Can You Really Forgive Someone Who Isn't Sorry? | Katie Hauck

We just love those who are incarcerated so much and we believe that God still has a plan for them and a path for their lives. And they just need some people to give them a chance, right? And so we just wanna reach them with the gospel because they are not beyond God's reach. And so we just love them. And so again, my name is Katie Hawk and it sounds like I'm bragging here, but guys, it's really hard for me to go this long between what I just said and what I'm about to say. I promise I'm not. I'm a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. I'm a wife, a mom, a business owner, and a social media influencer, okay? I put videos about Jesus on YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, among others, okay? And I wanted you to hear tonight what people are saying about my social media, okay? Are you ready? You are crazy. Bleep you, you stupid bleep. Take your schizomedicine. If Jesus loved you, he wouldn't have given you such a face. You make Christians cringe, you dumb idiot. Shut up, lady, you are the reason that Christians are hated. You are uneducated without a functional brain and can't prove anything to anyone. I hope you get a brain aneurysm, you fake hag. This one's my favorite.

First Timothy 2.12, women are supposed to be quiet in the church. Yep. I imagine hell is just your videos on repeat. Shame on you for using Jesus just to get more views. Did you eat lead paint or did your parents drop you on your head a lot? You need to get a man or a hobby and get off social media. You should kill yourself. Those are just a few of the nicer comments that I have received. And do you know why people say these things? Because people are mean. Okay, let's be real, people are mean. Okay, especially when you're in ministry. How many people in this room feel called to go into ministry? I see a lot of hands, that's amazing. Okay, let me ask you another question. How many people in here has had God do something amazing in your life? Okay, I should see every hand, right? Okay, so if you've had God do something amazing, you may or may not know this, but your job is to tell other people what God did and help bring them to the knowledge of Jesus Christ, which I hate to tell you means that you have also been called into ministry, okay? So ministry is hard because people are in it and people are mean, okay?

Second Timothy, a verse I do love out of Second Timothy 3, chapter 12 says, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. It says everyone, okay? And when I say persecution, I wanna be clear because there are people out there who are being persecuted in ways that we cannot even begin to understand, right? I have read stories of men and women who are killed for their faith, who have watched their families die, right? And we should all be deeply troubled for them and we should pray for those people regularly, right? Who's thankful we live in a country where we don't have to suffer that kind of persecution. But let me define persecution for you. The definition is hostility and ill treatment because of our faith. So when you experience freedom in Jesus Christ, your freedom makes other people feel judged, even if you're not judging them. And when they feel judged, they become offended and that offense causes them to lash out and then they're hostile and treat you poorly, which actually means by definition, you are being persecuted when that happens, okay? When I first felt called to start ministry, right? I spoke with some people and they're like, girl, you better have some thick skin.

And I thought, okay, listen, I'm a stepmom, I'm a landlord and I've married a successful man 15 years older than me. There is nothing that you can say to me that I have not already heard. There is no gossip, there are no new lies, there's no new names you could call me, right? I was very wrong, okay? Peter tells us in 1 Peter 14, now listen, if you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed for the spirit of glory and God rests on you. And listen to what Jesus says in Matthew five, okay? He says, blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad when those things happen because great is your reward in heaven. You are blessed, rejoice. and be glad. But how many of you know sometimes it's hard to rejoice and be glad and feel blessed when you're being persecuted, right? I had someone threaten to kill my entire family on social media. How do you rejoice in that, right? How do you be glad and say, thank you, God, for those things, right? Well, let me tell you. But first I want to share this story of this pastor. This was a pastor that I'd heard about quite a few years ago, and he was becoming very popular. His church was growing. He was doing great things for the Lord, but this well-known man came against him. This well-known man was an atheist, okay? And this atheist started publicly mocking him and making fun of him and saying really horrible things to him. And one day, as he's making fun of God and saying how God's not even real, he said to this pastor, if God is real, tell him to strike me blind. And so this pastor did what every pastor would have done, right? He started praying that God would make that man go blind. So he said he was praying and praying, God, make him blind. God,

take away his sight. God, strike him down, right? All these things, right, that probably were not actually what he should be praying. But he was praying and praying and praying, and the guy kept mocking him and taunting, and the pastor kept praying, and nothing was happening. And one day, the pastor cried out to God, and he said, God, why won't you do something? Why won't you prove yourself to this man and all of the people watching? God, why won't you just make him blind? And God said, because he already is. Second Corinthians 4 forces, the God of this age, you know who that is? Who's the God of this age? The God of this age is Satan. It says, Satan has blinded the minds of the unbelievers so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. That man was already blind, and so are those people commenting on social media. So are those people who hurt you. Guys, we have to change our perspective. Our people mean yes, right? But it's not a matter of having thick skin so we can deal with them. It's a matter of seeing them the way that God sees them, as seeing them as blind. Because when you see them as blind, you can suddenly have compassion and grace and mercy and forgiveness for them. I want you to imagine that you're in New York City, and you walk up to an intersection, and it is busy, and there is traffic everywhere. And all of a sudden, this boy comes up, and even though the crosswalk says stop, this boy, he's blind, and he has a cane, and he starts to cross the street, right? And you yell at him, stop, stop, you can't cross the street. And he says, leave me alone. And he starts to walk. Do you let him cross? Do you think, well, that kid's kind of a jerk, go ahead and get hit? No! You grab him, and you pull him back. But what if when you're trying to pull him back, he begins to flail his arm and fight with you, and he's throwing punches, right? Now are you going to let him go and be like, fine, you're mean. I'm gonna let you go get hit by a car. No, you're gonna grab onto him and hold this child and do whatever it takes to stop him from crossing that road, right? At least I hope you would do that. Because this child, this boy, this blind person cannot see the danger that's in front of him, but you can. He's blind, you can see. As we are living in a world where we are surrounded by the blind, they have no idea what's coming. They have no idea what that enemy is doing, and we have to change our perspective so we can see them that way. Now you are not responsible for fixing them. You're not responsible for their salvation. That's not your job. That's God's job. But your job is to hold on, to love them anyway, and to point them toward Jesus in every situation. But we live in this society that's so me focused, right? We say things like, well, they can't say that to me. How dare they think that

about me? Oh, they can't do that to me. And then we become offended by them, and I am convinced that offense is Satan's greatest tool, right? If he can just get people to say mean things to us, then we become offended, and we stop trying to talk to them about Jesus. And it's that easy. Satan wins. But remember, I said you are called into ministry. You are called to tell people about Jesus. So my question is, are you going to let offense stop you? In your offense, are you going to let blind people cross the busy road? Or are you going to come to a place where you can just walk in forgiveness? And guys, I mean forgiveness on so many levels. There are people that we need to forgive that have done evil, horrible things to us. People who have hurt us deeply, and that may take us some time to recover from. In those situations, forgiveness is a choice that you have to make, but healing is a process that could take some time. But what about the little things? Do you know every single day you have an opportunity to get angry? We live in a world where it is quick to blame, quick to get mad, and really quick to call our friends and vent, right? But what if we got to a place where we didn't just need to forgive those little offenses, we actually just didn't get offended, right? So much of our daily offense starts with setting an expectation that you never even said out loud. You expected someone to remember something. You expected your spouse to meet your need without having to ask. You expected your kids to act differently. You expected your friend to take your side. You expected your family to show up when you needed them. You expected people to appreciate the things that you're doing. But every one of those unmet expectations is just a setup for offense. When you expect someone else, another human, to meet your needs, what you're doing is trying to make them God, and they can't do that. There's another trap we get ourselves in. We read the Bible, and then we use it to grade other people, right? Well, he needs to hear that.

Boy, I wish this girl over here would hear that. Well, I should send this short to this person over here. They need that. But the Bible was written for you so that when you read it, you take an honest look at yourself and see where you measure up. It's written so you can know who you are. It's written so that you know what you are called to do. Loving your neighbor, that's your job. Forgiving, that's something you're called to do. And what if we could just love people the way Paul tells us to? This is even deeper. Ready for this? 1 Corinthians 13 5. Love does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. And ready for this? It keeps no record of wrongs. No record of wrongs. It doesn't replay in your mind how someone mistreated you. It doesn't replay the hurtful things they said to you. It doesn't replay scenarios and conversations over and over so you can think about what you'll say different next time to show them, right? It just lets go. It just forgives. And then guess what happens? Satan loses. Now, you've heard me say this before, and I'm going to say it again. God is a three-part being, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We were created in His image, so that makes us what? A three-part being also, right?

We are body, soul, and spirit. When you die, your body will return to the dust of this earth. If you've accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, your spirit is sealed, and it is headed to heaven when you die. But your spirit has a soul. Your soul is your mind, your will, and your emotions, okay? It determines whether you walk according to your flesh or whether you walk according to your spirit. This is all described in Galatians 5. If this doesn't make sense to you, you've never heard this before, go read Galatians 5, okay? If you are saved and the enemy can no longer get your spirit, then he's going to attack your soul. He's going to fight for control over your mind, your will, and your emotions. And he does that by making you feel bad, by making you feel hurt, by making you angry, by other people making accusations, or you making accusations against someone else, by causing you to hate someone instead of just loving them. He's going to try to make you live in offense, unforgiveness, and bitterness. Guys, it is really easy for the enemy to manipulate the mind of the unbeliever. Let's stop making it so easy for him to manipulate us, right? Let's get to a place where we can love people the way Christ loved us while we were still sinners. Okay, I want to show you something. This is a jar of water. This water represents what we look like the day we're born. We are precious and beautiful and clean and pure, yet we sin.

And we sin a little more. And we sin a little more. And we sin every day until this is what our life looks like. It gets harder and harder to see. Can you see through that glass anymore? The deeper we are in sin, the harder it is to see our way out because our minds are blinded by the enemy. Imagine this is someone you know. This is someone who hurt you. This is someone who was mean to you, and offended you, and forgot about you, and rejected you. If you can picture that their minds are like this, if you can picture them as blind, how can you hate them? But guess what happens if we introduce them to Jesus Christ? Can you guys see this? Can you see this? Amen. Praise God. Praise God. Wow. Wow. Thanks a lot. Woo-hoo. Woo, yeah. Yes, Lord, thank you. Look at that. Gonna add a little more Jesus. We need all these things. That's right. That's a whole thing.

I know, right? Jesus purifies them, and the light can come through. People can see. People experience freedom. Isn't that awesome? So beautiful. First John 1.9, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Psalm 51.7, purify me from my sins, and I will be clean. Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Who is grateful that Jesus Christ does that for us? But here's the sad thing. It's not just unbelievers who can be mean. Believers can be mean too, right? Some of our greatest hurts come from within the church. That dark color, sin, right? This is iodine. Now that this glass is clear, are we back to water? Could I drink this? No, I could die, because Jesus was bleach, okay? So we can't drink this, even though it looks clear, right? The iodine, the sin, it's still technically there, okay? Just like our desire to sin, even when we get saved, is still technically there, because we live in fallen bodies, and we have flesh still. God sees us as holy, and righteous, and pure. He says we are a new creation, but that doesn't mean we don't sin, and that doesn't mean there aren't consequences

from previous sin, right? We do not suddenly become perfect in our actions, because the blood of Jesus covered us. He sees us as perfect, but we still make bad choices. Am I right? Okay, so neither are other believers perfect in their actions, yet sometimes we look at the sin of other people, and we focus on the iodine, right? We notice what God no longer sees. We think about what God no longer sees. We recall what God no longer sees. We focus on what God no longer sees, but we need to be so filled with Jesus ourselves that we see people as holy, and righteous, and pure, just like he sees them, even though their sin is still there. That's right. So a few years ago, I was dealing with people, and there were some people that were hurting me, and it hurt my feelings, and rejected me, and so I was dealing with some unforgiveness, and some bitterness, and I started praying this prayer, and I don't know if the Lord just gave it to me. I don't know if I heard someone else say, I don't know where I'm working from, but I started praying, Lord, give me your eyes. Yeah, I'm sure it was the Holy Spirit, amen. Lord, give me your eyes, so I can see people the way you see them, so that I can love them the way you love them, and I prayed that prayer

over, and over, and over, and over, probably 10,000 times, and one day, I'm sitting in my prayer closet, and I'm just sort of crying because of this situation, and I start praying that, and all of a sudden, I opened my eyes, and guys, I wasn't in my closet anymore. I was in a city. I was sitting on a park bench, and it was busy. There were people everywhere, and the colors were vivid, and bright, and there were women carrying their shopping bags, skipping along, and laughing with their friends. There were children behind me in a park, playing, right, and everyone was laughing, and everyone was enjoying life, and I'm thinking, where am I, and I look over, and Jesus was sitting next to me on the park bench, and I noticed Jesus was wearing glasses, and I thought to myself, well, that's weird. Jesus has perfect vision. Why does he need glasses? But before I could ask, and without saying anything, he took the glasses off of his face, and he put them on mine, and you know, it changed everything. All of a sudden, the color was dim. All of a sudden, those women that were laughing with their friends were dragging their shopping bags behind them. All of a sudden, those kids that were playing in the park were laying on the ground in tears. And I could see this darkness in the people's heart,

this gray spot right here where their heart should be. And I knew that the Lord was giving me his eyes. And I knew that he was letting me see people the way he saw them, as broken, not what I saw on the outside, not what they portrayed, but as what he saw in their hearts, as pain and hurt and brokenness, right? Barely making it through the day, this pain and that vision changed how I look at people everywhere. It gave me compassion that I didn't have on my own. But he was showing me if I could look past the stains of their sin and love them and show them grace and offer them forgiveness because of their brokenness, then I was seeing them the way he was and I was loving them the way that he was. Jesus covers our sins. Guys, and we're supposed to cover the sin of others too. But you know, sometimes that goes both ways. You can be purified and clean before the Lord and you can know that you are redeemed and forgiven and your sins have been forgiven, but other people may not accept that yet. Anyone in here dealt with that? Yeah, other people may still be focused on your iodine, right, they may still be looking at your sin. They might not believe that you're a peer. They might not accept this new life that you have, right? They may be offended by your freedom to talk about Jesus.

They may be stuck on the things that you've done in the past. They may call you names and they may spread rumors about you and they may not want you in their lives right now or trust you and that's okay. You have to love them and forgive them anyway. And sometimes you may have to repent for some of the things that you did because like I said, it doesn't always remove the consequences even though you can see clearly, right? Matthew 5, 23 and 24. Therefore, if you're offering your gift at the altar, you know this one, we read it earlier today. And remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift at the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift, right? This verse is part of one of Jesus's most famous sermons ever. It's called the Sermon on the Mount. It's in Matthew 5, okay? Do you know what other verses from Matthew 5, the Sermon on the Mount? The same one we read when we started tonight. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. You see in the book of Matthew when Jesus is giving this sermon,

he's talking to a group of Jewish farmers and laborers who have been oppressed for a long time. And these people are tired of being bullied and made fun of and mocked and mistreated, right? But Jesus is telling them everything they want to do the way they want to do it, right? The way they want to respond to people, the fact that they want to defend themselves, the fact that they want to get back at others, the fact that they think they deserve to hold a grudge. All of that is wrong. He's saying to his followers, stop responding and acting like the people of this world because you are no longer of this world, right? The most important things we do for Jesus are not the religious activities, okay? The most important thing isn't showing up to church. It's not. The most important thing is the way we treat people and love them, especially when we are the ones who are wrong. Can we love people when they persecute us and say false things about us? Can we show people grace when they are hateful? Can we prioritize reconciliation even when we don't feel like it? Can we overlook their sin and pray like Jesus did, Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. Amen. Guys, celebrate recovery.

Principle six says evaluate all of my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I've done to others. Accept when to do so would harm them or others. This means first and foremost, you have to accept that you have been made clean. You are pure, holy, and righteous. You are a new creation in Jesus Christ. And then once you accept that, God says, now start acting like it. Start seeing people the way Jesus sees them. Start seeing people the way that he saw you. Recognize their blindness. Show them compassion and grace. Forgive them the way that you were forgiven by your heavenly Father. Not only is this required, as it will bring you freedom and peace like you've never experienced before. I'm not saying you're excusing what they did to you. It was wrong. But what you are doing is choosing to let God handle it. Also, I want you to think about how does God forgive? you when you mess up, when you fall. Does he kind of hold it over your head for a little while? Does he tell you, ask forgiveness a few more times, maybe come back and see me in a couple weeks? No, he doesn't forgive you eventually, he forgives you immediately, right? And if God forgives us immediately, how quickly should we forgive others? How long should we hold on to someone else's offense? Should it be for days, weeks? What about the offenses we've held on for years? Guys, it's time to let those go. Remember, you will never have to forgive

someone else more than God has forgiven you. Let's pray. Lord God, thank you for every person in this room. Lord God, thank you for them being here. Lord, thank you for this service. Thank you for everyone who showed up and served. Lord, thank you for what it takes to get this to run. Lord, thank you in advance for the healing that's going to happen in this room tonight. Thank you for the hearts that are gonna forgive and let things go. Lord, thank you for reaching into the deepest pits of their pain and healing those broken parts so that they can offer forgiveness, love, and mercy and grace to the people that truly hurt them. Lord, let them feel your comfort. God, let them see themselves the way you see them as holy and precious and beautiful. When they look in the mirror, Lord, let them know that they are a precious son or daughter of yours, that you have a plan and a purpose for their life. God, that your plan is good. Lord, I pray for opportunities for them to practice that ministry where they get to tell others about Jesus Christ. And I pray that every little offense that comes against them, big and little, Lord, that they forgive it quickly, that you give them that power and that strength because we know that you are mighty and that your power lives in us. And greater is that power than he who is in the world, Lord, who has blinded our minds in the past and blinded the minds of the people who hurt us. Bless them abundantly, exceedingly more than they could ask or imagine. And thank you. Thank you for who you are. Thank you for what you've done. And thank you for your son, Jesus Christ. And it's in his name we pray. Amen.