You Are Loved | Tessa

Welcome to the series, You Are Loved. My goal is to share people's incredible stories in the hopes of encouraging you to keep going no matter how hard it is and to show you how loved you are by your heavenly father. This week I have the honor of sharing with you Tessa's story. Pain medication after childbirth led Tessa down a dark path of addiction. She became stuck in a cycle of using drugs, getting herself clean, and then relapsing. Each time she fell a little harder until she'd lost her home, her business, and custody of her children. She kept thinking she could use just one more time until she lost something she shouldn't have been able to get back, her life. Watch to see what happened. Tell me a little bit about yourself. My name is Tessa. I'm 39. I'm from Worcester, Tennessee. Welcome Tessa. I'm glad to have you today. Tell me a little bit about your life. Well, my childhood was pretty good. Actually, it was great and I struggled a little bit in school. I was quiet and shy, but other than that, I had a great childhood. Has your life always been great or did you go through a season where it wasn't? I started drinking when I was 14, smoking weed when I was 16, cocaine when I was 18. I got pregnant with my first daughter when I was 19, Freyana. I stayed clean for a while, and then when I had her, the doctor gave me hydros. So that just started a whole new thing, pain pills. I would leave her at home for weeks at a time. And then I got pregnant with my middle daughter, Callie, when I was 21. And I couldn't stop using them when I was pregnant with her. I started using more, and then I got introduced to crack, and it was just ... I just couldn't

stop. Also, DCS came in after I gave birth. My mom took both of them, took custody of both of them, and I just stayed out there. I got pregnant with my third child, Haven, when I was 23. And when I got pregnant with her, I decided enough was enough. I had my dad come pick me up, and I stayed clean for a long time. Got custody back of them, got married, was doing really good for a long time. And then I got introduced to Adderall. So after that, those got really expensive. So then I got introduced to meth, and then it was just gradual. My life started falling apart again. My daughter, Callie, got diagnosed with a brain tumor. And I thought I could keep my addiction under control, but I couldn't. I had done doctor's appointments and all this stuff. I just couldn't. So eventually I lost custody of all three of them again, lost our house, our business. That happened pretty quick. And then after I lost custody of them, I just didn't care. I started using the needle, and before I knew it, I was homeless, just a mess. In 2019, I went into True Purpose for the first time. I stayed about 90 days, and then relapsed. Came back in, I stayed for a year almost. And then I relapsed three weeks before I was supposed to graduate. And that relapse, I overdosed. I was, I mean, I was dead on arrival. And that's when I realized I was made for more. I couldn't just do it just one more time, and yeah, so I came back into Chihuahua Bus and I've been there ever since. Wow. Do you think it was just the fear of dying or was there something different about the

third time that you entered the program? I fully surrendered the third time. I was laying in the hospital bed thinking, what have I not done that I need to do? Because people, my mom always told me whenever I was using, she was like, people get clean every day. Why can you not? And so, I fully surrendered after everyone found out that I had relapsed because I had told lie after lie, I'm just trying to stay in the program because I didn't want to go back out. My cats, even these, let me stay at their house until I could get back in the program and I'll always be thankful for them. But yeah, I just fully surrendered. And so, that was how long ago? January 6, 2023. Okay. Yeah. Wow. So, it's been a year and a half? Yeah. And how does life look today? It's amazing. I get to see my kids a lot. I don't have custody of them yet, but I get to see them. Actually, we moved out of True Purpose May 17, and me and my husband got a little duplex in Strawberry Plains. And I work. I don't have to be late to work looking for something. I like to be on time now, which is a change. I'm loving life. There's a peace that I've never felt before.

That's beautiful. Well, congratulations. Thanks. That's amazing. You're not the only person that's ever tried to fix it, and then gone backwards, and tried to fix it, and gone backwards. And I think it's a cycle that a lot of people find themselves stuck in. They try really hard in their own might, right, to get clean, and then fail, and then feel a lot of shame and guilt. What would you like to say to somebody going through that that maybe could have helped you get to where you are today sooner? Don't let your pride get in the way. I didn't want to tell anybody I was struggling, because there was a lot of people that looked up to me where I was in the program longer, or whatever. And don't let your pride get in the way. Talk to somebody. That's good. Yeah. Because I do think we don't want to open up and share. I mean, you know, you put it on the front and act like you're okay when you're really not. Yeah. Just, it's kind of like in scripture when it says, confess your sins one to another. It's not so that the other one can condemn you. It's so that you have that freedom of being vulnerable and having someone to share with, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's good. It's the least little thought, and I'm talking to my husband about it.

I don't ever want to go back. It's amazing. So when you lived in addiction, what did the world tell you love was? And how is that different today? I didn't know what love was. It was more of what I can get from somebody or what they can get from me. And now love is, it's an action. It's showing up and doing things for each other and just actually being there. Yeah. I think it's good. Jesus is always there, right? And so he's a perfect example of love. Yeah. And so we just try to be like him, right? I love that. Is there anything else about your story or anything else you wanted to share with someone in a similar situation? Just reach out. There's so many people, so many organizations that can help. And just reach out. That's good. Wow. I appreciate you coming. I know this isn't easy, especially. You were, you know, just that fear of being vulnerable and real with people about your struggles. And that's a hard thing. But when you open up, not only is it healing for you, it's healing for everyone listening to you. Because they're gonna see a girl

who looks like she has it all together, but that's willing to admit that she doesn't. And it's gonna give them just that strength and courage to reach out and get help and realize that there are people there that wanna walk with them. Yeah, so thank you for coming and sharing. And we're gonna be praying that everything just continues to go amazing for you, because I know God's gonna use you in a big way. Wasn't that an amazing story? I love how Tessa finally realized that she was made for more. I pray that you realize that too. I also love what she said about pride. Do not let it get in the way of reaching out to someone to let them know if you are struggling. There are people that love and care about you. There are also organizations that want to help. One of those organizations is True Purpose Ministries. This is the one Tessa went through and talked about. Check out their website so that you can find out how they can help you live a sober life and find your God-given purpose. Join us next week to hear another encouraging story and be sure to subscribe or follow so you never miss an episode. Most importantly, I pray you know that no matter how far you or someone you love have run from God, it is never too late. There is always hope because you are loved.