The Love That Desires, Searches and Finds

We are so glad you could be here with us this morning. A special welcome to those who are online. Right now, we have a set of worship. Let's praise the Lord. Let's praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Let everything. Let everything. That has breath. That has breath. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. I praise in the valley. Praise on the mountain. I praise when I'm shook. Praise when I'm doubting. Praise when I'm numbered. Praise when I'm surrounded. Praise is the water. My enemy is drowning. As long as I'm breathing. I've got a reason to praise. I praise the Lord. I praise the Lord. I praise the Lord. I praise the Lord. I praise the Lord.

I praise the Lord. I've got a reason to praise. I praise the Lord. I praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. I praise when I'm feeling. Praise when I don't. I praise because I know. You're still in control. I praise because I know. You're still in control. You're still in control. My praise is a weapon. It's more than a sound. My praise is a shout. That brings Jericho down. As long as I'm breathing, I've got a reason to praise. Praise the Lord. Praise my soul. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. I praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.

Oh, my soul. I won't be quiet. My God is alive. How could I keep it inside? Praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. Let's praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. I won't be quiet. My God is alive. How could I keep it inside? Praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. Let's praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. Let's praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. Let's praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. Let's praise the Lord. Come on, praise. I praise because you reign. Praise because you rose and defeated the grave. I praise because you're faithful. Praise because you're true. Praise because there's nobody greater than you. Praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. I'm gonna praise the Lord. Oh, my soul.

Praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. Praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. I won't be quiet. My God is alive. How could I keep it inside? I won't be quiet. My God is alive. How could I keep it inside? I won't be quiet. My God is alive. How could I keep it inside? Praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. Yes, we praise you, Jesus. We praise you, we praise you, Jesus. Let everything die that's bread. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Let everything die that's bread. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Let everything die that's bread. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Let everything die that's bread. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Thank you, thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Lord, that you're all in Jesus' life. And we thank you. ♪ We've come for the holy one, holy one ♪ ♪ We've come for the holy one, holy one ♪ ♪ All we hunger for is you, all we hunger for is you ♪ ♪ If you need it, sing it out, we've come ♪ ♪ With expected hearts undone, knowing who you are ♪ ♪ Lord we've come for what only you can do ♪ ♪ So we sing holy spirit of life, find on the altar ♪ ♪ Fresh wind blowing through, we're gonna stay here ♪ ♪ Until we encounter you, make us an offering ♪ ♪ Make us an offer room, we're gonna stay here ♪ ♪ Until we encounter you, until we encounter you ♪ ♪ Until we encounter you, until we encounter you ♪ ♪ Make us desperate, tear our idols down, we're repenting ♪ ♪ This is still your house, yeah you'll dance in it ♪ ♪ When you said you'd pour your spirit out ♪ ♪ So we sing holy spirit of life, find on the altar ♪ ♪ Fresh wind blowing through, we're gonna stay here ♪ ♪ Until we encounter you, make us an offering ♪ ♪ Make us an offer room, we're gonna stay here ♪ ♪ Until we encounter you, until we encounter you ♪ ♪ Have you, have you a way Lord, oh we need you Lord ♪ ♪ Come on and say, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ Come on and say, you say, oh come on and say ♪ ♪ Oh come on and say we're hungry, we're desperate ♪

♪ Lord open the heavens, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ Oh we need you Lord, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ Oh we need you Lord, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ Oh we're hungry, we're desperate, Lord open the heavens ♪ ♪ We need a move of God, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ We need a move of God, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ We are hungry, we're desperate, Lord open the heavens ♪ ♪ We are hungry, we're desperate, Lord open the heavens ♪ ♪ We need a move of God, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ We need a move of God, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ We need a move of God, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ We need a move of God, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ We need a move of God, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ We need a move of God, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ We need a move of God, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ We need a move of God, we need a move of God ♪ ♪ We need a move of God, we need a move of God ♪ Worthy, worthy, worthy. Worship the Lord. Worthy, worthy, worthy. Worthy, worthy. The wages of forgiveness... Jesus... Behold the Man Upon the cross Who takes away The sins of All Forgiveness flows From hand and feet As violence meets

The Prince of Peace Behold the King A knight of the world A lamb that was slain A lion who roars Mighty to save The fullness of God Won't be counted the grave Cause darkness your hour is over Jesus... The love is dying plea Behold the grace On Calvary That rugged cross Soon to be Oh, the emblem of The risen King Behold the King A knight of the world A lamb that was slain A lion who roars Mighty to save The fullness of God Won't be counted the grave Cause darkness your hour is over A knight of the world A lamb that was slain A lion who roars Mighty to save The fullness of God

Won't be counted the grave Cause darkness your hour is over Yes, Jesus, You are mighty Mighty to save Jesus You're mighty to save Jesus No enemy can hold you down Cause there's nobody in the grave now One hand gets to wear that crown Cause there's nobody in the grave now No enemy can hold you down Cause there's nobody in the grave now One hand gets to wear that crown Cause there's nobody in the grave now No enemy can hold you down Cause there's nobody in the grave now One hand gets to wear that crown Cause there's nobody in the grave now No enemy can hold you down Cause there's nobody in the grave now One hand gets to wear that crown Cause there's nobody in the grave now Light of the world A man that was slain He's a lion who roars And he's fighting to stay Cause the fullness of God Won't be kept in the grave Say darkness your hour is over Light of the world A man that was slain

He's a lion who roars And he's fighting to stay Cause the fullness of God of God. It won't be kept in the grave. See darkness, your hour is over. No enemy can hold you down. Cause there's nobody in the grave now. One head gets to wear that crown. Cause there's nobody in the grave now. No enemy can hold you down. Cause there's nobody in the grave now. One head gets to wear that crown. Cause there's nobody in the grave now. Cause there's nobody in the grave now. You're holy, you're holy. Holy, holy. Are you worthy, oh mighty? Sing worthy, worthy is the Lamb. Sing worthy is the Lamb. Oh you are holy, you're holy. Are you worthy, oh mighty? Sing worthy, worthy is the Lamb. Oh you are holy, holy. Oh you are worthy, oh mighty. Sing worthy, worthy is the Lamb. Oh you are holy, you're holy. Are you worthy, oh mighty? Sing that one more time. Yes Jesus. You are holy, holy. Are you Lord God, oh mighty. Worthy is the Lamb, worthy is the Lamb. Sing worthy is the Lamb, worthy is the Lamb. Sing holy, holy is the Lamb. Oh holy, holy is the Lamb. Amen. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus, we praise you and we thank you Jesus for your holiness and for your presence God. We thank you for your spirit that fills us with joy God. Your word says the joy of the Lord is my strength. So God let that be today for us. God let you be the joy of our life right now God. As we continue um from worshiping God can you just give us the joy while we receive your word, while we go and meet people throughout our day today Jesus. We worship you and we praise you and we thank you in your mighty matchless name we all say amen. Amen, amen, amen. Thank you guys so much for worshiping with us this morning. Before you're seated why don't you greet somebody you haven't met before. So intro Good morning and welcome to Calvary Church. If you're new or visiting we'd love to get to know you. Please take a moment to fill out a connect card either in person or digitally on our app. We're excited for the chance to connect and pray with you. Join us tonight for Resonate. Come out as we celebrate with powerful worship and prayer with doors opening at 6 30 p.m and worship at 7 p.m. You can stay up to date and find more details on Instagram at ResonateNJ. It's going to be an unforgettable night and we can't wait to see you there. On Sunday May 3rd we are going to honor our associate pastors here at Calvary. We are so grateful for their leadership, service and heart for this church family. So please bring cards of appreciation on this special day. If you would

like to bless them with a financial gift we will be taking an offering during all our service times. Online and text giving will also be available using the keyword appreciation. Our next child dedication is coming up on Sunday May 17th. This is a beautiful moment where families can commit to raising their children to know and follow Jesus. If you'd like to have your child dedicated you can sign today by scanning the QR code in your bulletin or signing up through events tab on our app. Thank you for joining us today. We hope you enjoy the service. Morning Calvary Church. It is so good to see you online. I'm glad that you're here. First time guests. It's an honor to have you. Calvary Church let's give a big welcome to every person that's with us today and especially all of those online and our first time guests. Such an honor and a privilege to have you here. My name is Dan. I have the great honor and privilege of serving as the lead pastor here at Calvary Church and I am so so so glad that you are here for us today. It's going to be a great Sunday in church. If you would go ahead and pull out your connect card. Now there's a couple ways to do this. The first is in the bulletin. The handout that you received as you walked into service today and there's a perforated portion. You can tear that off. Drop that in the offering as it goes by in just a couple moments. The second is on our screen right behind us. There's a QR code. You can scan that with your phone and fill it out digitally or if you prefer to fill it out our church app is also a way to do so. You can search at Calvary space Delram in any of the app stores. Download it and then click the connect card tab and our team would love to follow up with you. We would be so so honored especially if you would write a prayer request and we had the privilege to get to pray for you this week by name and by need. We're a church that believes that prayer is our first response not our last resort and so it'd be an honor for us to get to do that to pray for you this week. You can also sign up for all of the events that are going on here in the life of our church and first-time guests if you would be so willing to mark that box that you're a guest we promise we're not going to hassle you or hound you. We would love to send you a text get a little bit of your feedback on the service today and I'd be honored personally to pray for you by name and need this week. Directly after service if you have not already guests please stop to our area that says first time to church we've got a gift bag for you and we'd love to give that to you no strings attached just our way of just welcoming you today. All right hey there's a lot of great things happening in the life of our church let me just give you just a couple friendly reminders. Resonate is tonight doors at 6 30 and worship at 7 and so that's a great night of worship multi-church night

of worship if you are interested in that young adults we'd love to have you for resonate and then next Sunday is our associate pastor appreciation Sunday. We are so grateful for the associate pastors that God has blessed us with here at Calvary Church. Our founding pastor, Pastor Paul Jackson, our development pastor overseeing our staff and kids life, Pastor Liz Nochese, our operations pastor, Pastor Jose Vargas, our small groups pastor, Pastor Kerry McCarthy and our youth pastor, Pastor Chris Stutzman. Aren't you so grateful for the people that God has blessed us with here as staff and leaders here at this church and so I would just encourage you have a couple things number one would you do this this week would you write a card to them and just write something about appreciation if they have led you or been an area that you have served in or just benefited from their ministry. I mean some of my favorite gifts that I've received over the years of ministry have just been handwritten personal cards where people saw a moment and spoke encouragement into me and then bring gifts next week we will receive an offering in addition to our regular tithes and world changers offering we will receive an offering for them and it'll get divided up and given to them and so I just encourage you the keyword is open now if you want to already start giving the word is appreciation under online and text giving or you can give via cash and check but it's going to be an exciting day next Sunday as we get to honor them all right hey for those that didn't know this past week I and a team of 10 have been in Uruguay in the country of Uruguay and we were building a church there at Calvary Church that we gave the $20,000 for the funds and then we sent the team and we constructed a church in Uruguay it's amazing they've got a couple pictures on the screen I'll walk you through our week of ministry in Uruguay so when we got there last Saturday this was all that was there ahead of the team getting there there was just a foundation a slab that was there and then our team came and Saturday and Sunday go ahead to the next picture we welded the frame and then we started putting on the roof of the church and then Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday we put up all of the bricks and did all the stucco around it and started to paint and then Thursday go ahead to the next picture this is the team that built this church right here in Uruguay faithful faithful hearts to serve the Lord team of ten they did an incredible job and then here is the last picture this was the dedication service

in their new building that night Calvary Church give yourselves a round of applause you built this building by your world changers giving and then also by the team that went and so this was the team that went and right in the middle is my brother who happens to be a missionary in Uruguay they've got a vision to plant a hundred churches in Uruguay Calvary Church you were church number 35 and let me tell you a little about this church this church in South say this church was meeting in a small storefront about 40 to 50 people regularly on Sunday mornings the storefront area was so bad that there was holes in the roof that every time it rained so like yesterday imagine the rain that we had every time it rained the storefront would literally flood and the sewage and the pipes right outside would back up into their church as they were having church services can you imagine that as we were having church this morning may we never take for granted what God has blessed us with here right and so Calvary Church we were able to come alongside and give $20,000 for the materials and then send the team and I'm telling you these people were so excited Thursday night as we declared that that's gonna be a house where lost people get saved and miracles happens come on can we give all the glory to God one more time Calvary Church thank you for your generosity you're an amazing amazing amazing church and the team I want to give a shout out to them they did an incredible job there was no grumbling no complaining it was a lot of work I learned very quickly that construction is not my spiritual gift the Lord has called me to be the pastor but I'm so thankful for the people that the Lord sent us on that trip who had those gifts and they did an incredible incredible job thank you for your giving regular ties and then thank you for your above giving we call that world changers we believe so much in blessing our world and impacting our world by planting churches and rescuing those out of sex trafficking and being online in a prison cell so that those behind bars can watch our services that we actually tithe we take 10% of our general fund our ties and we put that into this world changers bucket along with all of the above gifts that go to world changers and we're just here to plant more

churches and drill more water wells and impact our community locally and globally and see more future Christian leaders raise up Calvert Church you believe that our church can impact the world you already are and so thank you for your faithful giving I believe as we continue to plant seeds the Lord will continue to bless us so thank you for that Father Lord we just thank you for this day today we thank you so much Lord for the honor and the privilege to just get to serve you today and we honor you we bless you Lord I just pray a special blessing over that church in South State today as they meet for their first service Lord in that brand new building may your presence be in that service today God may lost people be saved Lord and God may you do a mighty mighty work in and through them and Lord now over the rest of our service today that you continue to work amongst us Lord God that we would give with a cheerful heart today knowing as we will give you'll take care of us we pray your blessing upon this service in Jesus name and everyone said amen you well once again want to say welcome and now Calvert Church hey can we give our best applause to the men and women who are watching from a correctional facility can we welcome them this morning hey you guys are not a project to us your family love that you are with us online watching with us today well we're in a week three of our series called the naked truth and we're studying verse-by-verse through the book song of Solomon loved getting to kick this series off week one and then pastor Paul I watched online did a great job on week two today I brought one of my good friends and he's not just a guest to us he's part of our church family here he leads a New Jersey Network in the next-gen department does a fantastic job great teacher of the word and always always has a great word for us Calvert Church can we stand on our feet can we welcome pastor Andy Lynn as he comes to bring the message today god bless you bro all right you may be seated on a two-time man what an honor to be in God's house I tell you what whatever past Pastor Dan needs, my answer is yes,

because God is using him, and God is using you and your church. Isn't it incredible what God is doing in and through Calvary Church? Absolutely incredible. Well, we're gonna continue, we had one clap, that was good, one clap. I was like, yes, yes, we got this. So, as Pastor Dan said, we're in the series Naked Truth, and today the title is The Love That Desires, The Love That Searches, and The Love That Finds. And I believe with all my heart, whether you're married, divorced, single, wanna be in a relationship, don't wanna be in a relationship, whatever season of life you are in, that the word today from Song of Songs can encourage you and deepen your walk with Jesus. So, a lot of people, when we enter a relationship series, kinda turn their brain off, but don't do that. And what Pastor Dan said in week one was so good. Pastor Dan had this statement, he said, "'God's way is not only right, but it works.'" In other words, God's way is not only the right way to do it, but it's also the most effective. And today, we're gonna be in Song of Songs, chapter three. You can go ahead and turn in your Bibles. You'll also see the verses on the screens. But in this passage, we're gonna see the Shulamite woman that we met in chapters one and two.

She's gonna have a dream where she's desiring for her husband, her beloved. She is longing for her beloved. She will search for her beloved, and then, as we'll find out, she will find her beloved. And as we read this, I was getting nostalgic about my own relationship with my wife. I've been married, it'll be this year, it'll be 19 years. It's kinda crazy, it's nuts. But I remember very vividly pursuing her because my wife couldn't stand me. I have very vivid memories. I didn't get saved till I was about 19 years old, is when I fully gave my life to the Lord, 18, 19. And so my sister's roommate in college was Santina, who grew up in this church. And so my first interaction with Santina, I wasn't saved yet, I get her on the phone, and I'm like, so you're my sister's roommate. I have a picture of you, you're pretty cute. I just started talking her up, it was terrible. So the first year of, like two years of college, she avoided me, and then she finally obeyed God and decided to date me, finally, in her obedience, right? So the day came for me to ask her to marry me, and I was desiring her, I was longing for her. And so I texted my mom, I texted my sister, just, hey, today's the day. I texted my dad, I was like, Dad, I can't believe God loves me enough to give me Santina.

And today, I'm gonna ask her to marry me. And I had this whole surprise built up. I had a ring that was specially made from a friend of a friend. I was gonna surprise her. Couple minutes later, I got a text back from Santina, and she said, I think this text was meant for your dad. I had like three months of planning in this. I had all this money, I botched the engagement, totally botched the engagement. However, I was longing for her, I was desiring for her, and to be completely transparent, I was longing to be in a sexual relationship with her. I was longing for that intimacy. The problem is that she didn't know it, is that I had a struggle with pornography. And so for me, I had longed for it for years, and I went to some mentors and pastors, and they told me that when I had a biblical outlet for sexual intimacy, that those feelings of lust would go away. And most of the teachings that I heard growing up was sex before marriage bad, sex after marriage, incredible, life-changing, fulfilling. And believe it or not, there's a lie in those statements. There's a lie in those statements. And there's a statement that I think is important today. If you believe a lie, it will affect your life as if it were true. If you believe a lie, it will affect your life

as if it were true. If you think your toxic relationships from the past, your sexual sin from the past prevents you from having a healthy relationship now, that's a lie. That's a lie. If you think that you have messed up so much that now God had a plan A, God had a plan B, God had a plan C, now you're on plan G or H, that's a lie. We serve a sovereign God who can take you out of the pit and use you today. We have a God who can take a broken relationship and not just mend it but make it new. Here's the lie that I believed. I believed that sex and marriage could fulfill me. It's a lie. Let me read you this. Sex is a gift from God, but it is not meant to fulfill you. It cannot do that. If you are single and you're not able to biblically engage in sexual intimacy, if that's your entire life and you go to heaven never having sexual intimacy with a human being, you have not missed out because you. You can have a completely fulfilled life because you have access to the only person who can fulfill you, Jesus Christ. Sometimes we take sex and marriage, and if we're not careful, we can make it into an idol that it's gonna fix us. The only thing in heaven and earth

that can satisfy me completely, fulfill me, change me from the inside out, is not a woman or a man, it is Jesus himself. That is it. And some of you are like, Andy, you didn't get the memo. This is a relationship series. Don't be encouraging people not to have sex. Don't be encouraging that relationship. Here's my point. If you want a healthy sexual relationship when you're married, if you want a healthy relationship as a boyfriend or girlfriend, guess what? You have to go into it knowing that person cannot be your savior. Marriage cannot save you and will not. So I'm gonna bring you through a list of truths today. If you're taking notes, you'll see it in your handout. But we're gonna go through these truths, and then we're gonna jump right into our passage. But what I did not want to happen is that we jump right into a passage on intimacy, and you walk away thinking, that's what I need to find. I need to find intimacy. And I think we're gonna see what we need to find in just a moment. Truth number one, don't ask a good thing to do a God thing. Don't ask a good thing to do a God thing. So I was married for about six months or so. I called a friend of mine, and honestly, I called him to complain about my marriage.

I called him to complain about my job, about my sex life. I just called him and complained. I was like, I don't understand this, I don't understand that, all these things. My friend says, are you done, Andy? I was like, yeah, I'm done complaining now. I'm good, I'm done, I got it all out. He goes, I'm glad, I need you to listen to me because I love you. He goes, you are looking for fulfillment from things that were never meant to fulfill you. He goes, you're frustrated with your wife because you made her an idol, but now you're not fulfilled by her. You're frustrated by your marriage because you thought it would fix things, but it hasn't. Pretty much, he said, Andy, you've made a good thing a God thing, and now you're upset that it can't serve you. Truth number two, idolatry is often using God as a means to an end. I didn't realize what I had done. I literally, I got saved, and I had this desire for sexual intimacy, so what I did was, I'm gonna serve Jesus so that I can have a healthy marriage, healthy sex life, and a healthy life and family. That doesn't sound terrible, but what it's saying is, Jesus isn't the prize. Marriage and intimacy are the prize. In other words, it's like using God as a cosmic vending machine.

I'm gonna put in, following him, I'm gonna put in this and that, and Jesus, you better give me a good wife. You better give me a healthy sex life. You better give me these things. I had it twisted. I had made an idol out of good things. We don't always reject God, but we often recruit him to get what we really want. Idolatry is not just removing God, it's using God as a means to another end. Sometimes, God isn't our goal, he's our strategy, and that was me. My strategy was, this is gonna fulfill me. I'm gonna use God to get it. I'm so thankful I had people in my life that spoke life into me and said, Andy, the only way to fix your marriage is nothing to do with your wife. She's wonderful. You need to fix you. You are broken. So the next truth is gonna put some of you off a little bit, but it's true. There's no such thing as a marriage or relationship problem. There's a single person problem that I brought into the relationship. Say it again. There's no such thing as a marriage problem, but a single person problem

that I brought into a relationship. I've done a lot of premarital counseling and some marital counseling, and what ends up happening is, if I'm broken and she's broken, we get married. That doesn't fix our brokenness. It puts a magnifying glass on it. It begins to show it. There's a statement in athletics that champions are not made in tough games. They're revealed in tough games. If people are having marriage problems, it's revealing individual brokenness. And what needs to happen, a lot of times when I sit down with a couple, my conversation, it almost never goes, I just hate the way he puts his toothpaste away. I hate that. I hate that he goes to put his clothes away, but the clothes never make it in the hamper. No, no. It's usually, I have an insecurity. He doesn't care about me. I had these expectations. He's not meeting my expectations. And what it ends up being is, we had two people that got into the relationship, they were broken, and they thought the other person would complete them.

What happens is, they become a victim of each other's brokenness. The best way for a healthy marriage is to have two complete people. So your truth number four is marriage math. I love this. One plus one equals one. One complete person in Jesus plus one complete person in Jesus. They surrender their lives to each other and become one. They become unified. Math isn't logical math, but it's so Biblical, we see it in Genesis. So, I'm gonna pray. We're gonna start walking down Song of Songs, but I wanted to give you that brief foundation so that when we talk about sexual intimacy, it is a wonderful gift in marriage, but it cannot completely if you have not given your life completely to Jesus. We pray for you, Lord. I just, I thank you for Calvary Church, that they have the boldness to go through these series. God, I pray a blessing over Song of Songs as we read it. Father, may it encourage us to follow you. In Jesus' name, everybody said. Amen. All right, Song of Songs three, verse one. It says, one night, as I lay in bed, this is the Shulamite woman from chapters one and two,

I yearned for my lover. I yearned for him, but he did not come. He was not there. Now, just hear me on this. This is so cool. King of kings, Lord of lords, holy of holies, song of songs. This was a sacred song in ancient scripture. This was absolutely sacred, not just about human sensuality, but also about God's love for us. So here, she's desiring for her husband. And this brings us to truth number five in your notes. Desire doesn't happen to us. It is cultivated. Desire doesn't just happen to us. It is cultivated. Now, when I say that, what I mean is, there are some times you can't have desire or lust happen to you. But in a biblical relationship, the longer you're married in sustained commitment, the more that desire can fade. But it doesn't have to. Desire can be cultivated. You'll see the passage there is Matthew 6, 21. The idea is wherever I put my treasure, my desires and my heart will go. In chapters one and two, the Shulamite woman is cultivating desire for her husband.

Now, there's a teaching going around that I'm a married guy, that it's my job that I have to get fit enough, I have to do enough good things that my wife should want to desire me. That is not actually a biblical teaching. The biblical teaching is, it is my job to cultivate in my heart desire for my wife. It is my wife's job in her heart to cultivate desire for me, whether I deserve it or not, whether she deserves it or not. For the married people in the room, it is your role to cultivate desire for your spouse. And you may be thinking, Andy, they don't do anything that deserves me to desire them. I just don't desire them. That's okay. Wherever you put your treasure, your desires will go. Well, what treasures do you have? You have time and you have money. It's an amazing thing. Wherever you put your time and your money, your desires will begin to drift there. And some of you are like, but Andy, she or he hasn't done this or has done this. I don't know how I can get desire for them. Aren't you glad that Jesus desires us even though we don't deserve it? Aren't you glad that Jesus pursues us when I'm a mess?

Aren't you glad? I do not deserve the pursuit of the Holy Spirit, but I have it. Your spouse will have seasons where they don't deserve your desire, and you have an amazing chance to worship God and be like Jesus as you choose to desire your spouse in obedience. Sometimes we want our feelings to catch up, but can I just tell you, the right righteous feelings follow the right righteous actions in obedience. When I minister to some couples, they're almost waiting. Well, I'll love him when he deserves it. I am so thankful God doesn't think that way. Absolutely. So as we get on to the next part of this right here in verse two, it says, so I said to myself, I will get up, this is the Shulamite woman, I will roam the city, searching in all of its streets and squares, I will search for the one that I love. This doesn't really make great sense here because she's a woman searching at night in a city by herself, but she's dreaming. And a lot of scholars, this is pretty cool, there's one other time in scripture specifically that a Shulamite woman is mentioned, and it's the Shulamite woman that they put with King David,

a young woman, to take care of him. And they said she was unbelievably beautiful, some of David's sons wanted her, and it says that she never had a relationship with David. So a lot of scholars think this woman is that young woman that cared for King David. But here she's dreaming, she's searching the streets trying to find him, she runs into some guards, and it says the watchman stopped, stopped me as they made their rounds. And she asked them, have you seen the one that I love? It's kind of a funny scene because she's this random woman asking a random guard. She doesn't say a name, doesn't describe him, she goes, have you seen the one that I love? And they can't help her, they can't help her. And it brings us to slide, to truth number six. This cycle of desire, searching, and finding our spouse is on repeat. A lot of us, when we dated our spouse, we married our spouse, right, now we have stopped pursuing, we have stopped searching. And I wanna encourage you, if you've been with Jesus for a year or 10 years, there is more of Jesus to find, to search, to explore. Sometimes in our own walk with Jesus, we get saved and our walk, if we're not careful, can plateau. In Revelation, it tells us that Jesus is so marvelous that for all of eternity, we will be excited

to experience something new about Jesus. I'm telling you today, if your walk with Jesus feels like you don't have desire for him, it is also our job to cultivate the desire in our hearts for Jesus. If I trust on my feelings, my feelings never drift towards the things of God, they always drift away from him. It is my job to cultivate desire for Jesus in my heart, it is my job to search for Jesus. It is my job to say, Jesus, I've been serving you for 10 years, five years, 20, 30, 50, 60 years, what do you want from me this week? I'll do whatever you need. And for those of you that have been married for a long time, what would it look like to sit down with your spouse and dream? Hey, we haven't dreamed in a while, I know we've just been in that grind, in a rut, what do you want to accomplish that I can help you with? I want to be a part of your dream. Your search and pursuit of your spouse should never end, even if they don't deserve it. And from talking to people between services, you know what's cool? If your spouse really doesn't deserve your searching, it's even greater worship unto God. So we get into truth number seven. He doesn't pursue us because we deserve it, he pursues us out of an agape,

no-strings-attached kind of love. Romans 5.8, in the midst of our sin, Christ died for us. There's a good chance your spouse, maybe, again, maybe you're new in marriage, maybe you've married for years, but just from hearing it in between services, we heard some fun comments, but you could schedule a date night. You know, like, Andy, they don't want to go on a date. All right, well, schedule something that you want to do and put it in the calendar, right? I want to be intentional. I want to give God the best parts of my day. I want to give my spouse the best part of my day. I want to cultivate desire for Jesus because he loved me first. I want to cultivate desire for my spouse. And we get into one of the toughest passages I've been dreading to read to you, honestly. This is Song of Songs 3, verses four through five. It says, then scarcely I left the guards, the watchmen. When I found my love, I caught and I held him tightly. And then I brought him to my mother's house, into my mother's bed, where I was conceived. In Jesus' name, amen. All right, we're gonna head out. And I actually, by the way, no married people in the house, please don't be like, that's a great idea. We're gonna go to my parents' house tonight. I'm gonna show you the bed.

I'm just kidding. Please don't do that. This phrase is about intimacy. It's a Hebrew colloquialism. It's an idiom. And all it means is, I held on to my love until we were intimate. That's all it means. And I like, the message paraphrase says this. No sooner had I left them than I found him. I found my dear lost love. I threw my arms around him and I held him tight. And I wouldn't let him go again until we were safe at home beside the fire. So in this story, this Shula White woman has cultivated desire for her husband. She has searched him and she was not okay until she had found him and they were intimate together. As crazy as it is, there's this beautiful parallel for us in Jesus. I have to cultivate desire for Jesus in my life. I have to search for him. And there's some times in life, your search looks different. Right now, I'm searching for Jesus interceding on behalf of my children. Earlier on in my marriage, I was trying to get rid of an addiction to pornography. I was trying to get rid of certain things. I was trying to surrender.

I'm thankful that God has healed me from some of those things. But now I'm still searching but with a little different direction. And now, I'm not satisfied until I've had intimate times with Jesus. And for my couples in the house, this is gonna sound crazy, but I've said it every service. If you're married and you're not regularly experiencing sexual intimacy, could I encourage you to schedule it? Andy, you are nuts. Why are we talking about this in church? Because biblically, and there's several passages in 1 Corinthians and other ones where intimacy is not supposed to be withheld from each other. It's supposed to be regularly sexually intimate. And if it's not happening organically, I get it. Certain seasons of life are busy, it's tough. Schedule it, and I would encourage you to schedule your intimacy times with Jesus. Put it on your calendar of spending 30 minutes with him in the morning. I wanna encourage you, Jesus is pursuing you. Will you respond? Do you know that no one in this room found Jesus? He pursued you. Jesus wasn't playing hide and seek.

The scripture says he's been pursuing you. All you did was respond to his pursuit. You respond to your desire of him. I love what Jesus does when he's with the disciples. The night, his last teaching with the disciples, he pulls out this language about pursuit and desire and longing. What Jesus says, he takes the cup of wine and he says, this is my covenant. This is my cup of the covenant, would you take and drink? And when you and I hear that, we think communion, crucifixion, resurrection. That's not what the disciples heard. Because in a Jewish wedding celebration, in a Galilean wedding, this is how it would work. I would grab my son and he would desire and long for another Jewish girl. And we would decide together, what is that girl worth? We might give her 10 coins and five heifers and 10 chickens and we would get this livestock together and we would go, she would bring her family and we would offer for a chance to purchase the right to ask this girl to be his wife. And what he would do, he would take a cup and he would say, this is my cup of the covenant. Would you take, would you drink? And if she drank it, they were actually married on the spot but their marriage wasn't complete until they had a marriage feast and then the night where they would consummate their marriage

but here's what's crazy. He would turn to her and he would say, hey, I'm gonna go back home. I'm gonna prepare a place for you because in my father's house, there's rooms. I'm gonna build a room on the outside for you and for me but only my dad is gonna tell me when it's ready. So I don't know if I'm coming in two months, I don't know if I'm coming in a year or two years but will you be ready for when I come to get you as my bride? So she would go back home, he would stay where he is and he would work on the house till it was complete and when it was complete, he would grab his groomsmen, he would get a trumpet and they would blow the trumpet but the bridesmaid had to be ready. She had to have oil in her lamps, she had to have tin coins on. She was a worthy bride because she had a worthy groom that was pursuing her, desiring her but every day, here's what's crazy. Ladies, could you imagine this? You never know what your wedding day is but every day for two years, it could be today. So every day, you're taking care of yourself. Your whole life revolves around when the groom comes back. When Jesus went to his disciples and says, this is my cup of the covenant, would you take and drink? Those disciples were not thinking about his death because they didn't know what was gonna happen.

They were saying, Jesus wants that kind of intimacy with us. Jesus, where are you going? They didn't understand but they knew, when they took and drank, they were saying, we are committing to you. For me, every time that I take communion, in the back of my mind, I'm renewing my wedding vows with Jesus. Jesus, I have not been a worthy bride but I wanna be a worthy bride. What's crazy is in that story, that young man offers his life, his commitment to a worthy bride but Jesus offers it to you and me, an unworthy bride. Sometimes we're adulterous to Jesus. Sometimes we have idols. Sometimes he takes the last place in our list of to-dos but Jesus still says, will you take, will you drink? I love you, I'm pursuing you. So whether you're online today, you're in one of the correctional facilities or you're in this room, Jesus is pursuing you, he is desiring you, he wants to be with you. All you have to do is, Lord, yes, will you take me? But here's the challenge, if you're married in the house, that's our job to do to our spouse. Cultivate the desire to love them when they don't deserve it, to do life with them, to schedule intimacy.

It's not easy but marriage becomes one of the best ways we can model to the outside world that we are a believer in Jesus as we offer grace to our spouse. As we close, that last fill in the blank for you is Jesus doesn't require we find him and hold on tight, he pursues us and he secures us. Here's some next steps for you. Number one, accept the invitation of Jesus that he makes to an unworthy bride who hasn't been waiting or longing. Jesus makes the invitation to us even though we don't deserve it. Number two, if you are married, practice cultivating desire for your spouse. It's incredible. When you say, Lord, would you give me a desire for my spouse and you begin to pray that and you begin to put your treasure there, how you begin to kind of have a little flashback and butterflies and excitement. God is so good to us. I would encourage you to schedule date nights, schedule intimacy, if you find that that's not been happening organically. And I would encourage you to begin to obey the Lord. Just like for me, I tithe my first fruits, I also like to give God the best part of my day. I'm a morning person. I need to be with Jesus in the morning.

It's the best part of my day. That's when I'm the sharpest. And you should also give the best part of your day where your schedules align with your spouse. Last but not least, long and look forward to Jesus's return as he comes and he gets his bride. You know what's neat? If you've had months or a year or two where you're like, Andy, I have not been focused on God. I have not been a bride that's worthy. You know what's cool? All over scripture, guess what is new tomorrow? His mercies and grace for you every single day. But I believe if you're married or about to be in the room, you have an extra special responsibility above that. And that is to not just pursue Jesus, pursue your spouse, not just cultivate desire for the Lord, cultivate desire for them, not just pursue him, pursue them. And you get to love the Lord in such a cool way and worship him as you love your spouse. Let me pray for you. Lord, I just thank you for Calvary Church. God, I pray that we could worship you with how we treat our spouse. God, I pray for all the single people in the room, for all of us in the room, Father, could we be fulfilled and complete in you and you alone? Father, will you teach us to desire you?

God, may we pray the prayer. Lord, help us desire you. Lord, give us a heart for you. Lord, I pray that we would not depend upon just our feelings. God, that we would obey and that we would schedule times with you and our spouse. God, I pray your blessing over today. Father, may people today be brought from darkness into light. We ask this in your holy name. And everybody said, amen. And amen. Hey, can we thank Andy for the message today? Great word. Hey, just in a posture of response, I know that message is good for all of us to hear today. I love what he said. In seasons where you don't feel it and you don't want it, with your relationship with the Lord, let that prayer be. God, let me want to want you. God, let me need to need you. Whether you're feeling it or not, let our faith pursue Jesus despite our feelings. Hey, I wanna just lead you through one more response. Every single Sunday, we always give an invitation for people to make Jesus the Lord of their life. Even if it's on a Sunday on relationships,

today is a beautiful day to make Jesus Lord of your life. Would you bow your head with me one more time in prayer? Father, we thank you for this chance to just be here today. And we love you and we honor you. And Lord, we thank you for the gift of God the Father, sending his son, Jesus, to live a perfect, sinless, spotless life. So now as Romans 10 says, that if we declare with our mouth that Jesus is Lord, believe in our heart that God raised him from the dead, that we will be saved. And so God, you just see every person right now. You're searching, even in this moment right now. Lord, you've even been speaking to their hearts, even in this message today. Lord, if there are those of you who are far from you today, let this be the moment of recommitment, no turning back. And for those that have never made that decision, let today be the day of salvation. Come on, if that's you in this room today and you realize you're far from God and you need to recommit, or for the first time in your life, you need to make a decision to follow Jesus. God sent his son, Jesus, lived a sinless, perfect, spotless life so that you and I could have relationship with him again. The Bible says the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life. And it's invited to you today in this moment.

Ready, one, two, three. If that's you, come on, just lift your hand right now in this moment. I need to make Jesus the Lord of my life. Recommit to him. Fantastic, I see those hands that are lifted. You can throw them right back down. And let's all pray together so that no one prays alone. Repeat after me, say, Jesus, say, I come to you today. God, I know that I've sinned, but I ask you to forgive me. I ask you to change me. I ask you to be the Lord of my life. And from this day forward, I'll follow you. Come on, then, say this prayer. Say, my life is not my own, but I exist for your glory and your honor. In Jesus' name we pray.