Lessons from a Good Father

Happy Father's Day, Victorious Living family. This is Christi Everton-Johnson, the host of More Victorious Living, and today I am coming to you from the beach, and it is Father's Day weekend, and I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you. I am sitting here on some sandbags, look at that, I will not even begin to tell you how much these sandbags cost, but they are trying to protect the houses that are here and some property that our family has here, and it is, it's crazy, the tide is actually I think going out right now, still getting splashed a little bit on the back of my head when some of these waves come in, but I always love coming from the beach to bring you to locations that are just so different than where you are now, and I was thinking about you this morning, and I do apologize, but I've got to put my sunglasses on, I always try to look you guys in the eyeballs, and you ladies in the eyeballs, but my eyeballs, they on fire, hang on, okay, I've got to do this, I'm sorry, I was thinking about y'all this morning, because it's Father's Day weekend, and I was thinking about just how difficult this must be for so many of you to, first of all, be, if you are a father, being away from your family, but also, maybe there was many of you who had relationships with your father that was not healthy, maybe some of you have lost your father recently while you were incarcerated, there might be many of you ladies sitting in jail or prison right now watching this video, and you aren't with your dad, or you've lost your father too, and maybe you're thinking about the father of your children, or the lack of the father of your children, that Father's Day can bring up, as does Mother's Day, and Valentine's, and Christmas, and all the holidays, it can bring up so many different emotions, and no matter where you are, and you're finding yourself in that spectrum today, on Father's Day, I just wanted to let you know that your Heavenly Father sees you, and your Heavenly Father loves you, and no matter what, wherever you are right now, you are, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, you are with your Father, and your Father is with you, and so, I just wanted to remind you of that. I was trying to get my daddy to come on camera with me today, here in the South, I say daddy, but he wasn't, he wasn't up to it at the point, he's got some stuff going on up there at the house, and couldn't pull away, but I often use my dad as an illustration, you

know, of a good father, I realize now, I did not realize it at the time, as a young child, I thought my dad knew nothing, I thought my dad was in my business, and needed to be out of my business, and that I knew everything, and the reality is, I had a very wise father, and thankfully I still do, he's 83, I think now, and I'm so thankful to still have his influence in my life, but his influence will always be in my life, because of what he has taught me, not just with his words, but what he's modeled, and I will forever be grateful for all of that, and so I wanted to talk a little bit about my dad today, and things that I learned from him, and I pray that it will be a blessing to you, and maybe teach you, y'all seeing the waves come over and hit me on the head, maybe it will be something that maybe you didn't learn growing up, or you weren't taught by someone who should have taught you, the basic things that my dad taught me, and the first thing that he modeled, that I will forever remember, is his fear of God, my dad always had us in church, he and my mother, and I'm blessed to still have her influence in my life as well, but we went to church, like we were there, he modeled reverence, he modeled honoring God with your life, with your resources, with your time, at night I would see him kneel and pray, I If I went into the bedroom at night, his and mom's bedroom, and I opened the door, I would see my dad in his, he had this white undershirt and these red checkered boxers, and I would see him kneeling beside the bed, often between the dresser and the bed, and he would be saying his prayers every night. His knees knew to bend, and I knew that if I went in there right before bed, that's where I'd see my dad. I never really heard my dad's prayers, other than at dinner time, but I know that every night he was, I'm imagining, asking for guidance with his business, asking God to watch over our family, and that picture of my dad will forever be etched in my memory. I even asked him, I said, Dad, can you get me a pair of your underwear, and he just kind of shook his head and he gave me a pair, and it is his boxer shorts, because I always wanted to have them, and they were clean. But I've even taken them to places, even into prison, and used it as an illustration that something that simple has stuck in my mind, because that was a picture of my daddy kneeling before God.

Before he went to bed, thanking God. I was never in his room early in the morning, I don't know if he did the same thing or not, but I do know at night, he modeled consistency. He also modeled within my home, love, unconditional love. And I think that's why it's so easy for me to trust God as a good father, because I had a good father. And like I said, I didn't realize that that was not the case for other people, and I think back now to high school, and all the different people I've met, and I wonder, what was their life like? Now that I've been in prison ministry for thirteen years, and I think, man, I've met so many people and know that so many did not have that experience. Some did, but a majority did not. And you know, to have that unconditional love, it's been easier for me to then know that God can love us so big, and always be there. And no matter what you go and you take to Him, that He will listen, because that's what my daddy's done. He listens, and He cares, and even when I mess up, He's always there, and it's going to be okay, baby, you know, and you can do it, baby. Those were things that He always said to me, and I know now, because I'm in relationship with my Heavenly Father, and I read His Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of my Heavenly Father, I now know that my dad was modeling what our Heavenly Father says to us, it's going to be okay. I'm with you. I'm fighting for you. Come to me, and I'll give you wisdom that it's safe to come to me and approach me and ask me. In fact, the Bible says God wants us to approach Him and ask Him, but so often we've not been modeled that in our lives, like we couldn't approach our Father. And I will tell you, there's times that I have been afraid to go talk to my dad about things, and I don't know why, but I do know in the Word of God, the Bible says, bring

all your concerns. Don't be anxious about anything. Come and talk to me and tell me what you're thinking and what you need, and be persistent. Talks about when Jesus is teaching about the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6, I believe it is, and also in the Beatitudes, He's saying, be persistent in your prayers. Be honest in your prayers. You're praying to your Father. Come to Him and share what's on your heart. So He's a God that can be approached. I want to share a few just basic things that my dad taught me that really, really helped me in life, and first of all, he taught me how to look people in the eye. And that's why it's always, woo, I'm telling y'all, it is bright. I got white sandbags, or yellow sandbags here, white sand in front of me, and it's just burning. But my dad taught me to look people in the eye. And that's something that I actually shared with a man in prison the other day, because I noticed every time I went in and we were talking, he'd put his head down. And he would never look me in the eye and I just had him look up at me and I said you need to know that you have value and that God sees you and that he is the lifter of your head and God wants you to have confidence in who you are. And I have a feeling that in prison you're probably taught you know don't look the authority in the eyes, don't look visitors in the eyes, but what I see is when people get on the outside a lot of times they're not looking at that. They're not looking at people in the eye because they don't feel like they're worthy. They feel ashamed. They feel embarrassed. They feel guilty. Whatever it is they don't feel good enough and that is one thing my dad said you always look someone in the eye and you always shake their hand and you give a firm handshake. And with the guys the other day at the Pick County Detention Center I had them shake my hand. There's about four or five of us sitting in a circle and I said shake my hand and I gave a firm handshake and then I said now shake it again and I gave him a limp handshake. And let me tell you my dad taught me you look them in the eye and you give them a firm handshake. You don't break their hand and I have had people when I go into prisons it's interesting like when I'm welcoming people into our events

and this happens in the free world too. I'll have some just stick their hand and it's like a limp hand and you know the head's down it's a limp hand but then I've had some that about crushed my hand. So you've got to find that balance of where you're meeting them and it's firm. This shows confidence. It also shows you're intentionally looking at that person and you're engaged with that person. So those are some things that my dad taught me. He taught me to always look around my surroundings and speak to people. To go and to look people in the eye like I said to make sure that they know they were seen. He would tell he would tell me to always make sure that I acknowledged people and made sure I thank them for a job well done and this goes back even to my water ski career. Some of the things that uh do y'all mind if I walk up here because I am I am very uncomfortable. I am very uncomfortable. I have had um a lot of issues with my arms and they're very numb. Let me see if I can come up here oh now not wait wait wait let's come up here. Can y'all see back there? They're hard sandbags. All right let's come over here and let's see if I can't sit down for a second. We're going for a little walk. It's hot y'all ouch okay that's so much better. So my dad would like I was talking about um in my water ski career he always was like make sure that you are um thanking people. Thanking the boat driver. Thanking the judge for being there. Thanking the sponsors for making it happen. Thanking my mother for driving the boat and coaching me and getting me to tournaments. Thanking um even my training partners. I'm always looking around and acknowledging people. It's a huge thing. A very huge thing and so um it's not about my journey and all about me. It's about making sure that I'm aware of others and when I walk into a room that I make it better. That was one thing my dad always said. He is always leave a place better than you found it. I can do that with like picking up trash. If I stay in a and even in a hotel room like that's what my dad modeled. He would even make his bed in a hotel room like you know so it wasn't left a mess for the maid. For the lady cleaning the house cleaning crew and he would leave a tip out on the bed for the person that was coming in behind him to clean up his mess and so those are just little things but when I stay in a person's home or I go into a prison my goal I remember leave a place better than you found it and so I do that physically by if I see trash on the floor but I also do that it's my goal to bring a presence into that prison. A presence of kindness. A presence of light that will overcome the darkness that might be there so how can you

Today let's just stop and let's just review a little bit and make this personal. How can you today make your environment better than when you found it or better than it was yesterday or better than it was 10 minutes ago? What can you do? Can you clean up your cell? Can you organize some things? Can you bring a presence like when you walk into a room it just lights up the place it makes it better? That is something that my dad taught me. Another thing that he taught me when I was competing against other people he would in this is if you don't know my background I was learned to water ski at age four and age five I was competing. I competed until I was 39 and I was I was blessed to be a world record holder and a world champion and all those all those things. But very early on my dad taught me he's like you don't compete against that girl right there. You become the best version of yourself. It's not about what they do on the water because I can't control that. It's about what I do on the water. It's about my preparation. It's about my mindset. It's about how I see myself. So that is exactly something that I have carried everywhere with me even in ministry. Not to look at another ministry and compare and try to beat that ministry. My goodness y'all wouldn't believe that sounds so crazy but you wouldn't believe how many ministries are in competition with one another. Trying to be the biggest and the best when it should be we should be the best version of ourselves what God's called us to do. If I was to go out and try to to compete and be like some other girl too I would not have been me and and I had a certain technique. I had certain skills. I had things that only I it was very unique to me and so if I go and change that and try to be like someone else or beat somebody else my focus would have been on the wrong thing and so that's a very valuable thing to remember that God created you very uniquely and it's not about comparing yourself to other people because listen another thing could have happened if I compared myself to some girl who went out and ran some certain performance I could start thinking oh I already beat her I'm so much better than that and then I never would have grown because it would have felt good enough and even in our spiritual life we can start thinking well you know what I read my Bible a little more than they do that's enough I prayed more than they probably do that's enough it's not about comparing ourselves or we compare and we're like oh that person just read the Bible for four hours and I only read it for 10 minutes I'm not good enough then you feel defeated it's about you being the best version of yourself and you becoming not just the best but the fullest version of yourself so let me see what are some other things my daddy taught me never run in a parking lot

parking lots are dangerous places but you don't run he said because you never know if a car is going to back out and hit you and I'm telling you he he still says that parking lots a dangerous place baby but if you take that and you think about it it's about being aware it's about not rushing through places that something could take you down and that's a great great illustration like in life are we paying attention are we just running through life are we just running through places that we shouldn't be um careless and we're getting hit we're getting taken out might be getting mugged there could be accidents different things like just because we're not paying attention oh goodness I should have written this stuff down this is just stuff off the top of my head my dad taught me about vision and when I was a little girl he used to come in like I already told you come in and he had his red boxer shorts but he would come into my room and he would kneel beside my bed and he was oh sorry my fingers are numb I'm sorry he would um start telling me a story about a little girl named Christy who's gonna be the best skier in the whole wide world this started at age four age five my dad cast vision he modeled a being a vision caster he had a vision for his daughter and then it wasn't about him making it happen and it was about him being this presence in my life that that actually made that thing that he desired and that he could see could happen. Somehow he had a way to make me desire it. Does that make any sense? Like he was never out there, you go out there and you train. He wasn't that kind of dad, but he knew how to motivate me. His desire, because he loved to water ski, his desires became my desires. I've never thought about that really, but not because he forced them on him, but because he modeled them in such a way, he had so much fun out there on the water. My dad would go out there and water ski

and he loved it and it looked so much fun and he shared that with me and he made it fun. And you know, the Bible says that we're actually to train up our children in a way that when they grow old, they will not depart from it. That's a promise. But that training up actually means it's nourishing to them and it feeds them in a way, it's actually the picture of a woman nursing a child, training up your child. You're nursing them, you're giving them what they need, it's desirable and they always want to return to it. And that's what my dad did. He made, he cast vision in my life, but he also lived this life that I wanted it. I wanted it. And that's what God's called us to do, like is to draw close to the things that he's giving us, this vision that he has for our life. God has a vision and he's there with us saying, I see the champion in you. God says that to you, just like my daddy said it to me. I see the champion in you. And I know that champion is in there and I want to bring it out. And that's what my dad did in my life. And he modeled it, he taught it, he had a way to have me chase after it because I wanted it. And that's the thing, we gotta want it. We gotta want it.

My dad taught me about sacrifice. He worked, he worked, he modeled what it is to work. Are we modeling, have we modeled for our children what it is to work? Because we're called to work. The Bible says we're to go and be fruitful and to multiply. We're called to do good things. I modeled those two, God, through my father, showed me how those two things should be lived out. I am to be kind to people, be generous, to give more than ever been given to me. That's what my dad, he gives, he gives, he gives, he sacrifices. Like for me, can you believe he actually built me a lake? And my dad at that point was not overflowing in cash. I know there was sacrifices to buy that farmland, to create that beautiful place and to step out in faith and do something nobody else in that area had ever done. And so those were some of the things there, taking big risk, doing what no one had ever done before. That's what I saw my dad do, building things for other people. Like that lake, it was for me. And that's what God did. He sent his son for us. Everything that he created that you see around me, this ocean is for us. He taught me the value of getting up and trying again. And he would always say, you can do it, baby. You can do it, baby.

You can do it, baby. You can do it, baby. You've got this. I've shared this story many times, but in 1999 in the world championship water ski competition in Milan, Italy, I was last off the dock. I had fallen in a three-way tie for first place. And I could hear my dad screaming from the sidelines, get up. Like, I actually didn't say get up. And his message was get up. It was, you can do it, baby. You can do it, baby. You can do it, baby. His voice was so loud, but I could recognize it because I knew my father's voice. And he was reminding me in that moment, get up, move forward. You've trained for this day. You're a champion. So he taught me the value of getting up because when that rope boat came around, I grabbed hold of the rope and I got up and ended up winning the 99 world championship title, but I wouldn't have if I'd stayed in the water. So my dad would encourage me to get up. And that's what our heavenly father does. He says, get up, get up. It's not over.

You got another chance. You can do it, baby. But, you know, the one thing that my dad could not do for me was ski, but, you know, the Holy Spirit is given to us by God our Father to help us do what we cannot do on our own. When I grabbed hold of that ski rope, my dad couldn't be out there with me, but when we grab hold of God's ski rope, all the power of the boat comes in and becomes our power and he helps us do what we cannot do on our own. And those are the things, that's one of the most valuable things that my dad taught me was to get up, to keep saying hit it. He would keep coming back around and picking me up in that boat and instructing me and giving me the opportunity to try again. That's what my daddy did and that's what my Heavenly Father does and that's what your Heavenly Father does. You know, he's not just my Heavenly Father, he can be your Heavenly Father. Oh my gosh, there's so many things and actually I need to do a whole series on this and like a curriculum and bringing God to this because the things my dad taught me, you know, my dad did not have an education, he, well he said he had a little extra education in elementary school because he got to do the fifth grade, I think it was, twice. But he never went to college, but you know what's interesting, he's got, I don't know, two or three honorary doctorate degrees now that colleges have given to him because of his influences in the life of people in our community, in the life of people in our state. My dad taught me how you, it's your integrity, it's your character, it's your chasing after vision. It wasn't his dad giving him a leg up, I mean my granddad had a grocery store, my granddad taught my dad a great work ethic, and if you don't have a great work ethic, I'm sorry, you're not going to accomplish anything for God either, not just in this world, but for God either. You've got to have that work ethic. But he also, by the world's standards, he didn't have what it would take, like an education. My dad actually created a business with God's help that became the world's largest water

sports and marine business in the world, without education, without someone saying here's the way forward. In fact, he got laughed at, told it would never amount to anything, that he'd never amount to anything, that what he was trying to do was ridiculous. And you know what, my dad saw a need and he filled it. He saw a need that people needed water sports equipment and they couldn't get it, so he started buying it and he started selling it out of the trunk of his car. My daddy would pop that Cadillac hood up too, and he would sell out of the back of his car vests, ski ropes, wetsuits, water skis. And I found recently a picture of my dad, it was a trash can, like a trash can filled with water skis in the back, standing by his car, and there's all these men there, and I know that they were there buying water skis. He saw a need, he filled it, he did what people said would never work, even the lake, it'll never work. The bank laughed at him when he went to get the loan, the bank laughed at him, neighbors came, you know, people were coming against him like, what are you doing? You can't do this, who does this? And so he taught me, you can do anything, if it's God's will and he's put that in your heart. Like, God put that land and that lake in my dad's heart for me to be able to train so I could become a world champion. Not about being a world champion, but so that I could have a platform to touch lives. Now that lake is used to touch more lives, baptisms, ministry events, all these different things. It wasn't about it being a lake, it was about it being a place for God to use for his purposes and he's used my dad for that. And my dad didn't always have the whole picture, but he's been obedient to God to do the things, the hard things. My dad taught me the value of consistently adding things and working on things. Like the place that is Lake Christy, it was a farm, a dry farmland with some trees and

a little string that ran through it. Now it is amazing, there's trees everywhere, but they were intentionally planted. There's grass that has been tended to. And you look at this place and you're like, oh my goodness, but it didn't happen overnight. It's been 42 years. 44 years, I think, of consistently tending to something. And my dad taught me that. The value of tending and caring for something and having vision. He's taught me how to leave a legacy. And I want to just close with that. There's so many more things. Oh my goodness. Things like, you always pass the salt and pepper in pairs. They're married. Mr. Salt and Miss Salt and Mr. Pepper. You can't, you know, just say silly things like that. But there's things I'll always remember. But yeah, I don't remember my thought right then. Sorry. It's hot out here. I wish everybody could have had a dad like mine. And I'm sorry that that wasn't your story. And often I was like afraid to even share about my dad in prison because I was like, I didn't want people to think I was bragging about my daddy. And it hurt me to share about him when I knew so many people didn't have that experience. Even people in our team. But I feel like God has told me or put on my heart to share about my dad so that people can learn some of the things that he gave to me. Some of the things that he's passed on to me. To live a life of on the side of right not wrong. To be generous. To give, to give, to give, to give, to give, to give. To out give what the norm would be. To leave a place better than you found it. To be careful when you walk through places. To look people in the eye. To shake their hands. On and on and on and on and on. You can go back and watch this.

But here's what I want you to know. What my dad modeled to me was not modeled to him. He saw work ethic. But he did not see a lot of the other things. He did not hear the words, I love you. You can do it. You're going to be the best in the world. He heard the opposite. Or he heard nothing at all. But my dad decided early on in his life, I'm going to be different. I'm my family. As for me and my family, we're going to serve the Lord and we're going to have a different life than what I experienced. We're going to have a house of peace. We're going to have a house that's a dry house. No alcohol. Because he had seen the destruction of alcohol. We're going to have a house that the marriage bed is honored. We're going to have a house of laughter. We're going to have a house where every day my children hear and my wife hears how beautiful she is and how much they're loved. And my daddy, he still will tell my mom every day, you're so pretty. You make a tadpole slap a whale. You'd make a bulldog break his chain. These are my daddy-isms. But here's what I want you to hear out of that. That may not have been modeled for you, but you, my friend, have the opportunity to change the course of your family's life. You have the opportunity to take what I just told you and the things that you've learned and the things that God's teaching you through His Word and to make a different world for your children. And you can do that from behind bars. As mothers, as fathers, you can do that behind bars. You can pray for them. You can begin to model forgiveness through conversations, through letters. You can begin to develop a good reputation. So when they come to visit you, they look around, they're like, look at this respect you've got, dad.

Look at the joy on your face, dad or mom or daughter or whatever it is. And you're winning people over by what's changing in you. You can change everything for your family. If you watch BJ Emerson's programming in our content on our content platform for Victoria's Living, he talks about his daddy was incarcerated but started praying. And the change he saw in his dad in prison led BJ to the Lord and changed his family tree, changed a tree that he wants, he says, wanted to cut down has completely changed it. Where his son became saved, his grandkids, all these different things. It can be done and it can be done right now where you are. And in the meantime, you cannot forget, you have to remember that you do have a father and his name. is God. It's Abba Father. That was the first thing Jesus taught us to pray, was our Father. It's not just mine, He's yours too. Our Father who art in heaven, who's above all things, is what that means. He's above all things. The first thing Jesus taught when He taught to pray, He says, you need to know your identity and your relationship. You're not on your own. You don't have to go make all this happen, and you can't. It's your Father is with you, and He's in heaven, which means He's above all. He's not in some distant place. He can see it all. He's above all things. He has authority over all things, and His name is great, and it's the name above all names. Hallowed be thy name. It's the name above all names, and we ask for His kingdom to come in our life, into our prison, into our jail, into our home, and we begin to order our steps in obedience to what God's word and God's will would be for us. That's when things fall into order, and that's when things change for us, when we begin to listen to our Father. He's a Father that can be trusted. He's a Father who will not let you down. He's a Father who will never abandon you, never forsake you. He's a Father that will never lead you wrong. He's a Father that will never… His mercy will always triumph over judgment. He's not out to beat you, maybe what you

experienced, and laugh at you, and mock and ridicule you, and tell you you're nothing. He says you're everything, and you were worth everything to me. You've got to know that. That's the first thing Jesus taught. When you pray, when you come to God, realize He's your Father, and He's above all. He's the name above all names, and He's the one that's going to give you your daily bread, the things that you need for today. He's got it. You ain't got to worry about tomorrow. He's got it. The one that you come to, and He's going to protect you from evil and not let you be overcome by evil. He's going to help you forgive, because He's already forgiven you, and now He's going to help you model that. He modeled it first for us. You have a Father who will never turn His back on you, no matter what. He's the Father of another chance, and He loves you no matter what. So come to Him boldly, as it says in Hebrews. Come to Him. Tell Him what you need, as it says in Philippians 4, 6 through 8. Don't be anxious. Don't be resentful. Don't be afraid of Him. He's a God that can be trusted. He's a Father that can be trusted. So God, I come to You. I thank You, Lord. We've just been randomly talking this morning, this afternoon, but I just want to thank You that You are who You say You are. You do what You say You're going to do, and Father, the first thing that You are is You're our Dad, and You're to be honored. You're Abba, and Your name is holy. Your name is beautiful, and I just pray, God, that in the mighty name of Jesus, that You would open up our hearts and our minds to understand how much love You have for us, that it's unconditional. It's extravagant. It's unfailing. It never ends. It's everlasting. Lord, You told me years ago, Christi, when your heart is breaking, remember, I love you with an everlasting love. And that's what You say to my friends today, that even if their heart is breaking, even if they're in isolation, to remember that You love them with an everlasting love. And Lord, love is patient and kind, and it doesn't keep a record of wrongs, and it always wants the best for us, and that's Your love. So I thank You, Lord, that You have vision for our life, God, that You will help us. You've already made the ultimate sacrifice for us. You will teach us. God, You've already sent Your Son to model how we're to live, just like my dad has modeled for me. And I thank You, God, that You help Your children. You love Your children. You welcome Your children, in Jesus' name, amen. Listen, y'all, watch the slides at the end,

and that way you can have all the connections, pieces that you need to our ministry. Be sure and share this with a friend. Tell people about the Victorious Living Platform and our ministry to the incarcerated. It's not fancy, but it is authentic, and we love you. We love you. And don't forget to write to us. And listen, you can call us. There's a number at the end, but it has to be on your dime. And let me see what else did I want to tell you. And don't forget the PDFs, that if you're watching on Pando, there's PDFs that are attached this to, um, we've started adding to all of our content. Be sure and do that. Use it as a, as a small group study, a personal study. You can watch this video with a friend and, and have a devotional or reflection time. Don't just keep it to yourself. All right. Love you guys. Have a great day. And again, happy Father's Day. Thank you for watching our broadcast. Are you an incarcerated brother or sister who needs encouragement? Write to us at Victorious Living Correspondents, PO Box 2751 Greenville, North Carolina, 27836. Or email us at hope at vlmag.org. To view Victorious Living Magazine in its entirety, please have your chaplain contact us at 352-478-2098. Or email us through our website at vlmag.org. We are happy to provide our Victorious Living Magazine free of charge, in bulk, with or without staples.