Freedom Study - Week 3

I'm Pastor Kate, and today I have the pleasure of teaching with my good friend, Pastor Ju. You know, we've been talking about how to break free from the sins we can't leave. Last week, Pastor Julie taught us about how God wants us to run to Him when we sin, rather than run from Him. And today, we're gonna talk about how to run from sin. So, Pastor Julie, I'm so glad that you're here with us today. I'm so glad that you're here with us today. I'm so glad that you're here with us today. I'm so glad that you're here with us today. This week, we're gonna talk about the power of confession. This week, we're gonna talk about the power of confession. Yeah, that's right, Kate. And you know, not too long ago, I had the opportunity to confess something. My wife, Kathy, my son, Jacob, and I, we all love ice cream. We love it so much that we don't buy it very often, because if we did, we'd probably eat so much of it, we'd make ourselves sick. But every once in a while, we'll have a birthday or something, and I'll say, why don't we go celebrate by going to the grocery store, and each of us can get a tub of our favorite ice cream. I usually get chocolate. My wife, Kathy, always gets the same flavor, chocolate chip cookie dough. Kathy loves chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. She loves it so much that it's like Genesis 2.

Whenever there's ice cream in the freezer, there is one rule in our house that everybody knows. You remember the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden? You are free to eat any other ice cream in the freezer, but you may not eat Kathy's chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, for if you eat Kathy's chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, you shall surely die, right? And then came the fall. One night, Kathy went into the freezer looking for her chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and it was gone. And Kathy knew exactly who the culprit was, our son, Jacob. Kathy called Jacob out to the kitchen and gave him the opportunity to confess. Again and again, she gave him the opportunity to confess, but Jacob never did. And I knew he wouldn't. You know why? Because I was the one who ate Kathy's chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. What can I say? I'm a sinner, but at least I'm confessing. Well, Pastor Drew, the truth is we're actually all sinners. And we've all done things worse than taking chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. That is very true, although that was tasty, I'm sure. But Paul tells us in Romans that we are all sinners and we've fallen short.

But wait, there is good news, and that is the good news of the gospel. God loves us, and as Christ followers, He's already forgiven us of our sin. And so you might be wondering right now, though, if God loves us and has already forgiven us of our sin, then why do we need to confess? Can I tell you? Because confession isn't something that God has us do because He needs it. God does not clutch tightly to His forgiveness. Rather, confession is something God has us do because we need it. In order to find freedom in Christ, we need to confess. Yeah, that's right, Kate. And when I think about confession, I often think of King David in the Old Testament. 1 Samuel 13, 14 tells us that David was a man after God's own heart. He was Israel's greatest king, but he was also a polygamist. The dude had eight wives. He was a terrible father. He coveted another man's, Uriah the Hittite's, wife Bathsheba. He committed adultery with her. He attempted to deceive Uriah. He eventually had him murdered. He lied about the whole affair. He covered up his sin for a year. So to review, David was a liar, an adulterer,

a covetor, and a murderer. And during the year that he covered up his sin, he had the worst year of his life. David said in Psalm 32, 34, he said, when I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away and I groaned all day long. Day and night, your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. He added in Psalm 38, 4 through 8, he says, my guilt overwhelms me. It is a burden too heavy to bear. My wounds fester and stink because of my foolish sins. I am bent over and racked with pain. All day long, I walk around filled with grief. A raging fever burns within me and my health is broken. I'm exhausted and completely crushed. My groans come from an anguished heart. See, David is so overwhelmed with guilt that it actually affected his health. But after a year, David confessed and asked God to forgive him, which of course he did. David wrote, Psalm 32, verse 5, finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, I will confess my rebellion to the Lord and you forgave me. All my guilt is gone. Again, confession is not something God has us do because he needs it. Confession is something God has us do because we need it.

Recently, my son, Jacob, got a splinter in his finger and I used tweezers to try to get it out, but this sucker was in there really deep. And after working on it for a few minutes, I said, sorry, buddy. It looked. It's like we're just gonna have to leave it in and kind of let it come out on its own. Unfortunately, it didn't come out on its own. The wound got infected and it became an even bigger problem. Unconfessed sin in our lives, it's like a splinter. The best thing to do is to get it out. Otherwise, the wound can get infected and healing and freedom can't begin until the splinter is out, until you confess. Sure, it hurts, but over time, ignoring the splinter causes even deeper pain. You know, Pastor Drew, that's such a great illustration. And in scripture, King David also shows us how to confess and it's where we see our four steps to a great confession. That first step is to search your heart. Start by asking, is there any sin in my life? Usually, when I do this, I can think of one or two right away. Another great thing to do is ask Holy Spirit to reveal your sin to you. You know, David prayed in Psalm 139, 23 through 24, search me, oh God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Yeah, it's so good. And the second step is to accept responsibility. You know, David covered up his sin for a year. It wasn't until God revealed his sin to Nathan and Nathan confronted him that David took responsibility for what he'd done. But ultimately, he did take responsibility. David writes in Psalm 51, three, for I recognize my sin. It haunts me day and night. You've gotta take responsibility for your sin. Don't justify it, don't excuse it, don't blame someone else. And the third step is to confess to God. When he was confronted, David confessed his sin to God. We can read this confession in Psalm 51, verses one through 12. He says, have mercy on me, oh God, because of your unfailing love, because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt, purify me from my sin, for I recognize my rebellion. It haunts me day and night. Against you and you alone I have sinned. I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right when you say, and your judgment against me is just. For I was born a sinner, yes,

from the moment my mother conceived me. But you desire honesty from the womb, teaching me wisdom even there. Purify me from my sins and I will be clean. Wash me and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again. You have broken me, now let me rejoice. Don't keep looking at my sins, remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, oh God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence. Do not take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and make me willing to obey you. Again, David was overwhelmed by guilt. And you know, we ought to feel some guilt and sorrow or remorse when we sin. We often quote James 4, 8, which says, draw near to God and he will draw near to you. But the verse continues by saying, when you sin, let there be tears of what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter and gloom instead of joy. In 2 Corinthians 7, 11, Paul makes a distinction between two kinds of sorrow. There's godly sorrow, which is what we should feel when we sin, and the other kind is worldly sorrow, which is destructive. Paul is saying, don't beat yourself up,

but also don't let yourself off the hook. Again, David confessed and asked God to forgive him, which again, of course, is what he did. David says in Psalm 51, 17, a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Oh God, you will never despise. 1 John 1, 8 through 9 says, if we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us of our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Come on, you can't get a better promise than that. Amen, that is so true, Kate. And the fourth step is to confess to someone else. We also need to confess to another person. David confessed to Nathan. In 2 Samuel 12, 13, we read, then David confessed to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan replied, yes, but the Lord has forgiven you and has taken away your sin. Why can't we just confess to God, right? Because when we confess to God, we're forgiven, but we don't get healed until we confess our sin to someone else. James 5, 16 says, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. See, one reason we need to confess to another person is our tendency to say,

if they really knew the truth about me, they wouldn't love me. And so our sin, it stays secret and it keeps its hold and its power over us, leaving us in bondage. You know, here at Christ Fellowship, we have an awesome ministry some of you should check out. It's called Celebrate Recovery. And it's not just for people who struggle with drug and alcohol addiction. It's for any person who struggles with any kind of hurt, habit, or hangup. And that is all of us. Yeah, that's right. And at Celebrate Recovery, there's something we say all the time. We say, you're only as sick as your secrets. You're only as sick as your secrets. And then we say, but revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. And I remember the first time I confessed my sin to somebody else. It was a really hard thing to do because I'd never done it before. And I was afraid that the person I was confessing to might judge or reject me. But much to my surprise, that's not at all what my friend did. And I'll never forget what he said to me after I confessed.

He said, Jesus died for those sins and he still loves you. And then he said, Drew, I still love you too. In fact, I've never loved you more than I do right now. Oh my goodness. I can't tell you how badly I needed to hear those words. And then my friend surprised me. He said, you want to know what my sins are? And he confessed his sins to me. See, I was afraid that he might reject me, that my sin might drive him away. But exactly the opposite happened. My confession to him actually brought us closer together and I experienced healing and freedom. You see, sometimes my head knows that God has forgiven me, but my heart isn't so sure. And in order to experience healing and freedom, I needed to hear someone else say, God forgives you. There's nothing more freeing than confessing to someone else and having them react as God does, not with shock or horror, but with grace. And when that happens, we experience Romans 8.1. So now, there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. Now, there may be a couple of tips when confessing to someone else. First, find someone you trust, someone of the same gender to confess to. Maybe it's somebody in your freedom group. Second, be as honest and open as you can be. Again, at Celebrate Recovery,

we often say you're only as sick as your secrets. Another thing we say is the secret you want to conceal is the very one you need to reveal. Every once in a while, someone will come to me, Pastor Kate, they'll come to us at church and they'll say, Pastor, I want to confess something to you that I haven't told anyone else about in my entire life. And when that happens, we get really excited. You know why? Because somebody is about to find freedom. Third, ask for accountability. Ask if you can call the person you're confessing to the next time you're struggling with that sin. You know, Kate, I was struggling with some sin not too long ago and I needed to confess to my accountability partner. I know, newsflash, pastors sin too. Yes, we do. But I was struggling with temptation and I have this friend who's my accountability partner and one day over lunch, I confessed this temptation to him and asked if I could call him the next time I was struggling and he said yes and so a few days later, I gave him a call. And he shared some scripture with me and he prayed for me over the phone and then he told me that he was gonna check in first thing the next morning to see how I did with that temptation. Can I tell you, as soon as I got off the phone, the temptation was gone.

Why? I'd like to say it was because I'm so spiritual but the truth is, there was no way I was gonna see this guy the next morning and have to tell him that I sinned. You know, you are so right, Pastor Drew. Having an accountability partner is so powerful and it's not just when we're dealing with sin, it's when we're dealing with any type of struggle in life. Like Pastor Drew just said, all of us have hurts, habits, and hangups and our temptation, when we struggle with any one of those things, whether it's sinful or not, is to try to keep it a secret when the very thing we need to do is confess it to someone else so that we can be healed and free. Can I be honest with you about a time when I did this, when I had to put into practice all of the very things that we're talking about? Well, about 10 years ago, I got really sick. My body began to shut down on me and I found myself in a hospital bed for a week with a feeding tube. By the time I ended up in the hospital, my relationship with food and eating, along with my body image, got completely and totally warped. All of a sudden, I found myself not wanting to eat, not because my body couldn't handle it anymore, but because I was so afraid of putting on weight. Even though I knew it was necessary for my health,

I got really comfortable in my dysfunction. Although my body did begin to heal over time, my mind, it did not. And here is where I want to be completely. honest with all of you. I hid it and I lied about it for years. Not only did I lie to myself, but I lied to everyone in my life, especially those who were closest to me. You know, I would try to will myself to change. I would even ask God for change, but I remained in bondage. And it wasn't until you guessed that I confessed what I was hiding and how I was struggling that I experienced the freedom and remain free from an eating disorder. Now, let me tell you, it was a journey to get here, but can I also tell you through the power of confession and accountability, today I walk in freedom. Now, don't forget the enemy comes to seek, kill, and destroy, and you better believe he still tries with me. But when he does, I confess my temptation to my accountability partners so that I can continue to fight for and walk in freedom. Again, confession isn't something God has us do because He needs it. Confession is something God has us do because we need it. Those are the four steps to a great confession. That's so good, Kate. Can I give you like a fifth step? Bonus step. Let's go. Let's go. Some extra credit, right? Here's the fifth step. Confess to the person you sinned against. Now, I'm not proud of this, but since we're being open and honest, I remember a time where my son Jacob was like seven or eight years old, and he did something, and I got upset, and I overreacted. I got angry, and I yelled at him a little bit. I could tell that it made him sad. And later that night, after Jacob went to bed, Holy Spirit said, Drew, you need to confess to Jacob and make things right. I said, you mean apologize, right? He said, no, no. You need to confess to Jacob and make things right. I remember thinking, oh, come on. Like, I'm his father. I don't want to do that, right? I don't want to confess to my son. Isn't it enough that I confess my sins to you, God? But Holy Spirit wouldn't let me off the hook. And so the next morning, I went and I confessed to Jacob. Can I tell you, sometimes it feels like I've had more parenting fails than wins, but that might have been my finest hour as a parent, because Jacob saw his dad model confession. He still remembers it to this day. He saw his dad model what it's like to sin, to blow it, because we all blow it, and then to come clean. And over the years, he's gotten pretty good at confessing stuff himself. Listen, we know that what we're talking about, it isn't easy. It's really hard. It's having the

conversation with your son. It's making the call you dread making. It's setting up the appointment you know will be awkward. It's writing the letter you should have written years ago. It's really hard, but it's powerful. You know why? Because when you take this extra step, something remarkable happens. It changes you. You never want to commit that sin again. If you force yourself to confess to your son that you did something you shouldn't have done, you probably aren't going to do it again. Not if it means having to confess that thing a second time. If you muster the courage to confess to a friend that you revealed something they shared with you in confidence, chances are you'll never do it again. Not if it means having to confess it again. If you confess to your wife that you let your son take the fall for eating her chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, it'll probably be the last time you do it. Trust me, I know from personal experience. Seriously, this extra step is a huge part of how we break free from the sins we can't leave. Confessing to God is good. Confessing to someone else is great, but confessing to the person I actually sinned against, that changes me, and I never want to commit that sin again. Wow, that's so good, Pastor Drew. Thank you for that fifth extra step. You know, as we wrap up this session, I want to challenge you to put into practice what we've been talking about. Let me leave you with this. If you really want to understand the power of confession, turn it around. Put yourself on the receiving end. Think about it for just a moment. Whose apology do you most desire and least expect? Who is it that seems to be completely insensitive to the pain or hurt that they've caused you? Imagine how you would feel if you got a surprise visit from that person. How would you feel if that person walked in, sat down, and confessed everything they had ever done to you? My guess is that would probably have a pretty powerful impact on you. It would probably lead to some freedom in your life and also probably lead to some freedom in their life as well. That, my friends, is the power of confession, and that's what we want for you. So here's your homework assignment this week. Ask yourself, what do I need to confess. And then go ahead and write down whatever it is in your workbook. And then I want you to ask yourself, who do I need to confess to? It's great to write it down, but don't stop there.

Actually go ahead and do it. There is freedom waiting for you. Hey, we love you and we're praying for you. Now go have a great time in your groups.