LF Prison Ministry Podcast - Episode 1: Practical Steps Toward Change, How to Pray, and Powerful Testimony

What is up, men and women? My name is Robert. This is Pastor Logan here, and we got a new thing that we're starting. We're calling it the Life Fellowship Prison Ministry Podcast. We heard podcasts really pop off on the Pando app, and so we said, hey, let's see what we can do and see what happens. And so, like I said, my name is Robert, and you are? Man, I'm Logan Williams. My TDC number is 1490218. It's just an awesome honor and a privilege and a blessing to be able to speak into your life from right here at Life Fellowship Church in McKinney, Texas. You guys are part of our Life Fellowship family. We have prayer groups that pray over you. We have people that lay hands on the prayer request cards that you guys send in. Man, we love you, and if you're ever in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex on a Sunday after you get out, I don't care where you live, if you're anywhere near here, man, come visit us. Come by and see us. It's such a blessing to get to see you guys and get to just actually see the fruit of what God is doing through the Pando app, and man, we're so excited to be able to talk to you today. Yeah. So, right now, our plan is that we're gonna record one of these once a month, put them out there once a month, and we'll see what happens. But you actually have a really interesting story, because a really powerful story. I'd love to hear your story anytime you tell it. So, number one, tell us a little bit about who you are, your prison story, how you came to Christ. Yeah. I grew up, man, just a mess.

I was a mess. You know, when you don't feel special, you don't feel set apart, you're kind of the troublemaker, and no one really knows who you are, you can get a sense that you're just not good enough. You can get a sense that I just don't have what it takes, and then we can turn to other things to get that fulfillment, right? Anything but God. And so, it'd be my story, you know, if I could just find my fulfillment in things, if I could just find my fulfillment in sex, if I could find my fulfillment in drugs or drink, then I would be happy. And this would just lead me down a dark road in the school of hard knocks, man, some dark roads, and I began just using drugs, I couldn't stop, addicted, addiction, many attempts by my family to try to help me, to no avail. Even when I wanted to stop, I couldn't stay stopped. You know, I could stop for a little while, but I couldn't stay stopped, because what I learned was that the drugs and the alcohol were my solution. What I had was a spiritual malady, I had an internal condition, right, that can only be treated by God, yet I would search for these solutions and other things. And they worked, momentarily. The drugs and the alcohol works momentarily, but it's never lasting, and then I, then here comes the consequences, and so many treatment centers, and then I start going to jail, and many times bailed out of jail, I'm telling you, man, it was probably the worst thing that could, that ever happened to me, was that people kept bonding me out of jail, because I kept getting more charges, and you know, eventually they'll send you to prison, and So in 2007, I started going to prison, you know, you land on one of those units for the first time, I don't care who you are, or how tough you are, you have a moment where you're like, dang, man, I did not mean for it to get this far, right? When I started smoking weed when I was 13, I didn't intend to land on the Middleton unit in Abilene, Texas, in August. You know, it's blazing hot, it's all the things, and so I began to go to church, because I

didn't want to come back, obviously, but you know, I would just go to church, and I would just check the boxes, but I wasn't changing the way I was living. I wasn't coming against sin, I wasn't trying to live a righteous life, I wasn't trying to actually get a relationship with Jesus. I would just go to the church services, or the kairoses, or the things, I would get baptized, hoping that that would just be this magic wand that was waved over me, and then life would be good again, I would be okay again. No plans whatsoever to, what am I going to do when I get out? I just wanted to get out, but I didn't think about, what am I going to do when I get out to stay out? And so I was easily... Deceived every time I got out. I was easily deceived. I was right back pretty quickly in the same struggle, the same sin struggle. Man, I'm telling you guys, the enemy will come at you when you hit that gate and the world will rush at you. And if you're not ready, if you're not prepared, if you hadn't built up those, what I call spiritual muscles, meaning while you're in there, pray. While you're in there, read the word. While you're in there, confess your sin to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed. Putting these principles into practice, like you're not gonna be, it's like, okay, I'm gonna try out for the Dallas Cowboys in August, but all summer, man, I'm just gonna sit on the couch

and eat potato chips. Like, how do you think that's gonna work out? I have to be ready. I have to get, but I wasn't doing that. While I was in prison, and I say this because many of you could be here, my mindset was I know what I'm gonna do when I get out. I know how to walk this out, and when I get out, I'm gonna do all these things. But while I'm in here, right, like, prison sucks, right? I'm gonna just do whatever I gotta do to be comfortable, to get through this time. You know, I would do the hustles, right? I was doing the gambling. I was at the knock table. I was doing all the, you know, if you stole some food out of the kitchen, I'd buy it from you. If you had some tobacco or some drugs or whatever you had, man, I'm down just trying to get through this thing. But when I get out, right, I'm gonna start doing this. And that did not work for me. I was easily deceived. I was back on drugs. And so, four trips to prison, wash, rinse, repeat, basically. And this last time I got, I went to prison. I was in Collin County Jail in 2017.

Pastor John Melander here at Life Fellowship brought the Life Fellowship service into the Collin County Jail. I just, I watched it and went every week for six months or so. I fell in love with Jesus. I fell in love with Life Fellowship. I said, man, when I get out, I'm gonna find this Life Fellowship place just like I encourage all of you to do. And I'm glad I did. But it wasn't just rainbows and bunny rabbits. I was deceived again. I fell back into drugs and crime again. And it was just six months of darkness. And then on August 11th of 2021, man, the Holy Spirit just started banging on the doors of my heart. I was like, hey, man, if you wanna stop doing this, you can just get up and leave this room. Just get up and leave this room. And I got you. He wanted me to give away the drugs, get up, leave the room, and he's got me. What does that sound like? It sounds like what he said to the man that was sitting at the pool for 38 years, right? Get up, take up your mat, and walk. Get up, get out of this room, and I got you. Deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow me.

You see the correlations? Like, we have to do something. It's not just, boom, you're righteous. He's always asking us to do something. And so, man, I just heard him, and I believed him, and I walked out of that room, man, August 11th of 2021, and my life has just taken off like a rocket ship. It has been an incredible ride just to see how many times God just has shown up in my story, and this is the hope that I wanna give you guys, man. When you give Jesus your yes, man, God will just show up in your story in ways that you never thought or imagined. He has a plan for every single one of us, man. Psalm 139 says our days were laid out before us, before we were ever even formed in our mother's womb. Can you just imagine? Before he even formed you in your mother's womb, he's like, man, I got big plans for him. I got big plans for her. And Romans 11, 29 says that the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. They can't be canceled out or changed or omitted or taken away. The only thing that can keep us from that is us not stepping in to our calling, not giving God and Jesus our yes. He is not going to force himself upon us. We have to choose him. But when we do, man, I'm telling you,

life can be indescribably wonderful. Yeah, that's good. So before we get into all those details, have a little, a few icebreakers. Okay, okay. What's a verse that you would say is your life verse? Man, I have a lot of life verses. In fact, when I was locked up, I had the back of a legal pad, like the cardboard piece, and I just had five or six scriptures written on there that I would just go to, man. Like, I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can think or ask. If God is for me, who is against me? Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. Who the Son sets free is free indeed. And I would just carry them around and I would memorize them. And I would just go to them. But now as I've walked out, man, there's other scriptures that he drops on me that I have, that I use as a weapon, as a battle. And this is something I heard when I first got saved from someone, hey, but we don't have to be like PhD level theologians and have this whole thing memorized. But we need to have a scripture that we can fight with. We need to have a bullet in the gun when the enemy comes against us. And recently I've been reading the story of Caleb

and Joshua and how all the spies went in and they like eight of them, eight of the 10 or 10 of the 12 are like, oh, they're giants are too big. We can't take it. But Caleb and Joshua were like, no, man, let's stand on God's promise. Let's go. And then later on in Numbers, it said that Caleb, it said Caleb had a different spirit. He didn't want to, he didn't see what, he didn't make his decisions based on all the things that he saw, all these giants and all these obstacles. He believed God's promise. And so that's been my verse recently because it changes is that, man, Caleb had a different spirit. I want God to look at me and say, yeah, but Logan, man, he's got a different spirit. He's got a warrior spirit. He trusts God. He believes God and he stands on that. What's something that a lot of people would be surprised to know about you? Man, he's just surprising me with all these questions. I mean, we, listen, we all have moments when we don't feel like we're qualified or that we're equipped. I mean, I never planned on working at a church. I never planned on being a pastor. And so, yes, I have to fight against that,

that feeling of do I have what it takes? Do I, am I qualified? Am I, do I have what it takes, man, to step into this role because I didn't go to seminary. I haven't been saved that long. All the things, I have 14 felony convictions. I did drugs for decades. All the things that the enemy comes against me. And so I struggle with that, the feelings of inadequacy. So like, I don't know if it's insecurity, but I'm kind of enwrapped in that. Yeah, well, but again, you go back to God's word. Who does God say that we are? And that's important, man. It's God's word that gets me out of the mud. It's not a feely good sermon, right? But it's reminding myself of God's faithful word and who he says that I am. Okay, last icebreaker. Of the biblical characters, or people, because they're not characters, they're real people, build a church staff. So you remove Jesus. So of the biblical characters, who would you say would be, like, who would you choose to be senior pastor? I would choose, man, that's a good question. I should have got the list of questions beforehand. I just made these up. Robert's just, yeah. No, I mean, you can't go wrong with Paul.

You can't go wrong with Peter. I want people that are going to stand and walk this out, even in the midst of persecution, even in the midst of things coming against them. Anyone can be a senior pastor when you have 14 campuses and everything is going great and the money is coming in and you can do all the ministries that you want to, but when there's opposition against you, man, that you still stand firm on God's word and stay in the lane that he has us in and not divert and do other things that you maybe look on Instagram and you see other churches doing. So, hey, maybe I should do that because that's what they're doing. No, no, no. I'm gonna do what God has called this church to do. Those are the people I want. And I believe Paul because, I mean, look, I mean, let's be real. He got stoned. They thought he was dead. They drug him out of the city and then he wakes up, right? He just got hammered with rocks and he goes right back into the city. Like, that's who I want leading me. That's the courageous person that I want leading me. So your answer would be Paul? So my answer is gonna be Paul, yes.

Okay, what about a one-word answer, men's pastor? Who would you choose? I would choose Andrew. What about a women's pastor for the women? I would choose Mary Magdalene. Okay. Worship. Who is the worship leader? I don't know. David? Yeah, David. David's a good one, yeah. Okay, last one. What about the finance director? Judas. Judas. Just kidding. No, you know, I don't know if I would ask the Holy Spirit that. Okay, what about, a different question. What about? Who would you choose, Robert? Who would you choose for the finance director? As the finance director? I mean, Matthew handled the finances for the apostles, but why not Solomon? I think Solomon would be a great fundraiser. He'd be good at raising funds, building new campuses. But the thing is, would he have the moral integrity, you know, because he had multiple wives, you know?

Like, could he, I don't know. But, I don't know, I'm not here to. Well, it depends on how old Solomon was. If he was at the end of his life, maybe he would be a better integrity than in the beginning. All right, so, let's get back into you. So, like, what was, let's focus on before Christ. Like, what was your view of God before you came to Christ? So, I was drugged to church as a little kid by my grandmother. I love her. I believe that her prayers, she was a very, very, very godly woman. She died when I was nine years old, but every time that I would go visit her, man, we were in church. I watched her pray with her friends. They would just get together and pray for people. And so, I believed, I believed, but I didn't act like I believed. Like, I wouldn't deny God, but again, it's that mindset of, well, God hasn't done anything for me, but the truth is, I haven't done anything at all to try to walk in this lane. I haven't come against sin. I haven't repented of anything. And so, it's easy, well, I went to church, but my life's still bad, you know? I mean, here's the thing.

You could be a born-again believer walking in this, like, and your life could still be bad, in terms of the world. I mean, Jesus said we're gonna have trouble in this world, but take heart, I've overcome the world. But I would say that my view of God was, he was up there, but maybe I just wasn't cut out to walk this out. I just wasn't the type of person that was gonna be able to do this, you know? Yeah. What do you feel like looking, like, in that moment, growing up, what did you feel like you were searching for? Like? I, well, so growing up, man, I had this insecurity. I really, like, I always had to be around people. And it really bothered me, if other people were out there doing something, and, like, I didn't get invited, or if there was something happening that I wasn't a part of, I had this, just, I don't know, this thirst for acceptance. And I guess I never really felt like I had that. And so, again, it's so easy to turn to other things, to get those needs met other than God. So how, so after coming to Christ and being radically transformed, how has your view of yourself changed from who you were to who you are now? Well, I mean, it's just so apparent in my life.

Like, when I talk about the person I used to be, people are like, I can't even imagine that you being that person. I can't imagine you, like, shooting meth for months at a time, and stealing and robbing from people, all the things that we do, right? And so, yeah, it does feel good. It does feel good to be in the lane that I believe God has called me to be in. It feels good to, know that I'm trying my hardest every day to come against sin, that I'm tithing, I'm coming to church, I'm denying myself and doing some things maybe that are a little inconvenient because I know that that's what God wants me to do, people he wants me to reach out to. And so, when you're walking in that, you can kind of have this security, right? It's like Psalm 91 talks about, he called me to be in the lane that I believe God has called me to be in. He talks about, he covers us with his pinions or his feathers. He paints this picture of, like, God is this mother hen, and we're these little chickens, and she's got us, you know? I don't wanna be outside from underneath the wing, you know? And so, it feels really good to be underneath there. Are things gonna happen? Yes, but is God gonna get us through them? Yes, he's got us. He's covering us, he's protecting us because I know in my heart that I'm doing everything I can

to stay underneath that covering. Yeah, did you feel like, was it hard for you to understand, like, just the simplicity of Christianity? Like, all I have to do is believe in God, believe that he, or believe that Jesus was the son of God, that he died on the cross, he rose again on the third day, and all my sins are washed away because of that? Like, was that hard for you to grasp, or was there, like, Did you feel like there was more to it than that? Well, yeah, I mean, my whole life I felt like, I mean, I believed in that, but I didn't think really that it was just that simple. Well, I guess I didn't believe in that, because if I truly believed in that, then I would have repented. I would have had some, oh my God, he saved me from sin, death, and hell, and actually gave me a seat at the table after all this stuff that I've done. Like, it would cause me to, out of that love, to respond with some repentance. I never responded with any repentance. I believed in God. I believed in that there was a God, maybe not the whole Jesus came and died for our sins. That maybe took having that moment in that hotel room when I knew that I knew that I knew that Jesus was speaking to me, and he wanted me to, that he had something for me,

and he wanted me to get up and leave that room, that life, those drugs, that crime, that sexual sin, all the stuff that was in that room, and walk up out of there. When you get a download from God, or when God speaks to you, it's pretty impactful. It's pretty impactful. Yeah, and whenever God spoke to you in that moment, like, how were you able to discern that it was him? Because I feel like a lot of people struggle. Like, am I hearing from God, myself? Like, how were you able to discern that the Holy Spirit was speaking to you in that moment? Well, it was, the first thing was because he said, but don't do it if you don't want to. If you wanna stop, get up and leave this room, and I got you. Because in my mind, I know I'm heading back to prison. I know it's just a matter of time. The world is closing in around me. I'd had some car wrecks and ran away from the scene, and I was starting to get some calls from different agencies and wanting to ask me questions, and I'm on parole and all this stuff. It was happening, and I could see it happening, but I'm just like, well, but it's probably not gonna happen today, so today I'm just gonna continue to do this thing. But when he said, hey, man, if you wanna stop, if you want away from that, like, I have something for you,

get up and leave this room, but then he's like, but don't do it if you don't want to. Like, if you don't want to, don't do it. Stay here and keep on. Like, here's the thing, man. God can still take our horrible, bad decisions. He can still take our catastrophes, and he can work it for the good. I'll give you an example. I go down to the Michaels unit sometimes with my friend Scott, and there's many guys in there with multiple life sentences. And what he, the culture that he's created there is, hey, man, if you're getting out, let's go. Let's get connected to Christ. Let's get connected to purpose. Let's grow as much as we can, because when you get out, he has an amazing plan and purpose for you to make much of his name and enlarge his kingdom. But if you're never getting out, these guys have purpose. These guys are pouring into those guys that are getting out. They've been there for a while. They've been walking with Christ for 10, 20, 30 years, even though they're never getting out. They have some freedom that maybe some of us out here don't even have because they're so close to him. Their mission, their purpose is to pour into the guys that are getting out, and then these guys get out,

and they go on to do amazing things, and they continue to stay in contact with those guys as mentors, even though they're in the prison. They continue to stay in contact with them as mentors. They'll even put money on their books. They'll try to honor and bless them as their mentors. And so these guys that are never getting out have purpose, man, and I've seen it. I've seen people that are like, I'm never getting out of here, but I'm freer than I've ever been. And I even heard one guy say at the All Red unit, he said, for the first time in my life, my mom said, I'm proud of you. For the work that I'm doing, even though I'm in prison and I'm never getting out, my mom's proud of me. That's powerful. One of the things I believe is freedom is more internal than it is external. Like there's a lot of people who roam around here, some may even walk in here on Sundays, and they're physically free, but internally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, they're in prison, they're in bondage. They're in bondage to an addiction, to a sin cycle. And I'm not saying, like, of course, the Lord will set us free from that, but we have to truly surrender. We have to truly bring that to repentance. And so whenever the Lord called you to that,

like what were some practical things that you had to do? Like change doesn't just happen overnight for most people. Like what were some things that you had to do? What are some things you had to lay down? What are some practical things that, some practical daily habits that you had to walk out? So first I had to give away a whole bunch of dope. All right, I had made it to the top of the food chain in the dope. Dealing world and I had to just hand over thousands of dollars worth of drugs, which was hard It felt like I was jumping off a cliff. I had the enemy in my ears screaming. What are you doing? You don't ever stay sober. You know, you're gonna relapse again, and you're just gonna give all this away. Don't be stupid, you know So there was that battle as I was walking out of that room like what am I doing? So that was hard and and then he opened a few doors and in a few days later. I was in an Oxford house I was in a sober living house. And I remember I woke up the first morning. I was praying I was meditating I was off into in a corner of the house by myself and God I was thanking him for for saving me out of that room and I'm not going back to prison now and and he downloads yeah, but You're not all in and I'm like, what do you mean? Like what else could I do? And he's like you're you he asked me to lay down sexual sin was the second thing I had a girlfriend that I was sleeping with that. I was not married to and he's like, that's my beloved daughter Right who and you're leading her down a path of destruction and I was like in my mind That was crazy because I didn't think anyone any Christian even though there's full of churches Actually did that. I didn't think anyone actually did that And so I'm like, come on God and he's this is the phrase that changed my life He said imagine what your life could be like if you just got all the way in one time He said you've never been all in with me, and I don't want 90% of you I want all of you and I remember laying that down having that conversation with her. We're now married Okay, and we have an amazing marriage, but there was 11 months that we laid that down And then it was shortly after that. He's like I want you to I want you to tithe now at the time

I'm cleaning houses with the lady in the church for like 75 bucks a day Okay, and he's like, yeah, I'm like, so I'm making 75 bucks God. What you want me to give you some 50? He's like, yeah, I want you to give me some 50 soon as it hits your account. I want you to give it to me I want you to give it to me And he's like, I don't care where you give it to but I want you to get I want you to put me first I want you to to honor me with your blessings that I'm giving you and It was hard at first because it doesn't make sense Now what I'm learning about man, I could do a whole thing on just tithing and how it's just absolutely just Revolutionized my finances. Yeah, but that wasn't one of the things and then there's more things as things go on and on things that Take up my time things that I was interested in some social media stuff that I had to lay down some He's always asking us to lay things down anything. That's more important To us than him. Yeah, that's good. Do you ever feel like a temptation to go back to the old ways and If so, maybe I don't know if you do now, but I'm sure you have especially in the beginning in the beginning Yeah, like well, how did you fight that? Was it just a self-control type deal? No, it was prayer. It was and there was a couple of moments that It was just the Holy Spirit keeping me At that I was at that Oxford house, I remember my my card got stolen and wrecked and It was during kovat. So there was no like supply chain for car parts So it was it had insurance so it was gonna get fixed But it was taken like months because they couldn't get the parts, right? It's just sitting there which was a blessing to me because honestly, I didn't need a car at that time But I had a bicycle and I had to ride this bicycle to parole I had to ride this bicycle across Dallas like 10 miles to the drug class that they put me in And every time I would ride right by this hotel That my that my plug was at it was in town suites man right there on Greenville and 635 And I would write and I would look down and I would see his black charger in there and I knew man I could just turn down in there and knock on his door and I would just be it would be on again and

For about three months, man It was a struggle every time I looked down there I just like saying Holy Spirit helped me and I would just keep riding and then one day Guess what? His car wouldn't down there and I hadn't seen it since But so in those moments It's prayer and it's having good godly men around you Or women if you're a what if you're a woman many times I Had to call see one of the first things I did was I came to life fellowship And I and I came back to LF men and we were in these groups and I got men around me And they were a little you know, because the things that we're dealing with We're not really the things that we're supposed to be Really? things that Life Fellowship people deal with, you know. But, you know, I would call them, because there was occasionally, someone would reach out to me from the drug world, and I would engage in a conversation with them. And I would get tempted, you know, especially if it was a female. Oh, let me just see how they're doing. Let me just see what's happening out there. And then I would call them and say, hey man, this is gonna sound weird, but I just talked to this girl that I was doing really, really bad things with, like three weeks ago, and I'm tempted right now. And man, they would speak life into me. They would pray over me. They would say things like,

just the fact that you made this call today shows that the Spirit of God is in you, and that you're a mighty man of God. Man, it just changed everything to have a prayer spoken over me, and to have that spoken over me. But I had to choose to do that in the moment. We're gonna have a choice. We can, when that K2 comes on your run, you can choose to get the drugs, or you can choose another route. We have to choose, and the Scripture says that God is not, all men are tempted, but God's not gonna tempt us. He's always gonna give us a way out, where we can stand up and bear it. There's always gonna be a way out, because I know that we learn in recovery rooms, 12-step land out there, that we're powerless, and that our life is unmanageable, and we're absolutely powerless. And I, in that moment, the Scripture says, God will give us a way out. So there is a point at which you have a choice to choose God, making a phone call, making a prayer, getting in the Word, whatever that is, turn on Pando, put your headphones on, praise and worship. There's many things that'll get us out of that, but He'll give us something to get out of that.

We have to choose that, and not choose the familiar thing. Yeah, so really, like, prayer, obviously, if you're gonna get one thing right in Christianity, it should be prayer. Like, you should be communing with the Father, not just whenever you need something, not just a five-minute time in your schedule to pray. Like, for me, I'm always praying in the Spirit. I'm always asking the Lord the things that I'm working on in that day. Like, how can I do this the best that I can possibly do it? How can I do it with wisdom? How can I do it in a way that would honor you, rather than just give a bare minimum effort? So, I think prayer is ultimate. Like, that should be the number one thing you should get right in Christianity, if you're gonna get anything right. And then accountability, too, like you said, is extremely huge. I mean, huge. And on the prayer thing, man, here in the last year or so, man, my prayers have kinda shifted from, hey, God, help me get through this. Hey, God, heal me of this. Hey, God, I need this blessing. Hey, God, I need some money. Hey, God, I've got, you know, it's shifted sort of to, hey, God, what do you wanna do? Like, how can I partner with you

in what you're doing on planet Earth? Like, your kingdom come, your will be done. I know you're moving on Earth. How can I pray into that? How can I put my life into that? Because that is gonna happen, and I wanna be a part of it. And I think that just comes with some maturity and while I'm doing that, all this stuff that I was praying for, it just works itself out. All this anxiety stuff just works itself out. And so, man, maybe a good prayer in the morning would be like, hey, God, good morning. Thank you for waking me up. I love you, I praise you, I worship you, I trust you. God, what are you doing in this prison? What are you doing on the run that I live on? I'm available to you today, God. Show me how I can be a part of what you wanna do here. In Jesus' name, amen. Just a simple prayer of let's try to get on God's page instead of trying to get God on our page. Yeah, and I think whenever we pray like that, it takes us from defense to offense. Like, we, a lot of times, we wait for pressure to hit and then we pray. But whenever we pray, hey, God, what do you wanna do? We all of a sudden don't, whenever we're on defense, we react. It's just somebody is hitting us before we hit them.

I think of like a running back that's going and hitting a hole and that linebacker is waiting on that running back to make an impact so he can make a tackle. But I wanna be the running back that is going to make an impact first. I don't wanna wait until pressure is applied to me. I wanna be the one that applies the pressure first. And I think that's a great, I think praying, hey, God, what do you wanna do rather than what I wanna do? Because what I wanna do, it can be great, they're gonna have great motives, but if it's not ultimately lined up with what you wanna do, it's gonna be relatively powerless. And you're gonna notice when you start praying like that, that yeah, you might wake up and your plan might be to go do this activity and this activity, and then I'm going to chat. and then I'm gonna do this and then I'm gonna do this. But God may have some person over here that just had a phone call with a family member that they haven't talked to in six months and maybe they find out that their mom is sick and dying or their grandfather is sick and dying or something. You know the anxieties, man. That the worst anxiety in prison is, man, if something happens to my mom or a loved one, like you're totally powerless over it.

Maybe somebody just got that call and maybe what he wants you to do instead of this, this, this, the same old thing you do every day is, hey man, go have a conversation with that guy. And how are you gonna know to do that if you don't pray and ask God for the wisdom to highlight and show you the people that he's chasing after? And this is how you change environments, man. This is how you change the pod that you live in and ultimately the prison that you live in and ultimately the prison system, man. We are seeing revival pop off in prisons, man. And it's stuff like this that causes that to happen. So guys, I encourage you, maybe change your prayers. God, what do you wanna do today and how can I be a part of that? How can I be your hands and feet about what you're doing today? Yes, I have needs, but God, I wanna be on your page. Yeah, and that's something that's honestly really hard for me because I'm a type A personality. I love to conquer. I love to win. I love to go do hard things, love to set new standards, love to achieve hard things. And with that, I mean, those are all, those are my best qualities. But with that, I can tend to emphasize the projects

that I'm working on over the people that are right in front of me, that God has called me to love, that the people is always gonna be more important than the projects and I understand that. But it's really hard for me sometimes to put aside the projects because I'm so determined on getting these things done and then just focusing on the people. And I was reading in Matthew 9, I believe it is, yesterday, and Matthew 9, I think verse 35, 36, where Jesus sees the multitudes and he feels compassion for them. And then that compassion is what leads him next to saying to the apostles or to the disciples, hey man, the workers are few, but the harvest is plentiful. And like, man, that just kinda hit me in that moment. And the Lord just kinda spoke to me. Like, the moment I lose compassion is the moment ministry becomes a burden rather than a calling and it becomes a job or an obligation rather than something that you get to do with joy. And so that compassion part, just taking my eyes off of what's going on with me, who I am, what I'm doing, and putting it on everybody else. And maybe I'm serving people by what I'm doing, but am I doing it with the motive of I wanna get promoted, I wanna get a raise, I wanna have this next opportunity open up to me,

so I wanna do it the best I can so that I can, so that door will be opened, or am I doing it with the motive of, hey man, what I'm doing is actually making a way for people to have an encounter with God, is making a way to have an encounter. And I mean, for what we do in facilities is, I think of it as like John the Baptist, like we're creating the way, we're paving the way for people to have an encounter so they don't look around. Making straight the path. Exactly, making straight the path. And so, but yeah. Yeah, you know, I had a revelation about a year ago around this, and God basically told me, because I was so just, this is what I'm doing today, purpose-driven, and I'm gonna get these things done. He's like, man, you've missed hundreds of divine appointments that I've set for you, because you're so focused on what you think you wanna do. And that's what kind of got me out of that mindset. Because that's ultimately the goal, right? Is to bring people to Christ. And if we're not spiritually tuned in, like some of you have radios, those old school radios, I know that's what y'all have, and y'all have to tune it in so you can hear it. We gotta stay tuned in spiritually to the people that God is gonna highlight for us

that he has already left 99 and are chasing after. But he needs our help sometimes. He needs our partnership. And guys, there's people in the place that you're at right now that are gonna hear the words coming out of your mouth. They're not gonna hear Craig Rochelle. They're not gonna hear whoever, right? Michael Todd. They're not gonna hear Louie Giglio. But something about your story, your testimony, they are gonna hear that, and they're gonna come to Christ. They're already out there waiting, man. They're waiting for you to go and speak to them. Don't miss any more appointments. Yeah. What is a lie you think a lot of inmates, what is a lie you think Satan wants a lot of these guys? as to believe. I've done too much, I've gone too far, God would never use me, I've killed somebody, I've kicked doors in and beat up families and robbed them, I've raped people, I've done horrendous sexual sin, God would never use me, God would never love me, God is mad at me, God is disappointed in me, I've done too much to be forgiven. You know, what's the truth from God's word that breaks that stronghold? That you cannot out sin the grace of Jesus, man.

Luke 15, read Luke 15, it's one of my favorite scriptures. There is, he is waiting for you to just turn around and get up out of the pig pen and take a couple steps, just like I had to get up out of the hotel room and take a couple steps, he runs to us. He's not mad at us, he wants to come alongside us and walk with us and throw a party for us and eat ribeye steaks with us, metaphorically speaking, kill the fattened calf. You can't out sin the grace of Jesus and if you think that you can, like just read the Old Testament and some of the men and women that he used the most, what were they like? I mean, I've done a lot of bad things but I've never slept with my friend's wife, got her pregnant and then had him killed. And that guy was a man after God's own heart, according to God. That was God's favorite person. Yeah. Oh man, what would you say to someone who thinks they've ruined their life? Well, I think I just said it, you can't out sin the grace of Jesus, that God has a plan and a purpose for you. I didn't get saved until I was 46 years old and like I didn't have a resume, right? I've got two decades of, well, nine and a half years of those were in jail,

in prison and through four trips. The rest of that time was running the streets or stuck in a sober living home or trying to get it right and then back on dope and back. So it's about 25 years of nothing on my resume except chaos and madness and things that an employer would be like, get out of here. So yeah, I thought that I might've ruined my life. I didn't know that God still had a plan. I had no idea. Like I was grateful, I got a job cleaning pools and the guy gave me a truck and he gave me 800 bucks a week and man, I was happy. I was good. And I did that for two years. I met that guy on a retreat and he heard my whole story and he still wanted to hire me. And so I was so grateful and I got into that groove and then man, I wanted to serve in prisons and I finally got approved. It took two years for me to get approved and the day I got approved, I told the prison ministry pastor here, hey, put me on the gate list. I'm finally approved

and he's like, man, we just had a meeting today and they want me to hire a coordinator to help me out. I couldn't think of a better guy than you now that you're approved and you can go in. And so man, God is a God of suddenly, all right? Like suddenly things can change, man. And read the Bible and look for all the suddenlies. There's a bunch of them. He is a God of suddenly and I don't care how far you've gone. And no, you may not be able to be the CEO of a bank, okay? But you can have purpose on your life. You can have the fulfillment of being who God created you to be and being in the lane that he designed you to be in. And that's, nothing can touch that, man. And especially you go lead someone to Christ and then watch them flourish. There's not a drug that touches that. I'm telling you, I've done it all. There's not a drug that touches that. Yeah, we'll go two more. What's one lesson that you'll never forget? One lesson I'll never forget is obey God. I mean, look. No matter the cost? Yeah, no matter the cost. There was a thing that he wanted me to lay down all the way back to when I got saved.

It was, I won't get into it. It wasn't a sin, it wasn't something bad. It was just taking up a lot of my time. And he asked me to lay it down and he's asked me to lay it down and I finally laid it down about six months ago. Finally just had enough and laid it down about six months ago. And I'm seeing, and I'm just. God, why didn't I lay that down back then? I remember when I was riding the bicycle around Dallas when I first got here, man, I would have these moments on that, God would speak to me on that bicycle, man. I would have so many revelations, listening to worship music, just riding around Dallas, Texas, trying not to get killed, but that was something that he asked me to lay down when I was riding a bicycle back there, and I just did it like six months ago. It's not that big of a deal, but it just takes up a lot of my time. And I knew that, I knew that, I knew that he asked me to do that, but I just never really thought it was that big of a deal. I finally laid it down. I would say, man, the sooner you can obey, the better. Like God is not have a, he's not trying to make you miserable

or make your life difficult or make things hard. He's trying to give you freedom. He's trying to give, clear some things out of the way so that he can bring new things. He wants to close the door so he can open a new one, but he'll wait on us, man, all the way. Yeah, so what is one thing that you feel like a lot of Christians don't do that could just spark incredible transformation, like an action step that they could do? I would say fasting and praying in the spirit. Tongues, we'll just say it. Listen, man, it's in the Bible. And I went on a retreat and they talked about that. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the gift, to give you a prayer language, and then open your mouth. And that's what happened for me. And I've heard person after person after person talking about praying in the spirit and how important that is to you. And then the fasting, man, breakthroughs in fasting. I mean, I can tell you the last time I did it, it was a couple of months ago. I did five days water fast. It was terrible. It was horrible. It was in a time I was extremely busy. He put it on my heart to do it. I delayed, I delayed, I delayed. I ran into a person at a prayer meeting here

and she was talking about how she just fasted. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is God confirming. And she's like, yeah, you better do it. So I did it that day. And it was a horrible five days. I was wanting to spend all this time with God and get all these revelations, right? And all this breakthrough. It wasn't that. But afterwards, there was a peace that came. There was a peace that came in one of the most busiest trying times of the year, really. And I was obedient. And so I think that that's something a lot of people do. Listen, if you've got a stronghold or a struggle in your life, there's a scripture where they're trying to cast a demon out of somebody, out of a kid. I don't know exactly where it is, but the disciples couldn't do it, but Jesus did it. And he said, this kind only comes out by prayer and fasting. Which tells me that maybe there's some certain revelations he wants to give you that you can only get from prayer and fasting. Or maybe there's some strongholds in your life that won't be broken except by prayer and fasting. Like there's some things that might require fasting. But no one wants to do that. And it's not fasting social media. According to the Bible, it's food, man.

You don't eat. You deny your flesh, right? You tell your flesh, I control what goes in here. Yeah. I think another one that has been key for me, number one is praying in the spirit. I mean, the moment I started praying in tongues, radical transformation on the inside. Like things inside of me that I didn't even know I needed healing from started to get healed. Just incredible courage that came, incredible strength, incredible, just incredible mentality that came. And I deal with no anxiety today. I deal with no depression. I deal with, I'm not nervous about a single thing anymore. Even whenever we go into prison, I go up to speak. I used to be rattled. And now I'm not nervous at all. So praying in the spirit is key. But also I think another one that's really underrated is, for me, I grew up extremely insecure. I was told, or I believe that I wasn't good enough. Nobody would ever believe me. I would never do anything major. And those are all just lies from the enemy. And one of the things that I came across was declaring truth over yourself. And I came across this neuro study that it literally said that whatever you, if you speak something,

if you speak something, it's neutral. Whether you speak something good or bad, if you say it enough, you'll believe it, even if it's a lie. And we know the enemy is a liar and he's the father of lies. And so if a lie is that powerful that it can lead us down a path where we can get incarcerated or we can tend to believe things that God doesn't say about us, then how much more powerful is the word of God that we speak over? Absolutely. Well, I came across this one pastor, his name is Toby Slough, and he said that he struggled with a lot of the same things. So he has these 40 I Am cards, and I gave this out to a bunch of guys at Buster Cole, but it's just 40 simple statements about who I am, who God says I am. And whether I believe it or not, it doesn't matter. It's, when I speak it out, I believe it now. I didn't always believe it. But- Because words create worlds. Words create worlds. The Bible says in, I think it's Proverbs 18, 21, the tongue has a power of life and death in it. And so, these are just simple.

I mean, I can't give these to you now, but I would encourage you to just look for the truth of what the word of God says, and whether you believe it or not, to speak it out over yourself. I would read a couple of them, just for example, and then you can find your own in the Bible. That would be a good way to get you in the word. And then you can write them down, maybe on the back of a legal pad, that little cardboard thing. Yeah, so this one is, I am not who I was. Simple. And I always write down the verse that goes with it. So, the verse is Romans 12, 1. 12, 1 and 12, 1 and 2. I beseech you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present yourselves as a living sacrifice that's holy and acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And here it is. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So, I'm transformed by the way that I think. I'm transformed. And another one is, I am invited to his table. Just simple truths. Second Peter 1.4. I'm not gonna read it, because it's pretty long.

I am not being punished. Galatians 3.13. I am not living in the darkness. Colossians 1.13. And so, just find little truths about who God says you are. And I would even say, the ones that you don't believe the most in that moment, I would challenge you to speak those out, even the ones that you don't believe. Because whenever you speak things out, it's not hypocrisy, it's called faith. Jesus didn't speak to the storm and say, I mean, Jesus didn't think, and he was in that moment with the storm, and with the disciples, and he didn't just think something. He didn't feel something. He spoke, peace be still, and creation obeyed him. Now, I'm not saying creation is gonna obey me and you, but I am saying that our words have nuclear power to change our perspective. It literally creates a new neural pathway in our mind. And if we say something over and over and over and over again, then we will start to believe that. And what you believe, you will ultimately live out. I looked up the Greek word for believe in John 3.16, and it's the word pisteo, and it carries a connotation of continual action, meaning that whatever you truly believe, you will live out. And if you don't live it out, you don't actually believe it.

That's good. Yeah. When I got back here, Pastor John gave me some declarations to speak over my life. Some days I did it, some days I didn't. Then I took the free indeed ministry here, and they have a list of declarations. I took those, I laminated them. I have them stuck on my shower wall. I know you guys like to stick some things to your shower wall sometimes. These are some declarations. They're stuck there, and every time I'm in the shower, I just read them over my life out loud, spoken word out loud. And I've got like 50 of them laminated at my desk. I give them out to people, take them into our Overcomers Recovery Group, anyone that wants those. The spoken word is important, man. Yeah. Well, man, I hope this was a blessing for each of you guys. Yeah, man. We love you guys. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, we love you guys. So hope this reached the people that the Lord wanted it to reach. Let's just pray and bless you guys out. Would you pray for us? Sure, Heavenly Father, we just thank you.

I thank you for all the men and women that you're drawing to you. Your word says that no one comes to the Father unless he is drawn. And I think that it's evidenced just by the fact that they've clicked on this video today that you're after them. And I've got a mentor that tells me, hey, man, when God's after you, I doubt you're gonna get away. And so, guys, God, I just pray that all these men and women would see that you're after them, and that it's fruitless to try to get away, that they would just submit, that they would just give you their yes right now in this moment, and that they would deny themselves, God, and that they would lay down all the things that are coming between them and a relationship with you. God, I just pray for their families. God, I just pray that you would be a provider for them while they're gone. I pray that you would just make a way, God, to get them into whatever class they need, to get them into whatever ministry at the facility that they're at that they need. God, I just pray that you would bless them to overflowing. Let them know sometime this week, have a moment with your Holy Spirit in their heart,

and let them know that you. love them, how much you love them, that they were worthy of dying for, and that no one has gone too far, that even on their worst days, you look down from heaven and said, that's my beloved, and they're worthy of dying for, and that they would see that, and they would get up out of the pig pen, and that they would turn towards you, God. I just ask that anything that we've said that's not of you would just fall to the ground powerless, and that the seeds that are from you, God, that you would just bring the increase, God, in Jesus' name, amen. Amen. So we'll be looking for more of these. We're gonna try to do one every month. We're gonna bring some guests in, and try to have some fun with it. Yeah, and I'm not sure if you guys have an ability to leave comments or not, but sometimes we get comments on Pando. So any questions you may have, any feedback that you guys have, anything you want us to talk about, just drop a comment if you can. Because on our end of Pando, we can't drop a comment, so I don't, we were actually surprised to see that. But we do see some comments.

I don't know what facilities get to do that, but if you want to drop a comment, we would love to address whatever you have. And we love you guys. Love you guys, see you. Whose house? God's house. Let's give him some praise.