Is Healing Possible? | Crossroads Students

You were great back there. You weren't so bad yourself. It still isn't over. Aren't you the sweetest space toy I ever met? I love you. Man, what is up, ladies and gentlemen? Hey, wherever you are watching from right now, you might be watching on YouTube at a coffee shop, you might be at home in your living room, or you might be at a crossroad site right now. Wherever you're at, man, welcome. We're so pumped to have you with us today. If we haven't met, my name is Chris Mester, and I'm one of our student pastors here at Crossroads Church, and today we are on week four of our What is Love series. We've been talking about all these different relationships and dating included, and just so you guys are—just so you know, in case you're curious, what my relationship status is, I am currently engaged, happily engaged to my beautiful fiancée, Veronica. Man, she's awesome. You guys want to know how I risked her up? See, Joe didn't tell you this last week. I got some tips for you, gentlemen, and so one day, to give you the background, one of my colleagues at work, he approached me about this girl named Veronica. He's like, man, I met this girl. I think you'd like her. And I didn't think much of it in that moment, and so I went home, and a couple days later, I decided to text. I'm like, hey, what's that girl's name? He tells me, her name's Veronica. Okay, so I look her up on Instagram, and I follow her, and then she follows me back, and that's step one. But step two, this is the secret sauce right here.

This is called Instagram flirting, and so I decide to like a couple of her pictures, but not just any pictures. I intentionally liked a couple of her old pictures. Now, someone might call this stalking, but I call it game, and it worked because she liked a couple of my pictures back, and so I'm gassing myself up. I'm like, man, all right, we in there, and so I decide it's time to go for the slam dunk, and I slide right into the DMs, and then a day later, we were going on our first date, and now we are happily engaged. Man, and it's been a really, really awesome season. You know, about 12 months ago, I was super single, and I loved being single, but man, this has been really, really fun in this season of dating to now engage to now preparing for marriage. And as we're in this series, one of the things that I've just been processing is, man, I have this desire. I probably don't do it perfectly, probably don't do it well all the time, but I have this like really deep desire, and it is to love Veronica well. I want to love her well. But I also have that same desire in my friendships, like, man, I want to love my friends well. Even the staff that report to me, anybody who's in my circle, my sphere of influence, man, I want to love my people well. But here's what I'm also learning, not just in my, you know, romantic relationship, but in relationships in general, is that they tend to reveal things about you that you might not be fully aware of, or maybe even things that you've kept hidden, you've kept hidden. So far in this series, we've talked about dating, we've talked about friendships, and we might talk about a little bit of those today, but the big thing that we're hitting on today, the big thing is we are talking about you. Wherever you're watching from, just point to yourself for a second. We're talking about you. Today I want to invite us into a place of inner healing and inner transformation so that we are better prepared, that maybe we're more equipped and healthier to love the people

in our lives better. Because there's a reality that a lot of us, and maybe even most of us, have unhealed hurts in our lives. Maybe some of us, we have very unhealthy patterns, and whether you know it or not, they are impacting your relationships. And not only that, but they often become magnified in relationships. And so today, my hope is that you would maybe find and step... into a place of freedom and healing, that you would find inner healing and inner transformation that can only come from Jesus himself. Let me pray before we continue. God, I just thank you for, man, all of my friends who are watching from a distance, maybe they're in another state, maybe they're in another city, wherever they're at, God, I pray that you would just help me to be super, super clear today. If there's anything you don't want me to say, God, would you just take it out of my mind? If there's anything that you want me to say, would you put it at the forefront of my mind? Would you bless these words today, God? In Jesus' name, amen. All right, today, hey, we're gonna be looking at a book in the Bible called Genesis. Genesis is the first book in the Bible, and it tells the origin story of how God created the world. In the first chapter, God's doing just that. He's making this beautiful paradise of a world. He's making the stars and the land and the oceans,

and after he's creating the things, he's repeatedly saying, it is good. It is good. And because he's God, and he's the creator of the world, and he's literally the God of the universe, he determines what is good, and he has decided and declared that, man, his creation and how he originally decided it, designed it, is good. It's good. Chapter two, God then creates mankind, and he makes mankind in his own image, and he declares that, hey, it is good. And you might be familiar with this story. It's a very common and popular Bible story. It's known as Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve were made perfectly in the image of God, and they had perfect relationship with God and perfect relationship with one another, and they had this beautiful paradise of a world, and God's basically like, hey, have dominion over it. Like, enjoy it. This is yours. Cultivate it. Rule over it. This is all for you. Now, there is one thing, though, that God's like, hey, this is all good, but just don't do that right there. It's almost like if you're at a museum and you see all of these beautiful paintings

and historical things hung up, but then you see that sign that says, hey, don't touch. God's essentially like, hey, all this, this beautiful creation, that's good, but just don't touch that. Like, don't eat that. And that brings us then to Genesis three. And as we look at this passage, we're gonna see Adam and Eve make a really, really big decision here. But the thing that we're gonna focus on isn't just the thing that they do, but it's also how they respond. This is Genesis three, verse one to eight. It says, now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. Now, to give some quick context here, the serpent is also known as Satan. Satan is an enemy of God and his whole intention is to pervert God's design and creation and to bring corruption and chaos. So that's the serpent right here, that's Satan. All right, to continue it says, he said to the woman, so the woman is Eve here, did God actually say, you shall not eat of any tree in the garden? And the woman said to the serpent, we may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, you shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden,

neither shall you touch it, lest you die. But the serpent said to the woman, you will not truly die. For God knows that when you eat of it, your eyes will be open and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. So, so far we see Satan, the serpent challenging God's word. Continuing the story, it says, so when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were open and they knew that they were naked, and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. All right, hey, wherever you're watching from, before I lose you, there's a lot to unpack right there. Take a step back. Remember, Adam and Eve, they were in paradise. I mean, it was beautiful. I actually had AI generate an image for us of what paradise.

might look like. I mean in this picture you got like carnivores and vegetarians hanging out. Can you imagine hanging out with Simba and Rafiki and like just chilling? Like this is paradise. It is, it is beautiful. And then the serpent, aka Satan, comes and tempts them. And what he does here, it's so important, I think we need to pay attention to this, is he gives Adam and Eve something that I would call maybe a half-truth, where there's a little bit of truth there, but he's twisting and manipulating God's Word to suit his agenda. And here's the enemy's tactic, is he will often give half-truths and make something sound better than what it actually is. He'll try to pervert God's very intentional design, and that's his attempt right here. I think we see this in so many different ways in culture right now. There's a very specific way that I think we're seeing it that I'm going to hit on. And before I say the thing that I'm about to mention, it's going to be one of those maybe uncomfortable things to talk about, but as we're in this relationship series, man, we have to talk about it. It's too relevant not to talk about it. And the thing that we're seeing right now is maybe a perversion, or maybe we're seeing the thing being perverted is sex. Sex. Now, I want to preface by saying that sex is good. It is good. Man, it was created by God, but remember, God determines what is good. And what God created sex to be was to be between a man and a woman in the context of marriage. It's not just a physical thing, but it is a spiritual, emotional, and a sacred thing. And yet the way that society presents it is, one could argue, maybe a bit destructive. To give you an example, one of the biggest struggles today of young people is an addiction to pornography. We're seeing this at very, very young ages. Young men and even young women addicted to porn. And we see this even in adults, which has led to the objectification of the opposite sex. And there's thing after thing after thing that we could keep highlighting. And so when we take a step back, maybe we just go, man, maybe this isn't what God intended. And if this is something, as you're listening right now, maybe uncomfortable, if this is something that maybe you've struggled with, hey, man, first off, you are not alone. And I'll be the first to say, man, I've had my own struggles. And my heart today isn't to call you out, isn't to make you feel bad, because the problem isn't just the problem, but it's how you respond to the problem. We see it very clearly in how Adam and Eve responded. See, they hid from God. They hid because they felt shame. And not only that, a couple verses later, when God confronts Adam and Eve, Adam quickly blames Eve, doesn't take accountability, and then Eve does the same exact thing

and quickly blames the serpent. And so now you have this culmination of both this feeling of shame and then pointing the finger at other people. But what I love about this story is we see this beautiful response from God. We see His mercy. And I'm not going to sugarcoat it. We also see God give Adam and Eve consequences, but the most beautiful picture that we get here is His mercy. We see it in Genesis 3.21. It says, Now, this might not seem that deep to you or like a big deal, but let's be super, super clear here. Adam and Eve sinned against God. And sin is just going against God's command, going against maybe what He has defined as good. Another way you could say you're missing the mark. They sinned against God. They rebelled against God. And because of that, God had and has every right to fully separate Himself from them and to be completely done with them. But He doesn't do that. We see Him clothe them because He still cares for them. See, that is His mercy. That's God's mercy on display right there. See, I think a lot of us watching right now. A lot of us, man, we've made mistakes. I think a lot of us maybe have unhealthy patterns in our lives that we have kept hidden and secret. Maybe you've crossed physical boundaries with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe you have this addiction to porn that you feel like you just cannot get over, and you find yourself just hiding, isolating, and maybe even self-sabotaging. And for other people, your biggest struggles might not actually be the thing that you're doing, but it's actually the thing that happened to you. To give you an example, when I was a kid, very young age, had some pretty awful things happen to me. As long as I can remember, my biological mom was a drug addict and neglected me at a really, really young age. And I would see her on and off throughout my childhood. Every few years, I would see her pop up in and out. And because of the choices that she made, I had some really terrible things happen to me. I experienced extreme emotional abuse. Every day of my childhood, essentially, I was looked in the eyes and told that I was stupid, that I was dumb, and consistently belittled and put down. I felt like the the black sheep of my family, that no one loved me, that no one cared about me. And I spent a chunk of my life, man, walking around unhealed and hiding in the shame that I felt because of what happened to me. And I just, I couldn't love people well. I was hurt, and I hurt people. That's usually what happens. Hurt people hurt people. I struggled so deeply with friendships because of the pain that I felt, and my relationships would almost magnify it. And because of my fear of rejection,

I would push people away, and then I would point the finger at them and blame them for whatever was going on. See, that's what happened to me, and that's how I responded. And how I responded was just, it was just adding fire to the flame. Now on the opposite, and on the contrary, man, I've made some major mistakes. Again, man, I've crossed physical boundaries more than once. I've done thing after thing, mistake after mistake. I am far from perfect. And in both of those scenarios, whether it was something I did or something that happened to me, for so long I hid in shame. Just like Adam and Eve, I hid in shame. And here's what shame does. Shame tells you that you are bad. It's essentially, you made this mistake, and now that's who you are, or this thing happened to you, and that's who you are. And maybe you've believed the lies of shame. Maybe you've convinced yourself, man, this is just who I am. I just want to tell you, I just want to tell you, wherever you're watching from, that that is a lie straight from the pit of hell. But I also want to help you here, because the hiding that you've been doing, it will never bring healing. Pointing the fingers at others will never resolve this pain that you feel right now. And I just can't help but wonder right now, man, how different would the story have been if Adam and Eve, instead of immediately hiding, instead of pointing the blame at one another, how different would the story be if they were just honest and confessed to the Lord? How different the story would be if they stepped into something called repentance. Repentance. Repentance just means to turn away. I am turning away from sin, and I am turning towards God. And He is a merciful, loving Father, and He was so intentional with His design, and yet it was, they were tempted, and they gave into it. But what would have happened if they repented immediately? You know, what's even better through all this, that Adam and Eve didn't even have, that we have, is we have the finished work of Jesus. See, God sent His only Son, Jesus, who is also God Himself, lived a perfect life, and died for the... sins of all creation, of all mankind, and also resurrected because he is God, that's how much God loves us. And it is only through him and from him that we can experience healing and freedom

and inner transformation. It's not from your boyfriend. It's not from your girlfriend. It's not from pointing the blame. And I have so much empathy, but it's not from hiding. It is only from him. There's a pastor named Priscilla who once said, your value doesn't come from who chooses you. It comes from the God who created you. See, our innate value, it comes from God. And he offers mercy and healing. But man, we have to confront the sin in our lives. There's a churchy word called conviction where God is consistently revealing the sin in our lives, not to shame us, but to bring us to repentance. Now, before I keep talking about repentance, there's one thing I wanna be super, super clear on. Man, if you're listening and you've had awful things happen to you, you don't have to repent of that because that wasn't your fault. That was not your fault. But there is so much power in bringing that thing out of the darkness if it has a grip on you and into the light. And maybe even just with your words, sharing it with a friend. Because man, if you want to love people better in your life and maybe even love yourself better, the best thing that you could do for the people around you

and even for your future marriage if you desire that is by starting with pursuing inner healing and inner transformation. A little over eight years ago, after years of hiding for so long, after years of constantly pointing the blame on other people, after years of trying to find fulfillment in a relationship, I had a radical encounter with God. For the first time, I came to understand that, man, there was a God who loved me unequivocally and he has redeemed every part of my life that has felt broken. And he's constantly working in me. And now today, man, I have my struggles, but man, I have so much love to give. And I can love my fiance better because of the healing that God has done in my heart that can only be experienced from the Lord. And it all started with repentance. Repentance. And in other areas, just bringing the thing out of darkness and into the light, sharing it with the people around me and turning towards Jesus. There's a verse that I've really anchored myself in over the years, just from a guy named David who, man, both had awful things happen to him, but also made some pretty poor choices. But he repented time and time again.

And here are his very simple but powerful words in Psalm 51, 10, 11. He says, create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me. See, David knew, unlike Adam and Eve, he knew that he couldn't thrive without the presence of God. Man, today, wherever you're watching from, would we be like David? Would we stop hiding? Would we stop looking for validation in another person? But will we turn towards God and his presence and invite him to heal and restore it and do what only he can do in your life and in your heart? Let me pray. Father, I thank you for sending your son, Jesus, who paid the ultimate sacrifice, who is all about the work of redeeming his people. God, anybody watching who needs healing in their life, would you do that, God? Would they invite you in and would you heal and restore? In Jesus' name, amen. Well, hey, after hearing all that, you might be going, okay, Chris, I hear you, but what exactly are you asking me to do? And hey, friends, it's really just this simple. Whether it's something that you're doing that you're...

struggling with or something that's happened to you, I just wanna invite you and maybe even challenge you to find a trusted leader in your life or a really, really trusted friend and just share with them the thing that you're wrestling with. And that's just a space for you to invite community into it with you and it's a really, really good place to start. It's not a small, it's a really, really big step to invite somebody into it. And there's so much power in voicing it and having people alongside of you on this journey. Have a good one.