We Speak Differently | Student Ministry

we want, how we speak, what we do with what we've been given, and what we allow to control us. Jesus shows us how we can live differently than the rest of the world. Following Jesus doesn't pull us out of the world, He sends us back into it, changed. Not to prove that we're better, not to stand out just for the sake of standing out, but because when Jesus changes our hearts, He changes how we participate in the world around us. We are in the world, but we don't have to live like we're in the world. We can live differently. Let me ask you this question, who here has said a bad word before? Now, I'm not talking about one of those bad words your parents make up, just for you, like but or fart. My wife Brittany was actually not allowed to say fart growing up. She had to say puff instead. Really? Man, who puffed up in here or that puff was absolutely ranked? No, I'm talking about the actual bad words that we all know about. The type of words that are in only certain movies and TV shows that you know you should be watching. All right, on the count of three, we're all just going to say one bad, no, I'm just kidding. We're not going to say bad word, we're in church, you got me. Ask yourself this, who here has have said words before in a situation they know they shouldn't have? Or how about this? Who here have used words to bring people down? Let me ask you guys this, did you know that you have power? Like a lot of power, because words hold a lot of power. What we say about ourselves or to other people can shape the way they look at themselves. And so my question for you guys today is what are your words doing? Because they hold a lot of power. Speaking of words, we're going to be getting into the word which is the Bible, which is

the perfect source of truth. What's really cool about the Bible is that we can learn about God's character when we read it. And we can learn how God wants us to speak. And that's what we're going to do today. We're going to be getting into the book of James, which was written by James. That's right. Jesus' brother. We're getting into chapter three, and James in this chapter talks all about the tongue. That's right. Everybody check if they have one. If you don't have one, go seek some medical attention or something. But James starts off this chapter saying something I think we all know. We all mess up. We all stumble. Matter of fact, in verse three, he says, if you want to say you're perfect, you have to have complete control over your tongue, over your words. Yeah, that's not me, and that's not you. I'm guessing. And what James notices about the tongue is that if you can look, I can't really look at it. It's pretty small, especially compared to the rest of your body. But James talks about all the damage something so small can do. In verse five, James says, "So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it can boast great things." The tongue can do great things, but sometimes those great things aren't a positive thing. Anyone here ever weirdly interested in fire growing up? Or maybe you're still interested, which like, it's a little concerning. I remember growing up and seeing fire and being like, "Fire is so cool, man, seeing it flicker and flame.

Maybe I can control it." I watched a lot of anime and Avatar. I got out of it, but have you ever seen a big fire? Like not a cool fire, like a forest fire, a wildfire, like a fire that is destroying everything around it? That is scary. And the thing is, fires like that, they don't just appear that big. speck, a spark, a little bit of ignition with a little bit of wind and you have a fire that destroys everything around it. A wildfire, a forest fire can, it'll destroy properties, it'll destroy nature and trees, it'll also take people's lives. That's how powerful and how dangerous a fire like that is and all it starts is from something really small. And James likens that kind of fire to what our tongue can do. In verse five and six, James says this, consider how a small fire can create an enormous forest fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire. See what James is trying to say is, man, our tongue can do a lot of damage from a little bit, just a little bit of gossip, just a little lie, just a little joke, a little insult to somebody. In those words, just one conversation, it can, man, it can hurt people, it can damage relationships, it can cause pain to people that can last them for years. And James, earlier we said, we stumble, we mess up with our words and I know I have. You know, there was one time in middle school, when I was your guys' age, all my boys were having an overnight sleepover, an overnight hang, okay? This is going to be one of those overnight hangings that was going to be one for the ages. I mean, like, pizza rolls and movies and video games all night. We're going to, while I sports there, top 10, back in one, it was actually watchable and we're just going to hang out. It was something I just couldn't miss. And the thing about my house growing up, my mom wasn't worried too much about fart and puff and all that stuff, but she ran our house like a general. Like, my mom was like a three-foot African lady that felt like she was a lot bigger than you. I don't even know how to explain it. You don't say disrespectful things to her and you definitely don't swear. Absolutely not. And so, you know, I packed my bags for this overnight hang and ready to get picked up and my mom says, "Gersh, you're not going. We're going to spend tonight as a family." I was like, "Mom,

when have we ever done that?" What are you talking about? Please just let me go tonight. Let's hang out tomorrow night as a family. And she just wouldn't budge. She kept saying, "No, you're not going." Even my sister, Debora, who was like my arch nemesis up until like yesterday was on my side. She was like, "Mom, just let them go hang out. I'm kind of sick of looking at him anyway. Just wants to hang out with his friends." My mom just wouldn't budge and I was just so, so angry. And I grabbed my bag and I wasn't crazy. I wasn't going to throw her face, but I threw it at her feet, at her dogs. And I was said, "This is bull sprinkles." And that was the first time I ever swore at my mom. That was the last time I ever swore at my mom. It was like the earth stood still. I kid you not. Her eyes darkened and widened. She grew four feet and her wings came out. It was crazy. My sister switched up on me, switched sides and was like, "Hey, not throw him in his room. Throw away the key. Don't let him eat. Don't let him drink water." It was crazy. And I knew in that moment, I was like, "Why? Why did I even say that? Why would I say that to my mom?" And the thing is, when we think about foul language, when we think about maybe words we shouldn't say, I think we think a lot about swearing and cussing. And the thing is, guys, there's pretty much no situation, no conversation, where using those words will be the solution. But let me say this. This is what I want you to remember. You can go your whole life not swearing, not having a problem with cursing and you could do so much damage still with your words and with your tongue. Matter of fact, you could have someone in your life who uses language at times they shouldn't and still really uplift you and build you up. You see, your words can really still And I've messed up in that too. I've stumbled in that too. And my friend was actually the victim in it. See, when I graduated high school, I chose to go away to college a couple hours away. So that's pretty intimidating. Going to a new place, new people. And so what was really cool is my best friend, my best pal from elementary said, I'm going to that college too.

And let's room together. We'll take over that college together. I was going to go to college with my best friend. Interesting enough, my friend who's going to college with me, most before we left to go to college got surgery on his butt. My friend got butt surgery. That's a real thing. I don't know the details, he told me about it. I was like, I hope you could puff okay, but that was what he had right before we left. And so when we arrived at college, when we were meeting new people, mind you, this is the first impression of me and my friend. I used his butt surgery as an icebreaker. I used it as a funny. I said, hey, what's up y'all? This is, my name's Grish, this is my pal. He's got surgery on his booty, his butt. And so, isn't that crazy? Like, that's what I did. And I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe subconsciously, I was trying to elevate myself, make him feel a little small. But I didn't think it was that big of a deal until people started teasing him about it, making fun of him for it. And then more people started finding out and was joining in on the fun of teasing. And so what I thought was just a funny man,

ended up making my friend the butt of the joke. No pun intended, that's crazy. And man, that story sits with me because I don't wanna be that kind of friend or I don't wanna be that kind of person. I don't think you do either. I wanna live differently. I wanna speak differently. And if we wanna live up to that challenge, what can we do? There's a great verse that tells us on how we can speak and how we can use our tongue. Ephesians 4.29. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs so that it may benefit those who listen. See, I think that verse isn't trying to just police us on everything we say. It's not saying, don't say this word or don't swear in this way, this verse is saying, don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth. And the part that really stands out to me is build other people up. See the thing about a fire, yeah, like I said, it can do a lot of damage. It can be crazy and uncontrolled, but we also know that fire can be really helpful. It can be a campfire where you can bring your friends around, keep warm, make s'mores. You can use fire as a source of light, a candle, a torch.

You can use fire to cook. I love to eat, so I need fire. I need fire in my life. We can use it in our kitchen for our burners and our oven. And so our tongue is the exact same way. We can build people up. And what's crazy is like 20 minutes ago, we were worshiping and praising God, and God loves it. But isn't it crazy? The same tool that we can use to praise God, we can use to hurt other people. James even talks about this in the same chapter that we've been talking about all day, verses nine through 11. With our tongue, we praise our Lord and Father. And with that same tongue, we curse people who have been made in the image of God. What James is trying to say is that don't make sense. We shouldn't be simply and easily worshiping God and also tearing people down who God loves. So my challenge to you this week, what I want you to do is notice your words. What are they doing? Do you have certain patterns that you have in your words? Do you like gossip a lot? Maybe you notice a pattern of using crude language. Maybe you notice a pattern of, man, just tearing people down, just lying, or maybe trying to use any sort of words to gain attention to you. When you notice one of those patterns, what I want you to do

is just simply pray and say, man, I want to speak differently. I felt convicted. And I felt guilty about that situation with my friend in college. So I actually called him like this week and just apologized and said, "Hey man, I value you as a friend but I didn't show that back then." And man, forgive me. And we actually ended up having a great conversation and we laughed about the situation 'cause it's bus surgery. I mean, come on. But what's really cool is that we can do that to other people in our lives. Maybe you have people in your life that you've heard with your words, friends, family, siblings. And so, go to God and pray. Man, I wanna speak differently. See, the thing is if we wanna follow Jesus, we gotta understand every word we say represents him. So let's be people that understand how we use our words and let's lift each other up. [BLANK_AUDIO]