Week 1 | “Why Do I Keep Ending Up Here?”

Great to have you. Big shout out to our Willow locations and as always, big shout out to our brothers who joined us from the Jefferson City Correctional Center. Great to have you guys here with us. Willow, I'll tell you, I got the chance to travel to the Jefferson City Correctional Center just a couple of weeks ago. God is on the move at JCCC. I mean, really, you'd be so proud of the work that's happening there. We get to share it with you actually in a couple of months. We record some things. We'll share it with you when we're able to. It's the guys that are there. I just wanna say this. Keep showing up. Keep loving Jesus. Keep loving people. Keep leading strong. Keep being faithful. God is doing a great work in you. We're so grateful that you're part of the Willow family. But we are launching into a new series that we're calling It's Complicated. And it's all about relationships. I don't know what your journey is like, but sometimes relationships can have a little complexity to them, right? That they don't always go exactly the way

that we thought that they might. And the reason that there is complexity is it's what happens when you take two imperfect, two sinful people, you pull them together, you stir the pot a little bit, it can create some complexity. And oftentimes what you even see on the surface is actually not the real issue. The complexity actually lies with a thing beneath the thing. Is that we're going to dive into a little bit more of what that looks like? But it kind of reminds me of this idea. When I was 19 years old, I was working for an organization that was based out of San Diego, California. They were building homes in Tijuana, Mexico. And so every day as I interned for this organization, during the week, I would spend the weeks in Tijuana building homes. And on the weekends, we had popped back to San Diego, washed our clothes, pick up the next group before taking it back in to build homes. I loved the summer. It was an amazing, is life-changing experience for me. Now, there's about 15 interns, but I was one of only two drivers, which meant any time that one of the company vehicles need to be driven, I was the one who was responsible for it. Now, there's one particular week that we had a medical incident,

that we had to seek out some medical attention for a member of a group. And anytime it wasn't like a life-threatening emergency, we would actually go back to San Diego, just a little bit more confident in the medical care that we could bring to somebody and that their insurance might actually come into play. And so I was asked to take this person back to San Diego, and so I got in the van, and we drove back to San Diego. The challenge is, it was later at night, so when we were coming back, the typical border that I would cross was closed. If you know anything about the border crossings there, there's actually multiple border crossings from San Diego into Tijuana. We typically went across the Otay Mesa border crossing. Now, it's a 24/7 border crossing today, back when I was 19 years old, it was close, I think it closed at 8 p.m. And so it was after 8 p.m. We were making our way back, which meant I couldn't cross the border that I was most familiar with, that I'd done literally dozens and dozens and dozens of times. I had to go through the main border. I had done it maybe twice. And so I thought I remembered the way back home. I thought I knew how to get to the camp, but I was kind of going on gut instinct. The challenge is, 30 years ago, there is no iPhone,

there is no GPS, there is no the things that the technology we have today. I'm going on sheer instinct. And so across the main border, it dumped you into downtown Tijuana. I took the right that I thought I needed to take, I took the left that I thought I needed to take, there's a roundabout that I thought this took the second exit. I thought I was working good. Until somehow in some way, I found myself continuing to circle this roundabout that had this statue. And I saw this statue over and over again. It was like warrior statue. The challenge is, I knew that I wasn't where I was supposed to be. I didn't have any like compass to know exactly where to go. And so I looked up and all the signs are obviously in Spanish. I don't know a lot of Spanish. I recognized two English words, San Diego. And so I thought, well, maybe I'll just go back to San Diego. I'll start back and then maybe I will figure it out next time. And so I tried for attempt number two. The last time I took a right, this time I'm going to take a left. And I took different turns. I took a different route to find out. I found myself circling the exact same roundabout, even though I went a totally different way. I followed the signs back to San Diego. I tried for a third time. I took a third route that was a different route.

I found my same warrior friend eventually. I mean, it was kind of this same loop going to the same landmark over and over again. And I find that sometimes that's our experience relationally. In other words, we've come out of a relationship where we've had existing relationships in the past, whatever they might have looked like. and yet it's the same argument, it's the same tension, it's the same outcome. It's almost like I'm circling the same kind of relational landmark over and over again. I see it in people sometimes in a work environment, they'll go to two, three, four different jobs, they have relational tension all along the way, different environment, different circumstances, same outcome. You see it in dating relationships, boyfriends, girlfriends, they, you know, different relationships, I left this relationship to a different one, and this relationship to a different one, different relationships, different circumstances, same tension, same arguments, same outcome. Sometimes you see it in marriages as well. Even those who sometimes will experience three in four marriages, because there's something about these relational loops that we sometimes can find ourselves in, it's complicated. But here's where I want to push us a little bit today, is when we find ourselves kind of circling familiar relationship landmarks, we at least need to pause long enough to ask the question. This is the common denominator, me, I want to be careful, because I'm in no way suggesting that every relational mishap is all our fault. Certainly, we've experienced harm by the hands of somebody else, the words that they spoke, the difficulty that they brought in, I'm not suggesting in any way that everything's always our fault, but sometimes we find ourselves in similar relational patterns and it should open our eyes to recognize there's got to be something that I've got to take a deep look within me. Today is going to be a little bit more of an introspection as we think about relationships and the complexity of relationships.

I want to take us to a Psalm that David roped, book of Psalms, chapter 139, it's actually a fairly well-known Psalm. Now, if you think about David, David was the greatest king in all of Israel, he was known as a man after God's own heart, he had some amazing victories, he had some terrible failures. But what I love about Psalm 139, it is this very vulnerable, very open look where he allows God to examine his own heart. So, he didn't write Psalm 139 as a relationship template by any stretch of the imagination. But I think there's something about how Psalm 139 ends, this prayer that he prays that if we were willing to apply this prayer to our life, I actually think we might see something different in our lives, in our relationships. Let me read it for you, Psalm 139, last two verses of Psalm 139 says this, David's writing, he says, "Search me God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts." He says, "See if there's any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting." There's actually four prompts in here from David as he takes this introspective look at his own journey. And if you read the entire Psalm, you know that the Psalm is really based on the thought that God loves him, God cares about him, God knows him. And so, because that's true, he can do a self-examination. And there's actually four prompts, "Search me, know me, test me, lead me." And it's actually those prompts that I think will serve all of us if we're willing to apply them to our own lives in our own relationships. So, let's take that journey. Here's the first prompt, David wrote this, he says, "Search me." I think it kind of gets to this question, "What am I caring?" It may be, "What am I caring into relationships?" It takes back to the Psalm 139, it shows right up in the text, it just simply says, "Search me, God." And it's just kind of powerful introspective of David as he's asking God to search him. Now, notice what he doesn't say. He doesn't say, "Ask God to search somebody else."

He doesn't ask God to change the circumstance. He asks God to uncover something inside of himself that he cannot see on his own. Here's what you and I know. We don't show up to new relationships empty-handed. We actually bring with us the history of all of our previous relationships as we show up carrying all kinds of things from our past. And so, we might carry assumptions about how we're going to be treated. We might carry fears about whether we're going to face rejection. We may face pain. We may carry in pain from a previous relationship of whatever that could look like. And we don't even know we're carrying it into the relationship. We discover it when we put up walls immediately. We discover it when we withdraw and give somebody the silent treatment, and it almost happens unexpectedly. It's almost like we didn't see it coming. What reminds me of is this. Next week, some of you know I'm an endurance runner, and so next week I'm gonna take part in this endurance event that's in Park City, Utah. It's gonna be out of the box for me, never done anything quite like it. So pray for me, hopefully I'll be back next week. But as I think about this event, it was about three weeks ago that I was in Park City for a pastor conference, and I stayed over about four days in order to run the mountain trails that are the same mountain trails I'm gonna run in this event.

Now, when you live in Chicago land, there's a lot about the mountain trails that are unfamiliar. I don't get to train at altitude, I'm not used to the elevation climb, I'm not used to the rocky terrain, so getting to spend those four or five extra days was really, really helpful to me to get a gauge of where I was at going to this event next week. Now everything went well, you know, running these trails until the last day. And on the last day I was doing this 15 mile run, I was basically running up the side of this mountain, I was gonna get to the turnaround point and then run down the exact same trail. I was about four miles in, and I was coming out of this clearing, and I saw this big, dark object. Now, when I run, I don't have my glasses on, and so I really can't see a lick. But it wasn't enough, they're like, I don't know what that is, but I don't think that's supposed to be there. And so as I got a little closer, I discovered what it was, it was this big gigantic moose, about, I don't know, five paces off the trail that I intended to run on. Now I'm no dummy, these moose,

they're pretty unpredictable. And so I'm smart enough and wise enough to know I should not run that path. And so I backed away, I got to a safe distance, that's where I took the picture that you see, I took a picture with him over my shoulder, you can see I don't have glasses on, I can't see a lick, but I got to a safe distance. Now what I know about moose is that moose are unpredictable, but I knew, if I were to keep running that path, there's no telling what he would have done to me, right? All I could think about is the viral video of the guy from Yosemite that got thrown by the bison. Do you see this? Like on the news or maybe on social media? If you haven't seen it, I'm gonna show it to you in a moment. Now the reason I'm gonna show it to you is the guy was okay. He survived it, just a little banged up if you haven't seen it. Here's the video, this is all that was playing through my mind. That brother had not run that fast in 30 years, right? It was a bison got him, threw him up in the air, and here's where the internet gets clever. Somebody creatively took the picture of the guy he was flying in the air with his legs spread and made him into the Y of Yellowstone in this shirt. As I'm standing there, a few yards from this moose,

this is all I can think about. And I thought if I run that path, I'm gonna be the Y of Park City, right? Like I gotta, I gotta figure that. There's this unpredictability to how they behave. If we're honest, sometimes there's an unpredictability to all of us in relationships based on what we carry into relationships. That sometimes we act and we react to something, not based on just what's happened, but because of what it triggered in us from all of our past that was brought into. For some of us, we bring family history into our relationships because we were taught as kids like who we could trust and maybe who we couldn't trust. We were taught whether we were going to be cared about or not cared about. Again, what we bring into relationships is we will bring the pain of a previous relationship. And so sometimes because of that, we will see a new relationship and we will filter it through a pain that we've experienced in the past. And we will react much stronger to what's happening in the moment than the moment actually would make some sense. But all we've done is we've triggered the pain that's actually, it's almost unpredictable for us. And we make these series of rules about what we think people will do in this new relationship. We think, well, people will just leave us eventually. We think that getting close to somebody

just means that we're gonna get hurt again or we convince ourselves that we just can't trust anyone And so sometimes there's this unpredictability to our relationships based on what gets triggered in a moment that actually has nothing to do with that moment. And so this prayer of David is a really powerful prayer that he starts by saying, "Search me, God. "Help me see what I can't see." 'Cause it all starts there. I would go as far to say this, that you cannot change what you cannot see. This is what actually starts with just recognizing that all of us have patterns. All of us have history. All of us have things in our journey that if we're not careful, we will bring into new relationships. And so it's this posture by saying, "God, search me. "God, help me see what otherwise I wouldn't be able to see." Here's the second piece. Not just search me, God. The second piece is this, is to know me. In other words, can I let myself be known? Let me take us back to the landing point of the prayer in Psalm 139. Again, David writes this, "Search me, God." And knows what he says next. He says, "Know my heart." He says, "Search me."

But he also says, "Know me." Here's what I want us to know is that the patterns that shape you do not have to define you. In other words, something could have run in your family for generations, but it doesn't have to run any longer in your life. The realities there could have been patterns that have been true for a long time. But that pattern actually doesn't have to dictate who you are and who you become in the ultimate direction of this relationship. Things actually can shift. Now, when David praised this prayer of God to know him, there's something about being known in the presence of our great God. Earlier in Psalm 139, you read these words. Hey, he's talking about God. He says, "For you created me in my innermost being. "You nipped me together in my mother's womb. "I praise you because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made." Now, here's the beauty of being searched and being known by God is that God is the one who thought you up, who knitted you together, who's been present with you in every moment that you've ever possibly been. And God didn't bring you this far to leave you there. A God in his kindness and his grace and his love actually is helping to shape and mold us into we ultimately desire to be. That God is not finished with you.

He didn't bring you there to leave you circling the same statue. I would go also to say this, the gospel is not about healing yourself before God can love you. The gospel message, like the good news of Jesus, is that God loved you enough to step into our brokenness and actually to meet us in our brokenness. And that's actually what makes this self-examination possible. The truth is when you do self-examination in the presence of a loving God, it actually can bring healing. When you do self-examination in isolation, sometimes it can bring shame. You end up just kind of beating yourself up. The problem is not self-examination. The problem is in whose presence are you doing the self-examination. And maybe I'd say it this way. When it comes to self-examination, shame says there's something fundamentally wrong with me. But healing says there's actually something in me that God sees, he understands, and he wants to redeem. God wants to do a great work in us. Let me take you back to Park City. So I see this moose. Again, he's quite a ways away from me. I tried to wait him out, thinking that he might move. I waited there about 10 minutes.

I don't think he moved an inch. And I thought, all right, if I'm gonna continue this run, I've actually gotta find a different route. And so I didn't really exactly know what to do. So I pulled up a map that was on my phone and I recognized that I was doing switchbacks. It's part of how we were climbing this mountain. And I recognized that he was actually pretty close to my next switchback, which meant that I could go to a clearing and I could climb up the steep mountain and actually rejoin the path. It was just probably 100 or 200 feet above me. And so I decided that was gonna be my route. And so I backed up and backtrack maybe an eighth of a mile, maybe a quarter mile. And I wanted to make sure I gave myself a lot of distance from this thing. And then I began this climb up. It was pretty uncomfortable, candidly. It was brushed, maybe up to my chest. It was really, really steep. I was holding onto trees, really trying to climb. I was all cut up when I got to the top, but eventually, I rejoined the path that would eventually lead me forward. In other words, there was a way around the moose, if you will. As I think about that really applicable to my life and to yours, there's a couple of applications with this. One of them when David praised this prayer, "God, search me, and God, know me."

It is about being known by a loving God who can bring healing, but there's also wisdom when it comes to relationships that I can know somebody else's story, and actually in knowing somebody else's story, I can move around the unpredictability that the moose creates in all of our relationship to rejoin a path that helps me move forward. Let me think about it this way. It's real personal and maybe a little bit vulnerable with you in my own life and my own marriage. When it comes to Lynn's and I, we've actually done quite a bit of work in this area. We each bring all kinds of history into our marriage. We did so 22 years ago when we said I do. When I know about Lindsey's story, and she's given me permission to share this, I've even shared some of it before, what's true about Lindsey's story is Lindsey grew up in a great home in a lot of ways, and yet at the same time, her biological father left her household when she was three years old, and that created a deep wound for a young girl, a dad who chose a different family instead of her own. It wasn't just a single moment of rejection for her. There were lots of sporting events that he said that he would show up at, that he never showed up. So seared into her experience as a growing up young woman was a sense of rejection and abandonment that the story that was told over and over and over again to her as a, as a, from her father. Now, I step into this marriage with this woman that I deeply, deeply love, and there are times, you know, in any relationship that, that we don't see eye to eye and there's conflict and we get into some sort of fight and argument early on in our marriage. What I would typically do is if I got emotionally escalated, what I would want to do is to leave the room, because if I leave the room, I won't say anything stupid. Anybody with me? What I didn't know is that early on when I would leave a room, I would trigger that rejection and abandonment piece that's deep within her story, and actually the worst thing that I could do in this relationship is to walk out of that room.

I actually had to learn how to, how to stay in the room and to be present and still not say anything stupid, right? But it's not just her history. It's mine too. I've shared some of this with you before, I know you'll have to use your imagination for those of you who know me, but I was a pretty small kid growing up. I stand a whopping five foot seven, I could kick your tail in the alley today, that's not true. But I was a small kid growing up, and I was picked on a lot growing up, experienced a lot of bullying growing up, I was the kid in junior high that got put in lockers and trash cans. Now, I don't tell you that, so you feel sorry for me. I've actually done a tremendous amount of work for it. I'm very confident in the person that God's created me today. But even as a 48 year old person today, if somebody gets really emotionally escalated, if somebody's coming at me really loud and really aggressively, it triggers something in me, like the 12 year old me comes out, and I either want to get myself out of this situation as quickly as I possibly can, or I want to punch somebody in the throat, neither of which are good options for me, right? Here's why this matters. If I know Lindsay's story and I care about her story, I'm willing to take a very different route to join a new path forward. If Lindsay knows my story and cares about my story, she's willing to take different routes in order to rejoin a path to make things forward. I would describe it this way. It's the difference between being an informed ally versus an accidental aggressor. If we don't know somebody's story and care about somebody's story, we end up being accidental aggressors. But when we know, we can actually be an informed ally sensitive to their story and finding a different way.

And so part of this is how we respond to the other person's story, but part of this is also become very responsible for my own story. Because just because I have a story, and just because I've got things that I've brought into this relationship does not give me an excuse to misbehave, it doesn't give me the The truth is, if I don't allow God to transform my pain, I will often transfer my pain. And so it's my work to make sure that I allow God to transform my pain. So sure, I've got some pain in my story and you do as well. But the challenge that I had over the years is I've got to do work around that pain. I got to find some healing. I got to find some wholeness. I've got to find some new ways to handle myself when I get triggered in a relationship. And so by God's grace, he's brought a ton of healing in my life. By God's grace, if somebody actually comes at me really hard and really aggressively today, I will neither run away nor punch somebody in the throat, God willing. I've actually learned to sit in those moments and actually just take it and have a non-emotional response in a moment 'cause what I found is it actually dissipates the person who's being aggressive and actually gets us to a different place. I didn't get there overnight. There was actually a lot of healing work that's been done.

But when David praised this prayer of God, know me. It really was about knowing God and allowing God to know me, but it also applies to really knowing the other person well in their story. Knowing your own story as well to know how to take a different route to find the same path that will allow you to move forward. I will say it this way. What happened to you isn't your fault, but who you become is your responsibility. What happened to you wasn't your fault, but it doesn't have to dictate your future. You can find a different way when we're willing to take responsibility. So David praised this prayer. God searched me, God know me. Then he says this, God test me. Well, what comes out of me, what comes out of me when I'm under pressure? Here's the passage. So let's go back to Psalm 139. Search me God, know my heart. And then he says, test me and know my anxious thoughts. In other words, there's gonna be a moment that I get back into the situation again. There's gonna be a moment where the heat is turned up again that searching and knowing are not the same thing as changing. That there's a sense that sometimes I go like, I actually think I've come a long way, but it's actually the moment of pressure

that will show how far I've come. I can think that I'm really patient until somebody frustrates me again. I can think that I'm real humble until somebody disagrees with me in front of other people. I can think that I'm forgiving until they do that thing again. I can think that I'm secure until they pull away. I would say this about relationships. Relationships don't just test our love. They actually reveal our hearts. They reveal like who we are and who we're becoming. When the pressure shows up, let's what's changed in you actually be what shows up. Let me go back to Park City. So I found the new path. I ran all the way up to my turnaround point toward the top of this mountain that I was climbing up and I started running back down. Now before I left that initial place where the moose was, I dropped a pin 'cause I knew I was coming back down on the same path. And my thought is, at least there's a chance that I'm gonna see this dude again, or at least I need to be very aware when I go back into that area again. And so as I was making my way down, I got to the place where I had climbed up that steep embankment in order to catch the path again. And so I knew I'm now in moose territory again.

So what did I do? I slowed down. No longer running, I'm now walking. I got to the switchback that I knew that when I hit that switchback, I was gonna be about 20 yards from where I saw him in the clearing. And so when I got to that switchback, I was so ginger like around that switchback. So I make the 180 degree turn and he was no longer in the clearing. He was on the path right in front of me. I mean, people, he was probably 10 feet away from me and I'm telling him he was massive. And so I'm like, "Here, moosey moosey." You know, I'm like, just kind of just backing up. I basically backed up around the switchback. I got right above him and I took this picture like right above him, right? I mean, it was kind of a scary little moment for me. Now, thankfully, I just worked my way back up. I found some bikers. They told me a different route back and I was able to get off the mountain. But here's what was actually important about that moment for me. Just because I was prepared, the same as true relationships. Just because I'm prepared doesn't mean I avoid the situation that I could find myself in again.

Here was the difference. Because I was prepared, I could create a gap. In other words, imagine if I wouldn't have dropped the pen or if imagine if I wouldn't have seen the moose the first time up, imagine I'm running full speed down this mountain and I make the switch back and he's just right in front of me. It might have a very different ending. But instead, because I was prepared, it gave me a beat. It gave me a gap. And that gap gave me the space to make a totally different decision. The same is true relationally that even if I am prepared for whatever the thing is, even though I know their story, even though they know mine, even though I'm aware of my history, even though I've done the work, even though I've searched myself, even though I've allowed God to know me and somebody else to know me, even if all that's true, that doesn't mean I won't get into another pressure field moment again, I likely will. But if I know that it's coming and I give myself a gap and a beat, it gives me the chance to make the decision that I'm going to make before I ever get into the situation. I know what I'm gonna do before I ever get there. And the more distance that gets created between the searching and the knowing and the testing in that gap is called growth. It's where we can be shaped to do something different.

It's where we can come at it in a different way. It's where we can lead it to a different outcome. Don't see the test as a place of condemnation that you're there again. See the test as an invitation to do it differently. David praised this prayer, search me, know me, test me. And then he says, lead me, lead me. Like what does God want to do in me? Let me take you back. Those last two verses, Psalm 139, search me God, know my heart, test me, know my anxious thoughts, see if there's any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. I love the prayer because as much wisdom as I may have and understanding that I have, actually what I need is the constant dependence on the Holy Spirit of God to lead me every step of the way. The journey doesn't end in introspection. It ends in forward movement. And I love the forward movement. There's a few proverbs that I really anchor myself in. One of the proverbs, maybe you've heard of before, Proverbs chapter four, where it talks about guard your heart above all else, guard your heart because the wellspring of life. You ever heard that before? That's Proverbs four verse 23. Just a couple of verses before in Proverbs four, it says this about the path.

This is the path of the righteous is like the morning sun. So it's kind of an image. Think about the morning sun. The morning sun as it comes up, it gets brighter and brighter and brighter. So the path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter to the full light of day. In other words, if we are the kinds of people who are willing to take that journey, God search me, God know me, God test me. But God lead me every step of the way, the person relationally who's led by God, every step of the way that becomes better and better. What happens is the path of the righteous, the path of that relationship is like the morning sun. It will grow brighter and brighter. It will get better and better. And so the prayer is, God lead me. I need the guidance of your Holy Spirit on a daily basis, God lead me relationally. Let me take you back not to Park City. Let me take you back to where we started. I was 19 years old. I was circling some sort of weird statue in downtown Tijuana. I'd done it three times. Now this is back in the late '90s again, we didn't have cell phones, I didn't have GPS, I didn't have those types of things. But I was eventually after my third time circling the statue,

I decided to swallow my pride and I got on the CB radio. Anybody remember a CB radio? For those of you who are young people, it's basically a glorified walkie-talkie that was installed in some cars. So I had it in this car that I was driving so I picked up the CB radio and I called back to a guy, he was at the camp, the place that I was trying to go. And I'm like, bro, I'm lost. I described the statue, he goes, I know where that's at. can you guide me step by step? And so every right turn he'd told me to make, I took that right. And every left turn he'd told me to make, I took that left. And every roundabout I was supposed to go around, he told me to go. And eventually following the guidance of his voice, I found my way home. So much in relationships is about you and I surrendering to the voice of the Holy Spirit because he is the one who can lead us home. The prayer that we follow is God's search me. I want to do my work, know me, test me. But if you take nothing else with you, take the posture that David said, God lead me. Lead me in this relationship. Lead me to a different outcome. Lead me through some of the pain that I've experienced

in the past. God lead me to a totally different place. God, your voice can lead me home. Let me talk to three groups of people real briefly. Here's the first. Some of you are in a place that you're not currently in a relationship, but you're anticipating a relationship. If that's you, here's my challenge to you. Allow this season to become the kind of person that that future relationship will love so deeply. The greatest gift that you will ever give that future relationship is become your absolute best self today. Don't wait for the relationship. Like don't wait for something to kind of go sideways. Don't wait until the moose is loose in your life. Do the work today. (gentle piano music) Your future relationship will thank God for the work you're willing to do today. Let me talk to those of you who are in a relationship. You're dating, you're married, you're in some sort of relationship. Here's what I would challenge you with. Don't wait for the other person to start. Don't wait for them to go first. You go first. I'm not saying they don't have responsibility. They likely do. I'm just saying control the only thing

that is controllable, which is your choices. How you show up, your posture, your attitude, the work that you've done, be willing to go first. Now I wanna be really careful with those of you who are in a relationship. When I talk about searching and knowing and testing and leading, if you're in an abusive relationship, the godly thing is not always to stay and to continue to experience that abuse. If you're in an abusive situation, talk to somebody, get to a safe environment. Godliness sometimes is actually not staying present there. Let me talk to those of you who are coming out of a relationship for whatever reason. I would challenge you this way. Don't waste the pain. In other words, I think that God wants to do something with the heart. God wants to redeem it in some way. It may be just maybe the heart that you just experienced is not in any way to shame you, but actually it's the place where you can meet God where he can redeem you. And so I would encourage you, pursue him. And so maybe you'll be encouraging this way. If you've actually never said yes to Jesus, would you do that today? Maybe something's stirred in you today, that maybe today's the day that you yield your life to him.

I want to give you the chance to do that. So if you would just bow your heads, if you want to become a follower of Jesus, I would just invite you to pray this prayer. God, thank you for loving me. I believe you died on the cross for my sin. God, I believe you rose again. So God, forgive us of our sin. God, give us the gift of eternal life. God, help us overcome the challenges that I'm facing. God, I surrender my life to you in Christ's name. If you made that decision, if you gave your life to Jesus this morning across all of our locations at JCCC, can you communicate that decision by just simply placing your hand in the air? Father, I just say thanks for every single person who's reaching out to you in this moment. God, would you allow them the experience that you're reaching right back to them? God, that you're meeting us where we're at, that you can search us and know us. And God, that's a good thing because you can heal us. God, we give our life to you. I deliver that in Jesus' name, amen.