Divorce

you know, busyness is the death of prayer. So true. Busyness is the death of prayer. That's a money shot. And then... Yep, that's a good one. And then, what I'm understanding is, is that it's a silent love, the practice of prayer. It's good. It's a silent love, like you are, because you taught us this last night and then... It's a secret love too. Yeah, it's secret love. Secret and silent, that's good. And it's, well, because in Matthew, was it Matthew 6, 5 and 8? Was that yesterday? Yeah. It's saying that we want to pray and we want to talk so much. And he says, don't talk so much because God already knows what you need. So you're like, wait a second. So I, what did I say? Oh, you don't need to say anything. What do you need to do? You need to be in a secret place and practicing silent love. Welcome to the Forgotten Jews Podcast. I'm your host, Adam French. I'm here with Pastor Robbie Gallaty and Candy Gallaty. And it's a little bit cooler in the studio. Last time it was, it was a Jamaica weather, nine degrees. There's a sun here. We were trying to keep up with the Nashville weather, which fluctuates every day you wake up.

Every day, it's something new. You never know what you're going to get in Nashville. I think our house was too hot the last night, by the way. Yeah. Did you notice that? We've got a nest system and the nest is supposed to learn what you want, but I'm always battling the nest because the nest should know better that we like it at a certain, like we like to, I like it at 68. I used to do 67, set the heat on 67, but I found that's a tad bit too cold. So I put on 68. That might be way too cold for Vivian. She's like, no, Vivian's a 72 in the house. Okay. Who's learning, you or Kandi? Because at my house, that would be, it would be confused. That may be the point. I said it when I go to bed, she resets it. No, I don't touch it. But I thought last night I needed to get up and go do something because I woke up at 4.30 and I was hot and that never happens. Wow. Were you not hot? I was up at 4.32 and I just got out of bed. I got out of bed at five. I laid there till five. He was going to pray for four hours. Well, the Lord got me up. When I wake up like that, I almost think that's the Lord like, you finally got to pray. Which I did, which was great. Just make sure you set it lower tonight.

What about you? What do y'all set yours at? We keep, it's basically 70 unless it's a, I like to turn mine off. If like, if it's set, if it's above 68 degrees outside, I'm turning mine off. Like as much as I can. Yeah. I keep mine off, but we keep it 70 all year. Try to, that's the goal. That's good. Chris, what do you set yours at? We set the heat to 63 at night. What? We like it. We like it really, really cool. Polar bears. No, they sleep with four giant covers. How many blankets? I have like two full blankets, but I sleep like a baby. I sleep like a baby. You got to get out of bed. Do y'all snuggle at night? Occasionally, but let's leave that for after the podcast. I guess because like some people like to snuggle. There you go. I'm getting warm right now just thinking about it. That's why Chris is always so happy and his hair is always flowing. He's like, I was snuggling last night. There's no snuggling. Yeah, we don't snuggle at the gala at all. I don't want to be touched.

Wait, wait, wait. How long have you been married? Two wonderful years. Get to year 20 and it's like, don't touch me. Well, it's not even candy. It's more me. I say don't touch me because I'm like a heater. I mean, I am hot. If you ever watched me preach, I'm sweating. That's why I wear dark shirts on Sunday because I'm sweating all the time. But I don't know why I'm walking around. I'm really cold. It's really great. But when I go to sleep, I like to roll over and be on my own. See, Josie's a heater. If you touch her, she's an oven, but she's always cold. That's funny. No, but he's always hot. It's crazy. Crazy. She grew up close to the equator, so I don't know. Maybe that's why. Yeah, she's probably used to that. To touch, her skin is hot. But then she's like bundled up. You can't even get to her. I'm like, what are you doing? I'm dying. I'm hot. Yeah.

She's like trying to heat up. I'm like, I can't even breathe. That's funny. 63, though. This is sub-Saharan Africa, baby. That's pretty cold. All right, we are moving into divorce. An easy topic today. That's what we're just talking about. Yeah, we are. Jesus, he didn't shy away from hitting the hard topics. But he's going to hit divorce today. Candy, can you quote verse 31, just for saving time? Verse 31? It was also said. It was also said that whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. But I tell you, anyone who divorces his wife, except in the case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Oh, that's good. OK. So what Jesus said, yeah, OK. So we're gonna recap a little bit what Jesus is doing with these you've heard it said I say to you remember what is he doing here just to ask you guys if you remember why is he doing this and he's gonna do six of them he's gonna do six in a row why does Jesus do it and by the way here's a little cool caveat why does he do six and not seven because Adam doing the six Chris you can be missed at the 6-7 I went into it if you have middle school boys or I mean high school boy they still act like middle school boys yeah it's all anytime you say six it's over but it's cool for them if we do it we're like okay but okay so why

six because the number six is the number of incompletion I think that's why I stopped there in a sense because he's giving you the Old Testament laws incomplete I'm gonna give you the I'm gonna interpret it correctly here's what I what do you think he's doing here why does he do this what is any interpreting it he's interpreting it but here's what he's doing he's getting to the heart to say you thought you guys checked all the boxes but you missed the core key box which is the heart issue so see they're saying oh yeah look at me I have no fault I didn't divorce my wife but but he would say yeah but you've got an intimacy less marriage you haven't been intimate okay I don't kill anybody yeah but you're angry you're critical okay I haven't not you know hated my I haven't hurt my bro yeah but you hated you you know I pray for you but you don't pray for you see I'm saying so he's saying you're saying this outwardly and what he's saying because they're saying look I'm innocent and Jesus says well actually you're guilty of this it's the I'm innocent you're guilty of what it's like the root it's like you're going down to the very root of sin or what the problem is Korea yeah exactly and they don't just normally go out and shoot somebody you know I'm saying or murder somebody it normally has to start somewhere so it's almost like he's taking it down to where it starts yeah what Jesus is saying is yes if you it's like it's like agriculture if you cut the tree or you cut the branches or you pull the leaves the trees not dead the only way to remove the tree from ever growing again is to eradicate the root and that's what he's getting to here the salon I always say is if you want to know the fruit of someone's life the fruit of your life reveals the root of your heart so you could tell me you're a Christian you could tell me you love Jesus you could tell me you love your wife Josie but I just have to watch how you treat her and I'll tell you what you if you love her or not you say you love Jesus just let me come spend a week with you I said this last Sunday just let me come to your house for a week and I'm gonna have a notebook and I'm not gonna say anything I'm just gonna observe from a distance and I'm just taking notes watching and I'm watching how you talk over dinner I'm watching at

night if you pray or not I'm watching if you decide for your kids or not watching how you talk to your family watching the way you talk to your wife when no one's watching I'm watching the way you speak to your kids I'm listening to the music you're just taking notes not saying a word just taking notes at the end of the week when I have enough evidence to convict you for the crime of Christianity or what I say I judged not enough evidence throw the case out right I mean that's really what we're talking about here but these guys would say but but here's the thing even that in and of itself it's not enough because what Jesus would say is the Pharisees who he's really calling out here they would check every proverbial box there was they were good and everything remember I'm glad I'm not like this joke over here who dirty old sinner here fast twice a day I get you know I pray three times remember the Pharisee and the tax collector and he I'm sorry I'm not like this guy oh so what he was saying is he was bringing his academic outward actions to the Lord and God says no no no I'll tell you the truth the one who went home justified was the one who admitted he had a problem this guy put his outward actions as kind of his persona before people but he missed the heart of the issue which was pride and arrogance and selfishness and you know all those things and so that's what the Jesus is addressing he's addressing people who outwardly look good right and act but it's all an act well okay so we were talking about this in my discipleship group last night talking about prayer okay we're talking about prayer and I told them that if you really boil it down it's the Lord wants like presence with him not performance right and I think that it kind of goes with this like the Pharisees were very performance driven because they knew if they performed a certain way they got accolades right or and your reward you're not gonna get a reward right you know you should be doing these things in secret they wanted the earthly reward yeah like recognition and accolades from people and so I was saying even in prayer like for me like prayer is like the one area you can go to God and you don't have to be in performance mode

or like wearing a hat of a role that you have in life, you truly get to just be you in the most real and authentic and genuine way. And I think when we go to the Lord in prayer, we almost have to remind ourselves like, this is just me and God here. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't have to be mom in this moment and I don't have to be pastor's wife in this moment or I don't have to be deager's leader. I just need to be me. And it's almost like you have to, cause we all perform to a certain extent. We're not trying to do that with bad intentions, but I think we can get caught up in performance based anything. And it's like, okay, I need to go to the Lord. I do not need to perform, like just be real and be me. And I think that was a struggle for some people like, you know, or everybody really, but especially someone like the Pharisees and stuff. Well, it's funny. She's saying, okay, so yesterday in our D group, Adam was talking about how guys at Recovery Refuge, and I don't want to share all their story, but they were just saying, this is, it's great. It's good, the prayer resource. We're talking about the practice of prayer book we're all going through at Long Hollow, if you're interested. But he was saying, and I'll let you share,

but he was saying they liked the book, but it brought them to a place of vulnerability and transparency that they were not, I'm taking words from you, but you share what they were saying, which is basically what she's saying. So yes, it's a good thing. You don't have to put on an act to come to the Lord. But the fact is when you get stripped of everything before the Lord, that's a scary place for some people. That's a scary, wasn't the guy saying something like that? Yeah, I think that, you know, busyness is being under Satan's yoke. And so that's connected to performance. And if you want to talk about that, if, you know, busyness is the death of prayer. So true. Busyness is the death of prayer. That's a money shot. And then, Yep, that's a good one. And then what I'm understanding is, is that it's a silent love, the practice of prayer. It's good. It's a silent love, like you are, because you taught us this last night, and then we- It's a secret love too. Yeah, it's secret love. Secret and solid, bro, that's good.

And it's, well, because in Matthew, was it Matthew 6, 5, and 8, was that yesterday? Yeah. It's saying that we want to pray, and we want to talk so much. And he says, don't talk so much, because God already knows what you need. So you're like, wait a second, so I, what did I say? Oh, you don't need to say anything. What do you need to do? You need to be in a secret place and practicing silent love, which is anti-culture, everything. And I think this is the whole reason, this is anti-culture, because is it Luke where they come to Jesus, and they say, well, Moses told us to give our wives a certificate of divorce? Exactly. And they're saying, are you going against Moses? Because they were actually trying to catch him. Yes. They're saying, well, let's take our academia, let's take our rules, let's take our religion, let's use it against him. He's like, what? And just like you said, he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're missing it. This whole thing is about being with the Father,

sitting with Him and instructing Him. And when we be with the Father, if you want to say what's the best thing for my marriage, my silent time with God. Because He's the one that convicts me. I can justify everything. I can find a book, I can find a quote, I can find a YouTube page that says, hey, I deserve this. Somebody's put it out there, you know what I mean? So I love that we're going through these one by one, slowly and quietly, and you're saying, this isn't a political issue, this isn't an academic issue, this isn't a rules thing. Not a government issue, yeah. It's none of that. Jesus is going, where's your heart at? You know, it's funny. I think I remember Russell Irwin, who's on our staff, when he would counsel couples in crisis for their marriage, he said he would never ask them, how much time do you spend with your spouse? He would start by asking the husband and the wife, how much time have you spent with the Lord this past week? Yeah. It all stems from that. Man, we got a lot of things going on. Come on, now. We are on it today.

Hey, the temperature's right in here, man. Well, let me tell you what it is. I don't want to call it out, but we changed our podcast time. I'm just saying. Of recording. Of recording, sorry, let me clarify. From Monday afternoon, after a four-service long, we're all busy, Adam's got Monday stuff. I mean, we're all busy, and I'm not against Monday, but we now are later in the week and later in the day. I just feel, we're fresh, we're fresh. But here's the thing, you're right. What you're getting at is, he's saying, I want a relationship, all about relationships. They have allowed rules to supersede the relationship. Jesus, you know it, is getting back to the relationship. Now, here's the thing. There were two views in the two prominent rabbis before Jesus' day. Okay, see if you remember these names. No, you know him, don't say him yet. But there were two prominent rabbis that had, so, and again, you would say one was, and they always were against each other, it's funny. They were always opposing each other. Jesus sides most with one, except one time. One time. Are they in the Bible? No, they're not in the Bible.

Or they're in like? It's Jewish culture. It's the Mishnah? It's gonna be. They rabbi so-and-so and rabbi so-and-so, okay? You said it before on the podcast, but I don't remember. Okay, so, rabbi who? Akiva. Akiva, that's a good one. No, rabbi Akiva, I think he was the one who wrote the Mishnah, compiled the Mishnah. That's good, though. Come on, Akiva. No, rabbi, he was good. Okay, rabbi Yocanot. Yocanot, no, that's another rabbi, too. Rabbi Hillel, Vivian, do you know the other one? Hillel, Robert? Hillel's the last thing I know. Okay, Hillel's the easier one. Y'all are good. Shamai, rabbi Shamai, rabbi Hillel. These are prominent rabbis, by the way. A lot of Christians don't know this, but these were the two mainstream rabbis of the day. And it's funny because, okay, so to follow a rabbi, remember, when you, well, this is just a clarification. When you're saying, when Jesus says, come follow me, and you accept the call to follow the rabbi,

what you're taking, the technical term in English is you're taking upon yourself the yoke of that rabbi. So the yoke was a picture of two oxen, you know, and the yoke, where they would pull, one would pull, the other would pull. That's what a yoke is. But a yoke is, you're gonna put on your back, you're gonna put your head in and bear on your back the yoke or the teaching or the expectation of a rabbi. That's what it means. Now, think about when Jesus says, come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, I'll give you rest, for my- Yoke is easy. Yoke is easy, my burden is light. What he's saying is, compared to the other rabbis with rules and regulations and stipulations, mine is light, guys. In fact, mine is love your neighbor, love God. See what I'm saying? His yoke is light. Now, but what that meant, but in Jesus' day, they had two major streams of rabbis, of rabbi, Rabbi Shammai, Rabbi Hillel. A lot of times they're against each other, okay? Rabbi Shammai said that a man was justified in legally severing his marriage only if the wife engaged in adultery. So, and Jesus, if I'm not, fact check me, Robert, I'm pretty sure he always signs with Shammai

and he one time signs with Hillel. And if I remember right, I can't remember if it was years ago, it was when he says, love your neighbor as yourself or something like that, which is obvious, okay? Rabbi Hillel, on the other hand, said, a man was justified in divorcing his wife for any grounds whatsoever, for any reason, if he wanted to, i.e., here's the line in the Mishnah, if a man comes home and his wife is cooking dinner and burns, or cooking breakfast and burns the toast, that is biblical grounds for divorce. Literally what a rabbi, what the rabbi says. And talk about what that meant for the wife, because culturally, if she's divorced, what does that mean to her? So that was a death sentence in a sense, because a divorced wife back then, I mean, there's no food stamps, I mean, it was the responsibility of the culture to take care of a widow, obviously, but again, it's a death sentence, which is why Ruth and Naomi's story is so profound, because they lost the husband and the brother-in-law and the dad. These two women are like, they're X'd out of, they're done, they're the lowest of, they're the last two to ever get help, and then they come in, and then, you know, which Boaz brings them in as the kinsmen redeemer,

and what a picture, they didn't earn it, they don't deserve it, they're not good enough, but he brings, okay, so anyway, so the first discussion stemmed from, you called it, Deuteronomy 24.1, so Kandi, turn to Deuteronomy 24.1, okay? So Jesus is calling to mind that passage, okay? Both parties, Shammai and Hillel, explained the passage, spoke of the exception clause. So in this passage, as you said, there is an exception clause, you're gonna see this, for the husband identifying the wife with a problem. The Pharisees suggested that the husband put the adulterous wife away immediately, right, like divorce her and get rid of her, but Jesus disagrees with all of these points. He doesn't buy any of them, okay? And so the idea is, when you gave a person, a wife, a certificate of divorce, another way to say it is a bill of divorce, it had to be signed publicly in front of witnesses. Now, you may remember this, because if you remember, and Joseph and Mary were together, and the written letter of divorce, or the bill of divorce was not just for married couples. It also was reserved for betrothed or engaged couples. So when you got engaged in the first century, it was as good as marriage. The only way to break off an engagement was to issue. a letter of divorce signed publicly with witnesses for all to see, okay?

So that's why when Joseph says, he hears or sees Mary's pregnant and you know, he's trying to figure out, here's what it says. Joseph being a just man was unwilling to put his wife to shame, so he resolved to divorce her quietly. Divorce her, wait a minute, they're not married. That's because they're betrothed, okay. So the passage in question here is this. Deuteronomy 24, now let me just, now stay with me, don't shoot me yet, but God did not in this passage completely forbid divorce. Stay with me. He never encouraged divorce, but he never, you're gonna see him, just call it for what it is. And, but what the Pharisees do and Shammai and Hillel do, they take it to, you know, to the extreme and I'm gonna show you where Jesus brings us back center. So Deuteronomy 24, one, can you read through verse four? Listen to this. If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her and send her away from his house. If after leaving his house, she goes and becomes another man's wife and the second man hates her, writes her a divorce certificate, hands it to her and sends her away from his house,

or if he dies, the first husband who sent her away may not marry her again after she has been defiled because that would be detestable to the Lord. You must not bring guilt on the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance. Keep going or no? Is that four? That's through four. Okay, so when we study scripture, it's important for us to remember we're studying scripture in a unit. These are not haphazard separate, so you gotta train yourself when you're studying the New Testament and we're gonna walk through the Old Testament as a church, but you gotta train yourself to do this. You've gotta train yourself when Jesus or Paul or James or John quote a passage from the Old Testament. It's important to put the text back in context. Here's a rule of preaching we abide by. Adam, you're the same way, expository teacher as well like me. Here's the thing. A text out of context is a pretext for a proof text, meaning you can take a text out of its context, pretext before the context and prove whatever you want. So the context of this passage in the divorce, remarriage, adultery idea is this. Here's what Jesus is saying.

You need to think long and hard about divorcing your spouse. Why? Because once you put her away, she will become the wife of another man. And it's at that point, if you realize you have made a mistake, it's too late. You cannot take her back. Even if she's rejected by the new husband, even if he dies, according to the Lord, she can never be yours again. Now here's the emphasis. The emphasis is not on the divorce. The emphasis in Deuteronomy is on the regret you will feel. This is what I tell people about divorce. Now some of you listening, you're like, man, I'm divorced and remarried, whatever. Divorce is not the unpardonable sin. You have to understand this. Everybody makes mistakes. It could be your fault. It could be your spouse's fault. It could be both of your fault. Probably there's some fault on both sides. Right, okay. The challenge with divorce is not an unforgivable sin. Divorce is not gonna send you to hell. You gotta hear what I'm saying because some people say, divorce, God hates divorce. No, it doesn't send you to hell.

Unfortunately, at times, it's gonna make you feel like you're in hell, okay. And those who are divorced know what I'm talking. Here's what I mean. It exaggerates, it amplifies issues when you have other things involved. For example, if you have a lot of money, just look at Hollywood. The divorces are horrible when you're trying to separate. I was watching something the other day about Johnny Depp and his, it's crazy, I don't wanna get into Hollywood, but he had this crazy wife. You heard this story that married him and they were married for 18 months, tried to take everything he owned. And I was like, so I was watching that thinking, think about the connection of just the layers of just finances and property. But think about this, then you add kids and then you add visitation rights and then you add new spouses. So it's not that divorce is the unpardonable sin, it doesn't send you to hell, but it will create a feeling of guilt and shame that you may carry with you the rest of your life. So that's why Jesus is saying, listen, you need to be thinking, one is you need to think before you get married, but two, you need to really be thinking

before you divorce your spouse. Now, when a person, according to Jesus, divorces his spouse for any other reason than adultery, he causes her to commit adultery. Now, Jesus is assuming that the divorcees after would seek remarriage and states, it begins with them committing adultery because the divorce was not valid in God's eyes. That's why the adultery part comes in. Why would you cut your marriage off with your wife and then she marries someone else? I think what he's saying is because the divorce is not valid in God's eyes because you didn't do it for the right. reasons. You did it for selfish reasons. And the key here is the key word is the word indecency in Deuteronomy. Some translations say Matthew uses sexual immorality. Deuteronomy uses indecency or something of that nature. Okay, sexual immorality. Sexual immorality is the word pornea, okay. In the strict sense, it's sexual immorality, okay. But the question we have to ask and answer is what is sexual immorality in a marriage, right? Let me say it another way. What does unfaithfulness in a marriage mean? Is it sleeping with a woman or a man who's not your husband or wife? Yeah, of course that's it. Is it having a relationship with someone who is of the same sex? I would say that's pornea too. That's sexual immorality. Is it incest? Yes. Is it fornication? Is it prostitution? See what I'm saying? Is it looking at prostitution? Okay, these are questions we have to ask. And I would say all of these actions are permissible for divorce, okay. Not that you have to get a divorce, but I'm saying you would have biblical grounds according to God. And the one that's hard for people is pornography, okay. Because you see different people respond different ways. Some wives, when their husband's looking at porn, they'll just, it's over. And

again, and I get it, because what happens is you break the trust and your love and desire and affection. You move from giving that to your spouse to giving that to an idol, in a sense, a picture. So the English word pornea is actually, can be translated as pornography. Who knew? And if you're listening here and you're a guy, 80% of you, according to statistics, struggle with this. 80% of guys struggle with this. 40% of women, I think. What is it? Yeah. The women statistics has grown, I think, in years past. Now don't, now hear what the word's not saying. It's not saying, when Jesus uses the tense of the verb, it's not a one-time thing. It's not falling into this. It's not a person who's not trying to battle this to get out of it. This is a person who is continually in infidelity, not from a single act, but from a repeated, you're a repeated offender and you're obstinate to getting help. I know people who struggle with pornography. They want to get help. We know this. People with addiction, they want help, but they can't for whatever reason. That's not what he's, he's not talking about a person who's saying, hey, I got a porn addiction, I don't want help. This is a person who's willingly doing this, committed it, and is unrepentant, in a sense. And so Jesus says, if you have a person in a relationship that is unfaithful in that way, sexual immorality, you have biblical grounds for divorce. That's, I think, what he's saying here. And you have to know, whether you do it or not, it's still going to cause issues. Guilt, shame, pain, anger, resentment, jealousy. We know people like this. We have friends like this. I mean, imagine. And whether you've been done to, or if you've caused the problem, it's, it's still tough to do. Yeah. Unfortunately, divorce is so common that, you know, even when we're talking about this, you know, I don't think we understand. Let me say it this way. I think it, it almost nullifies the disgrace. Like, it's, divorce has become so common, and marriage is so not as sacred, that we don't look at looking at pornography or having a relationship with another person outside of our marriage as a disgrace. So essentially, when you get married, or when I get, when I got married, I made a covenant with God. And we've been talking about all of our podcasts. God, it's not, you talk, maybe it was your sermon this Sunday. Not

only is it, does God really concern with our relationship? He's very, very concerned with how we treat other people. This whole book is about that. He's literally saying if, oh yeah, you can come to me and pray and, and check all the spiritual boxes, but if you're absolutely cruel and mean to other people, hold on a second, this isn't real. This is fake. That's good. And so I think when we, that, that's where we've gotten in our culture. Yeah. Where, if I step outside of my marriage, and the reason why Josie would have grounds for that, because I have a, I have literally disgraced her. We had made a covenant before God and made a commitment, and then I, then I disgraced that. I broke that. I severed that by my actions. Now, out of her grace and her mercy and her love, if she wants to reconcile, she wants to do that, yes, but there will be issues that will continue. It will be a forever journey walking through that. Can you get to a place of freedom? Yes, but there always will have to be rules. There have to be barriers put up, and so, you know, I think that, you know, when you read this, you may think, oh, that may kind of hit you in the face, but when you look at what marriage truly is, especially in this culture, I think it makes total sense. The only thing that kind of is confusing to me, and maybe you can speak on this, is in Deuteronomy 24, the word displeasing, I don't know what that word means in Hebrew. That was a little interesting to me, that if your wife is... I don't understand the gap. If you're saying that you can divorce your wife for anything, and then, I don't know, in Scripture Jesus says Moses only did that because your heart was far from God. So is He saying, okay, you guys were so hard-hearted that He gave you... He just gave you that because He didn't want to deal with it? Or that's why I'm kind of confused on how that all happened with the word displeasing there. I think you nailed it. I think what we're seeing here is Jesus is saying, you could say you love the Lord, and I may even believe you, but the way you love the person nearest to you... By the way, when Jesus says, love your neighbor as yourself, do you know if you're a married man or woman that your neighbor is actually nearest one? It's your wife. It's your husband. That's your first love.

Neighbor nearest one is your spouse, and then your kids, right? Start there. And most people want to go love the man or woman down the street, and then neglect the people who live in their home, right? But I think you've nailed it. What Jesus is saying is, to prove your faithfulness to God, you're going to demonstrate with your faithfulness to your spouse, and if you're unfaithful to your spouse, there's a deeper symptom here. You're definitely not faithful to God, because you can't even keep your vow to a human being. How are you going to keep it to me? I think that's what he's saying. Now, the question we have to ask and answer is... And the thing about divorce too is, God gives an exception, right? But then you're probably listening and saying, well, that's not why I got divorced. In fact, I had a lady one time when I preached at Long Hollow. She came up to me because I said, the Bible says there's no biblical grounds for divorce except sexual immorality. Well, that's what the Bible says, right? That's what Jesus said. And she came up to me, and she was upset I didn't say this, and she's right, but she said, I got out of my marriage because it was a life-or-death situation of abuse. What do I do? And I say, well, that is another grounds. If your life is in danger, and it's whether you live or die from abuse, or you're a victim, or you're being beat, and you need to get out. I don't care. You leave me, woman. You know, God's... No, forget that. You leave because your life is more important than being in that relationship with Him. I think at the end of the day, there's no sin that's not forgivable. And when we get to the unpardonable sin, you're going to realize the unpardonable sin can't be committed today. That's a whole other sermon. We'll get to that when we get to it, Matthew chapter 12. But every sin is forgivable. Okay, here's how sin works. Every sin's forgivable, but even if God forgives you of sin, sin comes with a price tag, a consequence. Okay, you know this. And some sin are different. All sin is sin in the eyes of God, but the severity of sin increases the consequences of sin. If I tell a white lie, it might not be bad. I lie on my taxes and get caught. That's a big deal. I may lie about, you know, my age. That's one

thing. You lie on your resume, you may never get a job. You see what I'm saying? So the severity comes with bigger consequences, right? Yeah. Okay, so this is my thought. All right, so we know God obviously holds accountable for sin. So, and you said there's no sin that's like unforgivable, like when it comes to divorce and that sort of thing. All right, so just kind of for example's sake, if a woman leaves and pursues divorce because of life and death situation like this woman that came up to you, you know, and you may not know the answer to this, but the sin that will be held accountable in that relationship should be the man who is causing her to be in a life or death situation. You see what I'm saying? So like, in my mind, I'm thinking... Not her fault. She's a victim. Correct. And I'm like, if you, even if she's the one who goes and files for divorce, like you're trying to take my life or whatever, this is... No, I agree. I totally agree. So it's like the sin that will be, at the end of time, let's say, if God's going to talk to the two of them, it's going to be, you did this. You were not treating your wife as Christ does the church. You see? You're responsible for this. So in that, and this is just me. I mean, I could be totally wrong here, but in my mind, I'm like, will she be held accountable for a divorce that she had to get out of because he was not, he was the one that was in sin or vice versa? Well, there's two. Okay. Yeah. So let's say they're both Christians. Let's just hypothetically, they're both Christians. Well, I have a hard problem with thinking that someone's a Christian and beating or about to take the life of somebody. Now, they could be, but I'm like, what kind of Christian are you? Okay. No. Okay. Well, okay. That's true. They're not practicing, uh, potentials of Christianity, that's for sure. What I'm saying is, let's say at the end of life, they both accept Christ or let's just... Let's just, I'm just, this isn't easy. You're saying like later in life, after all this? Yeah, it's an easier answer to do both Christians

and non-Christians. Non-Christians, we, okay, so here's what I mean, both Christians. Let's say they're both believers. Let's say they either, she was a Christian, he wasn't, and he came to faith in Christ, for example. Here's my point. My point is, if they are born again, then Christ paid for all sin. Right. They're not gonna pay for the price for that sin. However, they will pay, there will be a price to pay in this respect. Either A, they're gonna suffer consequences on earth by their actions, him or her or both, but two, they're not gonna receive rewards to the degree they could have because of those actions. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. So it's not that, because when a person truly surrenders and confesses their sin to God, he doesn't hold it against them as far as on their sin debt. Their sin debts wipe away, their record's gone. However, there are consequences, and you may see those consequences here in the form of punishment and guilt and shame and all these things you kind of go through, not by God, but you'll go through, or of the removal of or lack of reward in heaven of authority and dominion and ownership in heaven.

So yes, there's a price to pay for it. I mean, you're gonna pay the price for it as far as that, but yeah. Don't you think it's important to like talk, and maybe we've talked about this before, but in this context of the picture of what marriage is to the world. Yeah, no, I'm getting to that. I wanna finish with these two things and we're done. Okay. I think it's good. I wanna say one thing. I think also, too, that just one passage in Jesus talking with the Pharisees, we don't wanna take this and say, we're gonna discard the rest of Scripture when it comes to how we have relationships with God's people. So when you talk about, are there other grounds for divorce, I would think when you look at the wealth of Scripture in entirety, if someone's beating you, I think there's other, I think that Jesus, that's what I think. I think there's room for other things. This is a specific conversation. Correct. He's pointing out in the Pharisees

because they're using this in a way that is way, it's ungodly. Right. And so he's pointing that out. And so, yes, I would say there's no way in Scripture you could justify someone in a relationship who's being beaten. Right, right. Or burning your toast. Yeah, and yeah, burning your toast. Right, yeah. It's the same opposite. Don't get married because they didn't. They didn't even have toast back then. That was just an excuse to like, if you're gonna submit a certificate of divorce because your wife burnt your toast, you're just looking for something. Yeah, true. Well, there you go. And so there's a bigger problem. She's meddling now. She's meddling now. There's a bigger problem. Well, I would say, yeah, what Jesus is doing is raising the bar. Remember, he's saying, you guys are lowering the bar. I'm trying to raise the bar because I'm showing you something.

He says it's a hard issue. It's a hard issue. So Jesus is calling back to Matthew 2 when it says, for this, 2.23, for this reason a man shall leave his mother and father and become one union flesh with his spouse. The two become one, basically. Here's what I would say, because some people listening would say, man, I'm still married. I've been married for 30 years. Great. Are you intimate? Because marriage is intimate, okay? It's a relationship. We know people, I know people who've been married for 30 years. The moment the kids move out the house, they get a divorce. Why? Because they were not intimate with their spouse. They were consumed with their kids. They were consumed with their, so I would say you could still be legally married, but are you relationally intimate? When was the last time you went on a date day with your spouse? When was the last time you went on a romantic evening with your spouse? When was the last time you went on a trip,

just the two of you, just alone, without the kids? Well, my kids are little. Well, don't get mad at us, but I think we left our kids on our first vacation when they were, what, two, three months? I left Rick to go on a mission trip when he was six months. I never struggled like that. We put him in the nursery the day they could take him. Six weeks, he was in, baby. Six weeks at the gym, I was hitting the weights. JR was 13 days old, JoJo was like seven, and I think Stella, when she came out, we're like, we're in church. Well, here's the thing, this is really important, though. This is what we're talking about. I was not going to completely lose myself in becoming a mom, do you know what I mean? I love my kids with every fiber of my being, and I would do anything for them, but I was not going to completely lose who I was. Your identity, yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Your purpose, your passion. Yeah, I was still going to take care of myself, or do things, you know? People do, that's a good way to say it. Yeah, I just felt like they were going to be fine. God had led me to go on this mission trip. Rick was six months old.

He was going to be perfectly fine, and he was. I was still home, though, right? No, we were together. Oh, we were together, sorry. Honey, you never wanted to stay home with the kids. Listen, I remember the first time. He was calling me. I remember the first time Candy decided. The first time I left to go to dinner with some friends. I think Rick was like two months old. Two months old. I don't know if he was that old. Not either, probably a month old. He might have been a little older, actually. Maybe a month. I don't know. He was young. He was young enough where I was nervous, and Candy said, now, babe. Here's the deal, this is his schedule. I was like, babe, I don't know what to do by myself. I'm like, you got this, I promise. So, look, one hour, 30 minutes in. One hour in. Hello? Babe, I can't get him to stop crying over here, he's screaming, you know. I'm like, can I just go out to dinner, like one time with my friends. Oh, like Robbie was the worst.

It wasn't you, it was her. He wanted his mama. He wanted his mama, apparently, he loved his mama. Robbie was a nervous wreck when the kids were little. I mean, to this day, Robbie is still scarred from the time they were zero to four. It's not even a lie, I am not lying. He was a nervous dad. Now, he was a good dad, he was a great dad, but he was a nervous dad that did not like to be left in charge. Well, you ever see a gorilla with her babies? I mean, that gorilla can hurt the babies bad, and I just thought. So, don't invite Robbie to your conference to speak about the kids ministry. That's where I pick up babies at church. You never see me pick up a baby at church, because I know my limitations, but anyway. Once they got a little older, we were good, babe. All right, marriage is intimate, this is the last one we're done. Marriage is permanent, okay? And marriage is a picture of the gospel. This is the reason. The reason you shouldn't divorce, according to Jesus, is because marriage, and Paul says this either, marriage is a mystery, it is a picture of the gospel. The husband is a picture of Christ, the wife is a picture of the church,

and when you come together, you show the wonderful picture of our relationship to the Father with how we live in our marriage. The greatest sermon, I heard one of my MAC team members tell me this, the greatest sermon you will ever preach to Long Hollow is your marriage. That's what he told me, and he said, he told that to David Landreth when he was here. The greatest sermon you're gonna preach when you leave Long Hollow, they won't remember a sermon, but they will remember your marriage, if it was a God-honoring marriage, okay? So, you gotta realize, so here's what happens. When you get a divorce, when the wife leaves the husband, she's saying, as a picture of the church, that Jesus isn't good enough, Jesus doesn't satisfy, so I'll go look somewhere else, which is never the case. And then when a husband leaves his wife, the husband is saying that he doesn't care or love the church, which is not the case. That Jesus abandons the church. Or Jesus worse, abandons the church, which he never does. See, it's bigger than, you know, David Platt, my friend says, marriage is bigger than your happiness. Marriage is more about your holiness before God. That's good. Marriage, God wants you, obviously, wants to be happy. But your marriage is a picture of holiness to your kids and your family members around you.

John Stott says, it seems far likely, scholar, that the exception clause, the absence from Mark and Luke is due, because Mark and Luke, they don't put the exception. They don't put, except a woman can get divorced, except. What he says is, the reason Mark and Luke don't include the exception is not from their ignorance, but that their acceptance of it is something that is taken for granted. Meaning, you knew this already, so I don't have to repeat that. Unless there's immorality, you can get a divorce. And so, I thought that was pretty good to think about. So just remember, it's way bigger than just, I don't like her, I like someone else. And by the way, just a reminder, the reason the grass is greener on the other side of the fence is because it's filled with more. Poop. Poop, according to. Manure. That's a nice way. That's a very nice way of saying it. Take care of your yard, too, right? Take care of your yard, your yard would look better. Yeah, you tend to your yard, your lawn will look a whole lot better instead of being mad at it. I think it's a great place to kind of stop,

and we'll come back and further some stuff next week. But if you're listening and you enjoy this content, we do ask, if you want to help us get this out, and if you're enjoying this, if you could please subscribe, hit the subscribe button, like, share, comment. Maybe you have a friend who has gone through a divorce. Maybe you have someone who's struggling right now. Maybe you could send this to them and just say as a word of encouragement. And just to see, this is what Jesus says about divorce. So thank you so much for tuning in as we learn more about The Forgotten Jesus.