6 Principles to Build a Happy, Holy, and Lasting Marriage

Well, I want you to take out your notes today. We are starting a four-week series to help your relationships. We titled this series From This Day Forward. We're gonna make some commitments. We're gonna make some decisions to help your relationships get better. Specifically, we're gonna lean into marriage, and we're gonna really help build strong marriages at Radiant Church. We know where the church are sized, that many people are in different seasons of life. Some of y'all are single, and you're looking to get married. I saw you even during worship, you were checking out the rings. Their hands are raised, trying to figure it out. This is the right place to be. I just want you to know, we're gonna help you figure out exactly what you should be looking for when we talk about marriage. I actually get some of our greatest feedback in marriage series from the singles in our church, because they go, okay, now I know what to aim for. And then if those that are married, and you just wanna build a stronger marriage, this is the series for you. Take a lot of notes. Sometimes you're gonna use your elbow

to kind of bump your spouse a little bit. Hey, hey, listen, because this is important. Don't do that. Just take it in yourself. There's another group of people that you're married, but you wish you were single. This is definitely the series for you. We're gonna help you. And then there's those that are all in different seasons of life. There's people that have gone through traumatic divorce, and struggles, and widows in our church, and you're in just different seasons. Take a lot of notes. I believe God's got something special for your life today. And I'm gonna start it off by giving you a message I simply titled Six Principles to Build a Happy, Holy, and Lasting Marriage. Six principles to building a happy, holy, and lasting marriages. Let me just let you understand, anyone can get married. That doesn't mean it's a happy, holy, and lasting marriage. Getting married actually is not that hard. You go to the courthouse, pay the fee, you can get married. I wanna help you make a happy, holy, and lasting marriage. And I'm gonna do something that I have never done before in 12 years of Radiant Church. I was writing content for this, and there was so much content to give that I'm gonna do the first message

of this series in two parts. So it's gonna be confusing. All right, it's four weeks long, but I'm gonna do this message in two parts, because I'm gonna give you three principles today, and then three principles next Sunday. So you can't miss next Sunday. Your marriage will go from bad to average this week. But next week, it'll go from average to great. So you need all six principles. So let's dive into them. The Bible says it this way in Matthew chapter seven. Therefore, if anyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice, like we gotta apply it, it's like a wise man, say wise man, who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, the winds blew against and beat against the house, yet it didn't fall. Like the storm came up, and it survived the storm. Why? Because its foundation was on the rock, right? It had the right foundation. But then there was another man, he says to everyone who hears these words of mine and doesn't put them into practice, so you don't have the right foundation, it's like a foolish man who builds his house on the sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, the winds blew and beat against the house,

and it fell with a great crash. Jesus was very clear in this passage. He didn't say, if storms come. He's like, when storms come. When the storm comes, when it comes to your life, you gotta make sure the foundation is correct. When it comes to your marriage, you gotta make sure the foundation is correct. And my concern with the world that we're in today and the crises that are going on in the world today, that your marriage is under attack. There is storms that are happening, and they are falling apart left and right because they're built on the wrong thing. What you build the marriage on really, really matters. It reminds me of the food pyramid. How many remember the food pyramid that they taught us in school growing up? All right, when I was growing up, they taught us this food pyramid right there. And I remember seeing this. It was like, okay, the foundation of everything you have should be carbs. How many know? How many know you just train a whole generation to just go, everything we do is just carbs? And we were happy people, weren't we? We were a little big, but we were happy. Come on, to the glory of God. And it was just, hey, build it on carbs,

put a little vegetables on there, some meats, and then all your oils and stuff like that. And we built this whole thing. And then they realized decades later, I mean, if you stop, follow this, it's unreal, that we actually trained an entire generation wrong. Like, hey, your plate shouldn't be filled with just all pasta. Like, I know it's awesome. Now, all these sourdough moms are like, we've been doing it right. You're wrong, okay? You gotta have some, but then they realized that, hey, it's actually built wrong. The bread should actually be the add-on, not the foundation. Like, it should be part of the meal, but not the whole meal. Does that make sense? It's the same for your relationships. We actually trained an entire. generation of people and how to do relationships and we built it on a pyramid and it says hey start with the physical. Are you attracted to them? Do they look good? Do they give you butterflies? And we we train people like it was love at first sight. Yeah yeah that's a little weird. There's no love at first sight. It's lust at first sight. There's no real love there. You got little butterflies but we trained them. Hey you build it on the physical and by the way when the physical goes away or when something happens with the physical the relationship is broken. You built it

on the wrong thing and then you got to oh are we emotionally connected? Does he meet his needs? And then are we socially connected? Do we have the right friends? Do we have the right hobbies? And then oh by the way is he a Christian? I don't know. I think I heard him pray before a meal one time and we wonder why our relationships are broken. The reality is is we have trained a whole group of people to build a relationship on the wrong thing. Something's the foundation of your relationship and my challenge for you is over this series is get this spiritual in the right place. Get this spiritual as the foundation that we have this spiritual foundation to build a healthy relationship so when the storms come you can survive this thing. And then you build it off this spiritual and then you want to make sure you're emotionally connected, you're socially connected, and by the way yes praise God you want a physical connection there. But don't make that the main thing. Make that as a blessing of the relationship. And so you got to build it right and here's why it all matters. You can write it down because lasting relationships aren't built on perfection. They are built on godly principles. So it's not just on this idea of I've got to figure it out to make it look right. I actually got to evaluate the foundation to make sure it is right. So when storms come and trials come and difficulty comes like it happens to all of us, we are not making pressure decisions. We are not making personal decisions. We are making principle-based decisions that our relationship is built on God and is spiritual and the foundation of what it is. And from that we build a relationship that lasts. Are y'all with me today church? So let's run through these six. I'll give you three of them this week, three next week. Number one, the principles that make a

relationship last. Number one is that it's got to be Christ-centered. Christ-centered. This one central truth is foundational for a healthy marriage. That Christ is the center of a relationship that truly can thrive and survive any storm that comes its way. You've got to understand every relationship has something that's holding it together, has some kind of common bond that's connecting it. I remember meeting a couple in pre-marriage. I'm like, what do y'all have in common? They're like, the office. We're like Jim and Pam. I was like, that's awesome, it's cute. And then every reference they made was about the office. And then I remember sitting there thinking, when they stop liking the office, I think this relationship's over. This is the the core of who they were, was that this was what they were all about. And that's kind of a joke in the sense of like their relationship. But I wonder, what is it in your relationship that holds it together? It's, oh, we're both in this career field. Oh, we both like these kind of hobbies. Oh, we both have this kind of, this ladder of success we're climbing. We're aggressive people. And that, hear me out, it's these kids. They are the third party that holds this thing together. I find it very interesting that when couples come in and they're struggling in their relationship, they're like, we're really struggling. We can't connect. We think the solution is to have children. I'm like, please don't add children to your dysfunctional mess. Like that will solve the problem. The Bible says it very clearly. It says, though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves, and a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. I want you to think of this, this idea. One is overpowered, two can defend themselves, but three strands is not quickly broken. So think of it this way. This is your life. This is who you are. And this is the individualistic

lifestyle that the world tells us to be. And the reality is, is by yourself, you're quickly, you're quickly broken. You snap quickly. And that's the reality of life. That's why you got to have community. It doesn't mean everybody's called to get married, but you are called to not live alone. You are called to make Make sure you're not isolated in the world because the enemy's got you beat if he's got you isolated. So then you go, I know the solution is I'll get connected with somebody. So you find that guy, you find that girl, you find that friend, you find that person, you go, together, it's me and Johnny, we'll change the world, we're on our own. We don't need community, we don't need anybody else, it's just us against the world. And the reality is is when it's just you two, the Bible says you can defend yourselves but you're not gonna last, it's gonna snap. Because it's never created to be just you two. Well then you add a third party to it. So you go, okay, I've gotta have a solution because I want a strand of three cords, that's what it says, it's not easily broken. So you add a third party, you add a business, you add kids, you add something to the equation, and you're stronger. Some of you, you were about to get a divorce and you got those kids and it's kept you a little stronger than you were before. But the reality is is that third cord matters.

Because eventually, it's gonna snap. Because you don't have a third cord that can actually survive the trials of this world. So then that's where God comes in the equation. So when you have God in the equation, we have a cord that actually matters, that actually can sustain some things, then when you put God in your marriage, and you have this relationship, it doesn't matter how weak you are individually, when God's at the center of it, you can still survive this thing. Y'all with me today, church? And here's why this matters. This isn't just an inspirational Ted Talk to help your marriage, it's actually a fact. It's a fact that proves itself in statistics. 50% of all marriages end in divorce, that is a fact. So if you get married, you have a one in two shot of making it. Now let me help you divorce proof your marriage. It actually gets cut in half when you add one practice to your marriage. It goes from 50% to 26% of marriages that actually go to church together end in divorce. So you being in the room together at church gives you a double the shot of the marriage lasting. That's how vital it is that you make church a habit of your life. But you still go, but Aaron, I still got a one in four shot.

How do I better my odds? I can actually help you divorce proof your marriage by adding just one more thing to the equation. It goes from one in four to one in 1,500 marriages that regularly attend church together and, write it down, and pray together end in divorce. One practice of putting God in the middle of your equation, of praying together as a couple, will divorce proof your marriage. And this is a fact. They studied these couples, and it was couples that daily took a time to grab each other's hands and say, let's pray about that. It's almost impossible to find one that got a divorce. It shows how powerful it is when God is in the middle of a marriage. Now let me just address something, and I really wanna especially talk to the men in the room, at every campus. I'm gonna challenge you as a man of God, because men, this is our responsibility to pray with our spouse. It's our responsibility. Men are very quiet in this Presbyterian church today. We're gonna help it. Have you ever thought about why it is awkward to pray with your spouse? It's awkward because the enemy is working overtime at making you feel awkward so you don't do something to actually divorce proof your marriage.

He is working overtime to make you feel like it is weird for you to grab hands of that person that you love so much, and invite the presence of God in, so that God can move in the middle of that marriage. And I'm telling you, men, there's no greater thing you're gonna do for your family than to be the priest of that home, to step up in times where it is difficult, and grab the hand of that spouse, and say, we're gonna pray, and we're gonna invite God into this. We're gonna invite God into our parenting. We're gonna invite God into our home. We're gonna invite God into our finances. I'm not gonna leave it to the world. I'm gonna be a man of God that steps up and leads my family into righteousness, because that's what God's called us to do. So we've gotta have moments where we step up and go, this is what God's called us to do. And I'll tell you, I'm a pastor, and I still have that awkward sense once in a while where Katie and I will be sitting there, and I go, I know we should pray about this, but it feels weird. And you push through, and I'll grab her hand. We try to do it. regularly, where you grab a hand and go, let's just pray about this.

And it's amazing how the presence of God fills that room when you pray. This is what biblical marriage is all about. Let me just show it to you. Ephesians chapter five says it this way. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh. Come on, somebody. One flesh. We'll talk about that next Sunday. This is a profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ in the church. Look what he's saying. He's saying there's some supernatural thing that happens when a husband and wife, a male and a female, can we just make that very clear, come together in a God-honoring marriage, and when they do this, it's a united together, just like Christ in his church is. Let me just explain this to you. I've just gotta push this a little further, and then we'll get to our next point. Christ-centered marriage is about a covenant, not a contract. And you've gotta get this right, because if you base your marriage off of a worldly contract, then it will fall apart, because a contract is all about if-then. If they please me, if they make enough money,

if they make me laugh, if they have that good career, then we'll stay together. And a lot of you all have, people have thrown away the marriage because it didn't live up to what I thought it would live up to. That's a contract. That's different than biblical covenant. Covenant is no matter what. It is the same relationship that God has with his church, which God has with me and you, that we are committed together for life, that God works in covenant, not contract. Aren't you grateful that God does not have an if-then relationship with you? Because we all would have blown it. But God says, I'm committed to you no matter what. And that's the relationship of a Christ-centered marriage, that we are in this thing no matter what. So I tell people all the time, I go, if Katie leaves me, that's totally fine. And everybody's kind of all shocked. Like, are you serious? You're good with that? I'm going, yeah, because I'm going with her. We're in this thing for life, because that's God-honoring marriage. Hear me out, because contracts protect your rights, but limit your responsibilities. And that's what a lot of people

build their relationship off of. I gotta protect my rights and limit my responsibility. But covenant is very different. Covenant requires you to lay down your rights and pick up your responsibilities. So I lay down my life daily for my spouse. I lay down my way, I lay down my agenda, and that's a God-honoring, Christ-centered relationship. Just like God emptied himself and became man as he laid down his life for you and me, so we are called to empty ourselves daily, lay down our life for our spouse, put their needs over our needs, and watch how Christ will be in the middle of that relationship. Can I hear a better amen across Tampa Bay? Y'all learned something today. All right, I went way too long on point number one. I told you that's why I'm gonna take a couple weeks. Number two, number two, you gotta fight fair. Now, I know you well enough to know that none of y'all get into arguments, and you all handle the arguments beautifully with amazing, amazing compassion and love. But let's be honest, we can all learn to argue better. Actually, conflict is not a sign that something is wrong with your marriage. So actually, a lack of conflict. I've met couples in pre-marriage. I'm like, what do y'all fight about?

They're like, we have never gotten in a fight. I go, get ready, you will. By the end of this meeting, we're gonna make sure it happens. You guys, this is crazy. I mean, you gotta have some conflict. Conflict can actually be a sign of a healthy relationship. Some of y'all are like, then we have the healthiest relationship ever. I'm like, the question for your marriage is not whether you will fight, but it's how you will fight. And healthy marriages fight not to win but actually fight to be one, to be connected. They fight not for their interests but for the interest of the marriage moving forward. Knowing the goal is a lifelong covenant before God, we actually go into conflict with that goal in mind. So if you fight to win, you lose every time. Men, let me just challenge you. If you go into it and go, I can win this one, you might win the argument and you'll lose the relationship. Because you know what it's like to walk out of that relationship and go, I won! And you actually lost. So you've got to learn how to control this. How do you do this? By learning to fight fair. So how you fight really matters. Peter, I mean Paul says it this way, be completely humble and gentle. Be patient, bearing with one another in love. And make every effort, this is our job, every effort to keep the, what word? Unity. This is a key word, if you underline your Bible, I would underline that word unity. Unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. I want to give it to you this way, because the goal of conflict in your marriage isn't victory, it's unity. It's that you are wrestling with each other, fighting for each other to get on the same page so that you can be in unity towards the goal that God has for your

marriage. So you're not fighting to win, you're fighting to get on the same page when it comes to parenting, and finances, and schedules, and your spiritual life. We're arguing not for the sake of arguing, and not for the sake of our egos. We are arguing for the sake of the unity of the marriage, because a united marriage is a strong marriage. And I'm telling you, the enemy hates united marriages, so he's working overtime to get you so divided so that you're not a united force to take on the enemy of this world. So the way you do it is you fight for unity in the marriage. How do we fight for unity? Let me give you a couple things. Number one, you fight to seek understanding. So you don't walk in and go, I'll tell you, I know what you've done, and I'm going to tell you who you are. You ask good questions, open-ended questions. I'm going to try to seek understanding. My wife is the best in the world at this. I'm telling you, somehow she's constantly, I know she's frustrated, and I'll come to her and I'll go, hey, talk to me about it. And she's like, well, I know I'm frustrated, but I'm trying to think of it through your lens and what you're trying to do. I'm like, you're so godly. I'm not. It's just life. It's amazing. So you always want to seek understanding. What's their perspective in this? Here's your second one. Time and tone. Tone and timing matters. Now, we understand this. It's not just what you say, it's how you say it. How many know you can say the right thing at the wrong time, and it's the wrong time? So there's times where I'm like, Katie, we're going to fight this one out. And she's like, this is not the right time. And I have early days, I'd push it. I'd push it because I'm a man. I'm going to lead this home. And I led myself right to the couch, to the glory of God. Not a good way to win. So tone and timing matters. The Bible says a gentle answer turns away wrath. Harsh words stirs up anger. So you got to make sure this is important, that you're not speaking angry and harsh. And you say phrases like, I just got to get this off my chest. No, no, no, no, no. Think through it. Think through the timing. Think through your tone. Number three, avoid never or always statements. You never clean up after yourself. That's not true. It's this time I didn't, but not all, never. You're always late. Not always. I can tell you what time it was. When you use those statements, you discredit anything that comes out of your mouth. All right? Number four, this is a huge one. My wife and I have made a rule that's helped our marriage, and it's so important. It's that you attack the problem, not the person. Attack the problem, not the person. So the dishes aren't done. Okay? So you don't turn to the person and say, you're a dirty person. Okay? That does not help. Okay? You say, hey, we got dishes to get done. How can we make this happen? All right? So they overspent on the budget.

You know, you're selfish. That's not a good phrase. You're attacking the person, not the problem. Hey, we've got a budget that we've got to stay in. How do we stay in this budget? You know, they slept in. You're lazy. You're not a lazy person. Don't attack the thing. Hey, we need to keep on schedule. You made us late for church yet again. We came in 15 minutes late. We've never heard the first song of worship ever in the history of the church. All right? There is actually a worship set that happens earlier in our service. You might not know this, but you don't attack the person. You're so lazy. You just go, hey, we have a time management problem. All right? You're attacking the problem, not the person. Y'all with me today, church? All right. Let me give you another one. And lastly, is you pray together. Don't ever have a conflict where you don't pray together, where you invite the presence of God in and you say, hey, help us. Help us to get to resolve. Help us to get to unity. Help us to die to our flesh, to be who God's called us to be. Let me give you one more challenge for this. Those that are watching this, this is vitally important, especially for those who are about to get married. Never use the word divorce as a weapon in an argument. Not even as a bluff. That word does damage that outlast the argument by years. I have people that have come into my office and they drop that word and it just, it is a ripple effect of damage for years and years to come and it's so vital. You never use that word. Remember, you are in a covenant before God. Now, obviously, the Bible gives us biblical reasons for divorce when it comes to adultery, when it comes to abuse. We'll talk about that next week. But those should be the exception. You do not use it as a fighting word to go, well, if I don't get my way,

here's what's gonna happen to you. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, it is not a healthy way to do conflict. Here's your last thing, ready? Great marriages are built by two people who value the relationship more than being right. So you're constantly just challenging yourself. I'm gonna die to myself and I want the relationship to be healthier than just me being right. That's how you fight fair. Number three, y'all still with me today, church? All right, I told you it's gonna be helpful this series. So you're gonna have a Christ-centered relationship. He's in the middle of it. You're gonna fight fair because you're all gonna have arguments, but you gotta learn how to do it right. And number three is you're gonna be intentional. We'll close with this one. You gotta be intentional. I'm a firm believer that marriage is one of the most beautiful, enjoyable things when you are intentional about it. But no marriage naturally drifts from unhealth to health. We all naturally drift into busyness, selfishness, isolation. So you have to be intentional about saying, I'm gonna keep this marriage fresh. I'm gonna keep it alive and I'm gonna make it important in my life

because things get in the way. Work gets in the way, kids get in the way, life gets in the way, life gets in the way. And if you're not careful, you'll have moments like Katie and I've had where we'll challenge each other and go, I feel like we're more roommates, we're ships passing through the night, running different lives than the united covenant of a biblical marriage that God's called us to be, to be a united force that God's called us to lead forward. And to get there, you have to be intentional. The book of Ecclesiastes says to enjoy life with your wife. This is a, the wisest man that ever lived said you have to enjoy, like you have to take intentionality. You have to take initiative in this, whom you love all the days of this meaningless life, all the rest of it, the bills, the lawn's gotta get cut, job changes, stuff happens, kids go to college. It's all just part of life, but God's given to you and your part of this life is that you gotta enjoy life with your wife. So if God calls you to a marriage, make it enjoyable. Like don't just sit there and go,

well, just the spark is gone. Get the spark back. Well, just we used to laugh a lot together, but when I was so serious, they'd start to laugh again. Be intentional about it. My father-in-law, who him and my mother-in-law have been married as of last week, 55 years. And I know they watch these messages every week. So we honor you, 55 years. And the wisdom he gave me before Katie and I got married is this. This is the best marriage advice that has ever been given to me. He says, whatever you feed grows and whatever you starve dies. If you feed the relationship, it will grow. If you're only feeding your hobbies and you're starving the relationship, and if you're only feeding the children and you're starving the intimacy of your relationship, guess what? That marriage is gonna die. So you have to be intentional to say, I'm gonna feed what is so very valuable, this covenant of biblical marriage that God has given me. I'm gonna feed it because I'm not just gonna be in it to endure it. I'm gonna enjoy this marriage that God's given me. And I'm gonna do it through intentionality.

Let me give you a couple of intentional decisions everyone needs to make. Number one is you need to connect daily. You need daily interaction. That means that there needs to be a touch point every single day. So there needs to be a time where you're sitting on a couch and you're saying, how's your day? What's going on in your life? Let's connect. And Katie and I, we got five kids, life is busy, and we have to make it up. Good point, hey, let's connect. And we're reading a couple books together, we try to do that every day. Hey, look, we're just gonna, we're gonna connect. We're gonna daily have interaction with each other. Don't go a day without saying I love you. Anyway, they come in the door, give them a big old kiss. You know, just invest in that marriage. Number two, you're gonna have a weekly date. Katie and I, this has changed so much throughout the years. It used to be a date night. Now it's breakfast sometimes, we'll connect, or a lunch. You go, well, the economy. Then go pack a lunch, go to a park, go to the beach. Do something where you're sitting across from each other and you're daily, I mean, you're weekly in this connection where you're going, this is our date time. This is our time of investing in each other.

And I think it's vitally, vitally important. And by the way, let me give you a little trick in this. Whatever the biggest thing in your life right now, don't talk about that. So some of y'all are engaged, getting married, and every date night is about the stupid wedding that you're gonna have in six months. And I'll talk to engaged couples that are like, we don't wanna go on dates anymore. All she talks about is the food tasting, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, so don't talk about that. Because by the way, it doesn't change. Because then when you get married, guess what? Then it's about the house you're gonna buy. And then it's about the kids you got. And now Katie and I have to go on date night. And when we go on date night, it's like, okay, do we talk about all five of our kids and the church? Those are our six children right there. But you guys take up a lot of our date night. So I'm like, let's not talk about the church at all. Be intentional. I got these date night questions years ago. If you wanna take a picture of it, it will change your life. This has helped Katie and I for years. It's about maybe once every month or two, we'll do these questions. And it has been a game changer. I have never seen this many phones out. All right.

I'll put it on my social too, on my stories today. So if you follow me on there, I'll get it. But these just help you go a little bit deeper. I think I got this from Michael Hyatt or one of those guys. And it's just helped my relationship. So Katie and I will sit there and we'll have these conversations. Say, celebrate a win. What do you need? And I love this question. How can I serve you this week? What do you need? And just keep it up there for about 15 more seconds cause I see a lot of phones still out. I mean, what's something special you've noticed about each other this week? You know what I'm doing? I'm just, I'm trying to get the relationship deep. This is intentionality. Y'all with me today, church? It's weekly. All right. Yearly, Katie and I, we go on a vacation. Oh, it's not a trip. A trip is when the kids are there. It ain't a vacation. It's a vacation when it's Katie and I alone. And I'll just say before God, we've never missed a year in 15 years. And we were broke as a joke.

I mean, early days of radiant, we didn't have a dime to our name and we swiped it on a credit card for give us Dave Ramsey. But we were so adamant that we're gonna invest in our marriage and we do it every year. It's like a giant reset where we go away, little cruise, little time in the mountains. Something where we're investing in our relationship and it's just her and I, and we have unbroken time together. I'm telling you, it's a giant reset. Some of you, it is unhealthy how long you've gone without a vacation together. And you go, well, the economy's so bad. Take a few nights, go to an Airbnb, do something to get away without your children. Grandpa, grandma will watch them. Somebody will watch them. Just drop them somewhere. Somebody will watch them. I don't recommend that. Somebody trustworthy. All right. Lastly, I know I'm out of time, but I hope you understand how important this is because I want your marriage strong. Your last one is that you need to implement biblical marriage counseling into your relationship. There are moments where every relationship

gets into an impasse. And you've done your daily interaction and you've done your weekly date nights and you've gone on vacation, but you just need somebody to talk it out. When I talk about a Christ-centered marriage, part of this is that you need somebody that you can dialogue with outside of the home that can help you work on that. And I'm grateful for our pastors and small group leaders, but I'm talking about actually trained biblical counselors. And I wanted you to make sure they're a biblical counselor. Because what you don't want is somebody in the world just telling you, yeah, you leave that guy, blah, blah. No, no, no, no. Let's look at it through the lens of the Bible because we have a Christ-centered relationship. A couple of years back, Katie and I, and we have a great marriage, but we were at an impasse. There was an issue in our life that we could not get resolve on. And we prayed about it. We prayed for unity. We prayed together. And we could not get the resolve. And so we went and saw a counselor. And we are so pro-counseling, but I never had a really good one. And about a few years ago,

we went and saw this guy and it was life-changing. I was so excited because I was going into it, going, man, I'm gonna see this guy and he's gonna tell her all the things she's wrong about. I'm paying him, so I know, you know? And it didn't work that way. God did a deep healing in my heart, deep healing in her heart. We saw it for a few months. It really helped. It's so beautiful. Counseling is not a sign of weakness in a relationship. It's actually a thing that strengthens your relationship through a biblical lens to make you stronger than ever before. I felt it was vitally important, and my team felt it was vitally important for me to tell the church, your pastor and his wife have gone to marriage counseling because we believe, and we are so adamant I'm having a lasting, happy, holy marriage, and we're gonna do everything we can to protect this God-honoring covenant that the enemy wants to take out, but we're gonna do our part to keep it unified for the glory of God, and you need to do the same. Can I hear a better amen across Tampa Bay? I'm out of time, but I want you just to close your eyes. If you're sitting next to your spouse, I want you to grab their hand.

If you're single, I want you to just agree in faith that God is gonna protect you and honor you and bring you into that lifelong covenant that you want so much. Just have this moment right there as you're sitting next to your spouse. I know that there are people in our audience today across our campuses, and your marriage is struggling. Maybe your spouse isn't even in the room. Maybe you're sitting next to them, but you go, Aaron, we are not in a good place, and we need Christ to be in the middle of this thing to bring healing. Maybe it's through counseling. Maybe it's just through the series, but we need a breakthrough. Is that you today? Just with every eye closed, you go, Aaron, pray for our marriage. We need a breakthrough. Would you just slip a hand up to heaven all over the room? Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Hundreds of hands. Thank you. Don't be ashamed. We all have those moments. Thank you. Thank you at all of our campuses. Let's pray. Lord, I pray for your church.

Lord, I pray for the marriages that are represented. The enemy is working overtime at attacking our marriages, and I pray for protection and unity over them. I pray for those who are struggling, that they would feel the release, even to go to counseling, to invest in that marriage, to invest in that vacation, to invest in that time together. For those who have let the enemy come in and temptation come in and distractions come in, Lord, let this week be a giant reset to creating the happy, healthy, holy, lasting marriage that you've called it to be. I pray for the marriages of our church. Let them be strong, united together in love, with intimacy together for the call of God on their life. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.