Your Suffering Is Not the End of Your Story

of encouraging you to keep going no matter how hard it is and to show you how loved you are by your Heavenly Father. This week I have the honor of sharing with you Jessie's story. Jessie graduated with her master's degree in counseling and had an amazing career at a local school. She was living the dream life until one day everything around her began to crumble. Her fears took over and she turned to drugs to get through. Before long she found herself sneaking contraband into a jail and then ended up there herself. Jessie went from never being in trouble to being a convicted felon watch to see how God used her mistakes to change lives. So tell me a little bit about yourself. Well my name is Jessie. I am now currently the program director and the IP therapist for True Purpose Ministry. I went to the program and graduated there two years ago. So I'm very thankful for where the Lord has brought me today but it didn't always start off that way. I did not have, I had a pretty decent childhood. I mean it was really good. I had a mom who loved me and I had a dad but he wasn't in my life really and on a consistent basis until I was five years old. And then she married my stepdad who is the one who raised me who you know taught me how to cut my shoe, how to drive my car, all those kinds of good things. So I didn't really realize that how much of him not being in my life those first five years was important until I got older. I went through school, graduated high school, you know like I said pretty normal life, nothing too dramatic or anything like that. I went all to school. I graduated from East Tennessee State University with a degree in marketing. I had absolutely no intention of ever teaching school because my parents were both in education but I had the opportunity to teach marketing at the high school that I went to. So I did that and then I just thought I was going to go back to school and that was something else where I was not going to do. I was like I had to read it from East Tennessee State but the Lord opened the door for me to go to Carson Newman. I went to Carson Newman and got my master's in school counseling and then I was in school cancer for three years. And then at that point I lost my job and then I found out that my son's father who was cheating on me and he had another girl pregnant. So that is when I was about 35 at that time that I thought it would be a good idea to smoke meth on the weekend. So that's when that started and then it just progressively it got worse and then at the end of my addiction I was an Ivy drug user. So throughout all that time you know I didn't realize that until later on but you know those fears of abandon those things that just not ever being good enough and just that struggle that the drugs thing to quiet at that term. So I would do that. I would go to work. I was a counselor through youth villages and I'm not

sure if anybody would be familiar with that but it is a place where people go to the homes to try to keep children in the home or transition the kids back from being in DCS custody. So here I was getting high. I was going in going to work thinking that nobody knew what was going on. Did that for several several years. I didn't realize how much of a toll that it was taking on me and my body because I would just wanted to know how I felt because I didn't know how to fix all those things. And at that time that was just what that's what did it. So fast forward just a little bit and towards the end of my addiction I was with someone that we thought that it'd be this real breakfast game to be able to use my youth villages ID to go into the jail. And I would meet face to face with this person and I would drop off contraband to them and I would walk right on the door. Did this several times and in the very last time it didn't work. Someone had said I was coming and they searched me. So here all of my life all the things that I had worked for were gone. I was now homeless. I was jobless and went from never being in trouble a day in my life to now I'm a convicted felon. So the you know I have really good intentions of wanting to stop the drugs. I really did. But going through something like that and going right back to the same people. I mean it's almost like the only way I can describe it is like a hamster wheel. It's just doing the same thing expecting a different and So I got out of jail and ended up like I said, for about a year, so I was homeless. Here I was an educated person, living on the street with whoever, whatever, sayin' old people, couches, even a time that I stayed in the back of a car one time was so blunt because I had nowhere else to go. Yeah, wow. So what changed? Well, at that time, like I said, I got convicted and I was doing the same thing because my probation officer was not going to, wasn't drug screening me at the time. So I kept doing what I always did.

And then he called me on a Friday and was like, "Hey, I need you to come into the office on Monday." Well, my, you know, mind was already like, "What can I do? What can I do?" And I thought, "Well, if I stop now when I go in, then everything will be okay." But there was several times throughout that that I was just tired. I was just exhausted. Like I was just, I was over everything. So I went into his office that Monday and I told him, I was like, "I'm gonna fail this drug screen." And he was like, "Okay." So I went ahead and took the drug screen. I had sailed it, but he, again, all this is being orchestrated by the Lord and I had no idea. So he let me walk out of there. I had had some encounters with True Purpose through a previous relationship. And I'd even tried to get in to Bonnour, but unfortunately at that time, it just wasn't throughout time because I wasn't pregnant or anything like that. So I ended up going to a visitation and I was like, "Do I need to go? Do I want to go?" You know, I don't know. I was getting back into finding my way with the Lord and what he wanted for my life.

So at that time, that Monday, I go to the probation office and I failed the drug screen. He lets me out and then I was like, "Okay, what am I gonna do?" So he calls like the next day and he's like, "Well, you need to get your affairs in order. "There's been a warrant issued for your arrest." Yeah. So I was like, "Okay." And I've always joked that God needs to give me like a big orange sign. It says, "This is what you need to do." So I knew at that time, I needed to go. So that happened then and then on a Tuesday, I was picked up by the girls at CR at the May canvas and that was what began my surrendering. I walked into there saying, "Karen, what in the world have I done?" Because one, I had never been to treatment. I had never done any of those things. But that was the beginning of my surrender. That was the beginning of God recreating who were reprogramming me to what he designed me to be. Because I was so of the world and did not realize that and how much I had fed that soul of mine through the hurt, the pain, the things, everything, like down to the music that I listened to. And then going into that program was almost even a shock at first

because the people that were over me at that time were younger than me. And I was like, "Do you not leave an end? "What is this all about?" But I'm thankful for there today. And like I said, that's where the Lord really began to work and do the things in my life. So with that being said, I go through the program and then ended up working for True Purpose. I was the house director in Severeville, but I still have that passion and what the Lord has, I feel like the Lord has designed me as to be a therapist, counselor. And I wanted to use that degree. But if you'll keep in mind, I was also a felon. So now I can't ever go back into the school system. So I felt like a long time that the enemy had sold that for me, but the Lord has made beauty for the ashes that I created because now I get to use that degree to be able to help people who are just like me. - To me. - Yeah. - I love how because that-- - Yeah. - And I love how you became what you needed, right? You said you went through all this trauma or these abandonment issues and a counselor would have been really helpful. - Yeah. - At that time, right?

- Yeah. - But either you didn't reach out or you didn't find one, but now the Lord has made you that for someone else. - Yeah. - And that's so beautiful how he does that. - He is. - Wow. Your story is very unique in that your addiction started so much later in your life you weren't. Most of the stories, it's a teenager in high school. So I love that you're willing to share that, that you had a job like you were a professional, you had an education. The enemy is still attacking, right? A job and education, a career, a family, like none of those things shield you that that you're helping people through that very thing. What is the number one piece of advice you think that you give people who were where you were? What would you have liked to have heard when you were living in that whole life step? That I'm loved, that they are loved, no matter where they're at, no matter who they are, no matter what they have done. It doesn't matter how bad that you may think that you are. You're not a bad person. I wasn't a bad person. I made some bad decision, right? But that doesn't make me a bad person. And they, you know, they're loved. And I just can't, you know, the God has called us to love each other. And just because someone doesn't look like me or doesn't act like me, or whatever doesn't mean that he's not called me or placed that person in my life, not to show them love. And love does not mean that I allow someone to run over me. And it doesn't mean that he's wants us to be a doormat to someone. Because sometimes the hardest thing to do is to say I love you, but I can't continue to do this because the road you're on versus the road that the Lord has in y'all are just, are two different places, right? Or sometimes that love looks like turns into accidentally enabling someone. Yeah. And don't set those years boundaries and those guidelines. And that's what we like to talk

about in this series as well. Because we have no doubt that the Lord loves his children dearly. But a lot of people do question whether that they're loved because they don't understand what real love is. They're basing their understanding of love on what the world says love is or what feels like. And so can you, that you touched on it, but just talk a little more about what did love look like to you when you were living in addiction or in the world prior to your addiction versus today? Sure. Previously, I think love looks like what someone could do for me or that I could do for someone else. Yes, I believe that acts of kindness are very much a part of love. But before it was more of, you know, I love you because I can get what I need from you. Today, love is about loving people and actually loving them where they are. And it's not about trying to change someone. It's not about trying to make that person someone that they're not. It's just about genuinely caring for other people. And just because, you know, I may not walk on this exact road, doesn't mean that, you know, I can't learn something and love people where they are. Jesse, is there anything else that I didn't ask you or that you wanted to share or didn't get a chance to say? I think one thing I would love for people to know is to reach out first for help. And that is no sign of being weak because that I think that if I would have had that ability or know what to do, then maybe, I don't know. I mean, the Lord had me on a path and that's okay that sometimes it's just about not knowing how to do that and not how to say, hey, I need some help or hey, I'm struggling today. Just for instance, like yesterday, I had a friend call. I was like, hey, are you okay? And I was like, do you want me to tell you the truth or do you already have a life? You were like, no, I really want you to know that I'm struggling. And just because I had the Lord in my life today doesn't mean that there aren't days I don't struggle. But he didn't call me to do this alone. He's placed people in my life. And I need to continue to reach out to them and say, hey, I'm struggling with this today. And each time I've done that, I've been there. I would love Jesus. It's great. Reach out and build a community. It sounds like you've built a community of other people that are enough about you to know, hey, I should call and see how she's doing it today. Yeah, absolutely. That's good. That's great. Goodbye. Thank you for that. And thank you for for sharing that. I think it's so important to remind people how loved they are and to see other people's journeys. Because I know there are other people out there who are struggling that have a story similar to yours or at least who relate to the way that you feel and and they're looking to see that there is a chance that I could overcome this. And so

your story is going to reach those people and help them know that. Thank you. Yeah. Because they're leveling to shit. Three years ago, I came into that forever at Homeland. And today, I have a home. I have a job of a productive neighborhood society. It's amazing. Yeah, I love what God can do. Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't that an inspiring story? It is amazing to see how God created And now she can counsel people and help them overcome the very challenges that she faced. God is so good and he always makes beauty from ashes. Jesse is currently a counselor at True Purpose Ministries. If you have never heard of them, I encourage you to look them up. They are a faith-based rehabilitation program that through the power of Jesus Christ is changing lives every single day. Join us next week to hear another encouraging story and be sure to subscribe or follow so you never miss an episode. Most importantly, I pray that you know that no matter how far you or someone you love have run from God, it is never too late. There is always hope because you are loved. [BLANK_AUDIO]