Family and Finances: Episode 4, Part 2

For this episode of our podcast, people submitted some questions in, so I thought it might be good if we knock off some of the questions that people are thinking about. One of them that came in said, does my family come first or giving to the local church? This reminded me of that question. Years ago, I got called by CNN, the international news agency, and they asked me during the economic downturn, should people tithe if they're going into foreclosure on their house? Should they keep tithing? I said, that sounds like a hypothetical question. Could you introduce me to somebody that that's happening to? It turned out it was a hypothetical. There wasn't a case like that. What I have found is when we put God first, He takes care of us. I think it was Randy Alcorn who said, I would rather give God 10% and let Him stretch the 90 than me keep 100% and try to make it work by myself. But the answer to that question, I would say, Anne, is both. God's word says we're to take care of our family. If we don't, we're worse than an infidel. We're also to take care of God's priorities. It's not a trade-off. If you're in a position where it has to be a trade-off, then you need to go back and recreate your budget. For sure. I would agree with you 100%. Maybe that's where you do a financial fast of some sort. You don't eat out. You cut back some place so you can provide for the family and give. Honestly, Chuck, maybe people can't give 10% at the very beginning, that they're going to have to work towards that goal. I don't think it's a law. What I think is expected of us is that we give joyfully and cheerfully.

To go around and teach people to give and be sour or upset or under enormous pressure or shame if they're not, it's a love relationship. God loves us, and He wants us to show love to Him and to do it with joy. So absolutely, if somebody's listening and they need to start incrementally and work up to that. I would also say on the other side of that, Ann, the tithe is just the beginning point. We've known couples that the year they got married, they started at 10% and added one year for their marriage. They had been married 52 years when they were telling us this story. So that means they were giving 62% and doing it joyfully. We know another couple that they give their birthday, I mean their age. So they came under the conviction that they were married at 25, and they started at 25%. There's no cap to how much God may put on our hearts to give, but He does want us to be givers. Not just what do we give to satisfy the church's needs, which I think is the first priority in the Word, that we're to give to His church, to His purposes, but we're also to be prepared to give to others. We're to be prepared to give generously to our children, generously to those in need, especially the poor. And those are priorities on God's heart. In fact, the very last parable, the parable of the sheep and goats, is about those who took care of God's hurting people, those on God's heart. And God set it up that way. We're the beneficiaries. We think we're helping others, but honestly, so often we're the ones that benefit from it. It's our heart. I don't know if you remember the time that we were in a small group, and there was someone that expressed a need in that small group, and after it was over, you and I both sensed that the Lord had put it on our heart to help that specific financial need.

And we prayed separately, and then I asked you, or you asked me, what number did God put on your heart? And our numbers agreed, which was like, oh my goodness. And it was healthy. And it was a stretch for us. And instead of giving to that person, we went to the local church and gave anonymously. So they would never know. And we were standing in the hallway of the church in the foyer one day, and this particular person walked by. We overheard their conversation, and in tears she told her friend that God had provided the exact amount of money they needed, and we didn't even know what that amount was. And so she didn't know that she told it back to us. It just walked by, and it's like God deposited the information we needed without her ever knowing it was us. Yeah, well we've been on that other end. We have had friends give to us in tight times. Oh yeah. Or when we've been through some really challenging things. Yeah. So we know the blessing that that is. Well someone asked why is giving so important, and one of the things that you've always emphasized is that it breaks the bonds of materialism over our own heart. Because if we're not giving, then we're essentially accumulating. And you know you're a stickler about that. You don't like accumulating. I'm like an ant, you know, I want to bring it all in and put it in my ant bed. But you practice it even like when things come into the closet, something's got to go out of the closet. Well I just know that there's people that need things worse than we do, so I'd rather not hold on to it. I think another benefit of giving, and I like to say of becoming God's giver, not just practicing a little giving, you know, when your heart is stirred or you think you can get around to it, but seeing yourself and your identity as a giver, is there's such freedom in knowing that this is not all there is. In some ways you're saying money is not going to control my identity, it's not going to control my life. Money's not going to be the boundaries by which I define my life. You have freedom. It can all go away, and God can still provide and take care of your needs. Not to be foolish, not to be cavalier, but to

be very very intentional and sensitive to the Lord. I think it just brings such great freedom. Another question we have, should I be tithing to my local church versus other ministries or other places? Well, we do both, so what has been your guiding thought on that? Well, we make church our priority. We're being fed. We think God makes it clear in His Word. We support the local church, and then we give to ministries where we personally agree, where we believe what they're doing, and what they're accomplishing. And I think there's a lot of freedom there. There are people who have a passion for certain issues, and God wants them to give to support those issues, whether it's rescuing children, solving poverty, helping after a tragedy. There are people who are just almost set aside to be prepared to meet those needs. And I think you should always be prepared for something that comes up that God may just be asking you to do for somebody else. Tell the story about what happened to you at the gas station. Oh, that was just a month ago. I was pulled into the Kroger gas station, and a lady was smiling at me as I opened my door, and she said, can I fill your car with gas? And it really caught me off guard, and she said, no, really. I have—it was the end of the month. She said, I've got enough on here on my card, and we have to use it up, or it just expires. And I said, sure, I'll be happy to pay you though. And she said, no, that would take the joy out of giving it to you. So she completely filled my car. It was amazing. Yeah, and you got such joy out of her example, because it's typically something you or I would do. And somebody did it for us, and it was almost like, really? Well, you did it for a young lady. Remember that? Well, I've done it. I carry a hundred dollar bill. You probably don't tell me all the times you do it. Right, I don't. I try to keep it from you, because I carry a hundred dollar bill. That's the, you know, for the purpose of giving. When somebody asks me if they need something, I'm the person to do it for them. prepared to give them $100. And I try to discern if it's legitimate. Because there are times when you are being taken advantage of. And there are times when you're only fueling a drug addiction

or some sort of bad dysfunction that you don't want to perpetuate. But there are other times when the Bible says you may be entertaining an angel when a stranger asks you for something. One time I was coming out of the airport and I had to stop for gas. It was like midnight. And it was not a safe part of town. I did not want to be there. I was a little nervous. And while I was pumping gas, late at night, a car pulled up and sort of blocked me in from where I was standing. And a lady rolled, a woman, a young woman, rolled down her window and said, excuse me, sir. And I almost jumped. I mean, I thought, oh no. And I turned around and she said, I don't want to frighten you. And I thought to myself, well, you already have. She said, but I just drove in from, I'm coming here to go to college and I'm out of gas. And I don't have anything, any money. And her car was full of things that looked like she was a college student. She was maybe legitimate, I don't know. But I had a $1 bill and a $100 bill in my wallet, the $100 that I carry for that purpose. And I turned around to her and I handed her a $100 bill.

And I always do this. I say, I give you this in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. And she burst out crying, saying, hallelujah. Hallelujah. Thank you, Lord God. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I could hardly fight back my tears. It was as if she was driving under stress from where she was coming from. And she was at midnight for her. And she was thinking, I have to stop here and ask somebody for help. And there I was, just for that moment. But her tears and her response, I will take to my grave. I remember her face, I remember her joy. I remember thinking, oh, I'm so glad that I didn't just have one dollar. That was somebody's daughter that we helped. Somebody's daughter that was there. And I've always said, God gives you back more. It's happened to me over and over and over, where somebody will do something like that for us. And I always feel like what Larry Burkett taught us is true. Most of what God gives you is not for you. And that we try to live that way. And we try to show God's love to other people, no matter what the need may be or whenever it comes up.