Habits We Pretend Aren’t Bad | Romans 2 | Crossroads Daily

For me when I think about respectable sins, I think about the sins that in a weird way, like I wouldn't be scared to admit or like or like the ones where People would be pretty quick to be like, oh, it's not too bad, you know, but Often under the surface like, you know, I could say something like selfishness, right people like oh, it's abstract. It's vague You should easily be like, oh, well, just don't be selfish anymore Or you know, you know say quick prayer and you're good man Like, you know move on and it's like but know where where is that impacting me? Where is that impacting the way I relate to God to other people? This is the crossroads daily. No experts. No perfect people just honest conversations about what happens when the Bible shows up in real life Hey, I'm Chuck, I'm Caroline, I'm Peter I'm Chris Romans chapter 2 In Romans 1, you know if I think about the person who probably feels like there's a spotlight on them in Romans chapter 1 It's probably the person that's like All right. I know I got stuff in my life. That isn't right, you know Yeah, I think Paul is putting a spotlight in Romans 2 on the person who's looking at that person saying yeah, you're right There's stuff in your life. That isn't right. I'm a good. I'm a good church go, right? Like and it reminds me of a quote that I just I love to use it at least once a year So here's my time to use it John Gerstner was a pastor and he said the problem The biggest problem between you and God is not your sin. It's your damnable good works That's good, that's good good stuff right there, right? Good works like we we we work really I mean, it's it's it's part of the Christian I don't know dark side or whatever that you yeah, you get really good at pretending like you're really good And so man, like let's be honest. What are what are the ways we do that? What are the ways that we try to? Show like we're really good or pretend we're really good Like, you know, we're trying to and it's our damnable good works like I think about that. I think about like so many times when I'm in a Spiritual context and people know I'm a pastor How quick I am To do the inner check of like, how's my face? How's my nobody knows? I'm doing that right? How's my face? How's my posture? Am I ready to like people? How you doing Chuck and it's like I feel like I'm great

but you know and I'm not all the time right and sometimes like the person that the counter pissed me off and I'm mad like I but I there's this like constant like oh, but somebody's watching I gotta be and I just man. I know there's a part of that. That is me trying to act like something I'm not and it doesn't honor God and it doesn't let me live in freedom. So that's that's mine I know that's real for me. Mm-hmm. I mean, I don't know. I feel like I could just there's so many things I could Oh my gosh, I think at it this shows me a lot at work in various ways for sure there's there's a Sense of oh I need to like present as busy because busy equals productive or busy equals valuable or busy equals Contributor and I want to be seen as all those things So even if you know, that means I'm gonna say something in a meeting that's not really helpful But I want to make sure someone heard my voice like, you know, I got to constantly be checking myself That's real on that level and then on top of that then I'm also then reflecting that back to other people yeah, and I might be judging them or their intentions or I might be and and The scary thing about judging people which Paul talks a lot right in here, right is it masquerades other things? It's like I'm being wise. I'm being perceptive. I'm being we'll put a name on it That's positive. But really what we're doing is we're judging people and I have to cut that's another constant heart check of like Because there's a pride and oh, I'm just being perceptive I can see what they were thinking when they said that like how much I can't I can't like read their mind But I'm pretending that I can in my own head right and then I and then I write a story about them Mmm, and then I keep adding that story and that story then contextualizes my relationship with them in the future, right? Cuz like that's how we make sense of the world as we write stories. And so what kind of story am I writing? Whoo, you know like so that's the that's my like initial like gut Check reaction to this and something that God's been working on me recently. That's powerful, man We write stories about people based on our judgment. What's the story? I'm writing Wow, and you could also self-judgment What story writing about yourself? Sure. You should turn that inward to I mean so you can go outward inward both ways We're often very hard on ourselves, too Yeah, and then that keeps us from being authentic that keeps us from sharing So let me ask you this cuz I would say that there are and I don't know the right term for it Then there's a book about this. I can't remember the name, but I think it's like acceptable sins or like

Okay, yes give like a snippet of what that is and then I thought it'd be like let's just popcorn What are some respectable sins? Yeah, so respectable sins I feel like when I was reading it's basically talking about the things that we kind of overlook as in our life and our willingness to not hold the mirror up to our own sin, but because they're like the more respectable thing, for example, like pride or how you appear or casting judgment on others, but not actually sitting in your own sin and the calling on your life to be set apart. He talks a lot about being a saint or being set apart in Christ. Like Jesus has put a calling on you, and when we neglect that calling for the sake of small sins, because they're not as big of a deal, like we're actually rejecting a calling over our life. And it's a really dangerous place to be. And then he kind of talks more about him, but yeah. That's good. All right. So what are some of our respectable sins? For me, when I think about respectable sins, I think about the sins that in a weird way, like I wouldn't be scared to admit, or like the ones where people would be pretty quick to be like, oh, that's not too bad, you know? But often under the surface, like, you know, I can say something like selfishness, right? People are like, oh, it's because it's abstract. It's vague. You can easily be like, oh, well, just don't be selfish anymore, or, you know, say a quick prayer and you're good, man, like, you know, move on. And it's like, but no, where is that impacting me? Where is that impacting the way I relate to God, to other people? And I'd be so comfortable saying that out loud. And it's like, versus like, we think of the unrespectable sins as the ones, oh, I got to say it out loud.

That's got to stay over there, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could list a lot. I could list pride and wanting to make sure things go my way because I think something is right. I would throw a respectable sin out there. One that we don't often talk about, but I do believe is vanity. Like there are times where, you know, I enjoy getting dressed each day and I care what I look like, but there have been seasons of my life where I have cared way too much, where I have cared way too much about what other people are going to think about my appearance and it becomes a more consuming thing. And I've had to temper my use of social media or, you know, who I follow because it was just feeding that more and more. And that would feed my consumerism and it would feed, it would just, you know, some of these respectable sins, because they're respectable, we can wear on our sleeve and no one will know. So those are a couple of mine for sure. Greed is another one of mine. And it's crazy cousin stinginess. Yes. Stingy. I used to think I'm not stingy. I'm so generous. And then I got married and I realized how stingy I can be about things that I say are mine, mine, mine, right? So man, I can be stingy sometimes. And yeah, again, that's, I say it out loud, but that's a sin. That's a sin.

That's not trusting God. That's making myself the center instead of, you know, what God, you know, not being a good story. There's lots in there. And where do we as a community of believers have a duty to not let those things pass? Yeah. Bring those up too. Like I've even been feeling convicted like, oh, I, friends have talked to me about stuff and I didn't say anything. I'm their friend. I didn't say anything. I let it pass. We should treat them with the same level of like kind of soberness, you know. And the respectable sins, I would also add those sins oftentimes masquerade as good works. So it goes back to the quote that you started with. So I can serve someone else and still be in sin because I did it because I want someone to see me doing something good and not because I am loving and genuinely caring for that person as an image bearer of Christ. And so nobody's going to know that you're in that sin unless you tell them. And you have to have trusted community enough to say, know me and know my heart that what I did just looked good, but actually it wasn't. And I need to tell someone that so that I don't keep doing it. Like that is to be known, especially in these respectable sins, if we're talking about the people that Paul was talking to who were maybe in the second camp of, well, they do this, but I would never. And you're confronting that stuff. You've got it. The only way for other people to know is for you to tell them. That's good. That's good.

The most vulnerable thing I've ever done with another person in the guise of spiritual growth has not been recovery and all the things that you've confessed there. It's been showing a buddy of mine, my family budget, and actually using the real numbers. Dude, like, wait, did you create fake budgets? No. I was like, the real thing is like, but like, again, there's a pride in the, in, for me, that was just like that stinginess, that control, like, man. So I mean, now here's the beautiful thing about this. And then I want us to talk about just some practices that help us. There's again, in all of these, there's amazing, just good news truths. One of the ones in this one that I think is so important for this is like, you know how God deals with our respectable sins. You know how he deals with the ways that we act like we're good and we're not in kindness. I love that word. It is his kindness that leads us to repentance. Like that's the gift that Paul says is available for us. So what are some practices that keep you connected to God's kindness that leads to repentance? Whether it's a big sin, what we wouldn't call a respectable sin or a respectable sin, what are some practices that just keep you in a place of receiving that kindness? I mean a big one is confession. I mean Paul talks about it. It's important. And having people in my life that I trust that... Confession also doesn't mean that you have to stand up on stage every week and confess every sin. Like that's also unhealthy. But like having some trusted people with the big, the quote-unquote small, the things that are insidious and also people that will not... I purposely surround myself with people who don't let me kind of rationalize my way out of stuff, who have differing opinions than me, who will like talk to me like, hey, I actually don't agree. I don't think that's okay. You know, like they're gonna like push back and I need that too. And so just people that I can confess to in that way because... And confession also isn't just about sin.

Confession is just... It means to be known. And so people that really know you and then letting them continue to know you and not just know you at a moment in time, but know you across time. Love that. One I really have had to grow in over the years is confession and being known without justifications and caveats. And like exactly what you're saying, Peter, of like, I would say something to like maybe a roommate, be like, hey, I need to confess this. And then it would launch into a 15-minute spiel of why exactly, why it happened, how it happened, what I'm gonna do next time to prevent it, X, Y, and Z. And I just remember one time a buddy being like, why do you do that? Like, he's like, this is exhausting. And I'm like, I... That's a good friend actually. I was like, you're right, I'm tired too. But it's believing that like, well, God will forgive me if I understand every reason behind it. And it's like, it is the blood that covers me, not my understanding of everything about it that covers me. A hundred percent. There's been a lot of freedom in just being like, you know, and it's good to be discerning and know the whys, but like, just be like, here's where I failed. And having someone look at you and be like, and you're forgiven and you're loved. So yeah, I love it. I love it. Yeah, the through line in a lot of these practices is community. Like, this is why we need a body, right? This is when I say a body, we need the community of believers. There are some aspects of God's grace I cannot experience unless I make myself vulnerable with you guys, you know,

or whatever, wherever space you're in, wherever you have that community. So man, I think confession, I love what you said. Confession is to be known. Maybe that's something for you to think about today is where is the place where you may need to have more courage to be known in a place that makes sense, psychologically safe. I'm not saying don't go on a stage and tell a whole bunch of people about your sin. That's not what I'm saying. But there's maybe someone in your life that knows you at this level, but they'd actually receive you if you wanted to invite them into something deeper. So think about how you might do that today.