Your Kids Are Watching You | Adam Weber

If I were to ask all of you, do you want your kids to grow up and someday be thankful people? My guess is you'd say, absolutely. I hope my kids are thankful. But are you a thankful person? And if I were to ask, do you want your kids to be people of integrity? Oh my gosh, absolutely. I want them to be people of integrity, men and women of integrity. But are you a person of integrity? And do you want your kids to make their faith a priority? You'd say, I for sure do. It's the most important thing in my life. But I just gotta ask, looking at your life, is it the most important thing? And here's the thing I'll tell you, the most important thing. So today we are in the second week of our series called Raise Them Up, where we're talking about parenting and how to raise up our kids, but even more widely than that, we're talking about the importance of pouring into the next generation as a whole. You see, as Travis shared last week, whether you're a parent, you're a mentor, a coach, a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle, a youth leader, a college student, basically, whether you have kids or not, every single one of us as Jesus followers is called and commanded to pour into the next generation. Well, speaking of parenting, this week I sent a group text to my kids. We have a family text thread and I jumped into it and I said, hey, have I said or done anything strange or crazy lately as a dad? Well, my daughter, it was like she was waiting for the opportunity. It's like, finally, I can give my old man the truth. Okay, so my daughter, she fires back and she says, yeah, dad, when you keep saying that someday when our dog Senator dies, that you're going to turn him into a rug. Before you start judging me, okay, in my defense, Senator is like the softest fur you've ever felt and I'm going to miss him so much. And so I want to turn him into a rug just to acknowledge it.

I did find this story online. And so it turns out I'm not the only psychopath that's out there. Okay. And so two seconds later though, so she sends that two seconds later, my daughter texts again. I'm like, okay, baby, let's spread the wealth a little bit. Let the other siblings chime in. And she said, yeah, dad, like when you try and place my order at Taco Bell and I want a Baja Blast and you keep telling them Baja Blaster. It's not Baja Blaster, it's Baja Blast. Dad, you're so cringe. And so my daughter, she didn't hesitate to light me up. And then the only other kid that I heard from, my son, Wilson, all he typed was six, seven, six, seven, which I think means I'm like the most awesome dad ever. All joking aside, when it comes to parenting, just know that in this area in particular, I'm a huge work in progress. It's the reason we haven't done a parenting series previously. Genuinely, the last two years have been the most humbling, challenging years of parenting that Beck and I have had so far. Truly few things will make you pray more than raising up kids. And also few things will make your soul more vulnerable than raising up kids. In the 19 years that I've been a parent, I've discovered that you can learn all kinds of things about parenting. And you can read all the right books and you can listen to all the right podcasts. And as a parent, we can say all the right things. But more than anything else, what matters is how we live as a parent, how we live as a mentor, how we live as a teacher, how we live as a grandparent. Truly, more than what you say, it's how you live. Let me say that again. Mom and dad, more than what you say, it's how you live. My close friend who also happens to be a well-known therapist, Jason Van Ruller, he's incredible. The other day on Instagram, he posted this. Your number one parenting mistake, believe in your words, teach more than your actions. Seriously, just think about this. If I were to ask all of you, do you want your kids to grow up and someday be thankful people? My guess is you'd say, absolutely. I hope my kids are thankful.

but are you a thankful person? And if I were to ask, do you want your kids to be people of integrity? Oh my gosh, absolutely. I want them to be people of integrity, men and women of integrity, but are you a person of integrity? And do you want your kids to make their faith a priority? You'd say, I for sure do. It's the most important thing in my life, but I just gotta ask, looking at your life, is it the most important thing? Does it even make the top 10? I don't know about you, but I so badly want my kids to be this, and I want my kids to be that, but are we modeling it? Because once again, more than what you say, it's how you live. Listen to this, scripture has so much to say about living it out and being an example. The apostle Paul, he says this in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity. Show yourself as an example. Show yourself as an example of those who believe. And then to the church in Corinth, Paul, he says this, follow my example as I follow the example of Christ. Now, kind of cool, this word example, it can also mean to mimic, to mimic Jesus.

And gosh, as parents, that's what our kids do with us, isn't it? They mimic us. Kind of funny, something that drives my wife insane. She doesn't know I'm sharing this, and she's gonna be like, amen, when she gets this far, is if I think I'm in trouble for any reason, I automatically say I love you to her. If I think I'm in trouble, I love you. I don't even think about it. It just comes out, I love you. Well, my youngest son, Anderson, is a carbon copy of me. No kidding, just look at these pictures. Oh, there they are. They'll come up maybe in a second here. I showed Anderson the picture of me, and he thought it was him. We look exactly the same. I just don't get to go to great clips. My mom cut my hair growing up. Mom, I love you. I love you so much, Nancy Weber. You did a great job with my hair, or something. Well, when Anderson's in trouble, he does the same thing that his old man does. He says, I love you. So the other day, my wife was upset, and Anderson and I, we didn't know who was at fault this time. We were like, I can't do this.

It's like, it's one of us, I know. And so at the exact same time, and I'm not kidding, the exact same time, both Anderson and I from separate rooms yelled, I love you, to which my wife yelled back, and I'm not making this up. She says, I feel like I'm entering the twilight zone. All joking aside, this is exactly what happens. Paul says, follow my example. Mimic me as I follow the example of Christ. Once again, more than what you say, and read, and listen to, more than what you say, it's how you live. Now, as parents, there are so many different areas that we can and we need to be a model to our kids. Like, I think about treating people well. As good Midwesterners, we do this really, really well face-to-face, but what about after we leave the presence of that person? What about afterwards? Do we start talking smack about them behind their back? And also, what about being generous? That's an area that we should model, financially speaking, and this is weird to share, Becca and I, we tie it, and we give to the church, and we give to other nonprofits as well. Why? Well, because one of the main reasons we do, we hope and pray that our kids, when it comes to their finances, that they'll be generous people, too.

I also think about honoring people, whether it's a Vietnam vet, like I walked past yesterday, a police officer, a school teacher. I always, always, always try to go out of my way and say thank you. The man yesterday was two sangas. I saw his hat. Thank you for serving. Why? Because I want my kids to do the same. So again, there's all these different areas that we can, and we should be a model to our kids. Today, though, as I thought about this message, and as I was praying about it, I had three specific areas rise to the surface, three specific areas that we need to be a model to our kids, and the first area is this. Let your yes be yes. Friends, when it comes to raising up your kids, when it comes to being a role model, let your yes be yes, and this is so simple, right? It's like, pastor, get to the deep stuff, and yet it was important enough for Jesus himself to help. Highlight this, Jesus says this, again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made. But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all, Jesus says. All you need to say is simply yes or no.

Anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Let your yes be your yes. Just to highlight this, friends, this is an integrity issue. Jesus is saying, when you say yes, mean it. You say yes, it's a yes. Jesus is like, you don't need to say an oath. There's no need for vows. Simply let your yes be your yes. Today, for all of us, are your words wishy-washy? Or do they mean something? Like when you say yes or no, do your kids kind of roll their eyes? Yeah, Mom, sure. Yeah, Dad, sure. Or do they know that when you say it, you mean it? At the risk of sounding like I'm 90 years old, it feels like nowadays our words don't carry much weight. I just think about my parents' generation, or even more so, I think about my grandparents' generation. Their words meant something. They showed up when it was inconvenient. They showed up and they helped. Why? Because they said they would show up and they would help. They didn't need to post about it on Instagram and said what they said, they simply did. To all of us, let your yes be your yes with the small things. When you tell your kids you're gonna be somewhere, let your yes be your yes.

When you tell your kids you're gonna do something, let your yes be your yes. And this is so important. Don't just do this with your kids. Some of us are really good at doing this with our kids. Do it with other people as well. When you say that you're gonna help out with someone, you're gonna help them. When you tell someone you're gonna send an email, when you tell someone that you're gonna be a part of something, let your yes be your yes once again. Your kids are always watching and they mimic. They follow your example. Do it with small things, but also big things as well. I'm gonna pay you back this money. I'm gonna finish this project for you. Let your yes be your yes. Or how about this, when your marriage gets really, really, really hard and the feelings are all gone, your kids are watching you, mom and dad, stick with your marriage. This applies to you empty nesters as well. Grandma and grandpa, stick to your marriage. Let your yes be your yes. Okay, so that's the first thing, the first area. Now, the second area that you and I need to be a model to our kids is this. Find purpose in your work.

Yes, find purpose in your work. Now, I know that this kind of feels out of place in a parenting message series, but just think about it. So much of our adult lives is our work. And how we view our work and how we come home from our work, it most definitely will impact our kids. Growing up for me, my dad was an electrician. He started working when he was 20 years old, learning underneath a gal, an electrician named Goldie, which I just love that part of the story. And then several years after getting his license and working for Goldie, he was able to start his own business, Weber Electric. And so my dad, he pulled wires and he installed light switches and breaker boxes. But for him, it was so much more than that. You see, it's where my dad found purpose. Like to my dad, pulling wires, it was an art form. Even though you wouldn't be able to see his work after the sheet rock went in, his wires were all straight. They looked pretty. I always loved when he called the breaker box the art gallery. To my dad, he took so much pride in his work. And honestly, looking back, it's one of the ways that he worshiped God. He found purpose in his work. And speaking of my dad's work, it was also his mission field. Whether it was a customer of his or it was a rough around the edges plumber

that was sitting next to him on a five-gallon bucket. My dad, he always tried to be kind and honest and positive and willing to serve. He always honored my mom with his words, which isn't the norm at a work site. His hope was to push people closer to Jesus. For several summers, I had the honor. I didn't know it was an honor until years later. Later, I had the honor of being in the work with my dad. And when people found out that I was Jim's kid, they all started gushing to me, gushing about my dad, telling me my dad is such a good man. Again, he found purpose in his work. Something else that stuck out to me with my dad, and this seems foreign today, I never heard my dad complain about hard work, ever. And he never expected anything that is to be given to him, and he never gossiped behind the back of customers or behind other subs. He never mumbled, I can't wait to be done. Just the opposite today, my dad only wishes. He only wishes that he was healthy enough to do it all because he found purpose in his work. My mom, a school teacher who became a principal, modeled the exact same thing. You see these kids, they mimic what they see. And I truly believe that as their son, it's one of the greatest gifts that I was given. Years ago, my dad, he wrote down a Bible verse for me to memorize.

This is the card I found on my bookshelf. My dad wrote down 1 Peter 4.10, which says, each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others. Faithfully administering God's grace. In its various forms. And on the back, he wrote, Adam, our job should be as if we're working for Christ and done in the spirit of Christ, dad. Man, just to ask all you moms and dads, when it comes to your work, what are you modeling? To be clear, I'm not encouraging you to become a workaholic, just the opposite. I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying for the sake of raising up your kids well, whether you're a banker, a stay-at-home parent, you're an electrician, you're a pastor, you're a teacher without biological kids of your own, you're retired and you volunteer, what are you portraying to the eyes of those who are younger that are watching you and mimicking you? Like in front of your kids, are you quick to complain about work? Are you quick to complain about hard work? Are you quick to cut corners? Are you quick to only do the bare minimum in front of your kids? Are you quick to gossip and talk smack about your coworkers or your boss?

Or are you finding purpose in your work, deep joy in your work, ministry in your work? Are you worshiping God with your work? Are you worshiping God with the quality of your work, worshiping him with your attitude at work? For all of us as parents, as mentors, even as college students, for the sake of the generation around you, find purpose in your work. Okay, so today, the third area when it comes to raising up our kids, pouring into the next generation, being an example and a model, here's the third thing today, walk with Jesus daily. Let me say that again, walk with Jesus daily. For Becca and I as parents, when it comes to our kids' spiritual lives, we have a few non-negotiables for our kids and everything else they get to choose. My wife grew up as a PK, a pastor's kid, and she grew up really feeling legalistic. And we really prayed about what are the non-negotiables and then everything else they can choose. And so the first non-negotiable in the Weber household is we're going to church on Sunday mornings. I honestly don't care what else is going on. On a Sunday morning, if we're in town and you're not sick, we're going to church. And if we're out of town, there's still a high chance

we're going to church. Second thing's on Wednesday nights, you're going to youth group. I honestly don't care if you have practice, there's an important rehearsal, I'm so sorry. Before everything else, you're going to youth. Third thing, we pray before we eat and before we go to bed, we try to do so there. Just for the record, it's mass chaos, okay? Don't picture four kids lined up with their hands bowed and raising hand in front of their pastor or dad. No, mass chaos. Some of them are falling asleep, some of them are walking out of the room. It's quick, but we're praying. Last thing that we really try to challenge our kids with, believe it or not, is tithing. Beck and I have seen God provide for us time and time again. It's what we just got done singing about, the Lord being faithful. Just in the area of generosity, we've just found so much joy. And so that's our fourth non-negotiable. So again, these are non-negotiables, but everything else, they get to choose. You see, we want them for it to be theirs. And so we want them to be able to choose or not choose. We want their faith to be their own. And so youth retreats, well, they're not on Wednesday nights. It's their choice.

Reading your Bible, we always try to have the absolute best Bible for that age group or best devotional possible for them, but it's their choice. Going to a worship night, getting baptized, attending a Bible study, their choice. Working at Chick-fil-A, fasting, casting out demons, being nailed to a cross, all their choice. My oldest did work at Chick-fil-A, so need to say that. Now I will say, and I thank God for this, even though our kids have seen the good, bad, the otherwise in this specific church called Embrace, I thank God our kids love the church. I thank God that they absolutely love youth. When we're on vacation and they miss it, they protest that we're on vacation and we're not back home on a Wednesday night because they don't want to miss it. When it comes to praying, they don't mind praying. In the area of tithing, you can pray for their souls, okay? I'm not sure how they're doing in that area. But when it comes to parenting and being a model for our kids, Beck and I are so far from perfect. Have I mentioned the last two years have been the hardest two years in this area? We're so far from perfect, but the number one thing that we're attempting to do every single day is we walk with Jesus daily. We walk with him daily.

How does this look for Beck and I every day? We're reading our Bibles. Every day, Beck and I, we're praying. On a regular basis, I'll just start randomly, audibly praying in front of them. They probably think that I've certified lost my mind, but I want them to see my relationship with Jesus. When I'm driving, I'll start singing and I'll be worshiping God at the top of my lungs in front of my kids. Almost every single day, I tell my kids in some way, shape, or form how dependent I am and how desperate I am on Jesus. More than anything else, so every single day, I pray the fruits of the Spirit, that God's joy and his peace and his gentleness and his faithfulness will be so present in my words and my attitudes and my actions. And yes, I fall short every day, but every day I ask the Holy Spirit to fill me. And moms and dads, grandparents, mentors, college students, maybe you can relate, there are so many times where I wonder and I question. If I suck as a dad, often, just to confess it, I can be so critical at times. I hate it. I can be so passionate, also known as intense at times. I grieve it. Every single day, I fall so short. But when you and I are dependent on him

and we're trusting in him, God moves. He moves for us as parents, as teachers, as college students, and it impacts the kids, our kids around us. The other day, I had a moment that reminded me of God's faithfulness. It's like, Lord, you're faithful. It was a Saturday, and my daughter, Grayson, who's a freshman in high school, randomly asked me, Dad, can you bring me to my Bible study? I said, sure, baby, I didn't know you were in a Bible study. I said, who's leading your group? I expected her to mention one of the youth leaders or something like that here on Wednesday nights or something, but she said, me and Ayla are. Ayla's her friend. I'm like, what? What? She's like, yeah, Ayla and I, we started this group. I said, whose idea was it? And she says, it was mine. And so I drove her to Starbucks, and I dropped her off, and then an hour and a half later, I came and I picked her up, and I thought it was gonna be maybe her and Ayla and one other friend. And then, Grayson, she showed me this picture. I honestly couldn't believe it. Just to say it, it was a highlight moment for me as a dad. Best part, on my way home, Grayson asked me, she said, Best part, on my way home, Grayson asked me, she said,

Dad, do you ever think I could be a youth pastor? I said back, baby, Grayson, I think you would make an amazing, amazing pastor. Friends, the Lord is faithful. Once again, when it comes to raising up your kids, when it comes to modeling a life for them, walk with Jesus daily. Well, to close today, when I was thinking about this message, for whatever reason, I started thinking about the vows that we say as parents whenever our kids are dedicated or baptized. And to be clear, we're not doing any dedications or baptisms, but I couldn't help just thinking about these vows. It just kept coming to mind, and I just want us to look at these three questions that we ask all the parents, and really just listen to them. The first question is this. Do you confess that Jesus is your personal Lord and Savior? Just to ask moms and dads, mentors, teachers, have you made Jesus your Lord, which means he's the one who's in control of your life, and have you made him your Savior? Have you asked Jesus to save you from your sins? If you have not done this, moms and dads, man, do it today. Literally, right now, just declare to Jesus, today, I want you to be my Lord, and I want you to be my Savior. And then some point today, or later this week, tell your kids, tell your nieces, your nephews,

tell your grandkids, if you made this decision a long time ago, and yet you've never told your kids, you've never told your grandkids, today's the day. Grandma, today's the day. You're not waiting until tomorrow, today's the day. There's no greater thing for them to know about grandma, about mom and dad, than this, so tell them. But then here's the second and third question. The second question, do you accept, as your duty and privilege, to live a life that looks like Jesus, to bring your children up in the Christian faith, and to teach them God's word? And then the third question is this. Will you do your best to keep your children under care and guidance of the church until they, by the power of God, begin to follow Jesus for themselves? And that second question, the two words that always strike me, is duty and privilege. Doesn't that sum up parenting so well? Today, though, I just wanna ask all you parents, how are you doing with these three questions? How are you doing at living a life that looks like Jesus? How are you doing at teaching them God's word? How are you doing at bringing them up in the church? To be clear, I highlight this, not to make you feel guilty or shameful. Instead, I do so only to remind you that as Jesus followers, there is no greater duty

and privilege on this earth. I say it as a friend, as a fellow person who's on the journey myself, so that you and I, we don't get to the end, only to realize that you've succeeded in all areas as a parent, except in the most important area, walking with Jesus daily. You see, my hope and my prayer for all of us is that our kids will mimic us, and more than us, that they will mimic Jesus. And so right now, at all campuses, to all you moms and dads, but also to you mentors, youth leaders, coaches, aunts and uncles, I just wanna ask all these three questions right now. And at all three campuses, I wanna encourage you to audibly respond to these questions, okay? And so the first question is this, do you confess that Jesus is your personal Lord and Savior? If so, answer, I do, I do. Second question, do you accept as your duty and privilege to live a life that looks like Jesus, to bring your children up in a Christian faith and to teach them God's word? If so, answer, I do, I do. And then lastly, will you do your best to keep your children on the care and guidance of the church until they, by the power of God, begin to follow Jesus for themselves? If so, answer, I will, I will. Let's pray.

Gracious Father, we come before you so thankful for who you are, thankful for the example that you give us, thankful for the example that we find in Jesus, Lord, as a dad, I say this every time we do baptisms and dedications, I fall so short, we fall so short, Lord, and yet it's all about keeping our eyes on you. And it's all about you, we can't, but you can. And so as moms and dads, grandparents and mentors, teachers, just all of us, college students, would you fill us with your Holy Spirit? Would you fill us with your Holy Spirit? Would we be people whose yes is a yes and no is a no? Would we be people who find purpose in our work? Would we be people who walk with you daily? Lord, and somehow, someway through our imperfect lives, would you use us to be an example? And would our kids mimic us? More than anything, would they mimic you? Lord, we love you, we thank you, we pray all these things in the name of Jesus. Amen, amen. Hey, friends, it's Adam from Embrace. If today's message encouraged you, be sure to hit the subscribe button to our YouTube channel to see all new messages as they drop. Also feel free to click here and check out more of our videos. Thanks so much for watching.

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