The Way In | Crossroads Daily

Hey I'm Chuck. I'm Kirsten. I'm Miko. And I'm Debo. And we looked at John 14 today. Here's my question for you all. What's your relationship to being in control? How comfortable are you not being in control? Maybe I'll ask it that way. Not. Not comfortable? I'm not comfortable. Me and control have a really love-hate relationship. Say more. I know I don't want it, but I want it all the time. Yeah, I mean I love being in control. I love being able to feel prepared, know what's going to come. I want to know the outcome of things. This has been an area, I think, of my faith. I want to be in control. I want to know what to expect. So, yeah. It feels good sometimes to be in control. Yeah, yeah. Janet Jackson was right. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm dating myself with that reference. I'm dating myself with that reference. It was a song. It was a whole vibe called Control. Somebody out there knows Janet Jackson. You're with me. You're with me. Yeah, someone's clocking it. That's right. Wow. I've been, I think I'm closer to like the other side of through regarding relationship with control. Okay. I've gone through some seasons where God has really like pinned my shoulders to the mat regarding control. I think I've just gotten a lot more comfortable. I think I've seen how like even when I'm in control of situations, then I'm also called to sustain the thing that I've put together and then that falls through. So, it's, I don't know. I think going through some seasons where it's like, you know what, God, I literally don't have control and all I have right now is trust has really just kind of like built me. And I don't know, I say that humbly because I mean, I still have my, my ways at moments, but I think looking back then to where I am now, like I definitely recognize like I'm a lot more at peace with like, okay God, I don't know how this is going to go, but I recognize your hand in it. And I say yes. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Growing up, a lot of things were out of my control. Like a lot of childhood stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like growing up childhood, like from way, way little to high school and an older, like my mom lost custody of my siblings. So I one day had them in my house every single day to the next day. They weren't there anymore. And like when they had a car and the next day I found out it was a stolen car that was given to me like, like crazy things that I think made an unhealthy relationship with control where I'm like, oh, well the more control I have, the more safety I have, the more I am like going to be taken care of whatever. And exactly what you were saying ago was God has totally shown me how much better things

are when I just let him have control. Like with, with the custody stuff, that was actually how I like started following Jesus was I was like, God, I remember falling on my knees and just being like, God, I don't, I literally can't do anything about this situation. There's no, I am not a judge. I am not a parent. I have no idea what to do, but I know like you can fix it. So fix it. And I didn't even know who the God I was talking to was, but I woke up the next day and I had a piece that was like, oh, this is, this is gonna be okay. And now 15 years later it is. And I see all of my siblings and my mom has had such great redeemed relationships with them. Like it's, it's incredible. So control sucks and looks different for all of us. That's so good. And Miko, you use the word peace. And I, I think about John 14 and I think about my own experience. Like I, I used to have regular panic attacks, like full on panic attacks, you know, thought I was going to die the whole thing. And I think about that, that was about me not being able to give up control. And the disciples in John 14 are knowing that Jesus is about to die. They know that something's about to happen. The authorities are looking for them. This guy that they thought was going to like do this overthrow. Cause I think some of them still thought like, okay, when do we pick up swords and fight? Like, when does that happen? And Jesus is like, no, no, I'm about to die. You know, so everything's out of control. And yet Jesus starts in this chapter with the words, do not let your hearts be troubled. That there's a promise of peace in the midst of control. And I want to go here. Cause, cause what he says to them is, yes, I'm going away, but I'm going to leave you the Holy Spirit. And so, let's talk about the Holy Spirit a little bit. I feel like the Holy Spirit is like the uncle we don't talk about sometimes in a Christian church, right? What's an encounter you've had with the Holy Spirit that has helped you with control? Like, personalize the Holy Spirit. Just being vulnerable here. I could think of some years ago when I was in a county jail, and I was being sentenced to do some time in prison. And I just feel so much anxiety. And it was like, I'm in a situation where there's nothing that I can do about this time.

There's nothing I can do about how soon I leave this place. I have zero control over any of this. And I remember talking to God, and I'm like, God, like, okay, I get it. This is where I am, and this is how this has to be. And I don't, there's nothing I can do to speed this process up. But God, don't leave me to do this time feeling like this. Like, I can't do it feeling like this. And I remember just crying out to God in that moment and just, like, taking an exhale. And it's like, for the first time, I just felt the peace of God come over me, where I'm like, like, I feel free, right? Like, I felt like, oh, so I could just call out to you and feel like this? Like, you know what I mean? And that was like, I think that really began, like, my curiosity, but also my trust, where I'm like, I can call out to you for the things that I need. These intangible things that, like, are just so vital to life in this walk with God. And I have access to them. So, yeah. Which is the promise of the Holy Spirit, right? It is access. It is that the literal presence of Jesus, the presence of God, lives inside of us and is available to us. How about you guys, Holy Spirit stories? What does that mean? How has the Holy Spirit helped you with this whole thing of control? I was just telling a college girl this, and it reminded me of my days in college, where I had no sense of what was sinful, what was good, bad, ugly, whatever. I was just like, I'm going to live the way I want to live. And at this point, I'm going to read some Bible, and we'll see what happens. And I tell you what, like, it— Not all Bible. Just some Bible.

Just the ones that, like, you know, makes you feel good. I like this one. I'm taking that one. Sure. And it was, like, the subtle conviction, the, like, gentle, loving conviction of the Holy Spirit. And just the things that I was doing, no one was going to tell me they were bad, because I wasn't willing to put myself in circles where people would tell me that it was bad. But I just slowly felt like, this isn't right. This isn't the way I want to live. I want something different. I want something that lasts longer than, you know, one night where I wake up the next day, and I'm like, that is not what I thought it was going to be. And I just love that, because even though I probably could have used some people being like, you're being an idiot. Stop. God doesn't leave you in that place. Like, the Holy Spirit is brought to remind you of the commandments that the Lord gave you, which I thought is just such a gift. It really is, like, the free gift of the Holy Spirit to, like, nudge you into the right direction if you're willing to receive it. That's good. That's so good. Yeah, I think for me, like, one of my earliest memories, this is, like, right after I gave my life to the Lord fully, like, fully surrendered to God in high school, and just gone through a season with my family where, you know, my dad had just been arrested, had left our home, and there felt like there was so much chaos in my mind, and just, like, identity things. Like, I didn't know who—I was just questioning myself, questioning God. And I remember laying in bed before school, and, like, I had a little radio that just kicked on, and it was just this worship song that just started to play. And even though I was feeling so anxious in that moment,

I felt this wave of just peace in my body. Like, it was, like, comfort and peace that came out of nowhere. And as I've gone older, I look back on that memory, and I remember just laying there for, like, probably 20 minutes, just, like, incomplete peace, even though it felt like there was so much chaos around me. And I can say now, like, looking back, that was the Holy Spirit. Like, me just, like, surrendering these thoughts to God, and then the Holy Spirit just washing over in that moment. And I just think back to that memory over and over again because it encourages me. Like, the Holy Spirit is a comforter, and he's a helper, and he shows up in those moments. And so—and there's been so many moments since then, but that's one of my favorite memories because I think it was, like, my first of just— realizing that. I like that you said you look back on it because it really is a huge hindsight thing where you're usually not aware of what the Holy Spirit's doing in the moment. But as you get older and you look back, you're like, oh my gosh, he was there the whole time. That's so cool. It's interesting you say that because that's the story of the disciples. As this is going on, they're not aware of the care that they're receiving. But when you later on read Peter's writings and John's writings, when they look back, they realize like, man, we were held. We were held. I love what Jesus says. He says, do not let your heart be troubled. It's a choice. It's a choice. Do not let your heart be troubled. It's a hard choice to make. I'm not saying it's easy. But if you're watching this and you've read this today, I just think Jesus is saying that to you. There's probably something that feels or is tempting to cause you to have a troubled heart. I think that's the very thing that Jesus is saying. Do not let your heart be troubled. There is a peace that comes with surrender. There's a peace that comes with the releasing of control. And so what would you say to somebody who is in that place? They're in that teeter-totter of I'm troubled. I want to surrender. What would you say to them right now as a word of encouragement or instruction? Let it go. Let it go. Come on. Come on. Yes. Yes. Prophet Elsa says, let it go. I love it, man. I love it. Ask for the peace. Yeah. I mean, that's simply what I did. So I think that's the best advice I could give. Simply just ask for it and be willing to receive it. Not a

cynical ask. An open ask. Open to be wowed, I guess. That's what's up. That's what's up. Yeah, I love. There's another passage in the Bible that talks about where if you don't have the right words to say, the Holy Spirit also can intercede on your behalf. And so there's been so many times where my heart felt troubled. And I don't even know what to pray or don't even know what to say. And me just saying, I don't know what to say, God. Just help. Like, help. That even in that moment, God can use and the Holy Spirit can intercede on your behalf and give the right words to God for you. And so, yeah, even if you're feeling that, just be available and just say help to God. He'll show up. Yes. Hey, so encouragement today. Do not let your heart be troubled.