Stop Trying to Earn God’s Love | Romans 5 | Crossroads Daily

It's funny, I don't think of a word, or words when I think about peace with God, I think of a sound. Ooh, tell us more. Ah. Yeah. It's that, like, it's that thing, and it's kind of what you said, it's union. That I live in a constant union with God that I didn't earn, but can never lose. Yeah. I mean, maybe I'm not the only person. I feel in some ways, it takes a little bit of difficulty and suffering for me to, that's probably where I experience it the most. Like, I wish I could say, like, it's when things are going great. Like, you know, there's times when things are going great, and I feel union with God, but man, I think I've learned, like, there's something about hardship and difficulty that I experience union with God. This is the Crossroads Daily. No experts, no perfect people, just honest conversations about what happens when the Bible shows up in real life. I'm Chuck. I'm Caroline. I'm Peter. I'm Chris. Romans 5. Man, we are working our way through,

Romans is dense, by the way. If you're reading every day, and you're like, dang, there's a lot, yes, there's a lot here. This chapter has a lot of things. If you've been around Crossroads, and you did the run journey, you're like, oh, I remember those words, suffering produces character, character, yeah, I remember those words. There's a lot here. I just want to start with, again, there's such good news. You know, he says we have people, but again, there's such good news. You know, he says we have peace with God. I think it's interesting that he doesn't say, in this place, he doesn't say we have peace in God. He doesn't say we have peace because of God. It's a relational peace, right? Peace with God. What does that mean to you, to know that through Jesus, you have peace with God? I think for me, it's that like, it's not up to me. Like, okay, he died once, but now, or I got saved once, and now I gotta, now it's my turn, like, I carry it the rest of the way. Like, it is, it's freeing to know that his grace and truth is not contingent upon my belief of his grace and truth. And so often, peace with God, for me, looks like, okay, have I not messed up that much lately? And have I been pretty good lately?

Okay, then I have peace with God. And what I feel like I've tried to grow into over the last few years is understanding, like, it does, I could be at the bottom of the pit, or like, on the mountaintop. I'm good with God because he said I was, not because I'm in a good season right now, or I've cut back on this thing, or I've been reading more. It's like, because that is, it's so flaky and temporary. And then the second you mess up with anything, then you don't have peace anymore. But like, if it's contingent upon what God says about me, then it's like, then I'm chilling. Yeah, I love that. I think the word that keeps running through my head is safety. It means I can always come to God, and that it's a safe place. And in the midst of so much of my life, I feel like so often, I feel like I'm at war. Even if that war is with myself. Either I'm at war with myself, I'm at war with my desires, my sin, I'm at war with circumstances, I'm at war with other people. And not only can I go to him to experience peace, to be at peace, to be safe, but then that gives me peace to then bring to those other contexts, other places.

And so when I'm at my best, I'm continually going back and recentering with that and experiencing that peace. Because my peace fades so quickly. It's almost like, maybe there's a moment, but then enough things happen throughout my day and I'm no longer at peace. But knowing that I can go back, that God is not gonna meet me, and it's not another battle. It's not another argument. It's not another whatever, right? It's, oh, you're my child, you're my son. It's good, man. Sit at my table. That's good. Yeah. I think for me, it is operating in the belief that God actually loves me. Like, and that seems so small, but if I'm thinking about being at peace with God, it's remembering I am loved by God and therefore he is with me and working on the same team as me in many things. Like, I'm not striving so that he thinks I'm good. It's believing that we're good and he wants to do something with me. He wants to do my day with me. He wants to parent my children with me. He wants to do my job with me.

It's not something that I'm doing to reach him, but actually just this belief that I'm loved and he's with me. And that's what being at peace with God feels like to me. I love it. I love it. It's funny, I don't think of a word or words when I think about peace with God. I think of a sound. Ooh, tell us more. Yeah. Yeah. It's that, like, it's that thing. And it's kind of what you said, it's union. That I live in a constant union with God that I didn't earn, but can never. lose. And that doesn't mean I'm aware of that union all the time, but when I am, that's that peace with God. That's its sweet spot, when it's like, I'm aware. And that can happen. It's funny. I mean, maybe I'm not the only person. I feel in some ways, it takes a little bit of difficulty and suffering for me to... That's probably where I experience it the most. I wish I could say, it's when things are going great. There's times when things are going great, and I feel union with God. But man, I think I've learned there's something about hardship and difficulty that I experience union with God. So true. Yeah. That sign made me think too about just being yourself with God. It's like, whatever things, masks I was wearing, things I was doing, like, oh yeah, I can just drop all that at the door. He just wants me. He just wants you as you are, right? Wow. Yeah. So that's the ideal. And when we can experience that, it's wonderful. And we also struggle to believe that, right? It's a struggle sometimes to believe that God's grace is for you. So I wonder if you think of a time when it was hard for you to receive God's grace, and actually, what did that produce in you that was good on the other side of that wrestle? Because we've all wrestled with that. Any particular examples come to mind?

I think I'm combing through my brain right now with that question. Like, when are times that I really struggled, or I had this sin struggle that I overcame? But I think one of the times that it was most profound for me was actually when I was walking through grief, and I was grieving the loss of someone very close to our family who was young. It was tragic. And I was so hands up to God's grace. I was bitter. I was devastated. Was confused about why he would let something like that happen. And so I wasn't in a place of receiving his grace. And then on the other side of that, there's also this part of me that's like guilty, right? That I got to still be here. And I think that's something in a grief journey that a lot of people don't always talk about, but you're like, why do I get to be here and this person doesn't? And I finally was able... And I wish I could tell you, there was a moment where I just felt it and was able to accept it. But somehow I got to a place, and grief makes things hazy sometimes I feel like, but I got to a place where I was actually able to be like, God, you're so good. And you've still got me. And actually you've got her too. And all of these things that I was just feeling were so out of control when I was able to finally surrender and feel that actually that pain and that suffering drew me nearer to God instead of pushing him away. But that wasn't easy. Receiving God's grace, whether it's sin or grief or wherever it is that you need it in a moment, sounds nice on paper, but I think oftentimes can be a really a challenging thing to actually receive. Because he's always giving it, but we have to be open to it, right? We have free will. We can say no. So to say, no, God, I need it. Thank you. Yeah, that's when I finally hit that like, but grief is the one that comes to mind for me. Thanks for sharing that though. I think grief is one of those things that I don't think we contextualize enough, even though we all experience it. I think the way you talked about that in terms of your relationship with God and the wrestle is really, really healthy and helpful. Didn't feel, it didn't feel healthy. No, no, never does it in time. Well, I love what you said. It feels hazy, right? It's like you're in a fog. And then at some point, I don't know if you ever come fully out of the fog of grief, but you certainly, you get, the clouds clear a little bit and you're like, oh, I got a little bit of perspective and I can walk, keep walking. So thanks for sharing that. That's a really powerful example. Yeah. I feel like I wrestle where I believe that this is a lifelong process of being made to look

more like Jesus and that he's carrying me on to the day of completion. Like it says in Philippians and I really do often, I'm like, it is a, I should arrive with all these areas in my life and be here because in the second I mess up, I'm like, I'm, I just will spiral. And literally the other day, like there was my wife and I, there was a miscommunication with our schedule and I was really short with her and then left and I was with a buddy. And then like right when there, I'm just like, ah, I was a jerk. And I was an idiot there. And like, in the past I've seen, I would spiral that probably make me be more mean when I got home. But then I was just able to be like, this is a process, you know, got to come home and look her in the eye and like own where I had wronged her. And like, and then you move on and you're like, oh, okay. It's yeah. Life goes on. Like while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. I love that Paul adds that in like, yeah. Cause he's like, you're still sinners. And then you were, so like God died when it's happening, not before it happens or anything like that. Well, when you were just talking about, you know, hearing your wife say, I forgive you too, like I think again, it goes back to that confession and repentance process, like you get to know God so much better through community of believers when you get to experience someone looking you in the eyes and saying, I forgive you and I love you still. Like that is God's grace working through us too, which is a really beautiful thing. And I know that every time I take a step like that, I'm like, oh, I understand God better, you know? 100%, yeah. I mean, that's really, in a way, I mean, my story that came to mind was a situation where I didn't have that community yet. It was my first years of college when I, right before I left for college,

I just really decided to pursue God personally, relationally, like that had happened. But then I get to college and I have no community, they're completely uprooted, like took me a long time to find, you know, I eventually found Crossroads had a site at my campus eventually, at that time. And I found a Crossroads, but that took until like junior year, you know, I'm trying to find community, I'm trying to find belonging, I'm trying to, and I found some friends, but none of them were believers, none of them were reflecting God back to me, none of them were loving me in that way. And so it was a lot of just, there was a haze of, you know, some partying, some other thing, you know, there was a lot of things going on where I was like trying to fill voids or trying to like cope with a sense of disconnection, you know, and so, yeah, finding those people. Yeah, can I ask you a question? Yeah. When did you land in community? Like, and it may not be a moment, but like when did you, like going back to where we started with the peace with God, like what comes to mind as an experience that was like, man, I have found people. Yeah, yeah, the first,

there's been a few different moments, but honestly, it was really, it's a small group I'm in now that I joined like three something years ago when it's like really family-like and like people showing up for me in crazy ways and I get to show up for them in crazy, and they really know me. Like, so that was when I really got it. I start, in college, people are very transient. It's hard to really build that in college. I had some levels of that at Crossroads there, but I think it was when I was graduated and there was a guy who invited me and he pursued me, and I said no a few times. I was like, ah, I don't know, you know what I'm saying? Yep. I don't, I don't wanna be known, actually, but he was like, yeah, I'm good. Yeah, yeah. And then, but he kept pursuing me, and that led to so much provision, so much friendship, so much connection, and then, yeah. For whatever reasons, you were sharing, thank you for sharing, for whatever reasons, as you were sharing that, the person that was coming to mind to me is the person who's listening that like,

they're like, I want that. Yeah. And I don't have that. Yeah. And so, I think as a way to maybe close the day, would you pray for that person? Obviously, we don't know all the names, but if that's you, we wanna pray for you, because I believe that there is something that God wants to invite you into and offer to you, and it might feel like it's hard to find right now, but we just wanna pray that you would experience this grace and this peace with God, with God and with community, so would you just pray for them? Lord, I just wanna lift up whoever is listening right now, who needs connection, who needs relationship, Lord, first, I just ask that you embrace them today, even as they're listening, Lord, that they would feel your presence in an amazing and unexpected and new way, that they would know that you are with them, that you're sitting right beside them, Lord, that you see them, that you are the God who sees, where we've talked about Abraham a lot, his slave, Hagar, is the one who got to experience that name of yours in that story, Lord. She looks up, she's alone in the desert, and God comes and meets her, provides for her,

and then she looks and says, you are the God who sees me, Lord, I just ask first that people feel seen by you, that they feel known by you, and then that you would open doors for them to find others who know you, God, that they can talk with, that they can be known by, that we're not built, we're not designed to live life alone, Lord, and I ask that you bridge those gaps, Lord, even if it seems impossible, Lord, you can do the impossible. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.