A Testimony of God’s Unconditional Love | You Are Loved Podcast

My goal is to share people's incredible stories in the hopes of encouraging you to keep going no matter how hard it is and to show you how loved you are by your heavenly father. This week, I have the honor of sharing with you Tina's story. Trauma as a child turned Tina into a broken young woman. Rejection caused her to walk down a dark path looking for love and acceptance. Fear and insecurity caused her to build walls that damaged relationships and unforgiveness caused her to become bitter. The Lord got a hold of her heart and showed her how she could change everything and live a life of freedom. But there was a choice she would have to make. Watch to see what that was. - So tell me a little bit about yourself. - Tina Haperley, I am, I love Jesus, he's brought me so far in my life and has a call on my life and I have two beautiful children, a wonderful husband and actually living my dream right now through encouraging ladies and empowering women and playing lots of pickleball. (laughing) Having some fun. - Good, yeah. So tell me about your life before you knew and were so in love with Jesus. - I was a very broken, very wounded,

insecure, unforgiving person and worn into a world, very chaotic world to alcoholic parents who were divorced before I was even a year old and started moving state to state, school to school, would make a friend and would immediately be plucked out of that onto another state, school environment. So I was very shy as a child and through all of that there was some abuse of some sexual abuse that occurred to me. There was some verbal abuse. My mother was very verbally abusive which was very traumatic for me and my father was, he was very violent alcoholic. He would come in and have these drunken rages where he would just be very violent and want me to go with him. So I was a lot of fear in my childhood, a lot of fear and I remember just running to my room, jumping out the window, running to the neighbor's house to find safety. So I had a lot of fear growing up in that and fast forward that was my life for the next 11 years. And so I was probably 12, 13 years old and moved in with my grandmother and she was a very godly lady. I'm so grateful for godly grandmothers who was so selfless and took me in

despite having raised eight children of her own. And so she took me in and loved me like her own. She was very poor and she tried to show me Jesus the best she could. Took me to church, did all the things that she was busy working and just me and her. So just trying to survive basically. And so by the time I was probably 16, a lot of the stuff I had been through in my early childhood started festering inside me and started coming out and I'm acting out. So that led me down a dark path of acceptance and unfortunately I didn't turn to the church for acceptance, I turned to the world. And the world will accept you and not in a way that I wanted, but so my story goes to alcohol, drugs, men, just trying to find that acceptance because parental wounds and rejection are so powerful in our lives. And I had no idea that was what was going on at the time, but I was so looking for that acceptance. And so for several years, that was happening. And so I think it's a very important thing It was-- I was not in a good place before Jesus. How old were you when you got pulled out of that or when you met Jesus? I was about 18, maybe 19 years old. And I got married early. And thankfully, it worked out.

We're still going today. Incredible man. He's fantastic. So I met the Lord right after we were married. And I gave him my heart. And I didn't really see a lot of-- saw some change in my life, but I didn't see a lot of change because-- and I know it was because of everything that was inside. And I think I tried to hide and tried to mask all of that pain. And it was coming out through my relationship. I almost lost my husband through that. Was very, very insecure. And it was difficult for me to have relationships. And so meeting Jesus was the beginning of the most beautiful adventure I think I've ever been on because a friend of mine invited me to a lady's weekend. And I'm thinking a lady's retreat-- I don't really want to-- I didn't do well with women. You know, so I'm like, hey, I don't really care for this. And she said, just come on, just give me a chance. So I go and I hear this teaching on forgiveness. And it was so powerful. And it was like God was setting me up for something. And it wasn't sure what it was, but he was setting me up. So that day, I had a choice to forgive. And I always thought, if you forgive someone, it's saying that what they did to you is OK.

And through that weekend, I learned that forgiveness is power for me. And so I made a choice that day to forgive my sexual abuser, to forgive my parents. And then I also learned that Bible says that not only do you have to forgive these people, you have to pray for them. And you have to bless them. And I say, God, this is not in me to do. But I'm going to try because this is your word. And I want to please you. So I would pray for these people. And I'd say, God bless them. And you know I don't mean it. You know I don't mean it because he knows everything. And so I figured out that you can't pray for someone and hate them at the same time. So I started to feel compassion for both my mother and my father. And I started to see that they were very broken people. And hurting people really do hurt people. And so I started meaning sincerely praying for them. And I actually was able to, after years fast forward a few years, my father was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. And through the power of forgiveness, I was able to take care of him because I knew God asked me to. And anytime God asked you to use your pain for a purpose, he's up to something. So I didn't quite know then what he was up to.

But through that process of caring for my father, taking him to doctor's appointments, the chemo, the radiation, all the things. God was working. And it was a beautiful process to watch because at the end of it all, I was able to ask my dad, are you OK with God? Do you know God because my dad was-- his heart was very cold. He was a very bitter man. And he said, yeah, Tina, I have. Me and God are good. You don't have to worry. And so I have peace knowing when he passed that he's with Jesus now. But I knew that when I said yes, and I just gave God my little yes both times for forgiveness and for caring for my father because I knew in my own power I couldn't do that. I knew that it was going to take something way bigger than me, somewhere way bigger than me. And he was able to help me do that. And I am forever grateful for that true encounter with him that changed my life forever. Yes. That's beautiful. I love that. And that you're right. That forgiveness is-- It's a...

I love when you said you can't pray for someone and hate them at the same time. - That's right. - Yeah. - You absolutely cannot, and I think with that, God just uses that. You know, it's like a little step of faith to be obedient to His Word, and He does the rest. Just like He always does in Scripture. You know, it's like, I'll give you my little yes, and watch Him do something incredible with it. - He's so good. - So, since then, how has your life transformed and been different? What is it like today now that you've experienced healing and forgiveness? - Well, just knowing the Father's love has changed my life so drastically, and that was a journey of a lifetime that I asked Him for, I desperately wanted to be loved. I mean, we all do, and I desperately wanted unconditional love because I never got that from either of my parents. And so, I asked God, I said, "God, can you just prove to me that you love me for who I am, not for what I can do for you, just for who I am because I'm your daughter?" And any time that we ask God or anybody to prove something to us, we have to make room for that. We have to give them room because that requires trust. When you're a control freak, like Iowa, you don't trust a lot of people.

And that was very scary and very, very difficult for me to do. And so, God was so patient with me. He was so sweet to me. And it was a beautiful process of watching Him just start to break down my walls, just brick by brick, you know, because I had so many walls built up to guard my heart because that was my safe place. And as bad as it sounds, how is comfortable in my pain because I knew what to expect. No surprises when you're comfortable in your pain, at least you know. So I didn't know what was on the other side of that, but I knew God had something. He was up to something. And so, little by little, He started breaking down those walls and proving to me that He really loved me for just who I was with no strings attached. And it was just so sweet. And so, I gave Him an opportunity to listen. I'm going to give you an opportunity to prove this to me. I found a scripture. 1 John 418, "Perfect Love Cast Out All Fear." When we know that we are loved perfectly, we act differently. So, after a couple years of Him starting to get through my hard skull and just repeatedly letting me know, I said, "Okay, one of my biggest fears." And people would tell me, "Tina, just face your fear. Just face your fear." And I wanted to, with facing your fear, without Jesus, isn't really, it never really worked for me. So, I found that scripture.

I stood on that scripture. And one of my biggest fears was flying on an airplane. And so, I said, "Okay, Lord, I'm going to book a flight." And I did, and He was with me the entire way. And, you know, it may seem like a trivial thing to some. But, you know, God cares about the details. He cares about any struggle that we have, anything that's holding us back. He wants us to truly live a life of freedom. And so, that was just such a beautiful experience to know that He looked, and He's still proving it to me every day. And there's more. You know, we will never, ever discover the depths of His love for us. So, I'm enjoying getting to know that. - Yes, a little more each day. - Every day, girl, I love that. Since you brought up love, let's talk about love for a minute. I think that the world has a confused understanding of what true love looks like. And it sounds like you did as well. And now you know what real genuine love is. And I know that it's hard to say, describe that, and explain that, but how could you tell someone what love used to look like today and how radically different it -- or used to look like and how radically different it looks today? - Yeah. So, I think about the view of love. I think our vocabulary, the word "love" is misused So it doesn't really do the word justice.

For me, love was so fickle and it was emotional. And I was looking for that steady love. And I found glimpses of that in my grandmother who showed me love and took me in and wanted the best for me. But I knew there was more. And when I found this journey with God of unconditional love, it truly has brought me to a place of confidence. Like I've never known because rejection will strip your confidence. A verbally abusive mother who tells you you're basically good for nothing will strip away any confidence that your little brain as a child would ever start to develop. And so I have found true identity and true joy and trust and so many things that the Lord is just showing me day to day and I look for it. I look for His love in so many things. I don't believe in coincidences as a believer in Christ. I look for size of His love, little nuggets throughout the day. And I think we have to be intentional with looking for those things because He is pursuing our hearts. He is always all through my life. He was pursuing my heart. Even when I had those walls built up in some days, I still feel some of that wall is still there. He's still pursuing that. And I've never had my life. Never had someone pursue me that way.

And it's a beautiful thing, our relationship with Him. But His love with no strings attached has forever changed my life. I'll never be the same. Love, the definition of love will never be the same for me because it is the constant, the steady in my life that I looked for and so many other things. I love that. So beautiful, I love how you described that. I know that you do a lot of work with women and that your heart is seeing women restored and redeemed and finding their identity, just like you did. And I think there will be a lot of women watching this. What would you say to somebody who was struggling like you were struggling to feel accepted, struggling with rejection, struggling with fear? What could you say to them to give them some hope? Yeah, just know that, I mean, it may sound cliche, but everything is truly found in Jesus. And I would challenge them to find out just how beautiful He is and just what He has to offer and just how much He cares and how much He wants a relationship and how that He is relentlessly in pursuit of our hearts. He's not after anything else, there is no agenda. God doesn't need or want your money. He's after our hearts. And I think when we truly understand that and we truly accept that, it's one of the most beautiful things and it's not freedom is not found in a bottle.

It's not found in a pill. It's not found in a relationship. It's not even truly found in the good things. It's not found in a marriage, in a child. And those are great things, but it's only found in Jesus. And He is so ready to just chase us down and let us know that. And it's beautiful, it's such an incredible thing that someone who has nothing to offer Him that He offers me everything. You know, I'm so grateful that you agreed to come on and share. And I know that you share with the ladies, but I believe your story is going to reach a lot of people who are hurting, a lot of people that don't know that truth about Jesus and how much He desires to know them and share His love with them and to watch someone who's been through some really tough things, but be able to find forgiveness and strength and identity and just this boldness and this love for people and this. I mean, it's just an awesome thing to see. Thanks, Katie. It has to be God because, you know, I had so many issues with women and that's probably because of my mother. goes on and on, and of all things that God could use me for. He's using me to help ladies who have been it, and exactly where I was, and to say there is a life, a life that's so much better, that's so much peaceful, so more peaceful. There's so much freedom and joy and fun, and an adventure.

You know, I always say life with God is an adventure because it truly is. You know, living as a believer doesn't have to be, you know, no fun, and I've had more fun with these ladies that I have ever had in my life. We do fun things together, there's always food involved. There has to be, whether I've ever said that. I mean, we play pickleball together, you know, and we get in the word together, and we study the word together and find out, you know, who we really are, because a lot of us have never known that, you know, and when I found my identity in Christ, and he accepts me for who I am, anybody else is just a bonus. If anybody else accepts me, that's a bonus, but as long as he accepts me and loves me, then life is great, and that makes me very happy. Yes. Well, I love that. Thank you. So thank you. Thank you for everything that you do, and all the joy and hope that you bring and encouragement to people and all the people you're going to reach by agreeing to come here and open up and share. So I'm really grateful for you. Thank you, Kate. Grateful for you, too, girl. Wasn't that story so inspiring? I loved when Tina said her heart was radically changed when she realized that forgiveness equaled power. Also, isn't it amazing how the Lord uses us to help the very people we don't want to? Tina showed us this not only when she was able to help her father, but also in how she lives her life, encouraging and empowering other women. Tina currently serves as the leader of Rio Revolution Church's Ladies Ministry, where she creates space where women can come together, connect with one another, and grow spiritually. Check out their website for more information.

Tina wants you to know that there is healing available when you experience the genuine, unconditional, no strings attached love of the father. Join us next week to hear another encouraging story and be sure to subscribe or follow so you never miss an episode. Most importantly, I pray that you know no matter how far you or someone you love have run from God, it is never too late. There is always hope because you are loved. [Music]