BetterMan Core: Lesson 6

Welcome to session six, God in the good life, and our Better Man core journey here. Guys, I am humbled to be able to go and be a guide on this journey with you. And I just pray that you would fully give yourself to what God is doing in your life in this season. Think about it, you can get a working definition of a biblical manhood that has stood the test of time, and you can learn to apply it with other brothers, with other people, other men that can change the future of your life and your family. That's not talk, that's truth. That's what God is doing in our day. So let's keep leaning into it. Let's start with this. Let me give you three approaches to manhood. Three approaches to manhood. Before we do though, let me give you that definition one more time. A real man, we're learning it, right? You're memorizing it. A real man courageously follows God's word, loves and protects God's woman, excels at God's work, and betters God's world. Through a friendship that I've had with coaches in the past, I've learned more about recruiting. I got the privilege of serving in a college city and getting to know college coaches for a while. Man, the recruiting process is brutal. It's brutal. And now there's signing periods and all the different implications of college. I won't get into that right now, but what I know is there is a moment where a young man has to make a decision about his commitment. What school is he going to commit to? Well, I'm going to tell you, there's a few different schools out there around manhood, and I'm hoping that you would commit to the right school. I'm going to give you a couple bad options and then the best option.

One, there's the school of the self-made man. And this school, and a lot of millennials and even beyond that, are being recruited and signing with is they're overly optimistic about themselves, that I can do this on my own mentality. Maybe they're skeptical about authorities. The self-made man, skeptical about authorities, more of a bent toward autonomy, meaning like I don't want somebody over me. I want to be over my own life. A lot of men in the school of self-made man are skeptical and have hesitations toward religion, sort of determined that they don't want to be under anyone's authority and are resistant to authorities. Believe in many ways that the best manhood is the one that you make up for yourself. Don't let anyone else tell you what to do. Don't let anyone else show you a definition. Create your own. That's a new thing, man. You create your own, you be you kind of mentality. The belief that you have or should have what it takes to be a man and that manhood comes from within. That's the self-made man. The other school that's recruiting men now and men for the future is the image conscious man. This school fabricates images of what manhood is through media now. It's always prevalent. The next cycle of social media, maybe it's movies. Is there an ever-changing image of what manhood is and who a man should be or how he should act? This image has no substance. They got a facade. They're hollow on the inside.

It's lacking something in its core. It's moved over decades, man. It was the macho man in one era. It's an alpha man. It's been the wild man. It's been the metro man. If you live long enough, it'll be some other kind of image that will never stand the test of time. And then there's the third school that honestly, I'm recruiting you for. It's the transcendent man. In this school, we learned that God created us and called us to embrace these timeless manhood responsibility. In this school, God's not a maybe. He's the central character and he is the voice that will propel men toward a real manhood. This manhood doesn't come from within. This manhood comes from the Bible. It's got scripture and verse to show us the way forward. It's enduring wisdom from the ages that can change the future. It's a manhood that God wants for all men and it's the only one that'll stand the test of time. So let's talk about manhood and the good life. Can the good life be defined? You know, it's interesting research and social science. tell us yes. I'm not talking about the Bible. I'm talking about just research, data, and social science says yes. Social science like Harvard did a 75-year study of adult development. Now they did a 75-year study, and in that study they were trying to define what the good life is. Not long ago, ABC News did a special based off of the research, the mystery of happiness, who has it, and how to get it. How do you get the good life? Well this ABC special told its watchers that the good life isn't something foggy, but it's something that can be defined. They claim that

they knew what could bring true happiness to any person. So that's interesting. What did the research say that the good life isn't? Well it says that the good life isn't wealth or possessions. Research tells us that once someone's primary needs are met, food, clothes, homes, and so forth, that wealth being a contributor to happiness stops. So get this, after you have the basics, beyond that, you're not going to find happiness by having more stuff in this life. There's much more to happiness than merely wealth. Research of people who win the lottery confirmed this. A person, a year after winning the lottery, some silly amount of money, report that they have more stress and a lack of joy, that all those resources did not add to the quality of their life. If people who even have enormous wealth don't have something else contributing to their happiness, it will start to twist and even disfigure them. Steve Jobs, you know that name, Apple, who had cancer and died, said, I reached the pinnacle of wealth and success, but aside from work, I have little joy. Wealth is only a fact. It's only a fact. We tell what the research said, that it's happiness, true happiness, the good life, it's not good looks. Some of the men watching this are like, praise God. It's not good looks. It ain't what we look like on the outside. When people find happiness or a sense of worth from the way that they look, it quickly becomes toxic. It quickly becomes self-centered and a barrier to true happiness. Listen, an outward pursuit will not bear or produce inward results. Another thing that the good life is not, is not thrilling experiences, meaning you can't live from the next cliff diving, extreme sport, next vacation, world travel, and find ultimate satisfaction. You won't find it in merely in experiences, and it's not personal achievements in fame, the good life. It's not personal achievements in fame. As great as those are, man, as awesome as moments of maybe winning championships or winning the Olympics or in your field becoming the most respected person that does the kind of work that you do, they're noble things, but they're not the ultimate source of well-being or satisfaction. You might remember the moment when Tom Brady, man, who's just a goat, like quarterback-wise. No one's gonna challenge that record, I would

believe, for Super Bowl titles, but after his second, he was being interviewed by Steve Croft, and he took a deep breath, and he said, there has to be more to life than this. There has to be more. He just fulfilled the pinnacle, and he still fell short of ultimate satisfaction. Over 80% of Millennials said that a major life goal is to get rich, and they're gonna get there and find out that it will not bring them happiness. High achievers often experience the pinnacle of emptiness at the very top. Listen to me, they bite down into it, and it turns to sand in their mouth and their soul. So what the research says the good life is is these things. You know what the good life is? It's close friends. Close friends. That good friends, guys, are gold, man. They're gold. The truth is, men, we long to have real buddies. Dr. Robert Waldinger says this, that people who are closely connected to family and friends are happier, physically healthier, and live longer lives than people that are less socially connected. You are made for community. You are made for relationship. You need people. laugh with, you need people to cry with. You need people to walk with. The beauty of this is in the family of God, the moment you put faith, you're hardwired into that and you just find your peers. The thing that the research said that the good life is, it's a good marriage. It's a true statement. Happy wife, happy life. That if you're learning how to live inside of a relationship the way that God intended, that there is a sense of satisfaction in that. It's been said in many ways that we're walking into, by the way guys, a series of marriages with the same woman. If you get married early and you have the privilege of being married for decades, every decade of your marriage will be a different kind of marriage. You got the marriage part before kids. Normally, typically, you have the stage of marriage with kids. You have the stage of marriage maybe with kids that are getting a little bit older. Then you have the stage where they're out of the house. Then you get into your latter years. If you made up your mind to have a good marriage, it promises the good life to keep working at it. Another thing that the good life is, is some control over life. I'm not talking about the kind

of control that is harmful. I'm talking about the kind of control that happens when you make wise decisions. If you've lived long enough on this planet, you know you can't control everything. You've also learned that you have the opportunity to steward many things. If you'll make some practical decisions that will put your life not in a crazy cycle, but in a controlled atmosphere, like staying out of harmful debt. There is something that robs men and families of life when you have the stress of debt. There's few things that will wreak havoc on a marriage like debt and financial decisions. Maybe making a decision to get that under control can help contribute to you experiencing the good life. Another thing that can help bring some control and some stability to your life is if you'll pay attention to your health. I'm just talking practically to my brothers here for a second. I'm not talking about eating grass and never eating a good steak. I'm talking about that you have a plan about how to be a healthier man. The truth is for Reno's, we're short round people. If I don't make conscious decisions in every season, I'm robbing from my future self to not let this area of our life get out of control. Another area is to avoid long-term disputes. You would make up your mind as a man that you're not going to live in this constant tension or bitterness towards people, but that you're going to find freedom. That you're going to bring some things to resolution. I remember one of the first times I've taught Better Man Core, after talking about the dad factor and even the dad one specifically, I met a 60-some odd year old man as I was going up to preach session four, I believe. He said, I want you to know that coming out of last week's session, I drove four hours to kneel down at my father's grave and to forgive him for some things from my childhood. He said, and I've never felt more free. I looked at him like, dude, you can't tell me that right before I go up here to teach. And second, way to go. Man, I'm looking at if you want the good life, unpack those things and find some freedom. Find some control over those things by doing what the Bible tells us to do. Another thing is to seek help to break any harmful or addictive habit. Seek help to encourage you to find

whatever area of bondage you might be in to find a way out of it. So those are some things that contribute to the good life that that social research gave us. You know, the last thing that I said, this is interesting. One of the things that's the contributor, a 75-year study that were contributing to people living the good life, it's a vibrant faith. A vibrant faith. Let me, you need to know this, that there's no such thing as a real manhood without a true faith. I'm not talking about a religious slice of your life. I'm talking about something that has changed you from the inside. Changed you forever. Over 23 years ago now, I came to believe the claims of Jesus Christ. That He is the way, the truth, and the life. I came to believe that. believe that Jesus came to live the life I couldn't live, die the death that I deserve, and then defeat death in his powerful resurrection through the witness of the younger brother, through the investment of a baseball coach who shared the gospel with me innumerable times to finally going to a church gathering and experiencing the presence of God in a tangible real way. I heard that good news and believed on him and I was made alive. That before that I was a dead man doing the best I could, but after I believed in the gospel, I was born again and made alive and then learned how to live through the truths of his word. So I want to encourage you to take some time to consider your spiritual state today. Where are you with God? Where are you in your relationships? Let me answer this question. How do you engage the faith side of the good life? How do you have a vibrant faith? We're going to bore down into one passage of scripture. First Peter 1 verses 3 and 4 it says, according to his great mercy, God has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away reserved in heaven for you. This is what a vibrant faith is. Faith begins with God's great mercy. Real faith starts with a real God, not with us. God has mercy. I don't care what kind of man you are. I don't care what kind of mistakes you've made. God has mercy for you if you'll receive it. No one has ever moved toward God first. He comes after us desiring to give mercy. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the mercy of God on display. That when we couldn't make it happen, he came for us anyway. That he was merciful, not wanting any to perish. That he wanted to turn lost

boys into real life-giving men. Even if we think we have life figured out, he's moving towards us with a better way. Even if we've rejected him, he's still running after us. God always makes the first move, and it may be through a stranger or an event or a crisis, a friend, a family member, or an unusual circumstance. Whatever means, God steps into our lives with a whisper or a shout, and he says, I got a better way. Maybe today, he's saying that to you. Not saying I want you to be a part of merely a church, or I want you to have a religious affiliation. He's saying, I want you to have a relationship with me. I want you to receive mercy. Having said that, I want to ask you, what's your spiritual journey been like, and where are you today to recognize your crisis, to believe in God's work, your need for mercy, your need for grace? Faith comes alive. Here's the second part of that. Faith comes alive when we respond to God and believe and are born again. Believe and are born again. The call of God's mercy gives us the opportunity to be born again. This is a biblical word that paints a spiritual picture that you're made alive. Every man is born once. If you're watching this, you've been born once. That's the physical birth. But every man that truly knows the good life has been born again. He's been born twice. Born physically, but also born spiritually. Meaning the moment that you put faith in his finished work and what Jesus did, you are made alive, and then you learn how to live physically and spiritually. Men that live the good life have the life of God in them. Let me tell you what I look for the longer I follow Christ. The more I look for in a person is God's life. Is there more to them than meets the eye? Is there something deep within? Is there the life of God springing up? I vividly remember that happening to me. I came out of a church gathering where I had knelt in an altar. This is the way it happened for me. That's the I have to be this way for you. But I knelt at an altar and cried out for Jesus to save me. And I walked out of that worship center. I walked across the street. There was parking at a grocery store near this church because there were so many people coming in at that season of the church. And I stuck my hands in the air.

I didn't grow up in church. I didn't grow up around the things of God. I knew nothing about worship. I'd been to church twice at that point. And I stuck my hands in the air because for the first time in my life, I was free. I was free. I'd been made alive. I want that for you. God wants that for you. Jesus paid the price for you to have that. Faith joins us to a living hope. Faith is only as good as the object it rests in. Today, we're making no calls to a program. We're making no calls to a self-help strategy. We're making no calls to a religion. By the truth of God's word, we're calling you to a person. And his name is Jesus Christ. And he has come for you. He is the resurrection and the life that he has through his resurrection, promised us, listen to me, for those who believe our resurrection, that we are made alive here in spirit, but we will live forever with him when we die. Jesus' resurrection changed everything and it can change everything in your life. Faith assures us of an inheritance in heaven. Man, I want to promise you something. We have life well beyond this life,

that when this life is over, eternity is gonna play out. That's what Jesus says in John 11, verse 25. I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live even if he dies. When a man filled with the life of God brings his last breath on earth, he breathes his first breath in heaven with his heavenly father. That's reserved for you. That is guaranteed for everyone who has ever believed, put faith that follows. Do you have a real faith that's gonna make a real difference on your last day? Because if you do, you got the good life. If you don't, you can. Man, if you get all the principles that we're sharing in this journey called Better Man, and you miss Jesus, you've missed it all. Because there's no such thing as being a better man until you've been born again. But when you're born again, it empowers us to live out every one of these principles. I'm gonna give you the most famous verse. You've seen it every ball game probably. You've seen plastered everywhere. John 3, 16, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. So the most important question I'm gonna ask you

in all 11 weeks, are you connected to Jesus? Have you put faith in his work on your behalf? I'm gonna encourage you. You shared some of your story, I hope, with those that you're walking through. It's time to talk about your spiritual story. The simplicity of the gospel is this, and this is what I'd call you to respond, to be brave even in that circle you find yourself saying, I need to do that today. I need to do that right now. The simplicity of the gospel is this, Jesus has done everything for us that we could never do for ourselves. And if we would turn from our sin, meaning recognize that I have broke God's laws, I've done things I shouldn't have done, things I know of and things I don't even know, but I am turning from it and I am trusting in Jesus' perfect life, sacrificial death and powerful resurrection. I'm asking him to save me. I wanna follow him. If that's you today, then I wanna encourage you in your time right there to let somebody know that I need to take the first right step in my faith by putting my faith in Jesus' finished work. Let them help you with that. If you don't have anybody in that circle with you

that can help you, find a pastor at a Bible-believing church that can, because that's the most important thing. And for those of us that have. Now, be reminded, there's no such thing as the good life outside of a vibrant faith. And even if you've taken that first step, the continual next right step in your faith is what leads to our ultimate flourishing. Take some time with your table questions, wrestle through it, know each other's spiritual story, and I can't wait to be back with you again next week.