Forgiven and Set Free Episode 11 - Peanut's testimony

My name is Phyllis Antivo Ochoa, I'm 32 years old, I grew up in San Antonio with my grandparents who raised me. My mother was in prison, my father was deported to Mexico, I didn't know Jesus in my household. The only thing we knew about Jesus was don't say bad words and Jesus doesn't like when you're being mean to your sister or that's pretty much all I knew. Before I knew Jesus, I struggled with a lot of insecurity and low self-esteem. I also struggled a lot because my mother wasn't there. Then I finally met the father of my child. We were young, I was 16, he was 17, we were having unprotected sex and I got pregnant. I was happy that I had my son, I was excited, but it didn't seem like everybody else was really happy about it, but I knew I was. About five months later, I got pregnant again. Nobody wanted me to have the baby and I was really excited and I wanted the baby because a part of me felt like what if it's a girl, like I want a little girl, you know, I want a little me. But I never expressed it or voiced it to anybody. When we got to the clinic, I was really nervous, I was scared and I had like my spirit inside was jumping and my spirit was just telling me like, don't do this, don't do this. And I just remember the drive home and I remember just feeling really empty. And then when I started kind of getting to know God, I pulled myself back because I felt how could he forgive what I did. I started hearing things like God knows every hair on our head and knew it was before we were in our mother's womb and all I could think about was what I did. My first thoughts about coming to abortion recovery, I was nervous at first. I was ashamed. I didn't want to talk about it. I had already been walking with God and, you know, learning his word, but every single time I got to that abortion part, I was like, I don't know if I'm ready to admit to other people about what I did. Since I started, you know, coming to these groups and coming with these women's and we

just started going and doing the work, I got to learn, you know, about how God, he forgives us. I was able to share my anger with the Lord. I was able to give that to him and he was able to show me how, you know, to let it go and to not allow the root of bitterness to take root inside of me and make me bitter and miserable. Not only was I able to forgive, but I know that I was forgiven. I got to learn about how Jesus, you know, how he came for all of us and I was able to see how just Jesus is just so, he is just so wonderful and everything that he went through for us and I'm grateful and I'm able to just walk around and I'm able to get that guilt and that shame and it's no longer there because I have the forgiveness of Jesus inside of me and I'm just so thankful. And so I always encourage the other women that have been through an abortion experience, you know, to just give it to God, to come to God boldly, courageously and brave and to just speak out and just say what you need to say. I just want them to know that, you know, there is healing and that the Lord is good and he forgives us. He doesn't hold on to that because Jesus died for us and so he paid the ultimate price. And I'm just so thankful for the Lord and I'm thankful for just the women that I get to encounter and I get to meet because it's not just, you know, that I'm there for them, but they're there for me too and they help me in a major way because we can, it's just good to know that, you know, we're not alone. I got to have a beautiful memorial service for my children and I got to sing to them. I got to speak to them and I had never felt closer to my children than I did during my classes. And after that, it was like every time I left class, they were always with me. And I just always think about them and I find so much comfort in knowing that they're with Jesus, you know, and that they're just having a good time, that they're well taken care of. There is power in the name of Jesus. Jesus to break every chain, break every chain, break every chain.