Old Man/New Man Podcast - Rosita Almazan & Stephen Canup

It's time to put off the old man, which is corrupt, and to put on the new man, which is created in righteousness and true holiness. It's the Old Man, New Man podcast with host Stephen Canup. Hey, thanks for tuning in to the Old Man, New Man podcast. I'm Stephen Canup. I'm here with my friend Rosita Amazon. Yes. I said that almost correct, didn't I? Very close. Amen. Rosita and I are just glad to have you here today. We're going to have a conversation, but this is the Old Man, New Man podcast. The Bible says, if any man be in Christ, he's a new creation. Old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. So that's a picture of me right before I went to prison. That's the old man, and this is the new man. And if any man be in Christ, the old things have passed away. I'm glad that my old man is dead and gone. Amen. Yes, amen. And that we are new creations in Christ Jesus. So that's the point of the Old Man, New Man podcast. I'm glad to have Rosita here. And Rosita, I just want to start out. I tell you what, let's just set the stage for where we're headed. You've been to prison a couple of times. Tell us, how many times have you been to prison? My last release would have marked my fifth incarceration to prison in TDZJ. Your last release was how long ago? I was released in September of 23. All right. So you're out, and we know that God's been doing some amazing things since you've been out, and we're going to get to that. But let's just start at the beginning. What was your... Just tell us, we want to hear your testimony, but let's just start. What was your home life like? And growing up, what was going on? I grew up in a little town like 32 miles west of Lubbock, Leveland, Texas. Leveland, Texas. And that's where I live now. Yes. And I had amazing parents that were very hardworking parents. My dad was an immigrant from Mexico. So they instilled amazing work ethic into their daughters. I have three sisters. Three sisters. So four in total? Yes, four of us total. Four girls. And just school was super simple for me. Didn't really have any issues in school. And I think that was just kind of one of the issues that got me in trouble because I was too smart for my own pants. And very curious and wanted to know all the questions and ask 50 questions. But at a very young age, there was also because my parents worked so much, my mom... We spent a lot of time after school at my grandma's house.

In that house, there was a lot of addiction, a lot of just things that a young child shouldn't experience. And somewhere in that time at a young age, my innocence was robbed of me. My uncle sexually molested me. And so at a very young age, I didn't know. But I mean, we're defenseless. We don't really know what to do with those emotions. But fear had been instilled in me from a very, very young age. And it took a lot of years for me to finally come to and say anything to my mom about it. But just internalizing that trauma and internalizing the emotions and not really sure how to process that or go about it. Sure. You were pretty young. How old were you? This happened, I want to say, from when I can remember when we were at my grandma's house. I was probably six, seven. And then just progressed along the years. You just don't know what to do. Yeah. And, you know, I know there are people watching that men and women that have similar experiences. So how did that go from there? How did life progress? Just growing up, like a lot of those emotions turned into fear, turned into anger. What kind of fear? Um, I guess of my uncle. I was very, very, yes. And it just caused, um, um, just a lot of issues with the way that my thoughts would be processed as well. Yeah. So anger and fear. Yeah. And a lot of that turned towards, um, that anger turned towards my mom. Oh. So. You felt like maybe she didn't protect you. Yes. Yeah. And along with that came, um, a spirit of rejection. And I did finally muster up the courage to tell her, um, I was already full blown in my addiction. Um, my grandma was actually a bootlegger in Loveland and, um, it was addiction runs in our family.

Uh, so you were, had already been drinking. Yes. I was, I started drinking at a very young age. Um, my parents were also alcoholics. So there was always liquor and alcohol available. And even on the weekends when, or when my dad would come home from work, it was like my mom would cook you dinner. My dad would come home and grab a beer. And I remember that was a big, the big old cans of Coors Light that had like that round top on it. And he would give us drinks of beer from it. And he'd be like, esta bien mija, esta bien ten. Like it's okay. It's okay. It's just, uh, I guess Mexican tradition or heritage. I don't know. But, um, so it wasn't a, it wasn't a big deal in our home. It was kind of like it was always readily available. And so you were talking about you, you felt rejection from your mom when, did you say you finally told her about your uncle? I did. I did finally tell her after I had my, um, I got pregnant at 15, um, and after I had my son, um, I had him at 16. And when I did tell her, um, it was because when I had my son, these very uneasy feelings and thoughts, um, started to just invade my mind and my, and my heart. And I was like, why am I feeling this way? And I had just shoved it down and already been self-medicating that I didn't really realize it, the, all these emotions and memories, uh, resurfaced. So, um, when I did tell her, um, she did not believe me. Um, and so it just, it fueled such rage and so much anger that, um, I, I, I just dove

deeper into my addiction. Yeah. And it was hard for me to understand how, um, my own mother wouldn't believe her daughter. And it really, it, that, that also, I believe was a huge, um, root of resentment and unforgiveness that I carried with me for many, many years in my addiction. I was in my addiction for 23 years. So was it always alcohol or did you get into drugs? No. I started it with alcohol and the very first person I ever drank with or got stoned with was my grandma. Oh, really? Wow. So it was kind of like me and my grandma were more like friends because I was like her designated driver and would drive her and her friends around and, um, it was, it, that was what it, what I thought in my mind was normal, but I was so young, I didn't know any, didn't know any better. Yeah. And when my mom would come to pick us up, she'd be like, you better not tell her, you better not tell her that, that we're drinking. And I was like, okay. And it was just, it's weird for me now to think about it and be like, she never even knew or asked questions or anything. Yeah. Well, she was so, I mean, she would work, she worked hard and they would come home and then have to clock into her second job and take care of the household and take care of the kids. And, um, but she always, my mom was very, um, very controlling and very harsh on us. She was, cause she wanted us to have everything that she didn't have. My mom. She probably, I'm sure she had good intentions.

Oh yes. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. And so my mom never finished school. And even though you felt rejected, I mean, sometimes parents have a hard time expressing love sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. It took a long time for me to see, like for me to, to shift my perspective and see it from God's perspective instead of my own perspective, because, um, I don't know what kind of childhood she experienced. That's right. I don't know what kind of trauma she went through and I'm sure it caused a lot of pain and insecurities in her own self. And she was only doing what she knew. Yeah. And even though it was different than what her mom taught her, but in her mind she thought that that was the best way to do it, you know. So she did a great job. I mean, my other sisters are well and they're thriving. How did you end up going to prison? So, of course, my drug use just fueled my first charge was for felony forgery. I started forging checks and stealing money out of my grandma's account because I was always with her. And it was easy because she was like, well, let's go to the bank. And so in that selfishness, in that addiction, you don't care about anyone or anything. It wasn't to say that I didn't love my grandma. It was just I was looking at whatever opportunity I could just to get my neck fixed. And so I was on probation for that for a while and obviously couldn't even give them a clean urine test. So they gave you probation. Yes, they gave me. Let's try this first. It was your first offense kind of thing. Yeah. Okay.

So you didn't make it on probation? No, not very long at all. They violated you? Yes. Some of us have been going through that too. Yeah. It was my very first charge. They sentenced me to 18 months state jail. That's when Dawson State Jail was still up, right? In downtown Dallas. In Dallas, Texas. It was right across the street from Lutheran. Yeah. And it was. And state jail, for those of you that are in another state, in Texas, that means you've got a sentence of two years or less. Is that right? And it's day for day. And it is day for day. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So it is prison. They just call it state jail. It is a state prison. Yeah. But they call it state jail because it's two years or less of a sentence. Yeah. Day for day. Okay. And so that was my very first trip to prison.

And then. Excuse me. After that, I didn't. My mom helped raise my son whenever. I just could never get it right after that first trip. It was just. But I did learn about the Lord while I was in prison. You did? Yeah. I always seem to. So growing up, did you have much exposure to the church or to Jesus? Yes. I was raised in the Catholic church. Went to mass all the time. Went through catechism. Did all the sacraments. So you were raised in religion, so to speak. Yes. I was raised in religion. I knew of God. And I knew that there was this guy named Jesus. But I didn't really. Didn't really know him. Yeah. I didn't. I never really had. You didn't have a relationship? A relationship. And that is what it boils down to. Yeah.

Christianity is not about religion. Yes. Right? It's about relationship. Yes. And it was just in those times of incarceration and going to prison that the pieces started to slowly come together. Really? And really understanding and knowing about the person of the Holy Spirit and how that all. I could know God with all my heart and I could know Jesus without truly understanding the importance of the Holy Spirit. It never clicked. And now I can see that was a piece that was missing this whole time. Yeah. I'd get out and I'd do so good for a couple of months and then I'd fall right back into it. Right back into it. You probably had a good intention of trying to do right. Yes. And then fall away. Yeah. So when we give our heart to Jesus, the Spirit of the Father, the Spirit of the Son, the Holy Spirit comes to live in us. And it is only because of what Jesus did on the cross that we're able to have a relationship with the Father again. Yes. But that relationship with the Father is only available in and through the Holy Spirit in us. Yeah.

And the Holy Spirit wants to help us get to know God and he wants to sanctify us and everything. So, yeah. So the Holy Spirit, getting to know the Holy Spirit is so crucial. And my favorite one. The favorite book that I've written so far is that little gold book, Knowing the One Who Leads You, 100 Days of Holy Spirit Fellowship. So you and I could talk about the Holy Spirit a long time probably. So you began little by little. So you were in and out several times. You said you went five times all together? Five times all together. But each time you were learning a little bit more, was your heart getting a little softer towards the Lord or seeking a little bit more, or what was happening? While I was in prison, yes. It's kind of like that Bible verse talks about how when you sweep your house, and if you don't fill it with the things of the Word, and you don't fill it with the Word. You can clean the house, but if you leave it empty. But if you leave it empty, there's seven more and more fears that come back to invade you. And I experienced that every time that I got out. Every time that I would go back to my addiction, I was continuously chasing that first feeling of euphoria or that false sense of awakeness or power or control. And it just got worse and worse every time. I never could, and the stakes got higher and higher. The addiction had on you. Yeah. It was bad until the last time that I got incarcerated, that I got arrested. I had my son when I was 16, and then 10 years later, I had another daughter. Her name is Cadence. And then prior to my last incarceration, I had just had a baby girl, but I was using the whole time while I was pregnant with my daughter.

And it was just something, the state that I was in before incarceration was such a dark place. I didn't know who I was. I mean, I literally remember the day before I got incarcerated and looking in the mirror and I was so numb and I couldn't feel nothing. I didn't care. And I couldn't even recognize myself anymore. Wow. Was this the day before you got incarcerated the last time? Okay. Yes. So talk about that a little bit. My daughter was two weeks old, and whenever I had her in the hospital, she tested positive for methamphetamines and so did I. So immediately, my mom came in, CPS was involved, and my mom took her home. And I never- Was your mom raising your first child, your boy, and the other girl? Yes. So all three of the children, your mom ended up raising? Yes. Okay. Yeah. So, but they took that child home from the hospital? Immediately. Immediately. Yes. Yeah. And so I really thought that I was losing my mind. I'll never forget coming home from the hospital to an empty house and just, it was just the worst.

I would not wish that on anyone to feel that. I literally, I could feel- And I'm sure you felt bad for having a baby that was already addicted to heroin. Absolutely. I mean, you must have felt really horrible about it. Yeah. I felt awful. I felt awful. And I just, I remember being angry. And a lot of times- Angry at yourself, mainly? Angry at myself. And then just pivoting that onto God. Oh, now you're angry at God? Yeah. Oh, we're talking about why- I was angry at God. How did you, why were you angry with God? Well, I guess because I couldn't see him and he's the easiest scapegoat. It's easier to blame someone or something that you can't see or that you're not going to get any rebuttal from or is not going to talk back to you. Maybe not in that moment, but eventually. And I don't, it was just, it was an easy, selfish victim mentality that I was in. And I was, and I just, I literally remember yelling out to him and telling him, if this is what you have me here for, I don't want to live anymore. So do me a favor, do us both a favor." And he intervened. How'd he intervene? That very next day, the officers came to my house and took me to jail. I had just came back from a trip, doing what I wasn't supposed to be doing. And they arrested me and then later came back for a search warrant for the house

and found a large amount of drugs in the house. So you didn't know how God was going to intervene? Yeah. I think inwardly, deep down, I know that I didn't want to die. And I think in that desperation, I just needed him to save me and my heart turned to him. Amen. Even in anger, I don't think he's not taken by surprise whenever we're mad at him. He's probably standing there and he's like, it's okay, baby girl. He can handle it. He can handle it. But I think that he longs for that. For us to come to the end of ourselves, to come to him in a place of brokenness. And you were broken. Oh, yes. So I would suggest to you that when we cry out to him from a heart that is sincere, that's what he's waiting for. Yes. Yes. And so... So what happened? I got arrested and I remember sitting on that cold concrete floor at Hockley County Jail and him just speaking to me so clearly and him saying, you're going to serve me. Oh. He said, you're going to serve me. The only decision, the only option I'm going to give you is where you're going to do that. You can serve me inside of the walls or you can serve me outside of the walls. That's the only choice I'm going to give you. And so I decided that very moment right then and there that that was it. I was done. And I'm like, OK. And so I served him inside of the walls and outside of the walls. And now we're serving him inside of the walls again. Because you're going back into prison with Freedom in Jesus prison ministry. Yes. That's right. But I remember in those times, like so many times when I was incarcerated and and I've had like people even prophesy over me that that they knew that that I was that I would

be taking the gospel to the nations. And yeah. So people saw that in you and you, you know, I tell people all the time, if you can run from it, you can't hide. Yes. God is going to get you at some point. Yes. It's better. It's better to come on your own terms. Yes. It's better to surrender. And I always thought, yeah, well. Let me ask you in the Hockley County Jail. So our friend, Pastor Jill and Danny Brown, they go to the Hockley County Jail on a regular basis. Did you meet Jill there? Is that where you met Jill? Oh, yes. Was she one of those that talk about that? Yes. So from the very first time I ever went to the county jail, Ms. Jill would come in and she'd sit with us in the tanks with the girls and we would talk about the Bible and she would say, before I could even finish the verse, you're already finishing it. And I remember her asking me, where did you learn that at? Where did you learn that? Oh, you were participating. Yes. And she was asking me, where did you learn that at? How did you know all this word? And I was like, oh, I went to St. Michael's, a Catholic church. She's like, no, you didn't learn that at no Catholic church. And I said, well... They're not real big on, well, I'm not going to go there. She said, well, she's like, and I told her, well, I've been to prison a couple of times. She's like, that's where.

And she, Ms. Jill is like my spiritual mom. Is she? Yeah. She called greatness out of me when I couldn't see it myself. And she never gave up on me. And she was that loving, nurturing mother that I always longed for. And that even though, you know, for so long, I wanted that for my earthly mom. Right, right, right. But the Lord is so beautiful and so precise on how... Amen. He's like, I've adopted you into this family. Right. So you have adoptive parents. What I have for you is going to blow your mind. Right. And now just because you don't get it from your earthly mom. Yeah. Not. yet doesn't mean I'm not gonna bring you so many other women and so many other men who are gonna love you unconditionally and who I've allowed to cross your path to call greatness in you. And every time I would get in trouble, that Ms. Jill would be the first one I would think about. I was like, oh my gosh, Ms. Jill's gonna be so upset because here I was again, back in the county jail. But she would always say, come to church. When you get out, call me. And it was always a personal invitation. Like, here's my phone number, call me.

If you need anything, I'll come pick you up. And I would say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll come, I'll come. But did you? Not until the very last time. Not until the very last time. But she would always say, well, we'll just try again every time she'd see me in the county. But I'm super grateful for her and Danny and I know a lot of them women in there look forward to them coming on a weekly basis and just reminding them of their value and their worth and their identity. It's so important. But now, so you went that last time, you went with a different heart and committed to the Lord. And how long did you do on that last? Two and a half years. Two and a half years. And during that time, did you really get into the word? Were you all in? What was that like when you went with a different heart that last two and a half years that you were in? How would you summarize it? Were you all in the word? Were you a leader? Did you lead Bible studies? You go to church? What was that like? Yeah, it was, I was in the, I always went into the faith-based dorms.

I was always blessed to be able to get into those dorms and just be fed continuously. But my heart posture shifted from me and worrying about what was going outside of my control, what was happening back in the world, and just being submersed on what, just being a servant to others, especially to the women around me. Because there was a joy, a peace, and a comfort that came that was completely different from the other times. Amen, amen, that's good. Just to know that I was gonna be okay. I didn't know what that was gonna look like. I had plans in my own mind and upon release, but I had no idea that God had something completely different than what I had in mind. So tell us about that. So you got out, I guess. Yes, so I got out, and then I said 23, I think it was 22. It was in 22 when I got out in September. I went back home to the father of the baby, and I immediately knew that if I didn't get out of that situation, I was gonna end up right back in prison or just dead in the streets. Yes, it was just not good. You can't go back to the same people, places, and things. Yeah. So what happened?

So Ms. Jill had been telling me. Did you call Ms. Jill this time? Yes, I did call Ms. Jill. I did go to church. But Ms. Jill had been telling the girls about this place in Lubbock that they were building. At that time, they were just building it and about to accept the first round of girls called the New Legacy Home for Women. And it's a 15-month discipleship program for women, and Ms. Jill was like. You live on site. Yes, you live on site, and it's a home, but you have to make that commitment to stay there. And there's rules, and there's schedules, and all the things. And Ms. Jill would always tell me, Rose, I think you should go there, even before I had previously gotten incarcerated. And just my pride was like, no, no, no, I don't need that. I have a house, I have just all these things. In my mind, I was thinking materialistic ways, and I was like, I'm not gonna leave what was comfortable, what I knew, what was familiar to me before something completely unknown. But the last time, right before I got released, they sent me back to Woodman State Jail to finish out the rest of my sentence, because I was on a state jail charge and a TDCJ charge. So I had paroled out, but then they sent me to Woodman

to finish my state jail sentence. I think I was there like two months. And I met a girl, her name was Ruby, and Ms. Jill would always tell us about this girl named Ruby. And she's like, I told you about Ruby, right? Oh, wait. When you were in Hawkeye County, so she, Ruby, she'd already been mentoring Ruby, and Ruby had already gone to TDCJ. Yes, and Ruby had already gone through the New Legacy Program. Oh, she had. Yes, and so Ms. Jill would come and tell us about this girl named Ruby that was doing so good. She was at the New Legacy, and she was loving it, and for some reason, I felt like I knew who she was. I never met this girl in person. I always heard. But you heard so much about her, you felt like you knew her. Yes, and so. She happened to be at Woodman. Out of all the thousands of girls, I sit at the same table during COVID right across this girl, and we start talking, and she's like, I was asking her where she was from, and she's like, I'm from Lubbock, and I'm like, hey, I'm from Neverland, and she's like, yeah. She said something about Ms. Jill, and I said, hold up. I said, you know Ms. Jill, and she said, yeah. I said, what's your name? She said, Ruby, and I said, I'm Rosita, and we both just started crying, and I was like, oh my gosh, I cannot believe this, and at that time, we could only sit two at a table because it was social distancing. We had to wear our mask. We could never really see anybody's face, but it was the most amazing God moment, and immediately, I was like, hold up. I thought you were doing good. Yeah, what are you doing here? What happened? That was going to be my next question. Yeah, and so she just immediately started sharing with me. She's like, Rose, the new legacy was the most amazing opportunity. I learned so much. It was great. She's like, but when I got out, when she graduated from the program. So she did graduate. She graduated, and she went right back to the same people, and it wasn't a matter of time before she was in trouble again, and she was right back, and so I know that the Lord sent her through my path because she was so adamant. So did you start thinking about new legacy homes? Well, I was still adamant that I wasn't going. I was like, no, I'm not going there. Okay, yeah. I got this. Yeah, I was like, I don't need that. God, I know you have a plan for my life, but I want to do things

my way. Is it still that? Oh, I mean. I bet God's just shaking his head, and she's just like, oh, come on, come on. That's my daughter, Rose, but yeah, and she would be like, yeah, these volunteers are there, and she would name them all by name, and she's like, please, Rose, I really believe. Like, what's it going to hurt? And I was like, we'll see. We'll see, but it was like every day. We were in the same dorm. Yeah. We were even in the same dorm, and she was like, try it, Rose. Like, try it. We wrote a letter to Ms. Jill together, and we're like, guess who I met while we were here? I remember Jill called me and read this letter to me over the phone, because Jill is our correspondence ministry director. If you write to Freedom in Jesus Ministry, Danny Brown picks up the mail and I think opens the mail, but Pastor Jill is the one who actually writes most of the letters back, and we do have a few other volunteers that help write letters, but Pastor Jill's in charge of that, so she thought that was such a God thing that she called me and said, you're not going to believe this. I remember that. It was definitely. So, you did get out, and you made a decision to go back to live with the father of your child, but then you realized that was a mistake. So, what happened next? So, a couple of days in, I mentioned to him, I said, I really think I'm going to this new legacy home, this program, and he was like, why? You just got out. Like, why do you want to go back to a place of confinement? And I was like, this is something that I need to do for myself, and just really in times of prayer, and just really crying out, and I remember being on my knees, and I had this overwhelming sense of peace, and he's like, yes, that's where I want you to go. He said that or the Lord said that? The Lord said that. Yeah. The Lord said that. And so, I had already made arrangements with Ms. Jill to go to church, and that's when they were going to that little church in Whiteface, and she came and picked me up. I was living in Sundown, and we went to church. Oh, it was a lady actually that lived in Sundown that picked me up, and when I walked in, the doors of Ms. Jill, she just broke. She just weeped and weeped, and I was going to tell her after service that I was there. Well, she was glad to see you. Yes. I had finally, after all these years, it had been about- followed through with what you told her. Maybe about 12 years of in and out. I'm going to come, I'm going to come. I promise I'm going to be there. But you had decided you were going to tell her that day. Yes. In fact, I think that day she brought you by my house, and that's when I met you. Yes.

I came out to the car. Yes. I guess you were on your way to the New Legacy. Yeah, we went to the New Legacy. I don't know if it was that day. When we were in church that day, she was up on the stage playing the piano. And all of a sudden, she just stops and she walks down towards me. And I'm like, what are you doing, Miss Jill? And she's like, she was just crying. She's like, I got to tell you something. I really need to tell you something. And I was like, OK. She's like, I really believe you need to go to the New Legacy. And I said, Miss Jill, I was going to tell you that I want to go. So we were both crying. And and so it just it was such a perfect moment. So you go to the New Legacy home and I know I'm going to cut through some part of this, but. So you do you successfully complete the program. You fell in love with the program. I did. And all the people there. Yes. And then they they actually help you get it. So you're there for like three months or something. You can't work. And but then you get a job. Yes. And then you start somewhere in there. You started working for the Lubbock Dream Center. I did. Yeah. How did you get to start to work over there? Oh, my goodness. So the Dream Center is literally like a few feet away from the New Legacy. It's on the same block. And we would go out there to serve on Saturday mornings because the Lubbock Dream Center is the outreach campus for Church on the Rock. OK, so we already developed a relationship with with the staff there and with them. And then the pastors volunteer. Yes, we volunteer. And the pastors come and do devotionals in the mornings. And they needed one of the full time positions had came open. And so their front desk girl was transferred into a full time. So they needed they were going to need a part time front desk. And and I was up to work. So I was like, oh, my gosh. So I had went to help a few times. And it's also a plus to be bilingual because there's a lot of Hispanic people that go through there and only speak Spanish. So you were able to get that job? Yes. I got I got hired in February of twenty three. Yes. A couple of years ago. Yeah. And in February, I'll be there three years now. So I went from part time to full time. Now I'm the clothing closet director at the Lubbock Dream Center. Yes. And you you serve on Saturdays. Yes. I mean, you work your your schedule is really Saturday through Wednesday. Yes. And then you're off like Thursdays and Fridays. But, you know, Stephen, I there's never one day that I've gotten up and dreaded going to work. That's good. Or or been like, oh, my gosh, I don't know what's going to happen today. But every moment is an opportunity to minister to someone. I love the times when when our brothers and our sisters come up there and they're like, I really need clothes. I just got out. And so we ask them if they have an ID or they just got out of the county or they're at Dismiss or they're at Kingdom Towers. And they're like and they kind of like with their head down. And I was like, do you have an ID?

And they're like, I just have this. So it's their jail card or their prison ID. And I was like, that's OK. I have five of those. And they look at me like, what? And so it opens a door for an opportunity to minister to them. There's been women that I was in prison with that are now full time volunteers at the Dream Center that are now members of our congregation and thriving. It's so, it blows my mind. And I love those moments when when I start to reflect inwardly and and I can't look past my own problems. And I can't at the moments when I can't see how God has worked. And he's like, let me remind you, just take a step back and let me remind you of how I've been working. Even from the moment that your innocence was taken from you. Even then I was working. And even now I'm still working. Everything. And that blows my mind every time I think about it. When I ask, when I ask why God, it went to asking why, and now it's, why not? Why not me? I'm here. I'm willing. I'm surrendering. That's good. And that's the heart. Here am I, send me. Yeah. Right? Right? Yeah, that's definitely the heart posture that I want to remain in humility. And gratitude. And it's just, it's such an honor when you say yes to the Lord and you really mean it with a sincere heart. He will catapult you and bring you to places in your life that you never dreamed of. Never. Never. Who'd ever thought? Now tell, tell us a little bit, you had a, you'd left behind you a lot of broken relationships and God's been restoring that and, but you, you know, it's, that's, that's a process, right? Yes. And I know we're just needing to wind down here in a few minutes, but I said, I don't

want to rush you, but, but I do know that you have a testimony about a restoration. So talk, talk to the, talk to them about that a minute. Yeah. Well, for years I lost just the connection with my children and, but my son is, he's 29. My daughter is now 19 and the baby is six. She just turned six. And the Lord has just really restored the relationship with my kids. My kids actually came to look for me. And I knew that that was a promise from the Lord. Even while I was in prison, I, that was something that I held onto. That was a tangible piece that the Lord gave me because he told me, he did. Yeah. He told me that was the promise. What did he say? He said that your children will be restored to you. Praise God. And you didn't think that was possible? No, I didn't. There was, I didn't know how long, what that was going to look like, but, and it happened so organically. It happened so effortlessly when, when I stopped trying and manipulating the circumstance, it was like, all of a sudden they were there. Let go and let God, huh? Yeah. But with all of the, the, even the relationships that I was in, the bad relationships, the Lord, the Lord brought a God-fearing husband into my life. Amen. And you were patient. You didn't, you weren't out really looking.

No. Right. Not at all. Actually, I was in Columbia. Columbia. The country. The country. Yes. I was in, so six months prior to that, I was on the crusade in Waco. Yeah. With us. Freedom in Jesus. Yes. With Freedom in Jesus Ministries. We're at the crusade in Waco. And that's when I met a lady from Kerrville. Her name was Lisa. And I gave my testimony on a Saturday evening and I was letting the girls, just telling them how I had been prophesied that I was going to go out to the nations and take the gospel to the nations. And I was like, I'm a five-time convicted felon. How's that? How is that going to happen? And so- How am I going to get a passport? But just telling the girls like, if there is a promise that the Lord has given to you or words, prophetic words have been spoken over you and those are yours that you know without a shadow of a doubt, you hold onto those. And I was just letting them know that I was going to Columbia. And so afterwards, Lisa comes up to me and she's like, I want to support you on your

trip. Let me know how we can be praying for you. And I was like, okay. So fast forward six months in June, we're in Columbia, in Medellin, Columbia. And she texts me on Messenger and ask how she can be praying. And then she asked me if I was single. And I was like, yeah, I'm single. And then I was like, why are you asking me if I'm single? She was like, well, there's this guy, this man from our church. She said, but six months ago, as I was hearing your testimony, the Lord really impressed this man from our church on my heart. She said, but I wanted to wait and make sure that it was from the Lord. She's like, is it okay if I give him your information or would you like to talk? And I said, sure. I said that you can never have too many Christian friends. That's what I told her. Right. Right. And that's true too. Yeah. And especially when my heart was in a pure place, I wasn't seeking any ulterior motives, nothing else like that. I was just like, hey, it's just another brother in Christ. I mean, but the Lord knew. And we... So this is while you were on a mission trip with your church in Columbia. In Columbia. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

And he actually thought that I lived in Columbia. And so when Lisa showed him pictures, he was like, that girl's way out of my league. There's no way she's even gonna talk to me. He's like, but she lives in Columbia. So what are the odds? And so when we started talking, he was like, so where do you live? I was like, I live in Texas. And he was like, where? And so I started telling him where I live. And after that day, we've never not talked a day after that. And so fast forward, we got married in December. Six months later, I know that was a little fast, but at our age, we already knew what we wanted. And we were both pursuing the Lord. Yeah, you were, and you did things right too. Yes, yes. You were, you kept things pure. He moved out to Kingdom Towers and got a job. And we just knew that. The men's residential transition facility in Lubbock that we're associated with. And now we do the Lord's work together. So how long have y'all been married? Two years? It'll be two years in December. Two years in December. And this is September 2025 when we're talking. Wow, so that's been a blessing.

It has been, yeah. We've gone on two mission trips together already since we've been married. And we go back into the prisons together. And I love to see this man in his element when he's in front of his brothers and sisters in the prison. He turns into this man that I don't even. So he has a criminal record. Yes, he does, yes. And he's done some time. And his heart is really for those that are still incarcerated. And yeah, so that's wonderful. Now, the Lord is still working on restoring relationships with your mom. Yes. So that's still a subject of prayer. It is. I'm sure you've forgiven her. Yes. Yeah, because forgiveness is, you know how important forgiveness is. Oh yes, absolutely. Well, as we get ready to wrap this up, we could talk for a long time. Yes. We could really go on and on. We probably shouldn't. But as you stop and think,

and here in a minute I'll ask you to pray us out. But I just want to give you a chance to, if there's anything in your heart that you wanted some advice or some words of wisdom for the men and women that are watching this right now, just speak to them for a minute and then we'll kind of wrap it up. Okay, awesome. So for me, I believe, brothers and sisters, that the lifestyle change and the thinking process doesn't start when you get out. Your lifestyle changes now and it doesn't end when you get out either. You take what you've learned and you surrender to the Lord. I had the most precious, most intimate times with the Lord when I was in prison, when I was in my single cell. I did ad seg for two years. And those were the times where I had no distraction, nothing else that separated me from hearing the Lord and just really allowing him to speak to me and heal me in places that needed to be healed before my release. And to know that you have an audience around you, you have eyes that see you constantly. Even if you're not in general population, you still have an opportunity to be an influence even to those officers that come by there. Pray for them, be kind to them. Even though you may not get that reciprocated back, but it's an opportunity to constantly model and show the character and the nature of Jesus Christ.

And know that you have family members and loved ones and friends that are praying for you here, that love you and that are waiting for your arrival. And the time is coming. These days are getting shorter and shorter. There's nothing that you're missing out here in the world. If not, things are getting harder out here. Know that the battle is not only there where you're at, that it's even more fierce when you walk out. So be prepared when you get out, immediately get connected with the church family. Get connected with people that are like-minded that are gonna champion you and are gonna hold you accountable and call you out on your stuff. Because for me, I know I didn't need anybody to sugarcoat it for me. I needed somebody just to be genuine, to be honest and to be truthful with me. Because I didn't have any more time to play around. I was serious about giving my life to the Lord and allowing him to bless me in ways that even today just are far beyond my comprehension. And if he did it for me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt He'll do it for y'all. Get connected, stay connected, that's the key. And never forget that you can never fall too far back, that the Lord does not, that His hand cannot reach you. His hand is not short. His hand is there.

And we are here loving you and praying for you until you come home. Whether that be your earthly home or whether that be our heavenly home. Amen. Yes. Amen. Amen. That's good. Can I pray a sound? Yes, absolutely. Okay. Yes. Heavenly Father, we just thank you for this time, this time that you allotted way before we even knew, Father God, you knew that we would be having this conversation. We thank you for the ears that are being receptive to hear the words that you have spoken through us. We pray for the hearts that they will gladly take on the seed, Father God. And that in this moment, no matter what they're going through, that they will acknowledge you as their Lord and their Savior, their comforter, their hope, Father God. And even when times get tough and the fires get hot and the storms are raging, you will be the strong refuge. You will be the one that they come to. Yes. Thank you, Father God, that they have the ability to cry out to you and you will hear their cries. Even if those cries are in anger and desperation, you just long to hear the voice of your sons and your daughters. Thank you for freedom that only comes from you. Thank you for your refining fire that purifies us and washes us white as snow. We praise you, Lord, for what you're doing. And we pray that you comfort our brothers and our sisters and that you come soon, Jesus.

We love you and we praise you. And these are the things that we pray in Jesus' mighty name. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Well, thank you, Rosita. Yes. Well, I've enjoyed that. We could go on and on. We might have to do it. Yes. We might have to do a part two. I think a part two. All right. Well, hey, thanks for tuning in and God bless you. And just keep Jesus number one. Yes. Okay. Amen.