Your Future Self Will Thank You | Bob Merritt

If you want God's richest blessing on your life, if you want God's abundant peace, some of us don't have peace, we're just anxious all the time. If you want his peace, if you want his protection over your life and over your family, if you want his prosperity to fall upon you, you've got to make pre-decisions about what you will never ever do. You'll draw a line in the sand and you will say to yourself right here in church, I'm making a pre-decision here today, I will never cross this line. Well, welcome Embrace, what a fantastic church you are. 17th fastest growing church in the nation, right here. The goal is not to become big, the goal is to reach people one by one with the fantastic news that Jesus loves them, died for their sins, can be forgiven, healed, renewed, and what a fantastic senior pastor you have. Adam and I are very good friends, he's one of the best in the nation. God is using him, pray for him. It's an amazing thing what's happening here at this church at all campuses. Travis, the whole staff, I mean it's just a phenomenal church that we get to be a part of. And by the way, thanks to all of you for coming to church today when the Vikings are playing. You are going to heaven, okay, for making that little sacrifice and that probably they'll probably lose anyway so you're not missing much. But anyway, great to be with you today. I want to start with a question just to kind of get your thinking going. Have you ever made a bad decision that you wish you could take back? I've made hundreds of bad decisions and one I'm willing to share in public happened 25 years ago. My wife and I boarded a plane to attend a marriage conference in Fort Lauderdale, but before the conference we built in

two extra days just to be alone together and reconnect as husband and wife. We're in a good mood, happy to get away. And after the plane took off, I lifted the armrest between us and accidentally dumped her Diet Coke all over her skirt. That put a chill on things. I hoped the next day would be better, but as we walked along the beach, the subject of our kids came up. And I confessed to my wife that our son, who was 14, would not be in school this Thursday. It was take your son or daughter to work day where the kids could either go to their parents' workplace or go on a field trip like bowling. So when my son David asked me if he could design his own field trip on a golf course with two of his friends, I said, will it be educational? He said, well, absolutely. There's a little math involved, keeping score, there's some physics. I said, Dave, how will you get to your field trip? He said, grandma will take us. I thought, a little math, a little time with gram sounds like an excellent idea. But when I mentioned David's field trip to Laurie, she said, you what? And I knew I was in trouble because she had already told him no, and I knew she had told him no. But instead of apologizing, I thought, well, maybe if I dig in and defend myself, she'll let it go. She did not let it go. Her next words were, how could you be so stupid and then lie to me? I said, well, you know, I really didn't lie, but she was not having it. And standing there on the beach, we got into a full-blown argument about our families of origin. Oh, you're just like your father and you're just like your mother. I can't believe I married you. Laurie said that to me. We went on and on like that for two hours until we just sat down in the sand, exhausted, angry, facing opposite directions. And the worst part, we had to be around a bunch of annoying people at a marriage conference the next three days. Well, after two days of

silence and hurt feelings, my wife, Laurie, made an incredible, noble decision. She decided to forgive Give me. And forgiveness, gang, is not a feeling. You will never feel like forgiving someone, ever. Forgiveness is not something that's enjoyable or fun. It is a decision of the will to forgive someone who wronged you, and you're going to choose to let it go. And when she chose to forgive me, our feelings for each other began to return. Although, when she re-read this story last week, she said, I'm still mad at you for that. 25 years ago. I mean, women remember everything. Don't let it go. Men do the same. But experts say we make thousands of decisions every day, most of which are minor. You know, when to get up, what to eat, wear, or watch. Other decisions are more important. Should I go to college? Should I date a certain person? Should I change careers? But then some decisions are life-altering. Do I get married? To whom? Do we have kids? Should we tragically end this marriage? Most of us can define our lives around three or four major decisions

that either set us on a path of incredible blessings or agonizing regrets. I mean, the most important decision I made was to become a follower of Jesus Christ when I was six years old. The second most important decision was to marry Laurie Thompson. And I can tell you, those two decisions put me on a path of reward that would be radically different if I had chosen to reject Jesus Christ and marry Susie, Joyce, or Carlene. They were all great gals. Now, all of us make bad decisions about people we wish we wouldn't have dated, money we wish we wouldn't have spent, places we wish we wouldn't have gone. Some of those decisions simply embarrass us. But gang, other decisions can set us back an entire decade. I'm 68 years old, and I can tell you that every decision you and I make about school, work, money, and friendships matter. It matters if and where you go to school. It matters who your friends are, what you read, and if you go to church or go to counseling. Those of you in your teens and 20s, it really matters if you study or not, if you work or not, are truthful or not, or if you have sex before marriage or not. You might think that a certain decision

in your teens or 20s won't affect you when you're 40, 50, or 60, but I am telling you every decision you make will impact your future for good or for bad. And there are a few decisions that are deal breakers. Gang, there are reasons why certain people almost always do well in life, and why others almost always struggle in life. Isn't this true? We make our decisions, and then our decisions end up making us. Your life and mine is the sum total of all the decisions that we make. And if you're sitting here kind of sinking in your chair, thinking to yourself, well, there's no hope for me. I've made so many bad decisions. Gang, that's not true. You can still carve out a better life in every area of life, but it's got to start today. I mean, the only thing worse than making a bad decision is to keep on making that same bad decision over and over and over again. So you can start today. I love the series that Adam and Travis have been teaching through this fall called Wrestling With God. And in the first message in this series, Adam asked a very important question. The question was this, what are you trading your future for

to get right now? What are you giving up that could happen in your future? What great thing, what great event, what great relationship could you have in the future, but you're trading all of that for something right now that you want? He focused on two brothers in the Bible, Jacob and Esau. Esau came in from a long day of hunting. He was so hungry, he just wanted to eat. So he said to his younger brother, Jacob, let me have some of the stew you've made. I'm starving to death. And knowing how impulsive Esau was, Jacob said to Esau, first, sell me your birthright. And in a moment of weakness, Esau traded his entire future for a single Happy Meal. I mean, he gave it all away. He gave away the land, the money, his inheritance, everything. That single decision affected Esau the rest of his life. And it says in verse 17, that when he realized what he had done, he wept bitterly. This is such an emotion of deep loss that he can barely breathe. And maybe some of you know what that feels like, to lose something so precious that it nearly cripples you

and affects you to this day. In fact, ever since that day, you've regretted that decision. And I want to just tell you in love that with God's help and healing, you can recover some of that. But what I want to do in the time remaining is offer four principles to making great decisions. By the way, doesn't matter how many bad decisions you've made or how much you've lost, God still loves you. Knows you by name. Knows every tension in your life, every fear. Knows how you're put together. He created you with your unique personality. God loves you. Romans 8, 39 says nothing can separate you. Nothing can separate you from God's love. What does this word nothing mean? It means nothing. No failure, no sin, nothing in your past can separate you from this great God who loves you through and through. Friends, God is for you. And with his help, you can start making great decisions today and carve out a great life. So here we go. First principle is this to making great decisions.

You got to identify your values because you can't make good decisions unless you know what your values are. I was blessed with great parents who loved God. They loved each other. So by the time I was 16, I pretty much knew what my values were, what I valued most in life. And I began to list them. There are five of them. I knew at an early age, I wanted to have a solid faith in Jesus Christ. I wanted to have a great marriage. Okay, anybody can get married, but I wanted to have a great marriage. I wanted to have a purposeful career. I wanted to be financially sound and I wanted to be physically fit as much as I could. So virtually every decision I've made since I was 16 was based on how would this decision impact these five values. So for example, if I wanted to have a solid faith, I knew I would have to go to church. I mean, that's just an automatic choice. I knew that I would have to read my Bible on a daily basis for God to speak to me through his word. I knew I would have to pray. Those were actions that I had to do in order to have a solid faith that would carry me all the way through my life.

If I wanted a great marriage someday, I knew I had to develop my character and I had to stay sexually pure. I just knew that. If I wanted to be financially sound, I would have to work, save and avoid debt. Almost every decision I've ever made was based on how will this affect my faith, marriage, career, and so forth. One of the questions you should ask yourself this week is what do I really want in life? Now, this is a question you really have to sit with and think about. What do I really want long-term besides more money? I mean, that's kind of the first answer. If we're honest, that's what we'd say. But besides that, what do you really want? What would make you really truly happy and truly fulfilled? Because some people are financially rich, but they're relationally poor. That's a bad trade-off. I mean, nothing wrong with money. We all need some of it, but almost every decision I make is based on this question. Will this help or hurt the things that I value, the things that I value the most? So if you don't know, if you don't know what your values are, what you're trying to get out of life, you're just gonna drift

and you're just gonna make random decisions based on feelings or whatever. and your losses will begin to pile up and they will turn into regrets. So identify your values, number one. Second, you got to measure the cost of your decisions, especially the big ones. A few years ago, our favorite tree became infested with Japanese beetles, thousands of them, just swarming. So I went to a tree nursery and they sold me a trap that supposedly smelled like a love potion for beetles. And I thought, this isn't gonna work. How can anybody manufacture a love potion for beetles? I sat on my porch reading the instructions. I opened the package and I was instantly swarmed by dozens of beetles. I mean, it was a virtual love fest right there on my porch. I quickly stuck the trap in my front yard and within minutes, it started filling up. Beetle after beetle flew over, crashed into the plastic guard, dropped into the bag to his death. I mean, it was a thing of beauty just watching this happen. An hour later, the bag was half full. Now, you would think a discerning beetle would catch on. You would think that one of them would say, you know, that bag over there looks like trouble. Every time one of my friends goes near it, he doesn't come back.

So this beetle decides to fly over to see for himself and he hears his friends yelling for help. They're struggling to get out. But then he catches a whiff of this love potion and he thinks to himself, how can something that smells so good be so bad? And his friends yell at him. They say, don't do it. Don't make the same mistake we did. But amazingly, he ignores their warning. He crashes into the guard and he drops into the bag. His friends look at him and they say, didn't you hear us? What a beetle brain you are. But gang, I'm telling you, I think that trap is an accurate picture of what happens to people all the time. They see the trap, they hear the warnings, they see person after person crash and drop, crash and burn, but here's what they think. That'll never happen to me. And it's like, who told you to do that? What made you think that was a good idea? Why did you send that text? Why did you make that purchase? Why did you pursue that relationship that you knew would cost you? How many of us have thought, if I only would have listened to my parents instead of my beetle brain boyfriend, or my pastor instead of my beetle brain roommate,

or a financial advisor instead of that infomercial 2AM. Gang, all of us, all of us know people who've paid an enormous price for over-drinking, over-spending, or sex outside of marriage that led to untold loss and untold pain. I promise you, and I say this in love, the cost of poor decisions are real and they're lasting. Hebrews 12, 16 says it this way, make sure, make sure that nobody does this. Nobody is immoral or godless like Esau who traded his birthright as the firstborn son for a single meal. Watch this, later when he wanted his father's blessing, he was rejected, look at this next phrase, it was too late. Which means that some of our dreams are not gonna come true. Because of a decision we made last year, or five years ago, or 10 years ago, we kind of forfeited the dream. And my advice for those of us who are especially younger, my advice, learn from the mistakes of other people and avoid the pain yourself. When you see somebody train wreck, or become addicted, or lose a relationship, watch that and say, that looks like that's hurtful. That looks like a bad ending, I think I will avoid that. If it's already happened in your life, some sort of crisis or loss, gang once again,

this is the reason Jesus came to this world, to offer forgiveness, and healing, and redemption. I'm a sinner just like everybody else and my only cure. is for God's forgiveness for all the stupid things I've done. But I'm telling you, save yourself the pain and measure the cost to bad decisions, okay? Number three, pre-decide what you'll never ever do. This is so important. This past summer, I made a really bad decision and I flew over my handlebars. First time I've ever done this in my life. I was cruising at 18 miles an hour when I heard the irresistible sound of low-flying planes behind me. I am mesmerized by airplanes. And these were cargo planes. I could hear them and I wanted to see them and watch them just go through the air. So I craned my neck. I was riding, I craned my neck, try to locate these cargo planes. And I'm telling you, that's all it took. I lost control, sailed down over the embankment. I was going to crash and this was going to be bad. My front wheel hit a deep hole, my bike stopped and I went airborne over my handlebars. Just picture a bald little preacher in spandex shorts, you know, just kind of flying through the air, sailing through the air. I had enough time to think, this is really going to hurt.

Landed hard, knocked the wind out of me and I laid there in shock. And my point is, I'm 68, I should know better. And I still make bad decisions, but you know what I will never ever do again? I have pre-decided that I will never ever again look at planes while riding my bike. When I was 16, no kidding, I pre-decided that I would never spend money on things I don't need to impress people I don't even like. At 16, I made a pre-decision that I would never ever carry credit card debt. I made a pre-decision that I would never ever have sex before marriage or outside of marriage. And at 16, I made a pre-decision that I would never let sports or travel take priority over attending church or giving 10% of my income back to God. Friends, this is huge, this is huge. If you want God's richest blessing on your life, if you want God's abundant peace, some of us don't have peace, we're just anxious all the time. If you want his peace, if you want his protection over your life and over your family, if you want his prosperity to fall upon you, you've got to make pre-decisions about what you will never ever do. You will draw a line in the sand and you will say to yourself right here in church,

I'm making a pre-decision here today, I will never cross this line. Finally today, if you want to make great decisions, you got to saturate your heart and your mind with God's wisdom. I mean, some decisions are just not that hard because the Bible is very clear about it. Tell the truth, stay out of debt, don't get drunk, avoid sexual sin, and don't date people who do those things. I'm telling you, 95% of all the decisions we have to make in life are in the Bible. But what's concerning to me is how many people make major decisions without God's wisdom because they don't know or they don't read God's word on a daily basis. I've read through the book of Proverbs hundreds of times. It saved my life, especially as a young person. I just want to show you four verses that, I mean, Proverbs is filled with this stuff, but this one here, a companion of fools suffers harm. I take this verse very seriously. It means if you're hanging around foolish people all the time, you're going to suffer harm. So it's a question of who are your friends? Do you have godly good people in your life on a regular basis, keeping you sharp, keeping you engaged in the wise things in life, or are you just hanging with a bunch of idiots? And I know it's difficult to find great people.

I know that, but you got to think through this. Make sure you're in places where you're going to find great people. This one, our words have the power of life. A single word, a single statement. can breathe life and joy into your child's life, or your spouse's life, your co-worker's life, just as a careless word can just destroy somebody. Let's be careful with our words. Commit to the Lord whatever you do. God, I don't know the future, but I'm going to commit my education to you. I'm going to commit my work to you. My plans will succeed if I say, God, I need your help. I'm committing my life to you. Will you lead me? And then I just had to throw this one in for fun. Better to live in the corner of an attic than with a cantankerous woman in a big home. You know, he's not just in the attic. He's in the corner. It's better to be crammed into the corner of an attic than with a cantankerous woman in a big house. So be careful who you marry. That's what he's saying. Now, same can be true of men. Better to live in the corner of anywhere than with a cantankerous, angry, addicted man. Proverbs will save your life. David wrote in Psalm 119, I've hidden your word in my heart, God. I meditate on your word. I hide it in my heart that I might not sin. When you read God's word on a daily basis, God begins to speak to you. It begins to seep into your soul so that you will almost begin to know intuitively. Because God's word is guiding your decisions, what to do and what not to do.

Gang, isn't this true? When you become the right kind of person, follower of Christ, one who's godly, reads his word, hangs around great people, when you become the right kind of person, you'll start making the right kind of decisions. And a lot of people don't like to read, especially men, but you got to read. You got to read to gain wisdom. In preparation for this single talk today, I read these eight books. Some of them I reread, I'd read them before and I referenced them, but these are eight books that just built into me ways to live wisely. Saturate your mind and heart with God's wisdom. On the morning of January 15, 2009, 150 passengers and crews packed their bags and headed to LaGuardia Airport in New York City. The plane raced down the runway, took off. At 90 seconds into the flight, the plane hit a flock of geese. Moments later, the pilot, Sully Sullinger, felt what every pilot dreads, double engine failure from a massive bird strike. Suddenly, the lives of 155 people were in the hands of this one man, and he was confronted with a decision that would either save or kill everybody on board. He told the control tower, he says, I've got to land on the Hudson River. And the controller whispered to a colleague, this is a death sentence. Nobody survives a water crash. But what the controller didn't know is that Sully had trained four years in the Air Force Academy. He became a fighter pilot. He was promoted to Air Force officer. He was a fanatic about safety. He went to crash sites and learned all he could about why it crashed and how it might have been avoided. And what the 155 passengers didn't know is that they were in the hands of a pilot who for 42 years was gaining wisdom for this single moment.

Would it be enough? Would all his training, practice, and wisdom pay off for the one moment that mattered? In one of the best statements I've ever heard, Sully said to Katie Couric, the reporter, he said, for 42 years, I've been making small, regular deposits in the bank of experience and wisdom. And on January 15th, the balance was sufficient so I could make one very large withdrawal. One wise decision after another for 42 years. And on January 15th, all those small decisions paid off. And every one of those people survived that landing. Gang, lots of people are great for one day. Lots of us are great for one day. Sully was great every day. The most blessed people I know aren't great for just one day. They are great every day by making small deposits in the bank of godliness and wisdom. They realize that none of us are flying alone. They realize that we all have passengers counting on us, spouses, children, coworkers, friends. They're belted in behind us, hoping and praying that you and I will be great every day so that when the crisis hits, you and I all know what to do. I am so glad and so grateful that my dad was a Sully. That he was a godly man, a man of discipline, a man of faithfulness. Never once was there a hint that he would be unfaithful to my mom. We knew dad was a dad of his word.

He made deposits of wisdom and experience in us kids, his entire life. I'm so glad my son David is a Sully. He loves Christ with all his heart. One of our top givers in our church. Successful businessman, wife and four kids. And David lives as a Christ follower. Making wise, he's not perfect, but making wise decisions based on God's truth. And God's blessed him. So eternally grateful that my son-in-law, Justin, is a Sully. Follower of Christ. He's a radiologist, a physician. Husband to my daughter, Meg. And he's so good to her and their three kids. Devoted to each other, devoted to Christ. Living by God's wisdom, so that when the moments of struggle come, and they all come to us, every one of us, they'll make it, they'll land the jet, and everybody will make it and be safe. Now I know what some of you maybe are thinking today as I'm talking about decision making. You're thinking, Bob, I just want to know if I should marry this guy, or marry this gal. I just want to know if we should buy the house. I just want to know if we should change careers or move to a different state. Here's what I'd say.

If you get clear on your values, write them down, figure out what you want in life. If you measure the cost to big decisions, if you pre-decide what you will never, ever do, if you saturate your mind and heart with God's wisdom, then you'll become the kind of person who makes great decisions. And God gives you great freedom then, who to marry, what to buy, or where to live. Because gang, when you become the right kind of person, you'll start making the right kind of decisions. I am so proud of the 109 people who are signed up for baptism next week. Baptism is the first step of obedience in a Christian's life. And I'm just telling you right now, when you go public with your faith like that, God honors you in ways that you can't even predict. And if you're sitting here kind of on the fence, wondering, should I be baptized next weekend? It'd be the best decision you could make. Because I'm telling you, God always, always, always, always honors obedience. So when you become a Christian, a Christ follower, the Bible says, go and be baptized. If you haven't signed up, you're wondering whether you should or not, next weekend is your weekend. Let's pray together. Father, thanks so much for loving us as we are,

but you don't want us to stay where we are. You want us to grow, you want us to become people who are deeper in our faith, people who are deeper in our devotion to prayer and reading your word. God, help us make better decisions. Forgive us our sins. and my sins are many. God, forgive us our sins as we try to forgive others who sin against us. Thank you for this moment of worship today. We love you and worship you in Christ's name, amen. Thank you, you're a great church. Love you. See you next time. Hey everyone, it's Adam from Embrace. If you enjoyed today's message, make sure to subscribe to Embrace's YouTube channel to stay updated. You can also click here to check out other videos. Thanks for watching.