from God's ordained authority over my life. So the Bible says in light of that, with that in mind, with that context in mind, that God chose my parents. Here's what God says. Now obey them. Obey your parents. Watch this, as God's representatives.

Now who is that talking about? Most people will assume that God's representatives are the parents. No, God's representatives aren't the parents. God's representative is the child. How do you know that pastor? Let me prove it to you. When I first started studying this whole parent child thing, I first discovered it in Ephesians chapter six verse one, where it says, children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Now let me break this verse down to you grammatically so that you could see what God is teaching in this verse. First of all, in every sentence there must be a subject and a verb, even if the subject is understood. Right? But every sentence requires a verb. In this verse, the verb is obey. That's a verb. The subject is children. The subject always carries out the verb. We got that right? In this verse is what is called a direct object. In a sentence a direct object is a direct object. direct object is always the recipient of the action of the verb. The direct object does not carry out the action. The direct object receives the action. Let's go to school. So that means the children do the obeying and the parents receive the obeying. Are we still together? Don't flunk this class. The key interpretive part of this verse is this phrase right here in the Lord. Everything you want to know about what God meant when He wrote that is in that phrase. It is called a prepositional phrase. There are basically two types of prepositional phrases. There is an agitable prepositional phrase, which means that phrase is trying to give further information about the subject or about the noun in the verse. Or there's an adverbial prepositional phrase, which is always telling you more about the verb. Because we're not absolutely sure, it's based on interpretation. Here's what we know. Either in the Lord, is agitable. If it's agitable, it's telling us more about the Children. What does that mean, Pastor? That means it could be written like this. Children in the Lord obey your parents. It always tells you more about the subject. If it's adverbial, it's telling you more about the verb. So you know what it's saying? Children obey in the Lord your parents. What we know that this phrase is not talking about is the parents. Break it down, Pastor. You know what it means? It means this, that you're supposed to be in the Lord and your obedience is supposed to be in the Lord, even if your parents are not in the Lord. Because some of you are saying, I ain't going to listen to you, you ain't even saved. Your parents are not, your parents are the direct object. Either you're supposed to be in the Lord or your obedience is supposed to be in the Lord. That's why it says, as God's representative,

you are God's representatives. So because you're supposed to be in the Lord and your obedience is supposed to be in the Lord, you're supposed to obey your parents because here it is, this is right. Do what's right. Everybody say that. Elbow somebody near you just gently and just say, do what's right. Now, I want to look at this one more time, but I want to look at it from this perspective. I want to change the translation, look at the same passage. Ephesians chapter 6, 1, that was the New King James Version. Look at the New Living Translation. Children obey your parents. Watch this, because you belong to the Lord. Now I want you to see something here. The New Living Translation does the interpretation for you. It is concluding that this is an agitable prepositional phrase. So it says, children are the ones that belong to the Lord. It's pretty cool. I wish I had the New Living Translation when I was studying back then. I didn't have it. This is the right thing to do. Honor, Greek word, tomao. It means to hold something in high regard. Your father and mother, this is the first commandment of the promise. If you honor your father and mother, two things will happen. It will go well with you, and you will live a long life on the earth. I don't know anybody that doesn't want to live a long, good life. So whenever I teach this, I always highlight this verse. I always talk about the reward of honoring and obeying your parents, instead of talking about what's right. See, verse one gives two reasons beyond that you're going to get. This right here is the fruit that comes from honoring your parents. This up here is the root of it. The fruit is you're going to have a long, good life. The root of it is I'm doing it because I belong to the Lord, and I'm doing it because it's just the right thing to do. Some things you got to learn how to do in life just because it's right. Whatever happened to that? You open the door for a lady when she comes by just because it's right, not because you want a reward. You speak to people when you greet them because it's right. You say thank you to people when they do something for you, do something kind for you, say something kind for you, because it's right, not because you want a reward. We got to learn how to do stuff just because it's right. And it is right to obey your parents. And it's not only right to obey them because of their position, it's the right thing to do because you belong to the Lord. And let me tell you something, whether they're in the Lord or not, you're supposed to do it. Unless they tell you to do something that's illegal. But I promise you, putting out the trash is not illegal.

I promise you. Pinky promise. Being told to clean your room is not illegal. I promise you. Doing what you're told when you're told. I ain't looking at y'all. It's not illegal. You can do anything until you want to do it. That, watch this. Delayed obedience is disobedience. Like what you heard wasn't valuable, you don't know who talked to you and you don't know the importance of them in your life. So this is, this must be taken into consideration, this must be understood. Now I've been saying in this series over and over again that Jesus Christ is our example. We cannot do homework without making Him our example. How can that be pastor? But if you're a wife, well, if you're a wife, the wife's role, part of her role is, is to arrange herself under her husband. Even though we're equal, I'm going to choose to follow you. Well Jesus did that with God the Father. He chose, God the Father and Jesus are equal. He chose, the Son and the Father are titles. It's not, it's not value, it's titles. Jesus arranged Himself under the Father. If He did that for somebody He's equal to, you can do that for your husband. If you're a husband, 1 Corinthians 11 3 says, the head of every man is Christ. The head of every man is Christ. The head of every man is Christ. Don't you make God a liar as a man. Christ is supposed to be your head. He ain't supposed to be on your staff. He's not supposed to just be on your board. He is the head of your life. That's where He's supposed to be. He's your model. You follow Him, so you follow His leadership. What, what, what, well, He's not just a role model for a husband and a wife. He's also a role model for children. Let me show it. Let me prove it to you. In Luke chapter 2, Jesus literally shows us how as the Son of God, He still honored and respected His parents. My son told me, man, I ain't never seen that in the Bible. Because most people, once Jesus is born, and He's way in the manger, and little baby Jesus, you don't see Him again until He's, you know, walking on water and all that. But there's one scene in the Bible when He's 12 years old. That's the only one we get. And we learn so much from it. Let's go to it. Luke chapter 2, verse 41. New King James version says, His parents went to Jerusalem. That's Jesus' parents, Joseph married and went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. Verse 42, And when He was 12 years old, how old was He? 12 years old, they went up to Jerusalem according to the custom of the feast. When they had finished the days as they returned, the boy Jesus lingered behind in Jerusalem, and Joseph and his mother didn't know it. They didn't know He didn't go home with them. Verse 44, But supposing Him to have been in the company, they went a day's journey and sought Him among

their relatives and acquaintances. So when they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem, seeking Him. Now, so it was that after three days they found Him in a temple. Imagine looking for your 12 year old for three days. And guess where they found Him? In the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. He was in church. And verse, and look at the next verse. And all who heard Him were astonished at His understanding and His answers. So He's not just asking questions, He's answering questions. 12, that's tag program. They still had that? I wasn't in there. Why are you agreeing? You know, we went to school together, Tammy. I was close to tag, Amen. Anyway, well, and all who heard were astonished at His understanding, His answers. So when they saw Him, His parents saw Him, they were amazed. And His mother said to Him, listen to this. He said, son, why have you done this to us? Look, your father and I have sought you anxiously. You had us worried. And watch what Jesus says. This is profound. He says, He said, why did you seek me? Did you not know that I must be about my father's business? They did not understand the statement which He spoke to them. Let me try to explain what He was trying to say. He's, this is a hard conversation because He's 12. These are adults. They were chosen to be His parents. And what He's trying to tell them is, I'm Him. I'm not normal. I wasn't in the club these last few days. I was in the temple helping the temple people out. I know I'm just 12, but before Abraham was, I am, even from everlasting to everlasting, I am God. I'm not normal. I'm not, I'm on an agenda. And even though, Joseph, respectively, you're my father, I have another father, and I'm on assignment. What He's trying to tell, and watch this, watch this. And the next verse says, they didn't know what He was talking about. If He went deeper, He was saying, you know, when y'all praying in the next room, guess who you're talking to? I'm listening in the next room. Because even now He's seated at the Right-handed father ever living to make intercession for us. He y'all don't understand what I'm saying I'm the one you're praying to and I'm the one you pray for. I'm your Savior. I'm your deliverer. I'm your creator I'm your Lord in me you live and move and have your breath. I'm different Mr. Him is here This is this is he's trying to tell this and he's 12 and guess what they say We don't understand what he said. So look at what he does to two parents Who are not on his level

The Bible says he went down with them Came to Nazareth and was subject to them make this thing were subject to them That word subject is the same word in Colossians 3 3 18 that women are told to have to their husbands to arrange Themselves under Jesus who put us on his parents, even though they were on his level He went down with them. It wasn't just geographically everything was a declension from where he was in that temple when he came down off the throne and came to song says you came from heaven to Earth to show the way every move Jesus made He came not to be ministered unto but to minister and to give his life a ransom for ministry He has been coming down. He has always come down He has always come down and he was willing to come down as a son of God to submit himself to two parents who Didn't even understand who he was and I don't care if you're smarter than your parents I don't care if you have more knowledge and you have more education Some of your parents went with didn't even finish school, but put your behind through school But you still gotta humble yourself. Turn me up a sir You still got a humble yourself and line up under your parents because this is what God did Because of that Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and favor with God and men and some of y'all can't Increase in your life because you're not under authority And just because your parents ain't on your level don't mean they ain't supposed to get your respect and Jesus is your model and If the Son of God can subject himself to parents Not because they're perfect, but because they're my parents Then you must too Now let me say something to the parents and I'm done I Like how y'all been sleep all morning and we come here it's dark in here. Yes. There's a Hang a plane and I love what I get to do Thank you, thank you

Can you stop wearing Dallas Cowboy stuff the church don't mean us that's kind of that's out of line I Listen, this is true. What was I about to say? Okay, let's talk to the parents Or as they say in Prince George County parents Let's talk to the parents fathers Don't provoke irritate exasperate your children With demands that are trivial unreasonable humiliating or abusive or how about this way by favoritism Let's talk about that Colossus 321 says you can provoke irritate exacerbate your children by favoritism Let me show you in the Bible There's a number of Bible examples and what I found out is interesting most of them in the same family this family had a pattern of Being of showing favoritism to children and it caused a lot of tension and it's Abraham's family Because Abraham had two sons at the time He had a son named Isaac who was the chosen child and he had a son named Ishmael, which was a situation And the situation and the son didn't get along But there was Isaac was his favorite. Anyway, anyway, let me go I want to go to Genesis 25 and verse 20 because Isaac is a father about to be a father and watch what he does Isaac was 40 years old. Keep that in mind. He was 40 years old when he married Rebecca Some of you singles you still got a little time Amen anyway, Rebecca the daughter he married Rebecca the daughter of Bethuel the Aramean from Panda and Ram the panorama Rome Yes You know, you know, yes Rebecca was a sister of Laban Isaac in verse 21 pleaded with Jehovah to give Rebecca a child for even after many years of marriage. She had no children Then at last she became pregnant it's

It seems as though, the Bible says, children were fighting inside of her. They were fighting each other inside of her, and she said, I can't endure this, she exclaimed. So she asked the Lord about it, and he told her, the sons in your womb shall become two rival nations. One will be stronger than the other, and the older shall be a servant to the younger. And sure enough, she had twins. Watch this. The first one was born so covered with reddish hair that one would think he was wearing a fur coat, so they called him Esau. The word Esau means rough. You name your son rough? Don't expect the Dean's List and Magna Cum Laude and 4.0. That's rough right there. Amen. Expect him to come in, he's busy with the school card, he's fighting. You named him that. The other twin was born, and his hand was on Esau's hip. Them jokers was WWE in the womb. They called him Jacob, which means grabber or supplanter, and he lived up to it. Be careful what you name. Stop naming kids cute names. Find out what the name means. Call somebody what you hope they'll become. How about that? Or just go back to the old names like Mary and George. Just name your child George, that'll get them straight. George Jackson, that's your name. And go to school, George Jackson. Isaac, watch this y'all. Isaac was 60 years old when the twins were born.

Now how old was he when he got married? Sometimes you have to wait on your miracle. That was 20 years. But I want to say something about that. As a representative of people who should not still be having kids, I want to say to you, God didn't tell me to say it, but I just want to say to you, just as a friend, if you 60, you don't need to be having kids. I know you think you still got it, but you're totally game off. I'm going to tell you, I'm going to prove it to you, it happened in the service. Where's that little girl? When y'all was up on the stage, it was a little girl that kept running to them steps. Now, I promise you, I was sitting right there. All I could say was, please don't. I ain't get up or nothing. I ain't got that kind of energy. I can hurt myself going to try to get her. Somebody else better get her. I can't do nothing. What am I going to do? I'm 60, we're out here at the playground. Push me, daddy. No, use your legs. That's how you get to run. You got to learn how to swing. All you can say when you're 60 is, stop. I ain't getting on that floor. Stop. Play. Stop. Ain't nobody trying to deal with that.

You done, it's over. Just look at somebody that look like they 60 over and just say, do what's right. I know you got a girlfriend and she trying to have your baby. Don't do it. Don't do it. Now, I'm going to stay out of your business. Let's go back to the story. Watch this, y'all. This man is 60 and they got twins. You got to have staff when you do that, boy. As the boys grew, Esau, rough, became a skillful hunter. Jacob was a quiet sort. He liked to stay at home. Pay attention to that. Isaac's favorite was Esau because of the venison he brought home. Rebecca's favorite was Jacob. Now, what kind of family is this? The mama has her favorite. The father has her favorite. Can you see the divisiveness in this family? It created a mess. Maybe they didn't intend to create a mess, but it was a mess. And here's where the truth is. Impact doesn't care about intent. You don't have to intend to create a mess. You have favoritism, it's going to be a problem. It caused sibling rivalry between them. Because here's the problem. The problem is they don't have unconditional love for these children. Their love is conditional.

I'll prove it, pastor. First of all, Esau's love for his son, I mean, Isaac's love for Esau is totally transactional. I love him because, it's right there, of the venison he brings me. Now, if he grew up and he's able to hunt now, he's probably in his 20s. That means, guess what? How old is Isaac now? He's in his 80s. So you know how I say, go out there and get your googly eyes. Get your pops from me. So he's one of them parents that love their kids because of what they give. You see this watch my son gave me? Yeah, look girl, come on, look at this car. My daughter gave me this car. And when you love your children like this, you train them to be performance oriented. So he's totally, totally transactional in his love. Rebecca's not transactional. She's preferential. She loves Jacob because he's like her. He likes staying at home. He's quiet. They probably watch TV together. They ain't have TV, but you know what I'm saying. This is a mess and you know what it does? It creates tension between the siblings. Sibling rivalry is triggered by parental favoritism because when children grow up in a home where the love is scarce, they fight each other over the love they're not getting.

So Esau wants what Jacob has. I want mom to love me too. And Jacob wants what Esau have. What son doesn't want his father's love? And this created not only sibling rival, but division between the husband and wife because God had already told them before she had the babies that Jacob was the chosen one. All they got to do is follow God's plan. But instead Esau tries to force the blessing. I mean, Isaac tries to force the blessing on Esau. When his wife finds out, he's trying to bless Esau. She and Jacob get together and trick Isaac because he's old, tricks him, and they end up tricking Esau out of what God was going to give him without tricking him. See, when you don't do things the right way, it's going to always cost you. You can get it, but you won't enjoy it. Because now he's got the blessing, but he's on the run because Esau wants to kill him. And so his mother says, get out of here, go to my brother Laban's house. And watch this, Jacob and his mother never spoke again the rest of his life. He never saw his mother again. And it all started with, he's my favorite. And as bad, even though they reconciled, later on Esau and Jacob, this messed their whole family up. And as bad as this situation was, this is going to shock y'all

as traumatic as Jacob's life was being in a family where there was favoritism, guess what? When he had children, he did the same thing. But that's what his father did. His father was Abram's favorite, Isaac. Isaac's favorite was Esau. His mother's favorite was Rebecca. So guess what Jacob did? How many of y'all, when you were growing up, you were, when you were growing up and you said, when I get old and had kids, I ain't going to never be like my parents. How many of y'all said that? And then you grew up and had kids and guess what? You just like your parents. Look at what Jacob did. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob. Jacob loved Joseph more than he did any of his other sons. Because Joseph was born when Jacob was very old. I told y'all stop having kids. Well, that's the problem right there. There's a certain days when your judgment is off. And see, when you have kids, part of the problem is when you have kids, you got to be, you got to have good, clean judgment. So Jacob had given Joseph a fancy coat, which showed that Joseph was his. So guess how his brothers felt? They hated him. It would not be friendly to him.

I don't have time to tell y'all everything Joseph went to because he was his father's favorite and his brothers hated him. And his father had him repeat what happened to him. His brother tried to kill him over that stuff. You would think he would learn. See, this becomes a family system. We hate it when it's happening when we're growing up. Then we do the same thing. Is this making sense to y'all? Listen, I went to chat Charles, Patricia, and Thomas. I mean, chat George, Patrick, and Thomas. And I asked them, I said, give me a favoritism checklist. And this is what they gave me. So I want to read them to you. I'm coming to a close. Periodically, ask yourself as a parent of children, do my children know they're equally loved? If you got more than one child. Do I spend individual time with each child? Do I praise each child's strengths? Do I compare siblings? Do I discipline one child more harshly than another for similar behavior? Do I exercise behavior? Do I excuse behavior from the child I'm closest to? Do I have a favorite child, even if I would never say it publicly? Do I communicate more easily with one child?

Have I unintentionally created an alliance with one child? Would each of my children say my parent loves me for me? Now, when you go through this, you just go through this, you screenshot. if you want to just say, you know what, I'm going to see how God would have me to operate in this, but just keep this in mind, do what's right. Don't try to fix all of this. It's going to overwhelm you and you're going to do none of it. Just pick one thing and say, you know what, I'm going to work on that or two things. You got it. I'm going to close with this. The parenting context requires unity for it to be most effective. What does that mean? That means that the husband and the wife or the mother and the father have got to be unified because these kids will play you. They will play you before you even know they're a player. They will work the punk parent over the soft parent. They just do that. You just told them no and they done went around there and went and got the other parent to buy into it. And so, and then you get tired of it. You said, go ask your father, go ask your mother. No, you got to have meetings. Children are triggers of meetings. You got to have meetings about the children behind closed doors so that you can get on the same page as a parent because they will manipulate the situation. And here's the thing, you got to have a meeting knowing that you're equal. There's no one parent that should, cause sometimes one of the parents will be like, well, you know, the way I was raised, cause you think you're a better parent because you're a man or you're a woman or you came from a different family. It don't matter. God gave both of us to this child and we are co-leaders of this child cause he chose two parents for these children and both of their opinions are important. So sometimes a decision will have a father way over here and a mother way over here on a decision. And so, you know, some, sometimes you just got to meet right here. This is what we're going to decide. And everybody needs to leave the meeting feeling respected, heard, and understood. Nobody should leave the meeting feeling like they got to just acquiesce to what the other person says or because sometimes a child will do something and it'll make one parent madder than the other one, more upset than the other one, ready to be aggressive and the other one's just got the balance. And you can't, if you're the one who's most upset, your judgment is off and you can't expect the other parent

to just match your energy. And now you say, you don't respect me. You don't have my back because they don't want to act up like you're acting up. No, that's why you got two parents. You shouldn't make a parent, you shouldn't make your partner, your, your, your, the other parent agree with you to prove their love and support of you. The child needs both parents. Let me tell you something. If we did that, the child be dead. I'm ready to kill him. Well, let's kill him. I'm with you. No, somebody said, no, don't, don't kill him. Let's just maim him. Let's dismember him, but let's not kill him. This is so important because it takes, that's why, that's why parents should stay together. I said, that's why parents should stay together. Al Green. Let's stay together, loving you whether, whether, times are good or bad. Come on, yeah. Let's stay. See how them old songs hit? But you don't stay together because you just want to be, I just want to be free. Free. Someone said, let him use you. This ain't, this ain't even the Bible. He said, let him use you. Now you're preaching all that Bible. Really, that's why parents should stay together. People always saying, I ain't staying together for the kids. What kind of, what kind of selfish? I definitely, there were definitely times when I stayed together for the kids because I know what it's like to have parents that didn't stay together for the kids. I know that trauma. And maybe if you understood that trauma, you fight a little more for the marriage. I'm not trying to beat you up for leaving. I'm just saying some, I'm talking to somebody that's still in there. That maybe you still got a shot at it. You're like, you don't know my situation. I can just look at you and tell the situation. I'm off the chain today. If you, if you, if you. stay together for the children. How about the vows? How about the promise you made? None of that matters. And y'all was in love. Went to Cancun. I tell people all the time, you know what? This is what y'all did. Y'all got married in front of me. In front of witnesses. And uh I know me and my wife bought y'all pots and pants. Now I remember when we went on the registry and got them. So y'all done broke up? So y'all got married in front of us and broke up behind us? Nah, bring us all back to the same. We going back to Cancun for this. And I want my pots back. I want everything back I paid for. You don't get to do that. Where the pots? Let's talk about the pot. My son went to a movie the other day. I'm just gonna tell y'all that. My son went to a movie the other day and he said, dad, the movie started. We had to leave. He said, me and my wife, we had to leave out the movie theater cuz they said emergency, get out the theater. I said, what happened? He said,

somebody got shot. Oh, man. They didn't die. He said, somebody got shot. So, I'm thinking he gonna say, I'm so concerned about these people. My son said, I ain't wanna know when they gonna give me my money back for that movie. He said, brother, what is your problem, man? You don't get. What is wrong with you, man? He ready to go back to the theater. Hey, what about the 615 Saturday? We was in. Man, I'm thinking he was saying, you know, I just pray that everybody came out of that good and nobody has any life threatening news. He said, where my money? I was making a point and here's the point. Stay together. Yeah. Because what's this? When the marriage is severed, when the parents are severed, how can the parenting stay strong? We co-parenting. Let me tell you something. First of all, you're putting your child on the custody battle. Slingshot. Yo, yo. You got him this week. I got him over and we like proud of it. Yeah, we half and half. I got him half here. Like like like like it's a like it's some kind of stuff. So, then they gotta live under one rules over here and other different rules over here and everybody frustrated. How about? So, so you say, but I ain't going to stay together for the kids. I'm saying some of these kids should be helping you to stay together. Amen. You look at some of these sons especially and say, they ain't going to make it if I leave. Come on now. That would be an unfair advantage of them and I love you enough to stay hurt to make sure you okay until I get this right. I'm saying some truth in here today. Everybody stand up. I'm going to leave you alone. I could say more but I'm going to leave you alone because you got these babies with you and they they got on white. That's why I suited up

just for y'all today. Psych. Only reason I'm wearing these suits because I can get in them again. That's all. I'm going to be suited. I'm going to be suited every day now. I'm going to go to the gym. Let's see. What kind of church is this? Somebody say my church. This is my church. This is really good. That's why we go here. The Bible says all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. That's everybody. Amen. That's all of us. I know we're talking about doing what's right but none of us have always done what's right. That's why we need grace. Amen. Sometimes we left the right thing undone. We ain't even do the wrong thing. We just didn't do the right thing. I ain't doing, I ain't, I don't know. And sometimes we did the wrong thing but here's, here's the thing you might say to me, pastor, I've done the wrong thing in the past and pastor, I, I've been, I'm doing the wrong thing now but what grace in this space gives you the opportunity to do is to do the right thing now. Yes, sir. Do what's right. Now. So that when your head hits the pillow tonight, you can say it wasn't easy but I did what was right. Yes, sir. When you look in the mirror, even with tears coming down, you can say, I did what was right. Yes, sir. It takes maturity to do the right thing. It takes maturity to even come down the aisle and ask somebody to pray for me. Pray for me that I'll do the right thing. Yes. Because our pride will keep us in our seats. I see you. Our pride will keep us where we are. Come on ministers and all the councils. God will keep us there because for some reason there's a little fourth grader or eighth grader still in us that's still more concerned about what people think than anything else.

It's not that we never needed to come to the altar, it's that our reputation was more important than our repentance. And instead of saying, excuse me, I need to, excuse me, excuse me. That's what you got to do sometimes and go up to the altar. Instead of doing that, we're so worried about what would they think of me? Ain't nobody even thinking about you like that. And if they're thinking about you like that, isn't it better for them to see you going up to the altar than to see you crashing and burning in pride? Why did you go to the altar? I'm just asking for the Lord to help me do what's right. I think we need to do different altar calls. Instead of telling people to come up here for prayer, I think we need to say, everybody come up to the altar and you just stay back there if you don't need it. That's what we should do. That's what we should do. You know what I'm saying? Because maybe that will free somebody up. But I don't know how to set you free other than to say, if you don't move, he can't move. But pastor, I can get it right with God right here. Why do you have to get it right with God right there? Because of pride and pride always comes before a fall. So if you need prayer to do the right thing because you need to know what is the right thing for me, pray for me. Or you need prayer to say, I think I know the right thing to do, but somebody pray with me to get the courage to do it. Come on now. Come on now, because I promise you we're way over time in this service. So if you're going to come, come now. My storage and I. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. I see you. Come on, come on, come on. Thank you all for clapping. Thank you for clapping and encouraging people who are making decisions for God. When you can step off the side, step on down. When you clap like that, you know what you're telling them? You're doing the right thing. You're doing the right thing. You're doing the right thing. You're doing the right thing. Come on y'all. You're doing the right thing. You're doing the right thing. Maybe your next right thing is to join this church or to get baptized or to start joining a small group or start serving or take a class. Maybe that's your next step. Maybe that's the next right thing for you, but don't just stay where you are. Do the right thing. Do what's right. Lord. That's what he was. Am I available?

I'll do. Use me. Me. Glory, glory, glory. One more time, one more time. Me. Woo. Here I am, Lord. Here I am, Lord. My storage is empty. I can make room for him. And you can move that over. Danielle, come and close us in prayer, please. Hey, listen, that was homework part five. Challenging message. Challenging for children. Challenging for parents. We can only do what we're supposed to do. Do what's right on our side. As a child, as a parent, what's the right thing to do? Maybe to have some conversation around it. Hey, ask your child, what'd you think about the message? How'd that land with you? Or as a child to the parent, hey, what did you think about the message? Not to start an argument, but just can we have a conversation to bring us closer together and maybe bring some healing in our families? That's the goal of this series to bring miracles and healing to our families. And I pray that that's happening for you and everybody tuned in. And guess what? See you next week right here at Zion Church for part six of homework.