Old Man/New Man Podcast - Michelle Harper & Stephen Canup

created in righteousness and true holiness, the old man new man podcast with host Stephen Kenneth. Well, hey, thanks for tuning in again today to the old man new man podcast. I'm Stephen Kenneth. This is my friend Michelle Harper, and that is a picture of my old man. And of course, you're looking at the new man here. But the Bible says, if any man or woman be in Christ, they are a new creature, old things have passed away, behold all things have become new. And we just want to have a conversation today, Michelle, about maybe your past. And also you're born again moment. How many years, if you think back, there's usually a time where say, this is where I went all in, or this is where I got born again, or I really know that I got saved. How many years ago was that? About 23 years ago. Okay. So it's been a minute. Yes. Okay. So tell us leading up to that moment, okay, what life was like and then camp on that just a little bit and then we'll kind of go from there. Okay, life was horrible because I was in full blood addiction. And so I rededicated my life or was born again, I say born again, when I went to prison. Okay. So start with kind of growing up and what was your home life and what happened? How did you end up going to prison and tell us those kind of things? I have to say that the enemy, there are things I can remember. And so a lot of the sexual trauma and stuff started for me when I was three years old. And only here recently have I realized that the enemy brought something in my life that was out of my control. So from three until I was like 17 years old, all different kinds of people, molested me.

I didn't realize that, yeah, it's okay. You know, for some reason, I don't park there too much because, yeah, and I don't think I ever have though, you know, whenever I was wanting to make somebody feel bad, they want to give me some money because I want to get high or whatever, I would use that excuse. But I don't think that that was something that was that I really realized how traumatic that was, and so, but I was in a two-parent home, middle-class family in the small town of Littlefield. I grew up there. Littlefield, Texas. Littlefield, Texas. Go Wildcats. Yeah. I'm still a Wildcat fan. We're sitting in the love of Texas right now and Littlefield's about what, 35 miles from here? It's not very far. I was a cheerleader in high school, you know, athletic in the band, just all the things. And when I graduated, I went straight into the Army. Oh, you do? Yes, sir. I went into the Army. But it was only for just two years. I mean, I didn't have to face any wartime or anything like that. Really, I basically parted a little bit, but I wasn't a big drink or anything like that. I just was out at the club, you know. My dad was 20 years Army, and I was born at Fort Benning, Georgia. Really? See, I wish I would have retired in the Army, but I thought I knew everything. Yeah, he didn't. Yeah, he retired.

Yeah. That was, I should have done that, but I didn't. And so I. Thank you for your service. Oh, thank you. I don't know how much I served as I was. Yeah. You're willingness. Yeah. Because you put in your life on the line. Yeah. You never know. It was a tough thing. Yeah. We had been away from family for the first time because I'm a family-oriented person and just going all the way to South Carolina, being away, it was just, it was different. But I decided, I had my first child when I was there, and I decided that I would get out. You know, I let my window close. I didn't rent a list because I felt like that was just better for me to go home. And that's when everything hit the fan, you know. I started smoking weed. No. I started drinking a lot, and I. Which you had not done in high school, you know, you know, I was one of those people that, you know, that commercial they used to have with the frying pan and they cracked the egg. Yeah. This is your brain. You're brain on drugs.

And I was like, "Oh Lord." I'm like, "Yes, I believe that." Well, it's true. It's true. I didn't realize how true it was until, you know what, I started smoking weed and just, I didn't, I really didn't worry about keeping the job. You know, I got into drug dealing. It was like a very quick progression into nothingness. So I started-- - So a lot of us can do it for a lot of people watching. - Yeah, it didn't feel wrong at the time because it had my whole, your body feeling good, you making all this money and you're doing all these things and have this power thing going on because it's about the power. And just being able to really, it's just being in that position to control somebody's life 'cause you know what they want, they'll do whatever you want them to do to get. And that's just that was just so horrible. But at the time, I really wasn't thinking about it but what goes around does come around. - Yeah, yeah, tell us. - And it came around. - Tell me what happened. - So I started smoking. I started getting high on my own supply. And within a year, I was robbing a store. And my first felony, I was in prison. And I was given a five-year sentence.

But during that time, I believe that saved my life because that's whenever I encountered God. I encountered Jesus in prison. - For me too. - You know, you have time. - I mean, I was exposed growing up and everything else. - Me too, yeah. - And I turned my back on God. - Yeah, for me, my family, we went to church on Christmas and Easter. If you wanted to go in between, that was fine too. But it wasn't something that was, you know, driven into us, you know. My mama has always been a proud woman and very, she loves God, you know. But at that time, during that season, that just wasn't a priority. - So you find yourself in prison? - I find myself in prison. And as you know, in prison, you can choose to do anything. A lot of people believe that, oh, they just, they found God, 'cause they're in prison. Well, praise God, they found God because they could have been doing anything else besides reading their Bible, going to Bible study, really reflecting on some choices that they could have been doing anything other than that. And I chose to be in a, to study the Bible. Like, I, I ate it up, I ate it up. And, you know, the good thing about church in prison

that there is no pride. We just wanna love God. We're just trying to figure it out and try to recede. That's all we're trying to do. And so I-- - You already know nobody's perfect. - Ain't nobody perfect. You know, you're just trying not to think about what's going on the outside. By that time, I had my second daughter before, like, yeah, before I went to prison. - So you had two little ones out there waiting on you. - Two little ones out there waiting on me. - Your mom was taking care of them. - And my mom was taking care of them. Praise God for my mama. And she's been my rock, you know, besides Jesus, of course. But she's been that tangible representation of unconditional love. So, you know, I was in there and I really ate it up. My, by the best part of the Bible to me at that time was the Old Testament. 'Cause I'm like, whoa, look at God. - There's some stories. - He didn't play no games, you know what I mean? And it's okay though. Because in the middle of all that, I saw David and I saw J. Who and I saw, you know, all the, he has a client, all those things, all those people. - None of those people were perfect.

- No, not at all. - But God still used me as they kept their heart right. - Yes, and it was the heart posture. You know, but I was a new, really a new Christian and I thought I had it all figured out. I had, but it hadn't accepted. I had all this head knowledge and I, yeah. But my heart, it was still, I hadn't dealt with some things, you know? And so I did that. - So you kind of had a religion, but it hadn't turned to relationship to you. - It hadn't turned my relationship to you. I had a lot of judgment going on. You know, oh, you're doing this over there. And, you know, I had my moment of getting into the homosexual thing. But, and there's no excuse, but the reason why, and God showed me something in this. I went to see Perot six months in. And I was like, oh, I believe I'm standing on it. I'm claiming it, and then that's what it is, you know? I wasn't listening to God. I was just, this is what I want, God. - You're telling God that it's gonna be-- - Yeah, I'm doing all these things for you. Look, I'm paying attention. I'm doing all these things for you. So I know you go get this to me. That was my mindset.

I didn't know that until it happened. And they said, did not. You got a two-year set off. And so I went in that restroom stall and cried like, I was mad at God. I started going down a list of all the ways that I've done what he wanted me to do. Because it was like, for me, it was not a, it was transactional at that time. And so, yeah, and so I tried to walk away from it. We'll try to walk away from you. because he had plans for my life. And you know, he knows what we're going to face when we get out of here. He already knows. He already knows. So I got moved to another unit and I got back in it. Now you were in prison in Texas. In Texas. What units were I? The first unit I was at, of course, we could all go through women or whatever for processing. I went to Sycamore first, the first year, I was there three years. So the first year of Sycamore, the second year hobby, I went to work in the hobby print shop. In the third year, I went to Lockhart. And that's where I got discharged from from my car. So you're mad at God and he moves you. And now are you settling back in? I'm selling back into let's do this. I mean, I would like to say that my heart was different, but it wasn't. You know what I mean? I was still reading and I was still learning because I knew I didn't want to go back to drugs. That's one thing I did know. I knew that he was the only way I wasn't going to go back to drugs. But I hadn't tapped into it yet. Yeah. You know, I hadn't really tapped into the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. I understood. I read the word and this is and this is he's my helper and he'll bring things to my remembrance and he's my comforter and all these things I received. I received to hear what he was. I understood. I thought I understood his character, but I hadn't felt it wasn't a it wasn't a he was loving me because, you know, he brought me my flowers and my candy and all the things when I needed him to, you know. And but I wasn't giving him. Yeah. That's a good way to put it. It was a one-sided relationship. It was a one-sided relationship. Wow. Mm-hmm. And so I got out. He wants intimacy. Yes. And and I had my moments. I mean, I don't want to make it seem like it was

never that. It was that anytime that God is wooing you, it's an intimate. But I only let him in so far. Yes. Okay. I only I, you know, because I'm like, oh, everything is done. Everything is I'm healed and I was. It just got out. I got out and 11 months after I got out, I was right back in the street. 11 months. Yeah. When I got out, yes, I was going to church. Yes, I would get up and do my devotional. Yes. But the thing that the devil uses for me uses as a weapon against me is lust and sexual sin. Mm-hmm. So I wasn't doing drugs. You know, part of that was probably because you'd been so mistreated when you're growing up. That was my way of expressing. Yeah. And it but even even then it was an expression, but it was just one of those things. It meant nothing. It was just, oh, it's just sex. You know what I mean? But that doe was open. He took that opportunity. The devil took that opportunity and burst right back on him because it, you know, I was still doing the things, but I was still doing the things. And so in there, I went full blown addiction worse than I was before I went to prison. Wow. And just in and out of jail, I think in all, if I were to put all the time together with prison and jails, I think it would equal up to almost 15 years. Wow. I didn't know that. Of total chaos. Were you in and out two or three times? I went to prison twice. Okay. I didn't learn. I guess they wasn't good enough the first time. So I decided to go on a revisit to see if it was the same. Yeah. They still got a bed for you. They still got a bed for him. But now they got part. They got the little tablets and stuff. We didn't have that. No, they didn't have phones either. They didn't have. We had a five minute phone call every 30 every 90 days. And that's it. And that's it. And it was also sitting over there. Why are you in my business? Five minutes. That's all I got. I can't say much in five minutes. You know, and so but it was the season that I guess I needed to be in because it would have just been too easy for me. It was easy, I guess. I went back into the drug scene and got married. You're not 11 months? No. No, it was I went to the 11 months. Yeah, it was because I met it was someone I grew up with. He's older than me. It was somebody that was that I actually used to sell to. You know what I mean? And so I got in and you know, he was a means to an end when we first started hooking up. And then that was with him going to jail in prison. That was a 16 year hot mess. I only got a divorce what five years ago. But anyway, yeah, the enemy used that tactic for me anytime. And he never comes and say, Hey, smoke this dope here, smoke this crack.

Here shoot up this man. It's not that he comes in in little ways that you're not even expecting or even really realizing how much it matters, you know, because we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. And, um, and so I, whenever I would not let God into that part of me, because it was just how it was, you know, it was just what it was. I think that he, oh, I know the enemy used that, but I was in and out of prison in jail and I went from crack from 2003 to 2014 from crack. And I'm like, I got to stop smoking crack, which is silly state of life. So I'm going to start smoking meth instead. I mean, come on. Now, who does that? Oh, man. Yeah. And so I just, I actually smoked some crack by a never smoked meth and I, I'm so glad I didn't because I've heard it just so it's a whole, it's a whole another level of spirits, you know, and so I started smoking meth and, and, but I fooled myself into believing that I was fine. I was better because I can keep money now. Yeah, I was in the, you know, I lived in motels and stuff like that. But my mind wasn't computing that. My heart wasn't computing that, but in the midst of all that, um, I remember there was 20, 17, 2018. So I'm like, the end of 17, 18 and I was done. Like I was mistreating my husband. He was mistreating me. We just didn't know how to love each other because it was just toxic. We, the main ingredient was drugs. That was our God. That was our idol, the drugs.

And, and you can't function like that. God has to be on the throne. Anyway, I remember I just didn't know what to do. And I was talking to God because do it all. I still talk to God, do it all. I still read my Bible. And I think that's what kept me from losing my everlasting mind because I've a lot of people that I was in the streets with their, they may be here physically, but they're not here. And it's sad, sad to see, to, to remember how they were before and to see them now. And they are not even understanding who they are, where they are, where they are. Most of the time, and it's, it's just a horrible, um, it's just horrible to see that. But in the middle of all that, I remember talking to God's eye. Like I saw was at my waist in and, you know, you hear a lot of people say, and, and I'm not saying that it's not true to a certain extent, but God in hearing your prayers is that they're hitting up, they're hitting the rooftops. And this is what God confirmed to me. He hears, he's, I hear you. Anytime you open your mouth to talk to me, I hear you. And that changed some things in my life. I went to jail, well, my brother got murdered and, uh, yeah, over. I'm trying to shut down the executive. I'm anybody who's from love, but God, yes, I'm trying to shut that. I want to start. I want to write a petition and see, but there's so many things you have to do. But my brother got murdered over there in 2020. And July of 2020, um, yeah, it's okay to like, I, it's okay. And, um, so I went to jail in September of 2020. And, um, it was hard. I'm sure it was, it was, it was out of all the time and prison and jail that I've

ever experienced, that was the, that was the hardest time. First of all, I hadn't been, hadn't been in jail, hadn't been caught up. Um, since 2017 and, uh, but losing your brother just hurt so much worse. It's so much worse and going into jail right after that, because I never, I never, I hadn't started greeting yet. Like I was high all the time, you know, I wasn't an intro. I didn't shoot up too much. I would shoot up every now and then, but it became progressive. It became worse after, um, he got murdered and, um, so I went to jail in September of 2020 and I didn't know it because of the charges. It was an old, um, a probation violation that was crazy as they never, um, executed a warrant for me or put a hold on me until that time. I, I thought I was, I'm like, that's all right. My mama had gave me some money. I'm like, I'm gonna give me a bondsman and I'm gonna get, I'm gonna bond out. And, and I'm in there in the hold, I'm in the, you know, the place, the part that they process and love accounting. Like what is the problem? Like I just need to bond out, you know? And so finally I got up and I went to the desk. She was like, oh, let me check. She's like, oh no, little food has a hold on you. I said a hold on me, what? Legally, I'm not even on probation. You know, I'm going through all these things and that's whenever I knew. - You need God. - Yeah, I'm like, I ain't going nowhere, you know? (laughs) I didn't know, I didn't know.

And so during that time, I learned about a place called New Legacy Home for Women. - The New Legacy Home. - New Legacy Home for Women. - And the chair in Lubbock. - Here in Lubbock and... - What happened? - By the, I'll say in February of '21, I decided I wanted divorce from my husband and I can't, I just can't go back. So I put in and I had heard about New Legacy because I'm one of the ladies that I was in there with. She had got accepted and she was excited. And so I'm like, I'll put in my application. I put in my application and I got a letter back. - Oh yeah? - I got a letter back and they said, I'm sorry. - Oh. - We don't have a bed for you. And you have to, at that time you had to be referred. And I was like, oh my God, and there I am in another bathroom style crime. 'Cause I'm like, Lord, I know this is where I'm supposed to be. I know this is where I'm supposed to go. And so I, a lady came in Ruby. - Oh, I know Ruby. - Ruby, Melina came in and she was my, she, at first she was above me. - She was your cellie. - And she was my little,

'cause I was at that time I was in a trusty tank. And so she was my cellie. She was my little side monkey. And she was writing the letter, men heard, 'cause she can pray. Ooh, that lady can pray. - I know of her, I don't really know. - Oh man, if you need some. - I think Pastor Jill Brown is a real one. - Yeah, and that's how I got in. Like, so she was writing Jill Brown, a letter, and-- - So Jill, for those of you that don't know, Jill, Pastor Jill and Danny Brown handle our correspondence. So if you ever write to "Freedom in Jesus," we do our best to write you back. And they're the ones that do that, along with some volunteers, but that Jill had known, had already known Ruby. - She was a very big supporter of Ruby. She still is. - 'Cause they do jail ministry too. They meet a lot of girls when they're in Hockley County Jail. - And I had never met Jill. - You hadn't? - I had not ever, ever met Jill Brown. But I knew that when Ruby was writing Jill, I'm like, "Who are you writing anyway?" And she was telling me about it. She told me she had graduated from New Legacy,

and I was like, "Hey, let me show you this letter." And I showed her the letter. I don't know what to tell you about that, but I will tell Jill about you. And so she did. And Jill sent me that second in-depth application that was necessary. - Oh, really? - Yes. - Jill sent it to me. - She sent it to me. - I didn't know that. - Without ever meeting me. She sent it to me, and I filled it out. Also, a couple weeks later, I was getting an interview for New Legacy Home. - Wow. - Yeah. - That's great. - God worked that out. He worked that out. 'Cause I knew that's where I was supposed to be. I knew it right in here. I knew. And so I got accepted. - So they didn't violate your probation or something? - Oh, yes. They did. - They did. (laughs)

- They did. And so I got, I was supposed to be released. I thought it finally, you know, 'cause this was during the end of COVID, all the things. And so I'm like, y'all, have they thrown the key away? Y'all know lost me in the system. 'Cause I'm in here for all these things. Just let me go so I can do a book and release in the little field. Now 11 months later, they sent me the little field. I got, they, I did time-served here in the little book. They sent me to the little field. And they're like, oh, you're finna go to court for what? Why am I still here? And there was two more weeks. But what happened was that I had already been accepted in the legacy. They were expecting me to- - You know what? I remember part of this story. Jill was talking to me at the time and I didn't connect. That's who she was talking about. She used to go ahead and tell us what happened. You were up there two weeks. - I was in the little field two weeks 'cause I had to go to court. And New Legacy was supposed to, you know, his door to door. You can't get out of jail and go home.

And then they couldn't know. You have to go from jail to New Legacy. And so they have made plans to pick me up. They have my clothes or everything. And whenever I went to little field and I called them and I told them, I don't know. I thought this was gonna be a good release. So that and that. field and she talked for me, Shanna, um, spoke for me and they, I went to coordinate, say, Hey, we are going to reinstate your probation. My lawyer was like, Mm-mm. I think you need to think about that because it's a legal thing. I'm like, girl, I'm ready to go. Like, what are you talking about? I've been here too long. And they made new leg, graduated from the legacy part of my, uh, stipulations. Oh, okay. Yeah. So they said you can go to the program, but you got to stick with it. You got to stick with it. Okay. And before I walk that, I said, but if I pay you off, we all released me early. And they say, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. And so because of the, um, the way new legacy is set up, I was, uh, you know, we have financial coaching and stuff like that. Um, it's just a great place to grow and get to know who God is. Um, I was loved on well. I was able to, um, heal from a lot of things. Uh, God exposed a lot of things in my heart. It's a 15, it's a 15 month discipleship program, residential, residential in house. And, and so, um, a lot of times, even me, like you apply because you think, oh, this is my way out. Although I knew I needed help, you know, but a lot of times, and you're not understanding this, this is not an easy thing. You are on a schedule. Things are like, it's almost as if you're like, Hey, God here. I don't, you control

everything. I, at what time I got to be downstairs is control. You know, it's just one of those things. So it is a 15 month month in house, you know, being like in the army again for two years army again for two years or even prisons. That's how, you know, I'm old. I'm like, I'll take it. I was in the most of y'all. Why y'all tell me what to do. Right. But it was something that's necessary. Well, we have to learn to cement and surrender. Yes. Yes. See God. And see God, because he knows the people you need in your life. Yeah. He knows the, um, the, the kind of regimen that you need in order to be successful in the things of God. I'm not talking about just in the community. I'm not talking about of not doing drugs. I'm talking about all the way around. So he placed on women over me. That's a well rounded program, but you have to be ready. Yeah, you have to be little. You got to cooperate. You got to cooperate, participate and participate. China always tell me Michelle Quinn, anticipate and participate and anticipate I'm like, Yeah, participate. And I didn't understand that at the time, only after I since I've graduated, have I been able to really pay attention to what she was talking about, because I can reflect and think about all the classes that are given, all the, all the opportunities to rest and be still and just let God do what he wants to do in your heart. I miss a lot of that because I was so ready to be to the, you know, go to the next thing. Most addicts, I'm not going to say all addicts. I ain't going to say most. A lot of addicts believe you have a little bit of clean time or a little bit. Hey, I'm different. I'm better. And you're not realizing, nah, it's a little bit more that you didn't deal with all the internal stuff. And so you, you get back out there, like, Oh, I'm ready now. No, you're not

ready. You get some things that is some places God won't expose that you're not allowing him to because you're, you're distracted with all the things that you want to be doing. And you're so happy, your family is so happy for you. And you just want to be with your family. But you're not thinking about. But if I don't do or complete this thing, because God ain't going to put you in a place to not complete it. That's my thing that if he wants to give you a sign, if you apply to go to New Legacy, you get accepted, you're not accepted to not finish. Yeah. Because it's a complete thing. It is. This that Shana would do a lot of research and Shana Hargreay would do a lot of research and went to a lot of different places similar. She's like one of the original organizers founders. That was her vision. Yeah, that was her vision. And she made, she has, she's always willing to try to find a way to make it better, not just for her, you know, just for everybody. You're in a home. Yeah. With 11. And it's a it's like a missions outreach too for a church on the rock, isn't it? Church on the rock is done. The love of dreams. We're right across the street. We're all connected because we are church on the rock is the umbrella over a new legacy. So you completed the program. I completed the program. Then what happened? I had, you know, you have to work. You have to be able to work to go to a new legacy. So I had gotten hired. And that was a god thing too. Now you can't work the first three months. Not the first three months. They kind of ease you into. Yeah. And even the job that you apply to has to be a safe environment. Like you can't go work at a bar. Okay. Yeah. And and restaurants. No, you - They probably help you get jobs too. - Yes, they help you.

And you know it's just, it's getting to the place that the guy uses new legs in a lot of ways. So for me, with a robbery, 'cause that's why I went to prison the first time, I robbed a store. I didn't run out of double clothes, I actually robbed a store. It was me and the guy that I was at at a time. So the jobs, it was hard for me to get a job. So I applied for a job at three months, and I applied to Market Street, Drug & Poor, and you know all these places. And then because of my background, there are just things that I was not able to do. - Yeah, sometimes their insurance companies will even let them hire someone with the background of Pilferage or Steelie and robbery. - Yes, yeah, and so- - Sometimes they would wanna hire you, but it's like, we can't insure you. - Yeah, it's just a high risk, yes, it's a high risk. But there's one of the graduates, Ashley Jones, was a manager at the market shoot on Indiana. And so I know that was a God thing, because of her being in that place, a lot of us have been able to go walk through the doors of the Market Street. So I applied to Market Street at three months, and four months I hadn't heard nothing. I was getting a little antsy.

I was like, oh Lord Jesus, I gotta pay this probation off, which they were working with me with the fees and everything, and I gotta do this and this and this. All these things I gotta do, I'm just thinking about what I gotta do and not. - And you're telling God all that. - Yeah, look at what I gotta do. Like he don't know already, and he ain't worked it out already. - Right. - And Shannon's like, I'm just gonna go, let me just go to the workforce center and let me apply there. I'm a veteran, something that happened or whatever. And she was like, okay, but she had her mind. She was like, but I really don't want you applying all these different places at the same time, because just let's see what happens here, and if that doesn't work out, whatever, five months, I remember we were in a Bible study class that night, and it was like seven o'clock at night, the phone rang. Of course, we can't answer the phone, and staff have to answer the phone. And I think it was Morgan, it was like, we'll show you got a phone call. So I go and answer the phone, and it was HR from Marcus, she didn't say, hey, we're going to take a chance on you. You can't work with the money, of course not. I'm gonna expect that, but they hired me.

So amen, I was like, God, thank you. Look how God worked that out. I know that-- - It is timing. - And he is timing. - Right. - But if I want to walk through those doors, if I want to say yes to God first and accept it what was handed to me through new legacy, there's no time where I will be Stephen. I'm not giving any, I'm not saying, I'm not praising God, because he used new legacy, not only for my life, but a lot of people's lives, you know? - Well, I have two part-time assistants, Maggie and Rosita, and they're both graduates of the new legacy. - New legacy, yes. - Well, you know them both. - Yes, those are my sisters. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, we don't walk through some stuff together, and we still are, you know? And so he used that play, he used new legacy. I graduated from the legacy. God bless me with a car, someone, one of the partners with new legacy donated, some money from me and a couple of the other ladies that graduated, and I'm still driving my big baby out there. So a car was provided, but I think it was 2023. I opened and came up, a new legacy. - Oh, to work on the staff. - To work on the staff. And so, you know-- - So you were still at United at this time? - I was still at United at this time, and not mind you, I paid off probation. It was over $10,000. - Praise the Lord.

- And so they released me early, and that's a miracle too. I never even, I never completed that. You know, the only reason why I completed prison, 'cause you know, they gave me a five-year sentence. I did three years in-house, three years and two months in-house, and then by the time they decided, "Hey, you messing up, we finna rest you." God blocked that, it was a God thing. And so, they hired me on the staff. I didn't know if they were, because I got hired. - So you got hired at United, so that's where you are now. - Yes, sir, I'm working full-time. - Wow. - A new legacy. - Look at God. - Look at God. And it's just the way he brings it around. The opportunities, the doors that have been opened, because-- - So now you got some help there, and now you're helping, another one. - I'm helping, and it's amazing. It's hard, though, sometimes. - Yeah, I bet. - But at first, I didn't understand where I fit, you know? God with Jill Brown and a few of the other ladies we got, I got my associate's degree in theology, and so the experiences of I didn't have that and so at first I was very insecure and I really could not find my place and shall they kept telling me, "Masha, how are you?" Because any other reason because I see something in you and you have something to give bring to New Legacy that we don't have because you went through the program, you walked through it, and at first I had these control issues, like I was like, "I was like a Jill Sergeant." Your army came up, "Yeah, something, I don't know what it was." But being there since 2023 has really softened me and I... Are you the first graduate that's been hired?

No, Ashley Jones was, well yeah, she's full-time so Ashley Jones was the first one and then Natalie got hired part-time and then for, because I worked during the day and so they hired me for that. Yeah. And that was awesome. That's great. Yeah, it's all God. And then you recently went back into the prisons with us. Ah, yes. This is my second time, no, third time with you. I started to say, obviously, it's more than once. Yeah, because we all went to Hobby. Yeah, we went to the women's units a couple of times a year in Texas and so we went to Marlin unit and Hobby unit. Yes. That was the first time. And now we've been to the Woodman unit and the Murray unit. Yeah. Last year I went to Murray. A couple of times. And then this year I was able to go into women. And this, but this time, it was something different about this time. Was it? It was something, it was something, I can't explain it. It was all God, like, I can sit back and I can look at, you know, we always, we know God is, you know, spirit and all the different things. And we just, sometimes we think he is not tangible and I'm going to use that word a lot because he is, you can physically, like, you're sitting here. That's all God. You know what I mean?

That's right. You're just, you're embodying the Holy Spirit. He's embodying the Holy Spirit. And so just, but this time the group of women that it was just so, it was so powerful and it was just so, I received freedom there myself. He exposed some things and within me that he'd been, he wants to work out and just sharing that time with the ladies that was in there because it was just in Christina. It was just, everything, everything was just different about it. It really, it was a blessing. You know, we, you know, we, we're so glad how the Holy Spirit uses us to bless the people we minister to, but oftentimes we're the one, yeah, they have no idea, like, they have no idea to, you know, just to see a shift in somebody's heart and you can see it in their eyes whenever they get it. Like something just clicks on, whenever you, you understand that God really loves me, that I'm just not thrown away, that I have a purpose and it got, he has, as long as I have breath in my body, he going to use me in any way, you know, if we'll let him. If we'll let him. Yeah. If we'll let him. Well, golly, we may have to have a part two. I find myself saying this a lot. We get to talking. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was going on and on. Well, that's good. Yeah, well, we do need to kind of wind down, but before we do that though, I know there's probably some things that the Lord put on your heart that you wanted to be sure and bring out during, during their conversation. Maybe you didn't get to all that or, you know, what I'd like you to do is just talk to the people that are tuning in right now and speak from your heart.

If you've got any advice, encouragement, hope, whatever the Lord puts on your heart. And then I'm going to ask you to pray us out. Okay. Okay. Um, the best advice that I can give anybody is choose to be a Mary because we ultimately find what we're looking for when we're at the feet of Jesus. And so I know that you all probably have kids and family that you're missing, um, trust that God is going to take care of them, a partner with him and let him show you who he is, not just read about it except what he's saying, except, um, how he's leading you and trust, trust him because he is trustworthy. He is not the people that hurt you. He is not the, the person that broke your heart. He is not the one that, um, But he will use all those things to draw you closer to him because you're special to him and that and he Really really he knows each and every one of your names He knows things about you that you are afraid to share and he still said here come to me I got you, you know, let him have you in every way and and know that your this is not in vain Even this prison it isn't even if you're doing life It's not in vain because there are gonna be people coming in that really need to know that they are Accepted they're valuable that they're worthy and they've been chosen So just sit at the feet of Jesus and ask him what he wants you to do next And and just follow through with it and just watch what God does with it. Amen. Wow That's beautiful that applies to men and women of all ages no matter how young you are how old you are God still has a plan. I hope in the future. Yeah, you know, and he just wants us to cooperate surrender Yeah, be led by the spirit live by the spirit. It's a good talking to you. Yeah, we gotta get we got to do this again Yeah, well, why don't you if you would pray us out. Okay, now this that's but that makes me Heavenly Father we all come to you in Jesus name We thank you so very much Lord God that you see every one of us Lord God and you don't waste anything Thank you so very much that you have allowed us to come and just share you with other people who aren't able to Maybe physically go to a church or whatever Lord God you meet them right where they are father

I asked that you remind them Lord God that you call them by name and no matter where they are No matter where they may be may have been or or may whatever the case may be Lord God you're there It's all about you father God and I asked that you Lord move the hearts to be posh or taught you Change their minds renew their minds by your word Lord God in Jesus name and help them to know that your love is Action that you love them and you love them well and that will never change So help them to help all of us to rest in that knowing that there is nothing on earth above earth Or anything that could separate us from your love father God help us to accept it and to thrive in it and Jesus name amen Amen, that's so good well, hey, thanks for tuning in and Just remind you to subscribe to the channel and tell others about it and Check out all our content. We've been on there a couple of years now so we have a lot of great testimonies a lot of great teaching and books and Preaching and all and music we have a lot of great music. So check it out. Tell you friends and We'll see you next time. God bless you. Thanks, Michelle. Thank you for having me. Thank you, Stephen You (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) you