Marriage Math I Robert Madu I Social Dallas

Are you glad to be in God's house today? You look good you look like you got confident trust in the Lord today Come on. I want to make some noise for our social global family. That's watching from around the world. We love you And if this is your first time here at social or your first time in a long time Would you just give me a wave? I want to see you. I want to see you my people good to see you Come on social y'all could do better than that. I'm so glad y'all are here Well, if you're new here we have a word for this year our word is trust That this is the year. We are going to anchor our trust in the Lord and we don't want shaky trust ratchet trust We want confident trust in the Lord And that word comes from our Scripture of the year that we declare every single Sunday is found in Hebrews chapter 10 verses 35 through 37 We read this every single week with uplifted caffeinated voices. Come on. How many got a memorized already? Can I see your hand? All right, you know almost half the year is gone How many still working on you still working on it? All right. All right, you got time. Come on Let's declare it as a family already So Remember the great reward it brings you Patient endurance is what you need now so that you will continue to do God's will Then you will receive all that he has promised for in just a little while The coming one will come and not delay y'all sound good Sound real good And Remain standing. We're gonna jump into our text for today y'all for the last six weeks for the last six weeks We have been talking about Relationships Relationships we've been in a series called easy to fall for the last six weeks We've said their relationships. They are the currency of life And if you are going to have a healthy life You need healthy relationships and God wants you to have healthy relationships and y'all we have covered so much in this series

Come on, we have talked about dating. We've talked about womanhood. We've talked about manhood. We've talked about all kinds of stuff I want to talk about something else Today, and I want to look at Ephesians chapter 5 Ephesians chapter 5 before we go to it If you are married make some noise in here I'm judging the health of your marriage by the decibel of that screen If you're in here and you desire to be married make some noise We all find out Ephesians chapter 5 starting at verse number 31 the Apostle Paul writes these words for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh This is a profound mystery But I'm talking about Christ and the church however, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife Must respect her husband. Can you say amen? the two will become one two It's gonna become One I want to tag a title to this text today and preach to you from this thought marriage math Marriage not girl math They were 20% off they were basically free Not boy math, yo, I'm gonna pay off this truck in five years, but it's an investment Marriage Marriage math, would you bow your heads with me? It's gonna be a long prayer, but bear with me father speak to us today Amen, you may be seated in the presence of the Lord

Marriage Math Social fam, I knew this day would come This is the final message in our relationship series easy to fall Y'all this is the last one. This is the last one and as they say all Good things must come to end That's funny, you know nobody ever says that You know says that statement on their wedding day, all good things must come to an end. Never on a wedding day have two individuals said, oh, this is amazing, this is so good, we're gonna get married, but you know, all good things must come to an end. Nobody has ever walked down the aisle to meet the one that they love and said, you know what, I think we're gonna have a good seven years. A good seven years together. Nobody says their vows and say, man, I hope we at least make it till the kids graduate. I have done a lot of weddings and attended a lot of weddings and I've never heard any couple say, I promise to cherish you and to hold you and to take care of you until boredom do our part. Nobody says that because the reality is, nobody plans for their marriage to fail. Nobody plans for their marriage to fall apart. The problem is, nobody plans for it not to. Most people fail to plan for their marriage to actually succeed.

And that's what I wanna jump into today. I wanna talk about marriage and how are you planning for it? How are you planning for it? You know what we do plan for? We plan for our wedding. Oh, come on, we plan real good for the wedding. Matter of fact, let's just talk about y'all's proposals. Y'all are on another level. This generation, I guess because it has to be documented on TikTok and on Instagram, but y'all have some amazing, just the proposals, the footage and the drones that you have, just that the proposals, it blows me away. And these weddings, these weddings are absolutely elite. The money that we spend on weddings, everybody plans their wedding. If you want job security, be a wedding planner. Yes, because people will spend a lot of months and a lot of money planning the wedding. I did my research, the average American wedding today costs about $36,000, $36,000. I also did some other research. You know, that's about 200 counseling sessions. I'm just saying, 36 Gs on a wedding. In fact, researchers studying more than 3,000 marriages found a surprising correlation. Couples who spent more on their weddings often had shorter marriages. That blessed somebody that's planning right now. She's like, we don't need to spend all this money on this. Hold on now.

I am in no way, shape or form saying that the more expensive your wedding is, that means you're gonna have a divorce. I'm not saying that at all. Matter of fact, if you wanna have a lavish wedding and you can afford it, do it, do it. I mean, do it all, fly to Fiji, get the fireworks, get the flower wall, have dolphins go up in the air, in the background, do it all. Invite me and PT, I will officiate it for you. I have no problem with lavish weddings. I have no problem with beautiful weddings, nothing against it. What concerns me is when people spend more time planning for a day than they do preparing for a lifetime. I have problems when people put more energy and effort into the event than you put into your covenant because it is possible for you to have a beautiful wedding and a broken marriage. In fact, maybe one of the hardest things for two people to ever attempt to do is to become one. Because getting married and becoming one are not the same thing. Becoming one, hear me, that is the hard part. It is hard for two people to become one. And let me tell you, marriage is harder than you think because the enemy hates it more than you know. It's hard for two to become one, which is why I wanna talk about marriage math. Look at your neighbor say marriage math, marriage math.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, y'all, marriage math is the hardest math in the world. I'm telling you, it is hard to do marriage math. I would rather be afflicted by algebra, confused by calculus, and triggered by trigonometry than to step into the daunting task of doing marriage math and not realizing what it's gonna cost you because marriage math is not easy. You wanna do regular math, that's easy. Come on, let's just put regular math on the screen. In regular math, every math teacher will tell you in regular math that one plus one equals what? Some of y'all a little slow. It equals what? Two, that is easy, that is regular math. But marriage math is different because whenever two people enter covenant, whenever a marriage happens, immediately a different equation enters the earth. And here's the equation. It's not one plus one equals two. Here's the marriage math equation. One plus one equals one. Woo, that is the hard part. That is the equation, that is the mystery, that is the challenge. How in the world do two different people? from different families, different backgrounds, different personalities, different spending habits, different communication styles,

different restaurant preferences, different thermostat settings. I could go there, but I'm not. How, how do those two people become one? How does two become one? You know, most of your pastor's mental space is filled with trying to get you to get it. And I will do anything to illustrate a point. I almost had a big iron two on this stage, an iron two, and say, how in the world can I get an iron two to become a one? You know, you cannot bend an iron two to become one. You know what you gotta get? A blowtorch and a face mask. And it's not until you just blowtorch that thing and make it pliable can you turn a two into a one. I'm trying to tell you the challenge that is before you whenever you get married, it's hard. For two to become one. How do you do this equation one plus one equals one? And so many people would give all kinds of answers. Some people would say, well, it's easy, pastor, compatibility, compatibility. You got to be compatible. Girl, that's why I didn't work with him. Y'all weren't compatible. We gotta have compatibility. And I understand what you're saying, but don't forget the first message in the series. I told you, all of us are hashtag jacked up.

All of us are falling. It's hard to find two sinners that are truly compatible. Why? Because we all come from the Adams family. Yes, that's why you creepy and you spooky and you all together kooky. Because when sin entered the world, it broke us. It messed us up. Even if y'all are compatible right now, keep on living. I bet there's gonna come a time where you will be incompatible. But some people say, no, it's communication. It's communication. That's how you get the equation of one plus one equals one. We gotta communicate more, okay? And okay, there's validity to that. Some people say, no, it's conflict resolution. We don't fight right, okay? You gotta stop throwing stuff. You gotta stop being a storm trooper and just storming out. Whenever you get mad, it's conflict resolution. Some people say, no, it's counseling. We just need therapy and we would be all right. Some people say, no, it's because you didn't read Dr. Gary Chapman's love languages. You didn't read the love languages. You're sitting up here trying to give me quality time. I am gift giving, buy me something next time. It's the love language. And there's validity to that, y'all.

I was studying for this and I found out that they did a survey on ladies and found out that most married women, they said that the most attractive thing they see their husband doing is house chores. Fellas, I was this week old when I found that out. You mean to tell me that we are just one house cleaning away from the night of our life? I didn't know. That's what they said. It's the love language. Love languages. Some people say, no, it's finances. Finances, you want one plus one to become one. It's the finances. I didn't know your credit score was five. Oh my goodness, if we could get this together, it would work. Some people say, no, it's date night. We didn't have enough dates. We gotta get our date night in. And then some people say, no, it's sex. That's what it is, it's sex. And hear me, all those things are great. All those things are necessary, but all those things are behaviors. All of those are behaviors. And most marriage sermons start with behavior, fix the behavior. But I've noticed something about our God.

Rarely does he start with behavior. He starts with belief. Because right behavior is the overflow of right belief. Before you can do marriage math, you have to believe in God's equation. You have to believe in the equation that God started in the garden of Eden. Before we deal with the behavior, let's first deal with the belief. So you wanna do marriage math? How many wanna do marriage math? Okay, let's do it. Number one, you're gonna do marriage math? Marriage math requires believing, believing. But what about his behavior? We'll get there. But how about when she does this, we'll get there. Let's start with believing. Believing what? Believing that marriage was not humanity's idea, it was God's idea. This is the fundamental core belief. You have to know that marriage did not originate in the mind of man, it originated in the mind of God. This was his idea. Marriage was not invented by Hollywood, it was not invented by culture, it was not invented by the courthouse, this was God's idea. Marriage was a divine institution

before it was a government institution. And if you don't believe this, there's gonna be a struggle. This has to be at the bedrock of your behavior. How many of you know it's always right belief then right behavior? This is why our text is so important today in Ephesians. Because the apostle Paul is writing to the church at Ephesus. And I want you to notice what he does in the book of Ephesians. He writes to this church that he wants to grow. that he wants to strengthen, that he wants to be mature. And he starts off chapters one through three dealing with doctrine. Then he goes from chapters four through six dealing with application. He starts off the first three chapters dealing with your belief. He does not start chapter one saying, husbands, here's what you need to do. Wives, here's what you need to do. He said, we gonna get to that in chapter five. But before I start dealing with the behavior of marriage, I first need to deal with your belief. Do you believe right? Because right behavior flows from right believing. So he starts with doctrine. And then in Ephesians chapter five, he starts talking about the role of the husband

and of the wife. And look at what it says in verse 31. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. And the two will become one flesh. You see it? That's marriage math. Two becoming one. Here's my question. Paul, where you get that from? Where did you get this equation from of two becoming one? Where'd you get the equation of one plus one equals one? Well, if you go to the Gospels in Matthew chapter 19, something interesting happens. The Pharisees pull up on Jesus and they ask him a question. Hey Jesus, can a man divorce his wife for any and every reason? That's what they ask. You know why they ask that question? Because they were divided in that time period where some people who said, hey, you can only divorce your wife if there was sexual immorality. And then there was another camp that said, no, it's not sexual immorality. You can divorce your wife for anything. If she burnt the pita bread and the hummus wasn't right, you can divorce her. And it was happening in that culture. People were divorcing,

especially in that misogynistic culture. Men would leave their wives over anything. And so they come to Jesus saying, hey, can we divorce for any reason? Basically, what's the grounds for us getting out? And look at Jesus' response. He says this in Matthew 19. Haven't you read the Scriptures? That makes me laugh. People that had the Scriptures memorized, he goes, haven't y'all read the Scriptures? They recorded that from the beginning, God made them male and female. And he said, this explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two, but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together. Do you see Jesus doing the same equation too, that two must become one? I love it because they have confusion about marriage. And Jesus goes, if you got confusion, you need to go back to the origin. Anytime there is confusion about something, go back to the origin and find out the original intent of the thing, which means Paul explains it, Jesus affirms it. But then let's go back to Genesis where it's actually established. Genesis chapter two, verse 24.

Watch this. This is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and they become one flesh. Do you see that Jesus, Paul, are all pointing back to what God established all the way in Genesis? This is where he establishes what marriage is. He gets back to the bedrock of belief because before there was a church, a pastor, a government, a White House, a courthouse, or a wedding industry, there was a God. Marriage didn't originate in culture, it originated in the mind of God. And because God is the author of marriage, he has the authority to define marriage. I'm going somewhere. The author has authority. And from the very beginning, God's definition was clear. One man, one woman, one covenant, one lifetime. That is marriage. Now I know today that is not a popular view in our culture, but at Social Dallas, we don't believe that we have the authority to redefine what God already defined. We don't have that authority. Now don't get it twisted. Everybody is welcome at Social Dallas. We love everybody. I wish I would hear somebody being mean or hate speech. I'll find out about it. I will kick them in the name of Jesus.

But we don't have the authority to redefine what God already defined. And this has to be at the bedrock of your belief. He says, here's my equation. One plus one equals one. Here's what fascinates me about the design. When he says, for this reason, in Genesis, a man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife, you gotta ask yourself this question. Why are you saying that to Adam and Eve? Thank you. He looks at Adam and Eve and says, for this reason, a man shall leave his mother and father and the two become one. Come on, y'all, it's Adam and Eve. They ain't got no mama, they ain't got no daddy. We in Genesis chapter two, we already know. He went in the dirt, built a man, come on, put him to sleep, we had the first C-section, took out the rib, created a woman. So what you talking about? The mother and father, what are you talking? Come on, this is a corny preacher joke, but it makes me laugh. If you get to heaven, you can know who Adam and Eve are. Just look for the people that ain't got no belly button. Some of y'all get that tomorrow, too, because you got no mama and daddy. Why are we talking about mamas and daddies?

Oh, it must be because you are establishing the design for marriage. You must be establishing the principle of what marriage is. Ooh, how many of you know? Design determines function. The design of something determines the function of it. Okay, I'm staying on this point too long, but you know, this week I was at our future home and they're doing demo, and they were taking out all the speakers in the theaters that they're gonna demo, okay? This used to be the largest movie theater in the United States that's gonna be our future home, okay? Used to be AMC 24 back in the day, and so they're taking out all the speakers out of the theaters. But we are keeping two of the theaters in that space. Why are we keeping two of the theaters? Because we're gonna have an overflow watch party room, so if you don't get in the main sanctuary space, you can go watch it, come on, in the movie theater. It's gonna be dope, it's gonna be dope. And we're keeping one of the theaters because Social Youth is gonna use that theater for their worship space. And so we're keeping two of them. So I watched them like loading up the speakers from the theater, but then I saw them, they were taking out speakers out of two of the theaters

that we were keeping. So I was like, oh no, they're not. I was about to call the po-po. I was like, hold on, what y'all doing? Y'all can't take the speakers out of this. We're keeping these theaters. But then I found out something. I found out that those speakers were designed for that movie theater. They started asking me, are you watching movies in these theaters? I said, no, we're just gonna stream service from the main sanctuary into this. He said, oh, well, these speakers won't work anyway because these speakers were specifically designed for watching movies. You're gonna need some other speakers that are designed for the space that you're gonna use it for. And I started thinking to myself that if speakers have a strategic design, how much more God who created marriage, he's got a design for the way he wants it to function and flourish. Design determines function. So if you're going to do marriage math, what's the first thing you gotta do? You got to believe. It has to be believing in the right thing. What's the next thing that has to happen?

Do I stop at believing? Because Genesis 2 24 says, this is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife. Let the church say leaves. So marriage math didn't just require believing, it also requires leaving, leaving. Notice God does not say marry your wife and then leave your parents. He says leave and then be united. That order matters. I used to think that leaving was speaking to just geography. Like if you're gonna get married, you should probably move out of your parents' house before y'all get married. I still think that's wise, but I thought it was just talking about geography. I realized that's not just talking about geography. Don't miss this. It's talking about priority, priority. That if you are going to be married, God is talking about establishing a new primary relationship between you and your spouse. So before there can be true union, there must first be separation. Before two can become one, something has to lose first place in your life. You gotta leave something before you can be united to something. Okay, I knew this was the part

that some of y'all are gonna be like, okay, this is too much word PR and you're losing me. I know, I got you, I got you, I got you. Let me make it real plain and visual for you. I got you, okay, okay, okay. Come on back, come on back, come on back. Okay, he says, you wanna be united? You wanna be united? You gotta leave some things. This is actually how most people get married. A lot of people get married like this. You haven't left the box. You want a union, but there has to be something you leave. Something has to be severed for the two of you to establish something new. In order for this marriage to work, come on, sister girl got to come out of here. and my guy Ken has to come out of the box and now they're ready to be united now you see how easy I got them out of that box that's because I told the team before time make sure you cut the cord to make it easy for me to get them out but anybody who's got kids knows if you've ever tried to pull one of these Barbies out of the box they are so tied to how they grew up they are so tied to how they saw marriage models in their home it takes some scissors sometimes to cut what they were connected to some sharp scissors sometimes you gotta pull to really get it out of the box so it can be united I wonder what box you need to get out of so your marriage can thrive I wonder if you've left your parents house but your parents house hasn't left you because you're still fighting the way they fight you're still responding the way your dad responded you're still responding the way you saw your mama respond and because you haven't left there can be no true union but in every marriage let me

fix Ken if they're gonna be united I first have to leave you notice my selection in the dolls Ken with little melanin and Barbie it's interesting because PT and I will do marriage conferences and all the stuff and and won't without a doubt always get the question about how is it you know with like an interracial marriage like how does that work and I get the question but sometimes the question subliminally suggests that because I have more melanin it creates more of a collision and I try to let them know that melanin has been the least of how worlds colliding because every married person will tell you I don't care about y'all blue both y'all purple this is the collision of two different expectations two different vantage points two different perspectives are colliding together look at my parents who have been married for years they got an amazing marriage but it was still two different cultures collided same skin tone different cultures my dad is from already Nigeria colliding with Mount Pleasant Texas come on that's fufu and grits colliding together the challenge of marriage is asking ourselves are we willing to leave the box the mindset the patterns that I came from so that we can establish something new and have a connection hear me when you get married the challenge is learning how to leave what shapes you that you can build something new together it's about priority hear me clearly when you get married your spouse becomes your first earthly priority your first I'm talking about above your parents above your friends above your hobbies above your co-workers above your social media amen they become the priority even above I'm gonna step out there your kids I tell my kids all the time we were together before y'all we're gonna still be together when y'all leave but how many marriages have you seen where the parents come together and the focus are the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids and then they up and leave and now you at Cracker Barrel looking at a stranger that you do not know because you prioritized your children above your covenant children are a blessing from the Lord but your spouse is your covenant and I tell my kids all the time the greatest gift we can give you is a

healthy marriage that is the greatest gift you can give your kids is a healthy marriage leaving means establishing a new primary relationship for some of you means your friendships need some new boundaries I'm talking about somebody I just got married and all your friends are still single and y'all try to still hang out with them you might need a new boundary if you got a man and all your girlfriends like girl man ain't nothing you might you might need to establish a if you just got married and all your single guys going out and they're looking for ladies, you got yours. You might need a new boundary. Why? Because you have a new priority. I've talked to couples who had a husband or a wife that had a relationship with a coworker of the opposite sex that made their spouse feel uncomfortable. Not because they were controlling or insecure, but because something was competing for first place. Listen to me. Anything that threatens the priority of your marriage has to be addressed. Because before there can be union, something has to lose first place. I wish it was just about leaving, but God gives us more. Genesis 2.24, a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife. So marriage math requires what? Believing. Marriage math requires what? Leaving. I don't stop at the leaving, now I have to be united.

But I don't like the word united. I like the King Jimmy version. King James version says, a man leaves his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife. So marriage math requires believing, marriage math requires leaving, and marriage math requires cleaving. Cleaving, now let's keep it 100. Nobody uses that word today. Come on, nobody says cleave today. You have never in your life talked to somebody and say, how's the marriage going? Oh, you know, we're just working on our cleaving. Yo, what? Did he say cleavage? What is he talking about? Nobody uses that word, but it's an important word, because watch this, that word means to cling. It means to hold fast to. It means to stick to. It means to remain attached. It's a picture of two things being bonded together so tightly that separation becomes difficult. Leaving is what you walk away from. Cleaving is what you hold on to. Leaving is separation. Cleaving is attachment. Leaving says no to competing priorities. Cleaving says yes to this word, covenant. Covenant.

Not contract. Covenant. Contract means I'm with you as long as you keep up your end of the deal. You do your part, I'll do mine. Oh, you ain't doing your part? I'm about to do my part. That's contract. Covenant says I'm committed to you even when you are not holding up your end of the deal. Cleaving is connected to covenant. This is one of the reasons that the Bible consistently points towards marriage being the context for sexual intimacy, because intimacy was never designed to exist apart from covenant. When you come together physically, it is a picture of what you are doing with your life. I am intimate with my entire life, and so God says I have created a context for intimacy because I just cannot give you my body and not give you my entire life. This is the context of cleaving. And so many people are trying to experience the glue without the framework God designed to hold it. Because intimacy was never designed to exist apart from covenant. And while I'm on topic, contrary to what culture says, living together before you get married does not prepare you for marriage. In fact, study after study, not by believers,

has shown that cohabitation does not improve marital success, in many cases it is associated with higher rates of marital instability. Why? There's no covenant. There's nothing keeping me there. I can pack up my bag. As soon as I see some crazy I don't wanna live with, oh no, I didn't know that, I am out. And so you can never be you, but there's something about a covenant that keeps you there that says I made a vow and I'm committed to the vow that I made. Ooh, I know I'm gonna get a whole lot of claps on that, but that's cool, that's cool, that's cool. Marriage math is hard. Marriage math is hard. Oh, I don't like that PR. I don't agree. They're talking about getting married, but it ain't nothing but a piece of paper. That's all marriage is, it's just paper. Just a piece of paper. You're right, it's just paper. But you know what else is just paper? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's just paper. This is paper too, 100, 200, 300, 400, 500, 600.

This paper too. Oh, 700, my bad. Anybody can use $700 in these? Hey, 700, my guy right here, come on, come get 700. Because it's just paper. See, he pays to be on the front row at Social Dallas. There you go, 700. It's just paper. Now, y'all think I just blessed him. He looking at it talking about what in the world. world because that's paper it's a different kind of paper let me show y'all what i gave him put it on the screen look at what i gave him right that's what he got that's what he got my new money it's just paper he was shopping and everything got his amazon cart see see that's paper but guess what this is paper too you know the difference between that paper and this paper that paper is backed by the social dallas creative department this paper is backed by the united states government so yes it's just paper but the power is what's behind the paper god says when you come in covenant i get behind the covenant yes it's just paper but there's a god that says i got power that comes behind the paper because this is something i designed and if you do it the right way there's a blessing on the other side of it i wish somebody would give god some praise in this place today there's power behind the paper i want this paper right here not that paper both of them are paper but there's something backing this paper god says when you do it the right way it looks like it's just a piece of paper but no no no no i stand behind covenant i bless covenant i honor covenant this has happened every time we've done this series and i'm just going to insert it right here almost every time i do a series on relationships we've had couples who've been living together and they say you know what we want to do it the right way and they get married and it is amazing to see the blessing that comes it means everything is perfect you win the lottery and the tesla's in your driveway no but it means god this wasn't my idea you designed this so i'm getting in order and coming into alignment with what you designed how many are thankful for the blessing that comes behind doing

the way god designed you worship team join me marriage math requires believing marriage math requires leaving marriage math requires cleaving and then it says that the two will what will what will become one flesh so marriage math has to require becoming it doesn't say they will be day one but it suggests that we are becoming one flesh becoming that means i'm on a journey that means it's a lifetime the wedding happens in a day but becoming happens over decades the ceremony takes minutes but becoming takes years i wish i could tell you one day you wake up you're like oh we did it we became one no no no you become one conversation at a time one prayer at a time one sacrifice at a time one apology at a time one act of forgiveness at a time one act of service at a time one season at a time you know why marriage is hard because becoming requires dying you gotta die to yourself all y'all that shouted that you wanted to be married i told you i was gonna ask you we'll see don't get married if you don't want to die to you if you want to be selfish stay by yourself if you don't want to address the issues that came from your box stay by yourself because it will reveal all of that in marriage but are you committed to becoming i can't preach this message without bringing out my bride the lovely taylor madu y'all could do better than that come on marriage requires becoming we don't stand here as marriage experts we are celebrating 14 years And I will testify, and I know she'll testify, we are not the same people we were when we got married 14 years ago. It's been years of becoming. And one of the things we've learned in becoming is this right here, it's what we're doing right now, is that we might not always see eye to eye. Sometimes I'm over here with it and she's over there with it. You might not always see eye to eye, but we are going to fight to keep walking hand in hand. To keep walking hand in hand. The unbecoming of a relationship starts gradually. One act of bitterness holding a grudge over time.

And I want to give somebody hope today that the same way things began to unravel, things can come together if you commit the same God, I need your strength and your grace and the humility to say, let's keep on becoming. What's the power in that? Well, Paul tells us the power in it. Because right when you think he's just talking about marriage, notice what he does. He flips it in the text and goes, oh, by the way, this is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. Hold on, Paul. I thought we were talking about husband and wife. He's like, I know, I flipped the script on you. Because the most beautiful metaphor of all the metaphors that God could have used about our relationship to him, he chooses to use this metaphor right here of a husband and a wife. Paul's going, marriage always points to a bigger picture. That if you want to see what it points to, a healthy marriage, it points to what your Savior did for you. How many are thankful he didn't wait for you to get your act together before he died for you? He didn't wait for you to be perfect before he died for you. As a matter of fact, he didn't die because you were so special and lovely. He died to make you special, to make you lovely. He said, I'll pay the price. It always points to the gospel. Something bigger.

This is why hell comes against this. This is why the enemy attacks it. Because of what this points to. When you are connected, one plus one equals one. It is a picture of us, the church, being a bride, and our bridegroom, who is Jesus, who paid the price for us. And how many are thankful that the coming one is coming, and one day he will come, and he will get his bride? He died to make us lovely. And I want some couples today to have hope that even when you don't see eye to eye, we're gonna fight to walk hand in hand. Hear me, husbands? Paul has more language for us than he does for the ladies. Don't get caught up in the submitted part. He says, we got to die like Christ, and my command is to love her. Husbands, hear me. You cannot have a healthy marriage if she does not feel loved. That's the command. Love. Ladies, you cannot have a healthy marriage if he does not feel respected. That's the command for you to respect. Why does he got to tell us to love and tell y'all to respect? Because that's what's hard for you to do. I respect him when he starts loving me. I'll show her love when she respects me. That's how the separation happens.

And God's calling us to have the grace and the strength and the humility to not give up on the formula, because it's hard, but we got to trust him. I'm going to ask every married couple, if you're here with your spouse, would you stand to your feet? Would you take your spouse by the hand? Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, man. This is what the enemy is after, because of the picture this points to. This is what he hates. I'm looking at the couple, at the relationship series, y'all chose to do it the right way and got married. Still here. Still standing. How long y'all been married? How many years is it now? Two years. Two years ago that relationship series. Say why? Been together 11. Come on. But still becoming. Still becoming. Those of you that desire to be married, I'm gonna ask you to join these couples. Desire to be married. Come on. Yeah. Thank you Jesus. That's only if you desire. If you could, that's fine. Paul had that special grace. I'm gonna ask my lovely bride just to pray. To pray over couples. To pray over those who desire to be married. What a beautiful opportunity for a community to have couples who are fighting to walk hand in hand in the becoming. And have people watch this that are dating and honoring God the right way. And getting married and having kids. This is the beauty of what a church can be. So I'm just gonna ask her to pray over us today. Father we pause. Thank you Jesus. We say thank you for this word. Today the truth. The truth it anchors us. It sustains us. It ultimately sets us free. And so we invite it. And we receive it today. We present every marriage to you today God in your presence. Some marriages are thriving and flourishing. And yet some aren't sure if they're gonna make it past today. But I speak to those individuals that they would submit and surrender in humility every detail. The enemy has come to kill, steal, and destroy. And we're aware of that. But God you are greater. And what you did on the cross is greater. And I believe

that you're giving these individuals insight and wisdom to be able to endure and press forward. They will make it. Yes Jesus. You will be okay when we surrender and give it to you Father. You truly do the miraculous. And so I pray for those that are tempted to walk away. Tempted to give up. Tempted to get frustrated and leave. God that you would pull them back together and align them God with your word and with your truth. That you will heal. And you will restore. And you will redeem. And you will restore. And you will redeem. Because that is the God that you are. You are God that makes all things new God. And we're living testimony of that Father. May you bring them back God to the altar. A place of grace and mercy for the other. That they would die to themselves and invite you into the center of it. God and they would watch you work. Yes Jesus. And heal. We thank you for the healing that's taking place right now. We thank you for the pride that is dying right now. We thank you that you are entering into the deepest places of their souls. And you're healing them. And you're freeing them God from pornography addiction. And from past pain and trauma God. You're healing them right now God. Even in your presence. Thank you God. We believe that you're doing it. There's hope for them as they take steps towards making you the center. And Lord I pray for the individuals that want and desire to be married. God that you would give them the strength and the self-control and the wisdom. Yes Jesus. How to honor you God in the season of dating or in the season of singleness. Marriage doesn't fix it. But they would learn how to walk hand in hand with you as the helper, our Holy Spirit. That you would guide them with wisdom. Guide them with truth. Guide them God with self-control. So that when they do get married Lord you would be exalted. Have your way in this house today. Social global. God we bless the people that are watching online. Thank you God. That you would be the center of our lives. And that the enemy would be silenced. He has no power. He has no authority. Thank you Jesus. Any demonic attack that has been assigned. No assignment can stand against the power of your Word. In Jesus name. In Jesus name. In Jesus name. You are restoring. You are healing. In Jesus name. Right here right now God. You are restoring. In Jesus name. The name above every name God. We exalt you. We thank you for what you're doing today. And everyone said Amen. Amen. Amen. I want to do one more thing, just with heads bowed, eyes enclosed, if you could just honor this moment. We never want to end a service at Social Dialysis without giving somebody an opportunity to

respond to Jesus. The one who modeled true love, who didn't wait for you to get yourself together, but while you were in your sin, died in your place. So just in this moment, heads bowed, eyes enclosed, I don't care if it's one person, you're worth it. If you say, hey PR, I need to surrender my life to Jesus. How do you get the capacity to love somebody? How do you get the capacity to forgive? It starts with understanding what has been done for you and surrendering your life to this Savior. So with heads bowed and eyes closed, if you say, hey PR, I need to give Jesus my life today. I'm not asking you, do you have a relationship with church? Have you surrendered your life to the Lordship of Jesus? If that's you, I want to pray with you. Would you just lift up your hand high enough and long enough to where I could see it? If that's you, I see that hand, I see that hand. Thank you. I see that hand. Thank you, Jesus. Anybody else? I see that hand. Thank you, God. Just lift it up and put it right back down. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, God. Thank you, Jesus. Here, I want us to pray this prayer. We're all going to say it as one big family, but especially those of you who responded, come on, I'm going to give you the words, but you say this from your heart.

Would you say this? Say, Jesus, I need you. I cannot do life without you. Jesus, I believe that you are the son of God. Jesus, I believe that you lived the life that I was supposed to live and you died the death that I was supposed to die. You took my place. You love me. So, Lord, I'm asking you to come into my life. Forgive me of my sins. Make me brand new. From this moment forward, I'm walking with you. In Jesus' name, amen, amen, amen, amen. Come on, if you meant what you prayed, would you give God praise today?