Why Our Words Matter More Than We Think | Proverbs 18:21 | Ryan Kramer

called My Big Fat Mouth, turn to your neighbor and say this message is for you. No, you better not do that, you better not do that, you better not do that. Well, we're gonna hop into that here in a moment, but would you help me welcome our Liberty Correctional Campus today? (audience applauding) It's so great to have you guys join us and worship with us today. Let me see if you can finish this statement. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. That I'm convinced that has to be the biggest lie that we're ever taught as a kid, the biggest lie, because listen, we rarely remember the bumps and the bruises and the scratches and maybe the occasional broken bone or something like that, but man, do we still remember the things that are spoken over us a decade ago, two decades ago, 40 years ago, like things like, you know, you're lazy, you're never gonna amount to anything, or why can't you be more like your brother or your sister? Nobody wants you here, like some of us heard that on the playground when we were growing up as a kid or how disappointed, you know, somebody is in us or you're not good enough, you're not good enough to be on this team, you're not good enough to hang out with this crowd.

And I think it's crazy how much power is in those statements. And it's crazy how much power is in those statements and you think about the person that said them, doesn't remember it, they've moved on with their life, but you and I are the ones that are stuck carrying the weight of those things that people have said. And in many cases in our life, if you really go digging deep into childhood, into things that were spoken, you'll identify that you have oriented your life in many ways in order to overcompensate for the things that have been spoken over you in your life. I mean, words just have a way of sticking with us, of staying with us. And here's the thing that I kind of think about with the series, that if words have a way of staying with us, and I think we would all connect and relate to that, then you'd think that we'd be more careful using them, right? We're a home. Anybody remember the old, the old cell plans, right? Like I had, I remember back, my first cell phone was a next cell, the walkie talkies back in the day. I thought that was the coolest thing. I wore it on the side of my hip and I tucked my shirt around it 'cause I wanted everybody to see that I had a cell phone because I was cool. 500 minutes a month is what my plan was. You remember those days, free nights and weekends, right? Remember that? And every once in a while, like you'd have to hit pound,

six, four, six, pound in order to check the minutes to see where you stand before the end of the month and not go over. And I think about that, nowadays you have unlimited minutes when it comes to talking. And I think sometimes maybe that's the problem that we have in life because since words feel unlimited, we tend to treat them as insignificant. Like they're not really that big of a deal and because we treat words as insignificant, we tend to minimize the damage that they cause in our life, the damage they cause in other people's life. Some of the ways that we minimize that, think about it as phrases, statements, like I was just joking, right? I didn't mean it that way or I was just angry at the time and it just came out or sometimes we'll say something like, you know, well, they're just being too sensitive. Like it wasn't really that big of a deal or here's the big one that if you say this, like really evaluate it a little bit, but that's the way I am, like this is just the way I am. So you've got to kind of deal with the way I am. And here's the tension that that creates in our life is that we look at the things And here's what we have to understand, and it's really the heart behind the series that we're going to be in, is that the Bible never describes the words in which we speak as just words. They're way more than just words. The Bible describes them as having an enormous amount of weight in our life, weight in people's

life. And so as we as we lean into this series, which honestly is not an easy series to talk about, but as we lean into the series, I think it's going to help us to just kind of slow our role a little bit with some of the words that we say. It's going to help us to be able to identify the kinds of words that are coming out of our mouth and the impact that they're having in our life and all the lives of others. And so I'd really encourage you to stick with us for the next four weeks because I think it's going to be super enlightening as we identify the impact, the power and the weight of the words in which we speak. If you're taking notes today, I've entitled today's message "The Power of Words." And if you got your Bibles, turn with me to Proverbs chapter 18, Proverbs 18, and I'm going to open us up in prayer. Father, we thank you for this amazing opportunity to come together as a community of believers to grow in your word. Lord, we pray that your spirit would just breathe in this moment. Lord, today we open our hearts, we open our minds, open our ears. Lord, we want to hear not what a man is saying from a platform, but we want to hear from your spirit today. Lord, challenge us, convict us. Lord, give us the courage to respond to the things that you stir in our hearts today. In Jesus' name. Amen. So, I want to build this series on the foundation of one verse, and we're going to go into way more verses through the series, but this really becomes the anchor that we're going to look at the rest of the series through, and it's founded Proverbs chapter 18, verse 21. You may be familiar with this, says, "The tongue can bring death or life. Those who love the talk will reap the consequences." Let's read that again. "The tongue can bring death and life. Those who love the talk will reap the consequences."

Solomon, who is the writer of Proverbs, is trying to help us understand something that really is profound. He's trying to help us understand that our words are not just words. They don't simply leave our mouth and then disappear into the air and cease to matter anymore. But he's trying to help us see here that our words are actually a vehicle. They're a vehicle that are carrying one of two things, life or death. And the reason why this for us is such a big deal for us to slow down and to really deeply evaluate what Solomon's trying to help us see here in Scripture is because Jesus says, and we're going to look at it later, Jesus says that we will be held accountable for the words in which we speak, and that's heavy. That's an enormous amount of weight that we need to be aware of. And so what I want to do is I want to take our time and I want to give you three reasons why our words matter so much. The first one if you're taking notes is that our words become a weight that people carry. Our words as we speak them out become a weight that other people carry. Did you notice in the Proverbs verse that there are only two types of words, right? Death or life? There's no in between, there's no... how it was just joking. There is either life words or death words. Another what Solomon is saying here is that words can either heal or wound. They can either encourage or discourage. They can unify or they can divide. They can build trust or they can destroy it. They can strengthen someone or they could diminish someone. Life or death. He says this in Proverbs 12, 18. He says the words of the reckless.

Look at this, it pierces like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. I would challenge you today to just consider which one of those you typically fall under. Do your words typically come across as a sword that is piercing or does your words come across as something that is bringing healing to wounds? See, our wounds will either create a wound or they'll heal like medicine. And I wanna help visualize it this way today. So I think that we have to recognize that in life, kind of think about it this way. I want you to picture that every one of us in this room, every one of you at Liberty, throughout your life, you have been wearing an invisible backpack. And in that invisible backpack, you carry weight. You carry things that when you were growing up, right? Maybe it was something with a coach in your life, in Pee Wee or Little League or in dance or whatever it was that it was like this constant criticism that you would get. Nothing you did was ever good enough or the reasons why you can't do this or do that. And that criticism became like a brick, a block that you began to carry in your life. And so throughout your life, we become more sensitive to criticism because it's something that we're already carrying in our life. For some of you like growing up or college or whatever, like you had friends and those friends started gossiping

about you and it started creating hurt that created these deep wounds on the inside. And every time that began to happen and listen, whether it was to us directly or whether it was about us indirectly, it still becomes weight that we carry. And so in our life, we have this invisible backpack that we're just, we're carrying around in our life. And so when people come into our life and they do things that reject us, right? We begin to feel rejected as a person like it. They may say the thing and they walk away and they may have not even really in their heart intended to be that way, but it translated that way and it became a weight that you carried. Maybe it's insecurity from a relationship, insecurity from a job or something and things were communicated to you and they became a weight that you carried. And this weight, it builds up over time and it gets heavy and you've got failure, right? The times that you took a risk, you put yourself out there and it didn't work out and instead of people encouraging you and lifting you up in a difficult season, right? They're speaking negatively, they're looking at, and it creates this weight of failure that goes into your individual backpack or shame. heavier as we walk around. Every time somebody says something, even when they say, "I was just kidding. It was no big deal. It's just the way I am. I'm sarcastic. I'm that way."

That's great, but it doesn't change the kind of weight that we end up carrying in our life. Just because somebody else feels like the words in which they spoke are insignificant or not that big of a deal doesn't mean that the weight doesn't become heavy to carry in our lives. Something that we carry around in our heart everywhere that we go. The reason why I want to help you visualize this is because, yes, you're carrying weight just like I'm carrying weight, but I want you to look at it this way, not about what happens to you, but I want you to consider what you're contributing to somebody else. Because every death word that we share for whatever reason we share it is adding weight into somebody else's life. It becomes a burden in which they carry in their journey of following Jesus. What's interesting is that yes, death words can be a burden, but life words. What's cool about life words is life words can equip people for their journey. You see, life words would be more like speaking truth and love that allows you to be able to help shine some light on a path that people are taking. Like you could be critical or you could, and it be a burden in their life, or you could give truth and love which ends up equipping them in life. And so some of these things, like that's the choice that we have in life. Every time we speak something to somebody, what are we going to bring? Are we bringing value, like an apology or forgiving somebody or asking for forgiveness? Like those things can be a first aid kit to the soul in somebody's journey of trying to follow Jesus, right? Or you've got wisdom. Or you sit down with somebody and you unpack like where they're at and what they're walking through without any criticism, without any judgment, of just wanting to be a thanking partner to help them in their journey. And all of a sudden, you're giving them a tool, you're helping to equip them for their spiritual journey in life. So I think the question that we've got to wrestle with in the series is, are we adding burdens to the bag that people are carrying in life? Or are we equipping them? Are we giving them tools that will help them to become all that God has created them to be because the reality is, is every word we speak, think about this, every word we speak is either life or death, which means it's either equipping or it's adding a burden. And that's a weight and an awareness that you and I have to be aware of every time we speak words. The second thing that I want to show you today is that our words, they create an atmosphere in which we live in. And you may not be aware of this, but the words that come out of our mouth begin

to create the environment in which we experience in our own life. Remember that part in verse 21, those who love the talk will reap the consequences. I love how the NIV puts it, it says in the same verse, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." In other words, words aren't just sounds that come out of our mouth, words are seed and seed eventually Encouragement is going to produce something, dishonesty is going to produce something, gratitude is going to produce something, gossip, wisdom. All of these things will ultimately produce something in our life. They will produce the environment in which we experience and we live in. Think about it this way from a practical sense, and see if you can connect the dots at all in your life with this. But if we continually criticize people, we can't be surprised when they become guarded around us, because our words are seed that are creating the environment in which we live in. Parents, like if we're constantly tearing down our children, then we shouldn't be surprised when they stop opening up to us. When we gossip about everyone, we shouldn't be surprised when nobody trusts us or wants to be around us. It's the reality of the words in which we speak create the environment in which we experience. I want to take it like a step deeper, and I want to help you see something that I had never seen before until today, and it's the reality of the same is true with God. Have you heard that verse before that he inhabits the praises of his people? The word, the life words in which we express to God creates an environment that we live in. If we're constantly like disappointed and never thankful and never grateful for all that God has blessed us with, then it creates the environment, the spiritual environment that we live in. And then thirdly, and I think this could be the most important one is that our words carry consequences beyond this life. Here's what Jesus says in Matthew 12, 36 through 37, I tell you this, that you must give an account on Judgment Day for every idle word you speak. That's Jesus, y'all. Like Jesus, the man who is compassionate, the man who just loves you with everything says that you and I are going to give an account on Judgment Day for every idle word that we speak. He says the words that you say will either acquit you or condemn you. Now, friend, I want to make sure that I'm clear, we're not talking about salvation. Okay, we're talking about Judgment Day. Those are two different things. Judgment Day is when Jesus returns, right? The dead in Christ rise. There is a moment where all of us become accountable

for every action, everything that we have said in our life. This isn't a, am I going to spend eternity in heaven or hell thing? This is okay, even after I walk through the pearly gates and I'm in heaven and I'm with Jesus, there will come a time that I am held accountable for every word that I speak. That there are consequences beyond this life. I mean, these are, these are including the words that we try to excuse, right? I was just venting or I only told one person or I was joking. I was just telling the truth, just being real, right? All of those excuses may work for us here, but they're not going to work for us on Judgment Day. So we may dismiss what we say in the gravity in which we say it, but Jesus doesn't. I don't know if you've ever wondered why Jesus would take our idle words, which that word in the original language means careless. It's the offhand words, the things, the casual conversations that we just kind of just, we throw out there and we say and I think it's It says, "For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." So it doesn't matter what excuses we give with what we say or how truthful we think those words are, Jesus says that our words reveal some things that are happening on the inside of our heart. So that the outbursts of anger, it's something in the heart that is speaking up. The bitterness that we carry in our life towards people, it's that that's speaking up in our life and it comes out in words, right? Our words begin to reveal the critical spirit or the pride or the fear that's on the inside of us. But here's what I want you to see today is that faith speaks up, too. That grace, when we experience grace, that it speaks up in our life in the way in which we speak words to others, because we become more compassionate and understanding of others, because we recognize the grace that God has bestowed to us or gratitude. Like as we begin to be thankful, like people might not have everything perfect, but there's some things that they're doing that's benefiting our life. And when we will focus on the life words, not the death words, and we'll be grateful for those things that we communicate. It shows what's going on on the inside of the heart. See, our words reveal what our heart contains, and that's something that we've got to feel

the weight of today, and that's why words and the things that come out of our mouth, that's why they're not just words. They're seeds. They're weight. They're either words that create a burden that somebody has to carry, or they're words that equip them for the journey ahead. So if our words are that significant, if our words matter that much, then how do we respond? Like, what do we need to do today to become more aware of the weight of our words? I just want to challenge you with one thing this week, and it's really not difficult. But one thing this week, and the challenge is this, weigh your words before you release them. weigh your words this week before you release them. And what would that look like in your marriage? What would that look like with parenting your kids? What would that look like in your workplace? What would it look like for you to weigh your words before you release them? Just stop treating your words as something that is weightless, and realize that there's significance behind every idle word in which we speak. Because every time we speak, whether it's directly to people or whether it's about people, we're placing something inside their backpack. It's either going to be a tool or a burden. It's a friend before you leave today, and as you get into your week, like, just consider that before you send that text, before you make that post on social media, or before you get caught in the comments on social media, or before you send that email, what would it look like for you to create a pause? Like a pause button? Well, these words that are are in my mind that are about to come out of my mouth are they gonna add a burden? Or are they gonna quit them? A friend this doesn't mean that we avoid difficult conversations or only say things that People want to hear because how many know that sometimes the most life-giving words

That we can speak or honest words. They're corrective words Right, what does the Bible say that the God disciplines those he loves? Right correction is not a bad thing, but the way in which we correct Can be But there's a difference between speaking truth to help someone and using truth to hurt someone And so here's my challenge to you And I think we got it up on the screen But before you say anything before you you do the post you send the email you pause Just pause for just a few seconds and feel the weight of the words That you're about to share and Then as you feel the weight identify Are these words gonna be a burden to this person or are they going to be a tool? And once you identify those decide whether to release them or not friend I'm telling you Do the thing that you wish other people would do for you pause feel the weight Identify what it's carrying Decide whether to release it or not And friend please if you get it wrong, which we all do Be quick to take responsibility Don't defend your words. Don't explain them away. Don't don't blame somebody else, but simply recognize The weight that you added and own it The begin repairing what your words damaged Amen.