Family and Finances: Episode 3, Part 3

You know, Crown creates a lot of tools to help people to establish a budget. One of the things that's absolutely free is just to go up to our website and download the forms. And we have forms for people who are single, people who are just new couples or married with children or people who live in high real estate cost areas because that's a very different dynamic on people's budgets. We have staff members who are living in high real estate cost areas and working remotely. And so we have all those scenarios that people can download for free. But one of the tools I think is so helpful is an easy guide to a budget you love. And in a sense, it's like sitting down with a trusted mentor who would dig out of you the plans that you want, the goals that you have, and you write those things down so that your budget matches where you are. I think most people quit when a budget doesn't solve a problem for them. If you know it's going to solve a problem and help you achieve what you want to achieve in life, then you're going to stay motivated and you're going to stay diligent. And by the way, we haven't talked about diligence. I would say in our family, you're the one with maybe the most discipline, you know, in terms of just doing it very, very particularly, you know, being really, really careful about it. But discipline with your budget is such a good thing. Discipline means that you're able to say no. You can say no to the things that you want right now because that enables you to actually delay gratification and to achieve something for tomorrow that you said no to today. Well, and I think sometimes people give up. If they fail one month, they just give up. And I liken it to a toddler who falls down but gets up and tries walking again. So, you know, you have to try to live by a budget. And the beautiful thing about it is you can rework your numbers. It may not work the first time the way you've set it up. So go back and adjust your numbers. Well, what I like to see is people do a very conservative budget where they estimate sort

of the worst case scenario on their income or their job or their circumstances. And then God surprises them with income they didn't expect. And that's when you start to make real progress. It's like you've got your foot on the brake when it comes to expenses. And once you start figuring out that you can have a break and you can really manage your spending and control that, sometimes God puts his foot on the gas pedal and your income increases. Right. So you get this big gap or margin. And you know, the tragedy of so many of the people that may be listening right now is they have plenty of money, but they have no margin. And what's really hurting them is the lack of margin. And you know, to me, that's how far can you limbo under that bar of your income. And if you can create a big gap with margin, then you can make more progress. Yeah. And I think it's very important to hold each other accountable, in love, and have friends or mentors that will encourage you along the way. Well, and there's surprises and there are unexpected difficulties and there are detours that you have a setback. I've known people who've had a setback for a whole year. Maybe it was a hospital visit. Maybe it was an unexpected child. And they just can't make progress. But that's where diligence comes in, because it's that breakthrough year that may happen where those things don't go wrong or you don't have an unexpected. And then suddenly you're able to increase your savings, increase your emergency fund, and start to see the excitement of these things actually coming to pass. You know, Ann, I was thinking of some of the seniors that we have helped and counseled. Not just young couples, because that's where there's a lot of stress and a lot of sort of getting on the track early on that we didn't have.

But there are seniors that need budgets. And we've got elderly family that we're seeing the difficulty when there's been a lack of planning and there's been a lack of preparation. And so even seniors need help, and they need to be sure that they're prepared for that day when they can find themselves single again. So this is an important discipline. It's an important part of managing finances the way God wants us to manage them. And I'm so grateful we learned to do it. It took a lot of pain for us to get there, but we've learned. I know you. say we're a work in progress. There are some months that it doesn't go well. There are some months that we don't make the progress that we would hope to make. But overall, we're doing the things that are pushing us in the direction where we're honoring God first, we're preparing for the future, and we're experiencing that lack of stress that a budget can bring. Yeah, and I'm always looking at ways that I can cut back or postpone a purchase, hoping the price will go down. Well, I don't know anybody that can stretch money as far as you can. No, I mean that in the right sense. You take joy in that, and that's one of the things I've had to adjust to in my own life in terms of being comfortable with that. The way I shop is, to me, it's a waste of time. So I walk in the store, look for what I want, buy it in about five minutes, and have them deliver it.

You wouldn't even imagine that. No, no. You know, you're going to prepare for that trip. You're gonna know what you're looking for. You're gonna have done your research. You're probably gonna find it. You're gonna see when it's coming on sale, what you can do to save money in purchasing that item, and then wait even longer. I was gonna say, or just pretend I don't need it, just live without it. Yeah, look at it a while and say, oh, we can live without it. So there's people listening who are thinking it's just not gonna happen for them. And I remember realizing in our life that there's actually a bell curve to consumption. When you get married, you're young, and you don't recognize it, but everything in front of you for a couple of decades, you have to consume more. And I call it going into the plastic phase of life, where you gotta buy the high chair, the stroller, the car carriers, the little things for your children. All of that just accumulates. Legos are everywhere, and it's just buy, buy, buy. And before you know it, it's like there is no margin. But if you establish those disciplines early, like we wish we had of, you can get through the steep phase

of the consumption part of your life, and then it starts to plateau. And up near the top, the children start to leave and go on their own, and suddenly the demands go down, the expenses go down. And then on the other side of that curve, you're not having to buy a lot. In fact, we're at that getting rid of stage, and you make a lot of financial progress during that stage. So there's hope for people who are not there right now. They're not there today. Just remember that bell curve. Just do the things that are important every single day. Be faithful. And if I were to just summarize, and you can help me sort of remember some of the things we said here, and number one is to be on the same page. Just agree with each other. Work towards agreement. And pray together. Yeah, and express what you really want. Verbalize an improved future, a desired future. Verbalize something that you really, really long for in your marriage, in your life, things you want to accomplish, so that you're doing this with a purpose. I would say, secondly, write it down and know where you are. Never lose track of where you are.

Don't get behind on tracking your receipts or recording it on a spreadsheet. Whatever methodology. Do the discipline early. Set it up where it's somewhat automatic. Like the bank account method. It just sort of is automatic. And then develop a discipline, which is the ability to say no. And discipline will pay dividends for the rest of your life. And one thing is by waiting, you allow God to work. And sometimes things are provided just out of the blue. A friend will give you something or unexpected money comes in to pay for it. Well, we've heard that over and over. I mean, I remember the family who, I don't remember, they had eight or 10 children and one of them was a concert pianist and they wanted a grand piano and the father was like, no way, no way. You know, we'll never have a grand piano. And they began to pray about it as a family and a friend of the family said, look, I've got a piano that doesn't fit in my house anymore. Could you use it? And it was the perfect Steinway Grand that all of their children used and they never had to buy it.

Right. They all got to learn to play and practice, and God provides if we wait. So Anne, thanks for sharing. We've done our best at it. We would say we're still, there's times that we struggle, there's times that we don't do it as well as we can talk about doing it, but overall we've made great progress and we hope this has been encouraging to others. Yes, thanks for including me. It's been fun.