Abandoned by Others, Loved by God

stories in the hopes of encouraging you to keep going no matter how hard it is and to show you how loved you are by your Heavenly Father. This week I have the honor of sharing with you Ani's story. Abandonment and abuse as a child caused Ani to harbor a lot of anger. She desperately wanted a loving family, not the dysfunctional one she was given. She decided to run as far away as she could. Ani lied to try to get out of her country to come to America hoping for a fresh start. She should have been rejected but the Lord did a shocking miracle instead. You have to hear what happened. Tell me a little bit about yourself. Yeah my name is Ani Witt. As you can tell by my accent I know from here. I moved to the States around 10 years ago. I'm Mary and I have a three-year-old baby. So tell me a little bit about what your life used to be like. Yeah so my mom and dad I grew up in a very very dysfunctional home. I used to joke around saying that if my family had a picture would be next to the sponsor, the picture, the word dysfunctional. It was a lot of physical views, all kinds of views and I grew up like them. My mom actually had to leave my dad when I was a little baby to go somewhere else because he was very abusive and she had to leave my siblings behind. That created a lot of issues with my siblings. After a few years later my mom wanted to come back to see if she can get a family by her family bag but we didn't put a guard first. We just wanted to do on our own and it created a lot of issues. One of my siblings in the period that she was gone got a abuse and this person took it really hard and instead of looking for help, looked at me as a threat and hated me for it. So the next thing is, 10 years of my life, I got abused by this person, physically abused. So some days I didn't know if he was going to make it. I went days and days without going to school. And I remember crying out to God, to my family for help and nobody came to help me or risking me from the situation. I grew up with a lot of anger issues. I hated everyone and everything and I also felt hate because my dad wasn't there to protect me from all of this. So growing up in the world, I was facing physical abuse by this person and I also felt the rejection from men through my dad. As much as I wanted to have him in my life, he

didn't want me and he made it that very clear. So for years I resent that man because I'm my dad. I remember one time asking God or whatever, whoever was out there, to help me out because the abuse was getting much more, I don't know what the word she used to. Ten sentence. And I remember telling when I was 13 or something, a class made at school. And she made me a promise that she would call me every day after I came back from school to make sure I was alive because I just didn't want it. And she did, she called me every day. We grew up to be best friends. And I remember, and this went on into the first years of college actually. And I remember one day, I think it was like 18 or something. And I knew that this person was gonna hurt me that day, and I just knew it. So I actually had two knives around the house where this person was gonna attack me 'cause I knew where would this person attack me. And I was prepared to do something to kill this person. This person came to the house and attacked me. And I immediately ran to the knife to try to defend myself. And I actually put the knife to this person's throat. And I never heard something so loud in my life. And I heard something from right here, and he dropped the knife and ran, and I said, "No, this person deserve this." And I have all the rights to do this. And I heard it again and said, "No, this is not the plans they have for you."

So I dropped the knife. My best friend's house was, I think like 10 minutes from my house, I think I got there in like four or five minutes. I run so fast. And she's like, "Do you kill this person?" And I'm like, "No." But I was very close to you doing that. I remember the night I ran again and said, "God, I just need you to deliver me from this." That week a group of people came to my college and said that they were having a program exchange in America, but you had a condition, and that you had to speak English fluently. And I'm like, "I'm sure I'm gonna speak full in English "when I guess elected for this program." But I didn't realize that. So I clicked the ice book Fluent English, so I lied. And so when I could submit all my paperwork, I sent them money to get with this program. And literally I know that a week afterwards the program sent me a match with a family in America and told me that I was gonna become an American six months. - To be an au pair? - To be an au pair. - Did you know any English? - No. - Okay. - So I totally lied, and I was like,

"Okay, well, what are I gonna do now?" These person had, the person that used to abuse me actually left my home at that time. And I was, gave my life in order, get figured out who I am, trying to pursue my dad. I got a match to be an au pair. I remember going to the organization, telling them they sent me an email saying, "Hey, Annie, we want each of you to come." These days, next day, to practice your English to have an appointment with an embassy. And at that moment, I'm like, I had to tell them the truth. I sat down with the principal, the organization, and I told them, "I lied to you, I actually don't speak any English." She got so mad at me. She said, "Like, in all our years of business, "nobody ever did this to you or to us. "You are gonna put a bad reputation in our organization. "You're not going to get the visa. "This is gonna be really bad." That they was brother wars day of my life. That they also, I tried to reach out ever again. I know his daughter that he just never wants to see me again. I remember the bus coming back to my house feeling very hopeless like I lied to this organization. I probably no going to America and the man that I love the most is telling me that doesn't love me. The appointment was like for a week ahead. I don't think it was a Wednesday that I met with the organization and was the next Wednesday that I was going to have the appointment. I

remember going to the embassy, the US embassy. If you ever mentioned the US embassy in our country is so protected. They do searches and it's insane. You have a sense of nervousness but I just felt peace. So I remember going to my appointment and you have a person that speaks Spanish to you and then you have the council that makes a final decision and tells you if you make it or not. I went with a pair of wine and spoke Spanish to me and said he said you don't speak English. The council is going to tell you no and I will recommend he just say no because you lied. So I remember sitting and he said go back to see down. I mean the council will speak with you but he will tell you no because you lied. I remember telling Gaga if you can do one thing for me. Just let me tell something to the council that will shock him. I don't know. Something that will make him in pair to talk back to me and it's okay. He can give me my visa. So I remember approaching the window. He called my name and I just told him that he was the most handsome man I ever seen in the world. Everyone was looking at me like what I was doing to the council and he couldn't even talk or do anything but he wrote com Wednesday 3 p.m. to get your visa and he put it on my passport and he couldn't even talk because I guess I shocked him. He gave me back the paper and my mom was waiting with me outside and she's like you didn't get it right. I'm like no. He said that I can come and get it next Wednesday. It's like she was shocked too but Gaga took that lie to truly heal me. I came to America six months after that initial interview. I remember I landed in Juneteenth in New York and I remember seeing that family. I don't know if they were going to vacation and coming from vacation but I just never seen people so happy in my life. I remember asking that if it is available I want it. If people can be happier I want it. People can have families that love each other and are functional. I want it. I didn't have like a moment with Gaga or anything but I remember asking for a family like that. After a few days in New York I came to San Jose, California. Three months after I landed in San Jose I met my husband Lee and he was the first Jesus I ever met. I was very hard. I had a lot of trauma. I was a horrible wife when I met him, a horrible girlfriend. He still loved me and wanted me to be the Jesus that I never met or seen. He truly brought me from the darkness into his glorious light because of him I know God today. So he represented Jesus through his love and compassion and grace and then you decided

you needed to know Jesus for yourself. He showed me Jesus but... many things and I remember as COVID we moved in March in actually June of 2020 from California's Tennessee and I always said that the Lord brought me from California into the promised land because he really wanted to change me and work in me like Tennessee's been the best thing that ever happened to me because I met a group by church that had changed me and has filled me to get to know God in a deeper way. Actually my first life group, the leader of the life group was saying that we were watching John Bevere and John Bevere was saying if you truly have Jesus in your heart you will have a change of nature. But I was still angry, I was still resentful, I was still holding into so many things in my heart and I just felt like that word was for me and yeah when the video ended he said I just feel like somebody here needs to give, truly gives his life to Jesus and everyone was a Christian in that group and I remember we all set a break together but that they actually gave my heart to Jesus and he's been working on my heart, changing my heart, truly letting it go, my anger, my resentment, my lies, everything that all that messed up things even my anger to this person that abused me for so many years every time I think about this person I think this person was broken to and I actually love this person because God loved me through my lies, through my things that I have done and the last piece of the anger was last year I was talking to a friend about my dad and well actually I don't talk about him a lot because it represents this pain for me, this friend was talking to me like you never talk about your dad or you know and this person said any of you see him as broken, like he probably wanted you but he was so broken that he really couldn't take care of you and it really changed my mind about my dad and I remember in a drive back home that night because it was in life group again I was just like I hated my dad for so long I was asking forgiveness from God and I remember just so much peace that night like something to have like something to sleep fit and that night I didn't pray oh I wish you'd die or anything like that but dad I love you and you are broken just me and it was one of the best nights ever just being able to forgive today when I pray about my dad I pray that he meets the Lord that he gets an encounter like I did with God yes so the Lord has brought you peace and forgiveness and what a weight that is lifted off right

don't you just physically feel so much lighter when you can see someone as broken instead of as the offender you see them as just a broken lost person it changes everything doesn't it does yeah it does wow so every person that hurts me or or I try to I tried to look at it as broken we were all broken in certain areas of our lives and we have no right to be offended you know so I just every time that I try to feel frustrated or often there would somebody I just saying Lord take these from me because I have no right for this but I also see them as broken and it has changed my life yes so talk for a minute about since the Lord is doing all these things and he's changing your heart and changing everything right and giving you such peace how does life look today what's different is amazing I used to get nightmares every night and so I truly give him my life to Jesus like I don't have no nightmares like I truly sleep songly and sweet like the Bible says I have just just My marriage is awesome. Like as a mother, I'm doing a good job. Like I used to think sometimes I would do such, I would be such a bad mother. I'm like, no, I'm actually doing a great job as a mother. Like, you know, like I had that family that I pray about in New York. Like I gave me that, you know, that happy family. Like we love, we do things as a family. Like I have brought people in my life that has poured out in my life, that has brought me closer to Jesus, that had taught me about how Jesus loves and what Jesus do and has not put condemnation or anything like that in my life. I truly have mercy and kindness in my life. So it's been just, I don't know. I feel like I'm in heaven by an earth, you know what I mean? So, yeah.

- That's awesome. And clearly you learned English. - Yes, I know I speak English, you know. So now 10 years later, I speak a little bit of English, I guess. So, yes, it's exciting, yeah. - That's awesome. - Yes. - So being someone who dealt with a lot of brokenness and that pain of rejection is so real. And so many people deal with that pain. Rejection from the person who abused you, rejection from your father, rejection even from the woman at the organization, right. What would you say to someone today who's feeling that rejection and just feels like it's hopeless and they don't wanna go on, nobody loves them, nobody cares about them, what would you say to them? - God has you. You know, he said that I have plans for you. I have plans to like prosper you and no harm you. Like he promised to us and he is with us. He said, "I'm closer to you than a brother." You know, our siblings are being annoying sometimes. So like he is so close to us. So I just wanna tell you that God has you. God is with you, he is for you. You know, I didn't know these things before but if somebody would have told me these before, I would have been in such a more peaceful way of my life

that I just wanted the people that see this to have peace and knowing that God has that in their hands. - Yes, that's good. So let's talk about love really quick because I know that your mom loved you and that your dad and his brokenness is to the best of his ability loved you, right. But you certainly didn't feel that love and you didn't really know what love was supposed to look like, right. And how it was supposed to feel and be. And today you do. So how would you describe love then versus how you see love now? - I see them like us broken. Like you just can't love anyone when you're broken. You just messed up. So it's all about yourself is selfish. Much of the I see it as almost like whole, you know and I know it sounds cliche but like I love people holy, you know, 'cause God loves me holy, he knows. And I use a little Lee as example because he was the first love like I've ever received. Like, you know, and he loved me even when I didn't have anything when I was angry all the time when I was frustrated when I was yelling all the time. He loved me even so I was all those things. And God loves us through all those things as well. No matter what.

So I see as whole, like you're whole when I see love as a whole now. - That's beautiful, you know. - Well, Ani, I know this is the first time, right? - Yeah. - That you've shared your story and so I know that took a lot of courage and strength and a lot of prayer. So I appreciate that you were willing to open up because I know there's a lot of people who have felt those same things. And so to see that you were able to overcome that and find that forgiveness and that peace is a beautiful thing and I know it's gonna bring people hope. So thank you for coming and sharing your story. - Wasn't that beautiful? There are so many things we can learn from Ani's story. First, that God answers our prayers, not always in the way we expect, but always according to His perfect plan. Second, when you show love, compassion and grace to others, you just might be sharing with them some of the characteristics of Jesus that they've never seen before. When you realize how incredible his love is for you, it allows you to love others, even those who have hurt you or let you down. Join us next week to hear another encouraging story, and be sure to subscribe or follow so you never miss an episode. Most importantly, I pray that you know, no matter how far you or someone you love have run from God, it is never too late. There is always hope because you are loved. [BLANK_AUDIO]