Great S*x- Pastor Chris Lindberg

Good morning, men and women. Such an honor and a blessing and just a privilege and just a miracle really through technology to be able to speak into your life on the Pando app from Life Fellowship Church here in McKinney, Texas. We love you so much. You are our hearts. You're my heart and you are a part of this church family. Everyone around here is constantly asking about the prison ministry and what they can do to help and how they can pray. So many people want to come in and record devotionals and just pour in. Guys, just know that you are being prayed for. You are loved. If you're anywhere near the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex after you get out, even if you don't live here, man, just come visit us one time. Look for me. You can't miss me. Big, bald dude with a beard. I'm here at all four services and I would love to just introduce you to everybody and get you a coffee and get you plugged in. We'd like to meet you one time at least. And if you live here, man, we really hope that you make Life Fellowship your church home. Just a quick reminder, you can have your friends and family download the same Pando app on their phone. They can watch the same messages, the same teachings. There's just a wealth of stuff on there. You guys are so blessed. I didn't have the Pando app when I was locked up. My name is Logan Williams. My TDC number is 1490218. I have four numbers after that. I understand the system round and round and round, how you just get caught up in that. And I know the feelings that come with that, the anxiety, the depression, the disappointment, the man, is this it? Is this just going to be my life? I can't seem to get this life thing figured out. I can't seem to plug into spirituality. I can't seem to understand this Jesus thing, all the things. And I just want to encourage you and tell you that anything is possible with God. Anything. He is a God of suddenly. He can step into your moment at any time. He's just waiting for your yes. He's just waiting for you to get all in. He's just waiting for you to say, God, man, I don't know. I thought I've known, but man, I do not know and I need you. He's just waiting for that moment. He's after you. If you're watching this video right now, he is after you. You didn't just click on Life Fellowship for entertainment. You're going to be watching a movie or whatever else you guys have on that, on that tablet. But if God is after you and you're watching this video, like, I don't think you're going to get away. OK, so just go ahead and surrender. Go ahead. He loves you and he wants so much to have a relationship with you. But it's he wants you to choose him. He doesn't want

the robots. He doesn't want he wants you to choose him and he wants it so badly. So I just want to encourage you, this this cycle that I was talking about round and round, it can stop right now. It can stop right now. So we're in a series called Kiss and Tell. It's kind of about relationships. Just kind of take what you can from it. I know it's not really in friendly this current week is, but next week, I don't really think it is. But we're still going to put them up there because you're part of our church family. So just take what you can, try to apply it and kind of just maybe put it in the put it in the bank for when you get out, going about your relationships, going about trying to find somebody if you're single. There's a lot of good information about finding a good godly spouse or mate and kind of how what God's design is and that and how it's always good to do things the way God designed them to do. Yet they always seem to be so contrary to the way our flesh wants to do things. But anyway, so this I was thinking about you guys and I was just thinking about gratitude and I was thinking about how important gratitude is just in your lives and my life. My wife and I lead out a recovery group here and gratitude is so important for people who are trying to recover from something that's out of control in their life that they can't wish or will away. There's and if you look at it, there's just so many studies like scientific studies about how just having this heart of gratitude can just punch back against depression. It can just punch back against anxiety. I know that I'm a part of on social media, a lot of like TDCJ Uncensored and all these crazy groups that talk about all the the suicides and the overdoses and the officers that get out of control and maybe, you know, hurt somebody. And I see a lot of suicides. I just feel in my heart that there's a lot of depression. There's a lot of anxiety. I know that there's a lot of drugs on certain units. And so guys, not just biblically, because yes, we're supposed to be thankful. We're supposed to be grateful. You know, we enter into his courts with thanksgiving,

his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise. And there's many, many, many scriptures that talk about the importance of being grateful, the importance of thanking him in the prayer, the Lord's prayer, you know, has, you know, begins with that. And so, but just scientifically, even if you're not a believer, just trying to have a heart of gratitude, choosing gratitude can actually change your body. My wife did a big deep dive on this and just sitting in gratitude for 15 minutes a day, it just changes neural pathways in your brain. And it actually causes chemical reactions and things that happen that it actually can heal your body, just sitting and thinking about what you're grateful for, for 15 minutes. And I'm personally, I'm part of a group of men. We have a group text and every morning when we wake up, we just put what we're grateful for. So it just kind of starts the day with gratitude. But many of us are not gonna sit for 15 minutes, right? Every day and think about gratitude, but it's important to do that. So what can we do? Because in the situation that you're in, you know, you're gonna wanna punch back against depression and anxiety when it comes, especially if you're a believer, and especially if you're trying to walk this thing out. Because a lot of times,

I don't feel like doing gratitude, right? A lot of times I don't feel grateful, but the thing about it is I don't have to feel grateful to be grateful, okay? And just on feelings, okay? Feelings are not facts. Let me just tell you that. And if I make decisions and take actions based on my feelings, I'm gonna get in trouble. Feelings are what the enemy uses to deceive me and to lie to me and to tempt me. Feelings are not facts. The word of God, the word of God is the facts. And that's what I need to base my decisions on. But yet we've lived so much of our lives making decisions out of our feelings. I wanna challenge you to ignore those. So even though you might not feel grateful, we can still be grateful. We can make a choice in the moment to be grateful. Even though we don't feel like praising God, we can still praise God. We don't have to feel like it to praise Him. We can just choose to do it anyway. Like we can just go to Him and in a moment of real talk and say, you know what, God, I'm here. I don't feel like praising you right now. It's just real talk. I'm not feeling it today. I got a set off.

I didn't make parole. I'm not feeling very grateful. My commissary didn't come in. You know, I'm hungry. I hate my job. I don't like my celly. I don't like the place I'm in. I can't stand this anymore. I'm not feeling it, but we don't have to feel like praising Him to praise Him. And if you'll just start praising Him anyway, just like, you know what, God, I'm not feeling it, but man, you are awesome. There are no other gods like you. There is no one like you. I just wanna praise your name. I just wanna exalt your name. I just wanna remember all the things that you've done in my life, all the things that you've carried me through, just what you did on the cross, what you did just to call me and save me. I just wanna give you praise. And as you do that, right, as you do that, it'll begin to change your, what, your feelings, your attitude. You'll begin to see that, you know, God is worthy of being praised, even though I'm maybe not feeling it or maybe it doesn't seem like it in the situation I'm in.

But when you do, man, your feelings get transformed and they get just swept up by your worship and your gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5, 18 says, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for your life in Christ. I mean, have you ever wondered what God's will for your life was? I mean, it says it right there. He wants us to be a rejoicer. He wants us to be thankful in all circumstances. He wants us to be in communion with him. He wants us to be praying continually. Now, obviously, it's gonna be difficult to be praying continually, but we need to be praying as much as we can. We need to just have that little conversation in our head as we're walking to chow, as we're on the rec yard, as we're. Doing whatever it is that we're doing at our job that we hate or when we're sitting in our cell with our with our celly That we can't stand We can have those conversations. We can be praying continually. He's saying this is his will for your life to be in communion with God And so maybe we can get to a point where we're like God. All right, I don't understand this. I don't get it I don't agree with it. I don't like your timing. I don't see how you can possibly work this for the good But I just want to thank you in this situation right now Why because verse 24 it says the one who calls you is faithful and he will do it He's faithful y'all if he's called you and chosen you and saved you he's faithful and he's gonna do it Well Logan it doesn't seem like he's gonna do it like it seems like I'm gonna be here longer than I wanted to I didn't I didn't make parole. It seems like I'm

It doesn't feel like he's gonna do it But the Word of God says he's gonna do it and maybe we need to change our perspective on what it is We want him to do, you know, I know a lot of times my prayers are selfish They're like God man I need this and I need this and man I really I hear it all the time when I go into the to the prisons, you know We have a moment at the end where all the volunteers and hey, we encourage you come up for prayer come up for prayer And it's all the time. Hey, man, I'm up for parole and I just need to make parole Can you just pray that God will give me favor in parole? You know, well, what if? His plan for your life is not to make parole what if his plan is for you to get a year set off because he is gonna take that year and use it to just mold and to prune and to shape you into a Weapon into a man of God or a woman of God that you couldn't even fathom or imagine you would be Would you be willing to do that I mean it's not like we have a choice, but I never made parole when I was out. I always got set off. So I always had to do a serve all But I'm grateful I can say that now I'm grateful for every one of those days that I did because God was moving and working In me in those days and so many times my prayer is God. We just want your will Let your will be done in this situation because a lot of times those Those selfish prayers are just that they're selfish prayers But God is faithful and he will do it what he's going to do is what he promised in his word Romans 8 28 We know that God works all things for the good for those who love him and are called according to his good purpose So yeah, he might not do it the way that you think he should do it. But according to his word He's gonna work it all for the good for you That's what he's gonna do and he's faithful And so we need to have a mindset shift and we need to get out of the the the God man

I just need some commissary God man. I just need yes, we can ask for those things He does invite us to ask he does invite us to seek. He does invite us to knock But he is our provider and he knows what? We we want before we even ask he knows what we need not what we want. He knows what we need and so guys, I would just encourage you to Try to have a moment and choose gratitude Have a moment and praise him when you don't want to praise him when you're not feeling like praising him. I Understand and I know that many many times in in prison in jails. Yeah, you're not feeling it most of the time It's it's not fun. It's not comfortable. I know But if you can choose that while you're in there It's gonna be much easier to choose that when you're out here Because it's it's not like that out here It's a little more comfortable out here. People aren't yelling at you telling you what to do out here You're not stuck in a little cell with somebody that you can't stand out here You can get up and leave the room. And so that's what I want to encourage you is to start practicing this stuff In the situation that you're at because it's harder. It's harder to get up and leave the room Do this in there? It's harder to walk this Christian walk in there people come against you people hate on you people tell you Oh, you're just you're just hiding behind that Bible because you don't want to get down or whatever it is. That's okay, man Do the stuff while you're in there don't fall victim to the mentality that I had. I was always like well, I Know what to do when I get out when I hit the gate. I'm gonna do this But while I'm in here, you know I'm just gonna be comfortable. I'm gonna do the hustling. I'm gonna do the gamble and I'm gonna do the all the stuff that That God I knew God didn't want me to do And that's a personal thing for each of you I'm not saying there's anything wrong with hustling or gambling or any of that stuff. I'm just saying that I knew in my heart that God didn't want me doing that. He'd rather have me, you know, reading his word. He'd rather have me praying.

He'd rather have me in community with other believers. But I just wanted to be comfortable thinking, well, when I get out, I'll start doing this. It never worked for me because I had no practice doing it. I had no ability to even start. And when you hit that gate, man, it's the world comes at you and you have all these things you have to do. You have to be at parole and you have to be at this class and that class and get this paper signed and get a job and find a ride to all these things. And what was my Facebook password? And oh my gosh, I gotta get a phone. And you know, all these things can be overwhelming. And every single time I just said, this is too much, you know, to heck with it, I'm not doing it. It's too much. And then the enemy would come along and deceive me and I'd be back on drugs and right back in there again. And I just don't want that to happen to you guys. So gratitude, just focus on this one thing. Try to be grateful in the situation that you're at because it'll change you, man. It'll heal your body and it'll put you, it'll change your perspective and put you in a right relationship with God. So let me pray for you guys. Heavenly Father, thank you for all of the men

and the women that you are drawing to you through the Pando app. God, we just give you praise for this technology that the men and women who are incarcerated can now have something to do to fill all of that dead time in their lives that they can actually pour in. They can study, they can read, they can watch the chosen. They can see the Bible recap. They can do the Bible project. They can learn about your word. And so God, I pray that you would just put a desire in all of their hearts to do that, to seek you more, to run after you even harder. God, I pray that your Holy Spirit would just fall on them, that they would have a moment today where they could just stop and be grateful and that they would have a moment like that every day, especially when they don't feel like it. God, I pray that you would teach them how to do things that they don't feel like doing, because oftentimes in this walk, you ask us to do difficult things that we just don't feel like doing, but those are the things that we're gonna grow the most from. And so God, I thank you for this. I pray that these words would just fall on fertile soil, that they could get this revelation in their hearts and that they could just begin.

We're not gonna be perfect at this, but that they would just start and that they would just try to do some of these hard things, because when they get out, man, these hard things are gonna be easy things because it's easier out here. And so God, I pray that you would just continue to bless them, continue to go after them, continue to reveal yourself even more to them. If there's anyone that's watching that doesn't know you, God, I just pray in Jesus' name that you would fall on them right now, that they would have a moment with you right now in Jesus' name, that they would just be swept up by your presence and that they would just give their life to you right now, wherever they're at. God, we love you. We're so grateful for all that you've done in our lives and on the cross and at Life Fellowship and on this tablet. God, we don't wanna take any of this for granted. We love you so much and we give you all the praise and glory in Jesus' name, amen. Whose house? God's house. Let's give him some praise. Let's give him some praise. Life Fellowship, today is Baptism Sunday and we are going out of our mind with excitement as we have a number of Christ followers that are going public with their faith.

Today is the day that God has made and we're gonna celebrate and rejoice in it. And so as we begin worship today, as we begin to celebrate in the auditorium, in correctional facilities, in different homes across this nation, we're also gonna be celebrating the fact that folks' lives being changed by the touch of the power of God. And so today, as we celebrate, come on everybody, let's celebrate what God is doing, woo-hoo! Let's go, everybody, let's celebrate and rejoice as these people are getting changed in their lives. Come on, let's worship the Lord, amen, come on. ♪ I was buried beneath my shame ♪ ♪ Who could carry that kind of weight ♪ It was my turn, till I met you And I was breathing but not for life All my failures I tried to hide It was my turn, till I met you You called my name and I ran out of that grave Out of the darkness into your glorious day You called my name and I ran out of that grave Out of the darkness into your glorious day Now your mercy has saved my soul Now your freedom is all that I know They all knew Jesus when I met you You called my name and I ran out of that grave Out of the darkness into your glorious day You called my name and I ran out of that grave

Out of the darkness into your glorious day I needed a rescue, my sin was heavy The chains break at the weight of your glory I needed shelter, I was annoyed But you called me a citizen of heaven When I was broken, you were my healing Now your love is the air that I'm breathing I have a future, my arms are open Cause when you called my name, I ran out of that grave Out of the darkness into your glorious day You called my name and I ran out of that grave Out of the darkness into your glorious day Out of the darkness into your glorious day I needed a rescue, my sin was heavy The chains break at the weight of your glory I needed shelter, I was annoyed But you called me a citizen of heaven When I was broken, you were my healing Now your love is the air that I'm breathing I have a future, my arms are open Cause when you called my name, I ran out of that grave Heart of the darkness, into your glorious day, you call my name. And on and on I pray, heart of the darkness, into your glorious day. Come on somebody give Him praise, give Him worship, He is worthy. On and on I pray, heart of the darkness, into your glorious day. Blessed assurer, Jesus is mine. He spilled my fourth in the fire, time after time. Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood. And what He did for me on Calvary was more than love. I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail.

He will never fail. I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail. He will never fail. Perfect submission, all is at rest. I know the other, love to my heart has hoarded my steps. So this is my story, this is my song. Praised in my risen King and Savior. Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood. I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail. He will never fail. I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail. He will never fail. He will never fail. Come on, I need every voice. Sing, I trust in God. I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail. He will never fail. I trust in God. I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail. He will never fail. I trust in God. He will never fail. He will never leave us all. I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered. I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered. I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered. That's why I trust. Come on. That's why I trust. I sought the Lord, and He heard.

And he answered, and I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered, and I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered, that's why I trust him I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered, I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered, that's why I trust him I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered, that's why I trust him I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered, I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered, that's why I trust him That's why I trust in God, my Saviour, my Lord, who will never fail That's why I trust in God, my Saviour, my Lord, who will never fail, who will never fail We trust you, I trust you, I trust you You may not understand, Lord, but I trust You You may not see clearly what you're doing, Jesus, but I trust You You will never fail, you will never fail, you will never fail I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered, I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered, I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered, that's why I trust him I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered, I sought the Lord, he heard you cry, I sought the Lord, that's why I trust him, I trust in God, my Savior who will never fail, he will never fail, oh I trust in God, my Savior who will never fail, he will never fail, oh I trust in God trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not to your own understanding, but in all your ways, if you acknowledge him, he will direct your path I don't know who's looking for direction, I don't know who's looking for clarity, hear the Lord say, trust in him, and not lean on your own understanding, but in all of your ways, if you acknowledge him, he will direct your path Amen church, I trust you ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ I have nothing else Except for a heart singing You're not there You're not there So I throw my life away To you You're not there You're not there You're not there Baby, I know it's not right To pretend you're not there You're not there Except for a heart singing You're not there

You're not there You're not there We thank you Jesus for your faithfulness this morning We thank you because we can wake up with breath in our lungs And we get to praise you We get to give you back everything that you have already given us We get to lift up your banner this morning Jesus We thank you because you are near to the broken hearted And you hear the praises of your people We thank you because we go after you And you find us where we are So we give you all the honor And all the praise and all the glory And everyone in the church says Amen and Amen Amen Amen Life Fellowship family welcome And thank you so much for worshipping with us this morning It is an awesome privilege to be in the house of the Lord Amen Amen Hey listen we want to welcome you If you are new here If this is your first time here Why don't you please go ahead and text the word New to 51010 That will get you some more information On who we are as a church family And get you plugged into Life Fellowship

Hey listen church family One of the things that we never want to forget As a church family Is we never want to lose sight of what God Is doing through Life Fellowship And the fact that it reaches far beyond the four walls of this building Because of your generosity We are able to reach the nations Amen How many know that? We are able to reach the nations And we are able to share the gospel of Jesus With other nations that most likely would never hear the name Jesus And we are able to do that through you And because of your generosity And so as you're seated here We want you to draw your attention to the monitors And watch this video with us This is Evangelist Bernie Moore Who is in Tanzania And he is able to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ Because of generosity Because of your generosity and your giving And we want to remind you That you are not just giving to a church You are giving through a church Amen Amen Draw your attention to the monitors Pastor Chris and Pastor Tatum

And our entire Life Fellowship church family It's Bernie here And I'm coming to you from Dar Es Salaam It's the capital city of Tanzania Where we are holding a great gospel crusade I want to thank you for standing with us For believing in us For helping us bring the greatest treasure The priceless gospel all over the world To those who have never heard Most of them will hear the gospel for the very first time It's the greatest gift we can ever give humanity And that's Jesus Thank you for your generosity Your kindness Your love Your support Thank you for helping us reach the broken The hurting The lost The confused Together we are making an eternal difference And I want you to know We couldn't do this without you guys We love you dearly Can't wait to see you guys in a week or so God bless Well hey everybody Good to have you with us in service today And we are in week number three

Of our series that we've entitled Kiss and Tell Today's going to be fun It's going to be spicy Steamy Want to make sure that I give a big welcome To our church online family I mean people are coming to us from all over this nation From Florida to New York To California To Washington Wisconsin We are one church that happens to be meeting In many different rooms And I want to give a big special welcome To the men and women In all of our Department of Corrections Over 6,000 people 6,000 correctional units that are meeting with us today. Come on everybody. Would you make them all feel so welcome today. God bless you guys. All right. Well, next week make sure that you are back because Tatum is going to be co-teaching with me. We are going to be talking about conflict in relationships. Come on everybody. Let's get ready to rumble. Yeah, that's next week. Today we are going to be talking about great sex.

Can I get an amen from somebody? Amen. All right. That's good. That's the best amen I've gotten all day right there. Now some people might be asking, Chris, why are you talking about sex in church? Because it's a very needed topic. If you sit in my seat and you walk with couples through marriage counseling and challenges in their marriage, some of the top reasons why couples get a divorce is because of money and sex. Those are the two top reasons why. Third one is my needs are not getting met and so people look for other things. This is a massively important topic. So I don't know if you heard about this guy. He was having these problems in his body. He wasn't feeling well so he went to his doctor and the doctor ran all kinds of tests on him. Doctor came to him and said, man, I got some bad news for you. He said, I'm so sorry, you have 18 hours to live. So the guy goes home. He's devastated. He tells his wife and so they pray together. They cry together. A couple, three hours later after that, he looks at his wife and says, hey baby, he said, you know, I've only got 15 hours left to live. Do you mind if we just like, could we make love? And she's like, my gosh, of course. Yeah, you only have 15 hours. And so they finish up and the day goes on and he comes to her and says, baby, I've only got seven hours left to live. Is it okay if we, can we have sex again?

And she says, definitely. I mean, for you, anything, you're my love. And so they eventually, they go off to bed to sleep that night, but he couldn't fall asleep. So he just keeps looking at his watch the entire time and he realizes that he's only got a few hours left. So he starts rubbing on her shoulder and he says, she finally wakes up and he says, honey, I've only got three hours left to live. Can we have sex one more time? And she says, uh-uh. She says, you've already got it twice today. And on top of that, I've got to get up in the morning and you don't. Come on, everybody. That's funny. I don't care what you say. That's good. Because one of the biggest areas of contention in the area of a marriage is the topic of sex. Sex can be the source of a marriage's greatest blessing or its greatest tension. And so before we dive into the scriptures today, I want to give you a sneak peek into this couple that we've been studying into their honeymoon. In fact, what you would need to know is that historically, traditionally, in Old Testament wedding, there's a lot of similarities to what we see happening today. A lot of them. In fact, both the groom and the bride would stand in front of the priest to be able to take their vows. And the bride would always stand on the left-hand side of the groom, symbolic, and there's a reason for that. So that his sword arm would be able to be free so he could grab a sword if anybody was going to try to come and attack his wife so that he could protect her.

I don't know about you, but I think that's really cool. And then when they finished up making their vows, the two of them would turn to face the congregation, all the crowd, and they would do it in such a way that she would be locking arms with his right arm, symbolic of the fact that now she belongs to him and he belongs to her. The problem is that his sword arm is no longer free to protect the marriage. And so what it meant symbolically was that the crowd, the family, the friends, it was now their responsibility to protect, to bless that couple. And when they finished up with their marriage ceremony, there would be this long entourage that would go to what was called the bridal chamber. It was called the chapa. They would get into the bridal chamber, this virgin bride and this virgin groom, and they would be there that they would consummate their marriage. So here's how they did it. They would place a white towel that would be on the bed. And so when the groom would enter his wife, it would be the shedding of blood, and they would take off his clothes. take that towel, and the groom would take it out. There was a window that he would take it out, and he would wave it out so that the people that were surrounding the bridal chamber could see the blood on the white towel, and the people would cheer. How many of you all glad that we don't do that anymore? And then they'd party for the next seven days. That's a long party. They would party and celebrate the fact that God had joined these two people into one united unit. And so, the act of lovemaking, sex, was not some casual thing. It was something that was very, very sacred. And it still is today. And so kind of with that backdrop, we're going to study what God's Word has to say about

sex. Now, I'm just going to forewarn you. I've done a lot of reading of a lot of different commentaries. There's one guy. His name is F.F. Bruce. He comes along, and he says that the Song of Solomon, Chapter 4, should not be read in a church setting. And I'm so sorry, Mr. F.F. Bruce, but I'm going to read Song of Solomon, Chapter 4, in a church setting. He thinks it's inappropriate. I think it's inspired by God. And so we're going to talk about the six things that God's Word says about great sex. Are you guys all ready? Okay, I got like four of you here that are ready. I hope you're a little more rowdy than that here today. Come on, everybody. How many of you all would like to change places with me? So give the brother some love up here. Help me preach just a little bit. Like if it's even halfway funny, just laugh a little bit and just... I know I've been preaching it already a couple times, but it doesn't get easier, you know? So help me out. Let's go. Number one, great sex doesn't begin in bed. It actually begins long before that. And this is massively important. So it starts long before the two of you have even touched each other. And this husband here, he understood that. In fact, I want you to see it as it plays out.

I want you to watch what he does. He says this in verse number one, how beautiful you are, my darling. And there's that word again. He's got this little nickname for her. Oh, how beautiful. Your eyes behind your veil are doves and your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mount Gilead. He's like, baby, you got great goat hair. Which that would have been a compliment back then because these goats were famous for having this long, thick, flowing black hair. And then he gives her probably the greatest compliment in the entire Bible. Look what he says, your teeth. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn coming up from washing. Each has its twin. Not one of them is alone. He's like, girl, you got all your teeth. So at this point, we know two things about her. Number one, she is not a hockey player. And we know she's not from Arkansas. Is there anybody here from Arkansas? All right, just make sure they had their shoes on when they came in, you know, so. But listen, in the ancient world, without Dennis, to have all your teeth would have been impressive. So watch what here's what he was doing. He was romancing her before they ever even got to the bedroom. And guys, listen to me. This is very important. Great sex doesn't start in the bedroom. It starts way before that, way before that. Tatum has actually taught me a lot about this.

So Tatum and I, we have now celebrated 26 years of marriage. We were talking about the other day, this is our 28th Valentines together. And well, thank you. It's all Tatum. It's not me. She is that good, you know, and so. But one of the things that I have learned from her, and men, listen to this. You have to do the job of filling up her emotional tank. And when her emotional tank is full, then all of a sudden the natural physical expression of lovemaking can begin. But the emotional tank has to be full. So for example, you know, I'll text Tatum and I'll let her know throughout the day, you know, hey baby, I just want you to know I love you. I'm thinking about you. I'll text her, I'll say, hey baby, I just want you to know, if I had to do it all over again, I'm being serious, I would still choose you. On my Sabbath, I'll wake up earlier on those days and some days I'll go down to the grocery store and I'll pick up some flowers and I'll come home and I'll write a little love note to her and I've got a little tea-like candle there that I got lit next to the coffee maker so when she gets up, that matters. It's filling up her emotional tank. It's helping her with some chores around the house. It's helping to load the dishes. And guys, there's a right way to load the dishes and if you've been married long enough, you're going to find out there's a wrong way to load the dishes. If you've got little kids around the house, it's helping change diapers and doing some of the bedtime chores. And when you do these things, it begins to fill up her emotional tank and when her emotional tank is full, the physical side of lovemaking becomes very natural, very easy. It becomes something very good.

In fact, guys, I'm going to actually give you a little secret here. This is a little trick. This is something that I found out that's really important to your wife. Like ladies, and you can just amen me on this one here because none of the guys have ever even thought of this. There's not even a cell in a man's brain that's ever thought about this phrase. Guys, here's the term. Ready for this? It's called non-sexual touch. And guys are thinking, what? What is this that you speaketh of? Is that like something made up? No, I'm serious. It's a very real thing, guys. It's called non-sexual touch. It means that you are touching her with no sexual strings attached to it. So it means you're giving a foot rub just for a foot rub. It means you're giving a hug with no hunka hunka next to it, you know what I'm saying? Because great sex, it does not start in a bedroom. It actually starts a long time before that as you start filling up her emotional tank. Here's the second thing that I want you to see. He compliments her in verse number three. He says, baby, your lips are like scarlet ribbon. Notice this. Your mouth is lovely. And this is before Botox, all right? Your temples behind your veil are red with excitement and passion like the halves of pomegranates, which brings us to the second truth, and that's this. Great sex is built on tenderness, not pressure. In fact, listen to the tenderness of how he speaks.

Verse number five, we're just going verse by verse. He says, your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. Now some of you guys here are hunters. And if you've ever been out hunting and you see two fawns, and you do not want those deer to run away, what do you do? You will approach them gently and carefully. And if you are gentle enough and careful enough with all of your moves, those two deer will not run away. But if you jump out and go, hey fawns, what's up? Those two fawns will run away. And that means exactly what you think that it means. They will run away. Lord Jesus, help me get through today. Next week's going to be a whole lot better with Tatum with me, you know what I'm saying? So Let me answer this common question. I get this from time to time. And here's the question. What if one spouse wants to have a creative expression of their love in a way that the other spouse is not comfortable with? What do you do? So here's my answer. My answer is that you should never pressure your spouse to do something that they are uncomfortable comfortable with. Something that will make them feel less than. Something that will put them in an awkward position. Something that makes them feel cheap. Because great sex, it is tender. It does not pressure. At the same time, I would speak to the uncomfortable spouse and I would say that you should never shut down without making an effort to meet your spouse's sexual needs.

And so again, there's a shared community between the two. Because great sex doesn't just start in the bedroom. It starts long before that. It is happening throughout the day, throughout the week. And then number two, it's something that is tender. That is not full of pressure. Here's the third one. Great sex is designed to be passionate. In fact, look what he says in verse number six. He says, until the day breaks and the shadows flee. In other words, all night long. If you want to know where they got that song from, that's where they got it from right there. All night long. All night. Right there, baby. Can somebody say amen to that? And then, and then I want you to notice here, he starts talking about these two mountains. And they are exactly what you think that they are. He says, I will go to the mountain of myrrh. So he starts nicknaming the mountains. And to the hill of incense. Like, come on everybody, that's a passionate verse. Here's what's interesting to me. You ready for this? In all ancient recorded history, most all of the references to sex in all the different literature, it typically refers to sex and it connects it to procreation. But not the Bible. The Bible is the only one that it doesn't just tie it to having children and making babies. In scripture, it ties sex to procreation but it also says that sex is raw and clean and pure and holy and passionate between a husband and a wife. Like, why is it that you can have a newlywed couple and they are so passionate for each other but just give it a little bit of time and the passion is gone? Why is that? I'll tell you why. It's very simple. It's because you got busy. It's called dutiful distraction. So your life became all about the kids and the job and the home and the payments and the cleaning of the house and the doing of the dishes and

the folding of the laundry. It's called dutiful distractions and you forgot why the two of you fell in love for the very first time. And what happens is that we have forgot the priority of marriage. We have forgot the priority and the principle that brought the two of us together. So men, look at my eyes today. Initiate passion. Initiate romance. Like, take her out to dinner. Buy her a flower. And you don't have to buy her 12. You can just buy her one. You don't have to do 12. And it's a whole lot cheaper. It's the thought that counts. It really is. Open the car door. Compliment her. Light some candles. Romance her. Come on everybody. Put another log on the fire. Like, keep that thing cooking. And then ladies, I am so sorry. But I'm just going to tell you today that God has made us guys very visual. Very visual. So with that apology, I would just say to you, hey, do your best to make yourself attractive for Him. Like, don't just do it when you go out every so often. Like, make yourself attractive for Him. Like, give away that old nightgown that your grandma passed down to you that's like four inches thick. Come on, everybody. I mean, there could be a solar flare that could flare up behind you. Nobody would be able to see it. And you go, well, it just feels so comfortable. Yeah, but you look like you're in a space suit when you come to bed. Like, come on, man. And guys, listen, you don't have to smell like two-cycle oil. Take a shower. Wash your hands. Trim your ear hairs. Come on, everybody. I'm being serious. Like, add some passion back into your marriage.

Like, put the priority of it back where it needs to be. And you're gonna watch your marriage just begin to flourish with love again. Here's the fourth one. Great sex is built on trust and security. In fact, look at what he says to her in verse number seven. Again, we're just going verse by verse. He says, all beautiful you are. All beautiful. And he's that word there, my darling. And notice this. He says, there is no flaw. No flaw in you. What's he doing? He is reassuring her of her beauty. Because if you remember back in chapter number one, she's very insecure. She admits it. She tells him. She's like, I was out in the sun. I was in the vineyards. I was taking care of all this stuff. And because of it, the sun beat down on me. It did things to my skin. I'm just insecure with my skin. I'm insecure with how I look. And so he is reassuring her. So gentlemen, please listen to me. Look in my eyes. I would never say that to you. But there should never, ever come a day in your marriage that you would ever look at your wife and criticize her for something about her body. This should never happen.

Instead, you should do the opposite. You should go out of your way to reassure her of her beauty to you in every way possible. And I would say this, ladies. Rejection can come from you as well. So I said this last week and I'm going to say it again today. It doesn't matter who they are and what they look like. Every girl, every lady is insecure about something to do with their body. And just like all ladies have an insecurity, all men have an insecurity and their insecurity is their abilities. So both sexes need affirmation. And so, ladies, when you look at him and you reject him and say, well, I'm just not interested. That does something to a man. It makes him feel less than. And I'm going to tell you this. That a man will feel secure. He will feel secure. He will find some way to make sure

that he is secure. He might find that security through a job, through a sport, through a hobby, through another person. And I'm not saying that it's right because it's not right. But I am saying that there is a part of that that you played into. So there has to be this unification of the two of you. Because I'll say it like this. When you connected, when the two of you came into a covenant marriage relationship, you became their only exclusive source for their sexual fulfillment. You're the only one. Any kind of sexual fulfillment outside of that marriage covenant relationship is illegitimate. It's sinful. So you're going to have to work really hard to make sure that there is safety, security,

that you are affirming each other's insecurities so that they feel safe and comfortable around each other. And this is massive. In fact, a lot of you probably already realize this, that most men are more sexual than the girls. Most are. In fact, there's been a lot of studies that have been done. In fact, they did this one study. They found out that most men prefer sex on days of the week that start with the letter T. Tuesday, Thursday, Thursday, Today tomorrow Thursday, Saturday Tunday, come on somebody Thursday, Thursday, You all look like you were needing to Thursday, Laugh there for a second, you know, come on just breathe in Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, Breathe out just relax. You're gonna be good Thursday,

Yeah Number five number five great sex is sensuous Look at this here verse number nine You have stoled in my heart my sister my bride. You've stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes Look at that. He's like you had me at hello With one jewel of your necklace how delightful is your love my sister my bride How much more pleasing is your love than wine and fragrance of your perfume than any spice your lips? drop Sweetness as the honeycomb my bride milk and honey are Under your tongue What is that right there? That's called a French kiss everybody And it really can't be a French kiss because the nation of France won't exist for another 1900 years So this is what I would call a Hebrew kiss Which means that your God is cool, come on somebody And I know I can hear some of the guys going well listen I am no Romeo well, I'm so sorry, but you married a Juliet and She doesn't want just the physical side of lovemaking she wants the emotional side She wants the sensual side She she wants she wants both of those So for example One of the ways that Tatum and I we keep our relationship Strong relationally emotionally is from time to time. We will we'll just get away We'll get away we'll we'll get out of town And One of Tatum's favorite things to do is just is a lazy morning with coffee and breakfast And she likes walking through these little parks, and if she can find a little boutique You know she'll just dink around in there, and she drives her crazy

crazy so We finished up this last Christmas just a couple months ago. I Mean it was busy busy. It was a busy season for us and So I told Tatum I said honey, we're we're not going anywhere. We're gonna do a staycation And so I pulled out all the stops I Went down to Kroger, and I got three roses on discount for one dollar and then I got a Hershey chocolate bar, and I began to break it up, and I put it on a on a piece of China and I Got the bubble bath going I got the the massage oil out I've got the tea light candles happening And I walked Tatum into the room and she liked the music is happening. It's just glowing everywhere And she's like baby. You did this all for me I'm like yeah, honey because your your hair is like goat hair Yeah And and yeah, and we kissed and it was a good night, and and the best thing was I saved 500 bucks come on somebody Because great sex is Sensual it really is and I know what some of you are thinking yeah, but we got kids living at our house right now And I'll tell you I remember what that was like I got I'll tell you some of the things that we did with our kids Remember we I'd bring the kids in I'm like tonight. We're gonna play a game We're gonna see who can go to bed the earliest first And if you do you win, but dad it's only 630 So there'd be a little fight that would go on and I'd pull out the NyQuil A Little Baptist bourbon, right 15 minutes these kids are go you know Tatum and I could play

But listen to me get creative Get Oh, Lord, I'm almost done. There's a landing to this thing here soon. Just get creative. Guys, let me tell you something. It doesn't take much to knock her off her feet. Just get creative. Like, add some romance in there. Fill up her emotional tank. Like, do those things that you did when you first fell in love. Like, it really matters. And ladies, let me tell you something. You can initiate too. You can do that. So maybe he's been out doing something. Maybe he's been at the office. It's been a long day. When he walks through that door, just have a robe on and just, hey, baby. Surprise, surprise, surprise. You will watch him worship. Everyone, don't neglect the incredible, sensual gift of lovemaking in the context of a marriage that God has brought the two of you together. Don't miss it. It's one of the things that God has given to keep the two of you strong. See, God has given the women the gift of sex, and he's given men the need for sex. And so, ladies, you have a gift, and that gift will always draw your husband back to you. So don't neglect it. Here's the last thing that I give you today, number six, and that's this.

Great sex is holy. So the covenant of marriage is righteous. It's pure. It's holy. In fact, Cosmopolitan Magazine, they came out with this research, this study, and they found that they were actually shocked. They were shocked. What they found is that the people who are having the most fulfilled sex in America are not the swinging singles. It's not the ... And that's what they expected it to be, the people that are just wild and just going to do whatever. They said, no, the people that are actually having the greatest sex, most fulfilled, the most connection, like it really completes them, are Christ followers in a covenant marriage relationship. And I'd look back at them and say, duh. I could have told you that. The Bible has been saying that for thousands of years. And I would just implore you today, trust God. Do things God's way and watch the amazing benefit that comes from it. So I'm going to give you here, as I close, probably, in my opinion, the most erotic verse in your entire Bible. And I'm not going to give you commentary on it. I'm going to let you figure it out for yourself. She says this in verse 16 of chapter 4. She says, awake north wind, so that's a strong wind. And come blow south wind, that's a gentle wind. Blow on my garden. And that means exactly what you think it means. That its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into, and notice what she calls it, his garden and taste its choice

fruits. Woo. Maybe F.F. Bruce was right. So I was thinking, like how in the world do you close out a message on sex? And so this is the verse that I'm going to give you today to close this thing out. It says in James, be doers of the word, and not hearers only. And all the men in the house, come on and say amen. Amen. So all the men are going to say, honey, listen, we're going to be radically obedient to the voice of the Lord. And so men, I helped you out today, all right? So while you're leaving, you can add something extra in the offering, as you can text give to 51010, and yeah. So I'm done with the topic of sex. And a lot of people are like, thank God. But, so let me just close by saying this. I know that this topic today has not been easy for everybody. I'm very well aware of that. I had a friend of mine, a gentleman, he texted me this morning. He lost his wife about a month ago, a month and a half. He said, I've been watching this series, and he said it's been incredible, but it's just hard. I know some of you are in the winter season right now. You're in that season of singleness, and you're staying true to the purity of God in your life. Others of you, you're in a tough place in your marriage. And I realize that. The thoughts that go through my mind in bringing a message, even tackling a topic like this I know that there is such a variety of different challenges that people are walking through

right now that I can't even, I couldn't even put my finger on it if I wanted to. I just know that God has promised something very special to every married couple. And so don't dismiss it. Use that gift that God has given to keep the two of you united together. So here's what I want to do. The very best that I know how, I want to pray for all, every person that's listening to me right now. Would you just bow your heads, right where you're at. Lord Jesus, oh, there's the complexity that's represented just in this room. Not encompassing what's happening in church online and in correctional facilities. I know there's a lot. It gets complex, complicated, and I just ask you, oh, wonderful Holy Spirit, take a topic like today, and I would ask you, Lord, that you would use it to breathe fresh hope and life and creativity and spark passion once again. I pray for the individual that's here that's, maybe their heart is, or their marriage or relationship is really struggling. I ask you, Lord, that you would heal it. And if you're here today and you're away from the Lord, I hope one thing that you captured from this message is the reality that your God is not boring. He's a lot more fun than you ever even dreamed possible, because a lot of us, we think about Christianity and think, well, if I commit my life to the Lord, I guess there goes my fun. No, actually, when you do things God's way, it's when your life becomes complete. What needs to happen is that the creation needs to get connected back in with the Creator. This is your moment to do that. So, come on, why don't you just talk to God with me and commit your life to Him. Just say, Jesus, I give you my life, I give you my sin, my regret, my failure, I give you myself, all of me, the best I know how, change me, make me new, in Jesus' mighty name I pray, and all God's people in the house, come on, say, amen, amen. Come on, can we just celebrate those that have made that decision for Jesus?

Now I'm going to close out the service a little bit different than normal, and I've got something very important that I'm going to share with you here. It was back in December, Pastor Jeff sat down in my office and he began to unpack and share with me about a transition that is happening in both him and Kathy's life. So he said it was at the beginning of 2025 in January that the Lord began to speak to them prophetically about a change and a transition, and he said, I feel like the Lord has shown us signs following that that transition is now upon us. And so, beginning on March 1st, both him and Kathy will be moving to Knoxville, Tennessee. He's going to be taking a chief operation. officer a COO position at a company that is that is growing as well as working as a fractional XP at a church there or a fractional XP executive pastor at a church that he's been in great relationship with throughout all these years and man I'm just gonna tell you I love pastor Jeff and Kathy I love their sensitivity to the to the Spirit of God they're some of our closest friends we've we've gone through COVID together through expanding this campus through you know we're in the construction process right now for our north campus and seeing the church grow and all kinds of different things we've we've hiked to the Grand Canyon together we've been on a lot of adventures and so it's it's kind of a bittersweet like I'm I'm excited for them but I'm also it hurts losing a friend and I know that there's always going to be friendship there but the reality is when somebody moves their things they change over the course of years because I get to see him every single week and he sees me and so on so forth so so we're gonna celebrate both him and Kathy here in two weeks on March the 1st but that means that I have a I have an opp an opportunity here on our staff I have a vacancy I need an executive pastor because I've tried to do this by myself before and it just I mean it literally almost killed me it literally did so as he shared that with me I remember I went home to Tatum that night I said honey we just need to pray that God sends us like the right person that we don't go backwards that we actually charge forward because we've got a bright future ahead we've invested the last 15 years of our life here and

we've got we've got another good 15 years left to like give it everything that we've got before we pass the baton and so we just begin to pray and there's a gentleman that's in our church that I've known for 18 years I've known his family our kids have done birthdays together when the kids were smaller and and what's crazy is is that last year about the exact same time that God was beginning to prod the heart of pastor Jeff God began to prod the heart of this this this incredible man so he comes from the corporate world and God has gifted him in the area of leadership in fact he's got grit comes from an army background was in the military started is the company with nothing and within 15 years they have over 800 employees couple billion dollars worth of market share and in just living at the peak in the top of all of like you you don't get any more peak than than this I mean it's the top of the top the cream de la crema it's just incredible and it was last year right at this point right now God told him he said I want you to quit your job he's like God what am I supposed to do and God never told him what to do next so all he did is he said I'm gonna be obedient to what God has spoken to me and so he walked in to his friend the CEO and just said I'm so sorry but I'm giving you my letter of resignation effective here in 30 days and you know they asked the court what are you gonna do he's like I don't know I'm just obeying God and so he stepped out of something that was very secure into the unknown and so for the last year I've been walking with him on this journey and it's incredible the the character the depth the perseverance the hunger to fulfill and to please God and everything that he says and he does and so when pastor Jeff came to me and shared about this transition I just said I wonder if God is orchestrating this together and so I sat down with him in the very first week of January and I said hey would you be interested in taking this executive pastor role in the Life Fellowship organization and so he said I need to pray about it he prayed came back a week later and said I feel like God is giving me the green light on this because I would never do anything half-heartedly I'm gonna give it everything that I've got he said I'm in

and so I am very excited to announce that it was back in February 1st that he joined our team today we're making that news public to you and I'm excited to announce pastor Trent Wood and his wife Carly is going to be our new executive pastor here at Life Fellowship Church and if I could have the two of you guys please stand in fact you can see there in fact Tyler why don't you stand up too man come on Stand up. This is their son Tyler back from college, man. I'll just tell you what. Uh, this is an exceptional family You're going to get to know them to love them Trent serves on our board of elders here, uh for the church and I can promise you this our best days are yet ahead We are not shrinking back. We are moving forward with great strength. So today, uh, make sure that you uh, Greet, uh, jeff and kathy in the lobby then also you can come and give your congratulations Congratulations to both uh, pastor trent and carly. Come on everybody. Please stand to your feet prayer teams are going to be here We'd love the opportunity to pray with you let me bless you as you go today Don't forget next week My lovely bride tatum will be with me on the platform as we speak about conflict Because there is now trouble in paradise and we're going to talk about that next week Lord bless you and keep you lord make his great face to shine upon you and be gracious to you in jesus name. I pray amen And amen. God bless you. Everybody. Love you. You're dismissed