DON'T MISREAD YOUR MISERY | Romans 12:1–2 | Chris Durso

with you that's i want you to pull it out if you don't i want you to go to your cell phone and go on over to biblegateway.com or go on over to the bible app and i want to read i want to read two portions of scripture to you but i really want to fix it your attention on this first text i would actually say that this verse that i'm about to read to you is one of my favorite verses in the bible app i spent a lot of time thinking about it praying over it asking the holy spirit to speak to me through and i'm really praying that he does the same for us now Romans chapter 12 verses 1 through 2 Romans chapter 12 verses 1 through 2 the author writes therefore i urge you can we just pause right there he says i urge you this language is intense this isn't i encourage you it's almost i beg you hey my brothers my sisters you love god i love god i beg you pay attention to everything i'm about to say because if you pay attention it could change everything for you that's what he's suggesting in this moment as he starts off the text therefore i urge you brothers and sisters in other words this is for men and for women women and men i beg you to pay attention in view of god's mercy what that statement means it's only by the mercy of god that you're able to participate in everything else i'm about to say to you and it's his mercy that makes him accessible to us so i am urging you and begging you to lean in this is not just something you read over it's not just something you ignore it's not just something you brush past he's saying my brothers and my sisters i beg you right now in view of god's mercy that you would lean all the way in on everything that we're about to discuss because the only reason we're able to discuss it is because in god's mercy he allows us to had he not been merciful he would have treated us as our sins deserve but because he doesn't and he offers us mercy how could we miss up on this opportunity that's what he said and i'm praying you feel the weight of this in your chest i pray that you feel the weight of this in this moment because i haven't even got to said what he's about to say but what i'm trying to do is explain to you the way that he's opening up this text is to get you to pay attention because what he would hate like i would hate is that you would read the next few words as if they're just another thing that you read we have to be careful that we do not treat the word of god like we would treat or reel on instagram that we don't just keep on scrolling and look for the next positive affirmation he says no no no i need you to pause because the only reason why we're here right now is not

necessarily because you showed up but because of the mercy of god that would allow you to be here right now my brothers and my sisters so i beg you as everyone else tries to get your attention and as everyone else tries to distract you and as everyone tries to pull you to pay attention to them i am begging you to forget all of that right now to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice holy and pleasing to god this is your true and proper worship now i'm not going to spend any time preaching this but just to give a little bit more clarity around what he's saying is he's saying when you're singing that's great when you're serving that's beautiful but if you really want to give your worship unto god say to god i want you to take my body i want you to take my life i am giving everything i have and i am offering it to you and whatever you tell me to do with my life and my days and my time i'll be obedient and paul says when you do that that's real worship because how many of you know how many of you know we do not need to be believers that fulfill the stereotypes that people have against us yeah they go to church on sunday but it's just cultural for them they're not really about it they just they just take and make some look good or they just show up there because you know they don't got nothing else to do i want that when people talk about us and they talk about good company i want the testimony to be that that church is serious or they love jesus they they know how to celebrate one another, but they don't play around when it comes to their faith. They're not a church of compromise. They're a church that says what they mean and mean what they say. When they say they're gonna show up, they show up when it's time to gather and worship. They don't play around the name of Jesus. He says, this is your true and proper worship. And then look at verse two. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then look at the next line, by the renewing of your mind.

What's that first word? Then, somebody say then. Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then, then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good pleasing and perfect will. Some of you have been trying to figure out your life without renewing your mind. And it doesn't work that way. When you renew your mind, then you'll be able to test and approve what God's will is. Then you'll be able to make a decision about that relationship. Then you'll be able to make a decision about the business. Then you'll be able to move forward from the pain of what happened to you then, but until then, you can't. Speaking of tough moments, there's this moment in the life of Joseph. Genesis chapter 37 verse 23 that reads like this. So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe. The ornate robe he was wearing and they took him and threw him into a cistern. The cistern was empty. There was no water in it. Joseph's father said, Hey, go check on your brothers for me. He thinks he's going to do a wellness check to make sure that his brothers are doing what they were supposed to do.

The Bible describes that when his brothers who were supposed to be safe for him saw him in the distance, they plotted how to hurt him, how to kill him. Then one of them says, Hey, let's not let's not kill him. Let's just sell him into slavery. And it's amazing because if you know the life and the story of Joseph, he goes on to be very prosperous. Comes a leader responsible for money, land and food. But yet, if you just looked at his story through the lens of that moment, you would have thought his life was over. That's what I want to get at today. I want to speak to you from the next few moments from this idea. Don't misread your misery. You take notes right that now. Don't misread your misery. If you're not taking notes, write it down anyway. Don't misread your misery. Let's pray one more time. Holy Spirit, speak. Help us to understand your will and your way. Renew our minds in this place. The precious and matches the name of Jesus. Amen. Come on, can you shout amen? Amen, amen. Thank you, sir. Have you ever been absolutely convinced you knew what was going on? Only to find out that you were completely wrong. Anybody?

Am I the only one? Okay. There we go. Thank you. Thanks for showing up. The other day when I landed from vacation, like I throw that out there if you're wondering why I'm 10, I was in Mexico. It's not a big deal. But when I landed, when I landed in JFK and I got my service back, there were all these text messages. One text message, I got read like this, "Have I offended you? Did I do something wrong?" Don't understand why I haven't heard back from you. Do you think I'm living inappropriately? When I saw my first thought was, what are you talking about? I don't have a clue what's going on. But then when I scrolled up and I saw two other text messages, sitting there unread, I understood what happened. I immediately responded and said, "Man, I'm so sorry. I was out of the country. We're good. I love you." The issue when I think about what happened to my friend is that make a point. I simply missed him. But from his perspective, he had already assigned meaning to my silence. He interpreted it. He was convinced that he knew what my silence meant, even though he didn't. See, the problem wasn't the silence. The problem was the meaning that he attached to the silence. And how much of our lives are shaped not simply by what happened, but by what we decided it meant. I had no idea he texted me. He thought I was ignoring him. And what I've learned is that

people aren't shaped only by what happens to them. They are shaped by the meaning they assign to what happens to them. Lean in. Because you told yourself a story that you put together using evidence you actually never clarified. You connected dots. You assigned a motive. You became convinced you knew someone's intent without ever knowing if your conclusion was true. See, most of us aren't hurt only by what people did. We're hurt by the motives we assigned to what they did. We don't just interpret actions. We interpret intention. And when we do not know the truth, we'll often let our own fears, wounds, or assumptions fill those gaps. How many of you know what I'm talking about? When you're waiting for a response. When you're waiting for what's next. And as you're waiting for what's next, it does not come on your timetable. It does not come when you scheduled it. It doesn't come when you thought it should. So now as a result, you sit there overthinking. You could be in conversation with someone, but you can't even engage in the conversation because you're too busy having a conversation with yourself. You're going back and forth with yourself. You're talking about what happened. You're thinking about what they did. You're looking at their social media. You're looking at what they liked and what they didn't like. You're asking yourself why did they like that, but they didn't like this. I know they saw this, but why didn't they reach out to me? I know they heard about this, but they didn't think that they should shoot me a text. And we have all these moments and all this confusion. And what happens is we start to play investigator. When all we were supposed to do was allow what's happening to play out naturally. See, I've learned that the most influential voice in your life is the one that nobody hears. The most influential voice in your life is the one that nobody hears. And if we, if we do not deal with this today, if we do not deal with this today, you will find yourself in a loop of confusion and brokenness. And this is exactly why Paul says what he says. He says be transformed by, somebody say by, by the renewing of your mind, be transformed by the renewing of your mind, depending on how you grew up, you will think that God will do something for you predicated by the action or the behavior that you attached to it. If I respond to an altar call, if I give a certain amount of money away, if I'm allowed in my worship and in my praising, then God will meet me. And God is saying, son, Dora, I'm already here. I love you, but in order for you to understand what's actually happening, you do not have to give something away externally. What I need to do is internal. It needs to happen by the renewing of your mind. It's the renewing of your mind. Why? Because if your mind isn't renewed, you'll keep assigning the wrong meaning to your life.

If your mind is not renewed, you will keep assigning the wrong meaning to your life. And if you assign the wrong meaning to your life, you'll eventually misread what God is doing. God, I want you to change this. I want you to redeem this. Would you forgive me, God? Would you heal this relationship? God, I want to feel different. And we put all the expectation for God just to show up and meet us. And what you don't realize is every time you do that, you sit back and you expect God just to show up when He says, I did not commit to performing with you. I committed to being in relationship with you. I want to go with you and I want you to go with me. I will meet you and I will renew you, but you have to allow yourself to be in a position where you could actually be renewed. God, I want you to change my life. He says first, I wanna renew you. I want to shift the way that you think. I wanna help cleanse your thoughts. I wanna focus on what you've been focusing on. I wanna deal with where your mind goes, when things don't go your way. I wanna deal with those behaviors that you call coping and you think are innocent while actually you're indulging. And as a result of it, you feel guilty and that guilt causes you to be distracted and because you're distracted, you can't even pay attention to me. What I'm doing here is I wanna help you here before I help you here. I wanna renew your mind and when I renew your mind, then you'll be able to understand what I'm doing. And here's the thing, he's gonna do what he does for a garless if we're ready for it or not. However, it's your interpretation of it. See, what got me on this wave of thinking is I was thinking, what was Joseph actually thinking

when he was in that pit? What was running through his mind? Because he had just been given a coat that represented favor, it was beautiful, it was a gift from his father. He must've been on this high to now all of a sudden, on a low, physically and emotionally. Literally, throw in a pit. A pit is a horrible place. To make life decisions. A pit is a dangerous place to come up with ideas about your future. And this is why, this is why he says, I wanna renew your mind, why? Because then he says, then you'll be able to test and approve what God's will is. His good pleasing and perfect will. Notice the order. Get your mind renewed, then you'll be able to test and approve what God's will is. His good pleasing and perfect will. Too many of you are making life decisions without renewing your minds. You're making life decisions about your marriage, about your finances, about your job, about what's next, but you're doing it without your mind being renewed. So you have to understand what Paul is encouraging you to do is get your mind right before making your decisions as opposed to making up your decisions with a toxic mind. And what I've learned is that you don't have to trust every,

you don't have to understand everything that God is doing in order to trust them. Because so often, so often, you're never gonna see the big picture. When you're in it, you think it's over and then you realize this isn't over, this is just a part of it, or it's just a small snippet of it. Do you need to make sure that the pain, that the hurt, the trauma, that the unmet expectations that some of you are carrying, whether it's emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, relationally, that they offer it to God. You lost someone, bring it to God. You're mourning someone, I'm so sorry for your loss. Let's bring the grief to God. Maybe you're mourning someone that's still alive, but they're no longer in your life. Let's bring it to God. You feel down and out, like you're in a pit, let's talk about it 'cause he'll meet you in the pit. But the worst thing you could do is make decisions when you're in the pit. A pit is a dangerous place to interpret your life. It's where speculation grows, it's where fear gets loud. It's where we start assigning meaning that God never assigned. See what I love about Joseph is that he seems to stay consistent the entire time.

And when I think about his life, his greatest battle was not surviving the pit. I think his greatest battle was refusing to let the pit tell him what it meant. I do not think that Joseph's greatest battle was surviving the pit. I think his greatest battle was refusing to let the pit tell him what it meant. Don't misread your misery. Let me say it this way. A miserable moment when misread becomes a miserable life. A miserable moment when misread becomes a miserable life. But a miserable moment when trusted with God becomes a life of miracles. I'm sorry for what you've been through. But you have to make a decision is what I've been through going to do. if not, you're going to find yourself a living in a place that God called you out of. Now, here's the truth about what you're dealing with. I'm going to say the thing that maybe you know but haven't heard out loud. Other people's problems can become your predicament because misery loves company. Other people's problems can become your predicament because misery loves company. I'm saying this to affirm you because many of you find yourself in a miserable situation and it's not because you made a bad decision. It's not because you didn't have discipline. It's not because you come from generational curses but it's because your paths crossed with somebody who was either dysregulated or toxic or hated you or was jealous of you and against you. Joseph ends up in a pit not because he deserved it but because his brothers were jealous. Later on, he ends up in prison not because he crossed the line but because he refused to sleep with Potiphar's wife and Potiphar's wife was so offended that Joseph said no to her that she screams rape not because she was raped but because her ego was bruised and you have to understand that people that are dysregulated and people that are unhealthy will throw will throw their problems on you

and you will end up in a predicament because of it. You don't have to create a problem to carry them. Can we just pause for a second? Who here has ever had that thought? God, this is unfair. Let me see your hand. And when you're in that place, you know what you're thinking? I'm the only one. Anyone else? Anyone else the only one here? God, how'd this happen? Why this happened? I mean, I know why they're there but they're crazy. Oh, I know why they're in debt. He can never keep a dollar in his pocket. Oh, I know why his heart is broken. He goes from girl after girl after girl but not me, oh God. And what happens is when you start to think that way, you start to marginalize yourself and marginalization leads to isolation and you start to isolate yourself because you trust yourself more than you trust God. And what happens is you start listening to yourself but here's where I want to affirm you. You are not where you're at because you did something bad. You are where you are because somebody else is toxic and I'm sorry. You trusted them with your heart. You got into the relationship with them but they were unhealed and because they were unhealed, they projected on to you. They did you wrong. They did you dirty. They did lie. They did steal. Let's talk about it and yet you are where you are. However, we now have to make a decision and am I going to live here because their trauma put me here or am I going to rise above it and make sure that their trauma has no attachment on me. See, if you get stuck on what happened to you, you're not going to be able to focus on how to move away from it. Because you're in a pit and you're frustrated that there's dirt. Yes, there's dirt in a pit. Bob says there was no water in the cistern. Water represents life. There's no life in the pit. So you could stay here and you could make observations and you could give us your commentary on how you got there. And here's the truth. I've been there. God, I don't know why. What happened to me happened to me in my family? I don't get it. I don't understand it. I'm frustrated by it. I didn't do anything wrong and yet here we are. And then fast-fold. Years later, look at around the hall. I wouldn't be here today. I'd be somewhere. I just wouldn't be here. I like here. I like here way more than I like it there. One truth is unhealed people create unnecessary casualties. Joseph kept paying the price for decisions he never made. His brother's jealousy became his pit. Potiphar's wife's lie became his prison. And some of you are living in consequences you never chose. But don't let someone else's choices become the lens through which you interpret God.

Their behaviors are not God's decisions. Their behavior is not God's decisions. Well, God, why did you allow it? Because he gives us free will. But the same God that allows you to fall into a pit is the same God that will rest of fixating on how you got here, it's to trust Him so that later on, you'll be able to see a clear picture of it, therefore, they may have put you in the pit, but they do not get to decide what the pit means. They may have put you in that pit, but they do not get to decide what that pit means. It's either going to be the place that you die or it's going to be the place that elevates you. It's either going to be the place that you remain in and causes your depression and why you can't get around people and why you can't trust the church anymore and why you can't serve in the church anymore and why you can't worship freely or it's the place that you assessed your life and you fixated your attention on Jesus and said, "Jesus, I don't know how I got here, but here's what I know. If you before me, it doesn't matter who's against me. I'm down right now, but you know what? Because I'm down, it's about time that I level up. It's about time that I get healthier. It's about time that I fixate my attention on you. It's about time that I observe who's surrounding me and you know what? They weren't good for me in the first place. I thought I was a good judge of character, but the very people I came to check up on and are the very people that threw me in a pit which also speaks to the idea that just because they're around you doesn't mean they're good for you. And had you known that, you would have never checked up on them, but you checked up on them because you told yourself, "You are a good person. My brother and my sister, I don't want you necessarily just to be good. I want you to be wise." Because there's a lot of good people that are unwise. Well, I have a good heart, no one's questioning your heart, but your track record shows me

you make more poor choices. You go from relationship after relationship after relationship. You go from church to church to church. There's no commitment. There's no stability. You want to grow? Get planted in something. You're not going to see any growth if you're not planted, and the Word of God is literally encouraging you. Get planted in healthy soil. You know what's the healthiest soil? Jesus. Get in a relationship with Him and then follow. Follow His Word. His Word commands you to confess your sins. His Word commands you to renew your mind. His Word also commands you to get a part of the church, stick with it, and grow with it. Don't just show up for a sermon and then leave. Get involved in community. Why? Because if bad company corrupts good character, imagine what good company could you. Imagine what the right community could do. Imagine what the right people could do. Write this down. Stop listening to yourself. Start talking to yourself. Start listening to yourself, start talking to yourself. Romans 12-2 says, "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Paul isn't telling us to ignore reality.

He is telling us not to let our circumstances become the loudest voice in our lives. I love Psalm 42 where David exclaims, "Why my soul are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?" And then he says, "Put your hope in God." He's literally talking to his own soul, and he's having a conversation with his own soul. You're downcast. Hey soul, you want to give up? Hey soul, you are bruised and you are broken. Hey soul, hey soul, you are disturbed within me. But now I'm speaking to you, and I am telling you to get up. David wasn't just listening to himself. He was talking to himself. He wasn't just listening to himself. He was talking to himself, and the issue is that too many of you like your voice so much that you listen to everything it is that you have to say, and you like the conversation about your betrayal, and you like the conversation about your hurt, and you like the conversation about what you've been through, and no one is disregarding what you've been through. The issue is what you've been through is still on the inside of you, and if it remains on the inside of you, then even though that day has passed, you're going to live in that moment forever. Stop listening, start talking. I love after Jesus affirms Peter and says, "I'm going to use you to do great things, and on you I'm going to build my church," and then immediately has to rebuke him and says, "Get behind me, say in a why," because we could go from being people that are strong being used for God, and then in the next moment we could say something sideways that the Holy Spirit has to rebuke. You have to learn how to rebuke yourself. Stop looking for affirmation. Look for correction.

Find people that are going to tell you the truth, not just agree with you, because if the Holy Spirit, if your Holy Spirit never disagrees with you, that's not the Holy Spirit. That's you, and because you like how you sound, you listen to yourself, because if you don't When those intrusive thoughts come in. You do not talk back to yourself. You're eventually going to believe everything you say. And as a result, you're going to get stuck in a loop, a loop that looks something like this. Can you put that up there for me? It's the story loop. You go through an instance, you go through pain, find yourself in a pit. Here's what actually happened. And then the meaning I assigned to it, the belief it produced, then the life I started living. It's the story loop. In Joseph's case, my brothers took me through me in a pit. That's what happened. The meaning I assigned to it, my story must be over. Life's never going to get any better. My brothers threw me in a pit because God hates me. God hates me. That's where you start living. That's the belief it produced. God is in for me. He's against me. And as a result, the life that you start to live will become from the belief that you produced. Imagine living of life that God is for everybody else but you. That's a dark life.

No wonder so many people rush to drink. No wonder why so many people can't stay home. No wonder why so many people are looking to get high. Which by the way, I know we're a church and if some of you grew up in a church, we're not the church that judges people. We're not the church that cast judgment. We're not the church that when we see somebody or posting something that we just come for them and tell them to grow up and get out of sin, you have to look at their behaviors and say, why did they keep doing what they're doing? What's the deeper root to how they got there? Hey, can I help you? Before you correct someone, you offered help. Hey, man, you need anything? Oh, why'd you ask? Well, I noticed. Every so often you end up back in this place and I'll just. I know you told me you didn't want to live like that, but you know, I get it. We all make mistakes, but let me let me help you where you're at because you don't know the story that they're telling themselves. It might be easy for you to come to church and lift up your hands for them. They might feel shame or if they grew up in church, maybe their family was in ministry when they hear ministry and they think of pastors, they have a bad association with it. It's why Mother's Day is the second most celebrated holiday and Father's Day is something like the 18th most celebrated holiday. Flag Day beats Father's Day, by the way. How's that? Because people have such a bad relationship with fathers.

So why would they want to celebrate? You might have the best father in the world. I know my kids do like that guy looking for affirmation. You're midpoint. You have no idea what happened. And you have no idea the meaning they assigned to it. And here's the thing about assigning meaning. You might have the evidence to assign the meaning. There are things pointing to why you are where you are. And that's why it's the belief you produced. And as a result, you'll start living your life. You have to ask yourself what is the life that I want to live? Because here's what I know what happened to you matters. But what you told yourself it meant can shape your entire life. The event happened once. But the story you tell yourself about the event could happen every day. And this is why this is why we need to interrupt how you believe. See, because you've told yourself and you continually tell yourself why things are the way that they are, you'll preach to yourself a stronger sermon that I could ever preach to you. Some of you have been listening to the wrong preacher all week. Your own mind, your own fear, your own assumptions, your own interpretations. And every day you've been preaching to yourself the same sermon. I'm forgotten. I'm never getting out of this. They got away with it. I'll always be this way. God must be done with me. Nothing is ever going to change. That's bad preaching.

And that's bad living. We have to break that loop. Here's how we break the loop. Can you put that second graphic up there for me? The first would be separate facts from feelings. Thank you. Separate facts from feelings. Ask yourself, what actually happened? You're in a pit. Ask yourself, what actually happened? And if you can't answer, leave it blank. Don't try to fill in the blanks. What actually happened? Why did he leave? Why did she walk away? Why did they betray me? Why did they abandon me? Why did they steal from me? Why did they do me dirty? Why did they fire me? Why am I here? What actually happened? You've got to separate the facts. Go to the next one. Challenge the story. What am I assuming? Why am I assuming this? I know I have this evidence, get it out. Write it all out. Just like David did.

Just write it all out. be aware of it, but don't allow it to control you. What am I assuming? Challenge the story. Go to the next one. And then say, what does the scripture say? Ask, what does God say about this? I feel like my life is over, but what does God say about my life? I feel like my future is never coming, but what does God say about my future? This is why not only are you to read the word, but you're to pray dearly. This is why you need to develop a strong prayer of life. I love praying for you in a few moments. I'm going to pray for you. I'll lay hands. I'll hold your hand. I'll cry with you. I'll do all the things. But my brothers and my sisters, you have to develop your own prayer life, because when you pray and you read God's word, then you'll be able to know what God says, and you'll be able to differentiate what you say and what God says. And if you're submitted to God, if you're offering yourself just like Paul's imploring us to do, you will submit to what God says over what you've been preaching. Go to the next one, last one. Choose the truest interpretation. Which story produces faith over fear? Is it because I'm bad so I'm forgotten? Or is it because they were jealous and they took their jealousy out on me? If I'm bad and I'm forgotten by God, then I can't change that. But there's not one scripture in the Bible, by the way, that would agree with that. But if they're jealous of me and they threw me in a pit, that means that their jealousy has no jurisdiction over my life, even though it did rule that moment. And then you start to say, you know what, they threw me in this pit, but I don't have to remain in this pit. And then after, after you figure out what it is that the Bible says, keep going, it's okay.

You repeat it, you repeat it, you repeat it. Then your mind believes it, you repeat it. You repeat it, you repeat it. And you keep allowing the scripture to wash over your minds. You allow the scripture to wash over your mind. You repeat it, you repeat it, you repeat it. Knowing that God is with you. Stop allowing your misery to preach louder than the word of God. Stop allowing your misery to preach louder than the word of God. Every time you feel forgotten, say, my God loves me and he is for me. I am for you and it doesn't matter who or what is against you. I feel like they're attacking me. Tell yourself, no weapon formed against me. Shall prosper. I feel like the enemy is coming for me. He might be, but the plans of the enemy will not succeed. This is what a renewed mind does. It's not that they don't have the first thought. It's that they're unwilling to allow that thought to settle in and they tackle it with the word of God. A renewed mind does not deny reality. It refuses to let reality have the final interpretation. (audience applauds) Which, if you don't allow it to have the final interpretation, that means you get up and you live the life that God has for you. Some of you haven't had fun in so long.

You need to have fun again. I'm serious, I know that sounds wishy, washy or weak. You have no idea how good community is for you. Get around the right people. Find people that will pray with you and find people that will make you laugh, hopefully they'll send people. But if you find people that all they do is pray and they never smile, stop praying with them. The joy of the Lord is your strength. If they're always serious and all they do is speak in scripture and they're angry and they're stern and they talk like they're holier than now and get away with them. They're dealing with their own self-righteousness. Get around people that are happy. Get around people that have joy. The Bible says the joy of the Lord is our strength. See joy on somebody? Know that they have the strength of God. Worship the Lord, start worshiping again. Get out with your friends, serve on a team. Take a vacation, be generous, live your life. Have brunch after this. You don't have to go home full on your knees on rice and pray, just get before God, eat some rice. My goodness. Because if not, you'll stay stuck. But here's the truth. Don't waste where you didn't choose.

You didn't choose to be here, but don't allow it to go to waste. Whoo, my new prayer is God. Show me how to show up in the pit. You're throwing me in a pit, okay? I'm gonna make this thing look good, man. I'm telling you, I think we could put some walls here. I think we could add a ladder here. Man, when I'm done with this, I'm gonna turn this into a pool. Like, don't waste, don't waste where you didn't decide. I know you hate that you're here, but the truth is if you continue to hate where you're at currently and you're waiting for something to come, you don't even realize that you're keeping yourself further along than where you need to be. This is why some of you haven't started serving you because the last church you went to you were at or a worship service that you were a part of was a traumatic experience for you and I'm not bypassing any of it but at the same time you're allowing it to control you. This is why some of you haven't opened up for yourself to a relationship. It's why you haven't said yes to that date. It's not that he's not a good guy or not a good girl. It's that you're so hurt from the last thing that you went through and I'm sorry for what you went through but you can't stay there. Write this down. Some people heal your misery. Others market it. Some people will heal your misery. Others market it. A few weeks ago some of my favorite people in the world, their names are Dean, Diane, Joshua, Noah. They're here somewhere. They went to Croatia versus Portugal and Dean is Croatian. Therefore, his family is Croatian. They had the jerseys, they had the colors, they showed up to the game, ready to go. They were excited. Obviously, they wanted Croatia to win. Sadly, Croatia lost. Dean Sun Joshua, who's one of my favorite people in the world, by the way, was heartbroken because it was heartbroken, started to cry.

And what was a difficult heart-breaking moment for him quickly became public because the cameras caught him. Look at this picture. Man, Joshua's the man, by the way. Look at it. He looks good in that jersey, doesn't he? He got the hat hanging off his shoulders and he has the best dad in the world's dad. He's comforting him but he was having his own moment because he was sad about what happened between the match, Croatia lost. Within seconds, Dean and Diane are getting text messages. People are taking pictures of their television because the cameras have zoomed in on Joshua and Dean and they're texting them non-stop and shooting them DMs and then immediately because, you know, how social media is, immediately this became the picture for the heartbreak of Croatia. So now all over Croatian news and European news, they're using Joshy's face on thousands of media outlets around the world. His heartbreak became everybody's headline. His heart became content. His pain was made public because the painful truth is misery attracts attention. Misery attracts attention and not everyone who notices your pain wants to help you heal it. Not everyone who notices your pain wants to help you people. Some heal it. Some people want to heal it. Others want to market it. And this is why I want to encourage you to be careful who you find. Be careful of the community you find yourself in. The reason why I'm giving you these points today is because I'm trying to help you get to the place that you need to be but it's not going to happen just because you asked for it to happen. It's going to happen because you make wise decisions. What's the church you're going to be a part of? What's the friend group that you're going to be a part of? What are the decisions that you are going to make? I pray that God would heal you of your misery but knowing God, the way that God works, He wants to work with you through your misery. He's not going to just elevate you out of the pit. He's going to give you the strength to crawl out of the pit. And when you crawl out of that pit and you stand on your own feet, you are going to realize that God was with you the entire time and that what was behind you is behind you and it does not get any authority over you. This is why I want to encourage you. Be mindful. Be mindful of who you're hanging out with. Be mindful of who you're talking to. Be mindful because there are some people that are just as miserable as you're feeling right now. And we know like I know misery loves company. And if you surround yourself with those people and if you allow those people just to affirm you and tell you how bad God is, what's going to happen is that you're going to miss out on everything it is that God has for you. What He has for you, it's beautiful. His will is perfect. It's good. But you're not going to be able to see it until

your mind is renewed. See the truth is misery has a way of making you want to quit. But the fact is God has a way of making your misery good. He says, I will turn it around and I will use it for my glory. I will turn it around and I will use it for my glory. Worship team, come on up please. I will turn it around and I will use it for my glory. I'm going to make it good. I'm going to meet you where you're at. I know your life, you thought your life was over. but you have no idea the future that I have for you, the hopes that I have for you. I'm sorry that he left. I'm sorry that she left, but I had better for you. I have more in front of you. I know you thought that was your dream job, and you no longer have that job, but you don't even realize you're about to be a CEO of your own business. I'm about to provide for you and position you. Now here's the thing, I didn't put you in that place, but I will use that place to mature you. (audience applauding) Don't misread it. It's miserable, it's bad. And I say that because I know that so often we think that confessing something's bad is somehow agreeing with the devil. It's not true. Faith does not call you to be blind to reality. It's bad and God is good. Life is tough and God is good. It's difficult right now. I hate this pit. I don't know how I got here.

They're jealousy, her bruised ego. I can't believe I'm here right now. And yet God, nothing, nothing is out of your sight. 'Cause I didn't create it, but I can't control it. Trust me. Trust me, don't. Don't allow the offense. Don't allow the betrayal. Don't allow the unfaithfulness. Don't allow what was stolen to dictate you all because it wants to dictate you. I got good for you, man. Better days in front of you. Ooh, better days in front of you. So many better days in front of you. God, when is it gonna end? I know it feels like it's not. You ever experienced fireworks in the moment. It could be so jarring that if you're on a phone call, if you were listening to something, all gone. That's what trauma is like. Fireworks, going on, that it's disorienting. If you ever go out the next day and look up in the same sky where those fireworks were, you can't even tell they were there anymore. Some of you got fireworks going off in your life right now. But eventually the fireworks fall away. And what was a busy sky becomes a clear sky. What was an overwhelming moment? Turns into a moment of peace and clarity.

One moment there's smoke. The next moment there's blue skies. Can I tell you? You're gonna make it out. Oh, listen, I'm not a prophet. You're gonna make it out. You're alive today, you're still breathing. Bible says that new mercies are offered to us each and every day you know why they're available because there's more for you. You are going to make it out. God has more for you, he's with you. But man, I wanna encourage you to make the right decisions. You gotta renew your mind so you could see it, so you could test it so that you could experience it all. You're gonna make it out? You gotta renew this, you gotta deal with it. Because if you do not renew your mind and you make it out, you'll misinterpret what you went through. I gotta say this, don't edit God out of the middle. When you ask yourself, God, where were you? You also need to remind yourself that he was with you the entire time. That is the one detail that you could never forget. He's with you and he's always with you. And never leave you nor will he forsake you. I remember years ago, I was preaching over the course of three different days, 72 hours, preaching in three different cities, Chicago, Florida, Atlanta.

I had decided to bring two younger leaders with me. They wanted to be in ministry. I thought this would be a great opportunity for them to see what ministry actually looked like. And honestly, just get to hang out with them, spend some time together. We were having a great time. Throughout the trip, I noticed that they were posting everywhere we went, flights, hotels, cities, the churches. And I also noticed that their posts read the way that preachers post when they travel places. You know, preachers post. Excited to be in Atlanta tonight. We'd leave a place and they would post, thank you, Grace Church, for having me. Off to Florida. What an amazing time at Hope Church. The interesting part is they weren't the ones preaching. Those churches hadn't invited them. They were there because I brought them. I brought them because I believed them. Now, I was intact. I wasn't I would never ask to be. That wasn't what struck me. What struck me was this, without realizing they were telling a story that left out how they got there. And that's exactly what we could do with God. We edited him out of the middle. You'll blame him for the pit, and then you'll

praise yourself for the success. You will blame him for what you went through. I can't believe I got here. I can't believe I went through this, God, where were you? I thought you loved me. I thought you were for me. And then you make it out. And then all of a sudden, you did it because you thought you were able to do it. You were strong enough. You were proud enough. You were successful enough. Do not give yourself the credit that belongs to grace. The Bible says all throughout Joseph's life that the Lord was with Joseph. The Lord was with Joseph. Notice where that verse appears, not after the palace, not after slavery, not after prison, but in slavery, and in prison. What I'm saying is, God was already in the middle. He was with you at the beginning. He was with you in the middle. And it'll be with you at the end. See, without God, your story will become that you are the hero. But with God, the focus is you become the one that he loved. You become the one that he rescued. You become the one that he saved. Because without him, it is by your strength. But with him, he made you strong and fought for you.

He's with you. He's with you. I know you don't feel it right now. You feel like giving up. But the fact is, you haven't given up. You feel like you're falling apart. But the fact is, you're still put together. You feel like you can't stand. And yet, you can stand. That is not simply because you manifested it. We rebuke all of that language, by the way. That is simply because you believe in the power that is in the name and person of Jesus. God is with you. God loves you. God is for you. He is upholding you with his righteous right. Hey. It's crazy because like you, I hate pits. I've never been in a pit and we're like, oh, God, thank you. Excited for what you're doing in this. I want to get there, by the way. Me and Al were laughing about that earlier. Because Paul, man, he had that thing about it. He's like, I look at all of it. I look at all the pain, all the hurt. And I give glory to God. I want to get there. I'm not there yet. But also, no.

Without what I went through, I wouldn't stand in front of you the way that I'm standing in front of you today. Nothing, I'm not perfect, I'm far from you. Oh, but I was a different person. I was a different person years ago. I didn't have this kind of peace. I didn't have this kind of joy. My mind was always overwhelmed and felt plain. Sorry, I remember being told how to get ready to preach and just crying because I didn't want to go. I wanted just to lay down, not talk to anybody. It made me think of this code I read online the other day. It says ministry. When someone else is healed by the oil that came from your crushing. And if you're like me, you read that, and you'd be like, man. God, I don't really want that oil. But I was thinking about today. So I thought I'd rewrite it to make sense for what we're talking about. Ministry happens. When someone else is healed by the mindset, God formed in your misery. I know we're not the perfect church. But man, we're only 10 months in. We're in the Gramercy Theater. It's the middle of July, by the way. People don't go to church in New York City in July, typically. And I look at this and I go, man, we're not just gathering together and there's healing happening here.

There's joy that's happening here. And I think about everything that I've seen and everything that I've experienced. When this ministry happens, and man, it happens. When I get healed by the mindset, God formed in my misery. See, here's what I know. I know what it's like to be betrayed. Maybe you're like that. I know what it's like to be lied about. I know what it feels like to wonder if everything God spoke over your life is still true. See, for a long time, all I wanted God to do was change my circumstance. But he was more interested in changing my mind. Romans 12 says that we are transformed how by the renewing of our minds. Looking back now, I realize God wasn't just trying to get me out of a pit. He was making sure the pit didn't get into me. wasn't that he got out of the pit. It was that the pit never got into Joseph. His brothers couldn't put bitterness in him. Potiphers, a wife couldn't put revenge in him. The prison couldn't steal his hope. The waiting couldn't rob his faith because if this pit gets in you, you'll become what hurt you. Hear me, if this pit gets in you, you will become what hurt you and you will become the continuation

of the generational curse. You will be the one to continue the very thing that you prayed against. But if God gets in your pit, he will build something in you that no one can take away. He will build something in you that no one else can touch. If you break that curse, if you stand up today and say, "I am not gonna be like those who hurt me "because I see a bitterness justified on the inside of me, "but I'm sure those that hurt me, "they justified their own bitterness." So here I am today saying, "God, I don't want revenge on them. "I want healing in me. "I want to get this pit out of me "so I can be the husband that I'm called to be, "so I can be the father that I'm called to be, "so I can be the leader, the pastor, the friend, "the woman, the sister, the worker, the leader, "the boss that I'm called to be." (gentle music) - I'm sorry what happened to you. It shouldn't have happened. And it's not the end. It was miserable, but it was a moment. If you don't allow God to deal with him, that moment will become a lifetime.

If you say, "God, I need to heal. "I need to renew this mind." I need to stand to your feet. (gentle music) All of you that want prayer come to this altar. Come on. Come on. (gentle music) Here's what we need. (gentle music) We need to go from you trusting momentarily to trusting continually. 'Cause if we're being honest, it's easy to trust God in an environment like this. But until our minds are renewed, until the Holy Spirit washes over this mind and we allow those lies to be evicted and then choose every day, every day to bring our minds and our thoughts to God, we can break the loop and then step right back into it. Because what you don't realize about the loop is that the loop feels safe, but it's not safe, it's familiar, there's a difference. And if you're gonna break it, then you have to change the course, the direction, the decisions and the steps that you've been taken. Come on, lift up your hands. Holy Spirit, I pray that you would fall right now on my brothers and my system.

I pray that you would renew their mind. I pray that you would cleanse their minds. I pray, O Father God, that they would understand that they are loved, that they are seen, and that they are yours. I pray, O Father God, that they would no longer fixate on what happens. I'm not telling them to repress it. I'm not asking that they forget it. I am simply asking that you become our focus, that you would gain our attention, that we would not replay the worst moment of our life, but that you would fill us with hope right now, and you would fill us with your word right now, and you would show us what it is that you have for us in the name of Jesus. I pray for a cleansing to start happening. I pray that those lies would start to fall away right now. I pray that every deceptive idea, everything that has shown up as a form of help, but it's actually a distraction. I pray, O Father, God, that it would fall apart right now in the name of Jesus. I pray that you expose every relationship that they thought was saved that was actually hurtful. I pray you show us what it looks like to live renewed, to live committed, to be cleansed. I pray in the name of Jesus right now, that healing would start to happen all over the room. Even like we were singing earlier,

I pray that dead things would come alive right now. I pray that dead minds would come alive right now. I pray bitter minds would be healed right now. I pray broken thoughts would be shattered right now. I'm praying, O God, against every spirit of depression or anxiety or deception, that would try to control my brothers and my sisters, and I pray for healing to happen right now in the name that it is all possible through, in the name of Jesus. Would you touch them? Would you heal them? Would you turn their life around? Would you point them in the right direction? Would you provide for them the right answer? Would you show them that you are for them? Oh Father God, I pray that you would overwhelm them with your peace, with your joy, so that as their mind is renewed, then you'll be able to see all the good things that you're doing, and that you have for us in the precious and matches name of Jesus. Come on, if you agree with that, can you shout amen? Come on, shout amen!