The Danger of Selfishness

- All right everybody, welcome to church. Glad to have you here and let me do this. I know it's Parents Weekend here at the U of A. Any parents in the house today of students, raise your hand. Let's give it up for all the mamas and daddies who are here today. (audience applauds) Welcome to you. I promise you, your child has been in church every single weekend, okay? I don't know. Hey we are, we're glad you're here today. Maybe you're brand new and we wanna welcome you as well to our church. I'll be out front and the lobby with my wife Meredith right after the service. We would love to talk to you. Pray with you, get to know you, all that good stuff, but if you got a copy of God's word once, you grab it, first Corinthians chapter nine is where we're gonna be. We are walking through this great book of the Bible. Over about 11 weeks together, we're talking about the 11 dangers for every Christian. And so far we have talked about a lot of things like division, unforgiveness, sexual sin, marriage problems, rejecting godly leadership in your life, all kinds of stuff like that. And today, thankfully, I'm gonna talk about a subject that really doesn't affect anybody at all in this room.

It's in other rooms that we need to be worried about, but today, for your friends that are not at church today, I'm gonna talk to you about the danger of selfishness, okay? There are a lot of surprising things when you get married. Can we all agree with that, married people? If you're a dude, you may be surprised at how long it takes for your wife to get ready, still a shock to me 21 years in. You may be surprised at just how different she is. She has these things called feelings. And so it doesn't matter just what you say, it matters how you say it. Can I get an amen, ladies? Okay, so I was like, that's right, that's right, okay? If you're a woman and you get married, you may be surprised at just how gross he is in general. And I'm a guy, I know it, I'm not offended by it. You may be surprised at how much food means to him. He's a little more sensitive than he would like to let off. And there's just a lot of surprising things when you get into that close of a relationship. You know what I've been most surprised about in my own marriage? I've been surprised at how selfish I am. I really haven't been surprised like shocked at that. And married is way more selfish than I am. And so it's just, we're all shocked, I'm just kidding. Here's what I'd say as we get started. You have a problem. And it's you.

Like I have a problem and it's me. Like we all have problems. And at the center of the problem is you. And the sin nature that you were born with, by the way, it dominates your life. And even after you come to faith in Christ, the Bible describes how there's an old man living inside of you. Like the flesh. And the flesh needs to die on a daily basis because the flesh always thinks about itself. Okay? I often, or every now and then I don't really do a lot of them anymore, but like I'm doing a wedding this weekend, this next weekend on Saturday. And I will often do pretty much the same thing of some variation. And one of the things I talk about with most couples is this. I talk to them about the mirror of marriage. And when I say the mirror of marriage, here's what I mean. If there was like a mirror back by the back wall right here, like I can look at myself right now and be like, I mean, it's not bad. I mean, it's kind of like myself, you know, both ways. And like, okay, like it's not bad. If that mirror was right here, like five inches from my face, well I would, I would see like some really big eyebrows. I've just been an issue my whole life. And if I'm honest with you, it's an eyebrow. Okay, it takes work to make it too, okay?

I would see like sun spots on my face. I would see a grain beard that once was dark and now it's, you know, getting lighter and lighter as I get older. I would just see like my imperfections up close. That's what marriage does to you. And one of the things that is the most shocking of all things in marriage that you realize how much you really do love yourself. Do you remember Torelloans used playing the NFL? T.O. you say that and he said, I love me some me. You know, it's every one of our mantras. I love me some me. You love you some you. And you don't really know that you're selfish. In fact, of all the dangers we've talked about, because you just don't know it if you're selfish. And often it takes something like marriage where you're that up close with somebody and you've never had to worry about anybody else your entire life until you get into this thing and before you know it, she's telling you how selfish you are or he's telling you how selfish you really are. In fact, it was interesting after the 8 a.m. service, I was in the lobby talking. And I had two women, I don't know their exact age, but 60s plus, okay? Both single, one of them widowed, one of them not married. And they both came up to me and said, you know what, as a single person, like this is a major thing in my life. One of them said, because I don't have somebody else

in the home with me besides my dog, like I don't have to deal with this and so I battle selfishness. I would tell you this, when we begin to fight for our rights, closeness will never be achieved. In fact, do like little homework Bible-wise for you. I'd like you to go home and just find in the Bible where you're supposed to be concerned about your rights. I think you'll struggle to find that. Here's the incredible thing, I've talked a lot about marriage and singleness already. I guess what, Paul ain't talking about marriage in this passage today. As used as a picture, 'cause it's one way that it is often highlighted, but he's not talking about marriage at all in this passage. He's talking about the Christian life and he is specifically speaking about how you were to live as a Christian in order to reach other people with the hope of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And here's what I tell you, many people and many Christians will never reach another person for the hope of Jesus or with the hope of Jesus, because they're just consumed with themselves. Many people will never make a kingdom impact for the kingdom of God, 'cause you're just consumed with yourself. And so, while I'm about to talk about this passage in chapter nine of 1st Corinthians, here's what I tell you.

No doubt these principles apply to marriage, but it's not about marriage. These apply to the workforce, although it's not about your career. These apply in your family, it's not about your family. It applies in church, what we're doing right now, but it's really not even about church. It's about you and your own, listen to me, evangelism of lost people in your life. Evangelism is just simply, I am trying to reach you with the message of the gospel, okay? And so, here's what I'm gonna talk about today. I wanna talk to you about selfishness versus servanthood. I'm gonna contrast those throughout the entirety of the message and throughout this passage together. Let's begin reading together. If you don't have the Bible, don't worry, just look at the screens and grab your journal. I'm gonna give you some notes along the way. Here's what Paul says, verse 19. He says, "For though I am free from all, "I have made myself a," what's the word? Yell it out, "a servant to all that I might win more of them." I want you to notice how many times he speaks about winning people to Jesus in this passage. Now, Paul's here, one of the things I want you to understand about Bible study is that in order to rightly interpret the Bible, you never just cherry pick a verse out of the Bible and just apply it to your life. You gotta understand who is the author speaking to,

who is the audience that is receiving this, and what is the overall context of what they're already talking about in the passage. And so in order to understand verse 19, you really gotta read the several verses before that. I would encourage you to do that on your own. Let me highlight one of those, which gives you the main thought. It's verse 14, so look back there in your Bible. It says, "In the same way, the Lord commanded those who proclaim the gospel should get their living by the gospel." You say, "Well, I'm more confused now than I was." What is the Bible speaking about? Paul is saying this, that it is okay for a person called in the ministry, say a pastor, minister, missionary to make their living by what they do in the gospel ministry, okay? What Paul is saying is this, that even though it's fine for me to do that, he says, "I have rejected that right, and I have made myself a servant of all." Now, let's just yell it out. Anybody remember what Paul did for a living? Like, how did he make money? Yell it out. He's a tent maker. You say, "Well, what's a tent maker?" A person who makes tents.

That's what a tent maker is, all right? So he made tents, and he would sell tents. That's how he made a living as he was doing the gospel ministry. And so here's an incredibly basic takeaway for us. I want you to write this in your journal. Selfishness thinks about me. Servanthood thinks about others. Selfishness thinks about me and servanthood thinks about others. Paul had every right to earn a living in this way, even in biblical justification for it. "Man, I don't want to think about myself. I want to think about other people." And his mind, this was the thought. If this hinders even one person from coming to faith in Christ, I will just make myself a servant of all. Now, sounds pretty familiar to the way that Jesus is described by Paul in the book of Philippians. I want you to just look at the screen, Philippians chapter two. By the way, great verse to teach your children about this is what Jesus is like. This is how you should treat your sister. All right, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others. Have this mind among yourselves,

which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped. But he emptied himself by taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of men, verse eight, "And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." Here's what I tell us. If the God of the world can humble himself and take on the form of a servant, what's our excuse? Like if God, according to the specialist, did not count equality with God, Jesus, did not count equality with God, a thing to be grasped was like, "Hey, I will humble myself even to the point of death, then what is our excuse for not living in the form of a servant?" Someone once said it this way, that humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less. So we all have to make humility as like, well, don't think good about yourself, like Nick, you're kind of short and you're bald and like, that's humility is to realize those things. That's embarrassing, but it's not humility, okay? Humility is not thinking bad things about yourself. Humility is just not thinking of yourself. So I'm gonna talk about this for a little bit here. Forget yourself, forget yourself. Set in the lingo of what we're talking about

with servanthood, servanthood is not thinking less of yourself, but it is thinking yourself about yourself a lot less. Could there be a more like anti-2026 message than that right there? Take on the form of a servant, put others before yourself and don't bring attention to yourself, just forget yourself. Is there like anything more that we could say that would just go directly in the face of the culture today than that? Culture says this, make it all about you. I do all that you can for yourself. Social media says, bring attention to everything in your life, only the good. And show them the highlights of your life and the vacation and the beach that you are at. Show them your coffee, show them your food pictures. Actually don't take off those, I actually like those, okay? But everything else, it's all about me and lift up me and show you me and it's all about my life and it's all about I am all about me and the Bible stands in direct contrast to that and says, forget yourself. Like servanthood says, think about others not about yourself. And Paul says, I have made myself a servant of all. Why? So that I could win people to faith in Jesus. He goes on, verse 20, he says to the Jews,

I became a Jew in order to win Jews. There's the word again, win. To those under the law became as one under the law though not being myself under the law that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law became as one outside the law not being outside the law of God, but under the law of Christ that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak that I might win the weak. I've become all things to all people that by all means I might save some and I do it all for the sake of the gospel that I may share with them in its blessings. Some of you are like, I'm more confused than I was before. Like what is he saying here? Here's what Paul is saying. Paul is saying, I am a Jew of all Jews. Hey, some of you may be here today and you're of Jewish descent. Paul was as well. Paul was a Jew by ethnicity. Paul also had in-depth training in the religion of Judaism. And if you don't know Paul's life story it is maybe arguably the most radical change that you see anybody come into place with like in the Bible where this dude hated Jesus, he was doing all in his life, all that he could to stop out the work of the gospel.

And then the dude met Jesus and got radically changed and he was no longer, when he got saved, he was no longer under the Jewish ceremonial restrictions or rules, he was free in Christ. But what he's saying is this, if I have to do cultural things to gain a hearing with the Jews, I will do that. And then he says the same thing about non-Jews who were called Gentiles or people who are not under the law of God. He's saying this, I will fit in and I will do what I can to fit in with the community, wherever I'm at, so that I can gain an audience with the Gentiles, with Jews, whoever it is before me, I will do what it takes to gain a hearing with them. Now, let me be very clear because I have seen a lot of Christians over the years use this to basically be like, well, I just do this so I can reach them. And they involve their lives in all kinds of sketchiness, all right? This was never an excuse for sin in Paul's life, okay? This was never, I'm going to be like them. Paul was like, I'm gonna just like relate so that I can share the gospel. And so I would just caution you towards using this as freedom to sin. I don't think that's how it's used here in the Bible, okay? Let me give you a statement for your journal,

contrast these two things. Selfishness is about my rights. Servanthood is about the mission. Selfishness is about my rights. Servanthood is about the mission. For Paul, this entire discussion here in 1 Corinthians 9 is about evangelism and is about reaching others who don't know Christ. And the reality was some of them looked very religious, like the Jews would in that day. Others looked very irreligious, like the Gentiles of that day. And here's what Paul could have said like, and in all reality, been doctrinally right and wrong in spirit. You see what I'm saying? It's not that he was saying something wrong, but he would have been wrong in spirit. He could have easily said, listen, look, I'm not under those Jewish laws anymore. And so you Jews just need to like forget about it and just listen to me and listen to my gospel. That's called having no tact whatsoever, okay? That's why he says, I've become all things to all people so that by all means I might win some. Write this statement down. The gospel is offensive enough. You don't have to be offensive on top of that. (congregation laughing)

Eight a.m. after that too. I didn't write that as a joke, but I guess it's funny, okay? The gospel is offensive enough. You don't have to be offensive on top of that. Let me see if you agree with me that the gospel is offensive. To a culture that doesn't know God. How does this message hit? You're not a good person. You're actually a bad wicked evil person. And you're that way from birth. And in fact, the Bible goes even beyond that. It's not just that you're bad. It's that you're dead. You're dead in your sins. And you can't do anything to get yourself out of this situation. But God's sin is on Jesus to die on the cross for you. And when you hear about his love for you and his sacrifice for you, you need to repent. Which means that you need to stop living the way that you're living. And you need to turn in faith to Jesus. And if you don't, you'll spend eternity in hell. And Jesus is the only way out of this scenario. So, mention the religion. It's not the way. Fill in the blank with the religion of the day. Jesus says, that will never get you to heaven. I am the way, the truth, the life. Everybody agree with me that's pretty offensive

to the culture today on numerous levels, all right? What I would say is this, the gospel is offensive enough. Don't be a jerk on top of that, okay? Don't live for yourself. Don't hold onto your rights. Forget yourself, as I said a moment ago. I think a great goal for every follower of Jesus in this room as you think about reaching other people with the hope of the good news, is this. That man, they fill in the blank with your name. Hey, you know, that guy Bill that I work with. You know, Susan, that's one of my teachers. Hey, Ryan, who I live in the dorm with or in the frat house with. They're the most loving person I know. And the most clear and honest person that I know. No matter what I do, they love me. And no matter what I do, they keep on being clear with me about my need for Jesus. Aldi Beth Stuckey. I read one of her books a couple years ago and I saw that she released another one and so I bought it this summer and I read it. Here's the title of it. It's called You're Not Enough and That's Okay. I love the sub title Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self Love. It's pretty funny. I started reading the book and I quickly realized that it was geared towards like young girls and women. You might have said, Nick, I think there was a sign before you got to actually reading it and it was funny as Meredith and I went to the beach this summer together and I was reading it in the airport on the way back and I kept like just putting it against my lap so that people couldn't see how hot pink it was and so honestly I thought pretty early like okay maybe this is just maybe this is not really for me and then I remembered okay I got four kids

three of them are daughters. I have one wife, it's key and then like 50% of y'all at least that I preached to on Sundays are women so it's probably good for me to know a little bit more about what y'all are dealing with and what's going on in your mind and how I can help address all that. She writes, I'm glad I finished it by the way fantastic book would say man or woman it's helpful. She writes a section called the cult of self-affirmation that's really strong. She says the cult of self-affirmation is composed of a ubiquitous network of self-help gurus, self-development experts and even Christian teachers who pervade social media, line the top charts of Amazon in the shelves of Barnes and Noble and populate many of our pulpits and even the halls of Congress. Here's the key all working to affirm the supremacy of self. You are the center of your world. You are in fact the center of the universe. Make your happiness the supreme pursuit of your life. I'd be like real honest with you. I meet with people all the time who are at the end of that pursuit and here's what they have found. It's empty every time. It's an empty path and in fact I would say it is the pathway to emptiness. She contrasts that idea of self-affirmation with the idea of self-forgetfulness in such a brilliant way. Let me give you a word on self- forgetfulness based on 1 Corinthians 9 I think this is 1 Corinthians 9-2-8. Self-forgetfulness is the pathway to personal happiness and the usefulness to God. So if you're here today and you're like Nick I want my life to count for the kingdom of God. I want my life to be a witness to other people. Like I want to get to heaven one day and hear God say well done good and faithful servant. Forget yourself. That is the pathway to be happy in this life and it is the pathway to usefulness to God. Have you not seen that in your life? Like have you not seen that in your relationships? Whenever it's about your spouse you're happier. Whenever it's about your kids you're happier you're happier than what's all that you or whenever it's about your other your other people in the workplace or other people in friendships. Whenever you make it about them you're happier. It's like it's like the Bible's true right? Isn't that wild? So anybody you need to forget yourself today. Anybody need to give up

your rights? Think about this like in a career setting some of you are not in college some of you like are out in the workforce and anybody ever get frustrated in your job and think to yourself well man hey why is nobody asking my opinion? Why did I get overlooked? Why did she get the promotion? He got the promotion. I should have gotten that. Do they not notice what I'm doing? You realize where a lot of that comes from? Just consume with myself. Self-forgetfulness says this I know God sees what I'm doing that's enough. I wonder how many of you need to walk away from church like that's your number one thing. I know God sees what I'm doing that's enough for me today. She writes this other powerful quote what I've learned over the years is this the seasons defined by self-centeredness have been my most miserable and the times in my life when I have felt peace and fulfillment have been the moments when I've removed myself from the center reoriented myself around God and His truth and remember that. I mean, that's how great is that? Have you not seen that in your life when you have been the center miserable? When you have reoriented your life around God, peace and fulfillment. Some of you are in that shift right now. You're even like teetering on, "Man, is this is this real? Like, should I give my life to Jesus?" And the very thing that you are worried about, which is like forgiving yourself and surrendering yourself and surrendering control, is the very thing that is making you the most miserable in your life. God says, "Surrender to me and I will show you the pathway to life." He goes on, this is how he closes the passage, verse 24. He says, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. Underline this, they do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable." Verse 26, "So I do not run aimlessly, I do not box as when beating the air, but I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." What is Paul's talking about? Paul's using a sports illustration. Anybody's sports person? Okay. I was asked this morning, I've already been talking sports movies like before church. Somebody asked me, "What's my favorite sports movie?" I said, "I think it may be Rocky 4." If you've never seen it, you're welcome. Okay, go home today. Paul's using a sports illustration here because just like we have races and competitions in our day,

they also had it in the ancient world and he says, "You ever seen like a picture of the person who would win the race or win the Olympics way back in the day hundreds of years ago?" And they would have a wreath, like a plant put together on their head to show that they are a winner of the match or the race or whatever the competition was. He says, "In a race, people receive a temporary wreath, but we as Christians, we are running a different kind of race. We are running for one that is imperishable." Here's another statement for you as we wrap up. Selfishness focuses on the momentary. Servanthood focuses on the eternal. Selfishness is all about the momentary, all about the now. Servanthood focuses on the eternal. In both first Corinthians and second Corinthians, Paul tells us that there is a day that you will stand before God. I don't know if you believe that or not. The Bible tells us that one day you will stand before God and you will give an account of your life to God. And part of that account will be, "Have I lived for the eternal or have I lived for the temporary?" There's the ultimate judgment. What have you done with Jesus? If you've repented of sin, received Him into your life, you go to heaven. If you have rejected Jesus, you go to hell. Then there's a judgment for believers. Have you lived your life for things that matter or things that do not matter? The Bible says that in that day, the world will be burned up and only the things that were done were for the Lord. Things that were done with eternity in mind are the things that will last. Look at the screen. First Corinthians chapter three, like six chapters earlier. He says, "Each one's work will become manifest for the day will disclose it because it will be revealed by fire. And the fire will test what sort of work each has been done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a what's the word, a reward." So let me ask you this. What will last in your life? What kind of wreath are you working for? One that will last or one that is burned up? Many of you have spent your life in temporary, momentary pursuits. You are in the career you've always wanted, making more money than you ever thought you could. You're in college getting the degree you've always set your heart upon. And you're spending your life, you're spending your time, you're spending your money on frivolous things. It's a temporary wreath. You're just walking around with a temporary wreath like, Hey, everybody, look at this. He says, "But God is calling you out of that kind of life and into a life that is fixated on the eternal."

Where you see your career, not just as a way to provide for your family, but as people that God has surrounded you with to reach with the hope of the gospel. You begin to see the frat house or the sorority house or the dorm or the apartment complex that you live in. That's not just a place to have fun and meet friends, but as the place that God has placed you as a missionary to reach other people with the hope of the good news of the gospel. You begin to see your family, your children. It's not just people you gotta feed, people you gotta provide for, but people that you need to give the gospel to. You need to begin working for an imperishable wreath. Many of you spend your life and your money on things that don't matter. God is calling you up, and God is calling you out of that and calling you into a life of eternal significance. This is why Paul says, "I don't just run aimlessly in my life, I don't just kind of wake 'em and be like, "No, no, no, no, what sounds good to do today?" But he says, "I discipline my body. I discipline my life." Let me ask you a question. This is probably a revealing question. Like I'm intimidated to ask it my own family. How about you? Like, if I ask the people closest to you, family-wise, work-wise, school-wise,

he or she a servant, or are they all about themselves? How would they respond? If you were standing before God right now, and again, you will one day, would he say that you've been selfish in your life or that you really have used it to serve others and to reach others? And you lived a life that is focused on your rights or focused on a life that has been at all costs on reaching people with the hope of Jesus. I want us just to bow ahead and close our eyes as we wrap up this service today. And I'm gonna just kind of lead you into your own response to the Lord. Our staff is gonna make their way to the front of each aisle today. And he said, "Why do they come forward? They're here to pray for you. They're here to talk with you. If you have any questions about the message day, they're here to answer questions, and here to help you make decisions." Well, let me just see if the shoe fits on any of these, I wanna encourage you to wear it today. Today, some of you need to make a personal shift with the Lord. Some of you need to make a family shift away from the things of this world and towards the things of God. I'm gonna ask you to come and just commit to do that

before the Lord. This altar's up and you can just come and just kneel on your knees here and say, "Lord, I just wanna commit to that." How cool would it be if some moms and dads grabbed their kids today and you came to the altar and you just prayed a family prayer. Lord, we want our family to matter for eternity. We wanna be involved in the right things. Lord, would you put people in front of us that need the hope of the gospel? Man, what could God do? Others, if you're honest with yourself, your life is out of order. I've been fixated on the present, on the momentary instead of the eternal. You know, you need to get right with God. I'm just gonna encourage you to come. Just get on your knees today. Some of you are burdened for somebody in your life that doesn't know Jesus. The whole time I've been talking his face is in your mind or her face is in your mind. Maybe it's a spouse, maybe it's a friend, maybe something to work with, maybe it's your own child. And you're just desperate that God would save him. I'm just gonna ask you to just kind of lay their name before the Lord. Others, if you're honest with your son, you're saying that God really not lived a life that cared about lost people, that needed Jesus.

And I just want God to give me back that heart again. Maybe you had it at one point. How many need to come to this altar of the Lord? Would you just renew my love for people? Some of you have never met Jesus. I've no doubt about that. Some of you have never met Christ today. And you've lived your entire life for yourself. And it's the path to nowhere. It's the path to emptiness. (gentle music) He loved you in such a manner that he sent his only son Jesus Christ To die to forgive you of your sin to free you from a life that is hell bent on your own selfishness The Bible says that if you will turn away from the way that you're living and you'll turn in faith to him. He'll save you You said, I'm gonna make you have no idea what I've done. You have no idea my past. I really don't and What I would just say is I know what he did in his past he got on the cross and he died for you So today if that shooting you need to give your life to Christ I'm gonna invite you to just come to one of these men or women who are closest to you All you got to say is this I need to give my life to Jesus today. He said you want me to do that in front of all these people Man, I don't know If you can't do that in here, I don't know how you're ever gonna do it out there and stand for God You're in a room full of people who will rejoice with you who will support you And so if that's you today today is that call, all right? I'm even gonna do this a little bit different. I see Eli you're here at the back Beasley stay right there Okay, you don't mind We put two people right by the stairs if you're in the kind of the balcony section make it easier for you Elies right here on crutches Beasley's at this other place and if you need Christ you need to pray with somebody they're here for you as well Okay, Lord, we we thank you for what you mean to us We thank you that you have called us out of a life bent on ourself and you've called us to faith in you

To follow you with our lives, so Lord would you give us clear next steps in our own heart today about what that means? And it's in the name of Jesus that we pray amen