Becoming A Better Parent | Herbert & Tiffany Cooper

Jesus came so lost people could be saved. This church is not a cruise ship where we lay by the pool. This is a battleship and for 23 years we've been on mission for Jesus. For 23 years we've been worshipping Jesus, preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ, reaching lost people, baptizing people, helping people know God and grow in God, discover a purpose and make a difference. We've been on the mission of Jesus. For one reason, to see more changed lives. I'm singing off the heaviness. I'm dancing out of my regrets. I'm throwing caution to the wind. I am not ashamed to praise thy name. Some say it's foolishness. But I say it's worth the risk. I can't forget what Jesus did. I am not ashamed to praise thy name. Where are those chains that once held me? I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free. My sin is gone, how can it be? I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free. Look at what the Lord has done. I'm never going back to the way I was. I'll sing, I'll dance, cause I'll be. I'm free, I'm free, thank God I'm free. I've got a friend, they never quit. No one loves you good as this. I don't care what anyone says. I'll never be ashamed to praise thy name. Where are those chains that once held me? I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free. My sin is gone, how can it be? I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free. Look at what the Lord has done. I'm never going back to the way I was. I'll sing, I'll dance, cause I'll be.

I'm free, I'm free, thank God I'm free. You took the cross and you broke your body. You shed your blood, now the sinner can't see. My debt is paid and my record is clean. I couldn't do it, so you did it for me. You took the cross and you broke your body. You shed your blood, now the sinner can't see. My debt is paid and my record is clean. I couldn't do it, so you did it for me. You took the cross and you broke your body. You shed your blood, now the sinner can't see. My debt is paid and my record is clean. I couldn't do it, so you did it for me. I couldn't do it, so you did it for me. I couldn't do it, so you did it for me. I couldn't do it, so you did it for me. I couldn't do it, so you did it for me. Look at what the Lord has done. I'm never going back to the way I was. Look at what the Lord has done. I'm never going back to the way I was. Look at what the Lord has done. I'm never going back to the way I was. Look at what the Lord has done. I'm never going back to the way I was. Hallelujah. Well, today, we are celebrating life changes. People follow the Lord in water baptism. You can turn your attention to my left, your right. Come on, will you put your hands together

for more Changed Lives. I'm free! I'm free! Sin was stained on me Shame was running deep But love was spilled on cavalry Oh hallelujah I'm free! God, how can it be I'm ransomed and redeemed Standing in your victory Oh hallelujah I've been washed in the water Washed in the blood I'm as good as new Oh hallelujah I've been washed in the water Washed in the blood All because of you Oh hallelujah I'm free! It's not what I have done It's what you've done for me Fading off upon that tree Oh hallelujah I'm free! Love has overcome Mercy is supreme I'm dancing in your victory Oh hallelujah

I've been washed in the water Washed in the blood I'm as good as new Oh hallelujah I've been washed in the water Washed in the blood All because of you Oh hallelujah I've been washed in the water Washed in the blood I'm as good as new Oh hallelujah I've been washed in the water Washed in the blood All because of you Oh hallelujah Cause you took away my shame And you nailed it to the cross You got me running out the gate Hallelujah, here I come Cause you took away my shame And you nailed it to the cross You got me running out the gate Hallelujah, here I come Cause you took away my shame And you nailed it to the cross Praise God I'm free! Hallelujah, here I come Cause you took away my shame

And you nailed it to the cross You got me running out the gate Hallelujah, here I come Hallelujah, here I come Hallelujah, here I come Hallelujah, here I come Hallelujah, here I come Hallelujah, here I come Hallelujah, here I come Hey! Hey! Hey! Halle-halle-Hallelujah Halle-hale-Hallelujah Halle-Halle-Hallelujah Halle-Halle-Hallelujah Halle-Halle-Hallelujah Halle-Halle-Hallelujah I've been washed in the water, washed in the blood All because of you Oh Hallelujah I've been washed in the water, washed in the blood All because of you Oh Hallelujah How many are grateful for the freedom that you have in Jesus? Are you grateful that you've been washed in the water? You've been washed in the blood and you're completely secure? Your eternity is secure How many are grateful for that? Let's just continue to worship Jesus Let's make sure that he's the center of everything in our lives All our hopes, our dreams

Come on, will you sing this out together? Yeah Maybe we've made this complicated More than it was ever meant to be Hasn't it always been about the same thing? Lord, bring us back to simple things You are the center of it all My heart belongs to you My Savior all in all You're the one I hold on to For the beautiful ♪ For the beauty of your name, my soul will live today ♪ ♪ Jesus, I love you, oh you are the center of it all ♪ ♪ My heart belongs to you, my savior of it all ♪ ♪ You're the one I hold on to, for the beauty of your name ♪ ♪ My soul will live today, Jesus I love you, oh I love you ♪ ♪ Oh I love you, Jesus I love you, oh I love you, yeah ♪ ♪ Oh I love you, Jesus I love you, oh I love you, yeah ♪ ♪ In my whole life, for your glory, my whole world ♪ ♪ For your only everything, for the honor of your name ♪ ♪ And if my days tell a story, let it be a story of love ♪ ♪ Of your only everything, for the honor of your name ♪ ♪ In my whole life, for your glory, my whole world ♪ ♪ For your only everything, for the honor of your name ♪ ♪ And if my days tell a story, let it be a story of love ♪ ♪ Of your only everything, for the honor of your name ♪ ♪ In my whole life, for your glory, my whole world ♪ ♪ For your only everything, for the honor of your name ♪ ♪ And if my days tell a story, let it be a story of love ♪ ♪ Of your only everything, for the honor of your name ♪

♪ Oh, how I love you ♪ ♪ Oh, how I love you, Jesus, I love you ♪ ♪ Oh, how I love you, yeah ♪ ♪ Oh, how I love you, Jesus, I love you, yeah ♪ Oh, we love you, Jesus. Come on, sing this out with me. ♪ Thank you, Saint, my soul ♪ ♪ My Savior God, to thee ♪ ♪ How great thou art, how great thou art ♪ ♪ How great thou art, thank you, Saint, my soul ♪ ♪ My Savior God, to thee ♪ ♪ How great thou art, how great thou art, thank you, Saint, my soul ♪ Come on, we lift your hands all across this room and sing. ♪ Thank you, Saint, my soul ♪ ♪ My Savior God, to thee ♪ How great. ♪ How great thou art, oh, how great, how great thou art ♪ Oh, we worship you today, God. ♪ Thank you, Saint, my soul ♪ ♪ My Savior God, to thee ♪ How great Thou art. Oh, how great, how great Thou art. Come on, we need those two voices. Sing it, sing it. This is my song, my Savior God, to Thee. How great Thou art, yeah. How great Thou art, yeah. This is my song, my Savior God, to Thee. How great Thou art. How great Thou art. This is my song, my Savior God, to Thee. How great Thou art. Oh, how great, how great Thou art. This is my song, my Savior God, to Thee. How great Thou art. How great Thou art.

Come on, would you give Him praise today? Come on, He's a mighty God. He's the all-powerful God. We honor You today, Lord. We give You glory. We give You honor in this place. We lift up high the name of Jesus. Father, we ask today that, Lord, You would speak to our hearts. Lord, we thank You for Your greatness. We thank You, Lord, that with You all things are possible. We love You today. Move in our midst, we pray in Jesus' name. Amen and amen. Come on, give Him praise one more time. Amen. But, church family, before you're seated, let's take the next few moments. Let's greet two or three people around us, learn some names, shake some hands. Let's connect, church. Amen. All right. Well, welcome to People's Church, everybody. Hey, my name is Rob Champion. I'm the campus pastor here at the Oklahoma City campus. Whether you're joining us online or in the house today, we are family. We're so glad to have you with us today. Do want to take a moment just to welcome all of our first-time guests. Come on, People's Church family. Could you help me welcome them today? Oh, we can do better than that. Welcome to People's Church. Well, People's Church, every time you give, you are helping to bring hope to children all around the world. Your generosity is providing food, is providing clean water, opportunities for education, and it's helping to bring the gospel to communities all around the world through the ministries that you support on a regular basis. And one of those ministries is Children's Cup. And they help to meet the real, tangible needs of families in addition to bringing them the hope of Jesus. We want you to see how your generosity is making a huge difference.

I want you to check out this video. Hey, friends, we want to celebrate an incredible few months we've just had with you at all our care points around the world. Before anything else, thank you. We've seen children take incredible steps forward in their faith. Just last week, six kids at our Dream Chasers program in Marcus Canole Care Point made decisions to follow Jesus during the teaching. And a team from the U.S. working at the San Jose Care Point Went through the community inviting the kids families to a church service and 22 of the ones who came gave their lives to Christ that night Those moments never get old And we're continuing to see the fruit of years of investment in Mexico Edvard who started coming to his care point on the first day it opened is now preparing for university to study veterinary Medicine and many has shared how learning that she is fearfully and wonderfully made changed everything for her She said that when the other kids told her she wasn't good enough. She reminded them that God had made her special Now she says she's proud of herself because she knows God made her he chose her and he loves her And as back-to-school season approaches were preparing to equip hundreds of children with the supplies uniforms and support They need for a successful school year new programs growing new spaces are opening more and more children are being reached We're celebrating a lot right now, but there's still more kids who need hope Opportunity and the chance to discover their God-given potential Thank you for being part of it all with us in giving hope inspiring dreams and changing worlds Amen praise the Lord Yeah The church I just want to say thank you for tithing and for giving your offering so that needs can be met In these children's and these families lives and so that lives can be changed, you know Every time that you give through People's Church, you are helping to impact children families and communities with the hope and the love of Jesus Christ Father we thank you for the Ministry of Children's Cup and the work that they're doing To not only meet the needs of children and families all around the world, but father to share the love of Jesus Father we pray that you would continue to bless them

That Lord they would be more fruitful as they reach more people and provide practically for needs and father Most importantly more lives would be changed by the power of Jesus Christ. We pray in your name. Amen Glory To the Lord For the Lord our God is mighty Yes, the Lord our God is omnipotent The Lord our God He is wonderful Come on Hallelujah Salvation and glory Honor and power to the Lord our God For the Lord For the Lord our God is mighty The Lord our God is omnipotent The Lord our God He is wonderful All praises be To the King A King Chant the Lord Our God He is wonderful All praises be To the King A King Chant the Lord

Our God He is wonderful All praises be A King Chant the Lord Our God He is wonderful All praises be To the King A King Chant the Lord Our God He is wonderful All praises be To the King A King Chant the Lord Our God He is wonderful All praises be To the King A King Chant the Lord Our God He is wonderful All praises be To the King A King Chant the Lord Our God

He is wonderful All praises be To the King A King Chant the Lord Our God He is wonderful All praises be To the King A King Chant the Lord Our God Hallelujah! He is wonderful All praises be Hallelujah! To the King Salvation in glory. Honor and power. He is wonderful. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Salvation in glory. Honor and power. He is wonderful. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Salvation in glory. Honor and power. He is wonderful. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Salvation in glory. Honor and power. He is wonderful. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Salvation in glory. Honor and power. He is wonderful. Hallelujah! Salvation in glory. Honor and power. He is wonderful. Come on, somebody, give Him praise! Give Him praise! Come on, alto! To all places. Come on, church!

To the King of kings. And the Lord our God. He is wonderful. To all places. Be to the King of kings. And the Lord our God. He is wonderful. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Salvation in glory. Honor and power. He is wonderful. Hallelujah! Salvation in glory. Honor and power. He is wonderful. Hallelujah! Salvation in glory. Honor and power. He is wonderful. Come on, He's wonderful. Come on, is He wonderful? Is He a wonderful Savior? Is He worthy of your praise because He's wonderful? Salvation and honor. Glory and power. Belongs to our God. Come on, give Him one more handclap of praise. Because He's wonderful. Come on, the People's Church Choir!

My goodness. They sang the pain off the wall. Thank you, choir. Some of y'all need to get in this choir. Some of you men better get on in, man. We got a choir, you all. We're singing unto the Lord today. Amen. They sung be happy. This is my fourth time preaching, but I'm still happy right now. Oh, my goodness. Well, welcome. It's good to see you. If you're a guest today, let me say a big welcome. Tiffany Cooper and I are of the Senior Pastors of People's Church and we're so glad to have you with us today and worshiping with us and just welcome and I hope if you're looking for a church home you have to look no further. You're amongst some of the most kind, friendly, loving people and we're glad to have you here on this Friends Day and let me say to my church family thank you for praying. 21 days of prayer was powerful. August we set a record this year for how many people participated in person and online. We had, you know, there was some weeks, some days throughout the week pushing 2,000 people praying and seeking God and I just thank God because I know God answers prayer so thank you for making prayer a priority at People's Church. Our youth service, God's moving. We had at our Big Bash this last Wednesday night we had over 1,100 people in attendance. God is moving and touching the next generation and it's just big things to come in our next generation. Well we are in a series, if you're new with us today, titled Building Better Relationships. How many of you would agree with me that relationships are hard? There's six of you. I said how many would agree with me that relationships are hard? They're hard and so we're

learning biblical tools to help us build better relationships in marriage, in dating, in friendship, in parenting and even how to navigate difficult relationships. Your relationships do not have to stay stuck. They can improve and my goal for this series is for your relationships to get better because when your relationships get better, your life gets better. In the last two weeks we've talked about building better marriages. Next Sunday, parents, grandparents, please please get your teenagers and young adults to church next Sunday. Students and young adults, please get your friends to church next Sunday, August the 30th. It's student Sunday. We'll have a DJ in the lobby so some of the campuses will have a drum line, a marching band. Hallways will be decorated with decor representing your school. Everyone, even adults, everyone wear your Letterman jacket that you got from high school. Bring your Letterman jackets and parents, grandparents, I can't encourage you enough to get your teens and young adults to church next Sunday. I'm going to preach a message next Sunday that's going to profoundly impact, going to shape, going to challenge the next generation. Be here and get this place full of the next generation. Today, my lovely bride Tiffany is joining me and together we're going to talk about becoming better parents. Come on, would you give it up for the love of my life right here. Tiffany's joining me and this message that we're going to teach today is going to help you no matter how old your children are. It's going to help some of you one day when you have kids in the future. It's going to set you up. And no matter where you are in life, you may be like, Pastor, my kids are 99 years old, I don't have kids, don't ever plan on having kids. We're going to share some life principles that will help you have better relationships. So lean in, don't miss what God has for you right now. Tiffany and I, in December, will be married for 29 years and we have four kids and here's a picture of our family. Our oldest, Kel, is 22 years old and then Cade is 21 years old and Karis is 20 years old and our youngest, Case, is 18 years old. And today is our daughter's 20th birthday. She's no longer a teenager, she's 20. Can you give it up? Show some love to my daughter, Karis Cooper. We love you, baby girl. She's in

Florida right now in college celebrating baby. You celebrate your birthday hard for the Lord, in Jesus' name. Amen. She's going to celebrate for the Lord. That girl loves Jesus. I still remember the day when my oldest child was born, Kel. It was December of 2003 with that Christmas hat on and I officially became a dad. Some of you dads can relate. I was scared. I thought I was going to fail at being a dad. And parenting is such a crazy thing because there are thousands of resources to help you prepare during the pregnancy stage and then, boom, your child arrives and the nurse tells you it's time to take your newborn baby home. and suddenly everything feels so real and a little bit overwhelming. On top of that, the hospital doesn't send you home with a book for every answer to every question or every solution for every scenario. And it doesn't take long to realize that we have a lot to learn. And our goal for this message today is not for you to be perfect parents because perfect parents don't exist. And our goal is not to highlight all the ways that you're falling short because we all fall short. Our goal for this message is to encourage and equip parents and those of you who are still to become parents to believe that you can become a better parent. So today we wanna focus on one word. And this one word will not only impact your life as a parent, it'll impact your life no matter what season of life that you're in. This one word has power in it

to shape your life in a very deep way. Today I wanna, my wife and I wanna give you one overarching principle. One key that will undoubtedly make all of us better parents, better human beings. And that one word is purpose. Everybody shout purpose. Purpose. Parenting is purposeful. Meaning it's full of purpose. According to Webster's Dictionary, purpose is the reason something is done. Parents, you have a purpose whether your children are small kids or whether they're middle-aged adults. We want you to hear that today, to hear it and believe it. You have a purpose in parenting. The purpose of godly parenting is not to raise well-behaved children and adults. Although that's a good thing. The purpose is not even to raise successful children which is also a good thing. And I hope that your children, I hope that your grandchildren are successful in life. But that's not the ultimate purpose. Jesus said it like this in Mark chapter eight in verse 36. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world yet forfeit their soul? The purpose of parenting can't be just for your kids

to get a degree or to get a good job or to make a lot of money or to have a successful career because what good is it for our children to gain the whole world and to lose their own soul? It's no good at all. The purpose of parenting is for us to raise children who know, love, and serve the Lord. If your children are adults, your purpose is to help your children and grandchildren to live their lives, to honor the Lord. A key verse for today's teaching is Proverbs chapter 22 in verse number six. It says, train up a child in the way they should go. Purpose. Even when he or she is old, they will not depart from it. God has entrusted our children to us to raise, to disciple, to train, to love, and to point them toward Jesus. There's purpose in parenting. Today we want to highlight three keys for purposeful parenting. The first key is parent with purpose. With is a function word to indicate a participant in an action. So if I'm shopping with Herbert, we're shopping together. When I walk with Herbert, we're walking together. Anything I do with Herbert, we are doing it together. And when I parent with purpose, we are parenting together. Parenting with purpose makes us better parents. So here are three ways purpose makes us better.

First, purpose gives us the why. From an early age, I wanted to be a wife and mother. And that dream came true when I married Herbert and we had our first son. But something about motherhood surprised me. And it wasn't the sleepless nights. It wasn't the spit up or the dirty diapers. It wasn't that my time was no longer my own. It wasn't even the enormous amount of love that I felt for my son. The thing that surprised me is that my dream came true and instead of being content, I questioned my purpose. When I was a teacher, I had clear targets. When we started People's Church, the work felt so important. Even my first jobs in. in high school and college had clear wins. But when I became a mother, I started to question my worth. I started to question, am I making a difference in the world at all? How was changing diapers and feeding schedules and soothing a crying baby important? I felt so unsettled because I didn't know the why. And there's a short but powerful quote that sums up the why. Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise. Powerful. This truth shifted something inside of me and God in his kindness helped me to understand

that being a mother was a high calling. It was a ministry to my family that God had entrusted my children to me to raise in godliness. Dads and moms, being a parent is a high calling. When we parent with purpose, our why is to help our children know God. Everybody say purpose. Purpose. Parenting with purpose helps us establish the right priorities. Stephen Covey said the key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities. Because you can fill your calendar full of meetings, activities, practices, work events, ball games, birthday parties, and go 100 miles an hour doing all kinds of things. But without purpose that leads to the right priorities, you're just staying busy. Busy without purpose and the right priorities will point your kids in a dangerous direction. You can train your kids in a direction they should not go. That's why your priorities are so important. We all have priorities. The question is whether you have the right priorities that will lead your kids in the right direction. Priorities only reinforce purpose. Wrong purpose equals wrong priorities. Wrong purpose equals wrong priorities. If your purpose is for your child to be successful,

your priorities will reinforce that. You'll put an emphasis on accomplishments, grades, social connections, and God might be a nice addition, but he's not the priority. If your purpose is for your child to be the next athletic star, your priorities will reinforce that. You'll spend a lot of time and money to be on the teams. You'll hire special trainers. You'll travel from city to city for tournaments, and God might be a nice addition, but he's not the priority. If your purpose is for your child to know God and to live for him, your priorities will reinforce that. You'll spend time praying together as a family, studying, talking about the Bible, attending church, and serving at church will be a priority. Being in a small group and having your children at Wednesday night youth services will be a priority. Why? Because you know your purpose is to help your children to know God and to live for God. I like what Deuteronomy says in Deuteronomy chapter number six and verse six. It says these commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Parents, first God's commandments, God's word, God's priorities have to be on our hearts. Then he says impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home

and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up, when your purpose is for your child to know God, to live for him. You'll talk about God around the dining room table and at home, at bath time, in the car. You'll talk about God. You'll prioritize church and godly community. You'll get them in environments to help them grow in God. And Herbert and I established priorities for our children when we were young parents. And here were the priorities. We want our children to love God and live for him. We want our children to enjoy spending time with family. We want our children to enjoy the goodness of marriage. We want our children to enjoy the goodness of parenthood. And we want our children to enjoy the goodness of living for God. And here are some of the ways that we reinforce those priorities. First, God is the center of our family. We point to Jesus in our conversations, in our actions, in our decisions, the choices that we make. in church, and we serve in church. My kids grew up from a young age through PC Kids, through the youth ministry. They found ways to serve on teams and outreaches. They were able to develop gifts, serving in production, worship teams, speaking.

Church was a priority. God was the center of our family. Eating dinner together is a priority. When our kids were young, this happened a lot more frequently. We would eat around four to five times a week together. Now we have older kids with jobs and their own schedules, so now it's generally one to two times a week is the goal. Also, our family date night every week was a priority, and this was a very special time for us. And now we do it still once a week for whoever is free. And so we just wanna spend time together. We wanna eat together, play games together, watch movies together, travel. There are so many things that we enjoy doing together. And then the third way purpose makes us better parents is parenting with purpose gives us resilience when parenting is challenging. After my freshman year of college, I took one semester off to work and save money for my marriage to Herbert. And so I found a job at Pizza Hut, and they trained me for an entire week. And then I worked a couple of weeks, and then I quit. Tiffany did not have that waitress anointing. I'm telling you. She would spill a drink on you. Yes, she would. Okay, but I was nice. I was very apologetic.

You know, it wasn't my flow. And Dillard's called, and Dillard's offered me a job at the department store, and I just thought that was a better fit. So I quit my job at Pizza Hut. And listen to me, church. Parenting is not like Pizza Hut. You can't quit when you feel like it. You can't quit because it gets hard. Parenting is a 24-7 calling. And that's why resilience is so important. Resilience is the ability to recover after a tough time. It is the ability to bounce back. And when your baby is teething, you understand why they're fussy, why they're drooling, why they're irritable. Although it's not easy, you know it serves a purpose because they are growing the teeth they need for solid food. And when your teenager feels like they're pulling away, when they want separation, when they're challenging your boundaries, it's not easy, but you understand that this is a normal process in them gaining the independence they're going to need to be flourishing adults. In the moment, parenting challenges, they can feel overwhelming, but scripture instructs us to be resilient, to not give up. Galatians 6, 9, and let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up.

And parenting is hard work. Sometimes it feels overwhelming and hopeless, but scripture tells us that we will reap a harvest if we don't give up. As Pastor Robert Schuler said, tough times never last, but tough people do. Parents, you can do this. You can do it, don't give up. You can outlast the tough times. Parent with purpose and bounce back. The second key to purposeful parenting is parent on purpose. On is a word to indicate active involvement. And when you parent on purpose, you are actively parenting. Authors Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend write that the purpose of boundaries in biblical parenting is to let good things in and keep bad things out. So here are a few things that you can let in. The first is play together. Spend time together. Jonathan Wilson says it's better to have a little, a lot, than a lot, a little. Basically, this means it's better to have consistent time with your children than just occasional blocks of time. And time together, it doesn't have to cost money. You can go to the park. You can go for a walk. You can eat a lunch on your yard. You can play a game. You can laugh together. Did you know that the Bible.

The Bible says that laughter is medicine. In Proverbs 17, 22, it says a cheerful heart is good medicine. And when my kids were young, I remember having a difficult stretch. And in that moment, I made a commitment that I was going to laugh with my kids every single day. And guess what? I laughed with my children every single day, and I started to feel better. My circumstances still had the weight, but I just felt lighter, because laughter is medicine. Another good thing we can let in is practice together. Philippians 4, 9 says, whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me, put it into practice, and the peace of God will be with you. When it comes to parenting our children, we will have the peace of God if we obey what Scripture instructs us to do. And when we obey Scripture, we're modeling it for our children. And as they say, more is caught than taught. So, practice having life-giving conversations. Practice connecting with your children, listening to understand. Practice apologies and forgiveness and grace. Practice speaking the truth with love. A third good thing to let in is pray together.

You may have heard this quote that the family that prays together stays together. You got it. And there is a study from Harvard that says that the practice of prayer during childhood is linked to healthier life choices and better physical, mental, and emotional well-being in young adults. So, parents, pray for your children and pray together. And then there are two bad things to keep out. We call these the isms. The first is keep out perfectionism. Parents, you can bring separation or support to your relationship with your child. If you have an expectation of perfection, you are likely going to create a separation in your relationship with your child. But if you support them through the ups and the downs and all the things that they're navigating as they grow, you are going to bring support not only to them, but to your relationship. And here are just two thoughts about perfectionism. Parent the child you have, not the child you want. And parent your child from where they are and not where you wish they were. Also, keep out legalism. Parents, rules do matter, but connection gives rules their influence. So focus on connection over control. Ephesians 6.4 says,

fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and the instruction of the Lord. Your child will make mistakes, but don't add to that mistake by blowing up yourself. Have you heard the quote, two wrongs don't make a right? And I know, I know that we can respond in anger and a lot of times it's because of fear or frustration or maybe we even feel hurt, but anger doesn't foster connection. It fosters compliance. And compliance without relationship often becomes legalism. And a legalism may change your child's behavior for a moment, but connection is the thing that shapes your child's heart. So parents, you can choose a better response when you parent on purpose. So we've talked about parent with purpose, parent on purpose, and the third key to purposeful parenting is parent for their purpose. For is a word used to indicate an intended goal. God has entrusted our children to us and we have a high calling to prepare them for their unique purpose that God has for them. As parents, our goal is to help our children discover who God created them to be. I love what the psalmist said in Psalm chapter 139, verse 15 and 16. He says, my frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. I saw my unformed body, catch this, all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Before I ever came to this earth, my days were already ordained in your book. Understand this, parents, God knows your child completely. He gave them their personality. He gave them their temperament, their gifts, their talents. He has a specific plan for their life. Our great God holds all of their days and their future in his hands. Proverbs chapter 19, verse 21 says, many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. We may have many plans for our children, but our goal should be for God's plan and purpose to be accomplished in their life. Our purpose as parents is to help our children to discover and to live out God's purpose and plan for their life. Parents, God's purpose for your children may look different from your plans, but God's plans are always better than your plans. Let me give you three ways to parent for their purpose. Prepare your child, prepare them, prepare them spiritually. Like take ownership of that parents. I'm gonna prepare my child spiritually.

I'm gonna help them connect with God. I'm gonna plant them in church, in children's ministry. I'm gonna plant them in the youth ministry. I'm gonna get them around godly mentors. I'm gonna teach them to seek God's will above worldly success. Prepare them mentally and emotionally. Encourage them to talk about their feelings, to share their thoughts, to share their mistakes. One of the keys Tiffany and I have learned is you have to make it safe for your children to talk. So you can't blow up, you can't overreact. Well, you know what I watched there? You know what I did? You know where I went? I watched that, yeah! I'm not talking to you anymore. Yeah. Talk, share your feelings, share your thoughts, share your mistakes so that I can help develop a godly self-image, help develop godly thinking, help develop godly emotions. Guard their social media and screen time. Guard their phone time, help them mentally to develop good study habits in school. Prepare them financially. The parents, a lot of parents overlook this. Teach them how to budget. You say, well, pastor, I don't even have a budget. Well, get yourself on a budget

so you can teach your children how to budget. Teach them about good debt and bad debt. Like, you gotta teach them. Not all debt's good debt. It doesn't matter what the world says. Teach them good debt and bad debt. Teach them how to tie, how to be givers to the kingdom of God. Teach them about a credit score, what a credit score is, and teach them how to get in the 700s and push up to the 800s. Teach them how credit score works when they wanna get a loan, buy a house, start a business. Teach your children, teach them about life insurance. Teach them about savings and retirement and investing for the future. Prepare them financially. Prepare them physically. Help them to develop good eating and exercise habits. Help them discover and to develop the gifts that God has given them. As they're growing, you'll see gifts and talents. You help cultivate that and help them thrive in using the gifts that God has given them. Prepare your child for the future. God has for them. Here's a second nugget. Praise your child. That's how you parent for their purpose.

Look for the good in them and praise them. Praise kindness. Praise obedience more than achievement. Praise when they work hard. Praise when they give their best effort. Praise them for using their God-given gifts. Parents, let me challenge you with this. Would you make it a goal as a parent to daily speak life into each of your children? Your words carry so much weight in their life. Your words shape their life more than you know. Speak life, not death, over your children. Your words carry weight. Some of you can remember the negative things your parents spoke over you, even today. I'm 51 years old and I remember when I was a teenager they were tying barbed wire around the fence and didn't quite get it right and them cows ran out the other side. And my daddy said some things to me that I'll never forget. He told me about my purpose, but it wasn't the Lord. I still remember those words, they cut me. Your words matter. Speak life, not death over your children. And then pray for your child. How do you parent? For their purpose, pray for your child. We never want to do the difficult work of parenting without the Lord. We need God's help.

I said, we need God's help. We need to pray for them, with them, and pray over them. If you're not sure what to pray, start by praying scripture over your children. Pray Psalm 127, verse seven and eight. Pray for the Lord to keep them safe. Pray Proverbs, chapter three, verse five and six. Pray they would trust God with all of their heart and lean not to their own understanding. Pray First Timothy, chapter six, verse number 11. They would flee evil and they would pray. Pray they would pursue righteous life and living. Pray Proverbs, chapter 13, verse 20. Pray they would choose godly and wise friendships. Pray Jeremiah, chapter 29, and verse number 11. Pray they would discover and live out their God-given purpose when we parent with God's purpose, on purpose, and for our child's purpose, we leave a legacy that reaches far beyond our lifetime. I'm reminded of Psalm chapter 78, verse four. It says, we will not hide them from their descendants. We will, we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power and the wonders he has done. Verse six says, so the next generation, after we've told them the next generation, they'll know the word of the Lord. They'll know the commands of God. And he talks about even the children yet to be born, and they in turn will tell their children.

Can I tell you, church, legacy happens when you parent with purpose, on purpose, and for their purpose. Purposeful parenting is not just for your children, but it's for their children and their children. If Jesus tarries their children and their children to know God and to live for God and to live a life on purpose to accomplish his purpose. Father, thanks for your word today. Thanks for ministering by your power and by your spirit. Touch the hearts and lives of people right now. Minister by your Holy Spirit, I pray. In Jesus' name, as eyes are closed, and you said, pastor, I'm struggling as a parent. I'm dealing with a difficult situation. My child is struggling. Would you pray for me? If you're struggling as a parent or your child is struggling, would you just slip a hand up and just slip it back down? Say, pastor, that's me, that's me. Thank you, so many hands going up. Father, right now, we just say we need you. Parenting is hard, relationships are hard, but we look to the God who can give us help. God, give people strength today. Give them tenacity. Give them faith. Give them hope. Give them wisdom to parent their children.

God, I pray right now for every child that will serve the Lord. They will have a good attitude. They will honor the Lord. They will grow up in the fear of the Lord. They will love the Lord. They will know your word. They will love your house. They will love your people. God, I pray for prodigal sons and daughters. I pray they come home in the name of Jesus. Lost son and daughters will come home right now, and Lord, they will serve the Lord. I pray blessings over every family, every home, every marriage, over kids, over parents. The blessing of the Lord will chase down every person in Jesus' name. As eyes are closed and heads are still bowed, I'm talking to some people that you've been following your way and not God's way. You've been following your plan and not God's plan. Today's your day to say, Pastor, I'm going to start following God's plan, not my plan. I want to start following God's purpose, not my purpose. Somebody used to follow God. You used to follow his plan and purpose, but you drifted away and you started following your plan and your purpose. Today is your day to come back home.

As I count to three, I'm going to ask you to shoot your hand high in the air, and if you say, Pastor, today I don't want to keep following my plan and purpose, I want to follow God's plan and purpose. If that's you, you want to give your heart to the Lord and follow his way, not your way. I'm going to ask you to shoot your hand up high. I want to lead you into prayer to say yes to Jesus. One, two, three. Just lift it high and say, Pastor, that's me. See your hand there, see your hand there, see your hand there, others today, see your hand, it's so awesome. See hands going up, see your hand there. Others today, just lift up, see your hand there in the back, others today. Just lift it high, see your hand there. Others today, I want to start following God's plan, not my plan. I'm going to ask for every hand that's lifted up out of your mouth, believe it in your heart, and God's going to wash away your sins. Pray with me now. Heavenly Father, I turn away from my plan and my purpose. And today, I turn my life over. Jesus Christ. Today I confess Jesus is my Lord and my Savior and I commit my life to follow his plan and his purpose for my life. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your forgiveness. Thank you for your Holy Spirit that lives in me and I will serve you the rest of my life. In Jesus name I pray amen and amen. Come on

somebody give Jesus some praise right now. Come on and give God some praise. Praise the Lord. Would you stand up with me all over this place. If you're new here today looking for a home church I hope you don't need to look any further. You're among some of the kindest most loving people in all of Oklahoma. Give us a year of your life. Get plugged in and watch what God will do in and through your life. We're family here at People's Church. If you need prayer today prayer team would you come forward. We'd love to pray for you today. We're family. Would you shout it with me on three. One, two, three. We're family. God bless you church.