How To Be There For Your Kids (Even When You Can’t)

Welcome to the Victorious Living Podcast. You are about to hear real stories of real people who have discovered the real hope of Jesus Christ. I am Christi Overton Johnson, the founder and publisher of Victorious Living Magazine. Since 2011 I have had the privilege of sharing the most amazing life stories. I never cease to be amazed at the life transforming power of Jesus Christ. Today in our podcast you are going to go deeper into these amazing God stories and hear from those who have overcome incredible odds and discover how they found a life of freedom. You can discover it too. I trust that you'll enjoy today's conversation between our host and our special guest. Thank you for listening and be sure to share the hope you hear and the mission of Victorious Living. Hey, this is Randy. I've got the honor to have BJ Emerson here in my presence. Actually you're in your studio. I'm in mine, but we have joined here together. I've had the privilege of interviewing BJ before, but we didn't really know each other. Since that time I've had a chance to visit with him and be in his studios, an incredible studio as you can see, and he's doing a real great work for the Lord. I say all of that to say this, he is a really great guy. I feel like he's a friend and now a brother in Christ, and I'm excited to be here with him today. And BJ, you had done, they're out there on Pando and the other tablets and the incarcerated that they get to see, a legacy series. And the story was about your father, your real father, whom you were separated from at a young age, and he spent years incarcerated and separated from you. And even though you had other father figures, I guess it just wasn't the same. And I know that we talked about a list of things. You used to compile a list of all the things that your real dad was missing, and you felt like your family tree was just not there.

Today though, and I really, I'm excited about this because I have to tell you in a matter of introduction, I was with Sheridan and Christy in New Hampshire, and a man came up to me just in tears. And it was all about, I could tell it was all about his kids, you know, I'm inside here, how do I regain influence? How do I reconnect? And I'm excited because as I've looked over what we plan to talk about today, you are nailing that, you are hitting the target, the bullseye, and that's what we're going to talk about today. So title it, give us the lead in here, BJ, and then go for it. So, you know, really this is about how to be there for your kids, even when you can't. And it really is a reflection, I think, of what my father did when he was in prison, the actions that he took when he was in prison. And when I was 14 years old, he was arrested by the FBI for a string of crimes, facing 76 years. And, you know, it was a very dark time for our family. And he, though, made some really critical decisions when he was in prison, and decided, as he was concerned, as you talked about with the person you met there, he was concerned about his sons and his father, who he didn't know, and we can get into that story, although I've told it in other places. He was concerned about us. But something happened in him while he was in a federal penitentiary in Springfield, Missouri. Soon after he arrived there, some guys started inviting him to Bible study and church service and that sort of thing. And he eventually responded and came to Christ and gave his heart to the Lord and decided he was going to, you know, have this relationship with his creator through Jesus. I didn't know what any of that meant at the time. I didn't know what was going on. He started writing.

Things started to change. And I saw a change in him as, you know, God was working on him there in prison. And I saw a change, and that affected me. And again, the reason we're talking now, decades later, is because of these decisions that my father made in prison. And so I think for many, as I... I met guys as well who had been or were incarcerated. My father and I would go in and and speak. And I had people coming up to me, hey, weeping. I wish my daughters would forgive me the way that you forgave your father. And they had this longing, you know, for restoration, honestly, is what it's all about. And so I think that's what we're going to talk about today is just how to be there, like really practically speaking. There may be walls physically separating, you know, you and your the people that you love, the people that you care about. And, you know, some people may even have legal like restraining orders preventing them from contacting them. And so you may not see much hope for restoration on this side of eternity, if you will. So what do you do? Right. Is there anything that you can do? And I'm just here to say you are not helpless and you are not hopeless. And I'm just here to testify that, you know, God can take a broken situation and he can restore it. And it doesn't matter where you are and what separates you, because he transcends all of that and he's sovereign. So here to encourage you today in a very practical way, hopefully, that if Jesus can walk through

walls and lock doors, he can in your situation, I've seen him do it, he can restore no matter what the situation is. And that's his heart. And I think that's what I want to communicate, really, is that the father's heart in this whole, you know, in your situation, what is his heart? And his heart is restoration. You make a powerful statement in your notes, in your opening paragraph, you know, and you touched on restraining orders. And I know that I still do this today. So I think this is the biblical principle that you're talking about when you can't feel like you can't directly influence, even if even in a situation outside a prison where a parent or a person or a friend is trying to help somebody else. But the Holy Spirit, you wrote here, there is no restraining order on the Holy Spirit. And that's the point you're making. The Holy Spirit can enter and go directly into a situation and into a person's life. And, you know, again, the scriptures don't return void. You know. Yeah. So that's that's powerful. That's really powerful. So that's that's kind of that's kind of where you're going with this. You feel separated. You feel disconnected. And it could be on a scale of, you know, massive scale, very different for each and every person listening to this. So you're going to give them some guidelines in this podcast

on how to change that, how to how to become a factor in your children's lives again. Yes. Yep. And I think there's some things that, you know, frustrate us. And I want to speak to those things. I want to talk about the burdens that we put on ourselves and the yoke that we try to carry, that we were not designed to carry, that only God can, you know, some things only he can do. But let me jump into kind of the first thing that I think is probably the biggest point here. Is that one of the things that you can do in being there for your kids, even when you can't, is this allow God to work on you. Allow God to work on you. Take this time and, you know, look at what is God trying to do in me? Right. What kind of work is he trying to do? What kind of character is he trying to build? How am I developing his character? How am I allowing that to permeate my life, the fruit of the Holy Spirit? And I started to see these things in my father and, you know, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. I started seeing these things and I didn't understand it, but it was powerful. And that's what my father was doing, is allowing God to work on him. He was getting into Scripture, obviously learning the word of God, but also knowing the heart of God through his word. I think that's important. And this character that he's developing within you is going to sustain you for the rest of your life.

That's going to be with you. and into eternity, his character, and so, you know, get in community, find accountability with someone, a believer who's like-minded, who, you know, is doing the same thing, seeking God, get in fellowship with others, and start serving others. You know, here's the metaphor, the illustration I like, is that sometimes, you know, you see people, and I have one particular brother I know, that he seemed to kind of sprout a little bit, and he grew a little bit, and things were happening, he was excited, but then God pushed him back down into the dirt. It's like He put His finger, and He pushed that little, that little seedling, He just pushed it back down into the dirt. And boy, he was frustrated, and it just kept happening again and again. He would grow, and he'd get excited, and something would bud, and God just pushed him back down in the dirt. And, you know, I just felt the Lord just impressed upon me that, like, He's just building character, and pushing those, making those roots go down deeper, right? And that brother now is just thriving, he's flourishing, and I see him growing. And, you know, I think that's kind of part of the process, right, in what God wants to do while He's developing character in us. So don't, here's the thing, don't get frustrated if He pushes you back down in the dirt. Just see it as, man, God is working on my character. He's developing that in me, and it's through His power that He's doing that. And that's what I want to operate in, is His character and His power, not on my own. It's, you know, I'm putting my pride aside. I'm putting my will under His will. I'm putting my kingdom under His kingdom. And it's that time that you have right now to do that. Man, that is, you're going to look back and be like, this is a rich time, man. And, you know, beautiful flowers grow in the valley, right, where the rich soil is. It's in the valley, and that's maybe where you're at right now. So again, point number one, allow God to work on you. What would you say to that, Randy, in that point? Yeah, as you're talking, I am remembering some key points from your Legacy series that I feel are very important to fit in here. And again, time, you know, the parents that we're talking about who are incarcerated, most of them have time on their hands. Yeah.

But, you know, when we let God work in us, there's a tendency to get so excited and go from one extreme to another and become extremely zealous. But you're encouraging, okay, just keep working on yourself, but be patient with your kids. But I want to dive in real quick here, BJ, as you, the child. Yeah. You have issues in your own life. I don't think in every single case that a parent who's incarcerated is thinking, you know, well, my kids are living a perfect life and, you know, how I was or wasn't had no effect on them. And again, that's a generational thing. There is influence there. And you don't maybe know exactly where your child's head's at or their heart's at. And I remember you telling a part of your testimony, you weren't real receptive at first as a child to your father. Well, my attitude was like, you know, what little I knew, my attitude was literally, well, dad is getting religion, good for him. Right. That'll be helpful for him. But it wasn't something I understood. I remember telling a guy and we might have talked about this before. I remember telling a guy because my father would send me, you know, things and he would write and everything. And I shared it with this one guy who was a believer and I wasn't at the time. And he goes, what do you think of all this? And I said, well, I just don't get into it. And he said to me, it's not something that you get into. It's something that gets into you. And that stuck with me. And eventually it did get into me. You know, when I just received what, you know, when I received Christ and the Holy Spirit came and God really started to move and I started, you know, growing myself spiritually. But yeah, at first I didn't understand it. And I think that you need to be patient in that my next point is actually, you know, 1st was allow God to work on you. 2nd point is allow God to work on them, and you've got to trust God's timing, His sovereignty, be patient in the waiting. Uh, yeah, don't rush it and, you know, share with them what you're doing, what you're going through and what God is speaking to you. And that's, you know, you need to do that. Um, but I like the Scripture Philippians 1 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

And there's a there's a past present and a future in that in that Scripture that God started something in you, and he's doing it right now, and he's going to carry it on to completion. And so, uh, you know, he's sovereign, he will do things in this time and you don't want to rush, uh, the restoration if you will. Um, and that's, if someone comes on, okay, you get, you accept Christ, you're in prison, you want your family, you'll want to reconnect with, with your family and, and all. But if you get too intense about it, then it, like you said, it almost becomes, oh, mom or dad got religion. As opposed to it's a relationship and being consistent over a period of time, just like, like some say, it's like, it's like planting seeds, watering them and God may push the seed back down for more root. So if this is something that's going to take time in a rare case, is it going to produce fruit instantly as much as we'd love for it to in our heart? It's going to take time. Sure. No restoration surely takes time. It took several years to work through a lot of things for me. And then even eventually, uh, when we got to the point later, decades later, when we were speaking together in prisons and we kind of developed a whole presentation and spoke to guys, it was amazing. Um, and then my father was reunited with his father miraculously and which is a story I've told other places. Um, but here's the thing is that in, you know, don't rush that restoration. Um, you might break the very thing God is trying to heal. Right. Um, my father didn't demand my forgiveness. Okay. And, uh, he, he just lived a life that was so different that when I needed power, when I needed access to this power that he had, I went to him and I asked him, um, like, Hey, I need this power that you have this thing that you have access to. Because I see a difference in your life and the fruit of the Holy spirit coming through your life and your character has changed. I need access to that. When I was hurting and broken, then I went to him and I knew that he had answers and it was in this book, uh, that he was reading. Right. So you, you saw him begin to set a completely different example. It wasn't, you know, when people have issues. Okay. I've changed. No time passed. There was patience and you actually began to see and witness that his example, his character, his personality, his life indeed was changing. Not over a period of a couple of days, not over a period of a couple of weeks. This was over a period of time because the Holy spirit was working in your life too.

Yeah. And here's, here's the illustration that I like. I just shared this with a parent the other day who is separated from their child at the moment and they are hoping for restoration. They, um, they're just seeking God about it. Now, uh, Randy, I like to restore vintage motorcycles. That's my, one of my hobbies. And, um, I will take in the end, they're beautiful. Uh, and I will take an hour, if not more on one little nut and bolt and washer. And it has to be the right length. It has to be the right size that the fit together. Just right. The right type there. They're stainless, they're polished and they have to fit just right. And when I put them in place, they are perfect. And they're going to handle the vibrations that come when I take that thing on the road. And so, um, uh, that's what, uh, this is like, that's what this restoration process is like. Um, and you can't rush it and it takes time. And when I think about that and I think about the heart of God and the spirit of restoration that I'm talking about, it takes time, but it is permanent. And he does it well, and he does it right. And he's in it for the longterm. And that's how we have to see this restoration process. So like the gas tank, you sand it meticulously, right? Well, it takes weeks, if not months. You know, then there's, then there's the priming and you know, then the, then the wet sanding and because if you don't, the old comes shining, comes breaking right back through, doesn't it? Yup. For sure. For sure. But that's the illustration I like is to just don't rush, you know, that restoration,

just be patient, allow God to work on you, but allow God to work on them. And you know and I think that's where we maybe segue into, you know, praying for your children. Right. How, how do I do that? How can I pray for my children and lift them up? Um, maybe we segue to that. Yeah. So praying for your children and I'm, I'm, I'm looking down through here and just thinking of, of granted there are limitations, you know, that's the frustrating part, you can't go sit and look at them face to face unless they come and visit. So there's a whole different group of parameters that one has to deal with in this process and patience, consistency, all of that is, is key and giving up control, that's big. Yeah. You, you can't, you can't be there every single day. So you've really, you talk about trusting God for yourself, but trust you. So you're working on yourself, you're, and when you have the chance to do things, and we'll talk about that to influence your child, but how, how is that giving up seeding control? Well, I think if, if you don't start with that posture, uh, all your prayers, well, they're going to be kind of futile, I think. Um, so I think we do need to kind of wrestle that, uh, in our, in ourselves where, yeah, if you're in a controlling posture, um, that's not going to be helpful. So I think surrendering this posture of surrender, uh, this posture, because control is just based in fear. Okay. Just, you know, that's the long and short of it.

And when we have this posture of surrender, we're going to be able to, um, just be open to what God has for us. Uh, we can receive just being in a posture of receiving as opposed to like tightly controlling a situation. Um, so I think that's where the prayer starts, even before you pray, like, what is the posture of my heart? Is it one based in fear or is it one where, Hey, I'm just surrendering to what does God want to do here? How can I put my will under his will? How can I seed control to what he might want to do in any given situation and let him be sovereign, uh, cause we are not. And, uh, I think that's where it starts before we even pray. I think that's a good point, Randy, that we just need to let go of that control. Um, that's, that's huge BJ, because I'm sitting here thinking too, whether you're in a cell or not. I mean, even if you, you know, if someone's listening to this, that is not in prison, no matter what, it's a matter of, of control that you don't have. And, and you put in there about shifting the burden, you got to let go and let God. That's really what you're saying here. Yeah. And that's, you know, that that's been used a lot, but I think the yoke that we put on ourselves, the pressure that we put on ourselves is not something we were designed for. Um, you know, and those things that we can, you know, give over to God and allow him to, um, you know, take those things and, uh, just be in that receptive posture, if you will. Let me, uh, I came up with this prayer that, uh, I wrote for, uh, both myself. Well, my wife and I, and then some other couples as well. And I'll just, I'll just read it to you.

This is the prayer for our children. And you can, I think the posture comes through in some of this, uh, Lord, help me not be afraid when it comes to the wellbeing of my children. So right away, let's just not be afraid. Help me not be afraid. Let me rest. in the knowledge of your love for them, in your sovereign reign over their lives. I know in your wisdom you will draw them to yourself and bring their hearts into alignment with yours. I cede control to your will for them in your good character toward them. Your word says the children of the righteous will be blessed for many generations. Cause them to long for life-giving community and to draw near to you quickly when times are dark. We have trained them up in the way they should go and we trust they will not stray from your good ways when they are older. Cause them to thirst after you and your love as we continue to endeavor to show them the heart of our Father. Give them discernment when they encounter counterfeit gods. And I think there's some things in there that we could touch on that it really comes down to, do you believe the character of God? Do you believe that he is good at the end of the day? Do you believe that? And when we, I think, come to terms with that, that he is good, that his character is good, we can trust him, that he has these things in control. He is sovereign, he is sovereign, but he is also good. Does that make sense? Yeah, it's good. I'm just, wow, really touched by that. That's powerful. I hope that's encouraging, you know, for people. And that's just a prayer that even if we don't, like even if we didn't, you know, it says we've trained them up in the way they should go, which is a scripture, but maybe you haven't, maybe you weren't there and you were a horrible parent. My dad was not a role model in any way before he came to Christ. And he was angry and bitter and a lot of pride and, you know, but again, he changed the trajectory of our entire family. There may be some specifics that we'll allude to, but not get into. Each parent, depending on what went on in their life or how they were prior to going into the prison, being incarcerated, there may have in some cases been some not so good interactions, between parents and kids. And, you know, there again, you have to understand the dynamics as a

parent and to recap, number one, get yourself right with the Lord, reach out to a chaplain, go to a prison program, ministry program, and get serious about you, working on you, and then begin to pray. And again, for different situations, not just, you know, from being an absent parent to, I may have contributed to some of the trauma my child feels and feels separated from me. There's just a huge, you know, range there. And again, it comes back to dealing with the anxiety that you feel in your cell. I love how you make that though, how you point that out, BJ. You've got to just cede it over to the Lord and pray for your children. Work on yourself and pray for your children. Yeah. Right. And to maybe make the picture a little bigger, you know, we think about, oh, you know, I need restoration. Certainly on this side of, you know, I had the, I had the opportunity to see this restoration of three generations in my lifetime, which not a lot of people get to see. I get that. And you may not see the restoration again on this side of heaven. But He is the one that will restore all things. And those relationships, the, you know, the trauma that you're talking about, the hurt that you may have caused, He is the one that holds the power to restore all things. Whether He does it in, when you, you know, whether you get to see that or not, you know, in those kinds of situations, I think, again, we give it over to Him and let Him do His thing. Because when you do, He has got a better idea than you do. I wanted to cut down my family tree and God had a better idea and He restored it. So let's, let's take the next step here. The Parent is working on themselves, getting themselves right with the Lord. They are praying for restoration, praying for their child, praying for the relationship. It's gonna take time, you gotta be patient. It's about change of character and setting an example. So I'm gonna write them a letter. What do I say in that letter or letters that I may write? How do I start that process? Yeah, I think just first know that they may not understand or have an appreciation for this great revelation

that you've had in your cell with some scripture and that sort of thing. And that's, you can certainly write to them about what you're learning in God's word. But I think more importantly, I think you need to convey God's heart, which is gonna take time to kind of, as you're abiding in Him, it needs to come out of that, needs to come out of that relationship with what's happening with you and God. And so, again, you're being patient. But I think it's okay to say, as I was reading this particular scripture today, I was impressed that here's what I thought God was saying to me and how it applies to me and my situation and let them know that God is working on you. And then you can let them know that you're praying for them. And for me, that was important to know. I didn't understand it at the time, but it was something, it was critical information that you have to share. If you don't, how else would they know? But I think you need to be patient with that and to share with them what God is doing in your heart as you're allowing Him to work on you. So it might be important to not start out with, hey, I'm changed, but maybe something more like, wow, I'm doing a real self-evaluation. God's showing me a lot of things. I'm beginning the process of change of my character

of my thinking, of my emotions. You know, again, it's not, hey, I've changed and expect everything to just move forward. You know, in filmmaking, we say it's better to show than tell, right? So pray for opportunities that God will allow you to show them what He's done in your heart and the patience and the kindness and goodness. React differently. You're gonna react differently than you did before to bad news. And that will show them like, oh, before you would have been angry and there would have been a whole long string of profanity with this particular situation. And, you know, as God works on you, that will change for sure. And so, you know, look for opportunities to show, don't necessarily tell, but, you know, you need to use words sometimes, but look for opportunities for God to, you know, for you to demonstrate what God has done in you. So there'll be some results, you know, of this transformation that's happening in your life. Yeah, I always heard the phrase kind of like you were saying growing up too, your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks. You know, yeah. Wrap your brain around that one, right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think one of the things that you could do and like maybe instead of, maybe perhaps before you'd be complaining about the guards or the food or your cellmate or whatever, how could you come across a little differently in your posture and how you treat others and your, you know, being thankful? What about gratitude? You know, and there's lots of scriptures about that, being thankful in all, you know, situations. And so, and again, they're not gonna be able to ignore, like, well, my previous call, and maybe it's not gonna be this black and white, but, you know, it's gonna go from like a lot of complaining and profanity to, you know, now he's thankful about things. I'm confused, I'm disoriented because this transformation is happening in this person's life. So, you know, look for those opportunities. I think that's a practical way, you know, because you're being changed and allow them to see that, you know. How did your father's integrity? really, because clearly, from what I know of the story, he didn't have much at the beginning. But he developed that. His whole integrity changed, his integrity in prison.

You mentioned a spiritual inheritance for you for later in life. How does that change the trajectory of generations and break cycles of family dysfunction? That's huge. Toxic environment, cycles and cycles of family dysfunction. What can this parent who's incarcerated do during this time to begin a generational blessing? You struggled a little bit with that word there. I slurred that a little bit. Generational blessing. Right. Just as a reminder, my father, because of his addiction to drugs, alcohol, and gambling, made fake bombs. And he would put them in businesses, grocery stores, that sort of thing. And he would call them up and say, I'm going to blow up your building unless you bring money to this particular location. And the particular way he did it was very successful, if you will. He did it 26 times across three states before being caught. And so that's the starting point. That's where we started with this. That's where this addiction to drugs, alcohol, and gambling, and everything that went with that. Then slowly, I started to see, as he went into prison and as a result of getting involved in these Bible studies and church services and following Christ and allowing God to work on him, and miraculous things

happened in prison that he couldn't deny. And then we started seeing some of these things, hearing these things. And blessings started coming out of his mouth instead of curses. He was generous, where before he was taking, he was stealing, he was exploiting. And now he was being generous, and he was giving. And there was something in him that was overflowing out to others. And we saw that. We felt that. And he was there. And here's the thing. Through the whole time that I thought I needed my father, when he was in prison, I said that I missed all these things. You said it. I missed all these things. Graduating high school, getting a car, going to the military boot camp, got married, had a daughter. He missed all these things. And I thought I needed him at that time. But God was working on him, and God was working on me. And so when my father eventually got out, God knew that that was the father that I needed, not the one before, not even the one that was in transition or the one that was being restored and renewed, and God was transforming him. I needed the father that when I was in my darkest place. And my father had the character and access to this power

that I'm talking about. He was there for me at that point when I really needed him. And God knew when I would need what I needed. And so he was there. And so that generational blessing started really at that point, that he was a blessing to us. And he was for the rest of his life. And he was in prison ministry for 30 years. He died about a year and a half ago. And his legacy, what God did in his life, just continues to this day. And thousands have been reached because of this story, and I hope encouraged. And so there is a very biblical precedent here for this whole generational blessing thing. There's a number of scriptures. I'll just go through a couple of them here because these are promises that I think we can stand on. If we are going to trust God, if we're going to put our lives in his hands, it says that something changes. The Bible repeatedly links a parent's devotion to the security of their offspring. And it's this inheritance of favor. And I feel that. Psalm 112, one through two says, blessed is the man who fears the Lord. His descendants will be mighty on earth. The generation of the upright will be blessed. blessed. You know, Proverbs 20, verse 7, the righteous man walks in his integrity,

his children are blessed after him. And again, in a tangible way, these are things that I experience and I hope to push down to, you know, my children and my grandchildren. So I think that's how God works. That's how I've seen him, his character, his goodness through generations. Um, that's how he operates and you can see it in scripture. I'm listening to this and thinking the verse or the biblical principle that's probably quoted most when it comes to parenthood is usually the negative, the sins of the father, blah, blah, you know. And, uh, but what you're suggesting here is a list of things that a parent who's incarcerated or even just a parent doing the right thing can flip that to a blessing, not a curse, not a damnation, not a toxic life passing on to father and children and parents and children, but a generational blessing. That's amazing, BJ. That's, that's really good. Change the trajectory of generations to come. That's pretty. The challenge in the call to action here is specifically this, um, are you going to be the one to stop the cycle of dysfunction in your family? Wow. Yeah, that's it. Are you going to be the one to stop? And we're inviting you to say it stops here. That's our invitation to our listeners today. Um, get started on that journey because it is a journey, uh, that God is going to take you on when you say that. And my father's prayer was as for me and my house, we're going to serve the Lord. And, uh, he didn't know how that was going to come about, um, how we would receive that, but that was his posture and the leadership that he took in that. Um, and that was Joshua's, you know, posture. If you go back and look at that. Um, so I think we can, we can have confidence. These are his promises. We can have confidence that, that he's going to be on us and our children and our grandchildren. Um, yeah, BJ, I gotta, I gotta thank you for being open. Uh, those watching this can see how even all these years later, it's still tender, still very special, very tender. That's the word. Yeah. You know, it's still tender, still very special, very tender. That's the word. Yeah. You know, and, uh, very authentic, very real, very impactful. Thank you for sharing that. I don't want to be the one to close this out. I'm going to ask you at the very, this

very moment to go back to just a couple of minutes ago. I want it to be the very last thing we say that call to action. Okay. I want you to do that. And again, I want to thank you because I'm not going to say anything else that is just so powerful. That's where we need to end it. The call to action. What was it? All right. We'll just close with this. We're inviting you to put your legacy, leave your legacy in the hands of a loving God, uh, surrendering to him, yourself and your family, uh, putting, uh, away control and fear, trusting in this good God that he can, uh, restore all things and, uh, put your life in his hands, allow him to work on you, allow him to work on your children. Uh, but you be the one to say today, I'm going to stop the, the cycle of dysfunction in my family, whatever was handed down to me from my ancestors. Um, it stops here and you can be that person. That's what we're inviting you to do today. So why don't you pray with me right now? Lord, uh, we just give over all our fears in our control to you. We submit to you and your will and your good character, your good nature. We We lay our lives in Your hands, and we leave our children in Your hands as well. We know that Your good character can be trusted. We believe that You are good and that You have sovereign control over their lives. And we thank You for them and help us, Lord, to just be open to You, to receive what You have for us, develop in us that character that You want to develop in us, give us the fruit of Your Holy Spirit, in Your power, and in Your timing. And we thank You and we just trust You in all of these things, in Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Amen. Thanks, BJ. Thanks, Randy. Thank you for watching our broadcast. Are you an incarcerated brother or sister who needs encouragement? Contact us at Victorious Living Correspondents, PO Box 2751, Greenville, NC 27836 or email us at hope at vlmag.org. To view Victorious Living magazine in its entirety, please have your chaplain contact us at 352-478-2098 or email us through our website at vlmag.org.

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