HE MET ME IN MY MISERY | John 4:4–29 | Chris Durso

of Titus, to the book of Titus. We're going to read three verses from the book of Titus, and then we're going to skip on over to the book of John. Titus chapter 3 verse 3 says this, "At one time we two were foolish." At one time we two were foolish. Can anyone agree with that statement or would you say, "No, I've never been foolish. I've always been smart." Where are those people at? Where are those people at? Okay, all of you that have always been smart, this is not for you, but there's a seat for you right outside because this is all of us. At one time we two were foolish, disobedient, deceived, and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. Notice, that he doesn't say all kinds of sins. They're sinful, but he also identifies that what is a sin we do find pleasuring. And we've been deceived by them and enslaved by these passions and these pleasures. There was a time. Maybe not today. I'm not who I used to be. Maybe you see some pictures of me. If you knew me 10 years ago, five years ago, five months ago, five days ago, minutes like I keep going. All right. I was a different person. We lived in malice and envy and being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us. I asked them to highlight that word appeared because I wanted you to remember the moment that Jesus appeared to you for the first time. Does anyone remember? Does anyone remember that moment? Maybe you're like me, you grew up in church, but there are moments where you heard Jesus for the first time. You felt his presence for the first time and it changed everything, or maybe you didn't grow up in church, but you had an encounter with God and it radically changed your life. Where are those people at? When you hear that Jesus appeared and showed up in your life, come on, let me see your hands real quick. This is what he's getting at. The love of God our Savior appeared. He saved us. Not because of righteous things we had done. Not because I worshiped loud enough. Not because I came in in my Sunday's best. Not because I had a clean streak of not cursing or not being mean to somebody or not doing what I said I wasn't going to do. Not because of any of those things, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit and renewal of the Holy Spirit. Somebody say renewal. Come on louder, renewal. We spoke about renewal last week. This is important. It's the renewing of your mind and we'll touch a little bit on that a little bit later, but it is only possible by the renewal that happens through the Holy Spirit. I want you to skip on over to the book of John because as I ask you to remember a moment that Jesus appeared to you and met you and that changed you, I want to look at a moment where Jesus appeared to somebody else. And this was a moment of renewal. This was a moment that

was difficult. It was dark. It was shameful. And yet Jesus shows him. John chapter four verse four says this. Now he had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sakhar. Near the plot ground of Jacob had given to his son, Joseph. This is the same Joseph, by the way, that we talked about last week. Jacob's well was there and Jesus was tired as he was from the journey sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, will you give me a drink? His disciples had gone into the town by food. The Samaritan woman said to him, you are a Jew and I'm a Samaritan woman. How could you ask me for a drink? For the Jews do not associate with Samaritans. There was a lot of racial tension between the two. Jesus answered her. If you knew the gift of God and who is it that asked you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water. Sir, the woman said, you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father, Jacob, who gave us the well and drink from it himself as did also his sons and his lifestyle? Jesus answered, everyone who drinks in this water will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring. The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw the water." Look at this. He told her, "Go call your husband and come back. I have no husband," she replied. Jesus said to her, "You're right. When you say you have no husband, the fact is you've had five husbands and the man you now are with is not your husband. What you've said is quite true. Sir," the woman said, "I could see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem."

"Woman," Jesus replied, "Believe me, a time is coming. When you will worship the Father, neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know. We worship what we do know for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has come now when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth." For they are the kinds of worshipers the Father seeks, which pay attention to that. Jesus says the Father is seeking for the kinds of worshipers that worship in spirit and in truth, not just in spirit, not just in the Sunday spirit, not just in a religious spirit, not just in a, "I grew up in church, so I'm gonna go through all the motions type of spirit," but in spirit and in truth. And honesty and authenticity. That's what he's looking for. And then it goes on to say the woman said, "I know the Messiah called Christ is coming, and when He comes, He will explain everything to us." Then Jesus declared, "I the one speaking to you, I am Him." Just then His disciples returned and were surprised to find Him talking with a woman, but no one asked her, "What do you want? Or why are you talking with her?" Then leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people,

"Come see a man who told me everything I ever did." Verse 29 says, "Come see a man who told me everything I ever did." Could this be the Messiah? They came out of town and made their way to Him. Look what it says. She says, "Come see a man who told me everything I ever did." Could this be the Messiah? And it says, "They, who's that, the people in the town?" They came out of the town and made their way toward Him. I want to take next few moments that I want to preach to you from this thought. He met me in my misery. If you're taking notes, write that down. He met me in my misery. Let's pray one more time. Holy Spirit, speak in Jesus' name, amen. Come on, can you get a loud amen? Amen, amen. A couple of weeks ago, I was traveling with my son, Dylan, 'cause I was preaching in Sacramento. But there were no direct flights to Sacramento, so I had to land in San Francisco. And anyone that's ever been in that area knows that they're not necessarily the closest. It was about a two-hour drive to where we were going. So the moment we landed, we went and we grabbed our luggage, we jumped in a rental car, and we made our way toward our hotel. When we pulled up to the hotel, the host of the church that I was preaching for, met us in the lobby. He was gracious enough to meet us in the lobby,

hand us the hotel key so that we could go directly to our room. We jumped in the elevator with all our luggage. We go to the room, we take the car, and I start to swipe it, dreaming about the nap that I'm about to take. But as I'm swiping the key, nothing. I swipe it again, nothing. So then I go faster, nothing. I go slower, nothing. I flip it, nothing. I reverse it, nothing. Now, I'm certain that the keys must have. I go back down to the lobby, I grab my son, I grab my luggage, completely exhausted. I go to the front desk, and I let them know the key isn't working. The woman at the front desk takes the key, she goes to reprogram it, and as she's looking at the key, she says, "Sir, this key is not from our hotel." Said, "Excuse me?" She said, "The key you just handed me doesn't belong to us." So I immediately reach out to our host, and I let him know what's happening. And as I'm describing it to him, he stops me, and he says, "Pascris, I'm so sorry." We actually sent you to the wrong hotel. I'm confused. I show up to the address they gave me, and in that hotel they handed me a key. As I'm there and I'm frustrated, all I'm thinking to myself is how does this even happen?

Because the truth is they weren't even different hotels, they were the same brand hotel. Same room number, same amount of floors, wrong hotel. The problem was never the key. I was trying to use the right key in the wrong place. And what got me is that I never questioned the hotel. I questioned the key, I questioned the lock, I questioned the front desk, I questioned whether I was swiping it correctly, I questioned everything except my location. And isn't that what frustration does? It convinces us that the answer is to keep trying harder. Failure rarely makes us reconsider where we've been looking. Failure rarely makes us reconsider where we've been looking. And what I've learned is that in those moments of failure, misery wants to get the best of me. My frustrations, my feelings, they want to lead me, they want to guide me, they want to point me in a direction that I do not need to head in. And what I've realized is that misery is allowed when failure is present. Anyone ever felt miserable before? Anyone ever felt like they were failing before? And what I've realized is that just like this woman, just like this woman, she was in the middle of failure. Five husbands failed. The man she's with now, living with, who she shouldn't be living with if she's not married according to the law. Failing.

And it is in that place, in that moment where Jesus shows up and meets her. When you find yourself in a moment where you feel like you're not able to move forward because of the circumstances that are around you or the feelings that are in the inside of you, I want to suggest to you that that's the exact place that Jesus wants to meet you. When you feel like you can't go any further, when you feel like you're not going to be able to make it, when you feel like you've made bad decision over bad decision, over bad decision, it is in that space that Jesus wants to help you, wants to meet you, wants to lead you, and wants to guide you. I've learned that as loud as misery can be in our life, it actually never gets the final word. I love that when I'm in moments where I'm feeling overwhelmed, misery will tell me how the story is going to end, but I hear the voice of the Holy Spirit saying, "I'm not done writing. "You're not going to make it any further." And Jesus says, "I can make ways in the wilderness." Misery will say, "Don't trust another relationship. "Don't attempt to find happiness again. "Don't attempt to find joy again." But Jesus says, "I'm with you, I'm for you. "I'm leading you, I'm guiding you. "Do not allow misery to prophesy over you "because if you do, the misery that is prophesying over you "will lead you into a miserable life."

But I believe that Jesus comes to awaken you to everything the Father has made possible to you. Some of you have lost hope today, but you're gonna regain it. You're gonna regain it because God wants to meet you right where you are. And this is it, it's where you are. If we were to describe where you are right now, it wouldn't be, I'm inside the Gramacy Theater, it wouldn't be that I'm downtown Manhattan, I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about where you are emotionally, where you are spiritually, how are you feeling right now? If I were to ask you to describe to me what is going on in your world, and you were to describe it, what would it look like? How would you identify your location? Is it isolated? Is it angry? Is it broken? Is it hopeless? Or is it hopeful? Is it happy? Or is it just appearing, hoping that God would finally meet me because I'm trying to fake my way into feeling it. If we're being honest, we've all been there, we know that address,

we've been in that location, we felt those feelings. You know what I've learned about misery? I want you to write this down. Misery is what happens when your present experience becomes louder than your promised inheritance. Misery is what you do. than your promised inheritance. All while you could be in the presence of God, but if your misery is telling you that you're not gonna make it, you could be surrounded by people that are worshiping Jesus and you could be telling yourself that it's not even worth it because you can't even experience where you are. Why? Because the misery is too loud in your life. And that is exactly what the Holy Spirit is gonna fight through today. He's gonna fight through the sound barrier of that misery that is trying to distract you, that is trying to keep you, that is trying to keep you down. And what I love so much about the story is that exactly where John takes us. This is exactly, this is exactly where we meet this woman. She had five husbands, the one she's currently with, her boyfriend. She's at a well who is living in misery. That's where Jesus shows it.

And the fascinating thing is this, before John tells us about the woman, he tells us where she's standing. He tells us that she is standing at Jacob's well. On the piece of ground, Jacob had given to his son, Joseph. John didn't have to tell us that. He could have simply said Jesus came to a well, but instead he wants us to notice the ground beneath her feet. Think of the irony. She's standing on in inheritance while living in misery. She's standing on in inheritance while living in misery. And that's what misery does. It doesn't actually take God's provision away, but it convinces you to keep living beneath while God has already made available. And that is exactly where Jesus meets her because he wants to let the woman know you have in inheritance. What you are living in right now is not gonna be the sum total of your life. And I just feel to encourage you today, the same way that he showed up for that woman to let her know what it is that he has for her is the same way he's showing up for you today. Saying, I know you feel what you're feeling. I know you're going through what you're going through, but do not dare pay attention to that misery. That misery wants you to settle where you're at. But if you were to really pay attention to where you're at,

you're standing on two feet, you're standing on two legs. You are breath inside of your lungs. That's not just inside of you so that you could live a perpetually bad life. I've given that to you to let you know that I have more for you. The same way that she was standing on inheritance, my brothers and my sisters, you have an inheritance. It's an inheritance of joy. It's an inheritance of favor. It's an inheritance of peace and inheritance of happiness. Why? Because God promises provision, but the kind of provision that we think of, when we think of happiness doesn't equate to what it is that he's talking about. It would be foolishness of us to think that provision was materialistic. When in actuality, real provision is spiritual. It's emotional. It's powerful. It's the joy of the Lord. Living in misery, standing on inheritance. Living in misery, not even realizing that you're standing on blessing. Many of you don't even realize the blessing that's in your life. You're like, God, would you give me blessing? He says, son, daughter, I've already positioned you

in blessing, but because you're distracted, you're missing it and misery will make you miss it. Misery will make you miss it. It will allow you to miss the relationship you have. You don't need another relationship. You don't need another home. You don't need another job. You don't need another thing. What you need is perspective. We need to get your mind renewed. Last week we talked about Joseph, a man that did nothing and yet all hell broke loose against them. He did nothing and all hell broke loose against them. This week I want to talk to you about the woman, like all of us, like Titus says, we've all made mistakes. We made poor decisions. She put herself in this mess. She allowed herself to go from man to man, to man hoping to find the kind of peace that only Jesus got off. You ever been there? I think it's easy to shout to the pastor when we talk about being victimized or people attacking us or hating us, but it's another type of preaching when we say, "No, I did it to myself." Anyone ever admit that? I made a mistake. I shouldn't have said it.

I shouldn't have looked at it. I shouldn't have reached out. I shouldn't have responded. That shouldn't have been my response. I shouldn't have taken that job. I shouldn't have taken that money. I shouldn't have went with them that night. I shouldn't have stood myself home and went to bed. I shouldn't have lied. I shouldn't have sent the text. I shouldn't have opened up the DM. I shouldn't have sent the video. I shouldn't have went on that website. I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have. And we're being honest. We've all been there. We've all made dumb mistakes, silly mistakes, and what we're not gonna do, or the enemy made us do it. There's an enemy that hates you, but if we're being honest, you're the kind of person that could be your own enemy at times. Sometimes Satan doesn't even need a message with you because you do it to yourself. You're going from man to man to man. Forgive me, ladies. You're going from woman to woman to woman to relationship. And you had a prophetic word for every relationship. And then you had a prophetic word for why you left every relationship.

And you had a prophetic word for every job. And then you had a prophetic word why you left every job. It's amazing how God will call you into something. And then two months later, he'll call you out of something, be careful that you don't put God's name on something that he has no business with. Sometimes we do it to ourselves. And he's so good that he says, even there, I'll meet you. Even there, I'll love you, even there, I'll help you because what you don't realize is that decisions you're making, you're making them, but you're making them under a false pretense. You're making them under the assumption that this is now how I have to live. You're making them under the assumption that this is going to bring me happiness. But what I know that you don't know is that that well is going to run you dry. If you keep drinking from that fountain, if you keep drinking from that water, it's never going to quench that thirst. It's only going to leave you thirstier. I find it so ironic that this woman and this man are having this conversation about thirst and she has all these relationships behind her. I just think thirsty people make thirsty decisions. And I think it's easy to blame people while you make those decisions.

But I think if you want to get to experience Jesus for who he really is, you have to be honest that you made those decisions. Because what is he looking for? The worshipers that will worship him in spirit and in sometimes I'm the prompt. Sometimes you're the prompt. Sometimes no one made you do it. You did it because you wanted to. The last time you had the excuse because you were drunk, this time you were sober and you still did it. Don't blame liquor for the life that you keep choosing to live. What I'm saying is we have to level the playing field. We have to come around this conversation honestly and say, "God, I make mistakes when I try to do it without you." Can anyone else attest to that? I will make a mistake when I try to do it without Jesus. Because you know why that's so important? He already knows. Write this down. Your misery isn't a mystery to God. Your misery isn't a mystery to God. He already knows. He's already fully aware. He's aware of who you are, where you've been, what you've done, and the mistakes that you've made. Now imagine this. Him meeting you in the middle of your misery.

I'm guessing if you're like me, that's not how you would want to meet Jesus for the first time. You ever met somebody for the first time and you were really wishing that you were meeting them looking like that? Like you seem like, "Oh my, I can't believe this is now how this moment is about to go down. Go home and do my hair. Brush my teeth. Change. Iron. Smell better." I'll never forget a few years ago, I was in the airport with my wife and children, and we were heading out to vacation, and that morning I woke up pretty late, and if I'm being honest with you, I just want some shorts and a t-shirt. Just thinking I'm going on vacation. I don't really care. It is what it is. And if you're thinking, "Well, that doesn't sound like a bad idea." I'm kind of of the mindset. You dress for vacation when you're on vacation, but when you're on your way to vacation, if you're a man, like dress like a man. And if you disagree with that, that's cool. Maybe you're not a man. But like I do that, just kidding. Just kidding. Whoa, too far, too far.

But there was this guy that I kept hearing about from mutual friends, "I can't wait for you to meet this man." And he's an older man. He's heavily involved in New York City. And I thought, "Yeah, I would love to meet him one day." "Would you know I'm in JFK airport hanging out with my family and writing the delt to lounge, getting our breakfast." I sit down and I'm looking crazy. Honestly, it wasn't a good moment for me. And I look down and I see the man that I've been hearing about. Guess what I didn't do? I didn't introduce myself. But Jesus shows up in the middle of the mess and wants to meet you looking exactly how you look. This is the difference between our preference and Jesus' presence. Jesus' presence doesn't show up because we worshiped correctly, because we put on our Sunday's best. It is in the middle of five failed relationships and now you're with somebody that you have no business being with. In fact, at noon. The reason why that's important is because no one would go to the well at noon because it was the hottest point of the day. If you went to get water from the well, you would go in the morning when it was cool outside. But because this woman hated the decision she made and how everybody was gossiping around her, she didn't want to go when all the other women were going. So she went at noon so that she could hide and Jesus in his goodness meet her at noon. He meets her in the middle of her attempting to hide. And we have to pay attention to this because this right here lets us know exactly who our Jesus is and how he operates. In fact, if you read the scripture, it says that he went through Samaria. First off, most Jews would go around Samaria because of the racial tension that they had. Secondly, he did not have to go through Samaria, but he specifically went through Samaria not because of the scenic route, but because of the person. Because he knew that he would be at a well at midday and there would be a woman that's thirsty. And he'd be able to engage in conversation with him and have a conversation. And I think about if I'm her and I'm realizing that I'm talking to Jesus. I'm trying to fix my hair. I'm trying to get my life together. Because if you're like her, you're probably thinking,

why would this man stick around? The others didn't. Will he accept me? Will he love me? Oh, he walked away from me just like the rest. I better get myself together. See, we think if people knew everything about us, they would leave us. And because we think people would, we assume God will too. But the gospel tells us a different story. God has never loved a version of you. He didn't fully know. God has never loved a version of you that he didn't fully know. He knows every version of you. Every version that you are aware of, that you're embarrassed of, that you don't fully understand. He fully knows it and he fully loves you. Look at Hebrews chapter 4 verse 13. It says, "Nothing and all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him, to whom we must give an account. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess, for we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weakness, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are. Yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." What I love so much about this text is that the writer doesn't say nothing is hidden from God and then leave us there. He says, "Nothing is hidden, therefore, come boldly." He sees everything. Therefore, you could come boldly to him. He sees the five failed marriages. He sees the pouring addiction. He sees the confusion around your sexuality. He sees the addiction to alcohol. He sees the temptation. He sees the problem that you have with deceit or gambling or loneliness, whatever it might be. He sees all of it and he says you could still approach him with boldness, with confidence. You do not have to hide. Why? Because I'm fully aware of all of it. Your misery is not a mystery to go. God has never known a version of you that he didn't fully love. He's loved every part of you, every broken part of you, every confused part of you. And the reason why I'm saying this to you is because until you understand this, you will continue to live a life that you should never live. See, if my misery isn't a mystery to God, then why would I still hide? If your misery isn't a mystery to God, why do you still hide? Why don't you still try to fake it? You know why? Because misery has an accent. That accent is shame. guilt says I did something wrong. Shame says there's something wrong with me. See the difference?

Guilt speaks to behavior. Shame speaks to identity. You are not the sum total of your mistake. Yes, you made a mistake, but if you live under the shame of that mistake, then you're gonna end up looking like the mistake that you've made. Pain becomes disappointment. Disappointment becomes shame. Shame becomes identity and identity becomes isolation. Should I say that again? Pain becomes disappointment. Disappointment becomes shame. Shame becomes identity and identity becomes isolation. And that is exactly what we see at the well. Somewhere along the way, her history became her identity. And this is why she would show up to the well at noon. Trying to hide. Probably because she'd hold herself, she wasn't worthy. Have you ever spoke poorly to yourself? I've learned that when people are oppressed by shame, there's a script that they read. It typically sounds like this, I'm not enough. Maybe I'm too much. People always leave, nobody stays. If they knew the real me, they'd walk away too. This is just who I am. This is who I'll always be. I'll never change, why even hope? Don't trust anyone, don't expect better.

Just survive, just settle, just hide. And I've learned that this script that we know how to repeat over and over, we don't necessarily say it like this, but it happens in random moments where the thoughts are all scattered and we find ourselves and we're trying to, we're trying to enter into a relationship and we think, man, I'm not enough. Or somebody gets overwhelmed with us and we don't even get frustrated that they get overwhelmed. We just start to tell ourselves, I'm too much. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not kind enough. I'm not short enough. I'm not sharp enough. I need to just hide. I'll never change. This is who I am. You know what? They lied to you. They stole from you. Trust no one. And if we don't expose the script, you'll read the scripture and it not renew your mind like it should, because you have a script while God has given you scripture. And until the scripture becomes your script, until the scripture becomes your script, then this script is going to keep narrating your life. And whoever narrates your life will end up leading your life. You ever noticed that about narration? Anybody here enjoy the World Cup?

That's an awkward transition. Go with me. I was watching in the World Cup a few weeks back. And as I was watching it, it was playing in Spanish. Now, here's the funny thing. I don't speak Spanish. My wife is in Spanish. She's Spanish from Columbia. Therefore, I got two Spanish children, but Joe's soy gringo. The funny thing is, even though I don't speak Spanish, I was loving it. The energy impeccable. Every attack felt massive. Every save felt heroic. Every miss shot sounded like the entire nation just had experienced heartbreak. I loved it. The commentators were yelling. Who knows what I'm talking about? Vamos, vamos. Dale, dale. No. Fata. Go. It's amazing. I did not understand the word, but I understood the passion. And then somebody walked into the room as I was watching and they said, why are you watching the game in Spanish?

You know, you can watch it in English. White boy? No, they didn't say that. I thought, fair point. So I switched it. Same game. Same players. Same score. Same field, but immediately, energy felt different. English commentators. Sounds like they were narrating golf. USA coming down the field. They take the shot and they missed. Gold. (audience laughing) I remember thinking, are we watching the same game? Nothing about the game had changed. Only the narration. Nothing about the game had changed. Only the narration. So what did I do? I went back to Spanish. Not because I suddenly understood Spanish, but because I realized something. The voice you listen to changes the experience you have. The voice you listen to changes the experience you have. The voice you listen to will change the experience you have. It is my encouragement today that you could hear me, but it is my prayer that you do not hear Chris, but that you would hear the Holy Spirit.

And the Holy Spirit is saying, son, I love you. Daughter, I love you. I am with you and I am for you. I know you're not happy with your decisions, but I do not treat you as your sins deserve. Your days will get better. Your nights will turn into mourning. That anger will turn into happiness. That depression will eventually cease. I know we're walking through something right now, but I'm walking with you. Keep on going. Keep on going. Keep on going. You got this. I love you. I'm for you. And when you mess up, he doesn't say there you go messing up again. He goes, come on, son. Get back up on your feet. Come on, daughter. Get back up on your feet. Lift up your hands. Turn your eyes to where your help coming from. And look upon the face of Jesus. Look upon the word of God because I am for you. And if I be for you, it doesn't matter who's against you. This has to be the moment that you change your narration.

That you allow the voice of the Lord to lead you. You don't allow your past to lead you. You don't allow your shame to leave you. You don't allow your insecurity to lead you. You did fail. You did mess up. But guess what? Whom the sun sets free is free indeed. God forgives you. He loves you. And he's calling you out. He's not leaving you at the well. He's meeting you at the well. And as he meets you in the well, he walks you to everything it is that he has for you. He says, get ready, son. Get ready, daughter. You're about to drink. You're about to be quenched. You're about to be satisfied in a way that you've only ever dreamt about. But if you keep listening to you, you're going to stay stuck. And you're going to be walking with people that are experiencing the same life, but very differently. He says, I got life. And it's so much better than you could ever think or imagine. You know what the miracle of this story is? It wasn't that Jesus became the loudest voice in her story. It's that his voice was gentle, kind, honest, and inviting. A woman that is literally refusing to have the correct conversation with him.

He stays committed to keep having the conversation. I think the miracle we all need is to stop taking our relationship with Jesus or granted. You want to talk about a mirror? That the worshippers would rise up in spirit and in truth. And they would say, who am I to think that I'm better? Who am I to think that I'm stronger? Who am I to stick my nose down at somebody else? Like if I'm perfect, no, no, no. I've been envious. I've been angry. I've been hated and I've hated people. I've made a mistake after mistake, but this Jesus, he met me and he loves me. And who am I to treat that like it was flipping? I mean, some of you get more excited about meeting another person when all you have is the creator of the universe. And you're ignoring him. You're excited about a person. What about excited about a God? The only God who designed you, who created you, who breathed life inside of you. So I want you to get excited about that because here's what I know. Your misery wants you to hide in plain sight. It wants you to disappear. It wants you to isolate. It wants you to withdraw. It wants you to retract. And that's exactly what this woman does. She hides. Maybe she did it to herself. Or maybe the gossip around the town got so big that they forced her to hide. We don't know. But I'll say this.

You want to talk about community? We're not going to be a community that operates like that. Then when someone messes up, they have to come in the middle of the service. Because you're going to make a slick comment to them if they see you before the service. That's not what we're going to operate. We're not going to be the kind of church that makes people have to operate hoping that they're going to be accepted by the very people that told them that they would love them before them. Just because the optics change, just because the decisions change, that should not change your love for them. This woman was in isolation. She's the victim of abandonment. That's true. You know what psychology teaches us? Take a picture of this if you can put it on the screen. The silent treatment is destructive. Psychiatrists and psychologists talk about it as a form of emotional abuse. Because you're withdrawing your love and punishing somebody with silence. Now, I spoke about this online the other day. People had all these questions. Am I talking about someone that's in abusive relationship? If someone's in abusive relationship, can they withdraw and isolate and give them the silent treatment? Absolutely, if you're in an abusive... or with that said, period, if you get into an argument with someone that is not emotional abuse, if you get in a disagreement with somebody that is not the license to ghost, if you are the kind of person that ghosts somebody because you disagree with them, or you're no longer interested in them, you have growing up to do. Because what you think is self-preservation for somebody else is mental warfare. If you were strong enough to have a conversation with someone, be strong enough to walk away from the relationship, but do it the right way. Hey, the relationship ends here. Well, can I call you tomorrow? Can't call

it tomorrow. The relationship ends here. So you make it clearly how attending. I say this because I get the feeling that this woman, this woman just felt isolated, couldn't keep a husband, probably feels like she's the issue. Then everyone in her town, they're going in the morning, she's waiting for them to leave, she's isolated, she's abandoned. Mentally, it's torment. I just think we have to be far enough as a church, as a community, that we don't operate that way. And we're not the kind of believers that are okay with treating someone that way. Hear me, if something is evil, run. It's physically, emotionally, spiritually abusive, get out of there, leave no note, turn off your location, all of it. But if it's not that, and you just disagree politically, you disagree theologically. The response is not absence. Might be a boundary. See, I think the deepest wounds in our lives were created by the words that were spoken. They were created by the words that never came. The conversation that never happened, the apology that never came through, the affection that was withdrawn, the invitation that never arrived, the text that was never answered. Because sometimes silence becomes punishment. And if you live through it enough of that, your brain starts making a promise. I'll never let myself need people like that again. Can you put this up there for me? I want to show you what abandonment does. Maybe there's a relational room, a wound, you say, I was hurt. As a result of hurt, self-protection, kicks in. I never want to feel that again. Therefore, you expect rejection. You ever met that person, by the way? They ask a question, then they answer their question, expecting for you to give them a sarcastic response. Expect rejection. People always leave. They apologize that they're even in their presence. So what do they do? They expect rejection, therefore, they withdraw. I'll keep my distance. You know what? Hey, you guys go at 7 a.m. I'll go at noon. I know it's hot, but it's easier for me at noon because I'd rather be hot than stare at it. I'd rather be sweating than side-eyed. Therefore, isolation, why? I'm safer by myself. Who here has ever felt safer by themselves, right? I was born alone, died. And that leads us to what a false identity. This is just who I am. And then we mislabel it. Well, I'm just an

introvert. It's not even the right definition. An introvert is somebody that recharges by themselves, not someone that withdraws from society. Very different things. And you'll misdiagnose something to improve a lifestyle that wasn't from God. God calls you into community. If God calls us into community, how would we be okay with ever marginalizing anyway? And I know the Christians that have been saved for a long time, they don't like this, because they're okay with people being included. As long as everyone included believes like them. But who they vote for? But he's standing this issue and And miss me with all of it, all of it. But can we keep walking together? Can we keep challenging one another? Can we keep praying one another? And I'm not talking about silliness. I'm talking about the one that's operating in shape. And sometimes we're so petty that we see people operating in shame, and instead of loving them, we get around them to appear like we're loving them. But really what we want is the tea. Or we want to feel better about ourselves. Because if they're dealing with that, we'll look at them and think, well, at least we're not where they are. I got the sense today, there are people that you're hiding in plain sight. Physically you're present. Emotionally you're absent. Physically you're here, emotionally you're gone. And this is why renewal is so important. The Holy Spirit says I want to renew your mind. I want to renew your mind. I want to meet you where you're at. I want to let you know that even though people failed you, God is not people. And although people failed you, all people are not the same kind of people. He says I'm raising up a church, I'm raising up a remnant, I'm raising up a group of people where community could be safe, and safety is there. Why?

Because the lost are saved and the saved are discipled and the discipled are accountable. Which accountability means that even when they disagree with me, I will submit to the process knowing that what's best for me is in front of me. I think the woman should have went from husband to husband, cold. My goodness, I wish somebody would have showed up and met her. Thank God for Jesus. Because he'll do, but we can't. And he'll do for you what no one else ever could. And when he does, don't be shocked when he turns your misery into ministry. Turn your misery into ministry. What does that mean? It doesn't mean start a TikTok account today. It does not mean get a ring light and a camera and you start a podcast. It means that the very thing that you were suffering, he heals. And because he heals it, you become an advocate for him. Think about this woman's first words to the community she's been hiding from. She's been hiding from them. Midday doesn't want anyone to see her. And she says, "Hey, come meet a man who knows everything about me." Talk about a change of heart. She doesn't say, "Come meet Jesus." She says, "Come meet a man whose name is Jesus and this man." Unlike all the other men, he knows everything about me. And he still loved me and he still chose me. And now I have the freedom to be who I am because here's the thing. Until you admit where you're really at, you'll never be able to work through who you are so that you could become who he has you to be. So praying God, make me into something. He says, "I don't make you into something. I walk you into something. I process you into something. But if you want to get there, you have to admit where you're at.

You want to become pure, admit that you're impure. You want to become whole, admit that you're broken. But stop acting like you have it all together. And what you need is for him to bless you. His blessing looks like healing. Healing happens when you admit what's actually going on. Who needs Jesus to meet you where you're at right now? Lift up your hand. Lift it up, keep it up. Who needs to let go of what you keep returning back to? If that's you, you already have your hand up with your other hand. If that shows you, lift up your hand. Lift it up, keep it up, keep it up, keep it up, all of them. Times it. You got your hand up? Come to the salt. Come on. Now. [BLANK_AUDIO]