3 Ceilings Sabotaging Your Leadership Growth

- Welcome back to another episode of the Craig Rochelle Leadership Podcast. I'm going to talk today about something that every leader eventually faces. If you're there now, let's try to get through it. If you're not, you will be there one day. I'll start with a question. Have you ever felt like you're working harder than you did maybe even before, but you're not moving forward? You're trying what you used to try, doing what you used to do, but it's not working like it used to work. And what's odd is sometimes you'll recognize you've actually gained more experience over the years, or your team might even be bigger and stronger than it used to be, or your abilities have even gotten better in many different areas. But somehow, for some reason, growth seems slower. And the decisions that you make seem a little bit weightier than they used to. And the things that you used to do just don't have the same return today, like they did in the past. Now, if you're like me, most of us as leaders, we tend to respond in the same way. It's kind of like if you ever go and you're trying to go up on an elevator, or down on an elevator and you push the little elevator button, and you wait and nothing happens.

If you're like me, what I do is I just go back and it's dumb, but I do it, I push the button harder. I do it again, and I push it harder. And that's what we often do in leadership. We try to work harder, work longer, try to be more disciplined. We tell ourselves things like, if I just bring a little bit more effort, I'm finally gonna break through. But I wanna raise the idea today that more effort might not be what's necessary. Sometimes what happens, you don't even know it, but you hit what I call a leadership ceiling. It's like this invisible barrier between where you are and where you could be, or where you are and where you wanna be. And what I've learned is that every single one of us, every leader, eventually hits a ceiling. Once you break through that, you can go for a while, and then one day you're gonna hit another ceiling, and you're gonna realize that the things that helped you succeed in one season are often the things that hold you back in the next. The things that you were really good at, the ideas that you think are a law forever that helped you be successful in one season can actually be a limiting force for you in the next. It might be the habits that got you here aren't sufficient to get you to the next level. Or the mindset that worked in the last season

may not be the one that you need in the upcoming season. Or your leadership approach that worked maybe when you had 10 staff members, does it work when you have 30 staff members or whatever the case would be? And here's what makes the ceiling that we hit so dangerous is the ceiling isn't always around you, so often the ceiling is actually within you. And if you don't recognize it like I'm hitting the ceiling, you're gonna keep pushing harder against something that more effort won't actually break. And so I'm gonna show you today that sometimes you don't just need to do something better, but you actually need to do something different. And when you think about it, one of the biggest challenges with the ceilings is that they don't just limit you, but they limit the team around you, they limit your organization, I would say it this way, that every ceiling in the leader eventually becomes a ceiling in the organization. When you think about it, like your fears, whatever you're afraid of, becomes their limitations. Or your inability or unwillingness to change becomes their obstacle. And whenever we hit a ceiling, the leaders around us don't grow the way that they could. The teams around us don't reach their full potential. And the mission, whatever it is that matters to us, tends to stall.

So what we're gonna do in this episode and the upcoming one is I'm gonna help you identify the six ceilings that every leader must break. We're gonna look at three of them today and three of them in the next episode. We're gonna break them into two groups and I'm gonna give you those ceilings. Today we're gonna talk about the awareness ceiling. We're gonna talk about the skill ceiling and we're gonna talk about the fear ceiling. In the next episode, we have three more, I'll tell you those at the end. I've already said it and I wanna say it again that your personal ceiling will eventually become a ceiling for the organization. So let's start with the ceiling that makes it possible to break all of the others. The first one, we call it the awareness ceiling. Here's the principle, you cannot break what you cannot see. If you don't recognize your hitting ceiling, you're never gonna break through and go to the next level. And one of the strange things about leadership is this, that the higher you tend to lead, the harder it is to see yourself clearly. And if you've been leading for a while, you'll recognize this because early on, when you're just starting out, you've got like a boss that will correct you or your peers will get in your face.

the people become more careful around you, that they'll often challenge you less, or they'll tell you what they think that you wanna hear. And the problem is that most of us as leaders, we're the last person in the room to know what everyone else already knows about us. If we don't work hard to develop self-awareness and create a culture where people are empowered and encouraged to give us feedback, they're not gonna tell us much. And it's not because they don't see what we're doing wrong, it's not because they don't see where we need to grow and develop, it's because a lot of times, we create a culture where they've learned that honesty isn't always worth the risk. If they give us feedback and we get defensive, we're hard on them, we don't listen, we brush it away, then they're not gonna be likely to give us feedback in the future. And the big problem is this, that the longer we go without honest input, the more confident that we become in the version of ourselves that is not accurate. And I've been there. We said this, the principle is this, you can't change what you don't see. And sometimes the biggest thing that's holding you back is the thing that everybody else sees about you that you don't see in yourself. And for me, the first time this became

kind of like a breakthrough, years ago, I would preach a message and then I would go out and talk to people in the lobby. And I had no idea how distracted I would be in a conversation. I'd be talking to someone and there'd be a lot of other people kind of waiting around. And so I'd be trying to have a conversation with one person, I'd look to see who else was there and I kind of look over my shoulders. And somebody told me just very, very directly one time, you come across rude when you're talking to people in the lobby. And at first I was offended, I was hurt, I didn't really understand it, I didn't think that I did, but they were actually right. It wasn't in my heart, but it was in my body language. And I had to hear that and that's changed the way I interact with people. If I didn't know that was a problem, then I couldn't fix the problem. So if I'm serious about growing, I can't just listen to feedback. I have to ask for it, I have to want it, I have to hear it and I have to apply it. The best leaders I know, they're not the ones that don't have any blind spots. They're the ones that want to know what their blind spots are. And so if somebody starts to give you feedback,

like me, you may be tempted to be defensive. Don't get defensive, get curious. Ask deeper questions. And kind of the primary question you want to ask is this, you can ask people on your team, you can ask people that you trust. What does everyone else know about me that I don't know about myself? What does everyone else know about me that I don't know about myself? I ask that question a lot. And then when they answer, listen, own it. Don't defend, don't justify. Just say, oh, tell me more. Because if people tell you the truth and you push back at all, eventually they're gonna stop telling you the truth. And the last time I asked this question, I asked it a little bit differently. And I got, I think, some better feedback. I asked, how did people playfully make fun of me behind my back? And I added the whole playfully make fun of me because that kind of gave them permission to talk about how they may playfully or not so playfully make fun of me behind my back. And one of them said, oh, well, whenever you're talking to someone that whenever you're done, you just walk away. And you can be literally almost in the middle

of the conversation, but when you're done, you just literally just walk away. And I thought to myself, I actually do that. And the reason I do that is because I'm done. And it makes sense in my mind, but that's not kind, it's not polite and it's actually really, really rude. It's not that I intend to do that, but it's just the way my mind works. And the fact that that's the way my mind works is not an excuse to devalue the people in front of me. So now that they told me that I'm able to focus more and show the heart that I wanna show. How did I get that by asking the question? Change the way you ask the question. What do people know about me? What do they playfully say behind my back? And if you don't like what they tell you, I'd just tell you this, listen closer. Whatever you defend the strongest or defend the hardest is often a reflection of where you have the most to learn. Let's just pause there for a moment because this is really important. You cannot grow if you don't know what you're doing that's negatively impacting the people of the culture around you. So it starts with awareness. You cannot change what you do not see, develop a culture where people around you have permission to speak into your leadership because I promise you, if you don't, you will hit the awareness ceiling.

The second one is what we call the skill ceiling, the things that you do that you're good at. Sometimes your greatest skill can become your toughest ceiling. A lot of leaders don't realize that. But sometimes you don't just hit a skill ceiling because you stopped trying, but you hit it because success actually lies to you. And what happens is you master skill and it kind of works for a while and you get rewarded for it. Things grow or you make a bigger difference or whatever it is. And so you keep doing it and that's actually the trap. What a lot of leaders don't realize is the skills that made you great in the past won't automatically make you great in the future. For example, if you're great at sales, you might not automatically be a great sales manager. Or if your leadership approach works really well with the team of three people, that same approach may not be as effective with a team of 30 people. We have to realize that every level of leadership it actually requires different skills. Some skills are constant in all, but as you grow and scale something, you need new skills along the way. The problem is we're tempted to keep improving what worked then instead of developing what's required now. In other words, if there was something we were good at

that worked in the last season, we'd just say, we're gonna get better and better at that. Instead of developing the new skills that are necessary in the new season. And I've experienced this over and over and over and over again. One of the first times I realized I needed a new skill is that in the early days, I would preach to the people in the room, just like preachers did forever. And I felt very comfortable doing that. But as our church started to grow and expand, video became a primary way to communicate. Even like I'm doing right now, talking to a camera. And I had never done that before. The first time I talked to a camera, I mean, it was awful. I looked like I was shooting a car commercial on a very, very low budget. And if you've ever done it, looking at a camera and trying to be natural is not easy because they're just nothing natural about it. And what I had to learn to do is to genuinely feel and believe that there are people on the other side of the camera. And so when I look at it today, is I'm not in my mind looking at a camera, but I'm looking at you, thinking about you, caring about you. And this is a different skill. For years, I had the same message. And I am the same person. But when you're in a different environment,

it actually requires a different skill. And that's gonna keep happening over and over again. Another thing for me is that as our organization grew, I had to learn to ask better questions. Whenever we were small, the problems were really, really obvious, they would just scream at me. But as we got bigger, what looked like a problem was often just a symptom of a deeper problem. And so I did learn to ask better questions. I had to dig deeper to try to find the root cause, or help other people dig deeper to find the root cause. And the same thing is true with feedback. I'm an athlete, I grew up playing sports. And so I was used to being coached. People could yell at me and tell me what I was doing wrong. And I would appreciate that. I would see that as a way of them caring for me, trying to help me get better. So I just assumed that everybody else received feedback the same way, and I learned they don't. I had to learn sometimes to be direct and oftentimes to really soften my approach. These are just three different examples of skills that I had to learn along the way. And people can give you feedback. We talked about that, and you can give feedback to other people, but being right about the feedback doesn't mean you're skilled at giving it. We have to look at ourselves and say, what new skills do I need to learn and develop

in the new season to be effective? Over time, you get to realize that every new season exposes new skills that you didn't know that you needed. And you may stop growing in the area of your greatest strength because you assume, hey, I've already got it there. And meanwhile, the environment changes all around you. Your team changed, the problems changed. And while you're great at something in the past, it's no longer sufficient in the future. So here's the application question. Ask yourself, what skill will my next season require that I need to develop now? What skill will my next season require that I need to develop now? Some of you are hitting a skill ceiling. It worked for you for a long time, but now you actually need to learn something new to do it to be effective in the next season. So you've got the awareness ceiling. The second thing is you have the skill ceiling. The third one, this is personal, and I'm gonna get personal, you have what I call the fear ceiling, the fear ceiling. Many leadership limitations aren't knowledge problems, they're courage problems. It's not that we don't know enough, it's that we don't have enough courage or faith to attack the problem. And for me, the fear ceiling is, If you're like me as leaders, we're really good at disguising fear.

I'll call it wisdom or my strategy or being careful, being measured, being responsible. And sometimes it is, but sometimes I'm just afraid. And if you look at your leadership right now, there may be a decision that you're postponing. Or there's a hard conversation you know that you need to have, but you're avoiding it. There could be some change. You know you need to bring or a risk that you need to take, but the risk just feels too high. That's the fear ceiling. And what happens over time when we're afraid, when we're hesitant, when we're cautious, is that your team is often waiting on what you've been avoiding. They're waiting for you to make the hard decision. They're waiting for you to lead the way. They're waiting for you to step out and step in when other people step away. And I learned this the hard way. It was after 2020, and you remember all the chaos. If you were leading then it was one of the most difficult times for leaders, probably in our lifetime. And it felt like I was taking shots from every single side, shots from the left from the right. And so I thought being balanced would be a really good strategy. And I tried to stay in the middle. I didn't realize the middle is the bullseye. So after enduring enough criticism,

I genuinely started leading afraid. That's the only way I could say it. I was more hesitant. I was more cautious. I was second-guessing myself in ways that I normally wouldn't. And some of it was wisdom, but some of it was fear. And I had to realize and admit that I cannot lead well afraid. And neither can you, because fear makes you hesitate when you need to step in and act. It makes you stay quiet when you really are called to speak out or play defense when you should be playing offense. And that's what makes the fear ceiling especially dangerous is because you kind of start managing around the problem instead of leading through it. So the application question is this, ask yourself, what am I avoiding right now that I already know I need to do? What is it a difficult decision, a hard conversation you need to have, a change that you need to make, a risk that has been waiting on you to have the faith to step in and seize? Don't be afraid. Your leader and leaders do hard things. So remember, the next level, whatever it is, it isn't waiting on what you need to know every single time. Sometimes it's waiting on what you already know, but you're afraid to do. Step into it. We've talked today about three different ceilings,

the awareness ceiling. What am I not seeing? We've talked about the skill ceiling. What is it that I need to learn to go to the next level? We've talked about the fear ceiling, what I already know, but I'm afraid to do. They're different ceilings, but they have the same result. They keep you from becoming the leader, you're capable of becoming. Let me tell you what we're gonna cover next week and then I wanna bring it to a close. Before I do that, I wanna tell you thank you so much for being a part of our leadership community. Your trust to be here means the world to me. If you have not subscribed, wherever you consume the content, hit subscribe now. If you're willing to share on social media, that would be a great gift to me. If this is helpful to you and you've never written a comment or review, would you do that for me? I'm gonna work hard to bring you the best content that I can to help you grow in your leadership. In the next episode, we're gonna talk about three more ceilings. There's the thinking ceiling, there's the energy ceiling, and there's the identity ceiling. As we look at these different ceilings, what I want you to do is think about which one are you hitting right now and which one do you need to break? You don't need to break all three or all six. You need to identify the one.

You never break every ceiling at once. You break the one that you're standing under. What I promise you is this, is that whenever you're effective in leadership, whenever you have a goal and you achieve the goal, whenever you cast vision and create a great culture and surround yourself with great people, then you do move the mission forward, but as you grow, as you expand, you will always hit a new ceiling. When you hit that ceiling, don't just hit it harder. Think different. What I need to learn, how to approach it differently. I don't need to just do something better, but I need to do something different to break through the ceiling. And the great news is when you break through that ceiling, what once was a ceiling becomes a new floor and you start building from there. I wanna tell you sincerely that I believe in your leadership. You have what it takes to make a difference. If you're hitting that ceiling, don't get discouraged. Be encouraged. You've actually grown so much through hitting a new ceiling. Every new ceiling has a way through it. Find it, pray about it. You won't get to where you're going by doing the same thing you used to do. So if you're willing to do something different, something new,

break through that ceiling and reach even more people. Thank you again for being a part of our leadership community. I'll be back with you next month for three more ceilings that we're going to break together and guess what? You got better today. Really good news because everyone wins when the leader gets better. [MUSIC] (upbeat music)