Forgiven and Set Free Episode 6 - The Need to Forgive

Welcome back. We are so glad you have decided to continue this journey with us. If you are joining us for the first time, you really need to go back and start with episode one, because all of these episodes build on the one before. And we want you to have that full experience. So start at the beginning and we'll meet you back here. All right. In the last episode, we talked about depression and the exhaustion that comes from carrying grief for just way too long. Today we're going to talk about forgiveness, not as something that is small or easy, but as something that is costly and deeply connected to the gospel. Okay. So before we begin, I want to say something clearly. Okay. So forgiveness is not forced here. Forgiveness is not rushed here. And forgiveness does not mean what happened was okay. Look, forgiveness is about freedom, not fairness. Let me read some scripture to you. Psalm 62 verse 8 invites us, pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge. Look, once again, if any point this feels like too much, press the pause button and return. Ladies, thank you for being here. Let's go to the Lord in prayer. Heavenly Father, thank you for forgiving each one of us. Your word calls us to forgive as we too have been forgiven. As we talk about forgiveness today, would you fill us with your loving kindness and your compassion in Jesus' name, amen. Look, forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood ideas in scripture. Let me help you out what forgiveness is not.

Forgiveness is not excusing harm, minimizing pain, trusting someone who isn't safe, restoring a broken relationship. I think that one is so huge, Jill, because we often think if I forgive you, I need to be back with you. Yes. And people get that wrong. We can forgive someone and hold healthy boundaries. And that is really, really important. Yeah. I love that. We can hold healthy boundaries. Forgiveness is about releasing what has been poisoning your heart. Let me share some scripture again. Colossians 3 verse 13, bear with each other and forgive one another. Let me say that part again, and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. That comparisons matter. It does so much. I want to talk about the cost of forgiveness now. When you think about it, forgiveness always costs something. When we forgive, we are giving up the right to be right. We're giving up the need for revenge. And we are giving up an identity shaped by anger. Again, these are all really important. And this is not small. This is where forgiveness leads us directly to the cross. Romans 5, 8 tells us, while we were all sinners, Christ died for us. Think about this. Forgiveness was not cheap for Jesus. It cost him his life.

Colossians 2 verses 13 and 14 say, our debt was nailed to the cross. Think about that. Nailed to the cross. And with that, it was paid in full. All right, we're going to do a little exercise here. If you're able, pick up something small near you. A book, a folded piece of paper, or anything you can hold. I'm going to pick up my water. As you hold it, imagine it represent unforgiveness, anger, resentment, or self-condemnation that you've been carrying for a long time. I'm just sitting here looking at this because I know this is going to get heavy. Even something small become heavy when held for a long time. In Matthew 11 verse 28. says, come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Thank you, Lord. Jesus invites us to lay burdens down, not deny they exist. I'm still holding the bottle, so I hope you're still holding your object. I want y'all to hear from our friend Phyllis again, as she talks about forgiveness and what began to change when she stopped carrying everything on her own. When I had my first classes, I really felt like I had belonged and that there was so many women that had the same experience as me and felt the same way as me, and I would have never known it

had I not spoke up about what I did and how I felt about it. And once I started coming to these groups and coming with these women's and we just started going and doing the work, I started seeing how God, how he feels about it. Forgiveness does not rewrite the past, but it does release the hold the past has on us. Ephesians 4, verse 31 through 32, tells us to let go of bitterness. Oof, let go of bitterness. Not because the pain wasn't real, but because bitterness consumes the one holding it. Forgiveness frees you guys. It sets you free. Isn't that interesting when we think about what it looks like to hold on to bitterness and what does that get you? I'm really just asking, what does it get you to hold on to that kind of anger, that kind of bitterness? What does it get you to not forgive someone else? Let's talk about the walking wounded worksheet that we used in previous episodes. If you can flip back in your notebook or find that piece of paper, please do so. So on the walking wounded worksheet, we were working on the one side where we dealt with, what are our coping strategies?

Remember we listed those out, denial, deception, constant penance, justifying, and isolation. Well, again, today we're gonna talk about that prescription for biblical healing. So when we think about denial, what's the opposite of that? It's confession. We're not gonna deny what is true. We are gonna confess what is true. And Psalm 51 is a great biblical reference for that one. When we think about deception, what's the opposite of deception? It's transparency. And we want to be walking in truth and looking at the truth in a very realistic way. We wanna be transparent about what happened to us, about our choices. Psalm 139 is a great reference for that. When you think about constant penance, trying to make up for what you've done, the opposite of that is total dependence on God. And Titus chapter three, verses four through seven, help us really look at that. Justifying, you know, we've justified the heck out of what we've done. Instead, we want to agree with God. And Psalm 32, verses three through five, can help us really understand that. And then finally, instead of operating in isolation, we want to be in fellowship with Christ. We wanna be in fellowship with other believers.

And James chapter four, verse eight, can help us with that. So we want you to spend some time thinking about that. When you look at the coping strategies that you were using, think about the prescription for biblical healing and how that is gonna change your outlook on life. Like I said, spend some time looking up those scriptures and think about this. These are not demands. These are invitations. First John 1, seven says, if we walk in the light, we have fellowship. The main objective of using the coping strategies was to, it was really to avoid pain. And the main objective for. using biblical healing for really taking hold of that prescription for biblical healing is for true healing. So you should still be holding on to that object. Do you feel the weight of it, even though it might be something that's really light? You can put that down now. This does not mean that forgiveness is finished. It simply means that you don't have to carry it alone. That's a big deal. Thank you, Jill, for allowing me to put that water down. My hands was aching. Okay, so before the next episode, we invite you to do two things. Read chapter seven of this study. And second, here's a really cool homework assignment. Write a letter to a post-abortive woman using these prompts. What would you like for her to know about God? Think about that. What does she need to know regarding her feelings about her abortion? How do you encourage her going forward? Now, here's the cool thing. Many women discover the words they write are really words that God wanted them to hear themselves. Scripture tells us in 2 Corinthians 1, verse 3 through 4, reminds us that God comfort us so we can comfort others.

I love this exercise because it is so enlightening. As you're writing that letter to another woman who has an abortion in her past, you are going to be really surprised at what comes out of it. You really are. Let's go to our Father in prayer. Father God, thank you for your grace and your unconditional forgiveness. We recognize that you are the only one that can truly heal our wounds. Help us to give you our burdens and our bitterness. Give us the humility and courage to fully accept your forgiveness and help us to walk in freedom with you. Thank you for your loving kindness. In Jesus' name, amen. Look, y'all, forgiveness is a journey, not a moment. You're going to have to remind yourself over and over and over again to forgive. When you're ready, continue to the next episode. And we will talk to you about freedom and the finished work of Jesus. God is patient and he is with you.