Guard Your Marriage - Herbert & Tiffany Cooper

Jesus came so lost people could be saved. This church is not a cruise ship where we lay by the pool. This is a battleship and for 23 years we've been on mission for Jesus. For 23 years we've been worshipping Jesus, preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ, reaching lost people, baptizing people, helping people know God and grow in God, discover a purpose and make a difference. We've been on the mission of Jesus. For one reason, to see more changed lives. Welcome to People's Church everyone. Hey, we'll just invite you to stand to your feet. Let's worship the Lord together. How many are grateful for His grace? Come on, let's sing this out. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found. Was blind, but now I see. Singing hallelujah, there's no change for me. Thank you Jesus, you have set me free. You welcomed me in, called me by name. Was dead in my sin, now I'm dancing on that grave. Hallelujah, it really is amazing grace. Hallelujah, it was grace that taught my heart to fear. And grace my fears relieved. How precious did that grace appear. The hour I first believed. Singing hallelujah, there's no change for me. Thank you Jesus, you have set me free. You welcomed me in, called me by name. Was dead in my sin, now I'm dancing on that grave. Hallelujah, it really is amazing grace. Hallelujah. I'll testify of what He did. He gave me life, I'm born again. My heart is free, my soul is saved.

It really is amazing grace. I'll testify of what He did. He gave me life, I'm born again. My heart is free, my soul is saved. It really is amazing grace. It really is, it really is. It really is amazing grace. It really is, it really is. It really is amazing. Hallelujah, there's no change for me. Thank you Jesus, you have set me free. You welcomed me in, called me by name. Was dead in my sin, now I'm dancing on that grave. Hallelujah, it really is amazing grace. Come on, if you're thankful for His grace. Put your hands together. Celebrate Jesus. Oh, we thank you, God. We thank you for your grace. Hallelujah. I saw Satan fall like lightning. I saw darkness run for cover. But the miracle that I just can't get over, my name is registered in heaven. Come on, sing. I believe in signs and wonders. I have resurrection power. Still the miracle that I just can't get over, my name is registered in heaven. My praise belongs to you forever. Come on, somebody testify, say.

This is my testimony from death to life. Because grace rewrote my story, I testify. By Jesus Christ the righteous, I'm testifying. This is my testimony. This is my testimony. Yes. Oh, this is my testimony. Come on, sing. Come together, sons and daughters. Hallelujah. Barfed with blood and washed in water. Sing the praises of the Spirit, Son and Father. Our God will finish what he started. Yes. Our God will finish what he started. This is my testimony from death to life. Because grace rewrote my story, I testify. By Jesus Christ the righteous, I'm testifying. This is my testimony. This is my testimony. Oh, this is my testimony. Hallelujah. Come on, sing. If I'm not dead, you're not done. Hallelujah. The greater things are still to come. Oh, I believe. If I'm not dead, you're not done. The greater things are still to come. Oh, I believe.

If I'm not dead, you're not done. Oh. The greater things are still to come. Oh, I believe. If I'm not dead, you're not done. The greater things are still to come. Oh, I believe. Oh, I believe. This is my testimony from death to life. Because grace rewrote my story, I'll testify. By Jesus Christ the righteous, I'm justified. This is my testimony. This is my testimony. This is my testimony from death to life. Because grace rewrote my story, I'll testify. By Jesus Christ the righteous, I'm justified. This is my testimony. This is my testimony. I'd like to invite our prayer team to come forward at this time. We are a church that believes in the power of prayer. And if you have a need today, I believe it matters to God. No matter how big or how small it is, God wants to turn it around for you. Come on, will you step out of your seat. If you have a prayer need and you would like prayer, you can step out as we sing this next song. I'm praying God will come and turn this thing around. God, turn it around. God, turn it around.

God, turn it around. God, turn it around. I'm calling on the name that changes everything. God, turn it around. God, turn it around. God, turn it around. God, turn it around. All of my hope is in the name, the name of Jesus. Breakthrough will come, come in the name, the name of Jesus. I'm praying God come and turn this thing around. God turn it around. God turn it around. God turn it around. I'm calling on the name that changes everything. God turn it around. God turn it around. God turn it around. All of my heart is in the name, the name of Jesus. Breakthrough will come, come in the name, the name of Jesus. God turn it around. God turn it around. God turn it around. God turn it around. God turn it around. God turn it around. He is up to something. God is doing something right now. He is up to something. God is doing something right now He is healing someone.

He is saving someone. God is doing something right now He is healing someone. He is saving someone. God is doing something right now He is moving mountains, making a way for someone. God is doing something right now He is moving mountains, making a way for someone God is doing something right now He is moving mountains, making a way for someone God is doing something right now He is moving mountains, making a way for someone God is doing something All of my hope is in the name The name of Jesus A breakthrough will come Come in the name The name of Jesus All of my hope is in the name The name of Jesus A breakthrough will come Come in the name The name of Jesus God, turn it around God, turn it around God, turn it around

God, turn it around God, turn it around God, turn it around Come on, if you believe He's gonna turn it around for you Come on, will you just put your hands together Oh God, we believe you're gonna turn it around In our families, you're gonna turn it around In our finances, you're gonna turn it around In our relationships, God Oh, we just trust you We put our hope in you, God Yes, Jesus Christ is my fine foundation The rock on which I stand When everything around me is shaking I've never been more glad That I put my faith in Jesus He's never let me down He's faithful through generations So why would He fail now? He won't Come on, if you believe that Oh, somebody make some noise in this place Yes I've still got joy in chaos I've got peace that makes no sense So I won't be going under I'm not held by my own strength Cause I built my life on Jesus He's never let me down

He's faithful through every season So why would He fail now? He won't, yes, come on He won't, oh, He won't He won't fail He won't fail He won't, no He won't, yes He won't fail He won't fail Oh, you never fail God And you never will How many of you know that to be true in your life? You've seen Him, He's come through Time and time again If that's the case, will you just lift your hands? Come on, just look at all these testimonies All across this space You can trust God Come on, will you sing? Rain Rain came with blue My house was built on you I'm safe, safe now I'm safe with you I'm gonna make it through Rain came with blue, sing Rain came with blue My house was built on you And I'm safe with you

I'm gonna make it Come on, somebody testify today, sing Rain came with blue My house was built on you And I'm safe with you I'm gonna make it Come on, sing this in faith I'm gonna make it I'm gonna make it through I'm standing strong on you, yeah I'm gonna make it through My house was built on you, yeah I'm gonna make it through I'm standing strong on you I'm gonna make it through My house was built on you, yeah Christ is my first foundation The right home which I stand When everything around me is shaken I've never been more delighted And I put my faith in Jesus He's never let me down He saved a good generation So I will keep them now He won't go He won't go He won't fail He won't fail He won't Sing, rain came with blue

My house was built on you I'm safe with you I'm gonna make it through Rain came with blue Say, rain came with blue My house was built on you I'm safe with you I'm gonna make it through I just wonder today, some of you may have gotten some news this week Like, what I love about church is There are people that have had the best week of their lives And how many of you would just give God praise for the week that you've had? Has somebody got a promotion? Somebody, somebody, uh, the bills came through God showed up in a miraculous way contrast it can be somebody's best day and then it's somebody's worst day at the same time somebody got a diagnosis they were not expecting or maybe there's a situation in your finances that have just been difficult and you haven't figured out a way but what I love about it is no matter what when your faith is anchored in Christ it's firm so you don't have to be tossed by the storms of life and when you have a high it doesn't have to be like extremely high and then the next week something bad happens and you're down in the dumps because God is consistent and he loves you no matter whether you had a good week or you had a bad week as they used to say back in the day he's the God of the mountains and he's the God of the valleys and no matter where you're at he still deserves all the praise so I just wonder today how many of you will give him praise on the mountaintop how many of you will give him praise in the valley is he worthy is he worthy is he worthy if he's worthy come on will you will you put your hands up will you put your hands up all over this room and we're gonna sing you are worthy of it all come on sing you are you are worthy of it all come on church you are worthy of it all come on lift it up come on lift your voices

come on come on somebody say day and night come on day and night day and night you are all lift your voices you deserve the glory come on he's worthy of it all God is worthy of all of our praise he's worthy of all the glory we worship him today father we come before you right now God and we just proclaim in our hearts that you are worthy of all praise and God I pray right now that you would meet every single need that is represented here by your power we thank you and we pray this in the mighty name of Jesus amen come on can we worship God one more time you're worthy Jesus we worship you well people's church before you're seated we are a friendly church so if you would turn to two to three people around you shake their hands and welcome them to people's church well welcome to people's church my name is Josh Haney and I'm an associate pastor here at the Oklahoma City campus and whether you're joining us online or in person we are family, People's Church, we saw God move in a mighty way during Revival Nights. It was so powerful. I can't put into words all that God did in this short recap video. Can't capture everything that God did in the lives of those at Revival Nights, but I want to give you a glimpse of everything that God did. Check out this video. One thing I have learned to do is linger longer for God. There are moments where you have to press in, lean in to the presence of God. Your purpose is calling you. Wake up. Your future is greater than your past. Wake up. God said, this is your time to stop sleeping. Our diversity is not division. It is the beauty of the worship of the gathered church. It's not about the stuff. It's about the son. It's not about what he gives you. It's about his presence. Oh, please today, don't bow at the altar of convenience. I want to give just one

more opportunity to join the 65 or 70 people getting water baptized tonight. This is what it's all about. People saying yes to Jesus and going public for Jesus. They told me, don't you end this service yet, pastor. More people are still getting water baptized. I can't end yet. Who else? Get on out there. Go public. Revival! Revival! In the name of the Father, in the name of the Son, in the name of the Holy Spirit! Come on church, let's thank God for what he did during Revival Nights. God is doing something truly special at our church. We're not just praying for revival. We're living it every single week at church and every single night during Revival Nights. We saw God save people, set people free. We saw God baptize people in water, fill them with the Holy Spirit, and also transform their lives in only ways that he can do. May we never take for granted what God is doing at People's Church. Church family, thank you for serving with passion. Thank you for praying prayers of faith and giving generously. Because of your faithfulness, we are living in revival and we know as a church our best days are in front of us. Come on church, the best is yet to come for People's Church. We believe it. Father, we thank you so much for what you're doing in our church and for the lives that were transformed and saved. Father, we give you glory. We pray, Father, what you started would continue, Father, to spread throughout this world. We thank you and we pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen. We're kicking off a brand new series titled Building Better Relationships. In this series, we're going to talk about how to date, building better relationships in dating and in parenting and in friendship. What do you do with people that are on your last nerve? How do you handle them? We're going to talk about so much in this series. Today, I asked Tiffany, my beautiful wife of almost 29 years, to team teach with me for week one of this series. Church family, we love investing in your lives and in your relationships and we count it such an honor to pastor this great church. We just feel so honored. I want to tell you, we are so excited about this new series that we are starting, Building Better Relationships. No matter where you are in your relationships, whether it's dating, marriage, parenting, friendship, work

relationships, your relationships can get better. And I know, I know some of you are doubting that today. And you're thinking, well, you don't know my parents. And you don't know my spouse. You don't know my friends. You don't know my coworkers. But in this series, we are going to give you biblical tools that will help you build better relationships. And we want faith to arise in you to believe that your relationships can get better. You don't have to stay stuck. If your relationships get better, your life gets better. So today we wanna talk about marriage getting better. And it doesn't matter if you've been married six months or 60 years, your marriage can get better. And singles, don't tune us out, okay? Because many of the tools that we're teaching today will help you in your relationships. So lean in. Everybody say lean in. We're gonna get better at relationships today. These principles will apply in so many areas of your relational life. So let's dive in. I'm curious, how many basketball fans do we have in the house today? Come on, any basketball fans? All right, all right. That's about half of you that are basketball fans.

I love watching basketball. I remember falling in love with basketball back in the 1980s with Magic Johnson and Larry Bird and seeing Kareem Abdul-Jabbar shoot that sky hook. Come on, anybody remember that sky hook? He could work that sky hook. I remember watching the toughness of the Detroit Pistons with Isaiah Thomas and the Bad Boys. I remember the dominance of Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls in the 1990s. But my favorite all-time basketball moment and memory was when the Oklahoma City Thunder won the NBA championship. Come on. My oldest son, Kel, and I attended game seven when we won the championship. Check this out. Game seven, the 2020 NBA championship. Come on, what a win. Let's do it again this year, Thunder. Tiffany and I, we love basketball. We both played basketball growing up. Matter of fact, here's a picture of me in junior high and we woke up middle school. Come on, come on, come on now. Check out some rolled up socks. Come on, come on. Ah, I know what you thinking, that brother's a baller. Come on, somebody. That's Baby Jordan right there

is what they called me, Baby Jordan. Church, I promise you, if I knew him in middle school, I would have had the biggest crush on him, even with his rolled socks, I promise it. But it's true, I loved basketball. I played countless hours of basketball in elementary school, junior high, and high school. And I have a picture of me my freshman year of high school. Okay, I don't look intimidating, I know that. But I was scrappy. Baller, y'all, that's a baller right there. But I was scrappy and I would sacrifice my body to get the ball. And when I think of great defenders, I think of the one and only Gary Payton. Now, Gary Payton, who is one of the greatest defenders in NBA history, was called the glove because he defended his opponents so closely, it was like wearing a glove. And his opponents hated when he was guarding them because he constantly put pressure on the ball. And great defenders understand if they don't guard well, the other team is going to score and they're going to lose. They must guard the other team to win. And the Bible talks a lot about the importance of guarding our lives so the enemy of our soul doesn't win against us. Proverbs 4.23 says, above all else, guard your heart.

First Corinthians 16.13, be on your guard, stand firm in the faith. Proverbs 13.3, whoever guards his mouth, preserves his life. Everybody say guards. The Bible has a lot to say about guard, guard, guard. Luke chapter 12, verse 15, Jesus said, watch out, be on your. Guard against all kinds of greed. First Timothy chapter six, verse 20. Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care. Malachi chapter two, verse 15 and 16. These are the key verses we're gonna teach from today. It says, has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring, so be on your guard and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. The man who hates and divorces his wife, says the Lord, the God of Israel, does violence to the one he should protect, says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard and do not be unfaithful. Malachi tells us twice to guard our marriage. And if we're not careful as Christ followers, we can spend all of our energy guarding our careers, guarding our kids, guarding our busy schedules, guarding our hobbies, guarding our friendships, but not guarding our marriage. And if we don't guard our marriage,

we lose at what matters most. Most marriages are not destroyed because love disappeared. They're destroyed because something was not guarded. God help us to never let the person we once pursued passionately become the one we guard casually. We must aggressively guard our marriages. Tiffany and I, we wanna help all of us take guarding our marriage to the next level today. As Tiffany said just a little earlier, no matter if you've been married for just six months or you've been married for 60 years, you can take guarding your marriage to a new level. First, guard your marriage from pettiness. The NBA great Kevin Durant. Boo! I know, I'm sorry. He said that Tony Allen was the toughest defender he ever faced. He said he is so great because of his physicality and his intense defensive mentality. Tony Allen guarded every possession like it mattered because games are lost one possession at a time. So great defenders don't take possessions off. They guard every possession and marriage is the same way. Marriages start to break down when we take possessions off and allow pettiness to creep in and erode the connection we have with our spouse. The enemy of marriage is often not one major betrayal but minor irritations multiplied over time.

Song of Solomon warns us in Song of Solomon 2.15, catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love. Pettiness is a little fox that ruins the vineyard of love. Small things can destroy big love. And most marriages don't collapse because of one big moment. They erode from a thousand unguarded ones. And Herbert and I have had unguarded moments in our marriage. I remember when we were newlyweds and we thought it would be really fun to go to our friend's apartment and play a card game. But it didn't take long before the trash talking started and before sharp looks were pointed at each other from across the table. And to make it worse, we were playing guys versus girls and the guys were winning and I was hot. I was so frustrated with Herbert's big loud mouth. I did not wanna see his face. I did not wanna hear one more word. And we got in the car that night and we drove home looking out opposite sides of the car windows. And unfortunately, that wasn't the only card game we fought about in our marriage. I wish we could say we didn't spend another couple days angry at each other over something so petty, but we did. And pettiness found its way out of the card game and into my suitcase. I remember one day sitting on the floor next to my suitcase with tears running down my face

as I slowly put clothes in the suitcase. I had been preparing for our young family to visit my family for Christmas, something that I really looked forward to. And Herbert and I, just like so many. before, started to fight about petty things that didn't matter. And we were fighting over these things. We lived in Oklahoma, my family lived in Nebraska, and so I was so excited to spend time with my family. And my excitement frustrated Herbert because he said that I was a different person when I was around my family, and he didn't like that version of me. And I was crushed. And I didn't take time to ask him why he thought I was different. I was just so hurt and I was so sad. I remember thinking, I don't even want to go to my parents house anymore. And then I was mad that he would say something like that to me because I felt like he was different around his family too. And it was petty thought after petty thought that was creeping in and eroding our connection little by little. It's the little foxes and Tiffany and I stand here today. We don't have a perfect marriage and we've made a lot of mistakes and it's amazing how the little foxes can begin to destroy and erode a marriage and connection. And some of you can relate to our pettiness because you're allowing little foxes to ruin the vineyard of your love. Pettiness is creating distance in your marriage. If you're honest, oftentimes it's silly stuff that's hurting your marriage. You're spending your energy arguing about who left the lights on? You're arguing about who turned down the dirt thermostat? Why didn't you replace the toilet paper roll? You know you got to put the toilet paper roll on right. Come on, how many of you know there's a right way to put it on? Come on, somebody, huh? Not under, it's over. Come on, somebody, it's over. Don't nobody got time to be working up under that thing like nobody got time for all of that? Don't make me argue and fuss with you today. Hey, arguing over stupid stuff. Why are you on your phone so much? You're fighting over the kids' little league practice schedule. You're angry at each other over an errand that did not get accomplished. You're fighting about the

47 Amazon packages that got delivered on your front porch yesterday. And if you're not careful, little foxes, dumb stuff will start creating distance in your marriage. And Tiffany and I have learned over the years, strong marriages are not built on winning arguments but on guarding unity. Sometimes guarding unity means I have to tell myself this. I talk to myself. I'll call myself by my name. And some days I got to do it. I'll say, Herbert Lee Cooper Jr., this is not worth the fighting over. Herbert Lee Cooper Jr., you're irritated but shut up. Don't you say that to Tiffany? Herbert Lee Cooper Jr., you're frustrated. Be quiet, boy. Don't you say, oh, I want to tell her. You know what she did. I can't believe she did. No, don't you say that, Herbert. Don't be condescending. Don't be rude. Don't say something stupid. Don't create distance in your marriage. I had to learn this. I had to learn this. Most small things are not worth fighting about and causing distance in your marriage. Guard your life and marriage from pettiness. Number two, guard your marriage from priority drift. Malachi says, God is seeking godly offspring from our marriages. For our marriages to accomplish God's plan, they must stay aligned with God's priorities. And God's priorities, they don't happen by accident. We don't casually drift into God's priorities. We must practice them. If we don't practice priorities, are they really priorities? Practicing priorities is a big deal to God. Philippians 4.9, whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me, put it into practice. 1 Timothy 4.15, practice these things, immerse yourself in them so that all may see your progress. Everybody shout, practice. The Bible doesn't just want us to talk, it wants us to practice our faith. Hebrews 5.14, but solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. 2 Peter 1.10, therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election for if you practice these qualities, you will never fall. The NIV version says you will never stumble. What does Peter tell us to practice?

Well, if you go up just several verses earlier, verses five through seven, he tells us to add to our faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, and love. And if we practice these qualities in our life, our marriages will thrive and never fail. When I think about practice, I think about my boy, the NBA legend, Allen Iverson, and the video clip I showed you earlier this year. We sitting here, I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we in here talking about practice. I mean, listen, we talking about practice. Not a game, not a game, not a game. We talking about practice. Not a game, not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it's my last, not the game. We talking about practice, man. I mean, how silly is that, man? We talking about practice. I know I supposed to be there. I know I supposed to lead by example. I know that, and I'm not shoving it aside like it don't mean anything. I know it's important. I do, I honestly do. But we're talking about practice, man. What are we talking about? Practice. We talking about practice, man.

We talking about practice. Man, come on, y'all. We talking about, we talking about practice. Come on, man, we talking about practice. Pastor up there, talking about date nights. Come on, we ain't talking about practice. You're just talking about pettiness and communication. You're just up there talking about practice. Allen Iverson was a pro basketball player. He knew all about shooting free throws. He knew all about dribbling. He had that lethal crossover, pull-up, jumper. It wasn't that he did not know how to do those things. The issue was he did not want to keep putting in the work so he could keep getting better. And in marriage, most people know what to do. They just stop practicing. Marriages don't fail because people don't know better. They fail because people quit doing better. They stop practicing. And if you don't practice, priorities drift. Here are some things that Herbert and I practice in our marriage so that it remains strong. We practice weekly date nights on Thursdays. We practice calendar and budget planning together. We practice sex once or twice a week. Amen. We practice taking a yearly vacation together without the kids and a couple of overnight trips together with no kids.

We practice hugging each other every morning and evening when we first see each other. We practice telling and texting each other I love you every day. We practice communicating to stay on the same page with life and kids and church and schedules. We practice forgiving each other. And some of you find yourself drifting in marriage because you're not practicing priorities. We must practice priorities. Number three, guard your marriage from personal stagnation. Dennis Rodman, who is one of the greatest defenders and rebounders in NBA history was a janitor before he started playing ball for a small NAIA school in Oklahoma. And Dennis, he was so committed to working that in 1986, he was drafted by the Detroit Pistons and he continued to develop as a player. And in 1989, he received his first honor as an NBA defensive all-star. Not only that, he helped the Detroit Pistons to win back-to-back championships in 1989 and 1990. His personal growth transformed him from a role player to an NBA superstar. Great defenders keep evolving and so do great marriages. Sometimes the greatest threat to our marriage is our own stagnant soul. When we stop growing, our marriages stop growing. And when Herbert and I were struggling in our marriage, I remember thinking, is this as good as it's going to get?

But I wasn't ready. to give up. And we started to see improvement in our marriage when I personally grew and I stopped making Herbert the target, when I stopped playing the victim, when I became honest about the part that I played in our disconnect, and when I released the hurt that I kept holding onto and forgave him, and when I chose grace over unrealistic expectations. And above all, I chose the pain of personal growth over the pain of keeping our marriage as it was. When I grew, our marriage improved and I was able to love Herbert better. Tiffany and I know what it is to have a bad season in marriage, a horrible season in marriage. We experienced it. And in that season and even prior to that season, I spent years of our marriage trying to change Tiffany. I literally thought she was the problem in our marriage. If she would just change, our marriage would get better. I look back now and I was so immature. I was so insecure. I brought so much baggage into our marriage. I had such a wrong perspective

on what was keeping our marriage from getting better. Breakthrough came in our marriage when I stopped focusing on trying to change Tiffany and I started focusing on changing me. I grew, I started growing and I stopped being critical of Tiffany. I started to love her for how God made her. I stopped being so sharp and condescending with my tongue. I stopped arguing over stupid and dumb stuff. I dealt with my junk. I dealt with my immaturity. I got emotionally healthy. One of the best gifts that I've given my wife Tiffany is a better version of myself. And the best gift you will give your marriage is a better you. You cannot expect your marriage to grow if you're unwilling to grow. Think about this, honestly ask yourself, am I growing? Come on, I want you to be real with yourself. Am I growing? Don't think about your spouse right now. Ask yourself, am I growing in patience, in communication, in emotional maturity, in spiritual depth? Am I growing in self-awareness, in wisdom, in empathy? Am I growing in love, in kindness, in serving my spouse? Am I becoming easier to love? Am I becoming more Christ-like? The best gift you will give your marriage is a better you.

Number four, guard your marriage in painful seasons. Teams don't win an NBA championship unless they learn how to play through pain. I think about Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan when they won six championships with the Bulls. I remember one game, Michael had the flu, but he still played lights out. Championship teams have great players who learn to play when they're tired, even injured, when they're in pain. And every marriage, please hear me, every marriage will go through painful seasons. So the question is not, will your marriage go through pain? The question is, will you guard your marriage during painful seasons? And over almost 29 years of marriage, Tiffany and I have experienced a lot of painful seasons. We've experienced people pain, people that we love, that we trusted have betrayed us. We've been lied on, people making up stories on us. We've had to navigate family and friend drama. And then there's child's pain. And it's painful when your child struggles. And being pastors doesn't exclude us from this pain and from this reality. One of our children was very sick when they were young and they lost 20 pounds in a month. They missed almost two months of school. And that was a really painful season for our family. It was a scary time.

All of our children have faced challenges. They have all experienced seasons of pain and struggle. And then as Herbert said, there's marriage pain. There is a season when our marriage was in a bad place and we loved each other, but we didn't like each other very much. on our Thursday night date nights and they most of the time ended in arguments and misunderstanding and tears. In fact, I remember multiple times sitting in the car returning home to the garage and just sitting there waiting for the tears to stop so I could clear my face enough to go inside the house to pay the babysitter. It was a painful season going on those dates back in that season. We, I don't think either one of us wanted to go on dates back then, but we just kept practicing and arguing and fighting, blaming each other, pointing fingers. And here's what I've learned from painful seasons. Pain whispers dangerous thoughts. Pain will whisper, maybe you should have never gotten married. You married the wrong person. Marriage is too hard. I'm just gonna quit on this marriage. Pain will whisper to you, our marriage will never get better. I'm going to start spending time with someone who will treat me better. It'll whisper to you, I can't open up and talk to someone about my pain, about my trauma, about my marriage issues. I'm all alone. And God sent me and Tiffany here today to love you, to encourage you, and to speak this truth to you right now in your marriage. You are not alone. Your church family is here for you. We care about you. We care about your marriage. We care about your family. You have to open up and talk to someone, even do it today, open up and talk to someone. Men, get to the men's night. You know, men always want to be by themselves. I don't need no other men. I got it. No, brothers, no. No, no, get to men's night. Brothers, we need each other. We're going to eat good together, we're going to play games together and compete, and we're going to worship together, we're going to pray together and cry together, hear a word together, and have an opportunity to meet some other men and be friends so that we can talk about the real things in life. And what you're going to find out is you're

not by yourself. Everybody else got their struggle as well. On September the 13th, when we launch our fall semester of small groups, find a small group. You need a spiritual small group that will support you, that will encourage you. You are not alone. I believe this is for somebody today. Don't quit on your marriage. Don't give up because you're in the middle of pain and because you're weary. I know today that some of you have a strained and a fractured marriage. Today, would you determine in your heart that you're going to start guarding your marriage even in the middle of the pain? Tiffany and I are a living witness that your marriage can experience a turnaround and thrive. Our marriage is thriving, has been thriving for several years. You can have a thriving marriage, thriving kids, a thriving family. I'm speaking it over to you right now. I don't care where you are. Your marriage can thrive. Let the words of Malachi in verse 15 speak deeply to your heart. What does God seek? What does God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard and do not be unfaithful. Your marriage is about you, but it's bigger than you. God's plan is for your marriage to produce godly offspring. Guarding your marriage is about your children serving God and having healthy marriages and families. It's about your grandchildren, your great, great, great, great grandchildren serving God and having healthy marriages and families. It's about future generations. Your marriage is about you, but it's bigger than you. Your spouse needs you. Your kids need you. Your grandchildren, your future grandchildren need you. Your church needs you. Your city needs you. The kingdom of God needs you. My marriage to Tiffany is bigger than just us. You see, if you look through the Cooper family history, the lineage of the Cooper family, affairs ran in my family. Abuse ran in my family. Divorce ran in my family until it ran into me and I decided in Jesus' name, I'm guarding my marriage and generations of Coopers will serve Jesus because somebody said, I'm going to guard it on good days and on bad days. Your marriage is about you, but it's bigger than you. This is bigger than you, so guard your marriage. Your marriage might be in a horrible sees it right now. But God, your marriage is bigger than you. It's bigger than you. Father, thanks for speaking to hearts. Thanks for touching lives right now. Minister to couples. Speak right now, God. As your eyes are closed and you're just

locked away with Jesus. If your marriage is struggling, just open your hands up, just right in front of you. Maybe put them on your lap. You're just saying, God, I surrender my marriage, my life to you. Just open them up as I pray over you right now. Lord, you see every struggling marriage, every struggling man or woman, look, pour your spirit out right now. I pray on marriages that are ready to quit and give up. You breathe fresh hope. You speak to them right now in the middle of the pain, in the mistrust, in the fighting and arguing. God, I pray that you would breathe peace into their marriage, into their home, forgiveness and grace into their marriage and into their home. Lord, I pray, Lord, you're the God of a turnaround. And I believe you need to turn around some marriages. And I believe, Lord, that you're going to strengthen some marriages right now that are weak and pettiness is crept in. Lord, I thank you right now for touching by the power of your spirit. And as eyes are closed and heads are still bowed, I'm talking to some people who don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior. You're not right with God. You're not serving God. You're not living for God. And today is your day to say, I'm going to live for Jesus. I'm going to give Jesus my life. Somebody says, I used to live for God. I used to serve God, but I started serving me. I started living for me. And today is your day to rededicate your life to the Lord. Oh, there's somebody today that says, I don't want to go to hell. I want to go to heaven. I'm tired of serving the devil, and I want to serve Jesus. I'm tired of living for myself, and I want to live for God. If that's you, as I count to three, I'm going to ask you to shoot your hand high in the air, and I'm going to lead you in a prayer to say yes to Jesus. One, two, three. Would you lift your hand high? I said, that's me. See your hand there. See your hand there. Others said, see your hand there. See your hand there. See your hand there. So awesome. See your hand there. Just lift it high. Every location, hands are going up. Praise God for what the Lord is doing. I'm going to ask every hand that's raised right now to confess this prayer with your mouth. Believe it in your heart, and God's going to wash away your sins. Pray with me now. Heavenly Father, I turn from my sin,

and I turn to Jesus Christ. I believe he's the Son of God, died on the cross, rose again, and I place my faith, my trust, my life in Jesus Christ. Thank you for forgiving me of all of my sins. I will serve you the rest of my life. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen and amen. Come on, somebody give God praise. Come on, just remain seated just for a moment. But come on, give God your best praise for what he's doing in this house. To our first-time guests, we just want to say, welcome to People's Church. We're so glad that you're here, and you're among some of the kindest, nicest people in all of Oklahoma City. Give us a year of your life. Get plugged into church. Attend every single Sunday. Jump into GrowthTrack. Find a small group and watch what God does in and through your family. Come on, we say this every single Sunday. We say that we're family. If everybody would stand to your feet real quick. Come on, will you say it with me? We're what? We're family. Have a great Sunday.