Save the Date I Robert Madu I Social Dallas

You like who you're worshiping next to? If you don't, change your seat. Change your seat if you don't. Hey, I wanna welcome our Social Global family that's watching right now from around the world. Social Global, we love you. All of our brothers and sisters watching this on the Pando app. We're praying the same presence of God that is in this space is meeting you right now. It's gonna be a good day. God's gonna do something awesome. I feel it already. You look good. You look like you got confident trust in the Lord. Do you trust Him? Come on, if you're new to social, that's actually our word for 2026, that we would have confident trust, not ratchet trust, not shaky trust. Confident trust in the Lord. And since trust is our word, we went to the word of God. Hebrews chapter 10, verses 35 through 37. Y'all, we read this every single Sunday, but come on, let's read it with uplifted voices. Y'all ready? So, do not throw away. Remember, patient endurance. Then you will receive. For in just a little while,

the coming one will come and not delay. Do you believe it? Sounds good to me. And for today, you can sit down. Chillax, chillax, chillax. Look at the person next to you and say, I'm glad you're here. Yeah, now look at your second option. Say, I'm glad you're here too. If you ever heard me preach before, you know that typically, after we read our verse of the year, I'll share the scripture that I'm actually teaching from. But I chose not to do that today because I wanna do something a little bit different. If you've been here in the last three weeks, you know that we are in the middle of a series on relationships called Easy to Fall. How many have been loving this series on relationships? Yeah. Easy to Fall. We opened up this series right out the gate saying, hey, it is easy to fall. Easy to fall in love. So easy to fall in love. How many know all you need to fall in love is a pulse? It's easy to fall in love. It's much harder to stay in love. It's much harder to build a healthy relationship

when we live in a broken world. And so we began this series understanding it's easy to fall in love. And because we are fallen, it's easy to fall in other things too. Yeah, we're fallen. You know, we all come from a dysfunctional family. Yeah, it's called the Adams family. Yeah, Adam and Eve jacked all of us up. Yeah, that's why you creepy and you spooky. And you all together kooky. The Adams family. Because when sin entered the world, so did shame. So did hiding. So did blaming. And so we opened up the series saying, hey, it is easy to fall, but God can redeem anything. But then the second week of the series, we preached the message that I believe marked our house. And that message was entitled, The Man We Need. All the men of God, make some noise. Real quick. Where are my dogs at? Yeah. And I issued a clarion call to all the mighty men of God. And I told you, we need you. We need you. Anytime men flourish, that society and that culture will flourish. It starts with us as men.

I'll let you know, there's a difference between a male and a man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Males are born, men are formed in the presence of God. So we need a man who is governed and guided by God's word. We need a man who has found his work. Amen. God did not create you to just sit on your blessed assurance, wake up at the crack of noon and play NBA 2K all day and call a duty. No, you actually have a call. You actually have a duty. Find your work. And then we said, the man we need is a man, watch this, who honors not just the woman you want, honors all women. Man, we need you. We need you. We need you. And then last Sunday, my wife, the mother of all my kids and the mother of this house, with Ellie. and beauty and poise and grace preached a message called the woman we need. Yes, women we need you. We need you. We need a woman who will make God her God. Ruth shows us that we need a woman who will do the hard thing and sometimes the hard thing is leaving what is familiar and stepping out into the unknown. We need a woman who is submitted but will not be silenced and we need a woman that will hold the lie because your legacy is depending on it. And now for today. Today I'm gonna preach on something that I have never preached on before on a Sunday morning. Pray for your boy because I'm about to jump into some waters. I'm about to jump into some murky shark infested sometimes shallow waters today because today I want to preach about dating. Yeah buckle up buttercup we going

there. I want to preach about dating and right there you see what just happened I just revealed the demographics of this church okay I just revealed it because some of y'all I mean as soon as I said it you checked in and you locked in you're like come on PR guess what I've been waiting for talk about dating help them out we need this right here I got my notepad I'm ready to take notes some of y'all are locked in and you're ready I want to talk to you today and some of y'all as soon as I said I'm talking about dating married people you just checked out no I saw you you just checked out you're like for real Regina this is why we came to church today we should have gone to brunch I don't want to hear about dating I'm married okay when you get married you don't date your spouse anymore you stop dating when you get married nobody got time for a date I'm trying to survive I'm trying to raise these kids and if that's what you said Houston we have a problem just because you're unmarried doesn't mean you stop dating your spouse come on you should always be dating them you should always be romancing them you should always be pursuing them and surprising them and studying them come on married people keep on dating you gonna get something out of this message today and by the way while we on topic married people do you know how many times single people have had to sit in church services listening to sermons about marriage I think you'll be alright sitting in a service listening about dating dating dating if you are single in the house today or watching a lot and you're single hear me and satisfied with being single which is okay not scarred not scurred but you're actually satisfied with being single you're gonna get something out of this today too because now you are gonna be able to help your friends that you know you have that keep making dumb dating decisions messing up the whole dinner just emotionally dumping on you I got you now you got a message that you can say remember PR talked about this remember he had the blue thang on he talked about this that's gonna help you today too and I'm really hoping that today reaches this person and you're in here today too where yeah you you're in a season of life where you not really dating to go somewhere dating is is really just a

system that you stay in in fact you don't even like the term dating because you have situations ships and you have companions and you have friends and your philosophy is I use them and then I lose them and on to the next one and I'm gonna settle down one day but not today right now turn up I'm living my life I want to talk I want to talk to you because I know you can't see it now but but but later when you realize that you are currently writing the story of your life and down the road when you maybe want to settle down and you look back at the carnage and the damage and the heartbreak watch this that you caused and the hurt that you brought to yourself and you start feeling the weight and the shame and the pain of that I'm praying that this message today would prick your heart and that you would live relationships the way that they were designed to be lived and understand that you are an image bearer of God I want to talk to you today because if you desire healthy, whole, God-honoring relationships, hear me, that can lead to a God-honoring marriage, lean in, your boy has something for you today. To be completely honest, one of the reasons I felt so burdened to preach this message is because as a pastor, you get a unique vantage point. You really do get to see the beauty and the brokenness of human relationships. So much so that I wish I was like a DJ instead. Because you know, at least a DJ, the last image of your mind at the wedding is the couple dancing and having a good time. But when you sit as a pastor, you get to see when vows are exchanged and you get to see the pain of when those vows are violated. You get to see the heartache, the heartbreak, the tears.

You get to see after the betrayal. And after a while, you start realizing how much pain could have been avoided if people had just slowed down long enough to discern while dating. I've watched people ignore warning signs because they were lonely. I've watched people ignore character because there was chemistry. I've watched people look past patterns because there was attraction. And then months, sometimes years later, they are living with heartbreak that they never thought they would experience. And hear me, as a pastor that can think of names and faces and stories, hear me today, that hurts. I also come before you today, not just as a pastor, but as a parent, a parent that realizes I am pastoring the generation that my children are going to be dating and marrying. So I come to you today to say, this is a big deal. This matters. The single most important decision you will ever make after deciding to follow Jesus is who you are going to spend the rest of your life with. This is critical. This is a big deal. There's an old saying, I'm sure you've heard it. It says, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.

I disagree, I disagree. Because how many know, when you are dating, how many know you are choosing your family? You're choosing your potential family. You are choosing who will shape your children. You are choosing who your kids will call mom or dad. You are choosing whose voice your children will hear every day. You are choosing whose values will fill your home. You are choosing whose habits, wounds, and wisdom are gonna collide with yours. You are choosing who you're gonna build a life with. You are choosing who's gonna hold your hand in a hospital. You're choosing who's gonna sit with you in grief. You are choosing who's gonna walk with you in disappointment. You're choosing who's gonna pray with you when you feel like your life is falling apart. You are choosing who's gonna celebrate with you when you're on the mountaintop and who's gonna cry with you when you're in the valley. Hear me today, this is so much deeper than attraction. Ah, this is deeper than you just finding somebody that is cute. Now hear me today, I think you oughta have attraction. Hallelujah, don't get it twisted. I am attracted to Taylor Maddow. I look at that girl and I say, you are fine to me. Still, girl, coming up on 14 years of marriage, I'm still attracted to this woman.

She is fine to me. But how many know, fine will not help you when hell is coming against your home. Cute will not help you when the enemy is attacking you. How many know the devil is not afraid of abs? The devil ain't afraid of biceps. Demons don't tremble because you got a BBL. You cannot twerk away spiritual warfare. How many know, when hell is coming against your house, you need somebody that knows how to pray. You need somebody that knows how to call on the name of the Lord and doesn't know how to just call on them when they're going through trouble, but has a relationship with God and says, as for me and my house, we gonna serve the Lord. Do you have somebody that can do that? Ooh, I do. When you date, you are not just choosing a person, you are choosing a future. This is a big deal. It's a big deal. And because it's a big deal, hear me, social fam, we gotta go to the Word of God. So this gonna bless you today. Okay, we're gonna go straight to the Word of God because right out the onset today, I want you to get your phones, get your notes out. I want to put on the screen, I want you to see all the scriptures

that we have on what it is to date biblically. Okay, I want you to get these scriptures down. I want you to memorize these scriptures. I'm gonna give you the scriptures on dating biblically. Can we put that on the screen? Scriptures on dating. Y'all ready? Make sure you get this down. Make sure you get a picture of it. Let's put them up. Here they are. Did you get it? That's all we got. There are no scriptures in your Bible. Let me just help you today. There are no scriptures on biblical dating. This is the challenge that I have in talking about dating in the church. The Bible, I don't care what somebody told you, does not address modern dating. As a matter of fact, dating as we know it, believe it or not, is relatively new in human history. For most of history, relationships were built through family involvement, through community discernment, and marriage arrangements. There ain't no biblical dating. You know what biblical dating looked like in your Bible? It looked like this. One family had a girl, and another family had a boy, and the parents got together,

and while they were playing in the sandbox, said, you know what? They gonna be together. You didn't even have a choice in it. And watch the philosophy behind it. They believed that marriage and coming together with somebody else was of such a high value, was such a critical decision, that they could not leave that to your dumb, crazy self that's just gonna catch some feelings. They understand, no, we gotta do this in community because we know better than you, because you can catch feelings like you catch a cold. So before you jack something up, we're gonna decide for you. But obviously, our culture has changed today. In fact, the idea of casual dating for romance and compatibility really started emerging in the late 1800s and early 1900s. So no, the Bible does not tell you how to swipe. It does not tell you how long to wait before texting them back. It does not tell you when to define the relationship. But hear me, while the Bible might not directly address dating, it does give us unbelievable wisdom on relationships, on discernment, on evaluation, on character, on purity, on marriage. The Bible might not give us verses on dating, but it does give us wisdom for discernment.

Wisdom for discernment. If dating is ultimately about discernment, then the question becomes, what should you be looking for? What should you, while you're dating, be looking for? Do you even know? What should you be looking for? Well, pastor, I'll know it when I see it. How is that working for you? Tell the truth and shame the devil. Oh, pastor, I'll know it when I feel it. When you feel it. How is that working for you? How do you know what you should be looking for? It's like this, have you ever gone grocery shopping while you were hungry? After your check hit? Have you ever? You ever been in Target without a Target? Without a list, and all of a sudden you come out of there, because you shopped without a list, and all of a sudden you got a Xbox, you got a dresser, you got a whole new wardrobe. You're like, did you know they made Snickers covered Funyuns? I didn't know they came out with that. Because you didn't have a Target, you didn't have a list, and you get home, you're like, why in the world is all this in my cart? That's how some of y'all's dating looks like.

How in the world did I get this? Because you went dating while you're hungry. You didn't have a list. Wouldn't it be awesome, wouldn't it be awesome if you could get a list? Come on, a foolproof list of what you should actually be looking for in the dating process. Wouldn't you love a list? Oh, I'm glad you came to church today. I'm gonna give you a list. I'm gonna give you a list today, and watch this, this list is hidden in 1 Timothy. It's hidden in Timothy. Now, understand, before we go into this, let me give you the background before the breakdown. The book of Timothy, 1 Timothy and 2 Timothy, is not written to us about dating. It's not, because you will not find scriptures on dating. It's written by the apostle Paul to his spiritual son, Timothy. Timothy is a pastor in Ephesus. He is a young man with huge responsibility, and watch this, Timothy is, Paul is writing to him to give him instruction and wisdom and direction. Here's what I love when you do the DNA sample of my boy, Timothy. You'll find in the scripture, his father is not mentioned. Most scholars believe that his father either did not adhere to his Jewish faith and his belief, and was a Greek,

or his father was just not in his life. That's why Paul says. Know there's a faith that was in you that first started in your grandmother Lewis and your mother Eunice So so he doesn't have a father present. It's what people believe but yet he found a spiritual father in The Apostle Paul. Do you see the beauty of godly community and being in church? Do you see the power of what God can do if you just hook up with somebody that is further along than you? Somebody that you actually see fruit of their life and you want to be like them I'm telling you this is the power of the church You ought to get around some couples, but you're like y'all got a marriage that looks like y'all still love each other That's why I don't want to talk to a podcaster That's single and it's trying to give me relationship advice if it ain't working for you How you gonna help me come on if I look better than my trainer I got to get a new trainer But look at what he's doing He's gleaning to spiritual community and I say that to give you hope for the church Connect to somebody because Timothy got connected to Paul and he filled in the gap what I'm saying PR. There's no excuse So he writes to his spiritual son Timothy and let's break down what he says first Timothy chapter 4 verse 12 Paul begins this way Don't let Anyone look down on you Because you are what? You are what? Fam I was this week old When I found out that at this time Timothy is not a teenager He is most likely in his late 30s or possibly his early 40s And Paul said don't let anybody look down on you because you are young since when is late 30s and Early 40s young holla at your boy. I'm still young. I'm still young since when is that young? Well in that time period in that culture that was considered young So notice what the Apostle Paul is doing

He says don't let anybody look down on you because the culture at that time said that was young I want you to live your life different. Don't let them shame you because you're young by their definition Stay with me I'm trying to help some of y'all who have been pressured into Relationships because somebody started looking down on you time by shouldn't you have a family by now? Shouldn't you be married by now away with this ideology that if you 29 and you ain't found the one yet Something is off that if you 35 and you don't got a husband and three kids and a golden doodle that you are somehow behind Stop letting the culture put pressure on you when God is still forming you Don't let people look down on you I'm still being formed Some people frustrated in their marriage and that's why they want to talk about you Shouldn't you have somebody by now? Shouldn't you be happy by now? Cut that cut that cut But But notice what he says he says Don't let them look down on you because you are young In other words, don't let the opinions and expectations and timelines of other people Make you feel less than while God is still forming you Who I want to shout somebody out my sister. I don't call her sister-in-law my sister in love Just got married pastor Taylor's older sister 42 years old Got married and I had the privilege of just watching her in her season of singleness and stewarded, right? writing books bought her own house Didn't settle and I watched her at 42 years old walked down the aisle to an incredible man Because she refused to settle I Don't do this in the other service, but maybe some single person needs this declaration. You ought to say this Waiting is not losing Singleness is not punishment Settling it's not God's will

Yeah Waiting it's not losing Singleness is not punishment Paul actually calls it a gift Settling it's not God's will Paul goes on he says, uh, I Don't want anybody to look down on you because you're young but here's what I want you to do. I want you to set an example for the believers Huh? Set an example in other words Timothy don't focus on proving yourself focus on becoming someone worth following This matters and dating because Most of the time when we're dating, we're obsessed with this question. Here's the question. Are they the one? Are they the one? Ooh, she worshiped and she looked my way. Is she the one? Ooh, is he the one? Ooh, girl, he wearing blue. He don't ever wear blue and I'm wearing blue today. You don't think that's a sign? You know how you start doing. Are they the one? Are they the one? That's the question we ask. Are they the one? And we ignore the deeper and more important question. Am I becoming someone healthy enough

to be the one? Everybody has a list for who they want. Very few people have a plan for who they're becoming. So here's the question. Are you becoming the person you're looking for? This is a principle of dating that you have to get in your mind. Are you actually becoming the person that you are looking for? I need somebody emotionally stable. Are you? Are you? I know one thing. He better have a job and it better be six figures at least. I'm telling you, I got a lot of, I got high taste. He better have a job. Do you? Do you have a job? I need me a girl that's in church. Sir. Are you? I never get this one day with this one guy and I was talking to him and he was just going on, he's like, yeah man, I just been in some messed up relationship, man. Man, these girls in the club, man, they just, they ain't about nothing. I need me like a church girl and I need to have this credit score. He started going on this list

and the whole time he's making this list, I'm like, bro, that girl is not looking for you. She is not looking for you. The critical question you gotta ask is are you becoming the person that you're looking for? Everybody wants someone disciplined. Everybody wants somebody that can pray. Everybody wants somebody mature. Everybody wants somebody emotionally healthy. Everybody wants somebody financially stable. Everybody wants someone attractive. Okay, are you becoming that? You know what I feel like today's message is doing? I feel like today's message is saving some dates. Oh, let's go save some dates today. In fact, that's my title. I waited for this moment to tell you. Save, save the date. Look at your neighbor and say, save the date. Save the date, save the date. You know, I brought pictures because some of y'all offended. Here's our picture of our save the date, me and PT. That was our save the date. Aw. That was our save the date we sent out before we got married looking like a J. Crew ad right there. Save the date, August 24th, 2012. Save the date because if you are dating, please don't miss this.

If you are dating, you need two instruments. You need two devices, okay? I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna give you a visual to help some of y'all that are visual learners. Here's the first instrument you need if you're dating. You need a mirror. This is the first device of dating. The mirror speaks to who am I becoming? Am I healthy? Am I whole? Have I dealt with my trauma? Who am I becoming? You need a mirror. It starts with you. Get you a mirror. If I had time, I'll tell you how my boy James said that the word of God is actually a mirror. It'll help you see you. You need a mirror. If you're dating, get you a mirror and start with you. Am I becoming who I'm looking for? But you need another device because you're dating. And this is what you need. I've never used this in a sermon before, but I love it. And somebody had it. You need one of these. You know what this is? This is a jeweler's loop. They look at it when they're inspecting diamonds.

Jewelers carefully and slowly investigate so that they can attribute the right value. On every date, bring you, bring you a loop because you need to investigate value. So while you're having coffee, just investigate. Investigate. What you looking for? Inconsistencies. Cracks and flaws. You need one of these. Now let's be clear. Sometimes you don't even need one of these because it's clear without. Oh God, help me today. This is for careful investigation because some things sparkle and you really need to look close and say, oh, wait a minute. That ain't real. That's a lab grown diamond. that that but something you don't even need this for like for instance you don't need you don't need the jeweler's loop for a ring pop you can tell this is a ring pop you you should be able to tell when somebody is just trying to play games this is for kids you can tell I don't need the loop for this it is obvious you just want to play and discard when done so I'll need it for that but I do need it because some things especially in these Dayton streets with what some of these doctors are doing with with with with these profiles that project this curated fake image you better slow down and carefully investigate and watch so watch watch this y'all making me go longer now I'm supposed to watch this so so Paul he

gives Timothy I love this five categories not of chemistry but of character five categories of what to check first in you and then what to check and the person that you're dating he says set an example for the believers here it is in speech and conduct and love and faith and in purity in speech and conduct and love and faith and in purity those are the five categories that you should be inspecting let's look at each one quickly let's start with speech what am I looking for on the day speech number one watch their words all while you at Cheesecake Factory you ought to be watching when you're dating their words why because words reveal heart words reveal heart why I'm always saying get in the Word of God because if you want to know God's heart look at his word look at what Jesus said in Luke 6 verse 45 a good man out of the treasure of his heart brings forth good and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks you cannot disconnect your mouth from your heart so in the dating stage what is your job to do listen watch those words I love it I think it's not by accident we use this phrase in the dating scene oh you know so-and-so they're talking that's what you should be doing talking and while they're talking you should be listening because relationships begin with conversation now let me help some of y'all to stop being weird church people in the early stages keep it light some of y'all in the name of like spirituality on the first day oh what's your plan for five years and how many kids you want to have that's not a first date conversation keep it light but as you're having conversation what are you doing I'm watching your words I'm getting to know you keep the conversation going words reveal heart listen to how they talk about people listen to how they talk when they're angry listen to how they talk when they don't get their way listen to how they talk about authority listen how they talk about their family their ex-sis their church their friends do they talk about Jesus and his house you do know this is so simple people naturally talk about what they love if it's two dates and he said nothing about church nothing about his relationship with God he is letting you know his

value if she ain't said nothing about her relationship with God as you're talking she is letting you know what her values are do they gossip are they constantly harsh cynical and dishonoring are they negative manipulative watch their words where my fellas at I lost I lost some of y'all it was loud early in the message it's all right fellas can I just say this is my opinion take it if you want do you but talking and hearing so many ladies who get confused at the mixed signals I think the onus and responsibility is on you to lead with clarity and just say it, bro, just say it. Are you trying to chill? Are you trying to hang? Don't direct message you up. This is not conversation. I would like to take you on a coffee date and give yourself an out, but if you're busy, no problem. Don't let it just reject you like that. Just put that in there. If you're busy, it's cool, but I'd like to take you on a coffee date. That's clarity. That's clarity. That's leadership. You go on the date, you're not feeling it, then we should do this again sometime. If you don't mean that, don't say that. I'll call you. I'm trying to be as practical as I can be today. Watch their words. One of the things I love about my bride is her words. She's the greatest encourager. I call her my CEO, my chief encouragement officer, because the weight of this thing. I'm so glad that I have a spouse that builds me up with her words. Can you imagine what kind of pastor I would be without it? Can you imagine if I was like, man, that sermon was horrible. I feel like I'm a terrible leader. Oh yeah, you are. And the sermon was bad. It was too long. It was too long. Can you imagine how I would come preach to you? Thank God I have somebody that builds me up. Married people, I wonder who your spouse would be if you would change your words. I wonder what kind of confidence your wife would have, sir, if you changed your words. Wonder what kind of man you would have if you would change your words. No man responds to you reminding him of his Clark Kent-ness. We know we Clark Kent, but mess around and say, you Superman. I bet he found a phone booth and start changing. Got you girl. Watch your words. I wish we could stop at words. Wouldn't that be enough? But Paul knew it wasn't enough because he says conduct. In other words,

watch their patterns, watch their patterns, their conduct. The apostle Paul and his wisdom knew that some people can get fooled by words. So don't just watch words. Watch patterns. Watch how they live because some people are smooth talkers. Some people know how to talk church lingo. I love that everybody's talking about their mental health. It's mental health awareness month. I love it. I think one of the problems that we've added to everybody's awareness of mental health is everybody's throwing around these clinical terms and just using the words. My ex was a narcissist. Was it? Spell narcissist. But we throw all these words out, but conduct matters, not just words you throw out. One of the biggest mistakes people make in dating is they fall in love with potential while ignoring patterns. Well, I know they lie now, but they're going to change. I know they're inconsistent now, but they're going through a rough season. They're going to change. I know she's manipulative now, but she's going to change. Don't date potential while ignoring patterns because patterns tell the truth. Past behavior is often the clearest indicator of future behavior. Did you hear what I just said? Past behavior is often the clearest indicator of future behavior. I say often because the reality is God can change people. Oh my goodness. Thank God for his grace that can change people. However, transformation is proven through new patterns, not just emotional promises. The apostle Paul says in Romans 12 verse two, don't conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, his good, pleasing, and perfect will. Even the apostle Paul is acknowledging the power of patterns, that you can only be transformed by the renewing of your mind, but this world has patterns and patterns shape lives. So watch, look at your neighbor and say watch. Watch their consistency. Watch their Discipline Watch how they steward money I Had a pastor mentor mentor of mine. He's got a great marriage and he's in the dating season He called the church his bride-to-be went to and asked does she consistently tithe and give I? Said you called the church and asked that he said absolutely if she'll rob God she'll rob me. I want to know I Said hey, that's a good phone call. I started call My wife's a giver she's a giver. She's a gift. I'm a giver to

Watch do they keep their word? Watch how they treat responsibility Watch if they apologize Watch if they take ownership What are you saying? I'm saying you got to watch this in the dating season because marriage is not magic We think it is because the wedding is magical. We think it's magic and some change because you put on the tux It's not marriage magnifies people It's almost a walking down the aisle thinking. Oh, I'll change him Especially ladies. I love y'all, but it do Man we think she'll never change ladies alike. I'll change him Number three love watch how they treat people He says set an example with your love the Apostle Paul is strategic here and what he uses in The word love that is the Greek word agape Not arrows not erotic. This is not shallow. Love. This is not infatuation. This is not chemistry of butterflies Agape hear me is sacrificial love It's mature love It's selfless love Hear me Biblical love is not just emotion It's behavior. What are you looking for? Do they have a love that serves How can I serve and not just how they'll serve you Watch how they treat people that can do nothing for them How do they say do they have a house or is everything? How does this serve me? Watch watch Watch Look your neighbor say watch Tell him watch Watch how they treat people in first Corinthians 13 When Paul begins to list about love

Not one of them is a feeling love is patient. Love is kind Love does not envy it does not boast real love is about service Real love considers other people Number four Faith worship team join me Watch how they trust God Not do they say they're a Christian anybody can say that Not do they have Bible verses in their bio? Which while we're on topic y'all These Bible verses in the bio with the thirst trap pictures, it's just like Male and female we got it. We got a pick one. We got pick one pick one What is the direction of their life moving in Some of you are dating somebody that you know is not a believer and You think they're gonna change you think you're gonna change them. I'm telling y'all are going in opposite directions It will not work. I've watched it happen over and over and over again Do they trust God and watch this trust is often proven in the tension of life Watch when they're going through something when they're going through suffering. What do they do? Do they run to God? Where are they headed you can't build a future with somebody that's moving in a completely different spiritual direction than you It's what Paul says to the church in Corinth 2nd Corinthians chapter 6. He says do not be yoked together with unbelievers For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common or what fellowship can light have with darkness a yoke was a wooden plank It's a wooden plank. It's a wooden plank. It's a wooden plank Or what fellowship can light have with darkness a yoke was a wooden beam They would put on two animals watch this that were headed the same direction Do they value what you value Do they love Jesus and his church? Is that where they're headed? I'll take it deeper even with life purpose. Are y'all gonna be a fit for life mission together? This is something to consider and discern in the dating process

I've told you many times before I knew I was called to do this at 16 years old. God gave me the grace of knowing this was my thing. So in the dating season, I'm looking, knowing is this person gonna wanna give their life to building the house of God and serving the church? In fact, I wanna show you a picture because I got receipts. Look at this picture. See that picture? That's me preaching at my old church that I was at from three years old to the point that they launched us out to Plant Social Dallas. That's your boy preaching at a youth camp. No, not a youth camp, at a youth service at our church. Now, I'm zooming in on purpose, not so you can see my Express shirt and my fake Gucci belt because the season of life I was in. This was a real service preaching to young people. Wasn't getting no check for it, called to it. And I remember this service in particular because I had just gone through a breakup with somebody who was on the stage, who's singing worship while I'm preaching. Let's see if we can zoom out and see who she is. That's Pastor Taylor with her Clarissa Explains It All hat on right there.

Y'all, that was a breakup. But watch this, same purpose, same mission. You know why that says pour out your spirit on our sons and daughters? Because that's what our church kept saying over the next generation, that God would pour out his spirit on the next generation. And there we are just volunteering, even in a breakup, but we were still on mission. We still knew this is what we're gonna do for the rest of our life. And who knew then that what we were doing, volunteering, that God was birthing something and we'd end up getting married and a church was gonna be planted in Dallas called Social Dallas. I'm so glad we got connected on the same mission. I didn't know this was on the other side of it. Are y'all on mission? Or are you unequally yoked? Hear me today, watch. Watch how they trust God. Lastly, purity. He said, set an example in purity. In other words, here it is, watch their boundaries. When Paul uses the word purity here, he's not talking about just sexuality and sex, although that's a part of it. He's talking about integrity, moral cleanliness, being uncontaminated.

In other words, purity is not just about sex, it is about stewardship of your life. Ask yourself, this is what you gotta watch. What are they allowing into their life? What are they consuming? What are they normalizing? What boundaries do they have? What do they consider entertainment? I wish I would be in the dating season and some girl would say, yeah, I wanna go hear an artist sing and do sexual things on a stage and have cherries and stuff. Will you buy me tickets? I wish. What? Is that what she's drawn to? People will let you know their boundaries in dating. Watch what they normalize because eventually what you normalize becomes what you tolerate and what you tolerate eventually shapes your life. And yes, purity includes sexuality. Come on, people who aren't even Christians are saying this, sex is not just physical, it is spiritual, it is a covenant, it is sacred. Culture treats it casually, but God says, no, this is holy. I created it. I'm not trying to limit your fun.

I created the context that it should be in and that is in marriage and covenant. And hear me, if somebody is willing to consistently step outside of God's boundaries in order to fulfill their desires, they are telling you something. They are revealing in dating how they view obedience. They're revealing in dating how they view covenant. They're revealing how they handle boundaries because if they're willing to ignore God's boundaries to satisfy themselves while dating, why would you assume that marriage is gonna change that? They're letting you know right now, I don't respect the context of marriage. I'll go outside of it to fulfill my sexual desire. This is why I'm always confused of people that get hooked up in an affair and you think it's gonna work. An affair was the basis of your relationship. You have to have boundaries. Boundaries matter because physical intimacy affects discernment. Some of us have gone so far that now we're connected so physically I can't even I can't discern I can't discern if this is healthy or not because we've already crossed boundaries and I tell myself a story what well it's good when it's good what oh maybe if we get married it'll fix it it will not fix it maybe if we move in together that will not fix it we keep trying to go outside the boundaries God has created and we think we're gonna flourish Paul says in first Corinthians chapter 6 verse 18 flee from sexual immorality all other sins a person commits are outside

of the body look at what Paul is saying this one is different this one is different than anything else why because God is not going to change how you are wired this one is different but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you who you have received from God you are not your own you were bought at a price therefore honor God with your bodies God says your body is not yours flea Robin McDoo translation run from sexual immorality flee run in it interesting that James says resist the devil resist the devil and he will what flee but he says yo when it comes to this thing called sexual immorality this ain't something you try to pray through Oh Lord we together on the couch just pray that no no no no no he says you gotta run you gotta flee because I designed you to do it you gotta run God knows the power of sexual temptation that's what made Joseph when Potiphar's wife kept coming at him what did he do he didn't say well let me just speak in tongues no he ran you gotta flee from it let me tell you what fleeing looks like something at times the most spiritual thing you can do is leave the room block the number delete the app cancel the subscription unfollow the account stop replying to the DM stop hanging out alone at midnight stop putting yourself in situations you already know will weaken your convictions change gyms switch jobs take a different route home get accountability hand somebody your passwords put the phone in another room sleep with the door open move out create the boundary I'm not judging you I'm telling you that God created this to function in a certain context you gotta flee how many walk of shames do you want how many times you're gonna keep convincing yourself that yeah no it was just casual it didn't it didn't mean anything but your soul is telling you something different this is from a God who says I love you so much I created you to flourish in a certain context and I want you to honor honor the boundary I love something pastor Craig Rochelle says he says why would I resist the temptation in the future that I have the power to eliminate today did you hear what I just said why would I resist a temptation in the future that I got

the power to eliminate today it's why I don't travel alone it's why I have my location on everywhere I go that's why we have each other's passwords and access why because we're gonna fall out of love and do something no because watch this purity is not just about what you don't do it's about what you protect and our covenant is worth protecting this is not a message of condemnation this is a message of clarity and wisdom and maybe you say hey PR I have I've crossed the boundary and I've I've messed up please don't let the enemy make you think that it is too late that's the other thing I've watched God redeem stories after story after story after so I'm a living breathing testimony the Apostle Paul gives us five categories not of chemistry of character speech watch their words conduct watch their patterns love watch how they treat people Faith. Watch how they trust God. Purity. Watch their boundaries. On the day, that's what you're looking for. That's what you're looking for. But it doesn't start with this. It starts with this. That's why this is for everybody, because watch this. I got to watch my words. I've got to watch my patterns. I've got to watch how I treat people. I've got to watch how I trust God. And I've got to watch my boundaries. What would it look like? What kind of community would we have if we did that right there? Oh, I'm telling you, I'm believing for a revival to happen in relationships after this series. I'm believing some of y'all are gonna cut off toxic relationships that you don't need to be in. I'm believing that some people that have been living together are gonna do it right, and all of a sudden come under covenant, and get married, and watch the blessing and the favor of God. I can't wait for your children to look up and say, oh, I know what to look for, because my mama and my daddy did it right. Oh, they didn't start off right, but one day they made a decision to say, God, I'm yours. I'm gonna change. There is still hope. I'm believing. This will be a community. Relationships flourish, because we're saying, God, I'm starting with the character, not just the chemistry. Would you stand to your feet all over this

place today? Please honor this moment. I'm gonna ask every head be bowed, and eyes be closed, please. I hope you hear the heart of a pastor today that's not trying to shame you, but y'all, something has got to change. Our culture is dying because of the broken relationships, and I wish I could say it was just the world. No, it's right here in the church. Heads bowed, eyes closed. I saw a statistic as I was studying for this message. They said for the first time, teen pregnancy is on a decline, and they started celebrating it and said, oh, this is amazing. It's never been this low, but they realized that the stats were deceiving, because the reason teen pregnancy is lower is because so many young people are being introduced to pornography at such a young age. They're not having premarital sex. They're just looking at screens. As young as seven, eight years old, y'all, society is not giving us a picture of what flourishing relationships should look like. We have an opportunity as the church to say this is how God created it to function. And hear me, it doesn't start with trying harder. It starts with surrender. It starts with being honest about where you are. Heads are bowed, eyes are closed. If you're in here today and you say, I'm starting with me, I'm starting with the mirror, not with the loop, but I know there is one of those areas that God was speaking to you. Maybe it's your words, how you talk to people. Maybe it's your faith. You say you're a believer, but your conduct is so contradictory. Maybe it's your purity, just what you've allowed yourself to take in, what you do in the name of entertainment, and you don't realize it's shaping you. It's not my job to be the Holy Spirit for you. I believe God is speaking to people, but as you're here today, you say, hey, PR, I know what that thing is. And today, I'm surrendering with the help of the Holy Spirit. Today, I'm going to make a change, starting with me before I start looking at it in other people. If that's you and you know what that thing is, would you just lift up your hand as a sign to the Lord to say, Lord, I hear you. I hear you talking to me about this area. Thank you, God.

Thank you, God. I appreciate you lifting your hand. It's powerful. But for some of you... The hard work is going to be after this service. Some things you're gonna have to delete. Some transparency you're gonna have to have with somebody you can trust. Some patterns you're gonna have to address and change and do the work. P.T. said it earlier, she gave the Lord a year in dating. Some of you, your patterns have gotten so off, you don't need to date anybody right now. Because there's still formation that needs to happen before you wreck somebody else's life. Anybody else? Heads still bowed, eyes still closed. If you're here today and you've never taken that first step, would you say, Jesus, my life is yours. That's where it starts. I'd love to give you that opportunity today to say, today I'm giving Jesus my life. Would you lift up your hand high enough and long enough to where I can see it? Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Lord. Hands are going up all over this place today. Thank you, God. Anybody else? Anybody else? Thank you, God. Thank you, Lord. That's where it starts. A relationship with him, the one, watch this, who loved you and didn't wait for you to get yourself together. But while we were sinners, Christ died for us. Anybody else saying, today's the day. I need a new nature. I can't fix myself. I gotta give him my life. Just lift it up. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Hear my heart today. This is not to embarrass you. I just think there's something powerful about leaving where you are and coming to a new place. We often do this. Why? Because I think it's a picture of you saying, the old me, the old ways, the old patterns, that's staying in my seat. But the new me is ready to step into what God has for me and allow the Holy Spirit to do a work in me. So hear me, if you lifted up your hand or you should have lifted up your hand that second time saying, I need to give Jesus my life, or maybe there's just something inside of you that says, I need to respond today. I know God is asking me to change the way I've been functioning. If that's you, when I count to three, I just want you to come as close to this altar. Come right up here when you can. One, come on. Don't worry about what anybody else is going to think. Two, I don't care how far you got to walk. I promise every step is worth it. Three, would you come? Would you come? Come on. Come on. Thank you, Jesus. I'm changing today. I can't keep functioning like this. Come on. Thank you, Jesus. Anybody else? Come on. Come on. Come on. I promise it's worth the walk. I promise it's worth the walk.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. If anybody be in Christ, the old is gone. Behold, all things, all things, all things are made brand new. All things. I promise it's not too late. It's not too late. We serve a God that can redeem. We serve a God that can restore. Thank you, God. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, Jesus. I promise it's worth it. I promise it's worth it. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, Jesus. Anybody else? Anybody else? Please, if you could just honor this moment. We're about to dismiss. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Does it matter? Absolutely, it matters because my body doesn't belong to me, and there's something about your body coming to the front and saying, God, I'm giving you me. I'm giving you all of me. Thank you, God. Hear me. There is no story our God cannot redeem. There is no person that's too far gone. Thank you, Jesus. I've watched him do it. I've watched him do it in my life, he can do it in you. It doesn't start with trying harder, it starts with surrender. Anybody else? Yeah, come on. Come on, come on. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. As people are still coming, can we just lift up our hands today as a sign of surrender? I love this because as I lift up my hands, I'm saying, God, I am yours, all that I am. I present my body as a living sacrifice. Thank you, God. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Lord. I'm going to lead you in this prayer, but I want you to say it from your heart today.

Can we all declare it with those who have responded? Say, Jesus, my hands are lifted because I'm holding nothing back. I'm giving you all of me. I give you my heart, I give you my mind, I give you my soul. Lord, thank you for loving me so much that you paid the price for my sin. You were shamed, so I don't have to live in shame. You were beaten, so I don't have to be abused. Thank you for taking my place, so today I'm giving you everything. Forgive me of my sin. Make me brand new. I want to do relationships the way you designed it, because I am yours, bought with a price, fully loved, and fully known, in Jesus' name, amen, amen, amen, amen, amen, amen.