Does God Really Accept Me? | You Are Loved Podcast

hopes of encouraging you to keep going no matter how hard it is and to show you how loved you are by your heavenly Father. This week I have the honor of sharing with you Steve's story. Steve grew up hearing the gospel message and had accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior, but he never felt fully assured of his salvation. His perspective was skewed because he viewed his heavenly Father like he did his earthly Father, who was absent most of his life. Steve had accepted his dad but didn't feel accepted in return and believed that his relationship with God was the same. He didn't understand his identity as a precious son. Watch to see how he overcame that and what he does today to show others who they truly are. So I was born in Knoxville, Tennessee and a big part of my story, I start there because my mom and dad divorced when I was around four years old. My dad was an alcoholic womanizer, the whole nine yards. However, was it abusive to me and actually fun to be around when he was around just very absent. And so when they divorced obviously being at such a young age my mom got full custody. Well she got custody and then he had visitation rights every other weekend. And so it was just me and my mom in an apartment in the found city area there in Knoxville and I can remember the weekend when my dad was supposed to come and pick me up, pack my bags, sometimes he would show up, sometimes he wouldn't. Again when he was around it was fun but just very absent it just became a pattern. And fortunately though even before my mom and dad divorced I can remember going to church and my dad even my mom said had made a profession of faith early on and even had said something about maybe feeling a call to ministry but it's almost like he just never followed up on that and just got out in the world. And so by the time I was about six years old my mom you know going through that pattern of sometimes being with my dad, sometimes in the night my mom remade and we moved to Maryville and had a really godly stepdad. And my mom continued along with my stepdad to take me to church and so I got to hear the gospel early on whether it be on Sunday mornings. We went Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, visitation, vacation bible school. So I got I heard the gospel the good news and I have prayed multiple times for Jesus to come into my life. I've been baptized multiple times realizing that from what I understand scripture once you're saved you're saved. You can't earn it and you can't lose it but I just never had that assurance and it was it was miserable and I look back and I think a lot of my perspective of my earthly father carried over to how I viewed my heavenly father. I accept you but then you accept me and so I really believe that was the root of just continuing in those doubts and it was it was just horrible and it was this lasted until even

through high school and probably midway I think it was midway through high school I was at a Sunday night church service and again it heard the gospel but this this night it was different and I think the difference was before I think anybody that believes there's a literal hell doesn't want to go there right if you're in your right mind you want to go to heaven and I think a lot of my time before of praying to us Jesus in my life was just to escape hell but this night I really felt convicted of my sin and I and I felt the weight of my sin and I and I realized that if I died in my my sin I would pay for my sin eternally separated from from God however that's when the good news became the good news that it is and I saw that not only did I need forgiveness and desired forgiveness but I wanted Jesus to be Lord of my life even though I'm still learning what that looks like today what does that look like for Jesus to be Lord but it was midway through high school that I really think that I guess nailed down my salvation to where it wasn't about praying or prayer or behavior modification it was about heart transformation and you know Jesus gave me a new heart and with new desires and now the power And it was around that same time that my biological father was living in Asheville, North Carolina. I had played football in high school and had seen him my sophomore year at a football game and then talked to him on the phone some that following year but never got a chance to be with him. And it was football season again, my junior high school and my mom, we played a game that Friday night. My mom woke me up real early and said my dad had been killed in a car wreck. And so he had his license revoked through DUI and just was supposedly driving. And it wasn't supposed to be dropping, speeding, police attempted to stop him. And he ran and didn't make a turn on blue at his parking. So obviously that was devastating. But I got to experience just again

the peace of my Heavenly Father, even though my earthly father, again, when he was around, it was fun to be around, but there were just a lot of insecurities and fears that developed through that relationship. But I got to just experience the peace of my Heavenly Father. And it was too there that I mentioned I played sports and that was a big part of my life. And God really used a lot of coaches in my life to kind of play that father figure role. And so for me, I initially, when I went to school, I wanted to teach and coach. And midway through college, I really sensed God call me to ministry. And I was like, whoa, you got the role person? Yeah, hold on, I've got way too many insecurities. I think you got the role person. But God through His Holy Spirit and the truth of His Word just confirmed to me through His people that He had to call me to ministry. And so midway through college, I said, yes. And so I guess those are two big spiritual markers in my life is when I nailed down my salvation and just felt that the freedom, the joy. And then really understood just receiving as Savior. But also, what does it look like to follow Him as Lord? And when I surrendered to ministry, again, I didn't know exactly what that was going to look like. And here I am, and that's been over half my life ago. And the journey has just been crazy and adventurous and awesome. I'm married to my life, Angela.

We'll be celebrating 27 years in December. Congratulations. And we have Abby. All three of my kids have been born in different states. So ministry's taken me a lot of different places. But Abby is my oldest. And her and her husband are expecting our first grandchild, a little baby boy in October. And then Jed is 21. And then Jackson is 18. He'll be a senior in high school. And so work with fellowship Christian athletes. It's just going to say, tell me about your ministry, right? Because it's not-- Yeah, it's not. It was a pastor of a church, right? OK, so tell me about it. Well, when I surrendered to ministry, right off the bat, while I finished up my undergrad at the University of Tennessee, I served as a part-time youth pastor at Laurel Bayton Baptist Church. And there's no such thing as a part-time pay, but it's full. No, but I wasn't very much older than the youth. A lot of my youth were from broken homes. And so God really-- I was able to use my experience to really minister to that group. And so I did that while I finished up my undergrad at the University of Tennessee. And then I got involved with campus crusade for Christ. And I was served on staff at UT Knoxville

and then helped pioneer crew at NTSU in Murfreesboro. Met my wife in Murfreesboro. She came on staff and I'm giving the readers a digest version. So we were doing college ministry in Murfreesboro with crew. And then I ended up going to seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. And right out of seminary served at a church in Collier, Alabama. So my abbey was born in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. While I was in seminary, Jed was born in Louisville, Kentucky. And then my first church out of seminary was in Collier, Alabama, where my youngest was born in Alabama. So again, just been all over. where I served as a college young singles pastor at a church there where my wife and I had met, where she had surrendered her life to Christ, where we were married. So God brought us full circle to serve that church body. And then it's really cool how God works. Again, initially wanted to teach and coach. Had a lot of coaches influential in my life, love, sports. And so I got involved when I was in Murfreesboro serving at this church with FCA. And I remember FCA, fellowship with Chris and athlete's men, part of my high school, but I was really involved by youth group. And so I didn't know a whole lot about it. And so as I learned more about FCA, I really sensed God call me on staff with FCA. And that was in 2009. And so I went on staff there in Murfreesboro and served. And we've been in Merrill with FCA since 2012. And so we serve Blunt County. We're called the Smoky Mountain area, and we serve middle schools, high schools. And God just give me a real passion for college age. And so he's really opened a lot of doors for me to minister at Merrill College and be around coaches and athletes there. So you get to minister to the coaches and the athletes in those schools and in that college. That is so cool. It's probably not what you thought when the Lord called you into sports. And you really wanted that, right? And then the Lord called you into ministry. You probably thought, how could I do when Bubbles? That can't work. And God says, watch what I can do. It makes me think of Ephesians 3, where he does above and beyond what we ask or think. And we just surrender. And so yeah, it's a true joy to be able to do that. Because coaches, Billy Graham said, a coach who influenced more lives in a year than the average person does in a lifetime. And that

can be good or bad, right? And so God's allowed FCA too, to what I believe is our biggest mission field in the United States and it's our public schools and our campuses. And God has given us access to go to them. And I mentioned earlier to you before that our vision with FCA is to see the world transformed by Jesus Christ through the influence of coaches and athletes. And the way we go about that is to lead every coach and athlete into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ and his church. And so we're not here to replace the local church, but to come alongside to where God has given us access to go to them. And it's unbelievable. I love it. I love it. I love it. What do you think is the biggest thing that you share with these kids that, I mean, obviously it's Jesus Christ. But a lot of them probably aren't from the Christian homes. They weren't raised in a church. And maybe we know school age, like that's a tough season of your life, right? The enemy is attacking from all areas trying to take your identity, trying to just stop you at that age. What do you think is the biggest thing you feel called to address and share with the students that? Yeah, it's a great question. I think you hit on the word identity as athletes. Everything's revolved around your performance. And so when you find your identity and how you perform, and that's all over the place. You know, coaches are waiting and losing the athlete, how they perform. And so really helping coaches and athletes to understand that, that's just what they do. That's not who they are. And if you can find your identity in Christ, that who has given you those abilities and really seek to live and do that for his glory and find your identity regardless of how you perform, that your identity is secure in Christ. That frees you up. And I think you perform better. I think you coach better. And so a lot of times we talk about being a transformational coach versus a transactional coach. We understand transactional. Like in all of our life, like marriage has become a contract. If you grasp my back, I'll scratch it. Coaches, if you perform for me, and so while coaches have to win, especially on the collegiate level where they were going to lose their job, and so you want to win, but when you really learn how to coach the heart behind the jerseys, And so I think, when I think if we can, and you mentioned, you know, we're kind of in the Bible Belt here in Blunt County, but still Maryville College is really a melting pot.

You get kids from all over, especially athletes, from all over the United States and even other countries. And so even if you did grow up in the Bible Belt in a solid youth group, I feel like kids learn, okay, this is what I believe, but then you get to college and you're really challenged, it's why do I believe, what I believe? And so if you don't have a solid foundation, it's tough. And so I think for us, as again, it all goes back to identity in Christ and just understanding that God created us, our Heavenly Father, to be in a relationship with Him. And it's only when that vertical relationship is intact that the horizontal can function as He intended for it too. So I think just again, trying to point, we call it the E3, we want to engage, so we want to build relationships with coaches and athletes and all whom they influence, but then we want and share their gospel and hopefully that the God draws and to Himself and then for those who say, yeah, I want to follow Jesus, I want to equip them in God's Word and help them to get established in a local church and then we want to empower them. So we want to engage, equip and empower to go and do likewise. And so I know for me, kind of part of my testimony earlier, I grew up in a very evangelistic church. I learned how to share my faith using the Roman road. And but as far as discipleship really somebody coming alongside me and helping me understand, okay, now that you've chosen to follow Christ,

it's not a sprint, it's a marathon, it's a lifelong journey of becoming more and more a lot of Christ. So for me, it took my stepdad, I mentioned, I was a godly man, he's with the Lord now. He was in a Christian motorcycle club. Yeah, and so you can only imagine some interesting guys in that Jesus had got a hold of their lives. And I remember one, I'll have nicknames that just, but one particular guy that took me under his wing when I was just needing to be discipled. And he bought me a strong concordance, which goes through looking at obviously the Old Testament written originally in Hebrew and the New Testament and Greek and some Aramaic and how to go back and do word studies. He would literally ride out Bible studies for me. And he was an old biker that I think spent time in prison and just got a hold of his life. And here he is investing in the young man. And that's when I feel like my walk with God and we went from this to, it's still, but the Word of God, I guess is what I'm trying to say is when I got more consistently in the Word of God and being involved in a local church, I really saw my walk with God become very, a lot more consistent instead of all over the place. And again, I'm still a work in progress. - We will always be. - But so I wanna ask you about love.

So I know growing up, you probably had some questions on love with your dad not being around as much. But I think in general, especially in your students and coaches, we talked about what their identity is based and love too can become twisted in what is true love look like. And so I know it's a hard thing to explain or put into words, but how would you describe what you thought love looked like when you were growing up, but now that you get to have this journey with the Lord, what love really is. - I think love before is very conditional. And I think it's very self-centered. You know, it's what can I get out of it? How does it make me feel? Whatever that may be. And therefore, there's no stability. It's very subjective. And there's not just a foundation. And so I think once I experienced, you know, for God's love, the world he gave. So I think that true love is giving. It's sacrificial, but God demonstrates his love toward us even while we were yet centered. So it's unconditional. it went from Conditional to unconditional and also yeah, there's motions and feelings involved because we're created that way But but you can't live on those emotions, right? There's an objective Truth to God's love he is love right and so I think for me just the the steadiness And and just the unconditionality of that love, but also I think in our culture

We we think loves just letting anybody just oh man, however you feel You do you right? I mean it's you don't want to Tell somebody they're wrong or and I think about Jesus And I think grace and truth are are and I think about Jesus who was the only one that perfectly embodied grace and truth Right, we tend to swing the pinion and we can be all truth and no grace or Alteration of truth, but I think about when Jesus was Teaching and the Pharisees the religious of the day They bring this woman that they've caught in adultery and of course in the law of Moses said to stone Right death and and so they're trying to test Jesus and say, you know, what what do you and of course? Jesus, you know, that's this very familiar story I love it. He's like hey, if it's any of you Or without sin and then ball means go ahead and throw the first stone and then the like is the oldest that started Dropping and you know, he's been he bends down. I'm intrigued. I don't know if he was writing their name and saying I don't know what right you know, he's writing the same but but all I know is When when everything was said and done there was nobody, but Jesus the only one that had the right to condemn her Right and so he led with love and grace But then he said now go and sin no more so there was that truth because sin is what separates us from his love Right and so he loves us so much and he loves us just where we're at but too much to let us stay in that condition I think that's something our culture myself included Need to hear more of just that balance of grace and truth Right and that God so loves and he gave Yeah, that's good. Oh, we often say In a church group that I'm in like when when you're feeling a certain way I'll come sit in this pit with you for a little while But I love you too much to leave you in the bed, right?

So I'll sit here and I'll wrap my arms around you and I'll have compassion and empathy for for a moment Yes, and then let's get you out of that pit and because that's not where God wants you to stay And so that's yes, yes And that's sort of what you're saying like love and compassion and empathy and grace But let's not keep you in that same spot. Yeah, let's point you to Christ and let's help you navigate that road of sanctification think church word, but Work it is it is. Yeah, I love that. I love that we've had a lot of descriptions of Love throughout these interviews and no one has ever said it just like that And so I really I really love your perspective on that and thank you Yeah, is there anything I've asked you or I haven't asked you that that you want to share anything else that that you wanted To say they're about your story or anything else First thank you. This is an honor privilege to to be part of this and just the U'll be elevating the calling God has on your life and so I guess anybody that would watch this or is watching this That you know something I know y'all's heart is They have hope there's people out there that there. I mean this this world. We live in right. It's broken Yes, and and and we know that broken this is because of sin But but God that's why I sent Jesus, you know, and Jesus lived on this earth The life that we all fell to live he perfectly loved God the father with all his heart soul Sin and strength and he perfectly loved others as he loved himself and we all fail to do that But then not only because the the wages of sin is death Jesus chose to willingly While his blood suffer and die and I love how Paul puts it in 2nd Corinthians 5 21 that Talking about God the father made him God the son who knew no sin To come sit on our behalf So that we could become a little The righteousness of God through and so I Would say that In the end, He had to have the death that you deserved to die. So when He died, He took the wrath, the rightful wrath of God, the father that we deserve for our sin, and He fully absorbed it. So He took the shame, the blame, the guilt, the punishment,

and He bore it to the complete. And then three days, days later, we know He rose from the dead, proving that He is indeed the Son of God, and He defeated death. He defeated hell. He defeated Satan. And He says that if in Romans 10, 9, and 10, if we confess with our mouth, yes, Jesus, your Lord. And that we believe in our heart that God raised Him from the dead. So we yeah, and you died, and you rose again. We can be saved. We can be rescued. We can be forgiven. And I love Romans 10, 13, because for whosoever, so put your name in there, wherever you're at, shall call upon the name of the Lord, and shall be saved. And so, it's just a matter of turning from your sin, and turning from anything you're trusting in, good works, religion, philosophy, whatever it may be, and fully trusting in who Jesus is, and what He has done for forgiveness of sins in eternal life. And the beauty is that begins now, John 17, this is eternal life, that you may know that you know God the Father and Jesus Christ, and He has sinned. So it's about relationship, but the good news is then you start that restoration process of God who He originally created us to be in relationship with Him. He's renewing our hearts and minds, making us more like Jesus, and we're not going to achieve that perfectly yet, right? But we know every day we get closer to when Jesus is going to return. You know, Jesus starts in the garden and ends in the garden, but the garden ends in, and there's going to be no more sin, no more sorrow, no more sickness, no more separation, but only those who understand their need, and they repent and trust Jesus, we'll get to experience that. So the train's rolling, that's where it's rolling, and so I would invite you to jump on that train if you haven't already, and every day we get closer, and in the midst of it, we can be salt-white, and we can be ambassadors for Christ to help make this broken dark world a little brighter. Absolutely, amen. Yes. Wow, well, Steve, thank you. Thank you so much for coming and sharing, and so really, really great things in there. I just love everything you said, and I really believe lives are going to be changed when people hear your story, not not because of you, because of Christ Jesus, right? Yes. Yes, he is, and I love that you want to make him the hero and make him known to everyone, so thank you. Appreciate it. Wasn't that a great story? I loved hearing about Steve's transformation once he understood the unconditional and sacrificial love of his heavenly Father. His dedication to showing others that same love so they too can be transformed is absolutely beautiful. Steve mentioned that he is a part of an organization called Fellowship of Christian Athletes. If you don't know who they are, I encourage you to check out their website. They are a community working to see the world transformed by Jesus Christ

through the influences of coaches and athletes, and they seek to make disciples through their strategy of engaging, equipping, and empowering coaches like Steve talked about. They want the athletes to know and grow in Christ and then lead others to do the same. You never know. You just might find yourself called to serve with them. Join us next week to hear another encouraging story and be sure to follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode. Most importantly, I pray that you know no matter how far you or someone you love has run from God, it is never too late. There is always hope because you are loved. [BLANK_AUDIO]