1 Corinthians - Instructions for Marriage

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music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music ♪ In Jesus' mighty name, I believe ♪ ♪ I believe, I believe ♪ ♪ I believe, I believe, oh we pray, we pray, we pray ♪ Man, we are so excited to be here this morning with you. No matter where you are in your spiritual journey,

this is what we know, that Jesus Cross is passionately in pursuit of each and every one of us. And we say this every week, we mean it. If you're a first time guest today, and we're having so many people that are coming to visit for the first time, you're the most important people in the room to us. We have prayed for you, and our greatest desire is by the end of this gathering is that you would know that Jesus is passionately in love with you. The only thing we ask you to do if you're a visitor is to take a few seconds, fill out that connect card, and the seat back in front of you. To everybody, that's also a chance to put any kind of prayer requests down that you may have. We would love to pray for you. Drop them in the buckets as you leave out the door. I'm gonna tell you something, it's so awkward doing anything with my left hand. I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm trying to hold on to this microphone. So I'll just say, hey, one, thank you for your prayers. I had a surgery on my left arm, five plus weeks ago. This is once you hit your deductible, go ahead and do the right arm is what they say. You know, it's out of that.

So that's carpal tunnel, cubital tunnel. So just, hey, thank you. I say this, thank you for your prayers for that. Everything's great, gonna be better. Have a little more sensation in my hands. They said, I can't really preach though, if I use my hands. I said, I can't do nothing without my hands. And so man, Ben's gonna come and bring the word this morning, it's gonna be fantastic. Anybody notice some VBS stuff around the house? Come on, right? Man, that's awesome. Just a couple of things I wanna encourage you with that. One, man, would you please just saturate this week with prayer? Our team goes over the top, Michaela, so many others, so many servants, so many prayers, and then just practical work, hard work has went into it. And we're believing big for this next week. So please, please pray and be a part of it. And the truth is for us at CrossGate, summer's just a big season. We make some spiritual investments. One of those we wanna let you know about this morning, so you can be a part of praying toward that. Alan Cagle, our pastor of leadership development wants to share some things, investments, because of your faithfulness and giving that we're able to make in the future generations.

Just give them an idea of what's coming up. Yeah, so this summer, we have the opportunity to allow 12 kids to go through an opportunity, what we call summer internship. These kids are learning what it means to learn from God and live sent on mission with God. And this summer, they're taking their time, not to just hang out and just be lazy, but they're giving their life to learn what it means to discover their kingdom purpose, to be developed in their calling and their competencies and their character and to be deployed on mission with God. And so this summer, they're gonna be spending two days a week, one day learning what it means to walk with God, and then one day learning what it means to live for God. And we wanted you guys to just know who they are. I think we've got a picture of them up on the screen. We wanted you guys to be praying for these 12 that are gonna be with us this summer as they learn what it means to live sent for Jesus. And so I wanna take a moment just to pray for these 12 and pray for us as we get back into worship. So Lord, we just bless these 12 in the name of Jesus. Thank you for the next generation. Lord, thank you for a church that loves to pour into the next generation. Lord, thank you for a staff and a team and a church that is investing in raising up kingdom leaders for your purpose.

And so Lord, we bless these teenagers, these young people in the name of Jesus. And we pray that your kingdom would come and your will would be done in and through their life. Just as we ask that today in this moment, as we step back into worship, that your kingdom would come, that your presence would be real, your spirit would be tangible in this place. And so Lord, as we step back into worship, we just give you all the glory. And we say, come Holy Spirit, come. Spirit of God, come. We give you all the glory in Jesus' name. Amen. Church family, as we lift this song up, I want you to praise the Lord for the fact that it is finished. The victory is won and our King is worthy of all of our praise. Let's lift him up this morning. ♪ Crown Him with many crowns ♪ ♪ The Lamb upon His throne ♪ ♪ Hark how the heavenly hosts sing ♪ The anthem drowns old music, but it's home. ♪ Hark how the heavenly hosts sing ♪ Awake, my soul, and sing of Him who died for me. And hail Him as thy matchless King through all eternity. Sing, Majesty, Lord of all. Oh, Majesty, Lord of all.

Let every throne before Him fall. The King of kings, O come, adore our God who reigns forevermore. Crown Him the Lord of life who triumphed o'er the grave and rose victorious in the strife for those He came to save. So His glories now we sing who died and rose on high, who died eternal life to bring and lives that death may die. Oh, Majesty, Lord of all. Let every throne before Him fall. The King of kings, O come, adore our God who reigns forevermore. Oh, Hail, Redeemer, hail for He has died for me. His praise and glory shall not fail throughout eternity. Sing, oh hail, oh hail, Redeemer, hail for He has died for me. His praise and glory shall not fail throughout eternity. So we sing, Majesty, lift Him up, church. Lord of all, let every throne before Him fall. He's the King of kings, O come, adore our God who reigns forevermore. Majesty, Lord of all, let every throne before Him fall. The King of kings, O come, adore our God who reigns forevermore. Praise God who reigns forevermore. You're the God who reigns forevermore. Hallelujah. Praise you, Lord. Praise you. You were the Word at the beginning. One with God, the Lord Most High. Your hidden glory in creation. And now revealed in me. ♪ In you our Christ ♪ ♪ What a beautiful name it is ♪ ♪ What a beautiful name it is ♪

♪ The name of Jesus Christ my King ♪ ♪ What a beautiful name it is ♪ ♪ And nothing compares to this ♪ ♪ What a beautiful name it is ♪ ♪ The name of Jesus ♪ ♪ Didn't want heaven without us ♪ ♪ Jesus you brought heaven down, thank you Lord ♪ ♪ My sin was great, your love was greater ♪ ♪ And what could separate us now ♪ ♪ What a wonderful name it is ♪ ♪ What a wonderful name it is ♪ ♪ The name of Jesus Christ my King ♪ ♪ What a wonderful name it is ♪ ♪ And nothing compares to this ♪ ♪ What a wonderful name it is ♪ ♪ The name of Jesus ♪ ♪ What a wonderful name it is ♪ ♪ The name of Jesus ♪ ♪ Jesus, all your name, all your name ♪ ♪ All your name, all your name ♪ ♪ And death could not hold you, the veil tore before you ♪ ♪ You silenced the boast of sin and grave ♪ ♪ The heavens are roaring, the praise of your glory ♪ ♪ For you are raised to life again ♪ ♪ You have no rival, you have no equal ♪ ♪ Now and forever God, you reign ♪ ♪ And yours is the kingdom, and yours is the glory ♪ ♪ Yours is the name above all names ♪ ♪ What a powerful name it is, what a powerful name it is ♪ ♪ The name of Jesus Christ, my King ♪

♪ What a powerful name it is, and nothing can stand against ♪ ♪ What a powerful name it is, the name of Jesus ♪ ♪ You have no rival, and you have no equal ♪ ♪ Now and forever God, you reign ♪ ♪ And yours is the kingdom, and yours is the glory ♪ ♪ Yours is the name above all names ♪ ♪ You're the name above all names ♪ ♪ Holy, holy, are you Lord God Almighty ♪ ♪ Are you Lord God Almighty ♪ ♪ Worthy is the name, oh you're worthy Lord ♪ ♪ You're so worthy, you are holy, holy ♪ ♪ Are you Lord God Almighty ♪ ♪ Worthy is the name, oh you're worthy Lord ♪ ♪ You're so worthy, you are holy, holy ♪ ♪ Are you Lord God Almighty ♪ ♪ Worthy is the name, worthy is the name ♪ ♪ You are holy, holy, are you Lord God Almighty ♪ Are you Lord God Almighty, Worthy is the Lamb, Worthy is the Lamb, Amen. So Heavenly Father, um, ever since I've woken up this morning, I have felt the war that is about to happen in this room and Lord, and I just pray God that as we jump into a chapter in 1 Corinthians 7, um, that is critical for your kingdom, that God, I feel, and would you allow us to see how critical it is for marriages in this house this morning and what a marriage represents when we think about Christ and His bride. And so in the only way that I know how, God, is that would you just make war on our behalf? And Lord, would you, would you win wars today on our behalf and let people walk out of here in freedom today? And it's in your holy name, you are holy Lord, your holy name that I pray, Amen. All right, good morning everybody. You can go ahead and take a seat, grab your Bible, um, all of those wonderful things. Yes, to echo Kyle's sentiment, it is a big, big day in the life of our church as today,

this afternoon, this evening in 92 degree weather is our VBS front porch party at six o'clock. It's going to be awesome. It's free. Uh, there's going to be a ton of food trucks and a ton of port-a-potty, so no reason for you not to come, uh, please do. And if you were not planning on coming, I just changed your plans. It's going to be such a fun evening, uh, together. Uh, so if you have your Bibles, I would like for you to turn with me to 1 Corinthians 7 and we're going to be looking at verses one through nine today where Paul is giving some instructions on marriage, but it isn't going to be the instructions that you may think of if you just read the heading. And so we're just going to read it all right now and break it down together slowly, methodically, but my prayer has been meaningfully as well. All right. So 1 Corinthians 7 verses one through nine, let's read it together. Here we go. Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter, yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations, but because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill the wife's sexual needs and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Now I'm going to pause right there for a moment because I feel like a lot of dudes just highlighted in their Bible for the very first time ever. Now I will continue. Verse five continues and says, do not deprive each other of sexual relations unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer.

Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command, but I wish everyone were single just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God of one kind or another, so I say to those who aren't married and to widows, it is better to stay unmarried just as I am. But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It is better to marry than to burn with lust. And so there is a subtle shift that takes place in chapter seven of 1 Corinthians, and it's crazy that we're actually at the halfway point of this journey together. But there's a subtle shift that takes place where Paul has spent the first half of the letter talking about things that have been on his mind and his heart for the church, and then also addressing some sexual immorality that the church was tolerating. But chapter seven, he shifts the letter to begin answering questions that they were having. All right, hence verse one saying, now regarding the questions that you asked in your letter. So something happened to where some men and some women delivered all of this information to Paul. And then Paul in turn delivers this message back to the Corinthian church. And the first thing that he wants to do is tackle sexuality and the role that purity and life plays inside of the Christian.

And I want you to consider how he ends chapter six, which is where we ended last Sunday when Pastor Kyle preached on 1 Corinthians six. But consider how he ends six to launch us in to seven. All right, I know students, I know six, seven, I get it. But anyway, listen to what he says at the end of 1 Corinthians six, verses 15 through 20. He says, don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ and join it to a prostitute? Never. And don't you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her. For the scriptures say the two are united into one. But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him. Run from sexual sin. No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. And this is a great reminder, friends, we live in a sex-crazed culture today. It is absolutely everywhere. And there is a truth that needs to be the fuel

in your fire every day if you are even going to attempt to live a pure life before the Lord. Whatever God's desires are for your life, whatever God's desires are for man and woman and husband and wife, the world will indoctrinate you the exact opposite, okay? That's how you know there's some truth that's out there that's fixed for all eternity because whatever is good, think about it and write for your life, the world wants to build and sabotage and indoctrinate you the other way from keeping you from walking in freedom. And that's how Paul ends chapter six. And since there were questions about marriage and singleness this is where he chooses to begin. And as we get ready to tackle these eight verses, I want you to be encouraged with this statement really quick. Guys, listen to me, the Bible is for daily living. The Bible is not for these fun theological conversations that we can have to say to ourselves that man, this is really good, I've never saw that. No, it is for daily living. And if you are serious about the normal Christian life, you will wake up every day living it from a daily perspective with this word right out in front of you. That is what daily living is. That is what daily living is all about. And I promise you, you will get answers to the problems

and the issues that your life may be facing. And hear me, it's not easy. And it is downright difficult sometimes, but listen, there is a truth that can change things for you if you let it. You don't have to bend to the world's standard. You don't have to do that. There is a better way. So what we're about to study is a great example of how straightforward and clear instruction, if it's applied correctly, can change a life, can uplift a marriage, or any situation, and can set you on a course. of freedom. So the situation in Corinth is in full transparency, no different than the situation at Crossgates. Marriages were in trouble. And there were some marriages in deep trouble. And mixed in the trouble, there was confusion and chaos around the nature of marriage and around the nature of singleness, okay? So without going overboard and drifting you guys to sleep, it is important to know what I'm about to say. And I would even challenge you to write this right outside of 1 Corinthians 7. And it is this phrase, context is king. When it comes to knowing the Bible, when it comes to studying the Bible, context is king. You have to start there first. The Bible is written for you, but not to you.

But not to you. The Bible is written for you and not to you. In other words, every single verse that you have ever read has an original context that we have to go to first before we discover the personal application. If we don't do that, we will interject non-truth and make assumptions that are not really there. And quite honestly, far too many pulpits in America lean into surface level assumptions. And that's why books of the Bible like 1 Corinthians get a bad rep or Paul gets a bad rep and people draw these conclusions on things about Paul that's not even remotely true. Context is king. So let's jump into the context a little bit of what the Corinthian church were dealing with. Right off the bat, they were dealing with four different types of marriages, all right, during this time period of history. The first marriage that they were dealing with was this thing called tent companionship. They were literally living together in a tent and this was a slave marriage. And the owner of the slave could at any moment sell the wife, sell the husband, disrupt the marriage, take her as her own, whatever and so forth. All right, and then the second type of marriage that was here was just common law marriage where a man and a woman just live together outside the covenant of marriage

and then after a year or after some period of time, they're just married by common law. Well, then you have the arranged marriage that was still going on. We see a lot of arranged marriages going through the history of the Old Testament, but arranged marriages were still going on in the New Testament church where a father would sell his daughter into marriage for many different reasons. And then the fourth marriage was the traditional marriage, the one that you and I are most accustomed to in 2026. So there were four different marriages here and all this disparity created confusion. And then within the confusion of all the marriages, you throw singleness in there and that created more confusion because there were people there advocating that the best thing to do with all of this marriage confusion is to stay single and celibate and that will please God the most. In other words, the only way to live as a proper Christian is to live single. You must have nothing to do with the physical things of the body and realize that spiritual things are way more important than physical things. And that is when Paul starts chapter seven by saying, now regarding the questions you asked in the letter.

And Paul makes this first statement in verse two. He says, yes, it's good. He says, it's good for a man to not have sexual relations. Basically saying, it's good for a man not to marry. All right, now we automatically look at that and we're a little bit puzzled by that. So let's begin to bring some clarity to the holistic view of what Paul is saying. And crazy enough, verses 32 through 34 is the key to understanding Paul's statement here. And he says this, he says, I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. He says, an unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking about how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted more to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit, but a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. And so Paul is just addressing, it's okay to be single. And in your singleness, you have the grandest opportunity to devote yourself more to the Lord and his work. So Paul is not going against God's good plan for marriage. We need to understand the context here. For the Jew, marriage was absolutely crucial because the Jews saw singleness as disobedience.

And they would sit there as they passed a single person and pass judgment on them because they weren't married. Because they know what God says about marriage, to be fruitful, to multiply, to fill the earth. So the Jews are all in on the creation account. In other words, come together, have babies. This can only be done within the context of marriage that God establishes. And that was in the back of the mind for the Jew. Now, enter the Greeks, the Gentiles coming into all this. All right, for the Gentile, and you can imagine being in this Greek world of sexual chaos that they were coming out of, they saw this from a totally different perspective. They were like, we have seen the absolute worst of the worst in regard to all of that. So therefore singleness is the only way to live a life pleasing to God. And Paul just says, it's okay to be married. It's okay to be single. Singleness has distinct advantages to the kingdom of God. But guess what? Marriage has distinct advantages for the kingdom of God. And that's all he is saying. All right, moving on, let's really look at verse two. Paul says in verse two, he says, but because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. And I wanted to take that verse and pull it out

because there is a lot of things that Paul is saying without saying that we just need to talk about for a minute. Because Paul is dispelling quite a bit in one verse. He says, because there's so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. So what is Paul saying no to is the greater question here. Paul is saying no to the notion of polygamy. He's saying no to the notion of open marriages. He's saying no to the notion of multiple partners. He's saying no to the notion of same-sex partners. He is saying no to the notion of side pieces. Paul says, you get one, you get one, and you stick with that all the days of your life. Now, on the surface, I get it. It looks like Paul is saying, if you need to have sex, just get married. Because that's how it reads. But context changes that statement. Because if you just leave it there, Paul has a pretty clear statement. Paul has a pretty low view of marriage. However, it is counterweighted with the severity of sin. And do you see sin in your life as severe as how Paul is painting that picture in 1 Corinthians 7? Because here's where we are, friends, throwing myself included, the human heart, And this is what Paul is talking about.

The human heart is not a neutral thing. The human heart drifts. The human heart attaches itself to things that it does not need to be attached to. The human heart wanders around. The human heart admires things. It has no business admiring. The human heart fantasizes about things that it has no business fantasizing about. And all the while, the world is indoctrinating us with the exact opposite of what God wants for us in our life. And it's just there, always in front of us, tempting our hearts to drift and wander and fantasize and attach to things that God says no, absolutely no to. And there's a truth in all this that I have on the screen. Wandering hearts never wander towards holiness. And somebody needs to hear that this morning. Wandering hearts never wander towards holiness. Focused hearts do it. Spirit-filled hearts do it, not wandering hearts. And if you are in this room and you know your heart is in drift mode, I'm telling you, you're not wandering toward holiness. That's why God has to come get you. And so Paul is saying in 1 Corinthians 7, for the sake of your personal holiness, get married. For the sake of your personal holiness, get married. Now, is this all that Paul teaches on marriage in all of Scripture?

No, and I would say no with an exclamation point. We know that Paul has a very high and a very clear view of marriage. If you just go read Ephesians 5, verses 21 through 35, we're not even a year removed from going through the book of Ephesians, so it should semi be fresh on your brain. But Paul has a very clear and high view of marriage. So he's not giving a reason why marriage has been instituted as a whole in 1 Corinthians. He is describing a necessary course of action for certain people who need it. Specific answers deserve specific questions. And this does not write the whole story on Paul's total view on marriage. And so Paul is saying in the Corinthian context, while it is okay to remain single, Paul is saying some of you can't. Some of you can't because of your physical desires and because of the culture that you are coming out of. So to save your soul, get married. But just to continue on Paul's truth, we know that the biblical marriage is meant for all kinds of things. We know through all of Scripture that marriage was made for procreation, for one man and one woman for one lifetime. Come together and fill the earth with future godly men and future godly women. But we also know through Scripture

that the Bible is very clear that there is intimate fulfillment within the context of the marriage. I can't believe I'm using this passage on a sermon on a Sunday morning, but Proverbs 5, 15 through 18, drink water from your own well. Share your love only with your wife. Who? Just your wife, just your husband. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you and get this, rejoice in the wife of your youth. Which means that there is a small window to enjoy intimate fulfillment with your life. And some of our longer marriages in here probably got an amen in there. But I'm gonna say this, if you're a man and a woman and you're in a relationship, men or two right there, wishing they could go back. you're gonna have a lot of joy in your life. But there's such a small window there, But if you're a man and a woman and you're in a relationship, so enjoy it and be fulfilled in the physical things you're gonna have a lot of joy in your life. that marriage has to offer.

Well, we also know that biblical marriage is meant for partnership between a man and a woman and understanding that there is a sameness, not an exactness, with a man and a woman. And husbands and wives are most complete when they stand together, not when they compete to become the same thing. That they see their roles, they fulfill it, and they come together to move their life forward and the kingdom of God forward because of the picture that God paints for marriage. And what is that picture? It's a picture of Christ and the church and how Jesus feels about his bride at cross gates and his bride at churches all across this entire world. And so really, here's the question. Your marriage today, right now, right now, is a picture of what should be in your own relationship with Jesus. Okay? Your marriage is a picture of what should be in your own relationship with Jesus. And that's just what the Bible says. All right, let's move on to verses three and four, the one that you guys highlighted earlier. The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. So this is where we've got to get off the context bus

and we have to jump on the bus of personal application for this faith family. All right? So we are shifting to personal application mode and I want you to hear me right now. There's no celibacy in marriage. There is none. One of the things that the Greeks were trying to do was to please the Jewish view of marriage and they would get married, but in that marriage, they would wanna stay celibate because they were still struggling. But that cannot be based off of what we know of Scripture and Paul's high and clear view of marriage. And so when we read verses three and four, all right, it's very clear that even today in 2026 and today in your marriage, there is no celibacy in marriage. You did not get married to live as a single. And the ground is very level here. So any thought that Paul is a misogynist and views women such at a low level should go away right here because Paul says, husbands, you have duties to your wife. Wife, you have duties to your husbands as well. And not only is this a duty, this is a habitual duty that should be regular and not random. And you can shoot me dead this morning before I begin to tell you what a good number is

to constitute habitual duty. That is for you and you alone to figure out and navigate. So if you're even thinking about asking me that question after this service, you just go get in your car and move on because I'm not gonna answer it. Now I want you to listen to me for a second. I fully realize that there are marriages that is within an earshot of my voice that is doing this and is doing it well. And I thank God for that. But like any pendulum, it swings to the other side and there are husbands and wives and marriages that are not doing this well. Regardless, husbands and wives are doing this well. and wives are to protect one another from sin by not depriving one another or holding one another hostage to the notion of sexual intimacy. And verse five kind of makes that clear. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations. Unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. So the only exception, and listen, I know there are different variables out there so don't sit there saying, but yeah, but. I'm just reading the text. The only exception to regular sexual intimacy

is when couples agree to a limited time to devote themselves to prayer to set that aside. And then Paul says, come back together quickly so you won't fall victim to Satan's temptations. And that's it. So to the marriages, and this is where it's time to do hard inventory for a moment. So to the marriages that may be struggling to get the biblical commands of this passage, I want to offer you a few things to consider this morning. Because it's easy to hear this and say, yeah, but you don't know what me and my husband are going through. You don't know what me and my wife are going through, what he's done, what she's done. I don't know, but God does. And I also know that the Holy Spirit can do things that we are not capable of. If you let the Holy Spirit produce things that you are not capable of. And so in moments like this, when we look at passages like this to consider, and you've realized in your heart that you're nowhere near this, the best thing to do is work backwards a little bit. And ask the question, how did we get here? And I just want to offer a few statements to somebody in here that I am pretty sure needs these few statements. And here's the first statement I want to share with you. You did not fall out of love.

You stopped sowing in. You did not fall out of love, you stopped sowing in. And Laura, you can come play if you want and get ready, but hear me when I say this, nothing of true value just disappears overnight in your life. Nothing of value just disappears. Love slowly starves when it is no longer fed with attention, sacrifice, forgiveness, affection, and intentionality. And if those things are not present in your marriage, you have starved it probably longer than you realize. And so husbands, hear me, pursue your woman. It wasn't just for the dating season. Pursue your woman, talk with her more. Listen better. Here's an exercise. The next time you go to dinner, leave your phones in the car and actually talk to your spouse with your mouth. Listen better, compliment her, serve her, give her companionship. And if you don't know the words to how to do that, go read Song of Solomon and that letter and book will help you. And if you don't know the words to how to do that, go read Song of Solomon and that letter and book will surely help you. But this is a very real thing, friends. And here's the deal.

Your marriage don't have to be at DEFCON 20, okay? But it is a great thing. Great time to look at this and say, man, I've been a little lazy with this. I've been lazy with pursuing my wife. So give her the companionship, because all that does is push towards greater trust, greater stability, and greater safety. And on the flip side, wives, respect your husbands. And not only respect, but believe in your husband. When is the last time you just stopped your busyness and looked at your husband and said, I am so proud of you. I'm so proud of the way that you're leading our family. I see the things that don't show up in a stat sheet. And I thank you for that. And I'm just telling you this from a man's perspective. Husbands need at least one place in the world where he does not feel constantly evaluated and shamed and compared or attacked. The world does a fine job of that for a husband and a man of God. That place of respite should be his wife. And if it isn't you, the husband will find that one place and chances are it ain't gonna be a good place. And so you didn't fall out of love, you stopped sowing in. And if you sow into one another, and I'm telling you, if you live the Bible, things will change. It's that simple. The second thing I wanna encourage you with to take inventory of is this, compatibility is built.

It ain't found. So all these things, oh, we're so compatible. We have everything in common. No, you don't, stop. You don't finish one another's sentences. You don't do anything like that. Compatibility is built. It's not found because apparently God's idea of growing couples is pairing one person who likes the room freezing cold with another one that thinks 75 degrees is a little chilly. Compatibility is built, it's not found. And hear me right now, the best relationships are not discovered fully formed. They are forged through commitment, sacrifice, communication, and grace. Think about it this way, the day you gave your life to the Lord, that wasn't a full-blown compatibility. It has been built, okay? It's being built today. It started here and you're still building it and God is still maturing you and God is still showing you ways to live and impact his kingdom. So even your relationship with Christ, compatibility is built. What makes you think it would be any less with your spouse? Compatibility is forged in the difficult and the difficult is what makes it great. Listen, chemistry may spark a relationship because Lord knows it did with me and Stacey,

but if it just ended there, then we would have divorced a long time ago. Chemistry may spark a relationship, but compatibility is what gets built over years, waking up, choosing each other, and saying yes to the marriage. Listen to me, I've been married 17 years to the same woman and we are still building. I literally found out Friday, her favorite color was dark green. And this whole time, I thought it was purple. And she just looks at me and says, what colors are curtains? And I was like, dark green. What colors are pillows? And I said, dark green. What color is the accent wall in the living room? Dark green. Hey, Baylor, what's your mom's favorite color? Dad, it's green. I was like, I'm an idiot. Compatibility is built, it's not found. is this difficult doesn't mean optional it means purposeful have you ever thought it like this difficulty is often a sign that something matters and maybe in these seasons of difficulty it means purposeful sometimes difficult is the place where God does his best work if you let him and that's where difficulty can get you re-centered where difficulty can refine you a bit and you may have been years or you may have been seasons thinking that you need a new marriage and maybe you do but that doesn't mean you need a new spouse it just means you need a new marriage and the most purely holy righteous joyful marriage you could

possibly have is living in God's world God's way with it and not being derailed with what this world has to offer so hear me marriage is steeped in forgiveness it is steeped in humility marriage it's steeped in effort so if you are on the fringe this morning hear me don't give up because what you have represents far more than just yourself don't give up and I would even be so bold to say don't postpone your joy and leave this place broken today so what is your next right step for your marriage today make that decision today maybe it needs to be finally you stop putting off re-engage and go hop in with Brad and his team in the fall and go be enriched whether your marriage is fantastic or whether it's struggling a bit go be enriched maybe that is your next right step for some that may be coming to this altar hitting your knees praying with a prayer leader and getting some things sorted out beginning with the word repentance and then asking the Lord to fix it whatever it may be would you let go of pride for one second in your life would you let go of the notion of you have to be right in everything in your marriage can you let that go can you let go of resentment for just five seconds and just see what God can do if you let him whatever it may be don't postpone your joy because God makes family Satan breaks family so don't let him win pray with me so Heavenly Father your word is so good your word is so difficult your your word is sharper than any two-edged sword but God your word is also very real and very life-changing and full of hope full of joy full of answers full of freedom and so as our prayer leaders are coming up here just know this that you can come down right now and be prayed for confess that the battle is hard repent come together and walk out of here free this is the point for today to walk out of here free and understanding your way ain't even the the best way it ain't even the right way but it's God's way that will sustain you and it's God's way that will make those vows that you made a lot long a long time ago stick through the good and the bad the easy and the difficult but whatever it is don't postpone your joy and so Lord have your way and it's in your name that I pray amen ♪♪

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♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Crossgate's family, please posture yourself to receive this blessing. The world will have you discontent with where you are, but Paul reminds us in verse seven of 1 Corinthians chapter seven, each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. And Paul is regarding both marriage and singleness as gifts from God. So this morning, I bless you with the grace and strength through the power of the Holy Spirit that resides in you to walk in the path the Father has set before you, whether in singleness or in marriage. And I bless you with Galatians 2.20. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me. And the life I now live in this flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God

who loves me and gave himself for me. You're dismissed.