You Need a Family | Pastor Jeremy DeWeerdt

Thank you for being here on Labor Day weekend. Hopefully get a little bit of rest and relaxation this weekend. We are beginning a brand new series though today called Sacred Rhythms. And over the next month, we're gonna discuss holy habits that help you get in touch with God, in touch with the divine. And you know, from time to time, all of us feel this way. We feel sometimes like God is a little distant, but some of us have felt that for a long time. And you know what, I wanna help with that. When God feels distant or you feel like you're not quite in sync with Him, we wanna this month talk about ways that you can get in touch with God and have that closeness. You know, the Bible is very clear that God is always present. Can I get a big amen on that, right? Always there. But you know what relationship requires intentionality. It's like any other relationship you and I have in our lives. It doesn't become healthy by accident. You have to put effort into it. So even though God is always with us, closeness with God must be cultivated, all right? And the way I would put it is this, God's presence is a promise. Communion with Him is a practice, all right?

So we're gonna talk about that this month. Then we're gonna talk about practical ways to position yourself, to have a deeper, more meaningful relationship with the God that created you. And if you do the things we're gonna talk about in the next four weeks, I promise you you are gonna experience the presence of God at a different level. Now we are built for rhythms. That's how I call it a sacred rhythm. So we are built for rhythms. In fact, the universe that we live in is in rhythm. Let me take a second and sound like your high school science teacher for a moment, all right? But the world that you and I live in has rhythms. There's the circadian rhythm, and that is, you know, the sun goes up, the sun goes down, right? And the earth rotates every 24 hours, there's a period of light and a period of darkness. And this is a rhythm. It actually scientifically regulates our sleep, our hormones, our metabolism. It's something that is very important for us. Also for nature, this affects plant photosynthesis. It impacts animal activity and behavior. Our world was designed by God to have seasons of activity every day and seasons of rest every day. That's just one of the rhythms.

Another one would be like seasonal rhythms, you know? You got growth, you got harvest, you got dormancy, you got renewal. Up here in the Midwest, we call this like seasons, you got spring, summer, fall, and winter, right? And you know what, plants need this. They need actually cold and dormancy up here to actually flourish. There's also tidal rhythms. If you are down at a Cape Coral location, you're very familiar with this, the ocean comes in. The ocean goes out mainly because of the pole, the gravitational pole, the moon. Coastal ecosystems are dependent on this rhythm of in and out, it's there for feeding, reproduction, and even protection for some animals. My point is this, there are countless rhythms that God has built into his universe for it to grow and thrive, and it's the same with you. There are rhythms, I would call them sacred rhythms for you to spiritually thrive. And today, I wanna talk about a very important one that we're gonna launch into, the first one out of the four. And this one is hugely impacting on how we commune with God. And the sacred rhythm, the holy habit I wanna talk about is the holy habit of going to church. Now, I know what you guys are thinking. You're like, we're already here. We're already at church.

Why are you talking about? Yes, but do you know why you're here? Because so many people have a wrong perception of why they go to church. Sometimes people are like, well, I probably should get back to church, and it kind of feels like life is in all the way what it should be, and so I'll go to church. Or some of you might even growing up in a church kind of environment that you were taught if you didn't go to church, you're going to hell. So you're like, all right, I'm going to church 'cause I don't wanna go where it's hot, you know? I don't know, but I know some of you are thinking, oh, you sound like such a pastor, Jeremy. You sound like a pastor, you're going to church, go to church, well, I want it to be more than that. I want you today to understand why it is important to be a part of church, and it may be something more vitally important than you can imagine I realize there's a whole movement right now, mostly on social media, that some people are getting out there and preaching. They're maybe not necessarily pastors, but they're preaching on social media that's suggesting that you can love Jesus and you don't have to go to church. You can love Jesus, but you don't have to go to church. And you go to Instagram, TikTok, Facebook. People are promoting this idea that you can be a Christian, you can have communion with God, you can serve,

you can do all of these things, but you don't have to be a part of a quote organized religion or something to that effect. Here's the problem with that idea or that messaging. The problem is this, it has zero biblical foundation. Like I'm talking, it is the antithesis of what the Bible actually says. In Hebrews, it says that we should go to church more as the Lord's return draws near. In fact, so when you hear people go, well, I love Jesus, but I don't have to go to church. No, no, no, that has zero biblical foundation. The New Testament knows nothing of a Christianity that says yes to Jesus and no to his church. In short, the New Testament, in the New Testament, there's no such thing as a churchless Christianity. You cannot become fully the person God intends you to be apart from the people God has called you to belong to. And that's what we're gonna talk about today. Your spiritual formation hinges on your involvement in church, and I'm gonna explain today why. Because some of you, when you grew up, your mom asked you to do something and you were going, why? And she looked back to you and she's like, "Because I said so." How many of you had that experience, right? Well, today, I really don't want this to be because I said so message. Why do I go to church?

'Cause I said so, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna really break this down. Because I think the reason why so many people view church as optional or they are infrequent in their attendances because they don't really understand the importance of what church is and how they're to be a part of it. They don't really get it. They just see it as something they do maybe on Sundays, maybe a Christmas in Easter, whatever. True Christianity, though, is about following Jesus together, not following him alone. Now, as I'm preaching this, I'm also aware of some things. I wear there are literally thousands of people watching online right now. Some of you physically are not in any sort of proximity to one of our physical locations. I get that. So listen, keep being a part of City First Anywhere, our online church. But some of you are watching right now and you got up and you're having a bad hair day or the kids were a little crazy and you're like, I don't know if I'm gonna go. I wanna speak to those of us who can get into a physical location or maybe you're infrequent in how you watch online. I want you to become more frequent, more consistent because true Christianity is about following Jesus together, not following him alone.

Salvation, yes, is an individual choice. I choose, you choose to follow Jesus. At the moment of salvation, we made a personal choice. However, beyond that, following Jesus happens in community. You know, there's a concept that's pretty recent in modernity that is called a quiet time. Now, for those of you who don't know what that means, that's kind of like people talk about like in churches, that's a Christian set aside time for daily prayer and individual Bible reading and reflection and things like that. Do you understand that the concept of a personal quiet time only dates back to the late 1800s? In the 2000 years that the church has been in existence since Jesus ascended to heaven. In 2000 years, only since the late 1800s, some argue the early 1900s has the idea of a personal quiet time, even been a thing. And here's the reason why. It's because, you know, for most of the 2000 years, people didn't own a Bible. There was a time that in cities in Europe that there was one Bible for the entire town. So you didn't have the luxury of opening up your Bible every day. Also on top of that, do you know for the vast majority of the last 2000 years, the majority of people couldn't read? So you literally couldn't read.

There's nothing wrong with having a quiet time in fact. you can date that back thousands and thousands of years way into the Old Testament where people, prophets, even Jesus himself got away and they privately prayed to God the Father. That's been around forever, but the idea of this, I pray alone, I read the Bible alone, I interpret the Bible alone, I apply the Bible alone, that is a new concept. In America and in the West, we've made it me plus Bible plus coffee plus Jesus, all right? Nothing wrong with it, nothing wrong with it. But let me tell you what the Old Testament and more importantly, even the New Testament when the formalized churches was established, the New Testament thought this, it is prayer plus focus on scripture, most of the time they had memorized scripture from a very young age, 'cause they maybe physically didn't have a copy of it, but it was in their heart. It was corporate worship, it was eating together, it was listening to the apostles, otherwise known as pastors in our day, it was fellowshipping, it was serving, it was being generous together and it was gathering together as a church. It was way more than me, just alone worshiping and just looking at the Bible and interpreting the Bible, it was done in community in the first century.

In fact, in the book of Acts chapter two, this is the beginning of the church, it says this, they turn the person next to you and say, they, they is multiple people, right? Devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to fellowship and the breaking of bread and the prayer, it even says later on in that chapter in other places, it says that they gathered home to home and in the temple course. There was a constant gathering, constant gathering. The problem isn't a quiet time, that's actually good, I hope you all have quiet times. You know, it's an excellent spiritual discipline, the problem is this, is when we've allowed a personal spiritual discipline to become our only definition of a healthy relationship with God. I'm gonna say something, you can have personal quiet times and still not have a healthy, thriving spirituality. I know that sounds a little controversial, in fact I may even say something more controversial, okay? This is gonna get me some dings on social media and some DMs, all right? You don't have a fully functioning faith unless you are fully joined into God's church. If you are not doing your life with a group of other believers in a church, your faith is not gonna ever fully develop, ever. Now I know that that is very, some people are like, yes, and I'm gonna tell you why, because church is not optional,

church is actually vitally formational. You don't become who God wants you to be without his church. The Bible says that Jesus is the head of the church, so how do you like the head and not like what he runs? You see, here's the thing, I'm not saying church is a perfect, I'll get to that in my message in a moment here, okay? But you need a spiritual family. I need a spiritual family. I have gone to school for a long time about the Bible, I can know a lot about the Bible. If I don't have a spiritual family, I am deficient. I do not have a fully developing faith because your family helps inform your identity. A family helps inform your priorities. A family helps provide stability, and a family informs and forms you. Many times you look at church as a place to go rather than a people who shape us. Let me say that again. We look at a church as a place to go rather than a family that actually shapes us. See, God saves us, he forms us, he dwells among us, and he sends us into the world. That right there is the New Testament model. Jesus is our personal savior, and the church is our spiritual family, and we need both of them.

We need a personal relationship with God, and we need a spiritual family to belong to and to develop within. The church is not designed to help you live your life primarily. your life, primarily. You don't just go to church and be like, "I need a little injection of faith on Sunday." It's more than that. The church is a family where your spiritual identity is formed, your faith is strengthened, your gifts are discovered, your burdens are carried, and your purpose begins to be lived out. That's church. That's why for the last almost two decades here at City First, we say something and some people think it's just a jingle or something cute, but it's more than that. City First is not just a friendly church, but it is a family church because we are a spiritual family together. I love what Dr. Carmen Joy Imbs says. She is a Old Testament scholar. If you like really like heady academic stuff about the Old Testament, read everything she writes. It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. She says this about church. She says, "As believers, we don't just bring our families to church. We come to church because it is our family." See, it's the way you think about it. Jesus made it very clear that spiritual family is vitally important. We look at Luke chapter eight versus 19 through 21, an interesting story.

It says, "Now Jesus' mother and brothers came to see him, but they were not able to get near him because of the crowd. Someone told him, 'Your mother and brothers are standing outside wanting to see you.'" Now listen to his response. He replied, "My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and put it into practice." This is a strange reply. Many of you know that my mom and dad go to the church. My mom, Linda, some of you know her, she'll probably be at one of these services. Imagine this if all of a sudden, you know, she's trying to find me and I'm ministering here and there's obviously thousands of people who come to this church and all the things. And maybe I have like one of the first impressions team come up to me and they're like, "Hey, your mom is here to see you." And I reply back, "My mother and my siblings are those who listen to God's word and do it." That's a really weird response. Like Linda would be like, "Excuse me?" Right? To fully understand what Jesus is saying here, we got to get ourselves out of 2026 and actually out of the Western mindset and out of an American mindset and actually put ourselves in the Middle Eastern culture about 2,000 years ago. Jesus is not diminishing his physical family. He's not saying they're not important.

He's defining what spiritual family is and how important it is. In the first century, listen to this, it's kind of weird, this is gonna make sense 'cause this is so not our world. But in the first century, sibling relationships were as important and some historians would argue even more important than spousal relationships. Let me say it again. Your sibling relationships in Jesus' day were as important and in some cases, more important than who you were married to. Now, I know that some of you are like going, "Deck kind of goes against the whole "leaving cleave kind of thing" and what? Okay, here's what you got to understand. Back then, 95% of marriages were arranged marriages. So it'd be like, "Your dad is a business owner "or a herdsman or whoever and you're a gal "growing up in the Middle East." And he's a business partner with another person who has a son and your dad's got together and said, "You know what we should do? "We should have our kids marry each other." Arranged marriages. So therefore, most marriages in the Middle East during that era were not birthed out of romance, but rather out of arrangement. And then romance would grow over time. So therefore, it would be very common at that point.

If you had a brother or sister and you get married, you're actually probably have a stronger emotional bond with a sibling than you do with your spouse. Y'all tracking with me? All right, it wasn't weird. It wasn't like a romantic relationship with a sibling or anything crazy like that, it wasn't that, okay? What it is is you just had an affinity for family. Those that you are Italian, you know what I'm talking about, right? So here's the thing. Jesus is saying those that hear God's word and put it into practice, they are like family. He's not discounting physical family. is necessarily in competition with a physical family. He's basically elevating spiritual family to show how important it is. He's making a powerful statement in that culture. He's saying those who believe what he believes and practices those beliefs are as close as his physical family. That hasn't changed in 2000 years. Your church should be close. Your church should be a part of your life like family. Not just like, you know, when we say we're a family church, that's not just a cute little way to get you to come to church on Sunday. It's that literally we are a spiritual family. The language there speaks to this deep soul connection that we have brothers and sisters in Christ

that we sit with every single week and we learn about God's word and we do life together and we help each other and we pray with one another. It informs our priorities. That informs our time. It informs our finances, our loyalties, our intentionalities, our habits. You know what church does in our modern day culture? It confronts the obsession with me-ism. Church is good for your, for your me-ism. It begins to take that out of your life because modern culture, modern culture, not Christian culture, modern culture says, choose your community, choose the people who think like you, to be close to you, choose people you like and when it becomes uncomfortable, leave. That's what modern culture says. But that isn't a family, that's transactional. So here's the thing. The church places us in relationship with people. We wouldn't necessarily choose ourselves. You can laugh at that 'cause it's true. There are people in your church that you're like, "I, outside of church, I would never interact with them." You know what? The church is done for centuries. It's brought together, the old and the young. It's brought together, the rich and the poor. It's brought together all different ethnicities, backgrounds, personalities, people at different stages

of spiritual life. It's brought us all together in this messy middle called the church that Jesus loves and he leads. The church is not primarily about what you can get out of it, but rather what it does to you. You see, if we think going to church is about self-help or getting something, we will be disappointed in time. Because if we come into church just being like, "Well, what do you got for me?" Eventually, you're gonna find a reason to leave it. I hear this from time to time. People will say, "Well, I'm leaving that church "or this church or I'm leaving city first or whatever," 'cause I'm not being fed. If you hear somebody say that, that is a spiritually immature thought process. And here's the reason why infants need to be fed. Adults feed themselves, mature people feed others. (audience applauds) I come on Sundays and I don't come going, man, I hope somebody feeds me. Look at, I'm up here, right? The church is not about me being fed. The church is something that shapes me. It develops me, being in the mix with you refines me. It holds me accountable. It encourages me, it challenges me. It helps me grow and it helps me help other people grow, too. In short, it's not about attendance. It's about transformation and belonging.

That's what church is about. Somebody wanna clap about that. Okay, come on, you can do it. (audience applauds) Your church, this church, has many spiritual fathers and mothers. This church has many spiritual siblings, brothers and sisters. And this church has some weird cousins, too. (audience laughs) Every church does. You know, the weird cousins are kinda like, eh, do we got 'em and invite 'em to Thanksgiving dinner, really, do we have to? Every church has people that rub you wrong. Do you hear that? And this is why some people on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook have said that they don't wanna be a part of something because there are people within church. So they say, "I've left church because it's full of hypocrites." Well, I'll tell you, that church then just lost a hypocrite. Because here's the reason why, we're all hypocritical. There is this kind of inference there that I actually have it all together and I'm leaving that group of people that don't have it all together. Well, the hypocrisy is called pride then. Does that make sense? So here's the thing. I am not saying that they're all the way wrong. They say this, they're like, "You know, churches are full of flaws.

Churches are full of things that are wrong." And you know what? I would say as a pastor of a pretty big church, I would say they're not completely incorrect. The church does have flaws. And sometimes there's people in it that do wrong things. And here's the thing, churches do have sin in them because there are sinners that are in the church. Does that make sense? So yes, I agree and I'm not discounting it and I am not dismissing it. I am not saying it's okay. In fact, as a church, we should constantly be looking for flaws and correcting them. We should constantly be confronting people who are doing things wrong, okay? So don't hear this as it's a, "Oh, no big deal. Every church has flaws." No, no, no, just don't confuse the failures of God's family as a failure of God's character. It's completely different. You see, in the Bible, time after time, read Paul's letters, we call him books now, but read his letters to the church of Philippi, Thessaloniki, to Colossae, to all of these different cities. All of those churches are severely screwed up. That's why he's writing the letter. He's going, get it together, right? So how does God respond when a church has flaws? Well, he sees it and I think he comes close to people

that have experienced pain because of flawed churches and he will work to try to make things right. And quite honestly, he's a God of justice. You can't have a God of grace without a God of justice. He's a God of justice and he will bring justice to the improper things that happen. Now, again, there's the extremes out there like what you see on Netflix, all right? I'm not talking about that. If you're in that kind of crazy, you need to get out of that church, okay? So that's what I'm talking about. The vast majority of churches are not like that. What I'm saying is, is that none of us are perfect. And when we come together as a church, there's gonna be imperfections, but don't let an imperfect representation of God cause you to walk away from a perfect God. Don't do it. So what do you do if your church has flaws? Well, and again, I'm talking not the crazy kind of flaws. I'm talking about just normal flaws, all right? Understand that God intentionally creates a family full of all kinds of different people. There are gonna be people at this church that irritate you. It's just gonna happen because you can't have just many people coming together. You can't have three people coming together with somebody irritating you. Does that make sense?

So yes, it's gonna happen, all right? The goal is not to try to find the perfect match for your preferences, but rather to say, I'm a part of something that is maybe formative. It's actually building something in me. Those people maybe are creating some sparks, but maybe it's refining me. It's doing something, sharpening me. See Western individualism, which by the way, I think is the God of our era, individualism, the me, the meism, right? Western individualism makes us want to only hang out with people who we like and who are like us. But the church gives us brothers and sisters we didn't necessarily choose. And again, I'm not talking about dangerous, abusive, controlling churches. There's a few of them out there, I get that. But can I also speak to that in a moment? Our culture has expanded the definition of the term abuse. Like there's real abuse, and then now there's like a definition that somebody's being abusive if they make you feel bad. That's not abuse. You see, sometimes we think that something's toxic if somebody's pointing out a fault in us and saying, hey, listen, you need to work on this. And it's like, they made me feel bad. Well, you would have never been a good disciple of Jesus

because Jesus turned to Peter and said, get behind me Satan. And you know what Peter did not do? Grab his little comfort animal and go to his safety pod. He didn't do that. Like, Jesus was very forth. you don't get it. It's like, oh, you made me feel bad. I'm talking to HR. You know, no, no. Listen, there is real abuse out there. I'm not talking that what I'm saying is, I'm saying that if this church or any church confronts compromise, if it holds you accountable, that's not gaslighting. You see, healthy churches are not always comfortable churches. I heard a pastor say this recently, everyone wants a prophetic pastor until they got one. Here's the thing, healthy yet flawed church families can actually make you feel uncomfortable, but they actually refine you. That's actually good for you. The church family is not about just hanging out with people that all get along. Like, you know this, if you have a physical family, like we have three boys and the two older ones, or we're only 20 months apart. And recently our oldest son, Caden, he digitized some VHS tapes. Remember what those are?

Anyway, he digitized them and we were watching, and we are literally crying, laughing, because here's Caden and Connor, and they're like, this tall, and they're like, they're having fun, and they're wrestling and all stuff, and then it gets serious. And all of a sudden they start punching each other, you know what I mean, that kind of stuff. And it's like, that was what it was like for years at our house, they love each other, they want to kill each other, that was just what it was. And we'd be like, you know, get them in the room, and we'd be like, say you're sorry. Say you're sorry, sorry. You know what I mean, right? Okay, spiritual family, sometimes it's no different. Sometimes you don't always get along. Sometimes there's friction. Sometimes there's honest conversations. But as a church family, that's where we'll learn to love each other when we don't see eye to eye, 'cause sometimes the person that frustrates you is a part of your formation. Sometimes God put that person into your life for a reason, because they're supposed to refine you. A bad experience with family doesn't mean you're designed to live without family. You understand that? So as I close, church does not primarily exist to give each and every one of us what we want.

The question is not, what am I getting out of this church? The question is, what am I becoming because of this church? See, it's a totally different mindset. It's not consumerism, it's formation. If your church looks exactly like you and thinks exactly like you and never irritates you, that is not a real church. This is why so many people say, I love Jesus and I don't wanna go to church. It's easier that way. See, if your church is just you, then you never disagree with you. And if your church is just you, you never challenge you. You never get irritated with you, you're always right. It's easier. No one is challenging you to live different. No one is challenging you to think different. No one is challenging you to give more money. No one is challenging you to serve others or to correct wrong behavior or to stretch and grow your faith. It's just you. Well, me church is not the church. You hear that? Me church is not the church. I need you. You need me. And you know what? Even if we're not best friends, even if I don't even know your name, I need you in this church and you need me. Jen and I went out to eat this week

with a great couple of been a part of this church for years and the wife was like, you preached a sermon a year ago and I was so angry at you because I was talking about something that she knew that she needed to do and she didn't wanna do it. She was fighting it, wrestling it. Sometimes I'm gonna irritate you. I irritate Jen all the time, ask her. Sometimes you're gonna irritate me, but here's the thing. We are gonna do life together and allow God to form us. It doesn't mean that you have to be BFF with everybody in the church, it's impossible. And you shouldn't be, by the way. You should choose your inner circle very carefully. But God uses the people that you know and even the people you don't, to shape the person you're becoming. Do you understand that? So what you gotta do, get in a group. You're like, I don't wanna get in a group, I'm uncomfortable. You don't grow in comfort. You only grow in discomfort. Step out of your comfort zone, get in a group. We begin 'em next week as the next semester and you could go just for the semester and if it's not for you, you could find another group or whatever else, okay? Go to growth track. You're like, ah, I don't know if I wanna, okay.

No, do tough things. Engage in ways that is more just warming the seat. Do something where God can use this experience of church. It's a dynamic organism, not an organization to change you, form you, more into his image. Don't just go to church when your kid doesn't have travel ball that weekend. Don't make me start talking about travel sports, all right? (audience laughing) Something you will not like me. I'm gonna irritate you. All right, anyway. Don't let church be something you attend as a consumer or a critic, but instead, say you know what, I'm gonna form a holy habit. And the holy habit I'm gonna have you commit to is this, I'm gonna put it on the screen. You say, I commit to being part of city first consistently, not just once every four weeks, not just Christmas and Easter, not just when everything goes, you know, to hell in a hand basket and I need to come running back to church and get a dose of faith. No, no, consistently and wholeheartedly, not just attending, but belonging, contributing and growing. It is, yeah, I've heard about city first to becoming city first is my church. See, I'm gonna ask you to commit to that. And I'm gonna keep that up there a moment

because as we pray, you know, commitments are not based upon feelings, it's based upon many times duty or what is right, it's a decision of the will. So you may not feel like it, but you say, I'm gonna commit. You know what, for those of you that like, you have a family, you have kids, that as a parent, you just say, you know what, I'm committing, we are gonna be a family that goes to church. We are gonna be a family who goes to church as an individual, as a single. You just sit there and say, I'm gonna be a person who I go to church, not because I'm going and I'm trying to get something out of it, but rather I'm gonna allow church to be the formational environment in which God begins to thrive in my life. You need church, church needs you. It's an amazing, beautiful thing. I'll tell you what, you cut me, I bleed local church. Criticize whatever you want. Criticize the local church and yes, we have flaws. The local church has problems, but I'll tell you what, I will defend the local church until my dying breath, 'cause I realize this is the only place the spiritual formation takes place and creates you into the Christ follower that you're supposed to be. You can't do it on your own.

You gotta be in the middle of the mess of the church. And guess what God uses it? And he constantly refines the church and he constantly aligns the church, but as he's doing that, he's refining us, he's aligning us, he's forming us. My prayer is that you make church a consistent thing that you do, and if you have to do it online, do it online, but if you can be in person, get here. We wanna see your smiley face. We want you to be apart. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, I just thank you. I thank you for your church. Lord, the Bible says later on in the New Testament that God, we're to love our spouse the way that you love the church. You love the church. The Bible says that you are the head of the church. So God, I pray that at city first we'd be all in. That God, we would be wholehearted, that we'd be consistent. Lord, we'd also embrace it when sometimes the church is not on its best foot, but rather instead it struggles. Lord, we say, God, we wanna be a part of it because we want you to form you inside of us. We want a holy habit, a sacred rhythm so that we can sense you, the divine, working in our lives.

We love you in Jesus' name. And everybody said, amen, amen, amen.