Stop Arguing With Grace | Katie Hauck

I'm a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. I'm excited to be here. I wanna welcome those of you who are watching on the Pando app who are incarcerated. We're so glad that you're joining us for this message. I wanna start tonight by telling you something that really surprised me. A few weeks ago, I put a poll on Facebook and I asked one simple question. The question was, what do you struggle with the most when it comes to forgiveness? Now, I thought I knew my audience, right? Many of you have walked through trauma, abuse, betrayal, things that should have never happened to you. So I assumed that most people would say, I struggle with forgiving the people who hurt me, right? But I was wrong. Do you know what? Almost every single answer said the same thing. I struggle most with forgiving myself. And that tells us something important. The enemy knows exactly where to hit us. He knows that if he can get us stuck in shame over what we've done, we will never step into what God has called us to do. Some of you are watching this from a cell right now and the enemy has been telling you that you're done, that your story is over, that you'll never be anything more than what you did, but that is a lie. And tonight, my goal is to prove it.

We're gonna talk about a man tonight for a little bit who had every reason to live in shame. His name was Paul. Now, if you didn't grow up in church, you might not know that much about Paul. So let me give you a little bit of background because I think his story is very important. Before Paul met Jesus, he was a Jewish religious leader. Now, not just any leader, he was one of the best. He was educated by top teachers. He followed every rule perfectly. He was the guy everyone looked up to. But when people started following Jesus, Paul saw it as a threat to everything he believed. And he didn't just disagree with those people, he made it his mission to destroy those people. In the book of Acts, we read that Paul went from house to house dragging men and women out of their homes who followed Jesus and throwing them in prison. He was there when an innocent man named Stephen was stoned to death. And the Bible says Paul approved of his murder as he wasn't just watching, he was giving his stamp of approval. This was not a guy who made a few bad choices. This was a man with blood on his hands. And then one day everything changed. Paul was traveling to a city called Damascus and he was on his way there to arrest more believers.

But on that road, Jesus himself appeared to him. He appeared as a blinding light and it knocked Paul to the ground. And Jesus said to him, Paul, why are you persecuting me? And in that moment, Paul realized that the people he had been hunting down were actually right. Because Jesus was real. And Paul had been fighting against God. He was blind for three days because of that light and then God sent a believer named Ananias to pray for him. Paul's sight came back and so did his purpose, only now it was completely different. The man who once destroyed churches became the man who built them. He traveled all over the world telling people about Jesus, he wrote letters to the churches that we still read today. Almost half of the New Testament came from him. He became one of the most important voices for the gospel in history. But here's the thing, Paul never forgot who he used to be. And he had to learn to live forgiven even when shame tried to drag him back. One thing you need to know about Paul is he never made excuses for who he used to be. In 1 Timothy 1.13 he wrote, I once was a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man. He didn't say I made a few mistakes, I had a rough season. No, he called himself violent. He owned what he did.

And then in verse 15 he goes even further. He says, Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the worst. Paul didn't downplay his past, he looked at it honestly. And he said, that's who I was. But here's what he did not do. He did not let his past become his identity. He said, that's who I was, not who I am. Past tense, because something changed. Some of you are stuck because you keep saying I am about what God has already said you were. Yet you keep rehearsing in your head what God has redeemed and every time you do, you're arguing with grace. So how did Paul do it? How did he move forward? Well in 2 Corinthians 7.10, Paul writes, godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret. But worldly sorrow brings death. You see, there are two kinds of sorrow, and they can feel similar, but they lead to completely different places. In the original Greek, the word for the change that comes from godly sorrow is metanoia. It means a changing of mind. It means a turning around. It's where we get the word repentance. That kind of sorrow pushes you toward God. But the word for worldly sorrow is lupe. It means grief, pain, distress, heaviness, anguish, and Paul says this kind of sorrow leads to death because it causes you to collapse inward and isolate, and it drains you of all hope, and that is a word that we call something a little bit differently today.

We know that feeling as shame, and guys, shame is from the enemy. Godly sorrow is conviction. Conviction is from God, and they feel similar, but they say very different things. Okay, shame says I am bad. Conviction says I did something bad. Do you hear the difference? Shame attacks your identity. Conviction addresses your behavior. Okay, I need you to listen to what the enemy's voice sounds like. Shame says things like you're pathetic, you're worthless, you're a loser, you could never be used by God, you're never good enough. After what you said, what you did, what you thought, God could never love someone like you. No one could. That voice attacks who you are. It puts labels on you. It makes you want to hide from God, not run to him. It drives you away. That is shame. That's worldly sorrow, and the Bible says it leads to death. Now listen to what God's voice sound like. Conviction says what you did was wrong, but you are loved, and you are forgiven, so turn away from that and come back to me. The voice addresses what you did, but it reminds you of who you are. It doesn't push you away. It pulls you close. It makes you want to change, not because you're trying to earn love, but because you already have his love. That is godly sorrow, and that leads to life. So the question you have to ask yourself is, which voice have I been listening to?

The voice that you're hearing makes you want to hide, makes you feel like you're not enough, makes you feel far from God. That's not conviction. That's the enemy. That is shame dressed up to look like it's helping you when really it's trying to destroy you. Thankfully, Paul knew the difference. He felt the weight of what he had done, but he responded to the conviction. He didn't let shame have the last word. He refused to argue with grace. One of the most powerful moments in the New Testament happens right after Paul's conversion. God told a man named Ananias to go lay hands on Paul, to heal the very man who was sent to arrest and kill people like him. Ananias knew who Paul was. He knew that Paul came to arrest and kill believers. In Acts 9.17, Ananias went anyway. And the first word out of his mouth was brother, brother. Paul hadn't preached a single sermon yet. He hadn't written a single letter. He hadn't planted a single church. He hadn't proven anything to anyone, but Ananias called him brother because that's how grace works. You don't have to wait to earn it, right? Grace doesn't wait for you to prove that you've changed. It calls you by your new name before you have ever lived up to it. You see, some of you are waiting to feel forgiven before you believe you're forgiven. You're waiting to prove that you've changed before you can accept that God already sees you differently. But God doesn't work that way. He speaks your new identity over you, and then he gives you the power to walk in it.

You don't have to earn brother. You don't have to earn sister. You don't have to earn forgiven. Grace gave you that name, and we have to stop arguing with it. Now here's something important. When Paul became a follower of Jesus, his problems did not disappear. The people he used to persecute, they didn't trust him. Some of them never would. He faced danger from the Jews who saw him as a traitor. He was beaten and imprisoned and shipwrecked. His past followed him because forgiveness doesn't erase consequences. And some of you know that better than others. Maybe you've lost custody of your kids because of some of the choices that you've made. Maybe you're sitting in a cell right now because of something that you've done. Maybe your marriage ended. Maybe your relationships are still broken. Maybe the trust you destroyed hasn't been rebuilt yet. Those are real consequences, and those hurt. But here's where the enemy gets sneaky. He takes your real consequences and uses them to pile on shame. But what Paul understood is that while shame tries to define you, consequences can refine you. You see, living with the results of your past is not the same as being chained to your past. Paul accepted the consequences. He lived with the tension, but he refused to let shame write his story. He let God do that instead. And now, this part might sting a little too. Some of y'all have turned shame into spiritual identity.

You wear phrases like, I'm just a mess, I'm just a broken person, like they're badges of humility. But calling yourself what God no longer calls you is not being humble. It's unbelief. Calling yourself what God no longer calls you is not humility, guys. It's unbelief. Let me show you what that looks like, OK? These are some words that I have called myself many times, and this is God's grace, OK? I've said I'm not enough. Can never be enough, right? But God's grace said, yes, you are. Bad mom. Called myself a bad mom a lot. But God's grace said, I got you. Failure. But God's grace said no. Unlovable. But God's grace said, nope, that's gone too. Broken. But God's grace said, I got it. Disappointment. But God's grace said, it's enough. That's what grace does. It takes every label, every sin, every failure. You know what Jesus did? He threw it away. It's gone.

It's paid for. It's finished. But here's what we do. I know Jesus paid for it, but I'm still feeling a little broken. So I think I'm going to hold on to this one. And you know what, I really messed that up. I'm going to pick failure right back up out of here, too. Going to hold on to this one, too, because I want to remember what I failed. Oh, and unlovable, for sure. My first husband left me. I got to hold on to this one. And we keep digging through the trash to pull those labels back out. Why? Well, it feels humble. It feels honest. It feels like the right thing to do, to keep reminding ourselves how broken we are, right? But it's not humility. It's arguing with God, because God said it's gone. You keeping it is saying it's not. We dress up self-punishment like it's holy. We refuse to let ourselves off the hook, and we call it accountability. But if God has released you and you won't release yourself, that's not integrity. That's unbelief. Romans 8, 1 says,

Now, therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. He said no condemnation. He didn't say there's a little condemnation. He didn't say, no, there's condemnation until you feel like you've suffered enough. He said there is none. So if you're hearing condemnation, where is that coming from? Because that is not coming from God. It is coming from the enemy. But he dresses it up to look like humility, so you keep picking it up. But it's time to throw those things in the trash. So what do you do, though, when you hear those voices, and those voices just won't stop? Later in Paul's life, after he'd been serving God for years, he wrote about something he was dealing with. He called it a thorn in his flesh. Now, he never tells us exactly what that thorn in the flesh is, and people have debated it for centuries. Some think it was a physical problem, like bad eyesight. Some people thought it was a person who constantly opposed him, but I want you to listen to how he describes it in 2 Corinthians 12, seven. He said, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me.

He called the thorn in his flesh a messenger of Satan. The word messenger here in Greek is the same word used when talking about an angel. Paul is saying this thorn, whatever it was, came with a voice, an accusing voice, and a tormenting voice. Does that sound familiar to anyone? A voice that replays your worst moments? A voice that reminds you of every failure. A voice that says you will never change. You don't deserve grace. You're too far gone. That voice is not from God. It is a messenger of Satan. It is a strategy of the enemy, not a truth. And Paul asked God three times to take it away. And do you know what God's answer was? He said, my grace is sufficient for you. God did not silence the voice. He overruled it. He said, my grace is louder than the accusations. So what does that mean for you? It means the voices might not stop. The memories might still come, and the enemy might still try to drag you back in the pit, but God's grace is sufficient because grace outweighs the noise. And your freedom doesn't come from silencing every single accusing thought. Freedom comes when you agree with God louder

than the shame is speaking to you. When the enemy says, remember what you did, you say, no, I remember what Jesus did. And when the enemy says, you're disqualified, you say louder, no, my God says I'm forgiven. Listen, you don't have to win every battle in your mind. You just have to agree with the right voice. And I know this because I've lived this. Guys, there was a season in my life that I was going through a divorce, and I had two little boys, three and five years old. I was working three jobs, trying to hold everything together. I was exhausted, I was stressed, I was broken, and the enemy knew exactly where to hit me. And he began whispering lies about my value, and he said things like, you weren't good enough to keep your husband. You're not pretty enough, you're not fun enough. I became so focused on the pain and the shame and the pressure that I know I wasn't there for my boys the way that I should have been. I was not the mom that they needed in that season. But then God stepped in, and I got saved, and I started seeking him and learning his word and letting him change me from the inside out, and everything began to shift. Years later, when my oldest son graduated high school, I thought I would feel nothing but pride and excitement, but out of nowhere, the enemy started whispering

into my ear all over again. He started bringing up all those times that I had failed with my son, the times I was short-tempered, distracted, absent, making bad choices, and before I knew it, I was right back in that pit, replaying every mistake, listening to every lie, living in shame all over again. And then God spoke something to me, and it was simple, and it was clear, and it was so freeing. He said, you recognized it, and you fixed it. Now move on. He said something I'll never forget. Stop looking back at what's broken and start building forward. I'll redeem what was lost. And that's exactly what he did. He took all the broken pieces, and he started redeeming them. Guys, he restored relationships. He restored peace. He showed me that what I thought was lost wasn't gone. It was just waiting for his touch. I had to stop arguing with his grace. In Philippians 3, verses 13 and 14, Paul wrote, brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it, but one thing I do know, forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead I press on toward the goal to win the prize

for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Paul, who had every reason to live in shame, said, I am forgetting what's behind, and I am pressing forward. And if Paul can do that, you can too. So don't honor, you're not honoring God when you're staying broken over what he has already healed. You honor him by living like his grace is enough. So here's what I want you to walk out of here tonight with a phrase, something to say when the enemy starts whispering all those things and when shame starts trying to drag you back, when the voices start replaying your past, say this, I will stop arguing with grace. Can you guys say that out loud with me now? I will stop arguing with grace. Now, if something stirred in you tonight and if you realize you've been stuck in shame and you wanna go deeper, I want you to know that this isn't the end. Starting next week, we're leading a four-week class on forgiveness. Okay, in week one, we're gonna talk about what forgiveness is and what it's not. And in week two, we're gonna dig into receiving God's forgiveness and forgiving yourself. In week three, forgiving others without losing yourself. And then in week four, we're gonna talk about how to live forgiven when the feelings haven't caught up yet and we would love to have you join that.

But tonight, before we go any further, I wanna give you a chance to do something with what you just heard. Earlier you watched me throw these labels in the trash and pull them back out again, right? Because that's what we're doing. God throws it away and we dig it back out. Tonight we're gonna throw it away and we're gonna leave it there. You guys should have gotten a little white piece of paper. If you did not get a white piece of paper, please raise your hand. We have some people that will bring you one. While they're passing those out, I want to explain to you what we're gonna do with those. I want you to write down the thing in your life that you keep digging back up. The label, the sin, the failure, the shame that you keep arguing with God about. Maybe it's a word like addict, convict, drunk, abuser, cheater, bad mom, bad dad, worthless. Maybe it's a phrase like too far gone or lost cause. Whatever it is, write it down. Don't put your name on it. This is between you and God and no one else needs to know what's on that paper. I'm gonna pause for just a second and let you write that down. Now I want you to take that paper and I want you to hold it in your hand and now I want you to crumble it up. I want you to feel it in your hand because that is the weight of something that is about to lose its power over you. Here's what we're gonna do. When I say go, I want you to throw that piece of paper as hard as you can away from you. Throw it to the front, to the sides. I don't care where it goes just so that you can't find it to pick it back up again, okay? Our team will clean it up later. Don't worry about that, right? Your job is to let it go and for those of you watching from somewhere else, maybe you're in a facility or watching from home, I want you to do the same thing. Write it down, crumble it up, throw it as far away from you as you can under your bed in a garbage can. I don't care. Just don't pick it back up because this is you telling God, I'm done arguing about this. You said this is gone and I am choosing today to believe you and to walk in grace, okay? Are you ready? Throw it. Throw it as hard as you can. That's it and leave it there. Don't go looking for it because that is

gone because tonight grace is winning. I'm impressed several of you got it up here. That's pretty good. All right, I'm gonna pray for you guys but I pray that tonight that this sunk in and even though that was fun, that you realized the weight of what you just did, that you gave it to the Lord and that you said shame no longer has the final word. Lord God, thank you so much for every person in this room. Lord God, thank you. They are called according to your purpose. Lord God, thank you that you are working all things together for their good. God, thank you that you are trying to do something in their life, God, but you just need them to let go of some of the things, Lord God, and I pray that tonight some of them took that seriously, Lord, and that they began to let go of the things that they were holding on to, Lord, that they know that they don't have to live in the shame, Lord God, that that is the voice of the enemy. Speak so loudly to them with your grace, Lord, that your voice is the only voice that they hear. God, we love you so much and we thank you that even though we don't deserve it, even though that we are guilty of the things that we've done, that you say we aren't, that you sent your son Jesus Christ to die on the cross and take the punishment for those sins, Lord God, so thank you for giving us the grace to walk through this life with you. Thank you that you love us so much that you desire to be in a relationship with us. Thank you that you don't look at what's behind and you only look at what's ahead and what you can do in our lives. God, we love you so much and we thank you for your goodness and your mercy and we thank you for who you are and what you've done and it's in the mighty powerful name of Jesus we pray, amen.