I am a survivor of Human Trafficking! | You Are Loved

I am one of the case managers at Nashville Anti-Human Trafficking Coalition. I started here about two and a half years. I actually moved here from Odenville, Alabama after I completed a long-term anti-human trafficking trauma program. I was rescued out of sex trafficking. In August 9th, 2019, I came from Tampa, Florida into that program at the Well House. You gotta understand, I grew up in a little town called Soso, Mississippi, the population was 400. I knew about partying, sneaking out of the window at night. I knew about boys, I knew about drugs, but I was not prepared for the evil in the world. I was a very naive. My husband went, "Let me see my kids." My sister and him were taking care of my kids and then he ended up going to a program. So I was like, "Okay, well, you know what? I don't have anything or anybody." And that's what my addiction was telling me, "Just go all the way in." And so I went to Meridian, Mississippi, and I met my first, I used to call him Pimp, but he's a trafficker. I'm gonna call him what he is. I'm not gonna give him that street clout. And I got with him and he took me back to Gulfport, Mississippi from there. And then down on the coast, the Mississippi Gulf Coast

is like, runs into New Orleans. A lot of trafficking goes on down there. And it wasn't very long. I watched him beat to death, the other girl that was with us. And so I was like, "Okay, so I've really gotten in over my head here." And I didn't even know what I was supposed to be doing. Like back page was an online escort ad where back then you could get a prepaid credit card out of Walgreens and you could have paid $3 and you could post an ad. So he took a lot of different pictures of me and he would post the ad and a John could call the ad and say, "Hey, are you available? What are your rates? Where are you located?" And pull up at a motel in 30 minutes and purchase sex for me. And so he would do all the calls for me and send clients to me. And in the beginning, he would let me keep a certain percentage of my money. But then eventually he started taking it and all of it. And I was with him for about a year. And I'm just out there. I'm out there really, really strung out and I had a friend of mine that had a friend and said, "I have a brother that's in Memphis. He's in Venezuela right now on a mission trip and he'll be home in two weeks. He has an apartment complex.

He's a preacher. He has a studio. He has all these things he'll help you get on your feet. So I can't remember how long it took that. I eventually called him. I ended up getting off a bus. I remember I was dope sick. I had sold my clothes. I looked amiss and I got in the vehicle with this big huge man. And I looked at him and I was like, "You're a preacher?" And he was like, "No." He had been in the federal penitentiary. The two weeks that he was supposedly in Venezuela was he was two more weeks he was gonna be out of the feds. And he needed somebody to help him make money so he could come up and get back on his feet. He was in there for 15 years. He was a kingpin. He was over the vice lords in Memphis. He was not abusive. He was more like a CEO trafficker all about business. He put me in really nice clothes. He got me off of drugs. He put me in a hotel. He had security outside of my door at all times. He would drive through and pick up the money at certain hours. While I was in detox, my quota was $500 a night. And then when I got sober, it was way more. He had me like really high end clientele,

like NBA basketball players and different things like that. This man is actually a, now he does have a church. He is a pastor at Pimp by day, night, pastor by day. He is not, you know-- - Still a pimp? - Oh, still a pimp, maybe he-- - Still a trafficker. Yeah, so that's kind of like, that's how it is in Memphis. It's a really dangerous city. Well, so I got sober and it ended up falling in love with one of my Johns. And I'm like, I can't do this sober. And ended up leaving him to go be with one of my Johns. He would fly me to Dallas, that trafficker. He would fly me all over different places, ended up moving out, moving in with one of my Johns. But basically, he was just trying to finesse me. And really, he still wanted me to do the same exact thing that I was doing, but I could live at home with him and go get a hotel in the day and be home by afternoons and pretend to be in love. And we had cats and we would cook supper and different things like that, but he still wanted me to make the money. And I was just searching for somebody to save me. I was searching for it in people and men. Like, I need somebody to help me get out of this life. And I mean, but who could really love me? I'm a prostitute, I'm this, I'm that.

had been in Miami. I had been in Dallas. I had been in Jacksonville, Florida. I had been in Houston. I had been all over. I had been kidnapped. I had been raped so many times I can't even tell you, but when you're a working girl and you're raped, law enforcement just looks at you like, oh, you just didn't get your money. They just didn't pay you. Even though, even if they were, like, living out of rape fantasy, you know, so all these things had happened over these years, you know, and so I'm exhausted. I realized one day I'll never forget when I prayed for somebody. I remember walking out into Gulfport, Mississippi, into the beach and I walked about a mile and a half out into the ocean and you know where you can just keep walking and then finally it drops off. And I remember crying out, like, God, please help me. Please send somebody that will get me out of this lifestyle. I need some help. I can't do this on my own. And I can still feel that moment in my soul like I can't believe I'm about to cry, but I can still feel that moment in my soul. And he came along right after that. And you know, I believed in Jesus my whole life. I grew up in church. I grew up and I can tell you every Bible, Bible school song, like I can, I remember all my Bible school teachers, like, I love the Lord all my life. And I just fell off, you know, and was lost and was sexually abused as a child. And so that was really the gateway into not seeing my worth. And Jesus, you know, I didn't see that I was made in the image of God. I thought I was made for men and to satisfy men and, you know, the enemy really played

on that. And after I had got out there in that life so much, I'm like, how can I ever go back around my kids, because my sister met me one time at a gas station as I'm passing through the city, my driver, my security, I said, please, please let me see somebody I know. And she saw me and she just looked at me and she was like, Lee in, look at you. She said, it scares me. She said, I mean, I was a chubby, brown headed girl, I used to didn't wear makeup, nothing. And if I could show you pictures of me, I had like a shaved bleach blonde hair. I was this big around, she said, you have physically taken a new form. Like you don't even look like yourself. And I don't mean like just a little drastic change. It was what the devil wanted me to look like in that life. I mean, it was a totally different person. It was such, it was such spiritual warfare. I had gotten arrested in a prostitution stain in 2017 in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. They were trying to get my trafficker, but I wasn't ready yet. And I remember all these advocates and these women standing in my room and they were with trafficking hope, but I thought they were church people. And so they tried to get me to go into a program called the Well House and I wouldn't go at that time. I went to jail and he come and got me the next morning. So when I hitch-tiked to Florida, I called, I remembered there was a program and I found it and called the program. I did an intake with them over the phone. I got accepted into the Well House and so they called me and said, okay, we're going to get you a bus ticket. You need to be there tomorrow. I remember in the afternoon and I freaked out, I was like, I was so dope sick, I couldn't hold myself up. And I was like, no, I cannot sit at a bus station.

Checkout is 11 a.m. if I sit at a bus station, a pimp or a trafficker is going to try to get me. I've been there, done that. I know how they go to these bus stations and they look for women that look like they're, you know, all alone and, you know, a drug addict, prey on the vulnerability of addiction. And I was like, I cannot do that. And so she got me a ticket at five in the next morning. I remember I left what little bit I had and I just got on the bus with just the dress that I had on and I never looked back. I went to the Well House and I got in the car and I gave her my phone and I just remember like, you know how like you almost have a car wreck in your knees will start jumping? I remember I can still feel it like my knees were twitching, realizing that I had been gone for eight and a half years from my family. I remember like it taken my breath away like I just lost eight and a half years of my life and my children's life. Like what have I done? And it didn't even feel like it was that long. It was the meth and the spiritual realm of evil and it was just crazy. And then I just I started my journey. I have fell down a few times, but I immediately get right back up and I'm like, no, you know, and I just keep going and my life is getting so beautiful and me and my kids are back together. I was going to. It's been almost six years. Man, I talked to all three of them almost every day. Yeah, we're really close. - So was it just figuring out your identity in Christ? - In Christ. - Oh my gosh, he's the only one. - He's the only one. - That you need that was able to get you through that

because that, I mean, that's a traumatic, huge part of your life. To overcome and completely go a different way. I don't know, without the strength of Christ, how anyone could do that. - I couldn't. And I always try to do it in my own power. And it's like, I think about this as like a lifeguard. You know, like, if somebody's in the water drowning, they're fighting and they're fighting hard. And a lifeguard is not gonna jump in there and try to pull them out. When they're fighting, they have to kind of wait till they give up a little bit. So they don't pull it, you know? So I was like, same thing with Jesus, I feel like, 'cause I would, I got to be where my johns would come in and I'd spout scripture. And I'd talk to them about adultery. And here I am, like this girl that's providing services. And so I had a calling on my life my entire life. And the Lord was never gonna let me be happy in what I was doing. And I always knew he was right there. I always knew that I could just reach out, but I just was angry. I would wake up every day cussing him out. Come on God, bring it. What do you got for me today? You won't let me die. You can't even let me die.

You know, how are you gonna rescue me? You won't even let me die. Like I was, I felt like I could reverse psychology God. And it was just ridiculous. I don't know, I just if, and I was angry with God too, because I suffered an addiction for like 23 years and I would see these people be delivered and like, in an instant and I'm like, why not me God? But his time is perfect. He knew that the well house was a beautiful place for me to find that healing with all the people that poured into me and then he knew I was gonna come here. It's so crazy because here at NHT, our flower is Daisy, as a Daisy. When I walked in the door here and I saw the daisies and I realized that that was the flower here, I called my house mother, that was at the well house and I said, oh my God, do you know what the flower here is? I was like, what was all the pictures I used to paint all the time in art therapy and hang on my wall? It was daisies. It was always daisies and it was like, every little sign was pointing me here all along. You know, that was always my, this was always where it was gonna end up and today I'm a little too healed. I know my identity is in Christ. I'm so single because I'm too healed.

Just kidding. I'm so healed and I know who he says I am. I know who's I am. And like you said, you know, some of the questions you said earlier, like social media is so disgusting and it points all these young girls into thinking and other sexualization that's going on and I've seen what the world will do for sex and how far they'll go to meet all those things and God created that for a married couple and it's supposed to be something special and sacred and beautiful and I don't even need anybody. Like I have him and I have all these wonderful people that he's placed in my life. My life is so full. I might not have a spouse but I realized last week like the enemy will get in my head and be like, you're lonely, you're lonely, you're lonely. And I'm like, wait a minute, I'm not lonely. I don't even have time for a boyfriend. Like, I mean, I just need to continue to heal and my identity is definitely in Jesus Christ and my whole life was derailed under and sexual abuse as a little child. But today I don't walk in my identity as that. I walk in the identity that I'm an overcomer, that Jesus loves me, that he died for me. Before the foundation of the world, he chose me. He knew I was going to be trafficked. He knew I was going to be abused.

He knew that I was going to be in the darkest place of my life but he brought me up. There's a Bible study called Jesus in Women and then she says mish pot and zedekah. It's like justice and righteousness. He lifted me up out of the pit and he's placed me here where I can help other women. And yeah, that's all I want to do. - Let's talk about that for a minute. So today you came from this very serious, very traumatic background and today you're helping women who also come from that same background, right? That's incredible. - That's awesome. - It's amazing, I love what the enemy meant for evil, right? Almost tore you apart. There were days you were wishing you would die. And God said, just let me work that around. keep doing it every day because that I'm sure there's some pain associated with some of the things that you have to relive but knowing that you can turn that pain into helping others is a really beautiful thing. Yeah well you know me and my mentor prayed all the time that when women would see me they would not even be able to imagine who I used to be and I've had that come to fruition like I knew a song a girl was singing and she said Ms. Leanne I cannot believe you know that song I'm like Lord and then when I tell my story I used to when I would tell my story my bones would kind of shake but now I feel like it's a dream. It feels like I'm telling someone else a story and it really doesn't hurt anymore to talk about it. I really do I mean I hurt the only thing I regret out of all everything is the time that my kids lost what they went through because everything that I went through has made me the woman that I am today and I don't regret that I love who I am today and I love that God has made it possible for me to to go back into the darkness that I just came out of and to try to bring others into the light and I counted all joy. That's amazing.

So there's a lot of women who are still they're in really challenging situations they're being trafficked they're in addiction they're in abusive relationships and women who are going to watch this interview women who are in the correctional facilities that we go into or sitting at home on their computers watching this what is something you wish someone would have told you or something that you could give them tell them that would bring some encouragement and hope or strength to them well you know a lot of traffickers will prey on women that are in jail they'll put money on their books and offer them a place to go when they get out and people don't even realize that if someone is putting a roof over your head in exchange for sexual favors that is sex trafficking they're exploiting a vulnerability that you have so I would tell these women that are in prison to get in their word to get a trusted Christian friend and to find a place because there is places that women can go out of prison there's a place here in Nashville called WOW they do not have to settle to go live with some man and exchange their body for a place to live there are so many places out here that want to help women I just didn't realize that there were so many places back then I didn't know how to reach out for help but they have case managers in jail they can find them places they can always reach out to our rescue department here at Nashville anti-human trafficking coalition to get placed out of prison they are beautiful they are loved they're chosen by God and if they're sitting in prison they've done whatever they've done that led on there and Jesus died for them so like he paid the charges even though they might be guilty of the the things that they've done they're not too far gone that's right they can be forgiven because he died for them just like he died for me and that there's always hope and that they can start their life whenever dumbass are 50 years old 41 years old 60 years old I'm living for the first time in my life and I didn't start living until I was 41 years old and so it's not too late for them that's right that's good so the last question that I want to ask you is something we always end the interviews with and so we talk about love because you said you thought you were in love with some of these men that were hurting you right because you didn't know what true love was and so you you you answered this in pieces but I would just love for you to just summarize what you thought love looked like but now that you've experienced the genuine true love of Jesus Christ and how your how your vision of what love is has changed or your definition of what love is or what it looks like has changed um I thought love was lust I thought that if I loved or if I needed to be loved that I needed to give myself fully to somebody um I was in a very abusive relationships

my entire life so I never really experienced healthy love um my husband wasn't abusive but because I had just come out of an abusive relationship I was very abusive to him but today the more I spend in God's Word and I know that love is patient love is kind it doesn't envy it isn't proud it doesn't boast um you know I find it in the Word of God I find it in every Six years ago I was living in hotels, today I have an apartment, I have a car, I have a relationship with my children, I have a sponsor that walks me through the 12 steps of recovery, I have an amazing therapist, I have an amazing group of people who cheer me on. That is all from the love of Christ, that is all God. I love that. I am so grateful that I know you said it gets easier and easier each time you share your story, but I still appreciate you just being open and vulnerable because so many people are afraid to talk about some of the things that you talked about today and so just letting people, men and women, know that there are others out there who have been through something similar, that they were able to overcome and that there is hope for them too is such an incredible thing and so I am grateful for your story and for your willingness to share and for what you are doing here for the women that you are helping is just amazing. So thank you so much for everything that you are doing and for being a part of this today. Thank you. Hope has a name and his name is Jesus. Amen.