Episode 051 || Finding Jesus at Rock Bottom

- Well, hey there, Pando family. Welcome to the SE Online Pando Exclusive Podcast. If you have never joined us before, this is a time every week where we want to step back and look at the weekend message. Kind of talk about how it applies, how you can live it out through the rest of your life during the week. So we're just glad each and every week that you all take the time to join us to spend some time walking through the text with us, thinking about the sermon. And just know that wherever you are, like we love hearing your stories, we love that we get to spend this time with you all. So in the video description down below, you'll find the church address, the SE Online address. We'd love to have you write in, share your story, share some ways that we can be praying for you because this isn't just a conversation between us. We want to invite you into that so that we can get to know, you get to know how we can be praying for you in these days and weeks ahead. If we haven't met before, my name is Brandon. I'm part of the SE Online team. And I'm not alone today. I have a new face with me. We got Cole joining us today from our SE Recovery Ministry. How's it going today, brother?

- It's going good. - Very cool. - We're glad you're joining us. So Cole, since you knew we kind of have everybody who joins us, kind of introduce themselves. Let us know a little bit about their story and how they came to know to Jesus, what they do on staff now. So let's start with the first thing. Just kind of let us know a little bit about yourself. - So I started out, life was really good. Up through my childhood years and say around 12, my mother and father split up. And they both, while separated, we're working two jobs. So I had a whole lot of time on my own. And so I found family in the streets. And that's kind of where my journey started to go south. And I ran the streets and did a whole lot of things throughout my addiction. And then I came to a day where I was in the truck that I was living in, completely broken and struggling. And for the first time, I prayed a heartfelt prayer to help me change what was broken inside of me. And in that day, that is when I feel I met Jesus. - Yeah. - How old were you when this happened? - I was 43. - 43, okay. - It was a long road of addiction, in and out of jails, prisons,

different things, like a street life. You know, and since that day, you know, I was so scared of what this side of life looked like. And that kept me in my addiction for a long time, if that makes sense. And it was really fear. You know, fear was just, I was fear driven. I didn't know what the other side of this was gonna look like, man, I didn't know what a walk with Jesus was gonna look like for sure, you know. And you know, on that day, I feel like I fully surrendered that day. - Yeah. - And when I did, I feel, he picked me up and carried me into recovery and gave me a process to change my life. And you know, the 12 step program that I work, allowed me to find a guy to my understanding, spiritual pathway. Something that we do here at Southeast is something that helped me identify who that was. If that makes sense. - Yeah, yeah. - And it's kind of been my walk so far, you know. - Yeah, well, very cool, man, right? So when you, you talked a little bit about just that fear of not knowing what's on the other side or what life could be on the other side. If you just speak about that a little more,

maybe just some people in our panda audience who are facing that same fear. What would you say to someone on the other side of that? - Well, so living that life, that lifestyle, not only in addiction, but living that lifestyle, I thought that was all I was ever gonna be. I couldn't, you know, this is all I know. This is all I know I'm gonna be able to do from here on out, like this is me. - Yeah. - And, you know, that's a struggle, you know? I mean, especially at 43 years old, you don't think you can turn life around, you know what I mean? You're like, oh, this is the best it's gonna get, you know? - Right, yeah, yeah. - And can't teach an old dog new truth. - Yeah, yeah, absolutely, you know, my disease centers in my, in my mind. And with that being said, I constantly tell myself, I can't do something. Does that make sense? Yeah. And, you know, that, uh, that's a struggle for, for any, anybody that struggles with addiction, like, like I have anyway, I, and, uh, and it's, it's a rough road. You know, I mean, you know, it wasn't until I was completely broken. Spiritually, right? Didn't even know. Like I said, I, two and a half years ago, well, closer, three years ago, I did not believe at all. If I couldn't see, feel or touch it, it wasn't real. You know, and, um, how I met Jesus was in my, in my darkest moment. Yeah. You know what I mean? And, and that's, uh, that's kind of where that road led me. You know what I mean? And, and it wasn't until I gave up absolutely that I found a better way of living. Yeah. You know, and I tell you, three years ago, I didn't think I'd be sitting in here doing a podcast with you. I can tell you

that much. You know, I don't know where life is going from here, but I knew I didn't want to live the life that I was living anymore. Oh, it's, I mean, I, that's great to hear how you describe that, that Jesus just kind of takes you at that moment. And it's like, you, you don't have to be afraid of what's on the other side. You just got to trust me and walk through it and see where it leads you. Yes. So you're, you're with us now in, uh, in SC recovery. So kind of talk a little bit about what you do with, with the recovery. And, um, yeah, what, what encourages you the most about being a part of that ministry? Um, Honestly, I would say getting to see the light come on in the newcomers that I go into these different facilities, uh, people that are just like I am, uh, you know, or just like I was, uh, and going in there and sharing my story with them and helping them identify that we are not alone. Yeah. You know what I mean, that, that we can do this together as, as a group, you know, I don't know if, uh, I know I couldn't do this on my own. Yeah. You know what I mean? And, uh, I know that we're, it says in the Bible where two or three are gathered in my name. I'm in the midst. Yeah. So, and being able to go in and share my, my walk with other people that are struggling with addiction, just like I have, and, and being the light for them to know that there's a better way of living is, uh, it's powerful. Um, there's real, you know, it's really powerful. And that's what I get to do, man. I get to go on to several different facilities and, you know, I get to know people, man. Um, if you ask me, uh, life is all about relationships, you know, uh, and active addiction, we recluse and we, we draw back from everything and anything that is good for us. If that makes sense. So, you know, in the opposite of addiction would be connection. So in community, right? So the more I stay connected to people around me, man, it just works out better. You know what I mean? Oh, that's great. So do you have any, do you have, uh, particular centers that you're involved with? You just kind of go all over or, um, I am, I am with, uh, recovery now and, uh, the Isaiah house. I go to those facilities, which Isaiah house, we go to three different

facilities. Okay. Which is, which is pretty cool. And we, we do spiritual pathway there, and we also bring services in there. And, uh, that's, that's also really good, man. Uh, I don't know, man, but I know cows messes 90, 90% of the time I find my recovery in it, if that makes sense. You know, and it's, it's, you know, I've tried going to church before. I've tried, uh, you know, finding that spiritual connection, um, before recovery. And, um, I have to say I was blocked off. I wanted it. I wanted to have that connection, but whenever I went to church and went to these things, I was seeking out the solution. I just didn't, I was blocked off because I was always putting it, you know, putting something in my body to change the way I felt. And therefore, it blocked me off from the sunlight of the spirit. You know, and I know today, man, clean this over sitting in front of you today. I know for a fact, man, I have something. And, uh, I just want to continue to walk this walk. Oh, man, that's amazing. That's amazing. Thank you for sharing that, that part. So I know you said, uh, this past weekend, you were able to, to speak in some of the centers and deliver the message. So I think you said x chapter nine talking through the, the conversion of Saul and, and how he met, uh, Jesus on the road to Damascus. How, how did you, how did you preach through that? How did you see your own story in that story of, of how Saul had that encounter? Yeah. So that, that encounter that Saul had on the road to Damascus, for me was that moment of desperation. Um, you know, when, I mean, you can only, sight. You know, like, I don't know, maybe, maybe just me, but, you know, I, I related that gift of desperation to that moment when he lost his sight. And then also related when Ananias laid hands on him as being my today sponsor, which, which helped me open my spiritual eye and work the 12 steps and got me connected to a fellowship of people that were centered around this recovery thing. And, you know, and the good news is, man, doing that led me to be connected with you guys, and I think that's awesome. Yeah, that's so great. So if I know that, you know, we, we reach into our Pando family and all different locations, all different situations across the country, and I'm sure there's some people who are saying, you know, it's great. Like, they want to have that community. They want to have people around them who can help encouraging them in their faith. How, how would you encourage them? How would you challenge them to be able to find that

where they're at? Um, I would say, um, so SC recovery is, is launching a new thing called the open seat. Uh, you can, uh, you can find it on the, uh, the app, uh, SC recovery app. Okay. Um, and that's a good way to get connected to, you know, SC recovery for sure, uh, spiritual pathway classes. Um, you know, definitely if, if, if that's offered in the facility you're in, I would highly suggest, uh, getting involved. Um, and not only that, man, when, when you get out for this, for me, getting out of prison wasn't enough. If that makes sense, you know, it wasn't enough to that I was in this situation, right? To keep me from doing, going back to my old ways. It was, you know, but once I last on to something other than what I've always done, and I, and I found that in the fellowships and, you know, in church, you know, um, like I said, I, I tried so long to find the connection. And I just never could. And, uh, you know, it's, it's all about the community you surround yourself with. If I surround myself with street people, I'm going to be in the streets. If I surround myself with, you know, people that are doing the right things, and I'm most likely going to do the right things. So, you know, that's, uh, that's definitely, uh, the way to go. Um, you know, I can relate to a lot of the, uh, the listeners to this, uh, podcast and that are viewing this cause it was, it was just six years ago, I was sitting in prison doing the same thing, you know, watching pando and, and doing those things and, you know, not knowing what life was going to bring next, you know, or when the, you know, counting down days and, you know, all the good stuff that, you know, not good stuff, bad stuff. I don't know, you know, you know, amen. And, uh, you know, today, uh, like it's just, it's just different. And, um, I know that's only about the grace of God, man, that I get to be doing this today instead of, you know, what we know and we would be doing. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. For sure. Well, Pando family, we want to remind you that the spiritual pathways, uh, course is on the Pando app that you can join in that the PDFs are on there that you read through it. You can watch the

videos. You can invite someone to be a part of that with you. Uh, but be sure to hop in and be a part of that. I know that's been such a great resource that you guys have had success with, you know, in the centers, but also a lot of, uh, we've had a lot of Pando viewers right into us and say how meaningful that process has been. Can you, can you speak a little for those who are unfamiliar about what the spiritual pathways process is, how that, how that's kind of structured out? So the spiritual pathway is a curriculum to help you connect with Jesus part of your long-term recovery. Okay. Uh, it's kind of like a 12 step program. Um, yeah, it kind of, uh, connects the 12 steps and your walk with Jesus together. Um, and that's, that's really, um, I have to say, so working that, that program, uh, the spiritual pathway program led me to, to this, if that makes sense. So I was, as service work, I got involved with spiritual pathway. I actually went through the, the lessons and, uh, you know, found my connection and, you know, I found something that I really wanted to be a part of and then, and it just, it worked out by getting connected and staying connected to that spiritual pathway. I get to go into these facilities and teach this spiritual pathway now. You know, and I just, I just think that's awesome. And, uh, I think that could definitely be a hope shot for some, some of our viewers watching this, you know, and I really do. Yeah. Well, I, I appreciate it. and to comfort and encourage people who are dealing with those same things. There's a passage, I think it's in 2nd Corinthians where Paul talks about the God comforts us so that we can comfort others with what we've been given. And I see that in you of being able to reach back in and saying like, "Hey guys, I've been here. "This is how Jesus is calling you out of this. "This is what you can invest in to make that happen." And I think that's just such a powerful testimony to not only how he's working in you, but the hard he's given you to wanna see that in others. - Yes, absolutely.

You know, it's, service is a big part of my day. You know, just being of service has really gave me a purpose, and I'm grateful for that, you know, helping other people, you know, somebody took time to help me. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? It would only be right for me to carry that onto someone else. - Yeah. - And at the end of the day, it's if you ask me, it all comes from him, so, you know. - Yeah, absolutely, a hundred percent. So as part of our series, we've been in the past couple of weeks walking through this series called "Flip It," where we're in Matthew chapter five, talking about the Beatitudes and walking through these statements Jesus talks about what it means to be a part of his kingdom. And I don't wanna read those, and then we'll hone in on the two that Lucas talks about this week. But the Beatitudes, it's in Matthew chapter five, it begins in verse three, and there's Jesus speaking. He said, God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth. God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied. And God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy. God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. And God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs. And they're just such powerful statements. You could spend days unpacking each one, but we have two that Lucas talked about this week. That God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy. And God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. Call us as you hear those two Beatitudes. Like, what stands out to you? What's your response to those? - So I am clean and sober by the grace of God and His mercy. And carrying that on to others is a big deal for me. You know, this week's been a really rough week for me. So I had a fender bender after service on Thursday night, right? - Oh gosh, yeah. And so I took my car to the repair shop to get fixed, and someone broke in and stole my car. - Oh man.

- Yeah, so, but I'll tell you this. I'm grateful for the mercy God shows me so I can be merciful to others. And the reason I say that is, that could have been me doing that to someone else. - Yeah. - You know, in the streets and on that road, you're not subject to not do those things. - Right. - You know, and for me, the mercy is, you know, instead of getting upset about the situation, I pray for those people that did that. - Yeah. - And I hope that Jesus finds them and I hope they turn their life around. - Yeah. - You know. - You know, I love that 'cause I think it paints such a picture of what we're talking about. You know, you read that first line that God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy, and you think, oh, does that mean that I'm earning mercy by being merciful to others? And that's, I don't think that's what Jesus is saying. I think what he's saying is like once you understand, like, hey, this is the mercy I've been given, then it becomes easier for us to say like, oh man, like whatever anyone has done to me, it doesn't compare to what I've done to Jesus

or how I've, you know, how I've failed him or fallen short, like the mercy I've been given, I can never give more mercy than I've been given. - Yes, yes. - So I know that, you know, as we've read some of our panda letters, as we've connected with some people, there's a lot of things that often, a lot of burdens that members in our panda family carry in terms of feeling like someone has wronged them or you know, just wrestling through unforgiveness and not feeling like they can show mercy or even that they're in an environment where mercy is acceptable, right? Where it's not, where kindness isn't seen as a virtue. So as you kind of think through that, as you think through, I How can we show mercy in places where it's not always seen as a virtue? - I would say probably cutting yourself a break. You know, 'cause we put a lot of expectations on ourselves and then when we fall short, like, we need a little mercy, you know what I mean? And, you know, the hardest part about any of this is taking a hard look at yourself and finding yourself in any situation that you have in front of you today. You know, and a lot of times when I find myself in it, then I can find a solution to whatever problem I'm dealing with that day, if that makes sense.

- Yeah, yeah. No, I love that 'cause I think about, you know, so often the person we are hardest on is ourselves, you know, that we think, man, I don't deserve this sort of mercy or I don't like, I don't deserve this forgiveness. Like, Jesus could never, he could never forgive me. And that is not at all what the gospel says, you know, is like, no, he has mercy, he has forgiveness, he has grace and it doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter where you are, where you've been, right? That, that mercy is there. - Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's so good. - So, you know, one of the things that Lucas talked about that I thought was so significant in the message was, he talked about having mercy towards two groups of, two groups of people, just two, two groups of people, he talked about mercy towards the invisible, like the people we don't always see, and mercy towards the unforgivable. And one of the ways he phrased that was that, it's really hard for us to forgive people who are hurting. I'm sorry, it's really hard for us to show mercy towards people who are hurting, but it's almost impossible for us to show mercy towards people who have hurt us. That we tend to overlook the hurting, but when it comes to people who have hurt us, like we just don't want anything to do with that.

As you kind of think through your own life in that, which area do you think is harder to show mercy in? Is it harder for you to see those needs? Or is it harder for you to look back at people who have hurt you and show them mercy? - To me, it sounds like resentments. - Oh, yeah. - And, you know, a lot of my resentments I had against God for a long time, you know, why are you doing this to me? You know, like, you know, I have a lot of those resentments. Working that 12-step program, for me, helped me free me from the resentments that I had against people that I can't see, that are no longer here, left me too early, you know, those things. And, you know, it's just clearing out all the baggies that I carry around for a long time. You know, a lot of those things were suppressed down deep inside of me, you know, and for a long time, always try to look for outside solutions for an internal problem, right? And when I take that time to look at myself and do an inventory on me, it's funny how I find God in it. That makes sense. - Yeah, yeah, you know, and it's interesting. I think we've had this quote here recently before, but it's interesting how we think about, you know, when we hold on to that resentment, when we hold on to that bitterness, we think we're hurting the other person. You know, when really all it's doing is weighing us down

and keeping us from finding the mercy and the grace of God in that, because we're so focused on, hey, this is what they did to me, or this is even what I feel like God has done to me, that I'm unwilling to let that go and actually embrace, you know, what he has. - Yes, absolutely. - So the other we attitude that Lucas talked about, we get God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy. God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. And we often hear that word pure, and it's like, oh, well, it's saying like, I have to be absolutely clean, or absolutely holy. And, you know, one of the things Lucas brought out in the text is while it does carry the idea of holiness, one of the other ideas that it carries is having, being unmixed, right, that I have an unmixed heart, that my heart is wholeheartedly focused on Jesus, that I'm singularly devoted to him. And as you think, through your recovery journey, what have been some of those obstacles that keep us from having that sort of singularly devoted heart to Jesus? Like what are those things that maybe some members of our panda family would be struggling with? What are some of those things that distract us from seeking out who he wants us to be?

- I would say self will. - Self will? - Yeah, self will is a big blocker. You know, had no wrong, you know, and love people no matter what. And the more that I get in the Word and I follow what He is telling me, the more pure of heart I become. It's nothing that I can do personally to change my heart. It's only the power of Jesus and what He can do in my heart. Yeah, I think, you know, we, I don't know if it's just our own natural bent or whatever, but we sometimes, we look at the Beatitudes and passages of the Scripture and we start thinking like, oh, this is, I got to do this. Yeah. And what, what Jesus is calling us to is now, like this is what you need to be, which is at first is like, okay, well, that sounds a little bit better than you think, oh, no, that's so much worse, actually, I, it's not just about living that way. It's like about letting those qualities and characteristics define my life as opposed to just being like, well, you know, I, I forgave somebody so I can check that box off, you know, like, no, you need, you need to be a forgiving person. You need to do that. But, but the good news of all that is that, you know, Jesus doesn't leave us to figure out those things on our own, right, that if you look through the Beatitudes and you see all these qualities and all these characteristics, you look through them and you realize like, oh, these, these are describing who Jesus is, right? This is describing how Jesus has met me. This is describing how Jesus has responded to me and, and it's only like you said through his power, it's only through who he is that I have any hope of transforming who I am. Absolutely. So, yeah, in Lucas, I think talked about that a little bit, I'm going to flip back here. Hopefully I can find it on the fly.

I think it was in, in Psalm 24 where he talked about who can ascend the hill of, I'm in Proverbs now. I'm getting closer. Psalm chapter 24, he's, he's talking about this, this statement that I think David makes when he's writing the Psalm, like who can, who can, oh, here it's in verse 3, 24 verse 3, who can climb the mountain of the Lord, who can stand in his holy place, only those whose hands and hearts are pure, who do not worship idols, who never tell lies. Like we, we read that and we can get very quickly discouraged about, you know, who we are and because we know, like we know our, our hands are not clean, our hearts are not pure. Like we, we can't get to where God is, but the good news of the gospel is no, Jesus has done that. We can go to that place and he can, by the righteousness he's given us, we can go to that place with him. So as you think about like the gospel, how it speaks to that, how it speaks to like this is what Jesus wants to give us, how would you encourage our Pando family with that to think about like, hey, this is, it's not about who you are, what you've done. It's about who Jesus is and what he's done for you. Yes, absolutely. What I would say is you are not your past. Who you are becoming and following Jesus, you're going to find a new way, a new way of living. And for me, it's, you know, each day is a new opportunity to be better than I was yesterday. You know, and that's, that's, that's a good enough blessing for me. You know, I get to wake up another day, clean this over and, you know, in the more days that I, that rack up, you know, it's like, it's one small step to a giant. You know, just getting through the next 24 hours may be enough for you to put another 24 hours on top of that, you know, where I find God is in the present. For a long time, you know, always lived in the past or in the future. I never, you know, I was never present in the moment.

And you know, that's where I found him is, is when I sit still because, you know, a lot of times we, we rush everything, you know, we want everything right now. And you know, it's, it's funny how it works because it's, it's really on his time. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes his timing and my timing doesn't add up. Yeah. It's awful how that goes, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, and I think it speaks to something you were saying earlier about, you know, having that fear of trying to picture life on the other side. It's like, you don't, I, we get hung up on that so often. It's like, well, I don't know what, what's, what are things going to be like two or three years from now? It's like, no, we just got to focus in, what are the next 24 hours going to be like? Yeah. You know, what am I going to, what am I going to do today? What am I going to do tomorrow? And then just-- I think you said-- Yes. You know, it's kind of like if you've had a career, say you've been working a job for 20 years and you know, you're getting burnt out in this job and you know, it's a struggle to go in every day, you know, and you're like, "But I gotta keep doing this because this is all I know. This is all I've known for the last 20 years." You know, but I'll tell you this, you know, it's never too late. It's never too late to change. It's never too late to start something new. I mean, if my testimony about where my Dixon is taking me and starting life all over again

can be a hope shot for someone, let me tell you, it's changed me. You know what I mean? I was living in a truck close to three years ago. I called it my four bedroom Chevy mansion, you know, and I thought that was all life was ever gonna feed me from here on out. This is how it is. And today I no longer live in a truck, you know. That's a testimony in itself, man, like life can get better. One day at a time, continuing to put one step in front of the other and continue to walk with Jesus as you can. Yeah, that's great. That's a good word. Preach, what do they say? So one of the things you talked about, I'm gonna give you the final word on this. One of the things you talked about before we went on, we talked about the gift of desperation that you had in that moment in the truck and just meeting Jesus in that moment. And I think, you know, our Pando family, they meet those moments where they're desperate, where they're just looking for like, hey, kind of what you're saying is this is never gonna change, this is how it's always gonna be. But I love the way you said that phrase gift of desperation. How would you challenge or encourage our Pando family to view those moments as a gift? Like how are they gonna go through that and see that for the gift it can be in their relationship with Jesus? Well, I mean, you can relate that back to the Beatitudes, the very first one that you're poor in spirit. And if I'm poor, like for me, that gift of desperation was my spiritual depletion where my insides, you know, my spirit was just a flicker, you know? And you know, I prayed before my prayers were like, please get me out of these handcuffs. Please get me through this, this court system, you know, simple prayer like that. It really was more like I thought he was a genie, you know, if I just ask, he'll give

me what I need. This was more of a heartfelt crowd desperation from a drowning man, you know, near death. I just wanted help and it's funny, I prayed and asked him for help and he gave me an intuitive thought of a friend of mine that had came into recovery and changed his life. He was the only person that I knew that had what I wanted and I called him. You know, it's funny, I prayed to God and he sends me to people just like me, you know, and it started my journey. I called him and he got me into a recovery center and, you know, I didn't know what it was look like and I was scared, full of fear and I just sat down and did what they asked of me and it changed my life. That's amazing. You know, you talk about just treating God like a genie and asking him for those things we need in the moment when what we really need in those moments is we need him. I need you to step in, I need you to be here because like I do want all of these things. I want these but like at the end of the day, what I really need is for your presence in this. Yes, absolutely. You know, I feel like we live two lives in one, especially for us, us men for the first portion of my life. It was all about what I could make and what I can, you know, like living up statuses. You know, today, I value my time, you know, I value my time with others and that's a different thing for me because, you know, when I tell you that I'm an alcoholic and an addict, right? Like I can be addicted to more than just drugs and alcohol. Like I can be addicted to work. I can, you know, I can be addicted to possessions, you know, different things. My addiction doesn't necessarily have to be just on drugs and alcohol. You know, it can be the street life. I was addicted to that too and, you know, through Jesus, I'm able to sit back. You drive the car, I'm okay. (laughing)

My driving skills is not that good. (laughing) - I need someone else to take the wheel. - Yeah, please take the wheel, yes. - But again, that goes back to another beatitude where Jesus talked about blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. If you're gonna be addicted to other things, if you're gonna hunger and thirst for other things, man, those are never gonna, you're never gonna be done with those things. - Yeah. - You're never gonna get enough of those things, but like when we recognize, like my real hunger and thirst is for what he has, then that changes everything, you know? - You know, for a long time, I felt like I was searching for something that I could never find, you know, like I said, all the things I just spoke about, finding it and then work, you know, possessions, women, you know, different, you know, all the other stuff, and I never was satisfied. For the first time in my life, you know, when I looked on the inside of me, I found something that I was always looking for and it was the one place that I would never look is inside me. It, does that make sense?

- Yeah, yeah, for sure. - Well, Pano family, we just wanna encourage you, like I loved how Cole brought that out with the first beatitude, right? That Jesus said, you know, blessed are the poor in spirit for the kingdom of heaven is theirs. Like you may be feeling in a moment today, like you were in a point of desperation where you have nothing, where there's just nothing you have to offer anybody. And there's a sense in which that can be a tremendous gift to recognize that poverty of spirit, to recognize like I am nothing, I have nothing because it's in those moments of desperation we realize, like I need Jesus, I need him to step in, I need him to supply what I lack, I need him to save me because I cannot save myself. And so we just wanna encourage you with that. Like if that's a place that you feel that you're at, like reach out to your chaplain in your prison, reach out to some of the 12-step groups around you and get connected with that community. I know you said that's a tremendous part of your story is finding that group to belong to. - Yeah. - And take those first steps to see those moments of poverty of spirit, those moments of desperation as a gift of Jesus giving you what you need to reach out for him and find him in those moments. I wanna remind you guys as we close up

just a couple of things. We do the PANDO podcast every week, so be sure to look for that. We also have a new Bible study going on called Chasing the Vapor where we're going through the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, which oddly talks about how the things of this earth they just don't satisfy, they don't fill up, they're hard to grasp. So I wanna invite you to join us for that study as well as that'll be continuing over the next six weeks. And like Cole said, don't forget, the Spiritual Pathways Curriculum on the PANDO app. We would love you to be a part of that. I know Essie Recovery has said, if you're able to make it through that program and need a certificate that you've completed that, like they would love to make that happen. So right into us, let us know how you're using it. Let us know how it's been a part of your spiritual walk, your spiritual journey, 'cause we love to hear those stories. And again, we love to be praying for you as you are walking down that path. - But Cole, thank you so much for joining us today. Brother, I appreciate getting to hear your story, getting to hear your heart in reaching out to Essie Online Recovery. And we'll just be praying for your work, praying for what you guys are doing across our state. Like how many centers are there now?

- I believe we have 27 centers that we go in. - Wow, that's incredible, so an amazing work. So thank you for being a part of that man. We appreciate it. - And thank you guys for having me today. - Yeah, absolutely. - The Pando family, we will see you next time on the Pando podcast. Hope you have a great week. [BLANK_AUDIO]