Family and Finances: Episode 4, Part 1

Last time we talked about budgeting, which is a real problem area for many couples, but one thing we didn't really emphasize as much as I think we should have is that we were trying to put our finances in a new place because we were under conviction for not being givers, not being as generous as we thought we should have. A lot of people develop a budget just to solve some sort of financial problem like getting out of debt or saving for a house. What we came under the conviction of, which is different than how God works in a lot of people's lives, but we had not been honoring Him. We had not been putting Him first. I was happy at the national average of giving. That's what we did for so many years, 2.6%. That's what we calculated we had been giving. That's what most people give, 2.6% of their annual income. You decided that God's Word said to honor Him and to put Him first and that that's what we were going to do as the first step to changing our finances. I remember when you told me, and I said, what does that mean, Ann? You said, well, I want to give 10% of our gross annual income off the top. I looked at you and said, what decade would you like to start? You said, I want to start now. I think I had a Don Knotts type moment, if people remember who that is, Don Mayberry, when Don Knotts' knees would shake. I thought, no, Ann, we just can't do it. I explained to you, yeah, we can't do it because it would change everything in our finances. You looked at me and said, that's exactly right. I was convicted because for the first time in our marriage, it wasn't our money. I realized it was God's and that we had not been treating it as His and that we needed to honor Him first. We agreed that that's what we wanted to do. Now, it took some convincing from me. I mean, I knew God's Word said it, but I had been raised in an environment where if you even said the word tithing, it just smacked of legalism. We were under the law to tithe. It was almost like it was a tax that we had to do. I resisted that. Number one, I didn't believe it, that it was really a tax, that God would tax us. Number two, I didn't want to pay the tax. I was pretty happy paying 2.6%. That's sort of the way I looked at it. I was paying something. I didn't realize that it was all God's and that you and I decided that we would reverse that thinking. Not how much of our money should we give to God, but how much of God's money should we spend on ourselves? Right. I think up until that point, we had thought we would be deprived of something

if we gave it to God. As a result, we missed out on the joy of giving. We didn't understand the benefit of it. We decided to start what people would call the tithe. The root of that word, the meaning of that word is the tenth. It means that you take a tenth, one tenth of what you have, and you set it aside for God. First, from the very beginning. We decided that's what we would do. If you go back to thinking about our budget, to go from 2.6%, now 7.4% had to be added to our monthly giving. Then everything else we had to find 7.4% in to come out of our budget to make that work. We did it immediately. I thought we were driving off of a cliff. I thought this is not going to work, but we'll try it. Maybe for 90 days, then we can make an adjustment to whatever we need to do. We never looked back. That's been more than 21 years ago. We have not looked back at making God first. When I think about it, Ann, I don't know why everybody doesn't build a budget that way. You start with, God owns this. It's His. Let's thank Him for what He's given us as an act of love. I don't feel like I'm paying a tax when we give. I don't feel like I'm checking a box that we've... you know, got some obligation to appease the Lord, we're saying thank you. Wasn't I pregnant at that point? And when we started, I think it, you know what, you remind me of this because people always think we must have been sort of well off. Not only were you pregnant, but I was leaving the corporate world to go on staff where we weren't even sure what our income would be because we were trusting God for support in this transition to Crown. We didn't know what we would have. And so, number one, our salary was set at less than half of what I'd been making if it came in. And so there's no security whatsoever, but we said in the midst of that insecurity, God will always be first. Right. The reason I remember distinctly, we were going to give more. I was pregnant. I needed clothes. Because I couldn't fit in anything. And I just remember, I went to a maternity shop and picked out about five or six outfits. And then I left them in the dressing room and went home and just prayed. And that week, a friend called me and asked if I wanted her stuff. And I mean, she gave me boxes of things, and it was like confirmation that we were doing the right thing. It was just so sweet how God

answered that. Well, when we decided to join staff, this is when this was all happening. Our hearts had been changed, say, about January of that year. And then by September, we were joining Crown staff. August or September. And in that process, we decided God would be first in our lives and everything. That He owned everything we had. He owned you and I. And we would always honor Him with whatever He provided. And you asked me to read George Mueller's autobiography. And I thought, well, why is that? And I didn't know about his life story. The man who depended on God and didn't tell anybody he was living by support. And my brother asked me to read that book the same week. And so it was like this confirmation that God wanted us to just silently trust Him for everything. And we didn't have any income. But that first week we started, a man called me and said, I'm an elder in my church, and I understand that you're praying about joining Crown staff. And I said, no, sir, I'm not. I'm already on staff. And he said, well, how are you supported? And I said, we're just trusting the Lord. And he said, this week, I'm transferring a very large contribution into your support account. So God confirmed with how He provided for you. He provided our income. And we just found excitement in making Him first. You know, when people talk to me about should they do that, I think that's the beginning point. I think that's the minimum that people should do when they think about their giving, is to start with 10%. Not out of a tax, not out of a law, not out of obligation. You know, when I think about it, you know, having four boys, I remember taking them to get hamburgers or something, you know, when we'd go out to eat. Buying them all hamburger and french fries. And here they are. I'm just so happy that I've been able to provide for them. And I reach over and want to get one of their french fries. And when the boys were younger, you know, they would say, no, that's mine. Well, I just bought every single thing for them. And I had such joy in providing it for them. But one of them, you know, would say, no, these are mine. Well, the reality is, that's the way we treat God. At least the way I treated Him. You know, these are, what He had given me, I was saying, these are now mine. And I wasn't willing to let Him even have one of my french fries. Or I was 2.6%. He could have 2.6% of them. And so we opened our heart to not just give, but to become givers.

And I think we became more thankful for what He had provided us. It was a complete change of heart and thinking. And an exciting, joyful journey where it is better to give than to receive. And we've seen it over and over and over. And we've seen in the lean times, you know, there was about 18 months into this where, you know, God is absolutely first. We're trusting Him with all of our provision. We didn't have any support, and we were going into Christmas. And I decided that we needed to just fast and pray and wait on the Lord. We still weren't asking anybody or telling anybody we had needs. And I don't know if you remember that Christmas, but God gave us the opportunity to pray and wait on the Lord. I asked me to go out to lunch and I'd been helping him get out of debt and he wasn't too keen on being a giver. He thought that that was not their priority as a family. But after that lunch, this was about the third time we had met, God had touched his heart and he slipped an envelope across the table and I'd never told him that we had any financial need whatsoever. And it was enough to get us through November and December, enough support that he just was moved by God to take care of us. And so, you know, God, when we make him first, God takes care of our needs in ways we could never put on a budget or on a plan. He's just done that over and over and over.