Sex Worth Waiting For

And as you turn there to Song of Solomon, chapter 4, heads up, I would not, if I had elementary age or younger kids in the gathering, let my kids listen to this sermon before, you know, just this one's rated Fresh Life 13, is what I'm trying to say. So give you a second to get them into Fresh Life Kids. And also, if you're driving down the road in the minivan, you've thrown the teaching on, this would be one probably to listen to first. And then you can have the conversations as appropriate with the younger ones. The content, well, let me just say this. I'll never forget the day I read Song of Solomon 4 for the first time. I was like, wow. OK, there it is. I was in chapel. I was in third grade. And it was a blue adventure Bible my parents had given me. And the teacher at our Bible class thing said, could you turn to the book of Isaiah? So that's an easy way to find Song of Solomon, by the way, because it's Ecclesiastes, then Song of Solomon, then Isaiah. So I was trying my best to find Isaiah. And I stumbled into Song of Solomon 4. And a few of the steamier parts of this chapter caught my eye. Now, I didn't know what a lot of what was there was going to mean. I wouldn't object to a younger kid reading the chapter. But as you explain it and talk about it with context, it's like, oh, that's even more intense than I thought.

But I literally remember having to check the cover to make sure it was a Bible, the words that I was seeing. And then I thought to myself, it is a Bible. And I thought, it really is an adventure Bible. So that's where we're going today. We are going to see the wedding night of Solomon and his bride, the Shulamite. We're going to see God's thoughts. He's going to frame for us what the wedding night experience should be like for these two who have chosen to wait until saying I do to have sex for the first time. And we're going to find out God's thoughts on how you should approach the first time you have sex. Now, of course, we are steeped, like a teabag, in the world's thoughts on the subject, are we not? And some of you are like, how can a pastor talk like this? I'm like, wait, you think we should just let the devil be the only one who talks about sexuality? Because let me tell you, if you don't talk to your kids about sex, the devil will find someone who will. So we're opening up the words of the one who invented it to learn how to use this gift that he gave to us. But it's shocking and weird to talk about these things in church. So should we just allow our thoughts on them to be framed by songs? Like this one. I found this one. I could have picked out any song.

How about this one? Here's how these two have sex for the first time. I met this girl on a Monday, took her for a drink on Tuesday. We were making love by Wednesday. And on Thursday, he hit it again on Friday and Saturday. But low key, we just got to chill on Sunday. So this is how we're going to think about sex. This song, by the way, been streamed 400 million times. More than Gratitude by Brandon Lake, more than the song we just sang, What a Beautiful Name by Hillsong Worship. This is pervasively out there being streamed, being sung to, right? We don't even realize it's so catchy. Yeah, met a girl on a Monday, took her for a drink on a Tuesday, made love for the first time on a Wednesday, hit it again on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, chilled on Sunday. Maybe they should be in church on Sunday and learn God's plans for how to approach sexuality. Just a thought. Just a thought. And it's overt like that, in our face like that, being sung like that, billions and billions and billions of dollars spent to market a plan for sexuality that we will see on movie screens and cell phone screens, in feeds and listen to and hum along to in songs that's embracing an outlook on sexuality different from the one who invented it

and says he has a plan for us. It's also like less overt, too. Like a while back, I saw on GQ, I followed them on Instagram, you know, like clothes tips, like should I wear a two-button or a three-button sport jacket, right? And I came across this post that I thought was interesting. It was tips for your wedding. Here's some advice for you, which I thought would be about cummerbund or vest, you know? But no, GQ's tips for, there was some good stuff. Don't get me wrong. You should write thank you notes and do it the sooner the better after you get married. That's a great idea because otherwise, like 12 years will pass. You're like, I never wrote that thank you note for the toaster, you know? And then they said this about a dress code for your wedding. It said, don't send your guests your wedding mood board. If your dress code requires its own Pinterest to decipher, your dress code is too complicated. I stand by that. I stand by that. But then I saw this, and it gave me pause. It said to the bride and groom, you should spend the night together, sleep together before. or you get married. You'll sleep better unless you have the fear of God in your heart, and then the next day

will be a lot less hectic. Well, there's the world's thoughts on how to approach the wedding night. Just sleep together ahead of time. It'll solve a lot of problems, right? What we're going to find in God's word is this, he has something better. Sex, here's the title, worth waiting for. Sex, worth waiting for. Not to experience the mingling of souls with someone you met yesterday. You hearing me? Sex, worth waiting for. Here's what we read in the first verse of Song of Solomon 4. Behold, you are fair, my love. Behold, you are fair. You have dove's eyes behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats going down from Mount Gilead. Oh, bless his heart. He's trying. He's trying his hardest. All right, what's happening here? They have left the reception. They had that slice of cake. The bouquet got tossed. And now the limo has brought them to the honeymoon suite at the Hyatt. That's where we were, Jenny. Remember that?

Remember when we walked into our, I'll never forget, we didn't book the honeymoon suite. We couldn't afford all that. We booked a room with a king-sized bed. We were, well, my one request, can I have a king-sized bed? We walked in, there was two double beds. Two beds, people. No. We've been in two beds. We want one big bed. She said, do you want to? And I called the front desk. They didn't have any other rooms. You know what we did? We just slept in separate beds. I joke. We did not. We made do on one of them. In the room, Solomon is not rushing. First of three words I want you to jot down that should mark the wedding night for the Christian, OK? It should be gentle. Gentle. He has not even lifted her veil up yet. They're standing there. And he's looking through her veil to her eyes. And he runs back some material from earlier on in their relationship when they were, we talked about eye contact. They weren't making out.

He was just looking in her eyes, talking about how they were black and beady like a dove, you know? And he says, I want to drink you in. You're fair. Someone said, one commentary said, before he ever touched her with his hands, he touched her with his words. He will actually, if you count them, praise seven things about her before he ever touches her, which is, of course, the Hebrew number for perfection. And he's essentially using his words to say to her, you are not a Big Mac to scarf down from McDonald's. Girl, you are a Michelin star rated feast. And I intend to appreciate every course, every flavor, right? This is going to be an experience. We are going to enjoy this. This is 11 Madison in New York. This is the French Laundry. He is drinking her eyes in. And then as her veil comes off, her hair comes down, which, as I recall, involved like 87 bobby pins. I was like, there can't be more. There are more. There can't be more. There are more. Shocking amount of bobby pins were involved. And her hair, she Pantene probes that hair. And he's like, girl, it's like goats coming down the mountain. It's like goats.

It's like, what is this, shepherd cosplay? What's happening here? Kind of, actually. They both were super interested in agriculture. And apparently, the goats of Gilead would have grange at 3,300 feet above sea level and would come down to the valley below. And as they would, they would cascade down. It would look like a black waterfall. In the distance, apparently, it was a feature. If you ever experienced that, you could not miss it. The goats coming down with the white rock against it. And it almost looked like hair coming down. That's what he's referencing here as he uses farmer flirting. you know, to get her wild. And they're taking their time. They're being gentle. And what we're trying to glean from this is that there's no rush. There's no hurry. There's no one that's going to bust in. There's no one that's, you know, this isn't illicit. This isn't stolen. It's not sneaky. This is done with the lights on. And as you think about the fact that he is just feasting with his eyes and starting again with her hair, with her eyes, I think the intention, his intention is to go from head to toe.

Full disclosure, he will not make it to her toes, right? We don't ever find out what her little piggies look like because they don't make it there. But there's no rush. And I just caution, you know, probably more for the guys, you know, to not have in your mind the Indianapolis 500 as your frame of reference for, you know, this whole thing. If you're picking a playlist out, keep the William Tell overture off as the first song. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, right? He's just, he's breathing, he's looking, he's appreciating, he's not wanting her to feel, right? Because especially if you've never had sex before, this is new. This can bring anxiety. This is different. He's putting her at ease. If you think like questions like, well, how will I perform? You're thinking about it wrong. You're framing this from culture. Lovemaking is by definition going to be new to you, thus you'll be bad at it, OK? When you gave your life to Jesus, you were bad at walking with Jesus. You're like, no, me? Yes, probably you worse than others. You got baptized, you're a baby, you're born again, you're in a relationship with Jesus. Amazing, but you don't know how to walk with him,

how to please him. You're going to be bad at things you've never done before. So when you say I do, you'll have your whole life to get good at it. And all the data backs up that the greatest sense of satisfaction on Earth you can have from lovemaking is fidelity, it's monogamy, and it's constants. Those who have the most amount of partners have the most amount of problems. You want to talk about erectile dysfunction, you want to talk about women who don't experience climax, this is the constant trading of partners. This is casual sex. This is one night encounters. I met you at a bar, I swiped right on a thing. This is not tapping into your Solomon is drinking her and saying, I don't want your body, I want all of you. I want to look you in the eyes. I didn't marry a body, I married a bride. I'm becoming one with you. You get my money, you get my soul, you get my spirit, socially, honey, I am yours. I want you. I see you. And there's no sense of rush. Verse 2, your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep, which have come up from the washing. Look, mouthwash is foreplay. That's a fact. Every one of which bears twins, and none is barren among them.

There's no orthodontics, there's no dentistry. So to say your teeth are clean and white and totally there is high praise. He's hit the jackpot. He's very happy with that. Your lips are like a strand of scarlet. Your mouth is lovely. It's a very intimate thing to have your hands on someone's face. You could see him caressing her bottom lip with his thumb gently. Your temples behind your veil are like a piece of pomegranate. I read this commentary that had literally six pages. It was trying to argue about whether or not her cheeks were the color of the inside of a pomegranate or the outside. And I was like, it doesn't matter. Verse 4, your neck is like the Tower of David built for an armory. She's like, colder, colder, which hang 1,000 bucklers, all shields of mighty men. All right. He's praising her jewelry now. It adorns your neck like these shields that were hung. And my dad built this great tower. And but here's the point. He understands what you need to understand. Verbal communication is key, especially we're stereotyping here now.

There are certainly people that fit the opposite. But men are wired in such a way where there are more, it's been said, like microwaves. When are you ready? Now. It's just the bell went off. Is that too hot? You're going to burn your mouth? Doesn't matter. I already ate it. What's the problem? Did it taste good? I don't know. I don't remember. It's helpful. I'll probably finish it, right? That's a man, right? When is Solomon ready? The day they met. He was ready. He's ready. He continues to be ready. But women are not microwaves. Stereotype here, but often true. Women are more like crockpots. And it takes time, and things got to go in it, and it's got to get warm. Is it warm yet? No, it's not warm. It's not warm yet.

What's it going to take to make it warm? I don't know. And that's the fun. That's the fun. Because we, as men, we want there to be a code, right? And you get the crockpot hot one day, and you remember, I got to remember what I did to get that thing so hot. I think it was beep-bop-boop-bop-bop. That was the code I used. And so we write that down. I'm like, I need to remember that code. I'm going to hang on to that. I'm going to say this later. We put it in our wallet, fold it up. Later on, we pull that code, beep-bop-bop-bop-bop. And it doesn't work. And you're disappointed, and you say, it worked last time. And she's like, well, I don't know what to tell you. It's not working right now. The code must have changed. And it will tell me the new code. And she says, I don't know the new code either. Otherwise, I would tell you. You're just going to have to, right? So he's experimenting. He's talking about the necklace. He's talking about the shields, the pomegranate, the cheekbones, the hair. And this is the deal.

He is willing to be as gentle as it takes to take as much time as it takes for there to be a sizzling soup in the crockpot, all right? And they're both also generous. The word choice you're thinking is probably odd. You're like, Levi, generous, right? Hot, right? What about sexy, passionate? Generous feels like a weird choice. Let me tell you something. All of those things will come out of their commitment to generosity. It's an amazing thing that Jesus taught us when he said, it is more blessed, this is the book of Acts, to give than to receive. And I've been married for two decades. I'm going to tell you, that is the best sex advice you will ever read from the lips of Jesus. It is more blessed. You want, listen, in God's kingdom, it's upside down. So it's always giving, not keeping, that leads to receiving. So I'm telling you, it will get hot. It will get passionate. It will be sexy, all because you have two people who are choosing to esteem each other's needs as better than their own. It reminds me of a story I heard that goes like this. A guy and his wife, bad, bad, bad. They did not have a good marriage.

He wanted to divorce her, but he wanted it to hurt. And so he met with a counselor who was a friend of his. And he said, I want you to help me build. When I deliver the divorce papers, I want it to knock the wind out of her. I don't want it to be just regular. I want it to eviscerate her. And so he said, well, here's what you could do. You could try and get the marriage going in the right direction, and then tell her you want a divorce. He said, brilliant. What do I do? He said, treat her like she's your queen. Treat her like she is the most ravishing thing. From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep, your one job is her happiness. Your one job. Do that for 30 days. Then when she is like unbelievable, the most Mr. Bus Driver, move that bus. She's like, who is this husband? She wants to just be with you forever. Then throw those divorce papers down in her Eggo waffles. He goes, I love it. So next morning, he wakes up. She's a queen. I'm going to treat her like a queen. What does a queen get? He waits on her. He's thinking, he's breakfast in bed, and notes, and flowers,

and the little things that would make her happy. I'm going to do it. A little chore, so I'm going to go there. I'm going to be there. Offering to do stuff for the kids, unbelievable. In the sex act, his only job is toe curling sex for her. He doesn't even think about his own needs. 30 days comes and goes. His friend doesn't hear from him. So his friend calls him up one day and says, well, how'd it go? How'd she take it when you told her you're going to divorce her? And the guy goes, are you kidding me? I'm married to a queen. What would I possibly? Did you see where I'm going with this? You see more of what you stare at. And when you seek to serve, you can help someone become how you treat them. And so we see this not only gentleness, but also generosity and reciprocity. It continues to heat up as he's gone head and now shoulders and now under the shoulders. Verse 5, your two breasts, he says, are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, which feed among the lilies. Here's a couple of thoughts in passing without any eye contact. But if you saw two baby deer and you thought, I want to pet them, you would need to move slowly. One pastor said, there's no honking.

He doesn't honk her like she's a bicycle horn. It's not, ooga. Now, look, no man has ever left middle school. cool, OK? And so he's refraining. He's treating her gently. He's moving softly. He's thinking, how would she want to receive this touch? And so he's approaching like, but what he really wants to do, he says in verse 6, until the day breaks and the shadows flee away, I will go my way to the mountains of Myrrh and to the hill of frankincense. Now listen, if you look to the maps in the back of the Bible and you look for the geographical feature of the hill of Myrrh and the mountain of frankincense, you will not find them. No such place exists in Israel. She wore a necklace called Myrrh and it hung between her breasts. And she described him early on as wanting him to be there between her breasts. And he is saying, that's where I want to be also. And I want to stay there all night long. That's what I want. He says in verse 7, I love this verse, you are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you. Warmer, warmer. This is temple language. When you brought a sacrifice, the priest would judge it as being spotted or spotless.

By saying it, because now essentially they're undressed with the lights on. And he's just like, I just, you're beautiful. Now remember, when they first met, he praised her. And she goes, no, my skin. Don't look at me. Don't look at me because I'm not as pretty as the other girl. There's insecurity. And his love for her has caused her to bloom as he was obsessed with her. But looking in her eyes and speaking life over her, not wanting to take, not in a rush with her, not trying to get what he could get from her. It caused her to melt those insecurities away. She started saying stuff like, I'm the rose of Sharon. I'm a lily of the valleys. And so now he's looking at her going, this is beauty. Listen, this is his standard of beauty. By declaring her who he waited for, the standard of beauty, it is what anything else is to be judged against. So he's not comparing her to anybody else. And in our culture, we have these images that are what beauty is, what perfection is. And if we are not that, we got to chase that. We got to pretend we have that. We wish we had that. So then with pornography, we invite all the other thousands of other images we've invited into our souls through our eyes. And now this person in our bed has

to be compared to everything else we've looked at. But no, when you have it scaled, there's a button on it called tear. And when you push tear, it melts down to zero. And anything then that's put on it starts at that starting point. Solomon, in drinking her in, says, this is my standard of beauty. And guess what? She doesn't have to try and pretend as life goes on and gravity and aging are what they are, that she still has that. Because she is the moving, aging standard of beauty, like fine wine in a French oak barrel. That's going to get better with time. Everything beauty is to me is what you are. And as you grow, I grow with you. I long for you. I am and want what you become with me. He's intertwined his life and his heart and his eyes around her. And it's not to be judged or compared. No one else is allowed into that imagination. She is what he wants. She's what God gave to him. You are all fair, my love. You never have to be anything else other than what you are. Because what I want is you. I long for you. I waited for you.

I treasure you. I value you. And I only got eyes for you. That's hot. That's sexy. That's God's plan for marriage. It's a lot better than I met you on a Monday, took you for a drink. Oh, you got a whole drink out of him. And then he made love to you four days in a row. Oh, big, strong man. Made love four days in a row before you had to chill on a Sunday. No, you know what's real sexy? A man who fears God, a woman who wants what God wants for her, and them coming together, bowing their knee to him and enjoying the gift that he invented of sexuality together before him in the light. And that's the true key to lasting enjoyment. And that's why it's worth it to keep lions and leopards around when you're dating. That's what verse 8 says. Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse. With me from Lebanon. Look from the top of Amman, from the top of Sinair and Hermon, from the lion's dens, the mountains of the leopards. They're referring back to how they had to protect themselves so that they could get to this. It was worth it, the ferocity it took to keep the foxes away, to protect the marriage from all the things that

would have devoured it. But they don't have to have that protection anymore. Because they're here. Verse 9, you've ravished my heart. My sister, my spouse. New language. Never use that nickname. You're like, what are they, from Kentucky? No, no, no, no. No, no. In the Hebrew, this is essentially my dear wife. My dear wife. I love the thought of Jenny, a sister in Christ, also my spouse. My sister, my spouse. Ravished my heart. Just one look from her eye. We call that wife eye. With one link of your necklace. They didn't build their marriage on premature intimacy, which is a false substitute for true emotional encounter. They built their foundation on friendship. And so as now they get to add sexuality, it's the cherry on top. But listen, you don't build a sundae on a cherry. You need a base. And they had a friendship. And so now that's going to continue to guide them, and help them, and enhance them, as his best friend now has become his lover.

How fair is your love, my sister, my spouse? How much better than wine is your love and the scent of your perfumes than all spices? Warmer, warmer, warmer. Your lips, oh, my spouse, drip as the honeycomb. Honey and milk, and they're under your tongue. I would just point out real quickly, honey and milk are the two things you can eat on this planet that don't involve any death of any kind. And they're a picture of the promised land. And they always point back to Eden, to what life was like before the fall, where we could enjoy life without any sin that brought death about. They're making out, it's clear. How does he know what her tongue tastes like? He's tasting it. And it's like honey and like milk. Fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. Now listen, as they're drinking each other, I'll point out that France, at this point, will not become a nation for 1,800 years. This is Hebrew kissing. That's what this is called. It's not French kissing. They can call it there's all they want. It's Jewish, all right? And for those who are not yet married, let me just say to you that French kissing, Jewish kissing, is foreplay, OK?

It's meant to move you towards intercourse. So if your plan is a bunch of making out, but then run like hell out of there as quick as you can without having intercourse, it's not a great plan. Just FYI. All right, but now it's fair game. And to the married folk, they're married for a long time, to rekindle the love, to rekindle the foreplay, to rekindle the kissing, to rekindle the touching as an enjoyment, not just as a means to an end. First of all, a garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse. A spring shut up, a fountain sealed. This is Neil Armstrong. He's like, dude, I'm about to go where no man's ever gone before. And I love it. It's fantastic as I plant a flag here. This is a beautiful thought. They've both saved each other, and they're just appreciating and recognizing the power of virgin soil. Man, you've saved yourself for me. I just want to acknowledge that. I never forget just Jenny telling me that she had heard this verse, this literal verse right here. I just read to you, verse 12, when she was in sixth grade and saying, I want to save the waters of my sexuality for my husband one day. And I just honor you for saving yourself for me and fighting for me and waiting for me. And what a joy that was to be a part

of appreciating that then being experience as I became that man that you were waiting for. But I also want to point out, right now, there's not been intercourse yet. And so you have to ask the question, when in the wedding night is it time for actual intercourse, when the woman is ready to open the garden? That's when it's time. For Jenny and I, we've never said this on a microphone, but we didn't end up having what you would call sex on the first night. And there can be a lot of reasons for that, physical anatomy, and new, and there's a thing called a hymen, and there's things called nerves, and there's when you've never done something again. But my perspective was, and we made this clear right away, your comfort is my goal. Your being at ease is the goal. And so if it takes a long time, that's great. And it did not take a long time. It took one next day. But listen, there's no pressure in marriage. There's no rush. There's no fear. There's no, I'm owed this. I waited for this. how Solomon's talking about her. Your garden's still closed here. There's not been the foreplay to indicate you want me in your garden.

So I'm just going to appreciate your garden. And it didn't take long for them either. Verse 13, your plants are an orchard of pomegranates. If you circle the word orchard, it's the only time in the entire book of Song of Solomon a word is used called pardes. And we get our English word paradise from it. So he's calling. And of course, that harkens back to the garden, paradise. Your body's a John Mayer ain't got nothing. Her body was a wonderland, Solomon said. Pomegranates, pleasant fruits, fragrant henna with spikenard, spikenard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon with all the trees of frankincense, myrrh and aloes with all the chief spices. And that punched the code in apparently. Because now, verse 15, we have lubrication. A fountain of gardens, the well of living waters, streams from Lebanon, and an invitation from her to come into the garden. Verse 16, awake, she says, speaking for the first time, oh, north wind. The north wind was a strong wind. But then she says, and now come, oh, south wind. South wind was a gentle wind. It's just his fingertips. And she says, if you use both of these winds, and then she invites him to blow upon her garden. And if he does, its spices will flow out. And then she says, let my beloved come to his garden

and eat its pleasant fruits. And he says, OK, and does. And that's the end of the chapter. I'll just point out that multiple times throughout their dating and engagement, they had to remind each other, it's not time to wake stuff up yet. It's not time to wake stuff up yet. Don't waken, don't waken. She gave her advice to her girlfriends. Don't wake up love, don't wake up love, don't wake up love. What did she say? What's the first word in verse 16? Look at it on the screen one more time. She said, cock-a-doodle-doo, cock-a-doodle-doo. No, she said, awake, awake, oh, north wind, awake. It's time to wake up. It's time to wake up. It's time to wake stuff up. And he does. We don't know how many minutes or hours or seconds are between the end of verse 16 and the beginning of verse 1. My guess is it doesn't take long. But he says, I have come to my garden, my sister, my spouse. I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey. I have drunk my wine with my milk. It's like seven uses of the word my. Why is he so happy to talk about this? Because she's his now.

Why did he not take that before earlier? Because it wasn't his yet. Now for the first time, he refers to her as his, because she is his and he is hers. And so now they can enjoy the fruits of the garden. She invited him into her paradise. And he accepted the invitation. And it was a blast being in there. And let me tell you something. It just gets better. Speaking from 22 years of practice and perfection and learning to play the violin and learning the north wind and the south wind can both be friends, let me tell you something. The beauty of this is the way it ages if you continue to honor God with it. In C.S. Lewis, we find an incredible example of someone married late in life. He was 58 years old. He got saved after what seems to be a time of some carousing. And then after the fact, there came about, he described his previous Christ life as a time of bedlam and lusts in his life. But then after a long period of being a bachelor, he found the love of his life at age 58. And she was 41. And even though they were only married four years before she died, listen to how he described the lovemaking act as time went on. We feasted on love, every mode of it,

Solomon, Mary, romantic and realistic, sometimes as dramatic as a thunderstorm, other times as comfortable, as unemphatic as putting on your soft slippers. He continues, no cranny of heart or body remained unsatisfied. C.S. Lewis. She was my pupil, my teacher, my subject, my sovereign, my trusty comrade, friend, shipmate, fellow soldier, my mistress, but at the same time, all that any man friend has ever been to me. And listen to me, every bit of that, exploring of every nook and cranny, thunderstorms and slippers, is all, third point, glorifying to God. I know it's weird to hear a pastor on a stage reading this from the Holy Bible, but it shouldn't be. Because believe it or not, this is an act of worship. And we know that straight from the source. Because the next verse, verse 1, continues this way. Eat, oh friends. Drink, yes, drink deeply, oh beloved ones. Do you know what's weird about this verse? Who's talking? They're in the honeymoon suite at the Sheraton. What's going on here? Who's now breaking the fourth wall and speaking to this happy couple? Hint, he's always there. His name is God. He speaks as his statement.

And this is the exact dead center. Before this verse, there's 111 lines in the Song of Solomon. After this verse, there's 111 lines in the Song of Solomon. This is the dead center. And it's God saying, didn't I do a good job inventing this? Didn't you do a good job honoring how I want this to be enjoyed? And now I'm pleased. I'm receiving glory. You're receiving joy as you take and as you eat, as you drink, as you feast. The point is God wants you to have amazing sex. I know for many of us, it's hard to hear all this because it can be, I felt it for 18 years preaching the Song of Solomon, a sense of I wish I had heard this sooner. I wish I had heard this sooner. I wish I had known. Or maybe not even because something you did, but what was taken from you that can bring such a complicated emotion when it comes to sexuality. Let me say two things. Let me say, first of all, that sex is just a signpost. Us holding up God's standard and ideal version of sex is just a signpost to point us to our true need for Him, first of all. That's what Ephesians 5 says. The mystery, right? A man leaves his father and mother, this is Ephesians chapter 5, leaves his father and mother to become one flesh.

That's just a mystery, Paul says, pointing us to what? What, what, what, what? Christ and the Church. Christ and the Church. It's meant to leave us looking, no sex as good as it can be in marriage is ever going to fully satisfy you. Everything on this earth, every appetite on this earth is actually to point us to Him, to our true need for Him. But that also works backwards. You will never experience all that God has for you when it comes to sex and marriage and relationships if your heart's not right with Him. Because sex can be a lot of things, but it can never become an act of worship to God if you don't have a relationship with God. So the starting point would be to give your heart to Him. We'll give you a chance to do that in just a moment. But let me also say, for those of you who are heart sick because you've done previous things that are not this, and you're going, well, how could I ever? What would be the point even for me? I'm damaged goods and all the rest. Let me just tell you, every single one of those things is a lie. None of us perfectly stack up, no matter what. Not Jenny, not anybody who waited or didn't wait. All of us fall short of the glory of God. And when we hold up God's idealized version, it leads to guilt and to shame.

Why? So that we will look to Jesus, who bore our guilt and who bore our shame. And even to look at a woman with lust or look at a man with lust is adultery in the heart. So all of us are spiritual adulterers. The only question is, to what degree? And with all of our marriages, we need the blood of Jesus Christ to cover us and to wash us and to reset and to take the images and to take the culture and to take the lies and to banish them to the pit of hell where they belong. So we, as an act of worship, as a response to a good God, can seek to, each new day, turn a page and watch God do what He does best, restore the years that sin has eaten. He doesn't just create. He can recreate. He can do it here. He can bring something new to your marriage bed. He can do something new to your married life. He can do something brand new to your heart, teenager. He can do something brand new as you approach dating. But it has to begin with you saying, I invite that into my life. As Jesus hung on the cross, I closed. He said, today, to the thief on the cross, you will be with me in paradise. Only time He ever used that word. He wants your married life to, yes, be paradise.

But He wants your eternal life to be paradise more. So that's where we ask God to work in our hearts. As we pray, all of us thinking, first of all, do I want God's plan for my sex life? Do I want the amazing plan God has for my sex life? If that's you I'm describing, could I ask that you would stand to your feet? No matter what stage of life you're in, you would say, I want to honor God as worship with how I approach sexuality. If that's you I'm describing, just stand up to your feet. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for this uprising of honor. No matter what's behind us, we pursue you with a full heart, covered in your blood with what's in front of us. And as we think about where we're at with you, whether we have a relationship with you, I invite those who today, if you were to die, you would not go to paradise because religion can't save you and good works can't save you. Only Jesus hung on that cross and his resurrection can save you. If you're here and you are under the condemnation that comes from not being covered in Jesus, I invite you, I plead with you, give your heart to God. I'm going to. Say a prayer if you're ready to surrender. Say this prayer with me. Church, say it with us, all of us praying.

Say this out loud to God. He'll hear you. Dear God, I know that I'm a sinner, and I can't fix myself. But I know you can because of the cross. So come into my heart. Make it your home. Cleanse me. Help me to walk with you. In Jesus' name.