Your Why is Showing | 1 Samuel 11

I love succeeding. I love doing things well. Um, it makes me feel good. Every time I feed into that, every time I'm like, Oh, yeah, let's like only go for that more. Yeah. I hurt people. I lose that humility. I mean, I've had jobs where I delivered pizzas for weeks and weeks and weeks, and I'm like, what am I doing? Like, I could do so much more than driving around delivering pizzas. And yet God, like, met me there. And so, um, yeah, I think, oh, what was your question? This is the Crossroads Daily. No experts, no perfect people, just honest conversations about what happens when the Bible shows up in real life. Hey, welcome to Crossroads Daily. My name is Caleb. I'm Alex. I'm Nico. I'm Kirsten. We are in first Samuel chapter 11 today. We're following the early kingship of King Saul. If you know anything about him, this is when stuff's going well. Yeah. So this is exciting to talk about. Good for Saul. Later on, it will not go well. But right now, things are good. So we're going to see what we can learn from this. In first Samuel chapter 11, some bad guys, the Ammonites threatened to attack a city that belongs to Israel. And Saul goes out and takes care of business. Yeah. He does this thing as the new king leads the army and conquers the bad guys. It's pretty great. He's actually acting like a good leader right now. Again, like I said, he doesn't do that for much of his reign, but here at the beginning, he does. There are lots of things we could call out from the chapter. It could be from the chapter or not. What do you see among people that you consider good leaders? What are traits that you see or what's something that makes someone a good leader in your book? I learned this as I started leaning people from my leaders that were helping coach me through that was letting people fail is actually really, really important. That's right. And really hard because they like represent you as a leader. And so some of my best mentors, leaders, bosses, they let me go for things even though they knew it was a bad idea. They could have been like, I think that's a terrible idea, but they're like, you know what, you should try that. Really? Great. And then it goes horribly, and I'm like, why don't you stop me? How else would you have learned that? I could protect you. But until you fail on your own and learn how to navigate that, and it's just healthy to like learn how to fail well, like that's a quality that I've always like looked for. And it was rare. Like I've had lots of leaders and it's rare that they like encourage. Yeah, that's right. Healthy failing. Yeah, I'd add to that because with healthy failing, it's like I also need to be covered in that as well. So covering well in that process, don't just let me fail. And then like, I told you that wasn't going to know what I mean. Exactly. Yeah, it's like, how do you cover me in that process?

And they didn't even help me put the pieces together. You know, I know I had to do that as a life coach, where there were just so many different rules that were in this book. And you know, I didn't necessarily agree with all of the things that I had to kind of uphold amongst the men there. And I would challenge some of these things and I would push back. And then I had a leader who would say, okay, well, how would you do this? And then I would share how. And I'm like, okay, well, let's see, you know, and sometimes it actually did work. And then sometimes I realized like, yeah, maybe we should just go back to the way that you decided, but the way that they covered me in that process. And it wasn't because if their leadership or someone else in the organization caught wind of that, you know, they covered me in those scenarios. So God even lets us do that. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I'm just now seeing that. Yeah. I was, I was reading the other day. I don't know where I saw this and I don't know who said it. So if it was you, sorry, I'm going to steal your quote. But it was something to the effect of like, when a good leader walks in the room, he makes his people feel safer, not stressed, safer, not stressed. And I was like, Oh, dang, that's like really, really good. I can think of a lot of leaders walk in the room and I'm like, oh, stress, right? Did I do a good enough? Are they going to be mad? Oh, yeah. It actually made me think of I grew up running cross country. I know. I know that's that's, you know, a big surprise because I'm so bulky like a football player. I was a runner and you were a runner, right? No, she was hiding from running. I was thinking about my coach who actually just he actually just passed like, He, he made us all feel safe. And I don't know when you, I don't care where you went to high school, cross country was not the sport people cared about, right? It was football or basketball or whatever. But he, he protected us in a way that like, he got us what we needed. He, he like, I don't know how we had like jumpsuits and like sweatshirts like this sport didn't matter. He made us feel safe. He, he coached us well. He pushed us hard and didn't mean that he like, let us skate by, but we knew if it came to it, coach Plummer had her back, right?

He was going to have the bus ready. And even if nobody came to watch us run, he was going to be there, you know, like getting us to the finish line. Just like a fantastic humble leader, they really had a huge impact on my life. Yeah. Do you still have your cross country jumpsuit? I do. I knew it. I knew it. And I'm 41. I knew you did. I haven't grown since high school, I guess. Yeah. So yeah. I don't think that's a dumb thing. I mean, I'm just, I'm just a little person forever. I guess. Shortking. That's what he's got. That's it. Own it then. Right? That's right. Come on. Come on. You mentioned humble leader. I recently read a book on the team that I'm on at work called the ideal team player. Okay. And it says there's three qualities in a great team player on any team. And that's they're really humble, they're hungry, like willing, really driven, willing

to do anything for the team, sacrificial, and they're smart and not like educational book smarts. Although I feel like that can be helpful sometimes in a team player or a leader, but they're people smart. Like they know how to emotionally navigate difficult situations and to handle conversations with people well. And I remember after reading the book, thinking through, okay, that makes a lot of sense for what an ideal team player is, like how I should show up to a team, how I should show up to whoever is leading me at the time. But also, is that different than an ideal team leader or are they the same? And I actually, in my opinion, from the examples of people who have led me, I prefer for the person that I'm being led by to be an ideal team player and cultivate that within a team. And interestingly, I actually feel like that's what Saul is doing, like he's being an ideal team player. Like he's showing up as humble, hungry, and smart. And then when he fails at leadership later, it's like he's forgotten all of those things. And so I think that's really interesting of we're seeing his different, or we will, his different types of leadership. Do we know how old he is? I don't think we do, but he actually, we do a couple chapters ago, I'm going to find it. I'm just curious. Yeah, it says something to the effect of like he became king when he was 30 and he arranged 42 years, actually it's the next chapter, it's chapter 13, Saul was 30 years old when he became king. He arranged 42 years. Oh, wow. Yeah. So he was a, a youngish guy. Yeah.

Young professional, you know, 30s like that age where you're like, yeah, you're still sitting. I'm doing it. I'm humbling. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. He is a king, right? Yeah. Like kind of important. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Talking about you, good leaders let you fail, right? Why, why do you think, I think this is true. Tell me if I'm wrong. I think that success can be even more dangerous to your development than failure. Do you think that's true and why do you think that is? Oh, yeah. I have pride issues, Kirsten has pride issues. Every time I succeed, I don't know what it is about like my history or like how I made or my sin or what it is, but I get flooded with like, like I need more, like I love affirmation. I love succeeding. I love doing things well. It makes me feel good and every time it like, every time I feed into that, every time I'm like, oh yeah, let's like only go for that more. Yeah. I hurt people. I lose that humility. I forget where I've come from, you know, I mean, I've had jobs where I delivered pizzas driving around delivering pizzas. And yet God like met me there. And so, um, yeah, I think,

Oh, what was your question? I don't know the why I wish I did, but I just know from experience that it is a horrible thing in my life. So you guys know a solution. I'm all ears because really, I just got to figure it out every time. I wouldn't say solution, but I definitely have had those struggles. It's I guess because like the success shines the light on you a bit. And we can either be vessels for that, you know, glory to go to God or we can be hoarders of that. And very similar to, you know, Satan and heaven, you know, and I think at times, like I realized that like, wow, God, I'm hoarding your glory, the language I believe he's given me even at times, it's like, Lord, I can feel the contention in my heart for your glory. And for me, I think that like, I'll feel the contention in my heart. And then I'll also feel the weight of it. So even when I find myself operating in pride, I'm constantly waiting for my name to be called. I'm seeking validation, right? The things and everything that I'm doing, like my motives begin to shift. So even the things that I'm doing, it's not so much spirit led. It's, you know, it can, I can find myself doing the thing. And even if it starts out good, somewhere creeps in, like, how do I get recognized for this, or do they know I said this, you know, and yeah, I hate it. I literally have prayed to God, like, Lord, why is I hate this thing in my heart? Which is like more and more taking me to this place of like, when it talks about Assam 139, search my heart, oh, Lord, I pray that all the time, like, you don't even know some of the things hidden in the crevices of your heart. And sometimes success reveals that, man. Yeah. Yeah. So I think part of what you're saying is like, when, when you have that success and when you have that contention in your heart, I think it's because we feel like, Oh, I can do this on my own. Yeah. I succeeded. So even if it's something that God may happen for us, at least for me, I'm like, ah, got this. Yeah. And then I should get the credit for it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just to dig in a little deeper on that, how has God revealed that to you? Yeah. Yeah. What comes to mind, um, really good question, I'm reminded of a time where this is when I was pursuing different business, um, when I had some business pursuits, and I was, and I would talk to God about, you know, I was talking to God about the things that that we were doing. It was in logistics and just had a heart. I really wanted this thing to be successful. I found favor and some of the conversations and things that I was having with different customers and things. And I would just, I was like running after this thing hard. And I was having a conversation with, um, someone and they were just going through a really tough time,

like financially and just things that they were dealing with. And I really felt like a burden in my heart to help them. And I couldn't. And I was so frustrated. And I remember talking to God and saying, see God, this is why I like, this is my why behind wanting to be successful and, and, and have a business and be, this is my why right here. And I'm, I was fully convinced. Like that was my why, like that was a big chunk of my why. And the Holy Spirit said something to me in that moment. And he said, um, okay, DeMico, what if I do it differently? What if I help them? What if I bless them differently in a way that doesn't require you to be successful or for you to be the one that does the thing. And in that moment, I was like, well, why would you do it that way? And what revealed to me is like, do you still have that same passion or burn for this if it doesn't require you to be in this seat of success? And it was like, wow. So even in this right now, as convicted as I feel and passionate as I feel about helping this person, it's still about me. It is still about me. And I did not realize it until that moment. I'm like, oh, my, my heart is so deceitfully wicked. I would have never realized that because I was so convinced that my why was to help people. And then he revealed that to me. And yeah, that's, that's, yeah. And so it is so easy to make your life about you even in your wins. Yeah. It's so easy to make it about you. So my challenge for you today is where are you winning? You're winning somewhere. I know it's easy to look at the losses. Let's just throw them in our back pocket for a second. You're winning somewhere, even if it's just you got up today and you watch this podcast, take a second and just thank God for that. Thank God for a new day, for an opportunity, for a phone or a computer. and whatever else comes to mind. Give some honor, some glory, some gratitude back to God. And I think it'll shift your day today. We'll see you next time. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)